Altho I didn't get cheated on but she lied to my face about going on a date with her "ex"...and that just broke my trust completely...and what hurt more was how she tried to flip it on me like it was all my fault for not giving her the passion in the relationship whereas I was the one trying to make it work for the past few months
Basically, he chose to go in on a lease with his ex and a friend (that he barely knows) over me and he’s moving like 5 hours away. He said he doesn’t wanna be in an LDR. I would’ve been able to move with him and be added to the lease but the ex and the friend have a bunch of pets so the landlord set the amount of lesee’s at 3. :/ he’s a piece of shit.
Yeah I got the Text + immediate block because “if we don’t stop talking we will not break up”…
Truly confused how a phone call would have been worse especially since there was no animosity at all.
Used ‘🥺’ in every sentence. Did the most loudest poops, like they always smelt so bad and they were so gastric every time. Couldn’t spell for the life of him. Had the grossest body form, like he had no ass and literally no hips, so his pants kept falling down and showing his buttcrack. He brushed his teeth once every two weeks and never washed his hands after going to the toilet.
Found him on social media. Stayed with him a year. I stayed with him that long because the hygiene problem wasn’t a problem at the start. He started to do it out of nowhere.
Throughout our relationship, would only show interest in me after I sent something explicit. Otherwise it was the cold shoulder and one word sentences. Not do or even say anything special for my birthday / holidays. He deffo celebrated just not when it came to me. Had the loveliest way of making me feel not in the least special…
Oo also she would lose interest as soon as I started talking about something I was passionate about and completely zone out but would expect me to actively listen to her whenever she was telling me something that was of interest to her. I realise now how selfish she was in the relationship.
My ex did the same. He would go on for hours complaining about his job, or how the world had one out for him, or how he’ll never be a king like in the Roman days 😑, or how he deserved to own more houses (he already owned two). Despite that, I listened wholeheartedly and tried to bring positivity and hope and actually create ideas and plans so we could buy real estate and make these goals a reality. Meanwhile, I’d try to talk about hopeful things or interesting ideas or things I was learning and he would walk out of the room, turn the music up, put the shhh symbol in front of my mouth etc. It was very one-sides in terms of who could emote or talk.
My ex did this...I would tell him all sorts of things about myself and he never listened. "I didn't know that"-I told you in several conversations! I loved hearing him talk about his past...never even got jealous when he talked about his ex-wife; I'd get sad instead...mainly because she died...
Sext me all week long. You know, to the point that I'm going out of my mind and literally ready to rip his clothes off. Come the weekend, I'm in lingerie for a date night, sent him pic previews of what I was wearing under my clothes to add a little excitement to the evening. Buuuut he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and talked about his ex gf on and off all night. The ex that he supposedly hated/wanted nothing to do with. Told me all about how she was hanging out with mutual friends again and it was annoying bc he didn't really want to spend time with her. Get back to his place and we didn't even cuddle when we put Netflix on. He sat on the freaking opposite side of the couch. I was SO crushed! Went up to his bathroom and started to cry. Only one of many 'icks' though. That shit fucked my heart up though.
I live to cuddle after sex. Makes me feel loved and appreciated. She used to too but stopped eventually…
Anyway, One day after sex I ask to cuddle, and she straight up says,”Nope. I got what I wanted.”
Biggest ick I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt more like a piece of meat.
The way he lay down like a plank and just played on his phone for hours when I was sat next to him trying to communicate it was like talking to a brick wall. He's got this beautiful girl next to him wanting fun and excitement and I barely got a glance. You can be so lonely when you're right next to someone.
Same here! Like what in the hell!?!?! But here's the kicker! Let me start by saying that I don't have a problem with porn but he would just sit and watch porn. We would be watching TV and he would be on his phone watching porn!? Like it was an episode of law and order?! Then he wouldn't want to have sex?? Someone PLEASE explain!
Ya I was cool with the whole porn thing. I just thought it was weird that he would watch it and then not want to have sex. We would have sex sometimes but not always.
yeah. we'd finish and he would roll over and grab his phone immediately. 🙃 fun times. definitely didn't make me feel like I was being used for sex or anything !! :)))
More often than not, if I felt hurt by him, he’d invalidate my feelings instead of trying to understand them and/or apologizing. If I kept pushing for understanding or an apology, or if I cried because I felt hurt for what he considered too much time, he’d stop talking to me for around a day — because when I was hurt as a result of his words/actions/inactions, he became so frustrated (and possibly even angry?) that he chose to cut communication instead of truly working together to address the issue.
Yes it’s extremely triggering as well - I think for any person. I brought it up as hurtful many times, tried to set a boundary around it, etc. I still don’t get it - do you?
I sort of get it. I think he felt shamed and blamed when I felt hurt by him. He once said the he felt bad when I cried if I was crying bc of him, bc that made him feel like he had to change any given behavior (and he didn’t want to). So me crying was maybe perceived as manipulative and/or something that resulted in him feeling guilt…
He didn’t want his gf to feel sad all the time, and he didn’t want to change certain behaviors, and he couldn’t change others, bc changing some wasn’t natural to him. His anger may have been a result of clearly seeing that I wasn’t happy, and knowing that he couldn’t/wouldn’t do much differently?
I think in a healthy partnership, there would be enough compatibility so that tears don’t happen once every few weeks, maybe? But i also think a healthy partnership can handle some tears, and that the capacity to apologize and modify some behaviors is important
Mine ex literally told me that I “ruined” living together, ruined vacations together, etc, by expressing that I was upset about something and then crying. Albeit, I cried a lot when there was no resolution, but the fact that there was no resolution and that this resulted in tears doesn’t really mean that I ruined things? We were just…incompatible, my emotions may have been a bit too big, and he may not have had the emotional energy for even minimal emotions…
I’m glad you’re able to see it that way looking back. I still struggle seeing it as an incompatibility.
I guess I felt if someone had no emotional capacity whatsoever (aka telling someone they are ruining something for feeling a certain way) maybeeee they couldn’t being in any healthy relationship?
It was hard for me to see how else it could work.
I tried to silence myself, but then he would call out that I seemed shut down. I’d tried to bring things up and he’d feel defensive or think I was ruining things. I feel it’s impossible to never bring things up - unless they just want to date shut down people who maybe use addictions to cope? 🧐
Mine wasn’t argumentative or hostile — more like, he’d tell me to drop it, or he’s try to comfort me, but if it didn’t work he’d disengage. But neither great…
Yes… That’s the main reason I broke up with my bf. One time I had to beg for an apology after he called me a “fucking moron” during a discussion. I saw that he played video games at midnight with his ex (only 2 weeks after I told him I didn’t want him to talk with his exes) and told him I was angry at him and would tell the reason if he wanted to know why. He said nope and that was it for me I broke up on the spot. I didn’t want to break his heart especially since he is going through tough times but the amount of disrespect was unbelievable. I know it wouldn’t have worked out with someone who refuses to fix his behavior but I was just so attached to him, we were bestfriends before too but now I’m wishing I never met him or that I’d never confessed that day. I just needed to vent so thank you if anyone reads this.
He had a porn addiction so he had to watch it every day. He always had performance issues and eventually I found out that was why. Eventually he stopped having sex with me altogether because he preferred porn.
He used to give me his word but never keep them up. Never had any regard for me. Basically was very very disrespectful....in four years never even took me out on a date. A huge lazy piece of shit.
Communication issues, narcissistic and gaslighting tendencies, cheated with someone of the same name as me, posted lewd photos of me without my knowledge or consent, avoided me for months when I got out of the mental hospital, made me cry on my birthday amongst other times, told me that if given the opportunity he would have sex with someone else and it wouldn’t be considered cheating/disloyal/unfaithful, weaponized my mental health against me
Oh I’m sorry you asked for one ick and I went on a rant
Thank you, I regret ever getting romantically involved with him. I should have kept him as just a friend, I wouldn’t have known this shit otherwise and this shit wouldn’t have happened to me. I know I should have left long ago, but thanks to attachment issues and all sorts of shit. I’m just dumb
You got out though, that's a step in the right direction. We all make mistakes, no need to beat yourself up over them even more than this situation already does. Attachment issues are pretty difficult to deal with, but you got out, and at least you don't have to deal with this dude's bullshit anymore. I'm pretty sure you deserve better. Can only be an improvement for your mental health from here on out, I reckon
Set plans and bail consistently. Prioritise friends over his girlfriend. Talked to other girls behind my back. Didn’t communicate. Left me hanging. Emotionally cold and distant. Fucking moron.
Stank of weed constantly and smoked it all day everyday and I don’t think I ever saw her brush her teeth the whole time we were together oh and she used to sweat profusely so badly I had to throw out a bedsheet from the sweat stains
Didn’t brush his teeth as often as he should. Every time he brushed his teeth around me his gums would bleed. I honestly think he already has periodontitis. Probably not entirely his fault, he wasn’t raised in the best home environment.
I have misophonia - HAAAATE chewing noises. Sometimes he’d unknowingly smack his lips and chew with his mouth open when we were eating together and it would start winding me up and aggravating me. I’d never say anything because I know it’s a “me problem”.
Omg. My ex would get so mad at me when I’d freak out about the chewing. Said all humans do it and he couldn’t help it. I’d try to just be somewhere else when he ate but he’d get upset at that too. His parents were even worse. My ex would at least chew with his mouth closed, but his parents are like fucking cows chomping down on grass. Their mouths almost fully open when they chewed. I refused to be around them when they eat.
Blech. My parents are also gross eaters in their older age, even though they trained me from a really young age to have good table manners. I’m just so used to suppressing my ick that I take time to decompress or eat on my own. My ex honestly didn’t have as bad manners as my mom, but every once in awhile he’d not think about it or whatever and it would just make me feel 🤢
Loved playing video games but only if he was winning. It all of a sudden became boring, or “not that difficult” or he wanted to switch to something else if I was the one actually doing good and not him. He’d get so mad if I just had a natural talent for something bc he’s “the best gamer he knows” always said he wished I was better at games so I was actually competition but then didn’t like if I was actually starting to get good. Ugh fucking frustrating
Had a thing for someone else and insisted she didn’t and immediately got with him days after we broke up and then made me out to be the bad person after we broke up. I made mistakes but damn that sucks
* Stuff i wanted and asked her to do with me but she couldn't do it for x reasons. But she'd do the same stuff with her friends on a whim.
* Somehow turned every disagreement and issues into something that happened because of me even if i was the one who brought up the issue cause by her.
* Lack of communication.
* Actions didnt meet her words.
* Friends more important than boyfriend.
Did we date the same man? He strung me along for about a year and then said, "Okay, we're going to have a real dating relationship"; we're even going to get a place together. Made fun of and didn't understand my depression and anxiety; failed to understand my chronic health issues and limitations due to it and said those would be issues (because sometimes, my dishes sit in the sink or I leave clothes on the floor or don't put my mail away right away)! I'm the one with issues letting go though...I love him so much yet and it's been 8 months without contact now...And I was the one spending money on him...He had bad problems with money; prevented him from getting evicted once;utilities kept on...new tires..whole bunch of stuff
Instead of normal kissing, she would stick her tongue out of her mouth and expect me to wiggle my tongue around with hers in the open air. Like, uh, sorry, but can we please just put our lips together? It’s fucking weird.
Showered every 4 days. Never brushed his teeth. The odor coming from him was awful. Yet when he dumped me who showers daily 3x teeth brushes told me I was physically repulsive.
I became an automotive engineer cuz I love cars and motorcycles and she's known this for years. I was talking to one of my friends about my dream car and I was absolutely gushing over it in that convo. A couple days later she tells me my convo gave her the ick.
For real. I never would have even thought of belittling her passions or goals. The worst part about it was that I thought that it was okay for her to say stuff like that. Never again
There was the normal not listening, not willing to have honest conversations, and the fact that she asked around about me at work before we started dating and created a fake persona she thought I’d like.
But the one that always sticks in my head:
She kept a plastic “poop knife” in the bathroom so she could “cut up big pieces.”
Yell or raise her voice. I understand that this is human nature to express anger. But, that's not how you have a conversation about what you're feeling. At that point, it is an argument. It was the worst. The pressure from her getting angry like this always brought the worst in me and pushed me to respond hastily, which was never a good response.
We'd be texting constantly all day every day. I'd always ask questions about how her day was going etc.... Pretty regularly she wouldn't think to reciprocate and ask anything about me or my day at all until 6pm or later.
Would ramble on about the most mundane shit for what felt like hours. One time in particular, she spent a solid 30 minutes complaining about this specific brand of chocolate. I kept thinking to myself "she's already said all this is to say about this topic" but nooooo, she kept going on repeating herself. As someone who loves to talk about theoretical and abstract stuff, it was physically painful to listen to her talk complete trash haha.
So these weren’t issues before we moved in together, but once moving in became issues. Rarely washes his hands after going to the bathroom (like 1/20 bathroom trips), rarely flushed (even poop half the time), didn’t brush his teeth before bed, refused to wear deodorant 95% of the time (“because it causes cancer”), left the toilet seat up a lot, left his toe nails growing nasty for years, used to only shower 2 times a week, chewed with his mouth open until I’d ask him to stop, after puking he’d flush the toilet but wouldn’t clean up all the puke around the toilet bowl, and put Red Bull cans in the recycling without rinsing out. Also, sometimes when we’d shower together, if I was closer to the drain than him, he’d try to aim at the drain and pee around me. A lot of times without even warning me first.
Stupid enough, I legit would still be with this man. However HE chose to break up with me because he got cold feet about proposing, got spooked about marriage and kids. And oh yeah has “infatuations” for a girl he met at a gas station that smiles at him and is polite (because it’s her job, she literally works there). Im just hoping I can move forward, I just hate how screwed over I got. Kicked out of our place, broken up with, no money (he promised to provide for me even though I asked many times if I needed a job), and I’m moving in with my parents in a completely new city. Wish me luck 🍀
Wanted to get intimate with me, but at the same time said he doesn’t know if he has feelings for me (after completely love bombing me in the beginning)
He used to get mad at me for being upset at something he did to me. And he was always late to every date
Example: we were supposed to go out to watch a movie, and he said he would get the tickets, and we would go. He showed up 3 hours late and hadn't bought the tickets. Then, he got mad at me when I was reasonably upset. I will add that he didn't even text or call to tell me he was going to be late nor did he give me a reason as to why he was late.
She had what I'd consider unrealistic expectations that forced me away from hobbies and friends I loved. It's only been a week but despite it all I still want her with me
I look back at some things she had problems with and I can't help but feel like I could've done more she always said as much as I listened to her interests she felt like I never gave her the same energy and care as when I shared things with her
Wore socks for a week, used to put them under the bed and hide them from me so I couldn’t get them to put them in the wash. Also would wear boxers for multiple days at a time.
My ex bf rarely brushed his teeth and literally cannot tell he smells of BO. Also “cleaning” himself was an issue. when we first started I kept getting UTIs and I made sure he showered before sex because I literally think I was getting them from him not being able to clean himself.
Was always more concerned with her friends’ happiness and their relationship problems than our own. Dismissive and avoidant of problems that would come up, apologize only to end the discussion without actually resolving any issues and then get mad that I’d still be upset about things saying I was “living in the past and not getting over things”
She always left skid marks in the toilet ... I'd have to ask her to make a splash or clean the fucking toilet .
Fuck ! .... I just realized how much I don't miss that !
Edit : Sorry I just realized what a shitty comment I left.
He had very bad fashion sense - like wearing huge scarves in 80F weather in California. I love a good scarf but they were also some really interesting pattern choices. Also, he had very bad communication skills and would close himself off & get cold/distant and not want to work on things instead of just telling me what was bothering him. He said we weren’t on the same page & things were moving too fast, but he could have just told me that and I would have taken things slower if that’s all it really was. He also had performance issues and was not very good in bed. He had erectile dysfunction and then when he’d finally get hard, he’d only last like 2 seconds, rolled over, and then kick me out of bed saying he was tired. Didn’t even want to cuddle and I’d have to force him to at least walk me out to my car.
He let his non-black friends say racist micro aggressions about me and body shame me ( my ex is a black man btw) and when I confronted him about it, he lied and said that they were black even though they weren't and that I shouldn't be mad.
So many things he but the worst was probably where he would judged me and made comments whenever I was eating anything and the amount I was eating, letting me know that I should stop eating or eat less or something else by taking it away. He didn’t allow me to eat desserts or anything sweet when I was craving it. Forced me to buy certain expensive brand of protein powder (with my own money.. as a student ). He was super controlling over my workouts (would join me at the gym and push me beyond my limits). Compare me with other girls who were more athletic…
I was struggling with an ed at the time and underweight. he was just using that (and many other things like my friendships) to keep control over me.
He even tried to stir up my relationship with my mother..
Smoked weed all day every day and had literal tantrums over the littlest things. Like, "I'm going to storm upstairs and hide under the duvet" tantrums.
He wouldn’t brush his hair even though it was curly so he’d have one matte on the back of his head I’d finger comb out, also didn’t wear deodorant consistently either despite working outdoors
He would go thru everything I ever wrote and any sd cards he found, and use the information to manipulate me. Also, he would leave garbage around like shed skin :(
Selfishness. I’d once planned to go see my mother and that day he planned something for us with his friend instead. When I caved (stupidly) he said “good I was going to do this anyway”… it was the first thing that made me question everything. We broke up some months later. A good heart. But a selfish attitude.
He picked his nose and would flick it or stick it wherever he wanted to…in my apartment…RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME then acted confused saying he forgot when I’d freak the fuck out. One time he did it on my pillow and I almost suffocated him with it
i hate loud startling noises. he always used to put things down by throwing them hard. i'd always get upset and tell him to stop. i'd get no reaction from him. i have a feeling he was doing it on purpose.
Anytime I would go into the kitchen while he was in there, he rolled his eyes, grunted, and sighed(inconvenienced by me) . I couldn't even get a glass of water. Isolated me socially. Insecure about my sexual past and held it against me for our entire 15yr relationship, even though I was monogamous. Trichotillomania and would eat the root of the hair.
He was convinced every gay man was hitting on him and he needed to "protect himself". He did that by becoming really passive aggressive with them. I physically cringe thinking about it.
He had to be right all the time in casual conversation, and lacked the self-confidence to communicate his feelings about our relationship. He “usually dated older women” but the bedroom game was hypothetical at best.
Lack of communication.
This is always the longest lasting reason for me to never return.
The main reason!
[удалено]
This! Stonewalling was equally just as icky. What the fuck was I thinking.
Seemed more concerned about the happiness of his ex than about mine
Hahahah relatable for real!
Yeah, I don’t know what I did wrong. Like why was she better than me
She wasn’t better, he’s just an ass. You didn’t do anything wrong and you deserve someone who will prioritize you over anyone/anything else 💕
I don’t know, it feels like I’ve been changed by all this. I’ve become less trusting of people, I’m more cynical and depressed now.
Makes two of us...wanted to keep her ex as "frnd"..ended up costing our relationship...didn't even get a sorry...made me feel so small
I didn’t get a sorry either :( But I just wish he’d been honest with me that he was cheating instead of using the flimsy excuse that he did
I get that....Atlst your ex being honest gives u the chance to make a decision instead of them making a decision for both of u
Yeah, I just feel guilty for even believing his claim they were friends
Altho I didn't get cheated on but she lied to my face about going on a date with her "ex"...and that just broke my trust completely...and what hurt more was how she tried to flip it on me like it was all my fault for not giving her the passion in the relationship whereas I was the one trying to make it work for the past few months
Are you me? Cause that’s literally why mine ended things.
Oh damn :( What happened? I’m happy to listen
Basically, he chose to go in on a lease with his ex and a friend (that he barely knows) over me and he’s moving like 5 hours away. He said he doesn’t wanna be in an LDR. I would’ve been able to move with him and be added to the lease but the ex and the friend have a bunch of pets so the landlord set the amount of lesee’s at 3. :/ he’s a piece of shit.
What an a-hole >.< I’m so sorry
This was so weird too 🥲
Broke up a 7 year relationship by text …..
Yeah I got the Text + immediate block because “if we don’t stop talking we will not break up”… Truly confused how a phone call would have been worse especially since there was no animosity at all.
Mine totally out of the blue. Didn’t see it coming at all. Crazy stuff
Yep. 5 years here and he could not even pick up the phone or say it to my face. What a bunch of pussies.
Cowards. Think we dodged a bullet there.
Used ‘🥺’ in every sentence. Did the most loudest poops, like they always smelt so bad and they were so gastric every time. Couldn’t spell for the life of him. Had the grossest body form, like he had no ass and literally no hips, so his pants kept falling down and showing his buttcrack. He brushed his teeth once every two weeks and never washed his hands after going to the toilet.
yikes, how did you find him in the first place and how long did you stay with him and why?
Found him on social media. Stayed with him a year. I stayed with him that long because the hygiene problem wasn’t a problem at the start. He started to do it out of nowhere.
As the owner of a Hank Hill ass i’m suddenly very insecure
My brother.
There is nothing wrong with a teeny butt.
My self-esteem says otherwise, hahaha
How did you even put up with somebody with no oral hygiene? Was it not obvious from the start?
Well, that’s the thing, he did wash his hands and brush his teeth when we first started dating. Then he stopped for some reason out of nowhere.
Lol you sure the man wasn’t going through hard depression ???
Lol I had an ex who did that too. Not every sentence but frequently enough to make it gross. It was usually paired with 👉🏽👈🏽
Most hygienic league of legends player
Oh god, I just read the first one and got the ick. You are a saint for putting up with everything.
That’s a lot of icks!
This literally sounds like my ex.
All I know is, the next girl I date won’t be completely attached to her phone.
Looking at the comments I know we’re all grieving and heartbroken rn, but who did y’all date ?? 🤢 I promise everyone here deserves better 1000%
Right some of this shit is out of pocket 😂. They wouldn’t have even had the chance to break my heart being nasty as they are
I thought I was the only one thinking that 😭
Throughout our relationship, would only show interest in me after I sent something explicit. Otherwise it was the cold shoulder and one word sentences. Not do or even say anything special for my birthday / holidays. He deffo celebrated just not when it came to me. Had the loveliest way of making me feel not in the least special…
Honestly, he sounds like a piece of shit
Oo also she would lose interest as soon as I started talking about something I was passionate about and completely zone out but would expect me to actively listen to her whenever she was telling me something that was of interest to her. I realise now how selfish she was in the relationship.
My ex did the exact same thing.....and gave this as one of the reasons of our breakup lol...that my tastes were too "unorthodox"
My ex did the same. He would go on for hours complaining about his job, or how the world had one out for him, or how he’ll never be a king like in the Roman days 😑, or how he deserved to own more houses (he already owned two). Despite that, I listened wholeheartedly and tried to bring positivity and hope and actually create ideas and plans so we could buy real estate and make these goals a reality. Meanwhile, I’d try to talk about hopeful things or interesting ideas or things I was learning and he would walk out of the room, turn the music up, put the shhh symbol in front of my mouth etc. It was very one-sides in terms of who could emote or talk.
That gave me the yikes.
My ex did this...I would tell him all sorts of things about myself and he never listened. "I didn't know that"-I told you in several conversations! I loved hearing him talk about his past...never even got jealous when he talked about his ex-wife; I'd get sad instead...mainly because she died...
Sext me all week long. You know, to the point that I'm going out of my mind and literally ready to rip his clothes off. Come the weekend, I'm in lingerie for a date night, sent him pic previews of what I was wearing under my clothes to add a little excitement to the evening. Buuuut he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and talked about his ex gf on and off all night. The ex that he supposedly hated/wanted nothing to do with. Told me all about how she was hanging out with mutual friends again and it was annoying bc he didn't really want to spend time with her. Get back to his place and we didn't even cuddle when we put Netflix on. He sat on the freaking opposite side of the couch. I was SO crushed! Went up to his bathroom and started to cry. Only one of many 'icks' though. That shit fucked my heart up though.
Ugh sorry that sounds terrible and like he was dealing with his own feelings. Did it end?
I live to cuddle after sex. Makes me feel loved and appreciated. She used to too but stopped eventually… Anyway, One day after sex I ask to cuddle, and she straight up says,”Nope. I got what I wanted.” Biggest ick I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt more like a piece of meat.
Damn. Who doesnt want cuddles after?
Idk, man. She said it was one or the other then wondered why we didn’t have sex often. Id rather cuddle than have sex tbh.
Well lucky for you, lots of women would agree with you.
Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. But cuddling and feeling secure and safe and loved is way better
The way he lay down like a plank and just played on his phone for hours when I was sat next to him trying to communicate it was like talking to a brick wall. He's got this beautiful girl next to him wanting fun and excitement and I barely got a glance. You can be so lonely when you're right next to someone.
Same here! Like what in the hell!?!?! But here's the kicker! Let me start by saying that I don't have a problem with porn but he would just sit and watch porn. We would be watching TV and he would be on his phone watching porn!? Like it was an episode of law and order?! Then he wouldn't want to have sex?? Someone PLEASE explain!
Guess that’s a serious porn addiction. Shame because if he has a girl who doesn’t mind it that’s 100% watching together and doing something about it!
Ya I was cool with the whole porn thing. I just thought it was weird that he would watch it and then not want to have sex. We would have sex sometimes but not always.
I don’t know maybe he was interested in the production value. Like “what a great cutaway! I just adore the colour grading!”
same but he'd do this after we had sex too. haha getting affection after doing the deed was a RARE occurrence
Wait what?? So he would watch it after? Why are dudes so weird?
yeah. we'd finish and he would roll over and grab his phone immediately. 🙃 fun times. definitely didn't make me feel like I was being used for sex or anything !! :)))
Yupppp I feel this - what’s the point of even having someone there
Right?!!
Had to smoke weed everyday, terrible music taste, was super cold and mean even when I was nice
More often than not, if I felt hurt by him, he’d invalidate my feelings instead of trying to understand them and/or apologizing. If I kept pushing for understanding or an apology, or if I cried because I felt hurt for what he considered too much time, he’d stop talking to me for around a day — because when I was hurt as a result of his words/actions/inactions, he became so frustrated (and possibly even angry?) that he chose to cut communication instead of truly working together to address the issue.
This was my whole relationship as well. He would say something was wrong with me for feeling hurt and that I was ruining our day
So…this isn’t…a healthy response to a partner expressing hurt… I’m trying to remind myself of that
Yes it’s extremely triggering as well - I think for any person. I brought it up as hurtful many times, tried to set a boundary around it, etc. I still don’t get it - do you?
I sort of get it. I think he felt shamed and blamed when I felt hurt by him. He once said the he felt bad when I cried if I was crying bc of him, bc that made him feel like he had to change any given behavior (and he didn’t want to). So me crying was maybe perceived as manipulative and/or something that resulted in him feeling guilt… He didn’t want his gf to feel sad all the time, and he didn’t want to change certain behaviors, and he couldn’t change others, bc changing some wasn’t natural to him. His anger may have been a result of clearly seeing that I wasn’t happy, and knowing that he couldn’t/wouldn’t do much differently? I think in a healthy partnership, there would be enough compatibility so that tears don’t happen once every few weeks, maybe? But i also think a healthy partnership can handle some tears, and that the capacity to apologize and modify some behaviors is important
Mine ex literally told me that I “ruined” living together, ruined vacations together, etc, by expressing that I was upset about something and then crying. Albeit, I cried a lot when there was no resolution, but the fact that there was no resolution and that this resulted in tears doesn’t really mean that I ruined things? We were just…incompatible, my emotions may have been a bit too big, and he may not have had the emotional energy for even minimal emotions…
I’m glad you’re able to see it that way looking back. I still struggle seeing it as an incompatibility. I guess I felt if someone had no emotional capacity whatsoever (aka telling someone they are ruining something for feeling a certain way) maybeeee they couldn’t being in any healthy relationship? It was hard for me to see how else it could work. I tried to silence myself, but then he would call out that I seemed shut down. I’d tried to bring things up and he’d feel defensive or think I was ruining things. I feel it’s impossible to never bring things up - unless they just want to date shut down people who maybe use addictions to cope? 🧐
My relationship also...If I tried to bring anything up, I would be argumentative and hostile...even if I was calmer than lavender...
Mine wasn’t argumentative or hostile — more like, he’d tell me to drop it, or he’s try to comfort me, but if it didn’t work he’d disengage. But neither great…
Yes… That’s the main reason I broke up with my bf. One time I had to beg for an apology after he called me a “fucking moron” during a discussion. I saw that he played video games at midnight with his ex (only 2 weeks after I told him I didn’t want him to talk with his exes) and told him I was angry at him and would tell the reason if he wanted to know why. He said nope and that was it for me I broke up on the spot. I didn’t want to break his heart especially since he is going through tough times but the amount of disrespect was unbelievable. I know it wouldn’t have worked out with someone who refuses to fix his behavior but I was just so attached to him, we were bestfriends before too but now I’m wishing I never met him or that I’d never confessed that day. I just needed to vent so thank you if anyone reads this.
You dumped him so, you did the right thing.
Cheat on me and beg forgiveness. Then dump me a week later to get back with him
cut his toenails in bed regardless of how many times I told him I couldn’t stand it
He had a porn addiction so he had to watch it every day. He always had performance issues and eventually I found out that was why. Eventually he stopped having sex with me altogether because he preferred porn.
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What the fuck
He used to give me his word but never keep them up. Never had any regard for me. Basically was very very disrespectful....in four years never even took me out on a date. A huge lazy piece of shit.
Hanging out w people 15 years younger than him. After the glow wore off I realized he really has no friends his own age
Omg yikes that’s so weird 😭
Communication issues, narcissistic and gaslighting tendencies, cheated with someone of the same name as me, posted lewd photos of me without my knowledge or consent, avoided me for months when I got out of the mental hospital, made me cry on my birthday amongst other times, told me that if given the opportunity he would have sex with someone else and it wouldn’t be considered cheating/disloyal/unfaithful, weaponized my mental health against me Oh I’m sorry you asked for one ick and I went on a rant
jesus fucking christ, I'm so sorry you even had the displeasure of meeting this douchebag
Thank you, I regret ever getting romantically involved with him. I should have kept him as just a friend, I wouldn’t have known this shit otherwise and this shit wouldn’t have happened to me. I know I should have left long ago, but thanks to attachment issues and all sorts of shit. I’m just dumb
You got out though, that's a step in the right direction. We all make mistakes, no need to beat yourself up over them even more than this situation already does. Attachment issues are pretty difficult to deal with, but you got out, and at least you don't have to deal with this dude's bullshit anymore. I'm pretty sure you deserve better. Can only be an improvement for your mental health from here on out, I reckon
Talking about her ex when there was absolutely no reason for him to be brought up. Like at fun events or outings.
Set plans and bail consistently. Prioritise friends over his girlfriend. Talked to other girls behind my back. Didn’t communicate. Left me hanging. Emotionally cold and distant. Fucking moron.
The way she would roll her eyes the moment she knew she’d upset me and I was visibly upset, *blegh*
Constantly sit around playing video games and jacking off. Day in and day out. It was disgusting
Get drunk and piss in the bed
Stank of weed constantly and smoked it all day everyday and I don’t think I ever saw her brush her teeth the whole time we were together oh and she used to sweat profusely so badly I had to throw out a bedsheet from the sweat stains
Didn’t brush his teeth as often as he should. Every time he brushed his teeth around me his gums would bleed. I honestly think he already has periodontitis. Probably not entirely his fault, he wasn’t raised in the best home environment.
I have misophonia - HAAAATE chewing noises. Sometimes he’d unknowingly smack his lips and chew with his mouth open when we were eating together and it would start winding me up and aggravating me. I’d never say anything because I know it’s a “me problem”.
Omg. My ex would get so mad at me when I’d freak out about the chewing. Said all humans do it and he couldn’t help it. I’d try to just be somewhere else when he ate but he’d get upset at that too. His parents were even worse. My ex would at least chew with his mouth closed, but his parents are like fucking cows chomping down on grass. Their mouths almost fully open when they chewed. I refused to be around them when they eat.
Blech. My parents are also gross eaters in their older age, even though they trained me from a really young age to have good table manners. I’m just so used to suppressing my ick that I take time to decompress or eat on my own. My ex honestly didn’t have as bad manners as my mom, but every once in awhile he’d not think about it or whatever and it would just make me feel 🤢
Loved playing video games but only if he was winning. It all of a sudden became boring, or “not that difficult” or he wanted to switch to something else if I was the one actually doing good and not him. He’d get so mad if I just had a natural talent for something bc he’s “the best gamer he knows” always said he wished I was better at games so I was actually competition but then didn’t like if I was actually starting to get good. Ugh fucking frustrating
Had a thing for someone else and insisted she didn’t and immediately got with him days after we broke up and then made me out to be the bad person after we broke up. I made mistakes but damn that sucks
Just had the same thing happen - it’s maddening
* Stuff i wanted and asked her to do with me but she couldn't do it for x reasons. But she'd do the same stuff with her friends on a whim. * Somehow turned every disagreement and issues into something that happened because of me even if i was the one who brought up the issue cause by her. * Lack of communication. * Actions didnt meet her words. * Friends more important than boyfriend.
your ex sounds like the female version of mine
He got married to his ‘friend’ the day Before he moved out of my house.
Holy shit
Yea … therapy is gonna be a thing for quite a while
Cheat on me and then blame me for it
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Did we date the same man? He strung me along for about a year and then said, "Okay, we're going to have a real dating relationship"; we're even going to get a place together. Made fun of and didn't understand my depression and anxiety; failed to understand my chronic health issues and limitations due to it and said those would be issues (because sometimes, my dishes sit in the sink or I leave clothes on the floor or don't put my mail away right away)! I'm the one with issues letting go though...I love him so much yet and it's been 8 months without contact now...And I was the one spending money on him...He had bad problems with money; prevented him from getting evicted once;utilities kept on...new tires..whole bunch of stuff
I learned way too late that he didn't wash his hands after pooping. And he cheated and gave me an std.
Instead of normal kissing, she would stick her tongue out of her mouth and expect me to wiggle my tongue around with hers in the open air. Like, uh, sorry, but can we please just put our lips together? It’s fucking weird.
cries like a child and flirts woth insta girls and gaslights and immature thank you.
Showered every 4 days. Never brushed his teeth. The odor coming from him was awful. Yet when he dumped me who showers daily 3x teeth brushes told me I was physically repulsive.
Called one of my passions an ick to her
What passion, if I may ask?
I became an automotive engineer cuz I love cars and motorcycles and she's known this for years. I was talking to one of my friends about my dream car and I was absolutely gushing over it in that convo. A couple days later she tells me my convo gave her the ick.
Anybody worth a damn loves hearing people talk about their passions.
For real. I never would have even thought of belittling her passions or goals. The worst part about it was that I thought that it was okay for her to say stuff like that. Never again
Picked her nose and eat the snot
Were you dating a 5yr old 🤢🤮that’s disgusting
I just woke up and this comment literally made me throw up, thanks
There was the normal not listening, not willing to have honest conversations, and the fact that she asked around about me at work before we started dating and created a fake persona she thought I’d like. But the one that always sticks in my head: She kept a plastic “poop knife” in the bathroom so she could “cut up big pieces.”
WTF
Went on a boys trip, started talking to a new girl (younger), and came back dumped me
Gaslighting. hits me with "how about this that you did the other day...?", when we having hard conversations.
Was a loud and annoying drunk. Wanted to go to college towns and drink every other weekend. Hes 25
Yell or raise her voice. I understand that this is human nature to express anger. But, that's not how you have a conversation about what you're feeling. At that point, it is an argument. It was the worst. The pressure from her getting angry like this always brought the worst in me and pushed me to respond hastily, which was never a good response.
The way he could look me dead in the eyes while lying
We'd be texting constantly all day every day. I'd always ask questions about how her day was going etc.... Pretty regularly she wouldn't think to reciprocate and ask anything about me or my day at all until 6pm or later.
Would ramble on about the most mundane shit for what felt like hours. One time in particular, she spent a solid 30 minutes complaining about this specific brand of chocolate. I kept thinking to myself "she's already said all this is to say about this topic" but nooooo, she kept going on repeating herself. As someone who loves to talk about theoretical and abstract stuff, it was physically painful to listen to her talk complete trash haha.
Not wash the bottom half of her body
What?!?!? Gross! 🤢
So these weren’t issues before we moved in together, but once moving in became issues. Rarely washes his hands after going to the bathroom (like 1/20 bathroom trips), rarely flushed (even poop half the time), didn’t brush his teeth before bed, refused to wear deodorant 95% of the time (“because it causes cancer”), left the toilet seat up a lot, left his toe nails growing nasty for years, used to only shower 2 times a week, chewed with his mouth open until I’d ask him to stop, after puking he’d flush the toilet but wouldn’t clean up all the puke around the toilet bowl, and put Red Bull cans in the recycling without rinsing out. Also, sometimes when we’d shower together, if I was closer to the drain than him, he’d try to aim at the drain and pee around me. A lot of times without even warning me first. Stupid enough, I legit would still be with this man. However HE chose to break up with me because he got cold feet about proposing, got spooked about marriage and kids. And oh yeah has “infatuations” for a girl he met at a gas station that smiles at him and is polite (because it’s her job, she literally works there). Im just hoping I can move forward, I just hate how screwed over I got. Kicked out of our place, broken up with, no money (he promised to provide for me even though I asked many times if I needed a job), and I’m moving in with my parents in a completely new city. Wish me luck 🍀
Omg the pee thing!!! Same girl - just no
Stonewalling.
Wanted to get intimate with me, but at the same time said he doesn’t know if he has feelings for me (after completely love bombing me in the beginning)
I got the ultimate ick from an ex when he got out of the shower, bent over and toilet paper fell out 😭
Dear Jesus!!!!!
He used to get mad at me for being upset at something he did to me. And he was always late to every date Example: we were supposed to go out to watch a movie, and he said he would get the tickets, and we would go. He showed up 3 hours late and hadn't bought the tickets. Then, he got mad at me when I was reasonably upset. I will add that he didn't even text or call to tell me he was going to be late nor did he give me a reason as to why he was late.
She had what I'd consider unrealistic expectations that forced me away from hobbies and friends I loved. It's only been a week but despite it all I still want her with me
Sounds similar to me. I became very unhappy when I revolved my life around her and stopped doing things I enjoyed to make her happy
I look back at some things she had problems with and I can't help but feel like I could've done more she always said as much as I listened to her interests she felt like I never gave her the same energy and care as when I shared things with her
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Wore socks for a week, used to put them under the bed and hide them from me so I couldn’t get them to put them in the wash. Also would wear boxers for multiple days at a time.
Didn’t wash his hands after peeing, lead me on for a week prior to the breakup, groped another woman
My ex bf rarely brushed his teeth and literally cannot tell he smells of BO. Also “cleaning” himself was an issue. when we first started I kept getting UTIs and I made sure he showered before sex because I literally think I was getting them from him not being able to clean himself.
Was always more concerned with her friends’ happiness and their relationship problems than our own. Dismissive and avoidant of problems that would come up, apologize only to end the discussion without actually resolving any issues and then get mad that I’d still be upset about things saying I was “living in the past and not getting over things”
She always left skid marks in the toilet ... I'd have to ask her to make a splash or clean the fucking toilet . Fuck ! .... I just realized how much I don't miss that ! Edit : Sorry I just realized what a shitty comment I left.
Had more loyalty to friends that were disrespectful of me and our relationship.
couldn’t maintain friends for longer than like 6 months
Didn't wash her butt when she showered
He had very bad fashion sense - like wearing huge scarves in 80F weather in California. I love a good scarf but they were also some really interesting pattern choices. Also, he had very bad communication skills and would close himself off & get cold/distant and not want to work on things instead of just telling me what was bothering him. He said we weren’t on the same page & things were moving too fast, but he could have just told me that and I would have taken things slower if that’s all it really was. He also had performance issues and was not very good in bed. He had erectile dysfunction and then when he’d finally get hard, he’d only last like 2 seconds, rolled over, and then kick me out of bed saying he was tired. Didn’t even want to cuddle and I’d have to force him to at least walk me out to my car.
he acted "cutesy" a lot which i really like but looking back now it just makes me feel gross because of how he was basically sexually abusive 🥴
Ew
Accusing me of stuff I wasn’t doing
Leave used tissue paper all around the apartment and put his used clothing on the couch instead of putting them away in the closet.
She used to eat off the same spoon as her dog , and would go to the gym and lay in the bed in the same clothes she just worked out in
He let his non-black friends say racist micro aggressions about me and body shame me ( my ex is a black man btw) and when I confronted him about it, he lied and said that they were black even though they weren't and that I shouldn't be mad.
Cheated on me countless times over the course of 2.5 years didn’t even know until the end lol
followed girls on instagram that didn't follow him back
So many things he but the worst was probably where he would judged me and made comments whenever I was eating anything and the amount I was eating, letting me know that I should stop eating or eat less or something else by taking it away. He didn’t allow me to eat desserts or anything sweet when I was craving it. Forced me to buy certain expensive brand of protein powder (with my own money.. as a student ). He was super controlling over my workouts (would join me at the gym and push me beyond my limits). Compare me with other girls who were more athletic… I was struggling with an ed at the time and underweight. he was just using that (and many other things like my friendships) to keep control over me. He even tried to stir up my relationship with my mother..
Smoked weed all day every day and had literal tantrums over the littlest things. Like, "I'm going to storm upstairs and hide under the duvet" tantrums.
Play the worst music all the time and would bring a speaker places with us
He would be socially very cringe and made me feel embarrassed
Me dating them
Cheat on me and beg forgiveness. Then dump me a week later to get back with him
She had no capacity for debate. If I ever disagreed with her about almost anything, or said she had a mistaken opinion - instant tears.
Not brush her teeth regularly
Acting like a teenager when he's nearly 30 and made me feel unattractive. Dressed like a grandpa
He wouldn’t brush his hair even though it was curly so he’d have one matte on the back of his head I’d finger comb out, also didn’t wear deodorant consistently either despite working outdoors
The way when we were out on dates she spent more time on Facebook and talking to her best friend instead of talking with me
Gaslight me every time they got the chance.
He would go thru everything I ever wrote and any sd cards he found, and use the information to manipulate me. Also, he would leave garbage around like shed skin :(
He used to smack in between talking, lots of saliva, I couldn't un see it
His buttcrack would show 😒😒
Fuck other guys
huge alcohol consumption
Selfishness. I’d once planned to go see my mother and that day he planned something for us with his friend instead. When I caved (stupidly) he said “good I was going to do this anyway”… it was the first thing that made me question everything. We broke up some months later. A good heart. But a selfish attitude.
Always used to doubt me. Used to think that spam calls are also some guys calling me
Loud chewing, messy eating that can easily be corrected and eating food off the floor he’s just walked on in his outside shoes
Picked his nose. Blatantly. In public. And flicked.the.boogers.
she was too rowdy when drunk and would just scream and shout
He picked his nose and would flick it or stick it wherever he wanted to…in my apartment…RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME then acted confused saying he forgot when I’d freak the fuck out. One time he did it on my pillow and I almost suffocated him with it
i hate loud startling noises. he always used to put things down by throwing them hard. i'd always get upset and tell him to stop. i'd get no reaction from him. i have a feeling he was doing it on purpose.
Used this really unattractive quasi baby voice in bed. I was like pleeeease stooooopppp I'm losing my lady boner.
Very selfish in bed. Always wanted me to touch him but wouldn’t ever want to touch me.
Anytime I would go into the kitchen while he was in there, he rolled his eyes, grunted, and sighed(inconvenienced by me) . I couldn't even get a glass of water. Isolated me socially. Insecure about my sexual past and held it against me for our entire 15yr relationship, even though I was monogamous. Trichotillomania and would eat the root of the hair.
He was convinced every gay man was hitting on him and he needed to "protect himself". He did that by becoming really passive aggressive with them. I physically cringe thinking about it.
Smoked weed 24/7 then always had to spit up fume, god the sound still sticks with me 🤢
He had to be right all the time in casual conversation, and lacked the self-confidence to communicate his feelings about our relationship. He “usually dated older women” but the bedroom game was hypothetical at best.