In real life, when you meet someone, the first thing you to do is introduce yourself: "Hello. I am...what is your name?"
The second thing you do is small talk.
That is 100% me I struggle with my mental energy and sometimes I just might not be ready or might be intimidated or not know what to say. Course for me it's even harder because I'm a lesbian and both of us have the option to message first 😅
I work construction; yesterday my hands were so covered with fire caulk. I didn't even pick up the phone ringing in my pocket. Depending on what I'm working on I routinely and legitimately can't answer my phone for 10 hours at a time.
Yeah… and one in a million people die from a stumble on the side walk. We’re not discussing what’s possible… we’re trying to understand the norm here, and that is, people just don’t care. Dating apps are bad
your logic here is kind of flawed, i work 4 12 hour shifts a week and although i have my phone in my pocket at all times, im not allowed to take my phone out of my pocket and use it due to data protection reasons, and after working a 12 hour shift on a phone line, i don’t want to be getting in from work at between 8:30pm-9:30pm to then sit on my phone at home and make conversation with strangers on the internet. some people do genuinely have no time sometimes, it’s not that dating apps are bad or whatever, some people are just busy.
my girlfriend and i only get to talk tuesday-thursday, most people wouldn’t like that because they think they’re entitled to somebodies attention because they both own phones, but unfortunately that isn’t how life works, people are busy, people are tired, and just because i own a phone it doesn’t mean i need to spend 24 hours of my day on my phone talking to people
In this case, it is clear that the guy cannot make the first move. The girl is supposed to but instead just extended the match. If she never ended up messaging, that is odd.
Between extending the match and unmatching, you would rather she unmatched? She has to message first so if she didn’t want to, she would have just unmatched
I'm the type that just says hey... I don't see what the issue with this is lol I don't expect a man to send me a paragraph when we first start talking... if you were to meet in public you'd probably start with a hey or some sort of greeting
I don’t have a major issue with them just saying “hey” but at least say how are you doing or ask me about my day. But I can’t complain. 90% of my matches don’t even text first or respond, so I’m lucky to get a hey. I’ve been on these garbage apps for 5 years and I’ve never even had a date or anything.
Yea I get it, I just assume the hey would lead to more, sometimes people come across as too intense at first and it can scare people away (guilty on both)
Yeah I usually like to take it slow at first. The conversation never even lasts long enough for me to ask them on a date. But most girls I’ve matched with have told me they enjoy talking to me but yet they still ghost. That’s why I’ll probably be single forever haha. I’m just wasting my time because none of these girls are serious.
I think the idea here is to say something that starts a conversation, like asking a question or making a comment about something on their profile. Saying "hey" doesn't do that, it just passes the buck back to your match which defeats the purpose of this app.
The amount of times I’ve gotten extended and then it expires is more than I can count, I honestly feel like people forget they have to message first, or they’re purposefully doing it
You are over thinking. I don’t think anyone is doing it purposefully. They are just caught up in their world to message. Total not about you at all. All about them.
Which is understandable, but if you’re extending the match I don’t see why you couldn’t send a simple “Hello” to get the ball rolling, literally takes 5 seconds.
I get your logic, but how many posts do we see daily on this sub of people complaining about girls only saying “hello” and even getting passive aggressive or confrontational about it because it’s “low effort”?
That being said, I’ve done this before and this is my reasoning: sometimes I work second shift/overnights and I’ll be scrolling on bumble super early or late. If I match with someone between 12am-5am, I don’t want to message for several reasons (some consider it rude, there’s a connotation that texting after midnight is looking for sex, etc). Sometimes I’ll forget to message during the day, and won’t realize until I get a notification that the match is expiring 24 hrs later. So once again, it’s outside of socially accepted hours but I do want to talk to them, so I extend. Not sure how many others are doing it for similar reasons though, I can only speak for myself 🤷🏻♀️
Maybe instead of x hours, bumble should have an expiration criteria of x number of bumble uses..
That's much better design but will definitely make them less.money so forget about it
True. My previous 8-year marriage started w/ a "thanks" to her "hi". 😊🌹
(Mostly cuz a mutual friend told me abbot her @10a, & her msg came @2p, during a busy ish day)
Seeing as Bumble doesn't make sounds (I think anyway.) --> I'd opt for the "socially unacceptable" route, in case they're also a night owl. 😊🌹
Then again, I beat to my own drum, & as long as I'm not hurting anyone, it's 'ok'. 🥳🌹 Thus, I'm noted as being "Schizotypal" by the psychiatric world.
--> So being the "oddity in social situations" == my primary function. 🤣
[The awesome thing -- I get SSDI just to exist, cuz the World finds me odd enough that it's hard to keep steady employment.🥳💖]
Maybe she thinks she wants to wait till she can sit down and have a chat , idk. She says hello , you say hi back , then you wait 4 hours till she has time to reply ?
Definitely worth weeding out people who exaggerate about the level of insults the entirety of their matches respond with or the short time frame involved. This one guy one time becomes every one somehow.
Lol you really believe her? Most dudes aren’t gonna get mad after 30min of sending a message with no response. She prob was dry af and responding unreasonably after a long time then the guys get annoyed.
I believe she's making a very over-exaggerated claim about something that does happen. No, I do not think it's all her matches, no I don't think it always happens after 30min. Yes, I do think there is a nonzero number. Either way, definitely seems like something to filter out when you can do it so easily.
Yeah , I heard that- I'm a dude and i don't expect to be always available for whoever I'm dating , so I would say the opposite is fair as well. I do see alot of that kind of insane thinking though.
Haha yeah I was having this text convo with this guy, all seemed to be going well…I went through the Chick Fil A drive-thru because my coupon expired that day…by the time I got my nuggets he had unmatched 😂. It was an abrupt ~20 minutes of silence I gave him. He was a 44 year old man. I think I dodged a bullet…I can’t handle that level of insecurity…I don’t want to be controlled by his fears…
I admit, it's definitely better to have a "Brb" or some other indication of "busy", but
--> As you said. Life happens, & sometimes you gotta wait for that 2nd marshmallow. 💖🌹
Or, do like my "Lucky Bumblebee" did --> "Send me your # & I'll text you."
(However, I didn't get a text until the next morning, & within 12-24hrs of that initial Bumble, she & I mutually became 💯 Committed, deleted all dating apps, & sent screenshots for confirmation. This was ~2wks ago. 💖🫠)
Agreed. Been on cloud-9. 😊
Especially cuz she's absolutely gorgeous (makes me think of Daenerys Targaryen, so I call her my "Mother-of-Dragons")
That, & she's been much better for me than my Ex-Wife. Ex-Wife & I were both verbally & emotionally abusive towards one another, so escaping that toxic marriage has been a blessing. 😊🌹)
She’s prob the same person who wouldn’t text you back for 5 days before she had a “busy week”. Some people are just different / have different texting habit.
Could be a number of other reasons.
I mean, you’ve clearly see this and not messaged - why haven’t you initiated?
For all the idiots saying *“dO yOu KnOw hOw bUmBle WoRkS”* here’s a little link for you:
[men can now initiate on bumble](https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/?sh=3d2b74916cad)
This is hilarious 😂 I only got messages from women on bumble because they HAD to make the first move, regardless of who swiped on whom. Now the burden is on men again and the age old race for the catchiest starter returns.
If he pays something like $8 for a credit to purchase a message starter, he can. A bit naive and narcissistic to think men are going to pay that much money to send a message to hundreds of women when they admit they don't respond to most of them.
[men can now initiate on bumble](https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/?sh=3d2b74916cad)
If you think the other person will have free time to commit to an active back and forth messaging session when you finally get around to sending the first message, you're gonna have a bad time.
Yeah, if people would just be as considerate as possible and not play games much of the early (mis)communication would be eased. I'd say just ask to make plans to chat if you want to.
Because she doesn’t want to have a conversation of any kind at that moment.
Her extending it is literally her saying “I’m interested just give me some more time here”.
I swear to god for as much as the ability to send instant messages to one another has been a boon for many aspects of humanity, it is _absolutely_ a downside for dating. People’s desire for instant gratification drives them far too much and it comes off as needy and undesirable. If she saw that you went and complained on the internet about it, I’m sure she would be turned off.
If you want something where you can control the speed of the conversation then use a different dating app. This is still one of the reason why women _like_ using bumble.
From experience, if you don't have the time to sit down and have a full on conversation, you get unmatched or messages like "I guess your too busy to talk" "I'll let you carry on talking to the other guys" "you don't seem interested" etc. I've learnt to try not to start a conversation till I have time to give it time.
Hey! I like your xyz picture. Where were you?
That took ten seconds for me to think about and then type. Probably not even.
Not enough time isn’t really an excuse.
Ok. But I’ve never gotten an intro from a woman on bumble any more complicated than “hey” or “hi”, occasionally with an emoji. You’re out for the evening and can’t text hi? I’m with OP, why take the time to extend the match… it is literally no more effort to say hi.
Right? I put my account on snooze for a week to detox from the app and I found it annoying that any messages that trickled through would expire because I’m not paying to rematch with them. Couldn’t the app wait until I unsnooze my profile to send the matches in?
I’m married and I’m on here for the hilarious stories, but I would personally do that if I didn’t have the time to put in the effort to have a full conversation. I don’t like saying hi if I don’t have the time to sit down and chat for a while. I fell like that’s more rude.
As for the new rule where guys can initiate... I finally just canceled.
What they have done is dumped all the work back on to guys. Now I have to go back to writing dozens upon dozens of personalized, unique intros -- usually based upon a profile that gives me very little to work with.
I hate to sound negative and complain-y. But, I am just burned out of doing that. I have a serious job now... hobbies, other things going on.
It doesn't need to be that hard, but it is. People with value want creative, personalized intros, and I don't have all of that available time to do that grind.
At least when the woman initiated, all she needed to do was say "hello" and that at least was an initial screen for me, guarding against wasting time.
They aren’t interested. They’ll extend and come with a very well thought out message like “hi” or “hey”. So it makes sense that they needed to extend to come up with that.
Honestly if they’re extending they aren’t interested. Go where you’re appreciated wherever that might be.
I recall seeing women’s profiles on bumble indicating that they would not send the first message, making me wonder if they hadn’t read about how the app works.
Ah, didn’t know that, have been off the apps for over a year since I’ve been in a relationship. I feel like that kills their key differentiating factor from the other apps.
That’s dumb. I know guys can message first now but I think putting such a rude statement in a profile is likely to turn off a lot of guys because she sounds like a bitch, correct?
Because they like keeping their options open. If one of their thousand plus matches doesn't pan out, they'll look at you.
Bumble, Tinder, hinge... It's all a game. Or a roller coaster ride. Pick your analogy.
Hell, yes. This has happened to me at least half a dozen times and NONE of them ever reached out. And as many guys have said, when they actually do contact you, you almost always get "Hi" and it rarely gets better after that. My experience on Bumble has been a dumpster fire and a complete waste of time and money.
She’s keeping you as the backup. Think of dudes as a bunch of stuffed animals in one of those claw machine games, you and the other guys in that match list are them. And if or when she’s ready to get the claw out to pull you out then she’ll message you
My experience with those swipe apps is most people don't use them very well.
I understand accidental swipes... I did that too.
But, matching and then not messaging.
Empty profiles
Vague, boring profiles (low effort)
Negative bios
Poor, limiting pictures
Etc etc.
Dating apps would work if people used them correctly.
And they want “Men” to start answering multiple questions for the first introduction, cause “it’s too much effort” on the female side. Waste of time. The app, will make its final tank
You're being put on ice in case whoever she's talking to falls through. You don't think in online dating women don't get the pick of who they fancy? You've been placed in a queue and may never be written to.
Dude, those woman are just extending matches of everyone in their match list because they don't have time to go and look through all the individual profiles. Her messaging you probably didn't even occur to her.
Just "oh, I've got 45 matches. Let's extend them because I don't remember who any of them are."
They extend and they just say the same basic ass HI as other people. Save yourself some hassle and just unmatch or don’t respond when they do send the basic ass text
They probably forget that they're using an app where they have to message first?
(There are some girls that proudly say that the guys should message first in their profile 🤦)
It happens because ladies like your profile or match but want you to make the first move. Most do it to boost their ego so you message them but they never reply. Us men have it easy lol
Because they already had someone piping them down that day, but might be interested tomorrow. Or they might not be. Hard to tell.
No, but on seriousness.,. She’s probably too busy or mentally exhausted to have a conversation, but she is interested and doesn’t want to drop the match.
I think a bunch of girls just don't know they are supposed to text first. I remember matching with one who extended her match and then her first text was "Was waiting for you to text first, but you didn't so here I am." or something like that.
for me personally, as a girl, i’m just too in my head. If i’m not 100% sure about the guy, i’ll let it slide by. For me, i got the dating app because i truly am interested in finding the one, but all the small talk and getting to know the person to reach that point for me is awful, i just avoid it, even though i’m making matches. I usually do match, and am just thinking on it too long. Or i match and just send a gif because i honestly hate small talk and hope the weirdness and openness would just happen right away
i’m also nervous that when i reply or message, that’s automatically me insinuating that im interested, even if i don’t know yet because i haven’t gotten to know them.
I usually spend a few minutes reviewing my likes when I don't have much time. I match and then try and come back to them when with more time. Bumble usually sends me a message if I don't come back in time and just have an hour left. I will go on and send a message and if I'm still busy will just send something and let them choose to unmatch if they don't like the short amount of time. However, the other day I had one about to expire, it messaged me and I was super busy at that moment but i was about to message when I had to put my phone down for whatever I was doing. The match did end up expiring. I can rematch, but I can't access the section the expired matches go to. Fortunately, he rematched 😀
I can do extends and it didn't occur to me to do that.
I will take the other posters advice though and just send a quick message and let them filter themselves out if they don't like that limited time I have to commit to taking at that moment.
It's pretty obvious WHY these women are extending matches instead of messaging you.
They either dont have high interest in you or view it as the mans role to make the first move and message first, or view it beneath them to message a man first or simply want the power that comes with being the person who gets reached out to..... rather than the reacher.
If it were me I'd just let them expire. Bumble is supposed to be a place where women reach out first and if theyre not comfortable reaching out first they should have never signed up in the first place.
something ive consistently found on dating sites is that the women who reach out FIRST to you tend to have noticeably higher interest in you than the ones you've had to reach out to.
if 10 women reach out to you first then you will go on far more dates than if you reached out to 10 random women who you matched with.
It's the same with cold approaching women IRL. ive approached hundreds of women in the street and apart from flaky phone numbers i have not gotten anywhere. but the times i have actually got approached (on the rare occasion by women in the street) and it is several orders of magnitudes easier to get success. I ended up back at one womans appartment, and one girl directly asked me if she could come back to my place
OP, my guess is that you’re male. The male and female experiences are entirely different. In the first week I had over 1,300 men in my inbox. When you’re actually reading through each profile, it takes FOREVER to get through that many. And maybe she saw a few she liked and didn’t want them to get lost in the mix so she matched and now needs to extend. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I did that with pretty much every person. I have a dog, a 55 hr a week job, own my home, and have a social life. Often times 24 hours is not enough.
During covid, I was able to pay for a lifetime subscription for only $84.99. I did it because it was insanely inexpensive. I thought it was an advantageous choice to make it possible to see who liked me first, but I was wrong. I was then overwhelmed with options that I had to sift through and consider all kinds of things such as common interests, proximity, common values, attraction, etc. At that point, it almost becomes a full-time job. I know this sounds like a humble brag, but it definitely isn't. I'd much rather be in a committed relationship than have endless options that generally lead to nowhere.
I don't user bumble anymore, but all that being said, when I did, I often found myself extending matches while I was trying to sus things out to the best of my abilities. However, I usually, at the very least, would message first.
Sadly, I'm not sure of what is available to the paid account holders versus not. So I'm not sure if other people with paid accounts would either, if that makes sense. For instance, I saw someone mention something about replying to a prompt in the woman's profile, which is a feature you have to pay for. But I wonder if there are women out there who, like me, don't know things like that because they paid for a lifetime membership but, unlike me, still never send a first message for whatever dumb reason.
Just a theory.
People have stuff going on in their lives. Also I'm ADHD and autistic so I can get distracted by things too. I'm currently chatting a woman who is also similar to me so it's been amazing not having someone attack me for how I am and vice versa we are beyond supportive and accepting if we forget to reply and then realise we hadn't cus were like I've not heard back. It's an inside running joke with us now. Don't make it so personal. Because it most likely I not.
Because women are largely not assertive despite the feminist narrative. They want men to start the convo always, plan the date, pay for the date, everything that does not entail actual equality.
Best just roll with it and pick up the masculine role and be the initiator, because given the freedom of choice, women will 99% of the time default to the traditional role in dating even if the feminist ideology contradicts it.
Just merely stating this observation and pointing out the paradox will get you downvoted, but that’s what you get for asking for the truth these days.
Ok, disclaimer: I’m speaking for myself personally and only commenting to help men understand. I’m NOT here to argue semantics.
I extend to give myself more time to review my options and choose 1-2. I have a life and it’s not online so 24-48 is not very long in my world. Also, I do try to start the conversation based on something that I read in the profile that interests me but I have to have something to work with. This takes time and is indicative that I am curious to know more and not just doing it for entertainment purposes or to stroke my ego.
I don’t know what 🐝 charges men to extend and am just getting familiar with the site although it seems to change with every 7-60 break I take from it. I’m not into serial dating. I am looking for a long term relationship but I am also very selective about who I share time and energy with. At first the app was like fruit ninja with people, if you swipe too fast you’ll likely get a bomb…or several. This is still true but also I’ve learned to look at it differently because that mindset isn’t conducive to that which I seek.
I actually read, re-read and thoroughly examine profiles before I reach out. The top row of “(potential) matches” is the maybe pile. Out of the maybe pile, 1 or 2 of 24 are selected. Since I spent time and energy writing my profile and ensuring it is well rounded and transparent and as a female, I do, indisputably have more of a plethora of options, it takes longer for me to filter the piss out of the dating pool.
Oddly, I often think of the line in Matthew McConaughey’s speech about happiness “ too many options will make a tyrant of us all” when I am on the app. It is so fitting; yet I try not to be a tyrant but merely narrow down the options by process of elimination. The few men I talk to get more attention than if I just copied and pasted “hi” to all (let’s say) 24 of the “maybe’s”.
Despite my efforts, transparency and selectiveness, there IS a laziness in communication most of the time when I do reach out so “another one bites the dust” and the “maybe pile” is revisited.
Men aren’t as open or articulate in their profiles as women, they rarely READ, re-read or read “into or between the lines” which is probably par for course, our brains are wired differently but at least be interesting, show interest, try to be funny even if you’re not, set yourself apart; same as you’d do if you were in competition with numerous coworkers for a big promotion, genuinely.
Also, I’m more likely to reach out to someone in the “maybe” pile if THEY “extend” the connection because it shows effort and interest or I at least prioritize them over someone else comparable for that reason.
Final note on advice to men on being more successful in online dating:
1.) If all you’re really after is sex, or worse you’re married, keep it real and put it in your profile you want “SOMETHING CASUAL”
2.) Bathroom selfies are a turn off; HUGE turn off if your bathroom counter or background is a filthy mess..gross
3.) I’m personally not impressed by “gym mirror selfies”
4.) Unless you have a REALLY REALLY nice ass, I’m not interested in seeing your backside as you swing a golf club. {That’s great, you have hobbles, but type it under the “interests” section}
5.) Effort is a direct indication of interest.
PS. What is “sex positivity” mean to a man? Is that an interest/hobby? I always swipe left when I see that because it makes no sense to me. Of course sex should be positive and a healthy mind has a healthy perspective and respect for sex but what actually makes it an “interest”? I don’t know why but for introductory purposes, that just makes me cringe every time.
My time is valuable too, already unmatched her but that’s the wrong way to approach these situations. If she really does have other men to message and I gotta take a number and wait for her that’s just not worth my time, I value myself too much to stoop down to that level.
My answer is a joke. Of course, ur time is important. But I see so many women on here about how many matches they have, so majority that is what it is. If ur not important enough to message something, anything. then I'd move on.
I’ve done it a few times when I wanted to talk to the man but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be charming or witty or anything. I wanted to be able to sit down and focus on my message when I had the time.
A man will make the move past extending………so make the move and message these ladies and show some interest instead of just matching and having her do the moves. If she is feeling you she will message back. However place a little effort into the message.
Bumble really hopes you're a sucker to fall into stereotypical 'be the man and pay for a message credit', 100 times over, they'll even give you a slight discount in bulk.
Well, I’m glad I’m a WOMEN and have my man. Thought I would give a little insight on how to be the MAN. As women still need a confident man that can and will make the first move. I can see it’s not you. So carry on being you🥴
If your "MAN" bought a $8 credit to message you first he's a top-tier simp as well as an enabler for your lazy butt to not take the initiative on an app where women were designed originally to take the initiative, and if he didn't then your argument has absolutely zero validity.
Oh you poor boy….. butt hurt are we “SIMP”…….only a boy would let his emotions get all wadded up like a bunch of panties. You seriously have Issues.
Oh yes, one more thing before I go…….My man was not found on Bumble. Thank you for your boyish input though. I’ll make sure I tell my “teenager” how not to act. Good luck finding a date you’ll need it. 😘
You've just exactly proven you have absolutely no idea at all what you're talking about, here and everywhere else.
I'd wish good luck to you and your husband but he'll probably never propose.
LMAO….. and you have for me …..SIMPY…..everything I’ve said is the complete truth about you. I don’t even need to see you and I know who you are. You, my boy, are very insecure individual so good luck but I believe you need to do some inner work on yourself. I’m done with the childish games so when you’re ready to be an adult,……. Let someone else know like your mother or a father figure! Learn how to not “ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE RIGHT” or have the last word when someone states goodbye 👋 GOOD LUCK. 🍀
P.S. i’m already married to the MAN. I can let him know you need some pointers how to deal with women, but I’m pretty sure, he will not waste his time with you. As no woman obviously has and your brain is still growing.
One last time GOOD BYE nice chatting with you ….. I guess Good luck honey 😘
Would be cool (well, next best thing anyway) if that opened up messages from the guy without having to buy an expensive paid opener credit. Then all the things you say might happen, if she responds.
You are getting bookmarked. Happens to a lot of people. Admittedly i have done the same.
I would keep the conversation going just to keep them on deck. It’s not great and i regret wasting their time.
Good on you to recognize and have remorse for past toxic behavior,
but at the same time if I'm given the choice, all things otherwise equal, between someone who tortured insects and other small animals for fun as a child and another who did not, I'm going to choose the latter.
She might have a busy day/schedule and thinks you're worthwhile enough to come up with a better line than hey :)
Thats the rare ones. They still dont reply after extending in my case
In real life, when you meet someone, the first thing you to do is introduce yourself: "Hello. I am...what is your name?" The second thing you do is small talk.
Sir this isn't real life, this is reddit
Lol right. The fricken interwebs here we don’t have rules
>here we don’t have rules *runs around like a wild animal that escaped from the local zoo*
He can't start the conversation because it's bumble. She has to send the first message.
Doesn’t the girl have to message first?
Not anymore. If they have a question, you can respond to it without waiting for her message.
You have to pay for that.
If she's extending, she's probably paying.
Yea
If you’re going to open the app, go to your matches, find someone, and extend that match, then you might as well send an opening message. 🤷🏾♂️
Women…amirite
That is 100% me I struggle with my mental energy and sometimes I just might not be ready or might be intimidated or not know what to say. Course for me it's even harder because I'm a lesbian and both of us have the option to message first 😅
Adreanna needs to make their move
Checkmate. 🌹😊 [Couldn't resist the wordplay]
Ahahhaha no one has a busy schedule has an excuse… people are literally with their phones all day.
I work construction; yesterday my hands were so covered with fire caulk. I didn't even pick up the phone ringing in my pocket. Depending on what I'm working on I routinely and legitimately can't answer my phone for 10 hours at a time.
Yeah… and one in a million people die from a stumble on the side walk. We’re not discussing what’s possible… we’re trying to understand the norm here, and that is, people just don’t care. Dating apps are bad
your logic here is kind of flawed, i work 4 12 hour shifts a week and although i have my phone in my pocket at all times, im not allowed to take my phone out of my pocket and use it due to data protection reasons, and after working a 12 hour shift on a phone line, i don’t want to be getting in from work at between 8:30pm-9:30pm to then sit on my phone at home and make conversation with strangers on the internet. some people do genuinely have no time sometimes, it’s not that dating apps are bad or whatever, some people are just busy. my girlfriend and i only get to talk tuesday-thursday, most people wouldn’t like that because they think they’re entitled to somebodies attention because they both own phones, but unfortunately that isn’t how life works, people are busy, people are tired, and just because i own a phone it doesn’t mean i need to spend 24 hours of my day on my phone talking to people
In the same amount of time she took to log on to the app to do this, she could have googled “bumble opening lines”
In this case, it is clear that the guy cannot make the first move. The girl is supposed to but instead just extended the match. If she never ended up messaging, that is odd.
As i said. Bs. They just like to be cocky...
Not what he asked 🤣🤣
Bs!
Between extending the match and unmatching, you would rather she unmatched? She has to message first so if she didn’t want to, she would have just unmatched
I’m surprised this app isn’t dead yet. I barely get any matches and even when I do they don’t message at all or they just say “hey”.
I'm the type that just says hey... I don't see what the issue with this is lol I don't expect a man to send me a paragraph when we first start talking... if you were to meet in public you'd probably start with a hey or some sort of greeting
I don’t have a major issue with them just saying “hey” but at least say how are you doing or ask me about my day. But I can’t complain. 90% of my matches don’t even text first or respond, so I’m lucky to get a hey. I’ve been on these garbage apps for 5 years and I’ve never even had a date or anything.
Yea I get it, I just assume the hey would lead to more, sometimes people come across as too intense at first and it can scare people away (guilty on both)
Yeah I usually like to take it slow at first. The conversation never even lasts long enough for me to ask them on a date. But most girls I’ve matched with have told me they enjoy talking to me but yet they still ghost. That’s why I’ll probably be single forever haha. I’m just wasting my time because none of these girls are serious.
I think the idea here is to say something that starts a conversation, like asking a question or making a comment about something on their profile. Saying "hey" doesn't do that, it just passes the buck back to your match which defeats the purpose of this app.
“Women have to make the first move🥰” women: “hey”
Same dude and when I do get matches I extend their time and they never even messaged me back. It’s like why match with me
Sometimes we’re out for the evening and not got time to message.
The amount of times I’ve gotten extended and then it expires is more than I can count, I honestly feel like people forget they have to message first, or they’re purposefully doing it
You are over thinking. I don’t think anyone is doing it purposefully. They are just caught up in their world to message. Total not about you at all. All about them.
Or they look at your profile properly and decide you aren’t their type after all.
Which is understandable, but if you’re extending the match I don’t see why you couldn’t send a simple “Hello” to get the ball rolling, literally takes 5 seconds.
I get your logic, but how many posts do we see daily on this sub of people complaining about girls only saying “hello” and even getting passive aggressive or confrontational about it because it’s “low effort”? That being said, I’ve done this before and this is my reasoning: sometimes I work second shift/overnights and I’ll be scrolling on bumble super early or late. If I match with someone between 12am-5am, I don’t want to message for several reasons (some consider it rude, there’s a connotation that texting after midnight is looking for sex, etc). Sometimes I’ll forget to message during the day, and won’t realize until I get a notification that the match is expiring 24 hrs later. So once again, it’s outside of socially accepted hours but I do want to talk to them, so I extend. Not sure how many others are doing it for similar reasons though, I can only speak for myself 🤷🏻♀️
Maybe instead of x hours, bumble should have an expiration criteria of x number of bumble uses.. That's much better design but will definitely make them less.money so forget about it
It doesn’t matter what the message consists of for a lot of people if you’re really attracted to them
True. My previous 8-year marriage started w/ a "thanks" to her "hi". 😊🌹 (Mostly cuz a mutual friend told me abbot her @10a, & her msg came @2p, during a busy ish day)
Not that hard to say you are busy but just saying hi to keep the match from expiring
Seeing as Bumble doesn't make sounds (I think anyway.) --> I'd opt for the "socially unacceptable" route, in case they're also a night owl. 😊🌹 Then again, I beat to my own drum, & as long as I'm not hurting anyone, it's 'ok'. 🥳🌹 Thus, I'm noted as being "Schizotypal" by the psychiatric world. --> So being the "oddity in social situations" == my primary function. 🤣 [The awesome thing -- I get SSDI just to exist, cuz the World finds me odd enough that it's hard to keep steady employment.🥳💖]
Maybe she thinks she wants to wait till she can sit down and have a chat , idk. She says hello , you say hi back , then you wait 4 hours till she has time to reply ?
I wasn’t on Bumble long but on other dating sites the insults start flying if men have been waiting more than 30 mins for a reply.
Honestly maybe worth weeding those dudes out
Definitely worth weeding out people who exaggerate about the level of insults the entirety of their matches respond with or the short time frame involved. This one guy one time becomes every one somehow.
Different kind of weed whacking
Not the only thing they're wacking! 😉 [Apologies. Couldn't resist the wordplay. 🥳🤣)
Lol you really believe her? Most dudes aren’t gonna get mad after 30min of sending a message with no response. She prob was dry af and responding unreasonably after a long time then the guys get annoyed.
I believe she's making a very over-exaggerated claim about something that does happen. No, I do not think it's all her matches, no I don't think it always happens after 30min. Yes, I do think there is a nonzero number. Either way, definitely seems like something to filter out when you can do it so easily.
Yeah , I heard that- I'm a dude and i don't expect to be always available for whoever I'm dating , so I would say the opposite is fair as well. I do see alot of that kind of insane thinking though.
Haha yeah I was having this text convo with this guy, all seemed to be going well…I went through the Chick Fil A drive-thru because my coupon expired that day…by the time I got my nuggets he had unmatched 😂. It was an abrupt ~20 minutes of silence I gave him. He was a 44 year old man. I think I dodged a bullet…I can’t handle that level of insecurity…I don’t want to be controlled by his fears…
I admit, it's definitely better to have a "Brb" or some other indication of "busy", but --> As you said. Life happens, & sometimes you gotta wait for that 2nd marshmallow. 💖🌹
Or, do like my "Lucky Bumblebee" did --> "Send me your # & I'll text you." (However, I didn't get a text until the next morning, & within 12-24hrs of that initial Bumble, she & I mutually became 💯 Committed, deleted all dating apps, & sent screenshots for confirmation. This was ~2wks ago. 💖🫠)
Nice
Agreed. Been on cloud-9. 😊 Especially cuz she's absolutely gorgeous (makes me think of Daenerys Targaryen, so I call her my "Mother-of-Dragons") That, & she's been much better for me than my Ex-Wife. Ex-Wife & I were both verbally & emotionally abusive towards one another, so escaping that toxic marriage has been a blessing. 😊🌹)
She’s prob the same person who wouldn’t text you back for 5 days before she had a “busy week”. Some people are just different / have different texting habit. Could be a number of other reasons. I mean, you’ve clearly see this and not messaged - why haven’t you initiated? For all the idiots saying *“dO yOu KnOw hOw bUmBle WoRkS”* here’s a little link for you: [men can now initiate on bumble](https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/?sh=3d2b74916cad)
This is hilarious 😂 I only got messages from women on bumble because they HAD to make the first move, regardless of who swiped on whom. Now the burden is on men again and the age old race for the catchiest starter returns.
He can't message first and initiate, that's the whole thing with bumble.
If he pays something like $8 for a credit to purchase a message starter, he can. A bit naive and narcissistic to think men are going to pay that much money to send a message to hundreds of women when they admit they don't respond to most of them.
Well do you know how bumble works? Men can’t initiate…..
[men can now initiate on bumble](https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/?sh=3d2b74916cad)
If you think the other person will have free time to commit to an active back and forth messaging session when you finally get around to sending the first message, you're gonna have a bad time.
No response to that? Interesting....
Honestly valid point, neither side can really assume anything about availability of another
Yeah, if people would just be as considerate as possible and not play games much of the early (mis)communication would be eased. I'd say just ask to make plans to chat if you want to.
Because she doesn’t want to have a conversation of any kind at that moment. Her extending it is literally her saying “I’m interested just give me some more time here”. I swear to god for as much as the ability to send instant messages to one another has been a boon for many aspects of humanity, it is _absolutely_ a downside for dating. People’s desire for instant gratification drives them far too much and it comes off as needy and undesirable. If she saw that you went and complained on the internet about it, I’m sure she would be turned off. If you want something where you can control the speed of the conversation then use a different dating app. This is still one of the reason why women _like_ using bumble.
From experience, if you don't have the time to sit down and have a full on conversation, you get unmatched or messages like "I guess your too busy to talk" "I'll let you carry on talking to the other guys" "you don't seem interested" etc. I've learnt to try not to start a conversation till I have time to give it time.
Hey! I like your xyz picture. Where were you? That took ten seconds for me to think about and then type. Probably not even. Not enough time isn’t really an excuse.
"hi, I'm out for the evening/weekend; let's talk soon" job done
Ok. But I’ve never gotten an intro from a woman on bumble any more complicated than “hey” or “hi”, occasionally with an emoji. You’re out for the evening and can’t text hi? I’m with OP, why take the time to extend the match… it is literally no more effort to say hi.
That sounds like an excuse.
You don’t have five seconds to send a message? Be serious
Notes. Copy. Paste.
Busy and can’t give a thoughtful message at the moment
i hate the timer on matches. can’t we just have a match and if i don’t get on that day he’ll still be there tomorrow. like come on.
Right? I put my account on snooze for a week to detox from the app and I found it annoying that any messages that trickled through would expire because I’m not paying to rematch with them. Couldn’t the app wait until I unsnooze my profile to send the matches in?
No FOMO effect of they did that. Who's wagging the dog?
Busy schedule or talking to like 5 other guys🤷♂️
It's hard to find time to message if you've already got 4 other dates with other suiters booked for the day.
Why does it say she extended the match and then it says ‘you gave Andreana more time’
I don’t think many of the women on bumble actually know they have to make the first move
I’m married and I’m on here for the hilarious stories, but I would personally do that if I didn’t have the time to put in the effort to have a full conversation. I don’t like saying hi if I don’t have the time to sit down and chat for a while. I fell like that’s more rude.
I've never had a woman extend a match it's always me.
As for the new rule where guys can initiate... I finally just canceled. What they have done is dumped all the work back on to guys. Now I have to go back to writing dozens upon dozens of personalized, unique intros -- usually based upon a profile that gives me very little to work with. I hate to sound negative and complain-y. But, I am just burned out of doing that. I have a serious job now... hobbies, other things going on. It doesn't need to be that hard, but it is. People with value want creative, personalized intros, and I don't have all of that available time to do that grind. At least when the woman initiated, all she needed to do was say "hello" and that at least was an initial screen for me, guarding against wasting time.
Yes, they have just enabled women to be lazy, like the rest of society these days. Defeats the whole point of the way bumble worked.
If this is true, it's hilarious that none of us know about it, because we've already deleted off the app or just don't care anymore to open it.
To keep you on pause, lol.
Shes got you there to sorta keep you interested when the other guys fall through. It's the equivalent of a waiting room.
They aren’t interested. They’ll extend and come with a very well thought out message like “hi” or “hey”. So it makes sense that they needed to extend to come up with that. Honestly if they’re extending they aren’t interested. Go where you’re appreciated wherever that might be.
Why does anyone do anything on dating apps? Lol
Extensions are a waste of money and time. It just a lazy way to lead you on.
She’s probably not the sharpest crayon in the box
I recall seeing women’s profiles on bumble indicating that they would not send the first message, making me wonder if they hadn’t read about how the app works.
Yeah, although it is different now, since men can message first
I would not be surprised if that kills the app. So glad I met a wonderful lady last fall because online dating is getting worse and worse.
Ah, didn’t know that, have been off the apps for over a year since I’ve been in a relationship. I feel like that kills their key differentiating factor from the other apps.
When did that happen?
That’s dumb. I know guys can message first now but I think putting such a rude statement in a profile is likely to turn off a lot of guys because she sounds like a bitch, correct?
Because they like keeping their options open. If one of their thousand plus matches doesn't pan out, they'll look at you. Bumble, Tinder, hinge... It's all a game. Or a roller coaster ride. Pick your analogy.
Hell, yes. This has happened to me at least half a dozen times and NONE of them ever reached out. And as many guys have said, when they actually do contact you, you almost always get "Hi" and it rarely gets better after that. My experience on Bumble has been a dumpster fire and a complete waste of time and money.
She’s keeping you as the backup. Think of dudes as a bunch of stuffed animals in one of those claw machine games, you and the other guys in that match list are them. And if or when she’s ready to get the claw out to pull you out then she’ll message you
I thought with the new update men could message first
Only if they pay
So the update happened months ago then, I’m talking about the one that happened 3 days ago, I guess everyone on here was lying
She's probably weighing/investigating other options. If they pan out, you get dropped.
Honestly just unmatch her if it seems to be too much trouble
In the past I had girls thank me for extending the match and then never say another word haha.
You are likely her plan B.
She for sure uses Plan B
I’m lucky if I get a match.
My experience with those swipe apps is most people don't use them very well. I understand accidental swipes... I did that too. But, matching and then not messaging. Empty profiles Vague, boring profiles (low effort) Negative bios Poor, limiting pictures Etc etc. Dating apps would work if people used them correctly.
Apparently it's too much work to text first, which is weird coz that's the whole point of bumble 🤷🏾♂️
I’ve never had that they usually just disappear or have that “opening move” cop out that I’m not going to answer
I didn’t even know they had that ability on their end.
u/Fareeday "Why do women" post
These people are going to use a FAQ - not are they violating rules
And they want “Men” to start answering multiple questions for the first introduction, cause “it’s too much effort” on the female side. Waste of time. The app, will make its final tank
If she wanted to talk to you… she would. Don’t believe the lies homie. Ppl make time for what they want. Hope you find your match.
1) They are busy 2) They are on the fence about you
It means Andrea is banged by someone else at the moment and will get back to you soon. 😆 🤣
Because you’re not the first option… or the fifth.
You're being put on ice in case whoever she's talking to falls through. You don't think in online dating women don't get the pick of who they fancy? You've been placed in a queue and may never be written to.
Lol everyone saying communication is key and yet can’t communicate for shit.
Sometimes they out on another date and its going not so good so they save you as the next. ;)
Because that particular person is lazy or a bot. Dating online is lousy.
If SHES extending the time for the message means you message first homie, they are giving you time to message. Am I the only one that's seeing that?
So how do we message first on bumble?
She has to have an opening move set on her profile to message first otherwise you can’t message her.
Wait, can’t men send the first message now?
She is just talking to another dude and is not sure about him or if to start talking to you too.
Dude, those woman are just extending matches of everyone in their match list because they don't have time to go and look through all the individual profiles. Her messaging you probably didn't even occur to her. Just "oh, I've got 45 matches. Let's extend them because I don't remember who any of them are."
They extend and they just say the same basic ass HI as other people. Save yourself some hassle and just unmatch or don’t respond when they do send the basic ass text
What’s a better way to say hi then ?
Entitlement I guess
I unmatched from anyone who doesn’t message.
Insanity. Would take less time to say hi
You get matches?
They probably forget that they're using an app where they have to message first? (There are some girls that proudly say that the guys should message first in their profile 🤦)
They probably think they're giving you a chance to message first 🤭
She working or not sure, calm down mate its a dating app. If people made sense on there then it wouldn’t be a dating app.
It happens because ladies like your profile or match but want you to make the first move. Most do it to boost their ego so you message them but they never reply. Us men have it easy lol
But the guy CAN'T make the first move. That's the whole point of bumble
She has one free extend per day and does not want to waste it?
I used to extend match a girl but she didn't chat with me. lol
Im confused, it says she extended but then it says you gave her more time? Which is it?
You’re in a pool and a potential match when that pool starts to dry up. Not a hard concept. Unmatch and move on.
I will if I know I want to chat with someone but at the moment in time don’t have the time/opportunity.
Because they already had someone piping them down that day, but might be interested tomorrow. Or they might not be. Hard to tell. No, but on seriousness.,. She’s probably too busy or mentally exhausted to have a conversation, but she is interested and doesn’t want to drop the match.
I'd say it's better than when you get notified of a new bee in your hive and then when you go to look they have already unmatched
I think a bunch of girls just don't know they are supposed to text first. I remember matching with one who extended her match and then her first text was "Was waiting for you to text first, but you didn't so here I am." or something like that.
for me personally, as a girl, i’m just too in my head. If i’m not 100% sure about the guy, i’ll let it slide by. For me, i got the dating app because i truly am interested in finding the one, but all the small talk and getting to know the person to reach that point for me is awful, i just avoid it, even though i’m making matches. I usually do match, and am just thinking on it too long. Or i match and just send a gif because i honestly hate small talk and hope the weirdness and openness would just happen right away
i’m also nervous that when i reply or message, that’s automatically me insinuating that im interested, even if i don’t know yet because i haven’t gotten to know them.
I usually spend a few minutes reviewing my likes when I don't have much time. I match and then try and come back to them when with more time. Bumble usually sends me a message if I don't come back in time and just have an hour left. I will go on and send a message and if I'm still busy will just send something and let them choose to unmatch if they don't like the short amount of time. However, the other day I had one about to expire, it messaged me and I was super busy at that moment but i was about to message when I had to put my phone down for whatever I was doing. The match did end up expiring. I can rematch, but I can't access the section the expired matches go to. Fortunately, he rematched 😀 I can do extends and it didn't occur to me to do that. I will take the other posters advice though and just send a quick message and let them filter themselves out if they don't like that limited time I have to commit to taking at that moment.
It could just be something like (oh, he's cute, but let me see if I can find someone better, and I'll save him in case I don't)
It's pretty obvious WHY these women are extending matches instead of messaging you. They either dont have high interest in you or view it as the mans role to make the first move and message first, or view it beneath them to message a man first or simply want the power that comes with being the person who gets reached out to..... rather than the reacher. If it were me I'd just let them expire. Bumble is supposed to be a place where women reach out first and if theyre not comfortable reaching out first they should have never signed up in the first place. something ive consistently found on dating sites is that the women who reach out FIRST to you tend to have noticeably higher interest in you than the ones you've had to reach out to. if 10 women reach out to you first then you will go on far more dates than if you reached out to 10 random women who you matched with. It's the same with cold approaching women IRL. ive approached hundreds of women in the street and apart from flaky phone numbers i have not gotten anywhere. but the times i have actually got approached (on the rare occasion by women in the street) and it is several orders of magnitudes easier to get success. I ended up back at one womans appartment, and one girl directly asked me if she could come back to my place
OP, my guess is that you’re male. The male and female experiences are entirely different. In the first week I had over 1,300 men in my inbox. When you’re actually reading through each profile, it takes FOREVER to get through that many. And maybe she saw a few she liked and didn’t want them to get lost in the mix so she matched and now needs to extend. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I did that with pretty much every person. I have a dog, a 55 hr a week job, own my home, and have a social life. Often times 24 hours is not enough.
She’s banging some dude but knows his turn will be over soon and wants to keep her options open.
During covid, I was able to pay for a lifetime subscription for only $84.99. I did it because it was insanely inexpensive. I thought it was an advantageous choice to make it possible to see who liked me first, but I was wrong. I was then overwhelmed with options that I had to sift through and consider all kinds of things such as common interests, proximity, common values, attraction, etc. At that point, it almost becomes a full-time job. I know this sounds like a humble brag, but it definitely isn't. I'd much rather be in a committed relationship than have endless options that generally lead to nowhere. I don't user bumble anymore, but all that being said, when I did, I often found myself extending matches while I was trying to sus things out to the best of my abilities. However, I usually, at the very least, would message first. Sadly, I'm not sure of what is available to the paid account holders versus not. So I'm not sure if other people with paid accounts would either, if that makes sense. For instance, I saw someone mention something about replying to a prompt in the woman's profile, which is a feature you have to pay for. But I wonder if there are women out there who, like me, don't know things like that because they paid for a lifetime membership but, unlike me, still never send a first message for whatever dumb reason. Just a theory.
In case they're bored by their existing matches
I noticed alot of women don't even know they have to message first
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^s_low_custom: *I noticed alot* *Of women don't even know* *They have to message first* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
People have stuff going on in their lives. Also I'm ADHD and autistic so I can get distracted by things too. I'm currently chatting a woman who is also similar to me so it's been amazing not having someone attack me for how I am and vice versa we are beyond supportive and accepting if we forget to reply and then realise we hadn't cus were like I've not heard back. It's an inside running joke with us now. Don't make it so personal. Because it most likely I not.
ah when i made my bumble account, i didn't know that girls have to make a move first. I did the same when i didn't know.
Me F42 Bumble is hard to figure it out.. I was sending a message and it send me to pay for compliments when I already pay for the $40 membership. 😫
Because women are largely not assertive despite the feminist narrative. They want men to start the convo always, plan the date, pay for the date, everything that does not entail actual equality. Best just roll with it and pick up the masculine role and be the initiator, because given the freedom of choice, women will 99% of the time default to the traditional role in dating even if the feminist ideology contradicts it. Just merely stating this observation and pointing out the paradox will get you downvoted, but that’s what you get for asking for the truth these days.
Offline game is much less competitive than online as many lacks courage and training
Ok, disclaimer: I’m speaking for myself personally and only commenting to help men understand. I’m NOT here to argue semantics. I extend to give myself more time to review my options and choose 1-2. I have a life and it’s not online so 24-48 is not very long in my world. Also, I do try to start the conversation based on something that I read in the profile that interests me but I have to have something to work with. This takes time and is indicative that I am curious to know more and not just doing it for entertainment purposes or to stroke my ego. I don’t know what 🐝 charges men to extend and am just getting familiar with the site although it seems to change with every 7-60 break I take from it. I’m not into serial dating. I am looking for a long term relationship but I am also very selective about who I share time and energy with. At first the app was like fruit ninja with people, if you swipe too fast you’ll likely get a bomb…or several. This is still true but also I’ve learned to look at it differently because that mindset isn’t conducive to that which I seek. I actually read, re-read and thoroughly examine profiles before I reach out. The top row of “(potential) matches” is the maybe pile. Out of the maybe pile, 1 or 2 of 24 are selected. Since I spent time and energy writing my profile and ensuring it is well rounded and transparent and as a female, I do, indisputably have more of a plethora of options, it takes longer for me to filter the piss out of the dating pool. Oddly, I often think of the line in Matthew McConaughey’s speech about happiness “ too many options will make a tyrant of us all” when I am on the app. It is so fitting; yet I try not to be a tyrant but merely narrow down the options by process of elimination. The few men I talk to get more attention than if I just copied and pasted “hi” to all (let’s say) 24 of the “maybe’s”. Despite my efforts, transparency and selectiveness, there IS a laziness in communication most of the time when I do reach out so “another one bites the dust” and the “maybe pile” is revisited. Men aren’t as open or articulate in their profiles as women, they rarely READ, re-read or read “into or between the lines” which is probably par for course, our brains are wired differently but at least be interesting, show interest, try to be funny even if you’re not, set yourself apart; same as you’d do if you were in competition with numerous coworkers for a big promotion, genuinely. Also, I’m more likely to reach out to someone in the “maybe” pile if THEY “extend” the connection because it shows effort and interest or I at least prioritize them over someone else comparable for that reason. Final note on advice to men on being more successful in online dating: 1.) If all you’re really after is sex, or worse you’re married, keep it real and put it in your profile you want “SOMETHING CASUAL” 2.) Bathroom selfies are a turn off; HUGE turn off if your bathroom counter or background is a filthy mess..gross 3.) I’m personally not impressed by “gym mirror selfies” 4.) Unless you have a REALLY REALLY nice ass, I’m not interested in seeing your backside as you swing a golf club. {That’s great, you have hobbles, but type it under the “interests” section} 5.) Effort is a direct indication of interest. PS. What is “sex positivity” mean to a man? Is that an interest/hobby? I always swipe left when I see that because it makes no sense to me. Of course sex should be positive and a healthy mind has a healthy perspective and respect for sex but what actually makes it an “interest”? I don’t know why but for introductory purposes, that just makes me cringe every time.
Give her time. She has 10 other men to message and try to make it work first. Take a number and wait she said 🤣 🤣
My time is valuable too, already unmatched her but that’s the wrong way to approach these situations. If she really does have other men to message and I gotta take a number and wait for her that’s just not worth my time, I value myself too much to stoop down to that level.
My answer is a joke. Of course, ur time is important. But I see so many women on here about how many matches they have, so majority that is what it is. If ur not important enough to message something, anything. then I'd move on.
I’ve done it a few times when I wanted to talk to the man but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be charming or witty or anything. I wanted to be able to sit down and focus on my message when I had the time.
OK. number 1. NOBODY is THAT busy. 2. A lot of people collect matches as a point of pride. 3. don’t appear needy, just delete.
A man will make the move past extending………so make the move and message these ladies and show some interest instead of just matching and having her do the moves. If she is feeling you she will message back. However place a little effort into the message.
Do you know how bumble works?
Nope, I know everyone is saying men/boys can send first. 🤷♀️
Bumble really hopes you're a sucker to fall into stereotypical 'be the man and pay for a message credit', 100 times over, they'll even give you a slight discount in bulk.
Well, I’m glad I’m a WOMEN and have my man. Thought I would give a little insight on how to be the MAN. As women still need a confident man that can and will make the first move. I can see it’s not you. So carry on being you🥴
If your "MAN" bought a $8 credit to message you first he's a top-tier simp as well as an enabler for your lazy butt to not take the initiative on an app where women were designed originally to take the initiative, and if he didn't then your argument has absolutely zero validity.
Oh you poor boy….. butt hurt are we “SIMP”…….only a boy would let his emotions get all wadded up like a bunch of panties. You seriously have Issues. Oh yes, one more thing before I go…….My man was not found on Bumble. Thank you for your boyish input though. I’ll make sure I tell my “teenager” how not to act. Good luck finding a date you’ll need it. 😘
You've just exactly proven you have absolutely no idea at all what you're talking about, here and everywhere else. I'd wish good luck to you and your husband but he'll probably never propose.
LMAO….. and you have for me …..SIMPY…..everything I’ve said is the complete truth about you. I don’t even need to see you and I know who you are. You, my boy, are very insecure individual so good luck but I believe you need to do some inner work on yourself. I’m done with the childish games so when you’re ready to be an adult,……. Let someone else know like your mother or a father figure! Learn how to not “ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE RIGHT” or have the last word when someone states goodbye 👋 GOOD LUCK. 🍀 P.S. i’m already married to the MAN. I can let him know you need some pointers how to deal with women, but I’m pretty sure, he will not waste his time with you. As no woman obviously has and your brain is still growing. One last time GOOD BYE nice chatting with you ….. I guess Good luck honey 😘
She likes your profile but wants you to send the first message, maybe, idk just ask. People usually will tell you why they do they’ll things they do.
Would be cool (well, next best thing anyway) if that opened up messages from the guy without having to buy an expensive paid opener credit. Then all the things you say might happen, if she responds.
You are getting bookmarked. Happens to a lot of people. Admittedly i have done the same. I would keep the conversation going just to keep them on deck. It’s not great and i regret wasting their time.
You’re scum
Good on you to recognize and have remorse for past toxic behavior, but at the same time if I'm given the choice, all things otherwise equal, between someone who tortured insects and other small animals for fun as a child and another who did not, I'm going to choose the latter.
Maybe she thinks by extending the match you can reply first ? 🤔
How's that? It's bumble right?