Idk why people think this sub is psychic. Could be literally anything on the planet making this difficult for her, without some extra context it's a complete shot in the dark.
I mean sure but the people on the apps are just seeing her profile and that's it. If she's not having any or is having very little interaction it's because of that. She could be screwing it up with talking to people but from what she said it doesn't sound like she's been getting to that stage.
Eh the profile reviews can be sorta helpful. Most guys on these subs seem pretty defeated though š It's really ain't as bad out there as this sub makes it seem.
She should post her profile and some examples of the profiles she likes in potential partners for just sex and just proper relationship and be honest about that selection share. There's likely a mismatch in expectations which is prevalent in current dating. e.g. she could be putting in the relationship zone guys who end up only wanting sex with her and she could be 'lowering her expectations' to guys she would only have sex with but they are looking for relationships with her or just not interested in her sexual vibe... It's the 'reacher settler' problem.
I donāt like to be too exposed. So hereās some information about me. 5ā8, not fat but not fit, very active person (both outdoor and indoor), have part-time job cuz Iām studying at the same time. There were boys like me and we hung out together, but I wasnāt very want to be in any relationship or have sex. Now Iām just alone in a foreign country. Iām looking for someone can get contact longer than ons. I want man higher than 5ā8, active, educated, healthy, donāt have bad habits, have decent life. Thatās all.
Try
https://keeper.ai/tools/calculator
And then remember you're in a foreign country where you might well be less attractive for cultural reasons.
Height requirement also depends a lot on what country you're in and their average height. That's quite an extensive list of requirements, and you will probably have to compromise on some of them or be searching for a long time
The calculator is horse manure.š¤£š¤£ I entered ages 42 to 70, white , does not want kids, not married and 5 5" for the height as my only parameters. It came up 1.7. š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
You will have to show your profile to get any sort of meaningful help. Im assuming you are letting people know that you are looking for something casual?
I donāt mind casual or serious, I just donāt know what happens. I refused some boys in my early 20s. Iām 5ā8, not fat, Asian, love being active outdoors, if you want to know
Oh so you are open to anything. the app asks you what you are searching for..Did you answer this?
If you dont have a general goal and just want anything, I would put "open to anything" in the profile since you cant choose 2 "searching for" tags.
But whats the problem? No matches?
I think you shouldn't look that much on apps, but go outside and try to meet people doing different kinds of activities. The connections you made on apps are always somewhat artificial and often stay like that for some time. I had waaay more luck in real life. I go out with my friends, but bars and clubs are often not the right place, unless you're for example in a bar where always the same nice people are. Otherwise I went to a community garden where I met always the same people on Sunday, I volunteered a bit.
I think it's possible that dating apps are just not the right option for you.
"intimacy without commitment" and "Fun, casual dates" would be your options unless you want serious then "long term relationship" + "fun, casual dates"
Honestly at this point if you have a pulse, are human (some flexibility here of course), female and are between the ages of 18 and 30 I'm open to it. I get 0 matches
So you said in another post you are getting tons of likes and having sex but they arenāt sticking around. Sounds like you are picking the wrong guys.
Even short term romance wouldn't work like that.
There should be a build up and hang out together multiple times before even considering it.
Of course, most who are desperate would go for it and those who aren't fussed would take it and assume that it is a one off then disappear.
The issue is the lack of clear communication.
Finding a FWB guy is easy, but finding one you are attracted to might be harder if you are picky hyper select. Better to make friends in real life on Bumbke BFF or local events and then do FWB with one if them.
Beyond anything about your profile or dating apps, this is going to be hard because you haven't had a serious relationship before, you've moved around a lot, and you're feeling lonely in a foreign country. Basically, you're starting from zero, so I'd recommend you focus primarily on just finding friendly people and activities in your current location. If you happen to find someone you want to date along the way, great! But either way that network will help you feel more fulfilled and confident to put yourself out there in a new relationship, and give you more balance so you don't have to rely on your eventual boyfriend for everything.
In my opinion, this isn't a r/Bumble question; if you need advice, I'd look for something about building community or finding friends in r/relationships or r/expats. eg [https://www.reddit.com/r/expats/comments/15h0c10/moving\_to\_another\_country\_alone\_first\_time/](https://www.reddit.com/r/expats/comments/15h0c10/moving_to_another_country_alone_first_time/)
I have friends in here. But I donāt want to ruining our friendship by getting something else. as you know friendship probably goes longer than romantic relationship.
OP deleted, but for anyone reading this in the future... hug your friends. Physical touch doesn't have to be romantic or sexual. Don't make yourself lonely living in a bubble.
IMO you can also still be friends after dating if you're not a jerk, but opinions vary.
Being born ugly/deformed is a thing. Having your face mauled a child is a thing. If you don't have a good looking face, it doesn't matter what skills you have. Looks are what allow you to even partake. Skills only come into play if you aren't hideous.
Eh, ugly girls definitely strike out a lot and donāt get hit on much at bars unless theyāre the only girls there. Being an ugly girl is worse than being an ugly guy tbh
That because itās Australia, you are either in a large circle of friends who will introduce you or in competition with other rich beautiful asians who are aiming for the bottom to get residency.
You donāt want to be racing for the bottom, those men took themselves out once they know they cant chained you with residency bait. I suggest spending that money on access to places that need money to enter, like expensive gym, classes, gatherings to make friends.
What industry do you work in? Iād say make good friends with guys, make sure theyāre decent people, and then something may develop from there (fwb or relationship)
Oh and tinder seems pretty easy to find this??
If youāre moving around a lot that could be an issue. Living abroad is another issue. Are you living around people you want to make into a husband?also you are older for the online dating market. The prime that guys are trying to match with is 22-26 so keep that in mind. 28 puts you at around 30 get married which is completely fine as well.
Not sure, I'd consider it myself as I have a preference for gingers and there's 0% chance I will meet an Asian who is naturally ginger. (Although I do have some copper brown hair)
So yes, it could be seen as "exotic" but not a deal-breaker as if they are boring, I don't care about their looks.
I've matched with two Asian women over the years. One was dry af and the other was overly obsessed with bitcoin. She seemed to have a lot of money tho. Both were travellers from China. Texting with them fizzled out after a couple days...I couldn't get them to meet
How long have you been on the apps? How many dates? Do you get to a second date, or are you finding potential partners don't ask for a second date? I agree posting your profile would help. How you communicate is also incredibly important. You could match with someone who seems compatible but if you're not conversing with them in an engaging way, that match won't go anywhere.
I read some of your other thread about the guy who canceled last minute and maybe you are doing or sayin something thatās turning guys off? Your response to him canceling, I get, while at the same time if I were that guy Iād prolly leave you on read too- you sound kinda intense and personally Iāve had enough of that
I canāt figure it out either.. back in my day 7-8 years ago you could just go live with an account (in any city) and match with someone and go hookup..real quick, no instagram checks or text games.. I am objectively better looking now and it is much more difficult to get laid these days
Asian people say they want sex but then have an interview session on oneās career , education and money!!! That is why it is hard for you to find someone for sex. It comes across judgmental to many men.
Truthfully, I imagine it's because you like most women, don't initiate anything. Just sit there and expect a guy to message first, invite, lead, etc...
It is probably not difficult if you're patient but if you want it on demand at your convenience than you may have to push a few buttons yourself to make things happen.
Also, the other factor is the lack of interest in your tone. Personally, when I sense it I have no desire to continue talking to someone who thinks I'm replaceable or just like anyone else.
Oh my god, I can write books about fwb..
Basically, a lot of people can't handle the balance between "only friendship" and "full blown relationship".
Many fall in love after a few weeks, which can be fine if both feel the way. Also, some people only want to have sex like three times or so and they don't feel it anymore after that time... But I get the feeling that people want more and more: Either a ONS or a marriage, haha...
I think many of the long term fwb and loose relationship start randomly, people don't find it so easily on apps maybe??
I wrote about this in another comment. You just need to change your activities outside the house I guess... I met many men that were friends of my friends, I also organised meeting for expats and travelers, a few couples met on those meetings.
Ok, hereās the thing Op, there are lots of men in your life that would love to date you, be your BF, and definitely would be happy being your FWB.
Iād say 90% of men would agree with my statement above. So the men are out there.
The question is, āwhy are they invisible to you?ā
The most likely answer is ā¦.you consider them less than desirable/not attractive enough for you.
You may have an inflated sense of your attractiveness/sexual market value.
It is really not that easy to find a nice fwb, if you look for somebody for more than two months. Or is that common were you live? I hardly experience it and also hardly see it. To me it seems rather hard to find such a person.
Iām a guy and Iāve never had a problem getting an FWB.
I donāt mean to be rude but if youāre a woman and you canāt find a dude to shag you on the regular you are doing something wrong.
Eeehh... I do have a fwb for 2,5 years already. But before I met him I didn't have one for a long time.
It was always really hard for me and I don't understand why you think it's easy.
It's either that we're both no longer interested anymore after a few weeks or one of us has a crush on the other person.
Also, when you write "shags you on a regular basis" I think you mean more of a pretty superficial thing where people just meet for sex, maybe for a beer in a bar, but not a lot more, but that's not what I meant.
I have much affection for all my FWBās, but at the end of the day there is a reason we are NOT in a relationship.
Youāve had one for 2.5 yearsā¦.how hard was it to find one before?
I had an fwb when I was between 19 and 21 years old and I became single again 8 years ago.
I traveled and moved around a little bit which didn't help.
But basically, I didn't have what I looked for in all those years. It was sometimes kind of close, but it was not what I have now or what I had when I was 20.
I also didn't really look for it actively (well most of the time I didn't). And when I was involved in something else I also didn't look for it. But basically we can say that yeah, for five to six years I didn't manage to find that. I can imagine that my expectations about this are also higher than yours.
But I also seriously don't know anybody who has what I have now.
Thatās wonderful!
And itās not a relationship, why?
And does it inhibit your ability to find a long term relationship with someone?
I assume you are obviously dating other people too.
So, the thing is that I left the country and now I live basically between the city we met and his hometown, but closer to his hometown, where he is only seldomly. So, for 1,5 years we don't meet that often anymore, but talk a lot. And in this way it doesn't interfere that much with finding a longterm relationship, no. I guess, I would be a bit more motivated if I had less sex, but yeah, I still go on dates and just had two dates with one man.
I am not in a relationship with my fwb, because, to be honest I think he doesn't see me as that super attractive and another very important reason is that he considers having children, while I see myself as already too old for it. Fortunately, I am not that much attached to him, so it works well this way. I think we are good to each other, so I would be fine if things stayed like they are for a bit longer, but of course I wish him to find a girl friend one day, too.
How about you?
I am in a relationship currently, so no FWBs for me right now.
But the ones Iāve had in the past, the best ones were where we were good friends who cared about each other, had great sex, but we also knew we were not the ones for one another long term.
We could hang out in the post sex cuddle and talk about our dates with others open and honestly. It was pretty great!
One of the reasons that one in particular worked so well is that there was no imbalance, we both knew what it was.
I have had FWBs who wanted more. Unfortunately they lacked the insight you clearly have. Sometimes it was confusing why they couldnāt see it and they would think it was something else
Yeah and I think that's the reason why there are so few long fwbs. People lack that insight, they get caught up in their feelings and tried to change things when there was no point in trying to build a relationship.
But nice that you were so lucky in the past and now even have a relationship! I have to say I am somewhat afraid to find a new fwb once this one ends and I guess it will end in a year or earlier when my fwb finishes his PHD, that's somehow my feeling... It was always hard for me to find somebody and I think it won't change. It must also be something about me.
Wellā¦i think you know the answer to that question with your post.
And it might not be YOUR standards, but theirs. Men get to have standards too. And maybe you think the guys who are on your level simply arenāt.
That saidā¦.if youāre just looking to hook up, you should NOT be having this much trouble.
Are you really just looking for some physical touch/hook up?
The apps are full of horny dudes. DO NOT say youāre looking for that (youāll break the internet or they will think youāre a scammer.) instead just post a profile and swipe away!
You're joking, right?
You know that you can be extremely far from the beauty standards, have yellow teeth, stink, have dirty, old ugly clothes, be fat and old and still find men for sex?
I mean the same is true the other way around. There is always someone ugly enough to have sex with, man or woman. She's not attractive enough for sex *for the men she's swiping on*. Also she would like a FWB, which is a taller order because you have to rely on the man coming back for repeated sessions. A lot of my friends get bored after 1-2 times with a woman and cut her off. Usually I like longer strings of casual because I don't have to wear a rubber and there's familiarity.
Well, that's a whole different story than just writing "not attractive enough for sex", lol.
But yeah, I often wonder about men that say they find nobody. Like, yes, obviously it is easier for women to find a guy that is alright and looks alright for sex. For men it's like that, if they accepted a woman that was less alright and looked less alright... Yeah, I think many of them would also find them if they just lowered their standards... Not all of them, because there are seriously men that are so bad with their social skills and stuff they would literally never get anybody, but I also think that there is quite a number of men that would eventually find a woman if they lowered their standards.
Why do you think your friends get bored? Maybe that could help here.
Or, which women do you choose "for longer"?
I've done some life coaching for some of my younger friends in their 20s, to specifically target older women so they can save money in preparation for going overseas in their early 30s. HOMY: Hookup Older Marry Younger. Unfortunately they haven't taken all my advice to heart. They are preferring "pump and dump" situations rather than taking my advice of having long lasting FWBs/situationships with these women. I personally think it's a waste of time and resources, but I think these friends want to rack up numbers rather than going for quality casual connections.
I am now sitting here and laughing, because my fwb is 12 years younger than me. One day he met a friend of mine and stated: Actually, there are also women that are older than 40 and still look good...
But what do you mean with: save money in preparation for going overseas? Is that a saying?
Sure. When a man is in his 20s, he is building himself up for his future wife. That wife won't be found in the West most likely, so he has to plan appropriate to build his physical/mental/emotional/financial well being. This means eschewing traditional dating with women his own age, head down, focused on his long term goals, while simultaneously connecting with low maintenance older women. These women, in my experience and I instruct these men likewise, will not expect traditional courting or any money having to be spent on them. The relationship is transactional. In my 20s, the cougar will often cook for me, let me stay over, mentor me in the art of pleasuring a woman, and most importantly allowing me to focus on my long term goals. She makes my life easier in exchange for great sex and a decent companion for an hour or two afterwards. These men when they reach 30-35 retire from dating older women and begin their search overseas for their traditional bride. It's important to NEVER get into a committed relationship or fall in love with these women.
I've done a simple analysis and men not dating in their 20s and only establishing long term FWBs with cougars save over $250,000 towards their estate assuming 8% annualized gains and $500/month saved.
Oh gosh, you made a science from this! No wonder you trained to life coach your friends... I found my ex when he was 28, but I didn't realise that he still didn't know what he wants for his life and from our relationship. If I was young again, I would definitely wait longer to choose a serious longterm relationship.
Melbourne is full of wankers if you ask me, this would be part of your problem.
Even so FWB should be easy to find. Hell, a blank profile will still get likes if you are female.
Try west coast once you're done with the twangy east coasters.
I am not familiar with the app, but would think you could put some code word or fwb in your bio. When I was single, if someone would have asked me to be a fwb, I would have been open to it
So, I am not the OP, but one big problem that I personally have is, that my ideal goal would be a serious relationship, but since I am a long term single and the idea to find a relationship is not realistic. It's just that writing: open to anything or stuff like that seems to turn off a lot of people.
And then, many people try anyway to turn things into something sexual if they can't see a relationship with somebody but are sexually attracted to them.
If I look for something casual, I just match with the men that state that they want something casual, that's it.
Its the same for me(30) honestly im a latin dude, using this garbage apps cause im kinda shy/introverted, and everything i see on a lot of them, is ppl just looking for one night stands, not in to that shit, so resigned(?) to be alone forever š¤£
Wow, that is something. I mean,I can see that this ONS thing gets more and more popular, but only ONS???
That makes me feel married although I only have an fwb, lol.
Yeah, well actually OP is a perfect example that an fwb could be something completely different and I also have my fwb for 2,5 years already.
When you're not able to have a full on relationship, you go for a long term fwb if you're able to find one, because it's basically impossible to find someone for long.
I don't understand what you meant with the stuff you wrote after the first sentence. A person that looks for a fwb could be just as well fine with an ONS? Well, I try to avoid ONS and hardly have them, maybe basically will never have one again. If I would seriously look for a fwb I would never be fine with an ONS and mostly wait anyway some longer time until I have sex with somebody.
It sounds like you picked your professional life over your personal/love life.
Your availability sounds like the biggest obstacle.
Boyfriends tend to require more time than a FWB and youāre already really busy with school, work and travel!
If you only want a FWB you should probably look for someone during your travelsā¦.
(If you arenāt traveling for work!)
Sounds like you need to do an assessment of how other Asian women are fairing and maybe to learn some of their habits or behaviors.
Maybe Tinder/Hinge is the way to go for something more casual.
Otherwise youāre going to need to be more social within your school circle.
If nothing else you may be able to build a network for after graduation.
I think, look for people around you instead of online world. Start talking to work people like in Cafeteria, public places, etc. Ask your friends for help. Donāt judge people based on anything.
Maybe good people are around you but couldnāt able to talk to you bcoz you are busy with your work.
Are you on dating sites ? you are dating in a foreign country were you are not ā ethnicallyā the same , maybe guys are interested in you but intimidated by the idea of approaching a girl who they donāt know if they can communicate with . Seen it
So sorry to hear this sweetie.
Dating becomes much more difficult after high school & college because your social life begins to dye down. Honestly, itās best to establish a great career & a great social life before you establish a relationship with a man/woman. No man will want to date an extremely desperate girl!
And youāre not the only one; itās been hard for men & women EVERYWHERE.
Maybe u need to talk to some people like for me it's very difficult and hard to meet or talk with women or people. So if u ever need someone to talk to am here to help u.
Because as a wise man once said. Its hard to distinguish the real woman from the 'hoes these days'.
And for women it's too hard to distinguish the money from the human being.
This will get lots of hate. But it's facts. The modern age of dating is a toxic, confusing, battleground of all round selfishness.
The question you ask, why is it hard to find a boyfriend or friends with benefits underscores today's problem, nobody knows what the fuck they want. Except money.
Itās either you donāt have a good enough personality to match your looks or you just arenāt your typeās type.
Just Avoid any conclusions that rob you of the responsibility for the situation you are in.
If youāre not getting any luck having sex, like just sex, itās definitely something with your profile. āHey I have a pulse and want you to fuck me so itāll go fasterā should suffice in most cases.
At the risk of drawing hate, I will tell you what draws my attention in a profile. With the disclaimer that Iām an older guy and probably not in the age range the OP is looking for her partners. This is all drawn from my online dating apps with Asian women. This would be much easier if I could actually see the profile, but I can understand not wanting to post it.
First, you need to have a couple pictures. Preferably at least one head shot where you are looking in the camera and a body shot. Yes itās shallow, but the first thing to draw anyoneās attention is going to be the photo. When I say a couple photos, that doesnāt mean an entire album, more canāt hurt though.
Second, Now youāve succeeded with round one, because I have clicked to open your profile rather than scrolling by. You need to put some thought into your biography. Yes it sucks having to do one, but this is extremely important. Red flags to me are, no biography, just info to contact them outside the app, and a just a single sentence. On dating apps, I have found, particularly with Asian women, if the biography red flags are present than the woman is either wanting a green card, money, to sell webcam videos, or engage in some sort of fraud (or a combination of them). You donāt need to write a novel, but you need to put a little about yourself. A few of your interests or hobbies for example. If my interest isnāt drawn or there are red flags, Iām not contacting or responding to your contact, unless your contact text cancels the red flag.
Third, contact texting. Donāt be afraid or hesitant to initiate contact. Be prepared to engage in a conversation. Donāt make me try to carry it the whole time. The whole purpose of this is to build a rapport, so that we think it is worth meeting in real life. Iām not sure if itās a cultural thing, but I have had Asian women talk about how I have to work to earn their trust, then within two minutes is planning our marriage and future children. That kind of shift signals crazy that I donāt need in my life.
The important thing to understand is that if all you are hoping to find someone to build a long term relationship with, there has to be more than physical attraction. You have to build a friendship first, than it can develop into more. Iām probably leaving something out, but hopefully this will give a better idea of what men are looking for.
May I suggest trying to be upfront about your intentions. Tell them you're interested in a FWB arrangement and explain that you are placing interest on the friend part as much as the benefits.
Go out on dates and see if you have a good time and if there is enough chemistry for a friendship. And if that factor is there then try out the sex.
Same here.
Im doing my PhD in a foreign country.
I find that foreigners thinki short term, and therefore it is hard to be on the same level.
I qouldnt worry about your body type, but maybe the way your profile is written?
Sometimes you have to look into the void to find the strength inside of yourself. Love comes from within and radiates outward to others. Be kind to yourself, both in mind and body. As you become more comfortable with the human being that you are, you wont give a fuck anymore about being lonely. You'll just be loving life. And love and sex will fall at your feet.
Ideally thats how its supposed to go anyway I think.
You might be unattractive to people in foreign cultures because currently Iām facing with the same thing. Normally, whether using bumble or not I can make contact easily in my home country although Iām an average person.
If youāre even moderately attractive as a female it shouldnāt be hard to find a guy whoās interested in hooking up. Problem is finding a guy who you actually want to hook up with that isnāt a giant selfish douche about it
They wanted someone who is in serious but also wants to have sex more than once which I think is just such an odd philosophy. Iāve heard women say this so what is it is it if it happens for three weeks itās OK if it happens for a month like where is the cut off line?
Iāll keep it real with you. You might be unattractive. Either that or itās where you are. I could be entirely wrong, but I feel like FWB is just more common in the US than it is anywhere else. Itās significantly easier for a woman to find a fwb than men. Then that leaves the relationship part. Are you going out? I also feel like less people use these apps outside the US. But then also, people like to be with their own (usually), and thereās this notion that foreigners hate Americans.
But back to my original point. Respectfully, you may be unattractive (to them)
For what it's worth my last relationship of almost a decade ended badly with her cheating on me it's been 4 years and I'm finally giving in to my needs as a man until now I wasn't wanting to to be with anyone it now I really am craving a woman's touch or at least romantic attention I would definitely be interested in at least having a meaningful conversation with you from time to time and being good friends and honesty growing into something more but I'm 41 so don't know how you feel about that but I seen your post and figured I'd shoot my shot I hope you the best of luck and hopefully I hear back from you if not I totally understand and hope you have a wonderful day thanks
Youāre probably very picky and want one of those chads or fboys all the women want. Why brag you get lots of matches and dates and sex but canāt find what you really want. I have had sex once in 3 months and Iām trying to put myself out there but alot of women are picky as hell and go for the same type of f boy who gets all the action and situations. Sounds like youāre not that attractive to get who you really want and you need to settle for whoever at this point.
Buy a hooker then. Or a gigolo..whatever it's called. This is why dating aps suck and Bumble used to be better, because people wanted more than just another empty relationship.
Don't use my first suggestions please. I was just being sour and I really hate the predicament that you think that you are in. Maybe you just want attention, I suppose that's not too bad...But becareful where your play and curiosity lead you.
Excellent troll post if that's what it is btw. Whew, what a ride. š¤£š
Without the intention of spreading hate, nut it seems like your just not looking good enough to be considered for a bf or fwd or even ons. Work on yourself if your too thin or fat.
It could be any number of things. Post your profile and people can give better feedback.
Idk why people think this sub is psychic. Could be literally anything on the planet making this difficult for her, without some extra context it's a complete shot in the dark.
Yeah it cracks me up too. Especially here, it's like the bland leading the blind.
>bland leading the blind. I mean, won't worry too much since the bland don't do anything exciting that could endanger the blind.
Oh you say that now.... I've seen some teeeeerrible advice and kudos given for effortless profiles in this sub.
I mean sure but the people on the apps are just seeing her profile and that's it. If she's not having any or is having very little interaction it's because of that. She could be screwing it up with talking to people but from what she said it doesn't sound like she's been getting to that stage.
True, but she hasn't even shown her profile, so even at that level we have no clue what it could be
I don't know why people come to any dating subreddit for advice at all.
Eh the profile reviews can be sorta helpful. Most guys on these subs seem pretty defeated though š It's really ain't as bad out there as this sub makes it seem.
She should post her profile and some examples of the profiles she likes in potential partners for just sex and just proper relationship and be honest about that selection share. There's likely a mismatch in expectations which is prevalent in current dating. e.g. she could be putting in the relationship zone guys who end up only wanting sex with her and she could be 'lowering her expectations' to guys she would only have sex with but they are looking for relationships with her or just not interested in her sexual vibe... It's the 'reacher settler' problem.
I donāt like to be too exposed. So hereās some information about me. 5ā8, not fat but not fit, very active person (both outdoor and indoor), have part-time job cuz Iām studying at the same time. There were boys like me and we hung out together, but I wasnāt very want to be in any relationship or have sex. Now Iām just alone in a foreign country. Iām looking for someone can get contact longer than ons. I want man higher than 5ā8, active, educated, healthy, donāt have bad habits, have decent life. Thatās all.
Try https://keeper.ai/tools/calculator And then remember you're in a foreign country where you might well be less attractive for cultural reasons. Height requirement also depends a lot on what country you're in and their average height. That's quite an extensive list of requirements, and you will probably have to compromise on some of them or be searching for a long time
Wow, Iād never heard of this calculator. I donāt consider my standards very high but it calculated a rate of .5% of men meeting it!
It's wrong. Lower your requirements to practically nothing like I did and it still comes up like a lottery hit.
That is very common and part of the ever increasing standards problem that stems, in my opinion, from the illusion of unlimited choice
The calculator is horse manure.š¤£š¤£ I entered ages 42 to 70, white , does not want kids, not married and 5 5" for the height as my only parameters. It came up 1.7. š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
"Does not want kids" may be doing quite a number on that.
You think the majority of 42 to 70 years old want children?
42 year old men? Probably. 50-onward? Less likely, but I'm also not sure how many of them aren't married.
Best reply
You will have to show your profile to get any sort of meaningful help. Im assuming you are letting people know that you are looking for something casual?
I donāt mind casual or serious, I just donāt know what happens. I refused some boys in my early 20s. Iām 5ā8, not fat, Asian, love being active outdoors, if you want to know
Oh so you are open to anything. the app asks you what you are searching for..Did you answer this? If you dont have a general goal and just want anything, I would put "open to anything" in the profile since you cant choose 2 "searching for" tags. But whats the problem? No matches?
After the last update you can now choose two (I think). At least I chose two options
even better! then OP doesnt have to say it in their BIO, just choose the right tags
This problem explains a lot Yikes
I think you shouldn't look that much on apps, but go outside and try to meet people doing different kinds of activities. The connections you made on apps are always somewhat artificial and often stay like that for some time. I had waaay more luck in real life. I go out with my friends, but bars and clubs are often not the right place, unless you're for example in a bar where always the same nice people are. Otherwise I went to a community garden where I met always the same people on Sunday, I volunteered a bit. I think it's possible that dating apps are just not the right option for you.
I 2nd this..I HATE online dating. THis and social media in general has ruined what dating should be.
Mmh, I don't exactly know if it has ruined dating life. I think the fact that we don't meet so many other people outside is way worse!?
Maybe because your profile looks like all the fake ones? Do you have photos of you never looking into camera, but always looking away from it?
"intimacy without commitment" and "Fun, casual dates" would be your options unless you want serious then "long term relationship" + "fun, casual dates"
As a dude we could put āhas a pulseā and get no matches or likes
Honestly at this point if you have a pulse, are human (some flexibility here of course), female and are between the ages of 18 and 30 I'm open to it. I get 0 matches
Flexibility on the pulse thing too?
Oh yeah you can't be too picky nowadays
True, one has to stay sensible about expectations
We know that about men alreadyā¦
Are you not getting matches or not having success on dates? You didn't provide any useful information.
Getting a lot matches, and went on some dates, and had something, but not anyone can stay longer
Sounds like English isn't your first language. Do you invite the guys to your apartment? Do they kiss you? Maybe post some more examples.
Post your profile, Iāll tell you honestly. Or, PM me your profile if you donāt want it public, Iāll give you honest feedback and advice
So you said in another post you are getting tons of likes and having sex but they arenāt sticking around. Sounds like you are picking the wrong guys.
I hate to say it, but she may be sleeping with them right away. That is usually not the way to find a long term romance
What is the right way? I wasnāt expecting something very serious, but I donāt want ons
Even short term romance wouldn't work like that. There should be a build up and hang out together multiple times before even considering it. Of course, most who are desperate would go for it and those who aren't fussed would take it and assume that it is a one off then disappear. The issue is the lack of clear communication.
Finding a FWB guy is easy, but finding one you are attracted to might be harder if you are picky hyper select. Better to make friends in real life on Bumbke BFF or local events and then do FWB with one if them.
Beyond anything about your profile or dating apps, this is going to be hard because you haven't had a serious relationship before, you've moved around a lot, and you're feeling lonely in a foreign country. Basically, you're starting from zero, so I'd recommend you focus primarily on just finding friendly people and activities in your current location. If you happen to find someone you want to date along the way, great! But either way that network will help you feel more fulfilled and confident to put yourself out there in a new relationship, and give you more balance so you don't have to rely on your eventual boyfriend for everything. In my opinion, this isn't a r/Bumble question; if you need advice, I'd look for something about building community or finding friends in r/relationships or r/expats. eg [https://www.reddit.com/r/expats/comments/15h0c10/moving\_to\_another\_country\_alone\_first\_time/](https://www.reddit.com/r/expats/comments/15h0c10/moving_to_another_country_alone_first_time/)
I have friends in here. But I donāt want to ruining our friendship by getting something else. as you know friendship probably goes longer than romantic relationship.
OP deleted, but for anyone reading this in the future... hug your friends. Physical touch doesn't have to be romantic or sexual. Don't make yourself lonely living in a bubble. IMO you can also still be friends after dating if you're not a jerk, but opinions vary.
Best comment!
Welcome to the life of a man
Skill issue
Being born ugly/deformed is a thing. Having your face mauled a child is a thing. If you don't have a good looking face, it doesn't matter what skills you have. Looks are what allow you to even partake. Skills only come into play if you aren't hideous.
Not sure what about that is unique to being a man
Even ugly women can get one night stands or FWBs. Men cannot.
Eh, ugly girls definitely strike out a lot and donāt get hit on much at bars unless theyāre the only girls there. Being an ugly girl is worse than being an ugly guy tbh
Not for FWB or ONS but I agree for relationships.
It is unique
Might be the location issue, I can't find fwb to hangout because of the location/country. They want either marriage or money.
Funny thing is Iām in Australia and couldnāt find one
That's interesting. Do you have different photos, normal bio and prompts? Have you tried different apps?
Australia is awful for non-yt folks. You either get fetishized af or rejected from the get-go.Ā
That because itās Australia, you are either in a large circle of friends who will introduce you or in competition with other rich beautiful asians who are aiming for the bottom to get residency.
Funny, Iām rich and got residency
Oh youāre rich?? Never been down under but why nottt
You donāt want to be racing for the bottom, those men took themselves out once they know they cant chained you with residency bait. I suggest spending that money on access to places that need money to enter, like expensive gym, classes, gatherings to make friends.
Thanks for your advice. If gym and tennis club are working, I wonāt be here š„²š„²
Bribe your trainer, they have large networks. Tennis is too far to talk/connect while you play, try other classes that forces close contact.
What industry do you work in? Iād say make good friends with guys, make sure theyāre decent people, and then something may develop from there (fwb or relationship) Oh and tinder seems pretty easy to find this??
If youāre moving around a lot that could be an issue. Living abroad is another issue. Are you living around people you want to make into a husband?also you are older for the online dating market. The prime that guys are trying to match with is 22-26 so keep that in mind. 28 puts you at around 30 get married which is completely fine as well.
Arenāt Asian women typically the pickiest when it comes to men though
I've wondered this also. I've matched with women of all kinds of races and ethnicities but never asian
Because if you donāt look like a 15 year old kpop singer theyāre not interested Downvote me all you want Iām still gonna say it with my chest
You are funny, you haven't travelled to Asia then. Caucasians especially are seen as exotic for the residencies in Europe or US.
Is being seen as exotic a good or bad thing lol? Asking as a Caucasian male
Not sure, I'd consider it myself as I have a preference for gingers and there's 0% chance I will meet an Asian who is naturally ginger. (Although I do have some copper brown hair) So yes, it could be seen as "exotic" but not a deal-breaker as if they are boring, I don't care about their looks.
I've matched with two Asian women over the years. One was dry af and the other was overly obsessed with bitcoin. She seemed to have a lot of money tho. Both were travellers from China. Texting with them fizzled out after a couple days...I couldn't get them to meet
Hahahaha you made my dayššš
How come? In which area?
Lol what? I always thought the opposite. Iām a white guy tho
Girl get yourself a weighted blanket and a cat/dog, dating sucks
Iām thinking it already šš
Good for you! š
Super easy to find FWB lol, but not a bf these days. When you put long term relationship, you get lots of FWB types šš
What are fwb types? Or which ones do you know?
Anyone looking for FWB, but usually are avoidant attachment style or other insecure attachment style like anxious.Ā
You've got a good head on your shoulders. This is the honest to God truth right here.
Thank you! Thats a really nice compliment and I appreciate it!
Of course!!
Nice name by the way!
Awwww thank you!! š„°
Okay, interesting to call it fwb types... But yeah, I know what you mean.
Also those who have commitment issues.
How long have you been on the apps? How many dates? Do you get to a second date, or are you finding potential partners don't ask for a second date? I agree posting your profile would help. How you communicate is also incredibly important. You could match with someone who seems compatible but if you're not conversing with them in an engaging way, that match won't go anywhere.
You gotta post your profile for us to be able to tell
Fat chicks don't like to post full body profile pictures.
I read some of your other thread about the guy who canceled last minute and maybe you are doing or sayin something thatās turning guys off? Your response to him canceling, I get, while at the same time if I were that guy Iād prolly leave you on read too- you sound kinda intense and personally Iāve had enough of that
I canāt figure it out either.. back in my day 7-8 years ago you could just go live with an account (in any city) and match with someone and go hookup..real quick, no instagram checks or text games.. I am objectively better looking now and it is much more difficult to get laid these days
Asian people say they want sex but then have an interview session on oneās career , education and money!!! That is why it is hard for you to find someone for sex. It comes across judgmental to many men.
I take often a lot of time to get to know I man I will have sex with. But yeah... interview sessions are not the right way I guess.
Truthfully, I imagine it's because you like most women, don't initiate anything. Just sit there and expect a guy to message first, invite, lead, etc... It is probably not difficult if you're patient but if you want it on demand at your convenience than you may have to push a few buttons yourself to make things happen. Also, the other factor is the lack of interest in your tone. Personally, when I sense it I have no desire to continue talking to someone who thinks I'm replaceable or just like anyone else.
Lol. You have it on easy mode and you're still failing
Where is the profile
Do you follow rule 1 and 2?
Oh my god, I can write books about fwb.. Basically, a lot of people can't handle the balance between "only friendship" and "full blown relationship". Many fall in love after a few weeks, which can be fine if both feel the way. Also, some people only want to have sex like three times or so and they don't feel it anymore after that time... But I get the feeling that people want more and more: Either a ONS or a marriage, haha... I think many of the long term fwb and loose relationship start randomly, people don't find it so easily on apps maybe??
I couldnāt find much man in real lifeš„²š„²š„²this is the problem
I wrote about this in another comment. You just need to change your activities outside the house I guess... I met many men that were friends of my friends, I also organised meeting for expats and travelers, a few couples met on those meetings.
Ok, hereās the thing Op, there are lots of men in your life that would love to date you, be your BF, and definitely would be happy being your FWB. Iād say 90% of men would agree with my statement above. So the men are out there. The question is, āwhy are they invisible to you?ā The most likely answer is ā¦.you consider them less than desirable/not attractive enough for you. You may have an inflated sense of your attractiveness/sexual market value.
It is really not that easy to find a nice fwb, if you look for somebody for more than two months. Or is that common were you live? I hardly experience it and also hardly see it. To me it seems rather hard to find such a person.
Iām a guy and Iāve never had a problem getting an FWB. I donāt mean to be rude but if youāre a woman and you canāt find a dude to shag you on the regular you are doing something wrong.
Eeehh... I do have a fwb for 2,5 years already. But before I met him I didn't have one for a long time. It was always really hard for me and I don't understand why you think it's easy. It's either that we're both no longer interested anymore after a few weeks or one of us has a crush on the other person. Also, when you write "shags you on a regular basis" I think you mean more of a pretty superficial thing where people just meet for sex, maybe for a beer in a bar, but not a lot more, but that's not what I meant.
I have much affection for all my FWBās, but at the end of the day there is a reason we are NOT in a relationship. Youāve had one for 2.5 yearsā¦.how hard was it to find one before?
I had an fwb when I was between 19 and 21 years old and I became single again 8 years ago. I traveled and moved around a little bit which didn't help. But basically, I didn't have what I looked for in all those years. It was sometimes kind of close, but it was not what I have now or what I had when I was 20. I also didn't really look for it actively (well most of the time I didn't). And when I was involved in something else I also didn't look for it. But basically we can say that yeah, for five to six years I didn't manage to find that. I can imagine that my expectations about this are also higher than yours. But I also seriously don't know anybody who has what I have now.
Thatās wonderful! And itās not a relationship, why? And does it inhibit your ability to find a long term relationship with someone? I assume you are obviously dating other people too.
So, the thing is that I left the country and now I live basically between the city we met and his hometown, but closer to his hometown, where he is only seldomly. So, for 1,5 years we don't meet that often anymore, but talk a lot. And in this way it doesn't interfere that much with finding a longterm relationship, no. I guess, I would be a bit more motivated if I had less sex, but yeah, I still go on dates and just had two dates with one man. I am not in a relationship with my fwb, because, to be honest I think he doesn't see me as that super attractive and another very important reason is that he considers having children, while I see myself as already too old for it. Fortunately, I am not that much attached to him, so it works well this way. I think we are good to each other, so I would be fine if things stayed like they are for a bit longer, but of course I wish him to find a girl friend one day, too. How about you?
I am in a relationship currently, so no FWBs for me right now. But the ones Iāve had in the past, the best ones were where we were good friends who cared about each other, had great sex, but we also knew we were not the ones for one another long term. We could hang out in the post sex cuddle and talk about our dates with others open and honestly. It was pretty great! One of the reasons that one in particular worked so well is that there was no imbalance, we both knew what it was. I have had FWBs who wanted more. Unfortunately they lacked the insight you clearly have. Sometimes it was confusing why they couldnāt see it and they would think it was something else
Yeah and I think that's the reason why there are so few long fwbs. People lack that insight, they get caught up in their feelings and tried to change things when there was no point in trying to build a relationship. But nice that you were so lucky in the past and now even have a relationship! I have to say I am somewhat afraid to find a new fwb once this one ends and I guess it will end in a year or earlier when my fwb finishes his PHD, that's somehow my feeling... It was always hard for me to find somebody and I think it won't change. It must also be something about me.
Iām 5ā8 and looking for anyone above 5ā8 normal ppl, educated, healthy, decent life. Is it too much?
Wellā¦i think you know the answer to that question with your post. And it might not be YOUR standards, but theirs. Men get to have standards too. And maybe you think the guys who are on your level simply arenāt. That saidā¦.if youāre just looking to hook up, you should NOT be having this much trouble. Are you really just looking for some physical touch/hook up? The apps are full of horny dudes. DO NOT say youāre looking for that (youāll break the internet or they will think youāre a scammer.) instead just post a profile and swipe away!
You might not be attractive enough for sex?
You're joking, right? You know that you can be extremely far from the beauty standards, have yellow teeth, stink, have dirty, old ugly clothes, be fat and old and still find men for sex?
I mean the same is true the other way around. There is always someone ugly enough to have sex with, man or woman. She's not attractive enough for sex *for the men she's swiping on*. Also she would like a FWB, which is a taller order because you have to rely on the man coming back for repeated sessions. A lot of my friends get bored after 1-2 times with a woman and cut her off. Usually I like longer strings of casual because I don't have to wear a rubber and there's familiarity.
Well, that's a whole different story than just writing "not attractive enough for sex", lol. But yeah, I often wonder about men that say they find nobody. Like, yes, obviously it is easier for women to find a guy that is alright and looks alright for sex. For men it's like that, if they accepted a woman that was less alright and looked less alright... Yeah, I think many of them would also find them if they just lowered their standards... Not all of them, because there are seriously men that are so bad with their social skills and stuff they would literally never get anybody, but I also think that there is quite a number of men that would eventually find a woman if they lowered their standards. Why do you think your friends get bored? Maybe that could help here. Or, which women do you choose "for longer"?
I've done some life coaching for some of my younger friends in their 20s, to specifically target older women so they can save money in preparation for going overseas in their early 30s. HOMY: Hookup Older Marry Younger. Unfortunately they haven't taken all my advice to heart. They are preferring "pump and dump" situations rather than taking my advice of having long lasting FWBs/situationships with these women. I personally think it's a waste of time and resources, but I think these friends want to rack up numbers rather than going for quality casual connections.
I am now sitting here and laughing, because my fwb is 12 years younger than me. One day he met a friend of mine and stated: Actually, there are also women that are older than 40 and still look good... But what do you mean with: save money in preparation for going overseas? Is that a saying?
Sure. When a man is in his 20s, he is building himself up for his future wife. That wife won't be found in the West most likely, so he has to plan appropriate to build his physical/mental/emotional/financial well being. This means eschewing traditional dating with women his own age, head down, focused on his long term goals, while simultaneously connecting with low maintenance older women. These women, in my experience and I instruct these men likewise, will not expect traditional courting or any money having to be spent on them. The relationship is transactional. In my 20s, the cougar will often cook for me, let me stay over, mentor me in the art of pleasuring a woman, and most importantly allowing me to focus on my long term goals. She makes my life easier in exchange for great sex and a decent companion for an hour or two afterwards. These men when they reach 30-35 retire from dating older women and begin their search overseas for their traditional bride. It's important to NEVER get into a committed relationship or fall in love with these women. I've done a simple analysis and men not dating in their 20s and only establishing long term FWBs with cougars save over $250,000 towards their estate assuming 8% annualized gains and $500/month saved.
Oh gosh, you made a science from this! No wonder you trained to life coach your friends... I found my ex when he was 28, but I didn't realise that he still didn't know what he wants for his life and from our relationship. If I was young again, I would definitely wait longer to choose a serious longterm relationship.
Omg š³I probably found out why it is hard to get a bf or fwb. Men will get bored with one girl in just 2 or 3 times or sex.
Which country is this?
Australia
Melbourne is full of wankers if you ask me, this would be part of your problem. Even so FWB should be easy to find. Hell, a blank profile will still get likes if you are female. Try west coast once you're done with the twangy east coasters.
I was thinking move to QLDšš
I would think you could put out the right message to find a Fwb.
You mean, the right information in the bio? Or in a chat?
I am not familiar with the app, but would think you could put some code word or fwb in your bio. When I was single, if someone would have asked me to be a fwb, I would have been open to it
So, I am not the OP, but one big problem that I personally have is, that my ideal goal would be a serious relationship, but since I am a long term single and the idea to find a relationship is not realistic. It's just that writing: open to anything or stuff like that seems to turn off a lot of people. And then, many people try anyway to turn things into something sexual if they can't see a relationship with somebody but are sexually attracted to them. If I look for something casual, I just match with the men that state that they want something casual, that's it.
Its the same for me(30) honestly im a latin dude, using this garbage apps cause im kinda shy/introverted, and everything i see on a lot of them, is ppl just looking for one night stands, not in to that shit, so resigned(?) to be alone forever š¤£
Seriously, just ONS where you live?
Vancouver, but i can see its a ons culture all around canada š¤£ i mean, i see girls 35 yo saying ānothing seriousā like, really? Hahaha
Wow, that is something. I mean,I can see that this ONS thing gets more and more popular, but only ONS??? That makes me feel married although I only have an fwb, lol.
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Yeah, well actually OP is a perfect example that an fwb could be something completely different and I also have my fwb for 2,5 years already. When you're not able to have a full on relationship, you go for a long term fwb if you're able to find one, because it's basically impossible to find someone for long. I don't understand what you meant with the stuff you wrote after the first sentence. A person that looks for a fwb could be just as well fine with an ONS? Well, I try to avoid ONS and hardly have them, maybe basically will never have one again. If I would seriously look for a fwb I would never be fine with an ONS and mostly wait anyway some longer time until I have sex with somebody.
Feel me to reach out to me. Iām from Singapore. Looking for FWB
It sounds like you picked your professional life over your personal/love life. Your availability sounds like the biggest obstacle. Boyfriends tend to require more time than a FWB and youāre already really busy with school, work and travel! If you only want a FWB you should probably look for someone during your travelsā¦. (If you arenāt traveling for work!) Sounds like you need to do an assessment of how other Asian women are fairing and maybe to learn some of their habits or behaviors. Maybe Tinder/Hinge is the way to go for something more casual. Otherwise youāre going to need to be more social within your school circle. If nothing else you may be able to build a network for after graduation.
I think, look for people around you instead of online world. Start talking to work people like in Cafeteria, public places, etc. Ask your friends for help. Donāt judge people based on anything. Maybe good people are around you but couldnāt able to talk to you bcoz you are busy with your work.
it's not just you, I face the same thing too. I think for me it's because of the kind if person I am.
Are you on dating sites ? you are dating in a foreign country were you are not ā ethnicallyā the same , maybe guys are interested in you but intimidated by the idea of approaching a girl who they donāt know if they can communicate with . Seen it
Habibi come to india u will get all along
So sorry to hear this sweetie. Dating becomes much more difficult after high school & college because your social life begins to dye down. Honestly, itās best to establish a great career & a great social life before you establish a relationship with a man/woman. No man will want to date an extremely desperate girl! And youāre not the only one; itās been hard for men & women EVERYWHERE.
Maybe u need to talk to some people like for me it's very difficult and hard to meet or talk with women or people. So if u ever need someone to talk to am here to help u.
Bumble sucksĀ
Seems like a self created problem.
Because as a wise man once said. Its hard to distinguish the real woman from the 'hoes these days'. And for women it's too hard to distinguish the money from the human being. This will get lots of hate. But it's facts. The modern age of dating is a toxic, confusing, battleground of all round selfishness. The question you ask, why is it hard to find a boyfriend or friends with benefits underscores today's problem, nobody knows what the fuck they want. Except money.
Itās either you donāt have a good enough personality to match your looks or you just arenāt your typeās type. Just Avoid any conclusions that rob you of the responsibility for the situation you are in.
If youāre not getting any luck having sex, like just sex, itās definitely something with your profile. āHey I have a pulse and want you to fuck me so itāll go fasterā should suffice in most cases.
At the risk of drawing hate, I will tell you what draws my attention in a profile. With the disclaimer that Iām an older guy and probably not in the age range the OP is looking for her partners. This is all drawn from my online dating apps with Asian women. This would be much easier if I could actually see the profile, but I can understand not wanting to post it. First, you need to have a couple pictures. Preferably at least one head shot where you are looking in the camera and a body shot. Yes itās shallow, but the first thing to draw anyoneās attention is going to be the photo. When I say a couple photos, that doesnāt mean an entire album, more canāt hurt though. Second, Now youāve succeeded with round one, because I have clicked to open your profile rather than scrolling by. You need to put some thought into your biography. Yes it sucks having to do one, but this is extremely important. Red flags to me are, no biography, just info to contact them outside the app, and a just a single sentence. On dating apps, I have found, particularly with Asian women, if the biography red flags are present than the woman is either wanting a green card, money, to sell webcam videos, or engage in some sort of fraud (or a combination of them). You donāt need to write a novel, but you need to put a little about yourself. A few of your interests or hobbies for example. If my interest isnāt drawn or there are red flags, Iām not contacting or responding to your contact, unless your contact text cancels the red flag. Third, contact texting. Donāt be afraid or hesitant to initiate contact. Be prepared to engage in a conversation. Donāt make me try to carry it the whole time. The whole purpose of this is to build a rapport, so that we think it is worth meeting in real life. Iām not sure if itās a cultural thing, but I have had Asian women talk about how I have to work to earn their trust, then within two minutes is planning our marriage and future children. That kind of shift signals crazy that I donāt need in my life. The important thing to understand is that if all you are hoping to find someone to build a long term relationship with, there has to be more than physical attraction. You have to build a friendship first, than it can develop into more. Iām probably leaving something out, but hopefully this will give a better idea of what men are looking for.
May I suggest trying to be upfront about your intentions. Tell them you're interested in a FWB arrangement and explain that you are placing interest on the friend part as much as the benefits. Go out on dates and see if you have a good time and if there is enough chemistry for a friendship. And if that factor is there then try out the sex.
Same here. Im doing my PhD in a foreign country. I find that foreigners thinki short term, and therefore it is hard to be on the same level. I qouldnt worry about your body type, but maybe the way your profile is written?
Sometimes you have to look into the void to find the strength inside of yourself. Love comes from within and radiates outward to others. Be kind to yourself, both in mind and body. As you become more comfortable with the human being that you are, you wont give a fuck anymore about being lonely. You'll just be loving life. And love and sex will fall at your feet. Ideally thats how its supposed to go anyway I think.
You might be unattractive to people in foreign cultures because currently Iām facing with the same thing. Normally, whether using bumble or not I can make contact easily in my home country although Iām an average person.
Surely finding sex is easyā¦.
I canāt even find anyone so understanding
If youāre even moderately attractive as a female it shouldnāt be hard to find a guy whoās interested in hooking up. Problem is finding a guy who you actually want to hook up with that isnāt a giant selfish douche about it
They wanted someone who is in serious but also wants to have sex more than once which I think is just such an odd philosophy. Iāve heard women say this so what is it is it if it happens for three weeks itās OK if it happens for a month like where is the cut off line?
Iām available
Iāll keep it real with you. You might be unattractive. Either that or itās where you are. I could be entirely wrong, but I feel like FWB is just more common in the US than it is anywhere else. Itās significantly easier for a woman to find a fwb than men. Then that leaves the relationship part. Are you going out? I also feel like less people use these apps outside the US. But then also, people like to be with their own (usually), and thereās this notion that foreigners hate Americans. But back to my original point. Respectfully, you may be unattractive (to them)
Wait for your DM to get flooded?
For what it's worth my last relationship of almost a decade ended badly with her cheating on me it's been 4 years and I'm finally giving in to my needs as a man until now I wasn't wanting to to be with anyone it now I really am craving a woman's touch or at least romantic attention I would definitely be interested in at least having a meaningful conversation with you from time to time and being good friends and honesty growing into something more but I'm 41 so don't know how you feel about that but I seen your post and figured I'd shoot my shot I hope you the best of luck and hopefully I hear back from you if not I totally understand and hope you have a wonderful day thanks
Why donāt you put the above in your profile and Iām sure youāll get some attention, hopefully of the kind variety.
Why are you racist against Asians?
this exact question is why, you donāt know what you want and you should figure it out if thats how you feel.
Most guys would say the same thing.
Islam has a solution. Bismillah
Youāre probably very picky and want one of those chads or fboys all the women want. Why brag you get lots of matches and dates and sex but canāt find what you really want. I have had sex once in 3 months and Iām trying to put myself out there but alot of women are picky as hell and go for the same type of f boy who gets all the action and situations. Sounds like youāre not that attractive to get who you really want and you need to settle for whoever at this point.
Sorry for the struggles
no fwb either?? Lol i think we may know the problem
Try to go in a bar, or tea rooms to find someone to be with, Like the old school way
I am pretty sure that you are not in america. š By the way she writes it, she would be pregnant š
She'S not, but how does that matter?
are you serious? I guess that she is selective when it comes to partners because itās well know that asian women are fetishized a lot .
I meant that she's not in the USA.
It matters because American men are desert thirsty
I hear that expression for the first time, but I can very well imagine what it means, haha...
Buy a hooker then. Or a gigolo..whatever it's called. This is why dating aps suck and Bumble used to be better, because people wanted more than just another empty relationship. Don't use my first suggestions please. I was just being sour and I really hate the predicament that you think that you are in. Maybe you just want attention, I suppose that's not too bad...But becareful where your play and curiosity lead you. Excellent troll post if that's what it is btw. Whew, what a ride. š¤£š
Without the intention of spreading hate, nut it seems like your just not looking good enough to be considered for a bf or fwd or even ons. Work on yourself if your too thin or fat.
This is the unpopular opinion but the truth. As a girl, FWB or relationship is easy compared to for guys
In order for that to be true there would have to be a lot of sharing involved
Rhetorical or.. ? Because youāre not as attractive as you think and your standards are too high.
I'll be your FWB depending on your area. Inbox me if you're serious.