You're not alone. Fearing you'll trigger the switch flip is painfully real, even when it's a smaller flip (like someone going from chill to annoyed with me), because annoyance feels like someone being livid and someone being livid means I might go through hell again and need to withdraw so that I'm safe.
I feel this so much.Its because of the people who bullied me though which were all my "close friends" at some point in my life so whenever i become friends with someone i find myself trying to get prepared to them hating me for some reason one day and try to hurt me once again.
Expectation of abandonment is common with people with cptsd. What is most important is that you don’t self isolate and you don’t discount / discredit the people who are actually there for you. I have exactly one friend who has made it past the three year mark and while I still fully expect to be left behind at some point, my therapist insists that I enjoy the time I have with her while I have it.
> my therapist insists that I enjoy the time I have with her while I have it.
That seems like a very good perspective on it, better than trying to fight your idea that they will abandon you.
I try to believe that not everyone has that ability, but if I’m honest, I think all of us do if we feel we’re cornered and very vulnerable.
The important part is to be aware of it and apologize if it’s taken out on someone else. Very few people have this ability though.
You're not alone. Fearing you'll trigger the switch flip is painfully real, even when it's a smaller flip (like someone going from chill to annoyed with me), because annoyance feels like someone being livid and someone being livid means I might go through hell again and need to withdraw so that I'm safe.
I feel this so much.Its because of the people who bullied me though which were all my "close friends" at some point in my life so whenever i become friends with someone i find myself trying to get prepared to them hating me for some reason one day and try to hurt me once again.
Expectation of abandonment is common with people with cptsd. What is most important is that you don’t self isolate and you don’t discount / discredit the people who are actually there for you. I have exactly one friend who has made it past the three year mark and while I still fully expect to be left behind at some point, my therapist insists that I enjoy the time I have with her while I have it.
> my therapist insists that I enjoy the time I have with her while I have it. That seems like a very good perspective on it, better than trying to fight your idea that they will abandon you.
Just because everything eventually ends doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make the best of it while you still have it.
I try to believe that not everyone has that ability, but if I’m honest, I think all of us do if we feel we’re cornered and very vulnerable. The important part is to be aware of it and apologize if it’s taken out on someone else. Very few people have this ability though.