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[deleted]

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?


wozard-of-iz

African or European swallow?


Sco0basTeVen

What would a swallow be laden with?


Robtimus_prime89

A coconut. It could grip it by the husk.


[deleted]

Or two could use a line of creeper and carry it together.


MrPigpants

It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.


mythical_tiramisu

Do you prefer green or black olives?


wozard-of-iz

Neither I'm afraid, get those salty testicles away from me.


WhiteyLovesHotSauce

I always thought it was time alive that changes olive hate into olive love - but turns out it is time driving.


mythical_tiramisu

How do you know I garnish my balls in that… er I mean how dare you speak of olives in that way?!


derinkooyou

If you call them meat grapes instead of salty testicles instead. You may be, not so scared.


Molly_Hatchett

What is (or was) the first place you were looking forward to driving to by yourself?


wozard-of-iz

The local McDonalds Drive Thru... sounds silly but gotta be done!


JarJarBinksSucks

Classic


AlexMcDaddyD

You deserved it


Molly_Hatchett

Nothing silly about that! Enjoy, if you haven't been already! Well done, comrade.


Camman1

I’m the same age and don’t see myself ever driving. What made you learn?


wozard-of-iz

Cycling to work earlier this year, getting caught in a storm and spending 8 hours working dripping wet. I also have nephews so it'll be nice to help out my sister (who doesn't drive) whenever I can!


Camman1

Yeah, that’ll do it. Thanks for the response.


KFR42

I passed when I was 33, because my wife was pregnant and wanted to be sure I could drive her to the hospital when she went into labour (she had been driving since she was a teenager). I passed and after all of that, her mum ended up driving us both to hospital when she was in labour.


Robdogg11

What's the first song you are blasting with the windows down when driving on your own for the first time?


wozard-of-iz

Roadrunner - The Modern Lovers


m-1975

What's your favourite motorway services?


wozard-of-iz

Not sure yet, will get back to you on that.


Dduwies_Gymreig

If you’re ever heading up the M6 into Cumbria definitely stop at Tebay services. There’s a similar on the M5 near Gloucester but Tebay is better.


Shectai

For future reference these are the accepted correct answers.


Sweaty_Sheepherder27

Gloucester and Tebay are both run by the same company. Lodge Moor in Scotland as well.


Bright-Ad9305

When heading south from Cumbria on the M6 I enjoy a cheeky stop at Killington Lake/Lake Killington services just after j37. Sitting inside, looking over the lake and smashing a Big Tasty is the perfect juxtaposition. Tebay Services is the bollocks tho!


Frequent-Skin-3466

Would you rather spend or a year in prison or have a year to eat an entire door?


wozard-of-iz

Eat a door... I just finished watching OZ. Prison looks horrible.


johnnymeow2

Suiiiiii. Just remember that 6 points will put you back to square one if you get them in 2 years.


robp140

How long did it take / how much did it cost? (roughly) I can drive but my parter wants to learn and know the price of a lesson is crazy now. Ps. Well done on the 1st time pass. I failed 5 times. Cost me a bloody fortune.


wozard-of-iz

I think I ended up having around 25ish lessons over 5 months. Some were 90 minutes though. Lessons were £40 a pop. Being a borderline OAP I wanted to ensure I was a good driver so didn't really mind spending a bit more money.


StumbleDog

>Lessons were £40 a pop. Crikey, it's crazy how expensive it's got now. When I was learning to drive in 2007 lessons were £16!


robp140

Thats pretty quick! (compared to me anyway). Well in. My partner is 35 so she is also an OAP but is nervous about starting.Think its worse learning when you are older confidence wise.


totalbasterd

recent first-time passer here (38 yo) - £40 (south east) a pop and i had 8 lessons. passed with 1 minor


Dodel1976

Enjoy your new freedom, it's an essential skillset and opens many many doors.


wozard-of-iz

5 doors if theres one going.


darwin-rover

Kirk or Picard?


wozard-of-iz

Never been a fan of Star Trek! Always been a Star Wars guy.


blathers_enthusiast

I'll answer the question instead! I'm a Picard kinda gal but Kirk has got his good points too


Dduwies_Gymreig

Picard all the way, but Pike and his hair is starting to tempt me…


fixy2501

Sisko


jt94

How many minor faults?


wozard-of-iz

5 which 'is nothing to be annoyed about' according to my instructor.


jt94

Not at all - no majors is the important one! Congratulations!


FatManNoPlan

Daddy, or chips?


CarpenterSeparate178

Who are you, SpongeBob SquarePants?


wozard-of-iz

Hahaha very fair, I've just never needed a car!


CarpenterSeparate178

Congratulations on passing!


wozard-of-iz

Cheers!


Myopically

How do you feel about being yet another part of the country’s carbon monoxide emitting vehicle traffic, permanently requiring a space to park your vehicle at home and at your destination?


fixy2501

Found the bus wanker


wozard-of-iz

I'm still gonna cycle/walk most places as my town is pretty small and my flat came with an off road parking space I'll be out the way.


hypnodrew

This is pretty obnoxious. Not everyone lives in a city, or a place with competent public transport.


EverybodySayin

>permanently requiring a space to park your vehicle at home and at your destination Probably feels better about that than having to use public transport.


[deleted]

At least he’s got a home and a life mate


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Evridamntime

Did your instructor explain what the point was of that crazy 'pull up on the right and reverse' manoeuvre??


wozard-of-iz

I had to do that... I think it's for the examiner to make sure you check your mirrors and aware of surroundings but I'm probably wrong.


[deleted]

melodic rainstorm mighty escape sip deer heavy smart bake ring *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


wozard-of-iz

The examiner was surprisingly chatty so it went by pretty fast! My advice would be to get a chatty examiner.


Sweaty_Sheepherder27

Did you get any minors, and what were they for?


wozard-of-iz

5 minors... 2 for not checking blindspots, 2 for positioning, 1 for not doing a mirror check.


Sweaty_Sheepherder27

Nice one! My test was years ago, I got a minor for not putting the indicator back on quick enough, and another for pulling out in front of a lorry on a roundabout (minor only because I floored it!)


Bimblelina

What was the most stressful part of the test. Or was it at an easy peasy test centre in the middle of nowhere?


[deleted]

Not going to ask you anything but I will congratulate you. Well done! I got my license two years ago at age 33.


YinkYinkYinken

What's your dream car?


Seraphelia

How long did it take you to learn to drive from 0? I’m late 20s and haven’t had a single lesson but the need to drive is getting too much to ignore now…


[deleted]

But it's not a question of where it grips it...


gogginsbulldog1979

What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?


Creepy-Examination19

Can I have a lift back from the pub?