My last birthday my wife forgot, as did my kids but she should have reminded them. 5 days later my parents asked if I'd like to go out to dinner to celebrate. I told my wife to meet us for dinner after work. When my parents ordered a cake for me at the end of dinner she said "oh yeah it was your birthday." That's it, no happy birthday, or sorry I forgot, just thinking out loud I guess.
That was like my now ex wife on my last birthday. She didn’t give 2 shits. Our daughters boyfriends birthday was the week before and she decorated the whole house. Later I found out she was (still is) banging the boyfriends dad lol. So that was just a big impression management ploy to show what a great mom she is. What a character, I’m glad she’s gone she really went off the rails, he can have her
Don't be down on yourself for getting emotional, this is a rough journey and you should be so proud for how far you have come. There are always going to be times where our feelings sneak up on us but I think it says a lot that you made it through dinner. Hang in there and happy birthday ❤️
Happy Birthday My birthday is a little over a month away and my husband dropped the news this week that he wants a divorce I'm not looking forward to it at all.
You ARE getting there my friend. Some days are easier than others and as time goes on you will have more and more good days. Reaching out this way is also a great sign that you are on your way to the other side. I think you are closer than you realize.
My first birthday after the divorce was my 50th. My kids threw me a party and I invited everyone that stood by me even though I was married to a shit for brains for 25 years. That party was way better than the surprise 40th that he had for me where he didn't invite any of my friends or family. It was his parents, brother and his best friends.
Hey buddy. Sorry you're feeling this way. It does get better, but you feel this way because you've got a void in your life and things like bdays or holidays really accentuate those voids. The only real solution is to refill your life with things.
I ended up getting remarried, but to each their own.
I’ll probably get married again. I loved that connection with someone. And getting married even once shows that I’m capable of it. I’m just worried I’ll never be trusting again.
There's nothing wrong with trust.....but in the words of our former President Reagan: "Trust.....but verify."
The bad thing in all of our first divorces is that we just didn't know what game we were playing. It's sort of like Monopoly where we were playing by the house rules regarding Free Parking and then our spouses found the rule book and made us play that way. Once you know what the rules are, it isn't so scary. You adjust and adapt and move on with life. I'm remarried and hope it lasts forever, but I know what the score is today and I wouldn't flop around in another marriage for 10 years with my spouse looking at me nasty. If I deserve it, sure thing. But even if I did something, you address it and move on. Otherwise, bye.....I can find someone else to spend my time with. And I know how the finances work this time. Sure....I'd have alimony. That's something to check out. Right now I'd pay something on the order of $500/month for about 3 years. So, I look at my wife and think to myself, "Is she worth that?" Right now the answer is yes. But if things changed.....like if she became nothing but a mom who did youth sports with her kids and told me to "wait until they go to college". The answer would become "no" within weeks. I don't have time for that.
So when you go forward, just look at what the rules are. You're going to get a lot of reality about it dealing with your divorce now. As long as you know the rulebook, it isn't that scary. :)
I'm sorry you're still having a hard time with special occasions. Our divorce isn't final yet, and my birthday was on the 3rd. He had our kids the week prior and never helped them get or do anything for me for my birthday, even after being with me for 15 years and knowing how much special occasions mean to me. Par for the course really, bc he always did everything last-minute, or forgot and ran to the store day of. I had already planned on helping the girls pick out a gift and card for him, as his bday is at the end of the month. It bothered me only bc I think he should still make my special days special for the kids- I dont expect a gift from him, but come on, help the girls out until they are old enough to go out and buy things on their own.
You are getting there brother... The fact that you are mindful of your feelings and feeling them is nothing to be ashamed of! Feel them and then let them pass. You got this! Also Happy birthday!
My last birthday my wife forgot, as did my kids but she should have reminded them. 5 days later my parents asked if I'd like to go out to dinner to celebrate. I told my wife to meet us for dinner after work. When my parents ordered a cake for me at the end of dinner she said "oh yeah it was your birthday." That's it, no happy birthday, or sorry I forgot, just thinking out loud I guess.
That was like my now ex wife on my last birthday. She didn’t give 2 shits. Our daughters boyfriends birthday was the week before and she decorated the whole house. Later I found out she was (still is) banging the boyfriends dad lol. So that was just a big impression management ploy to show what a great mom she is. What a character, I’m glad she’s gone she really went off the rails, he can have her
Don't be down on yourself for getting emotional, this is a rough journey and you should be so proud for how far you have come. There are always going to be times where our feelings sneak up on us but I think it says a lot that you made it through dinner. Hang in there and happy birthday ❤️
Happy Birthday My birthday is a little over a month away and my husband dropped the news this week that he wants a divorce I'm not looking forward to it at all.
They get easier. Eventually you won’t even care about her on holidays. It takes time but it’ll happen. Hang in there
Amazing that you even held it together. Keep your head up❤❤❤
Happy Birthday :) Time will make it better. Stay strong.
You ARE getting there my friend. Some days are easier than others and as time goes on you will have more and more good days. Reaching out this way is also a great sign that you are on your way to the other side. I think you are closer than you realize.
My first birthday after the divorce was my 50th. My kids threw me a party and I invited everyone that stood by me even though I was married to a shit for brains for 25 years. That party was way better than the surprise 40th that he had for me where he didn't invite any of my friends or family. It was his parents, brother and his best friends.
Hey buddy. Sorry you're feeling this way. It does get better, but you feel this way because you've got a void in your life and things like bdays or holidays really accentuate those voids. The only real solution is to refill your life with things. I ended up getting remarried, but to each their own.
I’ll probably get married again. I loved that connection with someone. And getting married even once shows that I’m capable of it. I’m just worried I’ll never be trusting again.
There's nothing wrong with trust.....but in the words of our former President Reagan: "Trust.....but verify." The bad thing in all of our first divorces is that we just didn't know what game we were playing. It's sort of like Monopoly where we were playing by the house rules regarding Free Parking and then our spouses found the rule book and made us play that way. Once you know what the rules are, it isn't so scary. You adjust and adapt and move on with life. I'm remarried and hope it lasts forever, but I know what the score is today and I wouldn't flop around in another marriage for 10 years with my spouse looking at me nasty. If I deserve it, sure thing. But even if I did something, you address it and move on. Otherwise, bye.....I can find someone else to spend my time with. And I know how the finances work this time. Sure....I'd have alimony. That's something to check out. Right now I'd pay something on the order of $500/month for about 3 years. So, I look at my wife and think to myself, "Is she worth that?" Right now the answer is yes. But if things changed.....like if she became nothing but a mom who did youth sports with her kids and told me to "wait until they go to college". The answer would become "no" within weeks. I don't have time for that. So when you go forward, just look at what the rules are. You're going to get a lot of reality about it dealing with your divorce now. As long as you know the rulebook, it isn't that scary. :)
I'm sorry you're still having a hard time with special occasions. Our divorce isn't final yet, and my birthday was on the 3rd. He had our kids the week prior and never helped them get or do anything for me for my birthday, even after being with me for 15 years and knowing how much special occasions mean to me. Par for the course really, bc he always did everything last-minute, or forgot and ran to the store day of. I had already planned on helping the girls pick out a gift and card for him, as his bday is at the end of the month. It bothered me only bc I think he should still make my special days special for the kids- I dont expect a gift from him, but come on, help the girls out until they are old enough to go out and buy things on their own.
You are getting there brother... The fact that you are mindful of your feelings and feeling them is nothing to be ashamed of! Feel them and then let them pass. You got this! Also Happy birthday!