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You show me ONE non white Egyptian, go ahead, I'll wait.
Everyone knows Jesus was pale white and had dreadlocks because he was really into Rastafarianism.
"Can't you see, Rauru? She's clearly our descendant!"
"Sorry, Sonia. You'll have to forgive me, the navy-blue goat-dragon man, for not immediately recognizing this strange white woman as my offspring."
"I was the Queen of Hyrule. I built this entire kingdom with my own bare hands. I fought Ganondorf and gave my life for this land. But does anyone in the future remember me as Queen Sonia? No.
But ya fuck one goat..."
Reminds me of Fear Factor getting cancelled because they had an episode where a bunch of attractive ladies had to drink bowls of goat cum. And Joe Rogan is on the sides saying shit like "slurp it all up". Got a weird boner watching that episode though.
According to Wikipedia it was Donkey Semen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_Factor#Controversy
Edit: Found a clip of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk6KiP7iQgo
I thought Zelda is the sage of time?
Actually, don't answer that. I only unlocked the sage of wind so far - but i the cutscenes, where the 6 sages are mentioned, there's Zelda
This is not really a spoiler based on this thread so don't worry.
Sonia is the sage of time, Rauru is the sage of light.
Zelda as a descendant of both contains the essence of both but she also primarily identifies as the sage of time.
It's the same sage energy just existing in the same moment.
Her canonical embodiment of a sage across the games is of "wisdom" which is combining light and time.
The fandom wiki lists her as a sage, but you may actually be on to something now I think about it.
>!Were they calling themselves "sages" before Sonia gets assassinated or were they only the sages after coming together to fight ganon holding the stone?!<
I’ve been wondering about this one. I haven’t totally finished the game, but I’m not optimistic about the whole “tan elf + bipedal goat = white elf” thing getting explained.
Why does it need a specific explanation? It's not like Zelda is their child. There's like over 10,000 years between them. Do you realize the number of generations between them? I would bet very few of us have many specific traits in common with our ancestors from 10,000 years ago.
Probably significantly over 10,000 years, given that their time period has a completely different aesthetic. I'd guess 20,000 years just to make it feel more symmetrical.
The >!Half-Zonai Half-Hylian ancestor to Link you unlock as an outfit for completing all the shrines which is heavily implied to be the hero fighting Calamity Ganon alongside the Guardians in BOTW's Tapestry!< also confirms that the shift from Zonai to Hylian is a lot more well-documented than we thought.
>!Except that explanation then prevents Zelda’s return to the future from being possible, as her method only works if she went back to earlier in the same timeline.!<
That's a different guy, that guy's a vile bigot.
The "You are gay" guy was actually pretty respectful beyond the kind of tactless and flat affect, He seems like he actually wanted to hear that persons perspective.
I don't know if that's real, but I think the implication is that Tetra just has a deep tan because she's spent so long on the open sea. It's pretty common in Japanese media for sailors to have tans. (See: Archie's redesign in Alpha Sapphire.)
Still doesn't explain why all of the melanin leaves her body as Zelda, but whatever.
Yeah that’s how I always imagined it. Also turning into Zelda seemed more magical, she changed clothes and hair and skin and etc. I think she literally reverted to a past self. A past self who didn’t have a tan.
I think she magically takes the form and appearance or her ancestor (og daughter of the king) that was white
As opposed to magically changing clothes and reversing her tan.
The Zelda that most acted like Tetra was in Spirit Tracks, which was ironically the Wind Waker sequel that *didn't* feature the same Zelda as the GameCube game.
Yeah I'm fairly positive Patricia S. mentioned in some BotW interviews that it wasn't really meant to sound like any specific accent but just "regal and fairy-tale like" so that's why it all sounds vaguely british but also not.
The implication that the Brits wouldn't colonize a country just because "it's not real" is offensive to my history.
Narnia and Fantasia are crown jewels of the empire.
Zelda's [French VA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGlc68ryPs&t=724) is actually excellent. [Ganon's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoQ32FbfGUc&t=613) is better too; in English he sounds like a gym bro in his late 20s.
People are excited about Matt Mercer as Ganondorf, and I have to wonder if they’ve actually *heard* Matt Mercer as Ganondorf. He does about as good a job with this role as Brennan Lee Mulligan or Griffin McElroy would probably do. It’s pretty much unbearable.
Lol didn't realize that was him. The Japanese voice actor seems to be channeling Norio Wakamoto (who would be the perfect va for the role, though I don't know if he's still working these days), and the French one seems to be following his lead.
The english voice actress bothers me to no end.
It was off putting in breath of the wild, where she sounded like angela lansbury in a period drama compared to the relatively standard if slightly formal cutesy japanese voice.
In tears of the kingdom she looks 12, sounds 40, and her voice never seems to match the vibe of the scene.
Absolutely my least favorite part of open world zeldas.
I have been walking up to my SO playing Zelda saying “is Link…REALLY feeling it??” and “OI WASSAL THIS THEN” because it’s so ridiculous.
I loved the musical silence of OOT and haven’t played since.
I feel like ganondorf is very “there’s always a lighthouse.”
I’m okay with him being somewhat one dimensional.
He represents the triforce of power so he’s ruthless in his attempts to gain power.
I love a tortured villain with a relatable backstory, but not all villains have to be relatable, some can just be villainous.
Nintendo's English voice acting is almost always dogshit. I have no ill will toward the actor, I'm sure she's great, but everything about her performance sounds overbearingly fake, from the accent to the high pitch. I feel like she would have done a much better job if she spoke in her regular voice.
I don’t know whose incompetent nephew was put in charge of casting the VAs for this game.
The first thing I did with both games is change the dialogue audio to Japanese. I don’t know if the Japanese voice acting is good, but pretty much anything is better than the English voice acting.
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Woman on left is Zelda ancestor and at the time they were all darker skin tones. When you look, every other race in the game has stayed exactly the same visually. But Zelda is the only one of fair skin, and since dark skin is a more dominant trait, it begs the question if everyone in that kingdom look like that and how their appearance changed so much. But to us in the real world we can go, genetics/genetic mutation/mixing dUH
A quick search on Youtube gives me two main theories on that. One, they had kids but the kids are irrelevant to the five minutes of screentime we see about the past in the entire game. Two, Nintendo doesn't understand how bloodline can be inherited.
There's also another extension of the first theory that says the hybrid kids are too much of a furry abomination that Nintendo wasn't allowed to show them, on pain of raising the age limit of the game to 18+.
Who can tell which theory will be confirmed in the next Hyrule Historia.
My hypothesis is that >!Sonia has a sibling who assumed the throne after she died and Rauru gave his life to imprison Ganondorf. Zelda is actually Sonia's great x 999 niece. She says that they share blood, not that Zelda is her descendent.!<
They recognize Zelda having both Sonia's time powers and Rauru's light powers. Mineru doesn't have Rauru's light power, so if Rauru doesn't have kids, presumably his evil-sealing power of light is gone from this world. They have kids.
>!The woman on the left is Zelda's ancestor, and her husband is... Not human, but also very dark-skinned. So it's kinda weird that their direct descendant is so white!<
"Why are you white, straight, cis, able-bodied..." *Continues to list majority traits for 10 minutes uninterrupted*
Gamers who say "I bet they'll make them a black transgender lesbian in a wheelchair" about everything: *slowly crumbles into a powder as they are forced to notice that the absence of minorities is still a demographic*
PSA: Make it a habit of **reading the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Gamingcirclejerk/about/rules)** of each subreddit you participate in: **Rule 7: No Participation in Linked Threads (Brigading)**: *If you are coming here to brigade this sub, you will be banned. Likewise, do not make comments and vote in pages you've found here. Of course, if you're a member of said sub and you were already in the thread before, this doesn't apply to you.* **Rule 8: Censor Screenshots**: *Keep screenshots of arguments on Reddit to a minimum. Please remember to censor screenshots of all identifying information, i.e usernames* **and** *subreddit names. This applies to screenshots from any social media sites.* **Rule 11: Keep Posts Relevant**: *This is first and foremost a place to make fun of gamers. Just because someone is being a bigot online doesn't mean it belongs here. Let them be pathetic without infecting the sub with their nonsense. Please avoid posting screenshots that show people using capital G gamer slurs.* **If absolutely necessary, please censor posts and the words containing such content.** **Rule 12: No Fake Posts on Other Subs (Contamination)**: *Do not create fake posts on other subs only to post back here. Also, do not "lol, you should post this on r / OtherSub". It's considered interfering with their content and can also lead to brigading.* *This is a reminder to the readers. The post itself is untouched.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Gamingcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can't just ask people why they're white!
Karen!
UMMMM ACKSHUALLY. Shes descended from a literal goddess, how could she not be white? Like Jesus.
Jesus wasn't white
yeah he was, i'm a good american christian who thinks we should nuke the middle east (so we can spread democracy and Christianity)
You show me ONE non white Egyptian, go ahead, I'll wait. Everyone knows Jesus was pale white and had dreadlocks because he was really into Rastafarianism.
jesus was a stoner cope and seethe l*breals
Are you there ja?
Coptic Christians seething right now.
r/whoosh
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It's a Mean Girls reference
"Can't you see, Rauru? She's clearly our descendant!" "Sorry, Sonia. You'll have to forgive me, the navy-blue goat-dragon man, for not immediately recognizing this strange white woman as my offspring."
"Deal with it Rauru, goat-dragon is a recessive trait"
>!Well, maybe the goat part…!<
"I was the Queen of Hyrule. I built this entire kingdom with my own bare hands. I fought Ganondorf and gave my life for this land. But does anyone in the future remember me as Queen Sonia? No. But ya fuck one goat..."
Why couldn't we have donkey dragon 😢
>!It may be a bit hard to swallow!<
Reminds me of Fear Factor getting cancelled because they had an episode where a bunch of attractive ladies had to drink bowls of goat cum. And Joe Rogan is on the sides saying shit like "slurp it all up". Got a weird boner watching that episode though.
what the fuck
According to Wikipedia it was Donkey Semen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_Factor#Controversy Edit: Found a clip of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk6KiP7iQgo
I don't know if anyone ever told you this but you don't have to tell every stranger about every weird thing you're into.
That's where Joe Rogan started? Damn
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Tearing up in the kingdom, so to speak?
😭
That sucks. If it was the dominant trait, rauru could peg me in the ass
>!Also, you died childless so what the fuck!<
Yo, right? Or they had a kid but just absolutely never mentioned it??
They keep it locked up in the dungeon.
Sonia remarried and had kids for the sole purpose of procreation (so that her great^10 grandkid can come back and bootstrap the whole thing)
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She's the sage of time. I'm sure she had something figured out
I thought Zelda is the sage of time? Actually, don't answer that. I only unlocked the sage of wind so far - but i the cutscenes, where the 6 sages are mentioned, there's Zelda
This is not really a spoiler based on this thread so don't worry. Sonia is the sage of time, Rauru is the sage of light. Zelda as a descendant of both contains the essence of both but she also primarily identifies as the sage of time. It's the same sage energy just existing in the same moment. Her canonical embodiment of a sage across the games is of "wisdom" which is combining light and time.
Sonia has time powers, but is never given the title of "sage". Zelda is the only sage of time.
The fandom wiki lists her as a sage, but you may actually be on to something now I think about it. >!Were they calling themselves "sages" before Sonia gets assassinated or were they only the sages after coming together to fight ganon holding the stone?!<
I’ve been wondering about this one. I haven’t totally finished the game, but I’m not optimistic about the whole “tan elf + bipedal goat = white elf” thing getting explained.
Why does it need a specific explanation? It's not like Zelda is their child. There's like over 10,000 years between them. Do you realize the number of generations between them? I would bet very few of us have many specific traits in common with our ancestors from 10,000 years ago.
10,000 years ago was the first calamity. The imprisoning war was LONG before that.
I thought so which is why I said "like over". I knew it had been an *absolute minimum* of that long and thought it was longer.
Probably significantly over 10,000 years, given that their time period has a completely different aesthetic. I'd guess 20,000 years just to make it feel more symmetrical.
The >!Half-Zonai Half-Hylian ancestor to Link you unlock as an outfit for completing all the shrines which is heavily implied to be the hero fighting Calamity Ganon alongside the Guardians in BOTW's Tapestry!< also confirms that the shift from Zonai to Hylian is a lot more well-documented than we thought.
Zelda just doesn't get as much sun is all
>!could be that Sophia didn't die in Zelda's original timeline, but her being sent back somehow causes Sophia's death? It's a stretch!<
>!Except that explanation then prevents Zelda’s return to the future from being possible, as her method only works if she went back to earlier in the same timeline.!<
Your spoiler tag is broken
Weird, I’m pretty sure it was working on my laptop but clearly not on my phone. Fixed.
>!Then Zelda had a child with Rauru to preserve her own bloodline!<
Maybe they had a child that did not appear in the game.
why are you gay
Who says I’m gay?
YOU are gay!
The tattoo on your lower back.
😳😳😳 how’d you find out?!
They eat the poo-poo!
That's a different guy, that guy's a vile bigot. The "You are gay" guy was actually pretty respectful beyond the kind of tactless and flat affect, He seems like he actually wanted to hear that persons perspective.
I don't know, why are you POLITICAL, SONIA?
That's not Zelda, dickheads! Zelda wears a green hat and swings a sword. SMH my head. Stupid Gen-Z'ers!
Actually, that's Metroid. The one in the OP is Princess Halo. Easy mistake to make if you're not one of us hardcore gamers 😎
Nah youre thinking of master chef from fortnite. He has this quote when he cranks 90s "every warthog has its halo"
No you’re thinking of Master Chef with Gordon Ramsay where amateur chefs compete for a chance to have a cookbook published and win money
I'm pretty sure Gordon Ramsays' show is Kitchen Nightmares It's about people who have nightmares when they sleep in their kitchen.
You must be mistaken. That guy [crawls a lot,](https://www.zeldadungeon.net/Zelda09/Walkthrough/01/007.png) and everything knows Metroid can't crawl.
Yeah right no way he's not Link!
Remember in Wind Waker when they literally white-washed Zelda?
Aenuma said her skin was darker as Tetra because she had pirate scurvy.
For real or are you being silly
I don't know if that's real, but I think the implication is that Tetra just has a deep tan because she's spent so long on the open sea. It's pretty common in Japanese media for sailors to have tans. (See: Archie's redesign in Alpha Sapphire.) Still doesn't explain why all of the melanin leaves her body as Zelda, but whatever.
I think she takes the form and appearance or her ancestor that was white temporarily, as well as temporarily gaining a her ancestor's dress
The Ancient Power of the White Woman was finally unlocked
Yeah that’s how I always imagined it. Also turning into Zelda seemed more magical, she changed clothes and hair and skin and etc. I think she literally reverted to a past self. A past self who didn’t have a tan.
I think she magically takes the form and appearance or her ancestor (og daughter of the king) that was white As opposed to magically changing clothes and reversing her tan.
I genuinely hate that i don't know if this is a joke or not. POES LAW IS TOO RELEVANT. (talk about a poet ahead of his time)
Schrödinger's skin?
Is this fucking real
I just kinda assumed it was from being in the sun all day
Guess you could say there was an issue with the.... ( •_• )>⌐■-■ (⌐▨_▨) ...cell shading.
Bravo
Wind waker Zelda just made me mad because tetra and Zelda don't act like they were literally the same person
They both think shooting you is a good way to solve problems
Bless that she didn't lose that in the transformation
The Zelda that most acted like Tetra was in Spirit Tracks, which was ironically the Wind Waker sequel that *didn't* feature the same Zelda as the GameCube game.
Why is she British tho?
The Hyrule bloodline went from Irish with Sonia to Br*tish with Zelda colonisation is real
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I know, but it sounded to me like she put on a slight accent Coming from someone who lives in Ireland btw
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Idk it sounded like it sometimes but yeah other times it did sound English so I'm not really sure lol
I'm pretty sure everyone was directed to put on a sort of fairy tale voice which is why everyone sounds kinda off.
Yeah I'm fairly positive Patricia S. mentioned in some BotW interviews that it wasn't really meant to sound like any specific accent but just "regal and fairy-tale like" so that's why it all sounds vaguely british but also not.
That would probably make sense yeah
I always play with the Japanese VO because I can’t stand the fake accents of the English actors.
The implication that the Brits wouldn't colonize a country just because "it's not real" is offensive to my history. Narnia and Fantasia are crown jewels of the empire.
Middle Earth as well.
Why did you censor the word British?
Why didn't you 
Because otherwise she's French
Zelda's [French VA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGlc68ryPs&t=724) is actually excellent. [Ganon's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoQ32FbfGUc&t=613) is better too; in English he sounds like a gym bro in his late 20s.
People are excited about Matt Mercer as Ganondorf, and I have to wonder if they’ve actually *heard* Matt Mercer as Ganondorf. He does about as good a job with this role as Brennan Lee Mulligan or Griffin McElroy would probably do. It’s pretty much unbearable.
the voice director for the english dub is just terrible. everyone sounds like shit (in particular zelda lmao)
Lol didn't realize that was him. The Japanese voice actor seems to be channeling Norio Wakamoto (who would be the perfect va for the role, though I don't know if he's still working these days), and the French one seems to be following his lead.
The english voice actress bothers me to no end. It was off putting in breath of the wild, where she sounded like angela lansbury in a period drama compared to the relatively standard if slightly formal cutesy japanese voice. In tears of the kingdom she looks 12, sounds 40, and her voice never seems to match the vibe of the scene. Absolutely my least favorite part of open world zeldas.
Same, the british accents just don't work for me with this setting. But at least they're not as aggressively posh as, say, Xenoblade though...
I have been walking up to my SO playing Zelda saying “is Link…REALLY feeling it??” and “OI WASSAL THIS THEN” because it’s so ridiculous. I loved the musical silence of OOT and haven’t played since.
Well OOT (and most 3d Zeldas) just has much better sound design across the board. Probably the thing I miss most playing the open world Zeldas.
Xenoblade aggressively posh? Have you met Eunie?
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Oh snap that’s gonna be good.
Ganondorf isnt a complicated enough character, he's the king of evil and is evil because being evil is what he is king of.
I feel like ganondorf is very “there’s always a lighthouse.” I’m okay with him being somewhat one dimensional. He represents the triforce of power so he’s ruthless in his attempts to gain power. I love a tortured villain with a relatable backstory, but not all villains have to be relatable, some can just be villainous.
Oh, i love ganondorf for what he is, its just the VO work is wasted on him.
It isn’t…
Nintendo's English voice acting is almost always dogshit. I have no ill will toward the actor, I'm sure she's great, but everything about her performance sounds overbearingly fake, from the accent to the high pitch. I feel like she would have done a much better job if she spoke in her regular voice.
I don’t know whose incompetent nephew was put in charge of casting the VAs for this game. The first thing I did with both games is change the dialogue audio to Japanese. I don’t know if the Japanese voice acting is good, but pretty much anything is better than the English voice acting.
Sounds Japanese to me
Big L not playing the game in Japanese with subs.
Weeb
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Out of curiosity, what's the context
It's an edit, she doesn't actually say that
That's what the liberal media want you to think
Thats what those democrats are saying to raise my taxes
It's true I'm the taxes
the woman on the left is zelda's very, very distant ancestor
Woman on left is Zelda ancestor and at the time they were all darker skin tones. When you look, every other race in the game has stayed exactly the same visually. But Zelda is the only one of fair skin, and since dark skin is a more dominant trait, it begs the question if everyone in that kingdom look like that and how their appearance changed so much. But to us in the real world we can go, genetics/genetic mutation/mixing dUH
Also possible she's just heavily tanned. I get pale as fuck when I dont get out for a while, but get darker than Sonia when I get tanned
Zelda was inside for 100 years, makes for a pasty complexion
Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they're white
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A quick search on Youtube gives me two main theories on that. One, they had kids but the kids are irrelevant to the five minutes of screentime we see about the past in the entire game. Two, Nintendo doesn't understand how bloodline can be inherited. There's also another extension of the first theory that says the hybrid kids are too much of a furry abomination that Nintendo wasn't allowed to show them, on pain of raising the age limit of the game to 18+. Who can tell which theory will be confirmed in the next Hyrule Historia.
My hypothesis is that >!Sonia has a sibling who assumed the throne after she died and Rauru gave his life to imprison Ganondorf. Zelda is actually Sonia's great x 999 niece. She says that they share blood, not that Zelda is her descendent.!<
They recognize Zelda having both Sonia's time powers and Rauru's light powers. Mineru doesn't have Rauru's light power, so if Rauru doesn't have kids, presumably his evil-sealing power of light is gone from this world. They have kids.
>!Minish Cap!< Zelda has Rauru's ">!light that seals the darkness!<" ability. It fits perfectly into the hyrule historia timeline.
Reddit doesn't have Discord's spoiler tags. You use \>!this, instead!<
The face Ganondorf made in that scene still makes me giggle
Ariel, you fucking salmon, you can’t just ask people why they’re white!
Zonia 😍😍😍😍
Damn I want their hair
I'm just constantly distracted by how beautiful Ganon and Sonia are in every memory lol
Rauru and Sonia look like a couple of middle aged swingers that like your vibe and wanna talk more.
My wife and I noticed you from across the shrine and we really like your vibe
WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE
Oh my god Sonia, you can't just ask people why they're white!
I was ok with people making fun of everyone but whites. NOW WERE MAKING FUN OF WHITES? TO FAR JAPAN😡😡😡😡😡😡
I thought Zelda was the guy on the cover of the game.
nah that's captain picard
MAN CAN YALL SPOILER THIS SHIT 😭
Giving me “why are you gae?!” Vibes
'cause whitey's on the Moon.
uj/ What is the context? I don't play Zelda
>!The woman on the left is Zelda's ancestor, and her husband is... Not human, but also very dark-skinned. So it's kinda weird that their direct descendant is so white!<
Please tell me that they actually say that in the game
That's an edit. They don't actually say that
Sadly not.
Not really, being dark skinned could just be a trait that got phased out from the family through generations of them having pale partners.
Who is the character on the left?
Zelda's distant ancestor, according to other comments. I'm too inde to play Nintendo games myself.
Thank you, I don't really play nintendo games but I think the characters are neat.
Zelda is black in the spoof series, 'The Legend Of Neil'. Neil (Link knockoff) even says, "You're black?"
"Why are you white, straight, cis, able-bodied..." *Continues to list majority traits for 10 minutes uninterrupted* Gamers who say "I bet they'll make them a black transgender lesbian in a wheelchair" about everything: *slowly crumbles into a powder as they are forced to notice that the absence of minorities is still a demographic*
Zelda master race /s
Man, shouldn't this be marked as spoilers? I know it's not an actual line ingame, but I wish there wasn't story footage of a game that just came out
Is it **not** OK to be white? 😠 It's 2023 until when do we need to keep suffering?
They're both hylian right? Why are those ears so damn huge ?
they’re more than 10.000 years apart so it could be the trait changing over generations
uj: is this real i cant tell
Nope, they said elsewhere it's an edit.
She never said this
Zelda sitcom when?
I'm not sure if this is an important spoiler
Unlimited genocide on Hyrule Long live Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Ganonism
I'm pretty sure Sonia was native to Lurelin, or at least that part of Hyrule, hence the darker skin tone.
Funny stuff coming from the furry!!!
Imagine Zelda quoting some Turk guy from that one debate video