cant imagine how useless he is around the house.
reminds me of that clip where bill's laughing bc bert gets confused in arguments with his wife.
"what was my point again??"
My husband asks me why I don't like him- I like a lot of male comedians and I even showed him most... But I just can't stand Bert. Something about his essence won't let me enjoy a single moment of his comedy because he sounds like such a chore and unsustainable asshole.
His wife was on the pod once and she ripped bert to pieces. She definitely wears the pants in the relationship. This is Berts way of feeling like a big boy. He talks such a big game, but you know he's the biggest baby
I loved that episode. She called him on ALL of his shit. From the way he lies about EVERYTHING to all of his disgusting habits at home and the way he treats his daughters. I used to be a big fan along with my wife but not anymore. Tom and Christina have slipped too, haven't been able to listen to the pod for the last year or two...
He never stopped trying to be the guy rolling stone wrote about.
He was the biggest partier in the USA, and he's clinging to that like Al Bundy and Polk High Football.
I agree with this whole heartedly. I'd only knew him from his machine bit. Then he was in my town and I figured what the heck. My wife and I recently enjoyed another comedian.
And like his jokes were off putting it's always "hey gang I'm a sloppy alcoholic and drug addict who'll fuck up this pta meeting isn't that quirky?" And it boarders between sad and abusive on what he self reports.
I liked him before he made that joke in a special about his daughters walking in and seeing his dick and that if they’re gonna see his dick he wants it to be “good dick”. Like what??? These are young girls and you’re being a creep. I just couldn’t do it after that.
Same here... I also find it unfair how often Bert uses his daughters as the punchline. They didn't consent to that. And the shirtless bit isn't funny anymore. Neither is the alcoholism.
Clearly that may not be the case for much longer. I know dudes a drunk but he’s bashing her to the public like that. It’s probably what he wished he said when she told him he’s a drunk loser and lucky he’s famous.
"Yeah! With **MY** money!" - Bert's internal monolog
Sincerely, dude, your only job is to live your passion and be creative.. why are you so bitter about getting to do basically everything you set out to accomplish?!
Because it's not enough. His wife and kids don't respect him because he makes a fool of himself for a living and now he's trying to get respect back and it's too late. He probably sees how people around him have wives and children who respect them and he wants that. But he still wants to be the drunk and party guy.
The few times I’ve caught him on other pods all I hear him say about his kids is how he was never around because he was always away working.. Greed is not the best trait for a parent.
That was like his main punchline for like 4 years. He had to have done the "period party" bit at every show across the United States multiple times. You can hear it yourself on multiple late night talk shows and dozens of recorded stand up shows. It was his next go-to bit after the Russian story got old.
The "my money" thing is what gets me. When you have a family it's not about your money, it's about your families money. I wish i had a fraction of the money this idiot gets for being an abnoxious unfunny loser to better support the ones I care about. His comedy sucks, and the more I see of him I see he also sucks.
Joke or not, how can you say *your family is worthless* without you and not realize you're an asshole? Jesus Christ man, dude needs to fire his therapist.
Brother man he’s a comedian!! They are the last free thinkers we have. Without them our world would crumble and wokeness will take over and our kids will all become trans!!!
That’s why we need these guys to talk like this everyday. Smh looks like you have fallen victim to cancel culture
/s (if it wasn’t clear)
He's milked the Russia thing till it was dead. The only other source for his comedy is his family. The joke is that Leeann is a saint and he's a total disaster.
Bert's take on this is dog shit but I don't think you can compare "Single mom" and "Single mom that has 400% her financial needs met". It's not the same struggle.
Yeah after that first line, Tom looked over like “dude your about to say this shit in public?” Toms definitely heard that rant 1 on 1 before, but said in a less “comedic” tone.
Sober Bert would be the second best salesman at the used Dodge dealership in Kansas City who never shuts up about how cool he was in college and thinks his story about a school trip to Russia is his slam dunk story to close deals.
https://preview.redd.it/kbx1cz4yhg6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85e99d69853afba9d2569b138d890ca5995f53b1
That look you get when your friend says some wild shit in public and you’re trying to laugh it off because if you don’t it means you have to have a seriously uncomfortable conversation with them about their life decisions.
He's a joke, but that's not the same. Comedy is in abysmal shape when dudes like him are considered successful. Damn right I'm jealous of that money when so many good people struggle. We're rewarding all the wrong personality traits.
I think that the podcaster comedian trend is very unique right now. Eventually the podcast market will settle and change but I think a lot of people will look back at the podcaster comedian phenomenon.
I also think a lot of them are self conscious about the fact that they make their living off podcasting and not standup. Podcasting is awesome and can be fucking hilarious. But also you get moments like this.
The cumtown dudes are a great example because they talked about the fact that they podcast and that it’s fun but not the best.
I think the main problem is that they all still see themselves as "underdog" comedians, which simply does not work when you have a couple million followers and are committed an echochamber of comedians that feel the same way that all prop each other up.
I'm not even saying they aren't "true" comedians or anything like that, but there's some delusion regarding their success and their quality in there.
What's even more perverse is that Bert is most popular among people who are struggling. Because they feel an illusionary connection to him. Because he shows all their worst traits. They glorify him to redeem themselves, like some kind of loser-jesus.
It’s just pure, dumb luck. There are 10,000 other Burnt Chryslers out there right now just as drunk and just as talentless but their families kicked them out of the house years ago.
12 days in here. Had to go to a detox facility. That was one of the worst weeks of my life. Never want to do it again. Congrats to you man. I hope we both make it through.
> There are 10,000 other Burnt Chryslers out there right now just as drunk and just as talentless but their families kicked them out of the house years ago.
Well, that helps me understand the pure resentment Brett is showing here. 100% the only reason he's kept around, otherwise she'd leave him and marry a cop or a car salesman.
He's not a good comedian, I've seen local open micers with funnier material but he does fill a niche.
There are loads of great big fat, drunk middle aged men in the USA who's best years were in college and their life went rapidly downhill after graduation.
Burt is sort of the embodiment of trying to stay 22 forever, and whilst most people find it cringe and sad, he appeals to that base of fat old frat boys missing their golden years.
He also had that one machine clip go viral. And he's connected in the industry.
I’ll tell you how he achieved this level of success it’s a very simple plan that all people can follow to the same result: Hard work, dedication, and a rich father to bail you out or cut a check every time you fuck up.
In all seriousness, Van Widler will forever be cooler than the man he was based upon.
yeah, he uses them all it seems. Even Sober October, was a farce. They were all doing it to help him and he was doing it to get fame from Rogan. he's terrible on the show...no coincidence he's not a part of PPP. Anyway, i don't want to completely rag on the guy. There are worse comedians and people in the world. Just wish he could be real. I do think he has potential, but its always fake sounding stories that he swears are true and self promotion.
I first became a fan of Bert because he had great travel stories. Then he had that infamous phone call with Joe in Vietnam or whatever and it’s been down hill ever since.
I remember years ago reddit pumped the ever living shit out of his The Machine bit, and I have never once thought it was funny. I feel like his target audience are basically the same people who think The Hangover is the funniest movie ever made.
12 years ago any comic on JRE would automatically get a massive following. Bert was introduced to the JRE audience around that time. After gifting us such luminaries as Brendan Schaub the JRE bump declined. I believe Mark Normand even said he barely gets a bump after going on the show.
Ngl, I heard of Bert from a random reel/clip about the machine years ago.
Then watched him, and genuinely enjoyed his comedy. I still do, but I feel a bit of “Bert fatigue”.
It’s like… having a toddler around 24/7. It’s fun at first but can get draining. You still love it but you just want it to go away.
Then after it’s gone a while, you see it again, and you appreciate it again.
Bert’s a narcissist who realizes his daughters have zero respect for him because he’s an absent father and all he has to show for it is that he pays the bills.
Kids don’t care who pays the bills if their parent is never home and for the short time they are home are drunk and being a selfish fat disgusting douchebag.
Nothing worse than parents who act like their children owe them for paying for their childhoods. Like, motherfucker, you made this person, it is your responsibility to pay for them until they’re grown. Don’t like it? Wear a condom
Not to mention Bert would collapse if he had to actually parent for a day. Like, if you think your wife did nothing by forgoing any sort of career for herself and raising your children, you're a fucking asshole.
Not only do kids not care who pays the bills, they will despise you even more if you are able to pay all the bills easily and don't spend time with them. Children grow up and typically come to understand the sacrifices parents made to scrape by even if it cost them family time.
Exactly this, don’t forget also they all pleaded with him to get his health under control. Then he doubled down. It’s not like they don’t love him, they can’t fathom having to bury their dad from a preventable situation, and are beginning to drift away to make it more bearable
Shit like this is why I barely have a relationship with my father at age 37.
I love him because he's my father, and I'm nothing but grateful for how he provided for our family; but it doesn't change the missed birthdays and life events. Doesn't change the apathy towards my interests and hobbies, the constant criticism of everything I did, right or wrong. I saw that same resentment towards my mother because my sister and I actually had a relationship with her.
He calls his wife useless on a massive platform and thinks he's in the right. Fuck him.
I think a lot of people (men in particular) fall into this trap because what people outwardly tell you they want doesnt always align with what they actually need deep down. People will often be MUCH more outwardly appreciative of being given gifts than they will when you spend time with them. Like if you give someone a gift they will say thank you nearly 100% of the time but its rare for someone to tell you how much they appreciate you sitting down and having dinner with them. They may even resist it and grumble that theyd rather be doing something else.
You can easily start to associate buying presents, nice house, cars, toys, vacations, etc as serving your family and making them happy. So you work and work and work to get them every little thing they could ever possibly want and they continually drift away from you. Eventually you get this type of resentment boiling over because you feel like youve done everything within your power to make them happy and they keep drifting further and further away
And it especially doesn't help when you have someone like Bert whos stubborn and has very little self awareness.
I’m sure he’s had one or two conversations about his drinking behavior with his wife… that sounds like internal resentment and disdain. It wasn’t a bit.
Tom has let the money get to his head and Bert is a narcissist and just not funny. Nikki Glaser was right, we all love his joke and "he takes his shirt off....shirts are supposed to stay on". That's all he has.
I love how 99.99% of all comments after TB roast was those two bombed and they suck.
week later Bert said on his podcast "I didn't heard a single negative comment about our set".
lmao
It's because they're so mentally warped at this point that they disregard the opinions of the ones that actively consume and provide the revenue for the content they create, in favor of the obvious and safe critiques of their industry peers.
They don't even register feedback from the people they're making the content for as valid or legitimate. They've programmed themselves to see any negative feedback as *something someone that's lonely and miserable in their mom's basement* sent and nothing more.
I think they haven't liked their fans in a long time and that's why they've been branching out to other business ventures. They took the fan's money and now they're trying to run with it, all because the fans had the audacity to speak their minds when the product became noticeably half-assed and lackluster.
It's funny that they talk about the entitlement of online commenters because I can't think of anything more entitled than willingly profiting off of a very obviously sub tier product and then getting righteously indignant when criticized for it.
I was the biggest stand-up comedy fan for a decade, have seen almost every big comedian you can name at least once, some much more than that. But aside from a handful of standouts, I don't even engage with stand up anymore. It's so over saturated and 95% of comedians have revealed themselves to be pretty insufferable in their daily podcast appearances.
Seems like the comedy boom is winding down now though so I'm hopeful the next generation will get back to writing jokes instead of "monetizing their personal brand*
Any thoughts on Shane Gillis?
I feel exactly the way you’re describing and when I saw Shane’s YT special it was like a light clicking on. “This is what’s been missing.”
Every time I see Bert I think to myself "Jesus christ he did a sold out arena tour??" Who in the fuck are the people selling out ARENAS for Bert Chrysler. Look like who you like but God damn that's an expensive ticket to see a drunk guy ramble
OK, hear me out. I know that at the end of the day Bert is responsible for himself, but this is painful to watch. This is like 8 different types and layers of addiction with a cherry of narcissism on top. He's had so many moments of realization where he's fucking up. Him and Chris Distefano sobbing about missing every important moment of their families lives. His story about telling his dad that he's doing what his dad did: eat shit cash checks, and his dad admitting that he failed Bert as a father. Brutal stuff. This is another example of Berts internal fight to justify his desperate need for fame by saying it's all for his family. He's fucking up big time, but I can at least see where this is coming from.
Tom on the other hand, what the hell. I don't expect him to force Bert into rehab, or eat right, or generally live his life for him. But he definitely has the power to say "don't put this on the air. This is fucked". You could even see it on his face when Bert said it that this is going too far. At least with all of the other crazy shit Bert says there is an air of humor, this one just comes off as bitter and angry and will certainly fuck with his family relationship. This is stuff you say in private when you need to vent and say terrible things, not something to share to the rest of the world
I'm telling you, just from my limited outside perspective, since I never got into their podcast and have only seen some of Tom's specials, from what I've seen, Bert is just a wild animal, and Tom is just a stone cold psychopath. If anyone has a chance to get through to Bert, it'd be Tom. And it always looks like Tom just lets him go, thinking "no no, this will be hilarious."
Yeah if you're going to have someone do a personal therapy session in public, it's your duty to push back as a therapist would, reframe shit. Give them an exit.
But idk this might be a bit. Doesn't look like it, but maybe that's part of it. I'd argue it's not cool either way.
I like tom, but I hate everyone around him. I quit your mom's house like 2-3 years ago because I couldn't stand Tom's wife any longer. Also his show became just laughing at weirdos, and I wonder if that's just what tom seeks is weirdos blowing up their lives.
> I quit your mom's house like 2-3 years ago because I couldn't stand Tom's wife any longer. Also his show became just laughing at weirdos
That pod went from sorta funny and odd to straight up "lets mock people online nonstop".
Not my cuppa.
Yeah, and Christina was constantly "kids these days are so dumb" and then talking about the kids nanny and how she only learned how to wipe as a 40 year old woman. It couldn't be more stereotypically just kinda undeserving aristocratic dumb bitch wife material
I never really got into touch my camera thru the fence. 2 bears was always more fun than YMH at least for ep1-80~ then once they realized Chappelle was hosting live events and Austin was taking off they just recorded 5 episodes at once and stopped giving a shit.
> layers of addiction
Definitely.
Bert here is just saying out loud the internal argument he’s had in his head 1000 times after his wife has questioned his alcoholism.
Hes gonna take the Uncle Joey route and only realize the error of his ways when its too late and the loved ones around him wont pick up his calls anymore. Friends are cool and they're fun to share a laugh, but it isnt family.
A lot of us are lucky to have learned this before it was too late....I could have ended up in that same situation and was definitely heading there at warp speed for a long time.
Somehow she’s his mommy and she’s also “fucking useless”? Somehow she is raising THEIR kids but she’s fucking useless? If Bert stepped away, it would be difficult but the wife could probably boss up and they’d probably have a strong community to support them. If the wife walks away, the kids are no longer getting raised….
Imagine having a dad whose view on your existence is this.
My kids are everything. The only reason I matter is because I need to make sure my kids have the best possible lives I can provide. I feel fulfilled as a human being **because** I put my kids before everything else.
I do that in the hopes that they will do the same for their own kids in the future and will get to feel the same sense of fulfillment. It’s impossible to achieve that feeling without making those sacrifices yourself.
I genuinely can’t put myself into the headspace where this is how you view your relationship with your kids.
So this is not reading as a bit.
Also, fellas, your family may treat you like a child if you continuously refuse to address your alcoholism. Making money is not the end all, be all of being a man.
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
These guys used up all their material about 4 years ago and now just enjoy smelling their own farts together.
Why is he fucking complaining? It's his choice. Yeah, run around doing comedy and other shit and leave your wife to raise the kids and you'll end up a bitter middle aged (fat) man that complains you don't have a connection with your children. A man child.
Ironic, as I recently learned that Van Wilder was an adaptation of a spec script originally based on Bert's life of partying at Florida State University.
His first few stand up specials are really funny. I saw him live in Vancouver and he had the whole crowd laughing. This new schtick is unfunny as hell though. Never listened to his podcasts either
Bert getting down to brass tax! But in healthy relationships, you have to take money out of the equation. What does Leeann bring to the table other than cash? I don't need my wife for monetary balance. I need her for keeping my mind on an even keel, helping me make balanced decisions, bouncing ideas off of, and of course, tang.
 Bert when he gets home from tour and sees his family enjoying their lives
“I don’t think they liked my movie about how great I am”
lol they have to be sick of his shit. Leanne starting her own podcast is funnier than any of Bert’s jokes
Do you mean funnier than Bert’s joke?
Ha! Shirts are supposed to stay on, but he takes his off!
Nikki was hands down the best part of that roast, Tony close second
cant imagine how useless he is around the house. reminds me of that clip where bill's laughing bc bert gets confused in arguments with his wife. "what was my point again??"
Probably have to step around wherever he passed out that day
Gets mad that their enjoyment doesn’t revolve around him?
New season dropped btw
Uh oh the mask slipped. Quick! Take your shirt off and wheeze laugh.
This is the Bert those girls see at home
My husband asks me why I don't like him- I like a lot of male comedians and I even showed him most... But I just can't stand Bert. Something about his essence won't let me enjoy a single moment of his comedy because he sounds like such a chore and unsustainable asshole.
His wife was on the pod once and she ripped bert to pieces. She definitely wears the pants in the relationship. This is Berts way of feeling like a big boy. He talks such a big game, but you know he's the biggest baby
Oh dude Leanne is the only reason this guy can even exist in the world. He’s her freaking pet project. I want to see more of her and less of him.
I loved that episode. She called him on ALL of his shit. From the way he lies about EVERYTHING to all of his disgusting habits at home and the way he treats his daughters. I used to be a big fan along with my wife but not anymore. Tom and Christina have slipped too, haven't been able to listen to the pod for the last year or two...
I don't get an asshole vibe from him, I get that more from Tom. With Bert I get a depressed alcoholic vibe.
He never stopped trying to be the guy rolling stone wrote about. He was the biggest partier in the USA, and he's clinging to that like Al Bundy and Polk High Football.
Uncle Rico vibes
Depressed alcoholics are assholes. Rarely is "asshole" an intentional vibe.
I agree with this whole heartedly. I'd only knew him from his machine bit. Then he was in my town and I figured what the heck. My wife and I recently enjoyed another comedian. And like his jokes were off putting it's always "hey gang I'm a sloppy alcoholic and drug addict who'll fuck up this pta meeting isn't that quirky?" And it boarders between sad and abusive on what he self reports.
I liked him before he made that joke in a special about his daughters walking in and seeing his dick and that if they’re gonna see his dick he wants it to be “good dick”. Like what??? These are young girls and you’re being a creep. I just couldn’t do it after that.
Same here... I also find it unfair how often Bert uses his daughters as the punchline. They didn't consent to that. And the shirtless bit isn't funny anymore. Neither is the alcoholism.
Bro is knocking his wife because she had to step up and basically be be a single mom 😂
It's fucking sad
It really is.
LeeAnn is a fucking saint to put up with Bert all the time. I've always liked listening to her on pods.
im genuinely amazed she is still with him.
Clearly that may not be the case for much longer. I know dudes a drunk but he’s bashing her to the public like that. It’s probably what he wished he said when she told him he’s a drunk loser and lucky he’s famous.
Shes basically Sally Field struggling in some late 90's Oxygen movie
She’d be a saint if he was poor, but the pay is so good it just makes regular sense.
All of Bert’s money but you have to live with Bert or half of Bert’s money and you see him for 10 minutes every other week. Choose.
"Yeah! With **MY** money!" - Bert's internal monolog Sincerely, dude, your only job is to live your passion and be creative.. why are you so bitter about getting to do basically everything you set out to accomplish?!
Because it's not enough. His wife and kids don't respect him because he makes a fool of himself for a living and now he's trying to get respect back and it's too late. He probably sees how people around him have wives and children who respect them and he wants that. But he still wants to be the drunk and party guy.
The few times I’ve caught him on other pods all I hear him say about his kids is how he was never around because he was always away working.. Greed is not the best trait for a parent.
Yea talking about your daughters first period on stage sounds like a pretty quick way to lose your family’s respect
Wtf
That was like his main punchline for like 4 years. He had to have done the "period party" bit at every show across the United States multiple times. You can hear it yourself on multiple late night talk shows and dozens of recorded stand up shows. It was his next go-to bit after the Russian story got old.
Bert is Slurms McKenzie.
Alcohol. He’s functionally not happy
Heavy drinking hollows you out over time...
The "my money" thing is what gets me. When you have a family it's not about your money, it's about your families money. I wish i had a fraction of the money this idiot gets for being an abnoxious unfunny loser to better support the ones I care about. His comedy sucks, and the more I see of him I see he also sucks.
Joke or not, how can you say *your family is worthless* without you and not realize you're an asshole? Jesus Christ man, dude needs to fire his therapist.
Therapist?! What, like a bottle of Tito’s??
Tito's you're fired!
Brother man he’s a comedian!! They are the last free thinkers we have. Without them our world would crumble and wokeness will take over and our kids will all become trans!!! That’s why we need these guys to talk like this everyday. Smh looks like you have fallen victim to cancel culture /s (if it wasn’t clear)
This is what I don’t get about people who say “it’s just a joke” or “it’s comedy, don’t take it seriously.” It always comes from a serious place.
He's milked the Russia thing till it was dead. The only other source for his comedy is his family. The joke is that Leeann is a saint and he's a total disaster.
I saw him live a few years ago. He was ass.
Well those 9 Tito’s doubles a day aren’t going to drink themselves! Someone had to step up!
She's already testing the market I reckon, she can't wait till the cunt dies
It’s probably why she lets him get away with being a chronic alcoholic. Anything to speed up the process.
Bert's take on this is dog shit but I don't think you can compare "Single mom" and "Single mom that has 400% her financial needs met". It's not the same struggle.
You can see the anger and resentment in Bert's face. He actually meant that shit.
Yeah after that first line, Tom looked over like “dude your about to say this shit in public?” Toms definitely heard that rant 1 on 1 before, but said in a less “comedic” tone.
lol spot on. Tom heard that before for sure
I was just thinking the whole crew must have heard some crazy shit from drunken Bart
Drunken Bert is just Bert. Sober Bert would be very interesting.
Sober Bert would probably be a senior executive at a bank. We will never know...
That would require far more brains than he possesses.
Sober Bert would be the second best salesman at the used Dodge dealership in Kansas City who never shuts up about how cool he was in college and thinks his story about a school trip to Russia is his slam dunk story to close deals.
Accurate.
Accura
https://preview.redd.it/kbx1cz4yhg6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85e99d69853afba9d2569b138d890ca5995f53b1 That look you get when your friend says some wild shit in public and you’re trying to laugh it off because if you don’t it means you have to have a seriously uncomfortable conversation with them about their life decisions.
He sounds like Adam Carolla 5 years before his divorce
And absolutely no one wants to sound like Adam carrola
Fuckin' A, that was exactly my first thought. More success=more bitterness.
Yeah he wasn’t joking
He’s never joking
lol
funniest thing I heard all day
He's a joke, but that's not the same. Comedy is in abysmal shape when dudes like him are considered successful. Damn right I'm jealous of that money when so many good people struggle. We're rewarding all the wrong personality traits.
I think that the podcaster comedian trend is very unique right now. Eventually the podcast market will settle and change but I think a lot of people will look back at the podcaster comedian phenomenon. I also think a lot of them are self conscious about the fact that they make their living off podcasting and not standup. Podcasting is awesome and can be fucking hilarious. But also you get moments like this. The cumtown dudes are a great example because they talked about the fact that they podcast and that it’s fun but not the best.
I think the main problem is that they all still see themselves as "underdog" comedians, which simply does not work when you have a couple million followers and are committed an echochamber of comedians that feel the same way that all prop each other up. I'm not even saying they aren't "true" comedians or anything like that, but there's some delusion regarding their success and their quality in there.
What's even more perverse is that Bert is most popular among people who are struggling. Because they feel an illusionary connection to him. Because he shows all their worst traits. They glorify him to redeem themselves, like some kind of loser-jesus.
Exactly. Amd he's everything they bitch about. College partier towards a useless degree for a majority of his late teens and early 20s
I’m sure Leanne loves this clip.
Can we get a second youtube channel of LeAnne and Tom's wife (I forget names). Talking about them. \*buys popcorn and prays for the kids\*
Tom’s wife is equally as cringe as him if not worse lol
I wouldn't consider them cringe But they are definitely 2 peas in a pod Like if Tom is a serial killer , Kristen finds and brings the victims to him
Christina
Good thing he’s on roids now, while also drinking the same amount. That will definitely not cause any anger issues.
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed
Father's like him are why therapists are overworked
I will never understand the succes Bert has achieved. However, this is the first honest thing he's said in a long time.
It’s just pure, dumb luck. There are 10,000 other Burnt Chryslers out there right now just as drunk and just as talentless but their families kicked them out of the house years ago.
We all know a drunk that’s got a funny story but wears it out very quickly.
All the drunks I know have either gotten sober or died.
Yup, that was my choice. Easy choice for some of us.
8 days in. Had to make the right choice eventually
12 days in here. Had to go to a detox facility. That was one of the worst weeks of my life. Never want to do it again. Congrats to you man. I hope we both make it through.
Alcohol withdrawal is worse than people think
I’m 1.5 years in and I can tell you it’ll go really fast if you can get through the first 3-6 months. You got this homie!
Dying is very easy. I do it every day!
Hey I’m drunk and talentless. Do I have to take my shirt off to get my own podcast?
Hah! That’s funny cause like… shirts are supposed to stay on.
Burnt Chryslers - genius!!! 🤣
It’s mostly dumb luck. He’s relatively entertaining in his delivery, and is confident in front of a crowd, but he’s a one or two trick pony.
> There are 10,000 other Burnt Chryslers out there right now just as drunk and just as talentless but their families kicked them out of the house years ago. Well, that helps me understand the pure resentment Brett is showing here. 100% the only reason he's kept around, otherwise she'd leave him and marry a cop or a car salesman.
I feel seen... Should I start a podcast?
He's not a good comedian, I've seen local open micers with funnier material but he does fill a niche. There are loads of great big fat, drunk middle aged men in the USA who's best years were in college and their life went rapidly downhill after graduation. Burt is sort of the embodiment of trying to stay 22 forever, and whilst most people find it cringe and sad, he appeals to that base of fat old frat boys missing their golden years. He also had that one machine clip go viral. And he's connected in the industry.
I’ll tell you how he achieved this level of success it’s a very simple plan that all people can follow to the same result: Hard work, dedication, and a rich father to bail you out or cut a check every time you fuck up. In all seriousness, Van Widler will forever be cooler than the man he was based upon.
And despite what he says in this clip, probably the support of the woman who raised his kids and took care of him. Dude's a cunt.
Well yeah, he's a wet brain fucking animal.
He made friends with Tom and Joe. That's his secret to success.
yeah, he uses them all it seems. Even Sober October, was a farce. They were all doing it to help him and he was doing it to get fame from Rogan. he's terrible on the show...no coincidence he's not a part of PPP. Anyway, i don't want to completely rag on the guy. There are worse comedians and people in the world. Just wish he could be real. I do think he has potential, but its always fake sounding stories that he swears are true and self promotion.
He was a cool guy 10 years ago on his Theme Park tv shows, but Fame, like all the other people, has gotten to his head.
I first became a fan of Bert because he had great travel stories. Then he had that infamous phone call with Joe in Vietnam or whatever and it’s been down hill ever since.
His fans in the US got him there, Look at the fans who follow this guy. The majority of them look like Bert.
so basically every guy from high school you never wanted to see again
I remember years ago reddit pumped the ever living shit out of his The Machine bit, and I have never once thought it was funny. I feel like his target audience are basically the same people who think The Hangover is the funniest movie ever made.
Rogan can WILL some people to short term success because Rogan fans are lowkey dick riders. lmao
12 years ago any comic on JRE would automatically get a massive following. Bert was introduced to the JRE audience around that time. After gifting us such luminaries as Brendan Schaub the JRE bump declined. I believe Mark Normand even said he barely gets a bump after going on the show.
Ngl, I heard of Bert from a random reel/clip about the machine years ago. Then watched him, and genuinely enjoyed his comedy. I still do, but I feel a bit of “Bert fatigue”. It’s like… having a toddler around 24/7. It’s fun at first but can get draining. You still love it but you just want it to go away. Then after it’s gone a while, you see it again, and you appreciate it again.
He's the modern Dane cook, his fans are mostly raunchy teenage boys who ask their parents to bring them to his shows.
dane cook's fans were mostly college age women. At least that's how I remember it
Early 20s female Dane Cook fan way back when.
Bert’s a narcissist who realizes his daughters have zero respect for him because he’s an absent father and all he has to show for it is that he pays the bills. Kids don’t care who pays the bills if their parent is never home and for the short time they are home are drunk and being a selfish fat disgusting douchebag.
Nothing worse than parents who act like their children owe them for paying for their childhoods. Like, motherfucker, you made this person, it is your responsibility to pay for them until they’re grown. Don’t like it? Wear a condom
Not to mention Bert would collapse if he had to actually parent for a day. Like, if you think your wife did nothing by forgoing any sort of career for herself and raising your children, you're a fucking asshole.
My kids love when I have a few beers. Because that means building forts and tag team wresting matches. I’m no Kurt Cobain
Also kids who grow up rich don't understand how good they have it, it's just normal baseline to them
Not only do kids not care who pays the bills, they will despise you even more if you are able to pay all the bills easily and don't spend time with them. Children grow up and typically come to understand the sacrifices parents made to scrape by even if it cost them family time.
Exactly this, don’t forget also they all pleaded with him to get his health under control. Then he doubled down. It’s not like they don’t love him, they can’t fathom having to bury their dad from a preventable situation, and are beginning to drift away to make it more bearable
The dilemma of the modern “conservative” man
Shit like this is why I barely have a relationship with my father at age 37. I love him because he's my father, and I'm nothing but grateful for how he provided for our family; but it doesn't change the missed birthdays and life events. Doesn't change the apathy towards my interests and hobbies, the constant criticism of everything I did, right or wrong. I saw that same resentment towards my mother because my sister and I actually had a relationship with her. He calls his wife useless on a massive platform and thinks he's in the right. Fuck him.
Not to mention the crazy shit he's said about his daughters. I am sure they've gone through hell at school.
I think a lot of people (men in particular) fall into this trap because what people outwardly tell you they want doesnt always align with what they actually need deep down. People will often be MUCH more outwardly appreciative of being given gifts than they will when you spend time with them. Like if you give someone a gift they will say thank you nearly 100% of the time but its rare for someone to tell you how much they appreciate you sitting down and having dinner with them. They may even resist it and grumble that theyd rather be doing something else. You can easily start to associate buying presents, nice house, cars, toys, vacations, etc as serving your family and making them happy. So you work and work and work to get them every little thing they could ever possibly want and they continually drift away from you. Eventually you get this type of resentment boiling over because you feel like youve done everything within your power to make them happy and they keep drifting further and further away And it especially doesn't help when you have someone like Bert whos stubborn and has very little self awareness.
Exactly money isn’t a substitute for love. Edit:You can tell that Tom is truly starting to realize how much of a leech Bert is.
If she divorced him and takes half his shit, I'd be on board. She has to be a saint to have to deal with this gross nightmare
I’d line up to be Leanne’s rebound!
I’m sure he’s had one or two conversations about his drinking behavior with his wife… that sounds like internal resentment and disdain. It wasn’t a bit.
She's fucking NOTHING. I'm still Kurt Cobain.
He sounded dead serious. Like, this wasn’t a bit.
Tom has let the money get to his head and Bert is a narcissist and just not funny. Nikki Glaser was right, we all love his joke and "he takes his shirt off....shirts are supposed to stay on". That's all he has.
I love how 99.99% of all comments after TB roast was those two bombed and they suck. week later Bert said on his podcast "I didn't heard a single negative comment about our set". lmao
It was the absolute worst part of the roast and slowed the whole thing down.
it felt like they were trying to pitch some Catalina wine mixer shit
It's because they're so mentally warped at this point that they disregard the opinions of the ones that actively consume and provide the revenue for the content they create, in favor of the obvious and safe critiques of their industry peers. They don't even register feedback from the people they're making the content for as valid or legitimate. They've programmed themselves to see any negative feedback as *something someone that's lonely and miserable in their mom's basement* sent and nothing more. I think they haven't liked their fans in a long time and that's why they've been branching out to other business ventures. They took the fan's money and now they're trying to run with it, all because the fans had the audacity to speak their minds when the product became noticeably half-assed and lackluster. It's funny that they talk about the entitlement of online commenters because I can't think of anything more entitled than willingly profiting off of a very obviously sub tier product and then getting righteously indignant when criticized for it. I was the biggest stand-up comedy fan for a decade, have seen almost every big comedian you can name at least once, some much more than that. But aside from a handful of standouts, I don't even engage with stand up anymore. It's so over saturated and 95% of comedians have revealed themselves to be pretty insufferable in their daily podcast appearances. Seems like the comedy boom is winding down now though so I'm hopeful the next generation will get back to writing jokes instead of "monetizing their personal brand*
Any thoughts on Shane Gillis? I feel exactly the way you’re describing and when I saw Shane’s YT special it was like a light clicking on. “This is what’s been missing.”
these guys are not funny... do you see the tom brady roast?? jeeeeezzzz.....
Every time I see Bert I think to myself "Jesus christ he did a sold out arena tour??" Who in the fuck are the people selling out ARENAS for Bert Chrysler. Look like who you like but God damn that's an expensive ticket to see a drunk guy ramble
Sounds like someone is headed for a divorce
OK, hear me out. I know that at the end of the day Bert is responsible for himself, but this is painful to watch. This is like 8 different types and layers of addiction with a cherry of narcissism on top. He's had so many moments of realization where he's fucking up. Him and Chris Distefano sobbing about missing every important moment of their families lives. His story about telling his dad that he's doing what his dad did: eat shit cash checks, and his dad admitting that he failed Bert as a father. Brutal stuff. This is another example of Berts internal fight to justify his desperate need for fame by saying it's all for his family. He's fucking up big time, but I can at least see where this is coming from. Tom on the other hand, what the hell. I don't expect him to force Bert into rehab, or eat right, or generally live his life for him. But he definitely has the power to say "don't put this on the air. This is fucked". You could even see it on his face when Bert said it that this is going too far. At least with all of the other crazy shit Bert says there is an air of humor, this one just comes off as bitter and angry and will certainly fuck with his family relationship. This is stuff you say in private when you need to vent and say terrible things, not something to share to the rest of the world
I'm telling you, just from my limited outside perspective, since I never got into their podcast and have only seen some of Tom's specials, from what I've seen, Bert is just a wild animal, and Tom is just a stone cold psychopath. If anyone has a chance to get through to Bert, it'd be Tom. And it always looks like Tom just lets him go, thinking "no no, this will be hilarious."
Accurate as fuck. Tom is not only a horrible person but a genuine psychopath, and get off on watching Bert self sabotage
Yeah if you're going to have someone do a personal therapy session in public, it's your duty to push back as a therapist would, reframe shit. Give them an exit. But idk this might be a bit. Doesn't look like it, but maybe that's part of it. I'd argue it's not cool either way. I like tom, but I hate everyone around him. I quit your mom's house like 2-3 years ago because I couldn't stand Tom's wife any longer. Also his show became just laughing at weirdos, and I wonder if that's just what tom seeks is weirdos blowing up their lives.
It feels like, to Tom, Bert has become a live action TikTok for him to watch and laugh at.
It's kinda scary
> I quit your mom's house like 2-3 years ago because I couldn't stand Tom's wife any longer. Also his show became just laughing at weirdos That pod went from sorta funny and odd to straight up "lets mock people online nonstop". Not my cuppa.
Yeah, and Christina was constantly "kids these days are so dumb" and then talking about the kids nanny and how she only learned how to wipe as a 40 year old woman. It couldn't be more stereotypically just kinda undeserving aristocratic dumb bitch wife material
After fedsmoker it went down hill
I never really got into touch my camera thru the fence. 2 bears was always more fun than YMH at least for ep1-80~ then once they realized Chappelle was hosting live events and Austin was taking off they just recorded 5 episodes at once and stopped giving a shit.
Yup. Once banked episodes became the norm, everything went straight into the shitter.
> layers of addiction Definitely. Bert here is just saying out loud the internal argument he’s had in his head 1000 times after his wife has questioned his alcoholism.
Bert's showing his true self finally, a lost alcoholic that thinks too highly of himself to realize he's a stain on his own family's name.
Hes gonna take the Uncle Joey route and only realize the error of his ways when its too late and the loved ones around him wont pick up his calls anymore. Friends are cool and they're fun to share a laugh, but it isnt family.
A lot of us are lucky to have learned this before it was too late....I could have ended up in that same situation and was definitely heading there at warp speed for a long time.
Bert doesn't think highly of himself. he's a narcissist and narcissism is rooted in deep-seated self hatred and shame.
They fell off 2 years ago
Covid wrecked a lot of comedians. I'm calling it. Like the restaurants that shut down and never quite came back.
It did. They're still wound up about it and won't stfu. It's old now
Bert continues his downward spiral, Tom continues to cash in on it. I'd bet money Bert is having an affair and this is how he justifies it to himself.
Not a chance in hell that Bert is having an affair. Tom on the other hand is probably banging a different hooker every night.
It’s gotta be a different one every night because he tosses them in the Green River when he’s done with them. Duh.
Perhaps Tom isn't mad at Garth, he just needs some ideas on better places to hide the bodies.
Gross imagine voluntarily having sex with Bert
"Money make you handsome"- Gucci Mane
Hopefully, whoever it is is getting paid good money. Otherwise, I'd feel bad for them (and still somewhat do).
He was trying really hard to do a swap with Jellyroll and his wife on Somethings Burning haha
[удалено]
My wife is basically my mommy said without a hint of irony, even a little resentment. Like how dare she?!
Somehow she’s his mommy and she’s also “fucking useless”? Somehow she is raising THEIR kids but she’s fucking useless? If Bert stepped away, it would be difficult but the wife could probably boss up and they’d probably have a strong community to support them. If the wife walks away, the kids are no longer getting raised….
Not to mention calling your wife “useless” even though she’s raising your kids and probably taking care of the house. Fucking pathetic.
Bert is so annoying.
That's a sad fucking outview on family.
Imagine having a dad whose view on your existence is this. My kids are everything. The only reason I matter is because I need to make sure my kids have the best possible lives I can provide. I feel fulfilled as a human being **because** I put my kids before everything else. I do that in the hopes that they will do the same for their own kids in the future and will get to feel the same sense of fulfillment. It’s impossible to achieve that feeling without making those sacrifices yourself. I genuinely can’t put myself into the headspace where this is how you view your relationship with your kids.
At this point I only consume negative Tom and Bert media and I thoroughly enjoy it. It’s like watching someone you despise get sick and die.
More like Kurt Slowbrain.
That's fucking grim man. Jesus
So this is not reading as a bit. Also, fellas, your family may treat you like a child if you continuously refuse to address your alcoholism. Making money is not the end all, be all of being a man.
Ego at an all time high.
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. These guys used up all their material about 4 years ago and now just enjoy smelling their own farts together.
Why is he fucking complaining? It's his choice. Yeah, run around doing comedy and other shit and leave your wife to raise the kids and you'll end up a bitter middle aged (fat) man that complains you don't have a connection with your children. A man child.
This is trash, I know a narcissists when I see one.
What a loser mentality
Why even talk about them here. I left these two clowns back in 2022 . Their comedy is like an old national lampoon van wilder movie
Ironic, as I recently learned that Van Wilder was an adaptation of a spec script originally based on Bert's life of partying at Florida State University.
Bert was never funny. Tom has had his moments but I've never understood the hype around him either
His first few stand up specials are really funny. I saw him live in Vancouver and he had the whole crowd laughing. This new schtick is unfunny as hell though. Never listened to his podcasts either
Bert and Tom aren’t funny anymore…. Used to think so early in their career…. Not anymore.
tom had such immense early potential as a stand up. His timing and delivery and joke structures were on point. he's a sad "what if"
Tom and Bert only see each other for work. He’s just tired of him you can tell
I don't know who these people are but I've a hard time believing they've not been this stupid for some time.
Tom is going to have to do damage control to LeeAnn later
Love watching Bert’s inevitable descent into madness
Bert getting down to brass tax! But in healthy relationships, you have to take money out of the equation. What does Leeann bring to the table other than cash? I don't need my wife for monetary balance. I need her for keeping my mind on an even keel, helping me make balanced decisions, bouncing ideas off of, and of course, tang.
*tacks https://kris-spisak.com/writing-tip-getting-down-to-brass-tacks-or-brass-tax/