I saw a comedian the other day whose name I can’t remember but they said that our generation looks at people who haven’t worked in the service industry like our parents look at someone who didn’t serve in Vietnam. And I thought that was pretty telling.
Holiday retail is like special forces of service industry.
Same for restaurants where “kids eat free!” Or you have to serve in any type of character outfit.
I just got a job in an upscale place in a HCOL neighborhood, but we serve wood-fired pizza. Every Friday, right when we open at 5, the floodgates open for "hip" parents with their kids. Some of them are super well behaved and are obviously used to going out to eat. Others are insane. I was rocked the first time I saw it. They order so many sugary drinks for them and let them run everywhere. Last week there there 3 kids with their parents who each had 3 shirley temples, playing on a fire pit, unsupervised. The parents were right there but not paying attention.
I've also seen little girls who squeal at the top of their lungs for 30 mins straight with no intervention.
I absolutely couldn't work in a place that was actually focused on families. They get in the way and create dangerous situations, make a huge mess, grab anything that isn't nailed down and run into staff only areas where people are handling plates and trays of drinks.
There's not enough money in the world and for the money that those servers do make, I can't even imagine putting up with it.
I don't mind kids, but parents are the problem.
Once had a kid throw an entire serving of buttered noodles all over the restaurant, including the front window, which led to several people almost hurting these badly when they slipped on the butter. Grandma was endorsing this behavior too. It was a $20 dish on top of it all.
I wonder if my Vietnam vet dad would ever understand the ptsd I have a decade later from secret shoppers. I'm half joking half not. I'm feeling pissed off just bringing it up.
Ugh FUCK secret shoppers. All they do is give management an easy out to fire people they don't like. Where I used to work, some people would get fired or given a "weekend off" if they missed a step on their secret shop, but if the golden children missed the same step(s) they'd still get a "great shop, you'll get a perfect score next time!"
Dani and T at On the Border can suck my musty nuts
Yes, thank you for your service. I worked in the CBRF world for 5 years. Pay was shit but it was rewarding to actually help folks. Holy shit was it hard work though. Getting attacked and chasing after eloping patients was nuts. I have the best stories.
My mother worked in a old folks home when she was 19. She still treats people in the service industry like shit for the most part. Kind of like how some poor people become rich but stay humble. While other poor people become rich and just trash on poor people.
This is such a good idea. Everyone has to work a minimum wage service job after finishing school. I feel like the world would be a much better place if people like Kim Kardashian had to cook fries and bag orders for a year. Making billionaires feel the pain of the Everyman might make them feel a little more sympathetic.
I did 3 years at BK, 1 year at Circuit City, and 3 years at On the Border... Been office-employed the last 15 years now but those memories remain pretty visceral
I always felt that anyone in a management position should have to spend some time doing entry level positions so they have a better understanding of how it all works. Unfortunately, that will never catch on. The closest I have seen is Undercover bosses and who knows how much was edited.
My in laws work exclusively in the service industry. My mil is the absolute worst at restaurants. She once picked on a waitress for being too slow. I had to point out that she was extremely pregnant. The amount of “going to the restroom” as a cover to Pre tip and apologize is astronomical. The worst part is she complains endlessly about the people that do the same things she does when she’s working. Some people are just rude.
So the family doesn’t know I’m doing it. Because the last thing a server needs is a giant family fight. I excuse myself to the restroom and then try to catch our server out of sight. Give them a tip in advance. Tell them I’m so sorry about MIL. They’re doing great. If anything maybe it will prevent them from spitting in my food. But also they don’t have to worry that she won’t tip them. Which she doesn’t. But has no clue I already have.
Former long term, 50 caliber dishwasher here. I do my best to be a good patron when eating out. I was in Vietnam with my dad who served in the war lol, and his credit card wasn’t working after a meal. The girl was cool but didn’t speak English and we don’t speak Vietnamese. So she was cool and kept trying but he had to start yelling at her, In English about how much money he has in his bank account and that it’s her problem. God it was so rude on so many levels, and eventually it did work. Totally wack. I actually cite this as one of the reasons I don’t talk to him anymore. Not only was he being a dick but he was also yelling English at someone in a country where it’s not the main spoken language…yuck I can’t stand it.
It must be an ad on prime or YouTube because I've seen the same stand-up guy but now can't remember where I saw the ad even though it made me want to watch his special🤦🏼♀️
My parents don't know anyone who served in Vietnam. Only about 10 percent of male boomers served in Vietnam. I'm betting a lot more people of our generation worked in the service industry.
Here's what my parents do:
Dad forgets his reading glasses, always, even though he's needed them the past 15+ years. So he can't read the menu, mom loudly reads some things from the menu (hearing loss, refuses help) to figure out what he wants. He decides. They put their menus down. We start chatting.
Server shows up to take our order. My dad says "I want a burger" or something equally vague and starts acting like he's never been in a restaurant before. The server then has to talk him through all the burger options until she's figured out what he wants.
When I was younger, my mom used to order for my dad but now I've noticed she's just let it become the servers problem. Now she will use her newfound free time to stare at the menu again til the last possible minute until she decides on a grilled cheese and a glass of pinot grigio, or something equally wild that no one ever orders.
I wouldn't trade them for the world but sometimes I think I was found in a trash can or something lol
Omg!!! My dad orders “a burger well done with nothing on the inside except lettuce and tomato” he means a patty so well cooked it’s a hockey puck and no toppings or sauce except for the lettuce and tomato. He doesn’t even look at the menu to see the options. It’s just “a burger” and then gets upset when it doesn’t come out right.
Omg I really thought this was just my parents. The asking for something vague and making the server do gymnastics to figure out what he wants? Then does your dad do the exasperated sigh "Why is it *so hard* to get a burger? You all haven't cooked a burger here before?"
And my mom does the same thing, ordering something really strange. "I want the southwest salad, but no lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, tortilla strips or salad dressing. And can you add a beef patty and some bread." Waiter: "So you want a burger? With the cheese and the bacon from the salad?" Mom: "No, I said I wanted a southwest salad." 🤦♀️
Ok now I’m wondering if it’s a generational thing or a mental thing…there are too many stories like this, but it’s bizarre to think such a huge population spread all over the US has so many common “things”.
This is all so insane to me.
It's a damn lead thing. Boomers were all poisoned by lead, AND IT GOT DAMN HAS MADE AN ENTIRE GENERATION OR TWO OF ABSOLUTE CRAZY PEOPLE.
They are all generally mental. My mom is 78 and acts a complete fool in public at the drop of a hat. If the servers don't meet her imaginary standards, essentially how she was as a server in the late 60s, then I have to endure her lecturing them on better serving strategies. She gives detailed instructions on how to improve their body language so customers feel more appreciated, read: worshipped.
And that's only if the servers remain uncommonly polite. If she detects any resistance or the server tries to set boundaries all hell breaks loose and she begins cussing out everyone within earshot. We most recently got kicked out mid meal because the bar was out of her favorite shitty beer and she couldn't believe that she would have to choose literally anything else.
It's so embarrassing.
Thank you for bringing up lead exposure. It's a huge problem for the older generations, and it's only going to keep getting worse.
Lead stays in the bones, so as our elders lose bone mass the trapped lead is released so they're being re-poisoned over and over again for the rest of their lives. It would be more tragic if it didn't make people such relentless assholes.
It's always the lead. The whole generation is bonkers, and it's well known but they're still in charge of everything. This is a major problem and I really don't know if we're going to survive them. They've ruined the climate, ruined nations through insanely greedy policies, and are actively trying to cripple the nation with their "conservative" core values.
Oh the hearing thing has recently surfaced with my mom. The TV is SO loud and she asks people to repeat things a dozen times and claims everyone is “mumbling nowadays”
Ah, no, the common denominator is you, my dear.
I suggested she gets a hearing test and you’d think I asked her to tattoo her face. She *flipped* out. It was so weird. It’s not even an invasive test, takes less than 10 mins and maybe then she’d be able to hear again- but for some reason she’s got it in her head the hearing aid are the size of a Geo Metro and would be super obvious. I showed her pics of people online with them in and you could only see them if you walked up to them and stared hard at their ear holes.
How is she so vain at 72 that she’s too classy/fancy/pretty for hearing aids?
So weird to me.
No matter where we eat, it always goes as follows:
Dad: I'm not really hungry. I'm just going to get a sandwich.
Mom: There's so many things in this menu that look good...
Dad: {starts telling story that my mom starts chiming in on}
Server: Hey folks, can I get you started with some drinks? Are we ready to order or do we need a minute?
Mom (in panicked state): I need another minute.
Me (as the server is walking away): I'll take a beer and so will my dad.
Dad: {continues story while my mom continues to chime in}
Server (5 minutes later with drinks): So, do we know what we want yet?
Me (to my mom): Are you ready to order?
Mom (panicking again): I'm not sure, but I'll figure it out. You go first.
Me: {orders food}
Dad: I'll have the... (opens menu and looks it over for a minute while the server stands there debating if they should come back) prime rib.
Mom: I'll have the wedge salad.
And then I sit there exasperated that my dad went from not hungry to ordering a prime rib with extra sides and that it took my mom 15 minutes to settle on the most basic item on the menu.
Sometimes I'll ask the server to come back a second time if the place isn't busy, but 9 times out of 10 my mom ends up ordering the most basic salad in the menu regardless. And of course my dad will comment about how long it's taking for the food to come out after he just ordered prime rib and a baked potato at 11 AM.
Are you me?
The only change would be Dad complaining about the service speed on the drive home. Followed by me pointing out that they did visit the table 12 times to ask if mom was ready to order. At which point my mother tells my dad to calm down. At which point, he removes his hearing aides. At which point mom and I discuss all of my dad’s recent “transgressions”, while he stares out the window, oblivious.
This sounds like how going out with my dad was. It was always embarrassingly funny things. Like, he might decide on something, but when it came time to order, he'd ask for some modification that made it a completely different item on the menu. The server would be like, "oh you want this item?" And he'd be confused why they're suggesting something else.
With him gone now, I wouldn't trade those memories either. We just went out to eat with my mom tonight, and we were laughing about the time at the same restaurant, he went outside to dance in the window just to make our kids laugh.
Ugh my Dad will call the waitress “babe” “sweetheart” . I try to make a point to ask the servers name , so there isn’t an excuse for the nicknames
Edit: it’s only weird because he would NEVER call a male server “hun”, “dude” , “bro” “sweetie” “sweetheart”, “sport” or “boss”. Or any other Nick names.
It just seems sexist that he thinks it’s okay for pet names for women,… even after I ask for their names directly….
Heck, I would even accept “Miss, or Ma’am” as an appropriate way to call for a server.
It would be *slightly* different if he knew the servers or bartenders because he build up a report with them…. OR if the server called him “babe” or “hon” first- I guess I would have a different opinion… But just something erks me about him calling a female “sweetie” or “babe”- especially since i can tell it makes the
Nothing triggers me more than someone calling me sweetheart, honey, or baby/babe.
I work for a doctor office answering phones, and a patient once called me sweetheart, but in a condescending tone like I was a dumbass and I almost hung up on him. But you know, if I did that, I would have been fired, lol.
It def depends on who is saying it and how. I've seen it work and not work with either gender. But men are gonna be less likely to pull it off due to gender dynamics for sure.
OMFG I used to work with the sneakiest most malignant bitch who weaponized the sweeties and honeys and absolutely nothing could be proven or done about it. She said it in a tone that absolutely seethed, but never when anyone important could overhear.
That is weird but it is commonly not considered weird the other way around, especially in the south. Wait staff and gas station employees constantly do it. Babe is less common but it does happen.
It’s practical because it’s usually gender neutral. Nothing’s worse than ruining your good manners by making mistakes on that. I served hospital patients, and let’s just say when you’re serving someone who’s under covers and has bed head and no make and you don’t know their first name, it can happen.
Remember, they are from a generation where service people were considered beneath them, the help, and it was perfectly fine to ogle your waitress. Mentally, for many, those days are becoming fresher in their minds.
Just also remember these things changed over their lifetime, so they did good things too.
So my parents are only in their late 50’s and mid 60’s, but they’re already getting to that point of lacking common sense and being rude. My mom likes to open mouth cough into the air like a toddler, tongue curl and everything. She doesn’t wash her hands after using the bathroom because she doesn’t think it’s needed and talks about her bowel movements in detail. My dad isn’t nearly as bad as my mom, but they are both at that point where they don’t think food safety and expiration dates are a thing. The same things they were criticizing my grandmother for like 10-15 years ago, they’re doing. They leave foods out for a very long time that shouldn’t be kept out, keep foods that are unsafe because they’re so expired, yet they’re convinced that they’re still good, store things in improper containers and don’t cover them. Sometimes I wait for them to both be gone so I can clean out gross foods that they’d get mad if I tossed, but if I do it while they’re away, they won’t realize what they’re missing. I just really hope they don’t serve unsafe foods to other people and I already know they’ve both gotten sick from eating leftovers that needed to go like a week prior.
I don’t think they go out to eat often, but my mom is especially rude to workers.
…yeah… does your mom slurp every bitte of her food, too? Like an audible suction noise with every fork, not just soup. 🫠 and dad couldn’t care less about sitting down in time for a shared meal. Two 70 yo and they need two fridges, and still food is piling up all over every surface of the kitchen. It’s moth central in their pantry…
I tend to tune people out while they’re eating or try my best anyway. Luckily my parents don’t have a bug problem but there’s a garage fridge with sour cream that’s been there since thanksgiving and who knows what’s in the freezer, all the stuff in the kitchen fridge/freezer and pantries, the deep freezer in the basement, and all the canned and dry goods.
My grandmother is even worse though. I was over there in the summer and I was hoping she had some chocolate and she had all these bars that had expired around 2015-2017 range. Definitely not interested in mottled white and brown chocolate.
I don’t eat at my grandmothers house. You’re risking severe illness if you do. She must have a stomach of steal. I still haven’t recovered from the Macaroni and Cheese Catastrophe of 1996.
Seriously what is the deal with the 2 fridges? My grandfather did this until a few years ago and my in-laws do this. The fridge in the kitchen is jam packed with expired food. I know for a fact I got food poisoning from the ranch dressing. The garage fridge is also completely full with various varieties of colored fuzz (Jimmy Carter said that casserole was delicious!), and then their giant freezer seems to be housing Jack Frost’s beard trimmings disguised as freezer burnt ice cream from the Reagan administration.
Same here. The sounds of sneezing actually drives me insane I hate it so much. What’s perplexes me is this same woman who taught me growing up to cough into my elbow and cover my sneezes is now doing the opposite of that; things that I did as a small child before I knew any better.
I taught my kid in just a few days to cover their mouth with an elbow at 2 years old.
Wasn’t that hard- but I can’t get my mom to stop picking at her teeth at the table.
I have no doubt my mom is possibly is in some sort of early cognitive decline. I’ve worked very closely in previous jobs with people who have had dementia. Still, it’s too early to do anything and much of the time she’s stubborn. My dad is also stubborn and actively makes fun of anything related to food safety.
Cognitive decline. I like that term, but it sounds like a blanket statement for “wait and see”.
Not that it matters. I can’t get my mom to take a hearing test, I doubt I’ll get her to get a cognitive test.
Yeah, that’s unfortunately how it is and cognitive decline into an actual dementia diagnosis is a very “wait and see” type problem. There has to be a noticeable pattern vs a few off days or general forgetfulness with age. My time working with the elderly, there were residents that would start off fairly independent, but then we’d start noticing things and would begin reporting incidents to case management and once it got to a certain point, the resident would get a formal evaluation by a physician. Being around it so much, I know what signs to look out for in my mom. I think she’s still in the forgetfulness with age stage since she hasn’t had any red flag behaviors yet.
Like you said though, it’s hard for them to accept that they need help for simple things such as a hearing test because the denial is strong.
ALL of our parents have early signs of dementia????
ALL OF US?!??
I don’t know whah the numbers are on Boomer dementia but this seems like really high numbers if we go just by Reddit posts.
Omg my mom does the cough too! She also has allergies and instead of, yk, going to the restroom to blow her nose, she just snorks everything into the back of her throat.
My mom gets monthly food poisoning at her local casino from eating their chili cheese dogs
I once suggested that perhaps she should skip them since they are obviously not agreeing with her stomach or they aren’t following proper food serving standards but her response was
“But they are *so* good!”
On my life, I cannot think of one thing that is so good that I would risk monthly food poisoning for over a decade. There is no way that fucking chili dog is worth it.
Oh god, yeah I fully agree with you because there’s no way they’re that good. I got food poisoning from Burger King in 2009 and I think I’ve been back there maybe 3 times since? I don’t get fast food often anyway and I’d never get that specific food item ever again.
Wow, my parents are the same with food. I don’t even look in the fridge when I’m there and they have plenty of money and time , they just don’t see the value in making sure food is safe to eat . My mom has also taken to breathing really, intentionally loudly because it’s “the right way to breathe” . It’s not , and it’s why I can’t be around for her too long , it’s super irritating!
My mom is actually the boomer of the couple. A young boomer, but still. My dad isn’t far behind her being an older gen x. I really hope that once I reach their age that I still practice hygiene, food safety, human decency….
My parents are generally not rude to strangers, but they definitely keep expired food and medication lol. I went on vacation with them a couple years ago and got a bug bite. My mom was like “no problem, I have Benadryl cream!” When I put it on, it was all crusty and nasty. Turns out it expired in the late 90s. 😩
My husband’s dad is like this. He’s in his 70s. Going to a restaurant with him is such an awful experience. He has an issue with everything: lighting is too low; restaurant is too loud; he doesn’t know the “weird” ingredients on the menu; doesn’t want to order a burger medium rare (even though that’s how he likes his burgers) because he doesn’t know where the restaurant gets their meat from; why can’t he just get a potato side dish even though menu states the entree comes with a different side dish; server has to come to the table multiple times before he’s ready to order; argues about prices when the bill comes; never wants to compromise when it comes to ordering shared dishes and just wants to order what he wants; loves fish, but always ends up finding his dish too fishy even though we’re at a nice restaurant and the fish is prepared well. I could go on forever.
You've just reminded me when I invigilated at an exhibition that had Picasso, Salvador Dali, and Degas drawings that were leant to the gallery. The lighting was very low in order to protect the drawings because they were delicate. The number of Boomers that would complain to me about it, as if I was about to swap out the bulbs for them, was frustrating, to say the least.
It didn't matter how much I explained why it's dim, its like they were personally offended. They remained annoyed even after I explained. You could easily see the drawings fine, it was just darker than usual. It was a free exhibition, too. We made it extremely accessible for visitors
Yes, all of my siblings know that going out with the parents is embarrassing and to never take them to your fav spots.
None of them warned me. I wrote an apology letter to my local ice cream shop….
They are just extremely rude. Making negative comments about anything you could possibly comment on. I live in a small town, this ice cream shop is within walking distance to my house. It’s won awards, has lines out the door all summer. My parents opinions and complaints mean nothing to them, but they are embarrassing to me.
That was the last time I went out to eat with them.
My dad is also a very “serious” yelper and prides himself in never giving a place “his five stars” lol he’s a narcissist going senile.
'Do you know how to act? My goodness, I never would have thought my grandmothers were
capable of having raised such feral beasts. You're the kind of people that give servers nightmare stories, you know that? Honestly you shouldn't be out in public anymore, your lack of awareness is anti-social behavior and is absolutely disgusting.'
And that's how I stopped going out to dinner with my mother.
My mother is.... very likely not like your mother. My mother has a lot of issues, and thus caused a lot of my issues, and the very least she can do is hear me when I tell her what she's done. The alternative is to have no one around, I still care about her--I just don't tolerate her nonsense and have made that very clear.
My parents are only in their late 50s but they started acting like my grandparents, who act like this, as soon as they hit 50. They qoute are "too old to put up with this shit anymore". I don't eat out with them anymore bc I'm not about having people spit in my food bc my parents want to act like a pair of jackasses at a family restaurant.
No, generational behaviors depend on experiences.
Ours is more empathetic to people who have shitty jobs than theirs - we don't glorify employers like they do.
You'll be OK, buddy, you're aging gracefully and with tact
I have dealt with similar situations with my Mom. At this point I just tell her she’s wrong and leave it at that because at this stage in their lives they ain’t changing anything. They’ve had this mindset their whole life, we would have better luck arguing with a stop sign.
I wouldn't call out your parents, I would talk directly to the server and apologize for their behavior and explain exactly why you are apologizing every single time.
Example: "I'm so sorry, sally. I'm not sure why my dad was so rude to you right then. You don't deserve to have anyone talk to you that way. Thank you for waiting on us and being a professional even when customers are rude to you."
That way, regardless of the situation, you are giving the attention where it needs to be. Like toddlers, when one hits another, you comfort the toddler who may be injured, not give the other toddler attention.
I remember my dad was being really racist in public.
He’s talking in a really fake African American dumb accent about fried chicken, in shall we say, mixed company.
I literally told him he can never do that. He’s like “don’t tell me what to do”.
So I figured, tell him to ask a boomer, all his friends looked so uncomfortable.
So I told him to ask his friends if I was right.
He never said “you’re right” however, he never did it again.
His friends all looked mortified.
When I say mixed company. I mean it was a diverse group of people, some of whom looked pissed.
It’s like, even if it was just old white boomers, they wouldn’t like that.
Some years later, a guy acted like that at a fancy social club, just to me, he said he had two weed plants, he’s like “I call them the obamas”.
So someone asked me what he said.
I’m told them, and they said what do you think of that? I said “he thinks he’s going to get into this club soon, but saying stuff like that will make him persona non grata where I’m from”.
I had a family member spouting racist non-sense about people of colour coming into the country, bringing all their families and getting elected to office so they can take over the government. He then turned to my Latinx wife and said, “It’s okay. I consider you white.”
Bless her, she made a joke about it, but dear god I felt like my jaw stayed dropped for an entire week after that comment. I tore a strip off him later about it because I was too shocked in the moment to formulate a response.
My dirtbag uncle, 8th grade education, dumb as a post, told me, at 11, that he “urinated off a hotel balcony on n*****rs”
I’m like what is that? He’s like…. “Black people!”
I said why?
He’s like “because they’re black”
He found out I was gay and sent this weird threatening letter I sent to my brother, who wouldn’t show it to my parents, who he advised to call the police, who did go see the dirt bag.
He broke into my late grandmothers house and sold all her famous fathers art, and burned all the family photos.
He’s growing weed now, must be selling to children bc the market is so over saturated. Can’t make money like that.
A few Boomers have come into my white looking husband’s business (he is Hispanic) and being in a Republican city, some like to be very vocal about various minorities
It brings him never ending joy to subtly direct their attention to our family photo on the wall that clearly shows his wife (me, being of multiple mixed race that can pass for a lot of things, none of them white).
They snap their mouths shut so fast. So far, only one left.
I remember this one time my nieces were playing something and started doing eenie meenie mini mo to decide something. At one point my father in law said 'that's not the correct way.' I told him there's no need to say what he was about to say. A few seconds later I heard him say 'catch a n*****'. I told the kids not to listen to their grandad. The eldest was 10 and seemed to know that's not something to be said at all, but it was baffling that he thought it was a reasonable thing to say in front of a 10 and 8 year old. Even if he doesn't live in the US, those kids do.
My daughter was a newborn at the time but I told my wife he better not repeat crap like that in front of our kid/s
There are plenty of Boomers that know right from wrong. They aren’t all clueless. I’m really proud of your dad’s friends calling him out on his behavior.
My mom (65) will spend 10 minutes looking at every single thing on the menu and commenting on how it seems interesting even though she knows she won't like or eat probably 75% of it (either too spicy for her aka it has more than a dash of pepper or just something she doesn't like) and she picked the restaurant, ask the waiter 82 questions about the other 25%, including whether she can get X side with Y dish even when the menu clearly says no substitutions, then tell the waiter she needs a few more minutes and she'll let him/her know when she's ready...then get mad that the waiter took drink orders for the rest of the table because she hasn't even *looked* at the drinks yet and oh goodness how can she possibly make a decision?
It's exhausting. And also why when I go home to visit, I tell her I'm really craving something from a particular restaurant that I know she knows the menu by heart and has basically three set orders, and when she visits me I tell her the non-chains are newer and still working out the kinks so let's go to a chain where she kinda knows the menu.
It’s exhausting. My dad (83) always asks the servers if things are “hot” AKA spicy which nobody ever understands. His definition of spicy is anything that is seasoned with anything at all. He’s in his boiled chicken and broccoli stage of life.
My dad does the hot vs spicy thing too! Servers never understand when he asks if the food is hot so he just keeps repeating the same question, just making the word “hot” louder and more emphasized each time, as if that clears up the confusion. If they still don’t understand he gets agitated and finally blurts out something like “does it burn!” I’ve told him multiple times to say “spicy” and he still says “hot” for whatever reason
Yeah, my dad (59) will snap his fingers to get waiters’ attention or yell “Hey.” I have had multiple arguments with him at Texas Roadhouse about not dropping the free peanut shells on the floor instead of onto a plate. My mom (59) will complain loudly about issues with her food or the wait or whatever but then is too anxious to say anything to the staff about her undercooked food or her drink that needs a refill and wants someone else to do it for her.
The floor thing with peanuts is actually a thing, probably NOT at the Texas Roadhouse you're going to, but there are places that have it approved. It's an old school way to keep the floors clean, these days you have to replace the sawdust every day though.
Omfg, I have a snapping parent. He did it in a shoe store last year after waiting literally ten seconds at the register because the sole employee was assisting another senior customer. Then he and the senior behind us talked shit about said lone employee and lazy young people. I nearly lost it there, but just angry-whispered (like you would to a naughty child) that they were both being entitled nightmare customers who should be ashamed. They did not like it but at least had the grace to stfu. I don't understand this behavior from someone who positively drilled me on manners as a kid.
Oh man. I’m really sorry. That would irritate me. Not the same thing, but I was wondering about something kind of similar the other day. When my parents come to my apartment they say things like “I don’t like those curtains” and I just find it so rude and unnecessary. I don’t like things in my parents’ house but would never say it. My rule is unless it’s a health and safety issue (like you forgot to turn your burner off or there’s medication left out and I’m afraid the dog will eat it) then I don’t say anything. Anybody else have parents who critique your home and not just that but your clothing and body?!
Also on another topic I’m not sure if this is weird or just me but my boomer parents will come to my apartment and talk about my roommate and I’m like omg they might be in their room, I dunno, so can you not say anything about them?! Nothing like “Oh they suck” but just like “Does your roommate watch tv late at night? Does it bother you?” And like what if they did and now they’re pissed at me because I “told on them”? Maybe that’s me being paranoid but I would never talk about someone who might be around. Can any of you relate?
My mom won't come right out and say something is ugly or dirty but, for example, after my first child she just kept harping on and on about how I should get a cleaning service to clean for me. And I would say, "mom, I can't afford that." And she'd just say, "Well, it's worth it to not have that extra worry about keeping things clean." And I get it, I just had a baby and it would have lightened my load, but my house isn't that dirty and if I can't afford something and I have said that multiple times, at that point STOP talking about it!
Yes both my parents and their partners. I hate going out with them they're quite rude. My sister and I both have worked hospitality and have a real world view.
I don’t take my mom and her boyfriend to restaurants I actually like because they are so rude to the staff. I’d be too embarrassed to ever go back. They change their order after it’s already in the kitchen. They have to ask for weird substitutions as some sort of bizarre power move. I just bring them Chinese take out when I go to see them now lol
Luckily, my mom (stepmom) owned a catering company for many years and 3 of my brothers worked in F&B for a while. My parents are both pretty chill when it comes to eating out at a restaurant. There are other boomer things that drive us crazy but not related to restaurants.
Yeah, this thread is making my parents seem like very reasonable people (which they are not lol). They always taught us to be kind to waitstaff and tip well. My mom is a picky eater, but she just knows to order things she likes. My dad eats anything except chicken. Going out to eat with them isn’t bad due to their restaurant manners; it’s usually because the conversation shifts to some boomer parent shit that makes it unbearable.
My mom makes so many substitutions and asks so many questions I want to hide. Then my dad gets obsessed about serving etiquette and will make a scene if someone clears a plate when other people are still eating. I’m constantly apologizing
Yes, my dad is starting to become like this. If we have to wait at all, my dad will make little comments when the server finally comes over. They’ll say “how are we doing?” And my dad will say some shit like “oh we’re doing good, just been having to wait a while but it’s okay!” But he says it in a way to show he’s clearly annoyed but not rude enough to get called out if that makes sense. It’s just so passive and embarrassing lol.
I also have what I’d consider older parents for our generation. My mom makes “jokes” that fall flat all the time. Or tries to be relatable and understanding but the way she says shit is so cringe. A lot of times I know she comes across as condescending or rude. She has absolutely no ill intentions, but it makes me want to die inside bc outsiders don’t know she’s just trying to be relatable. My dad has dementia so he has no filter which is a whole other situation. But my mom is fully aware and she just does things that make me cringe so hard.
Yeah, I think you’ve got at least one good Boomer in there doing what Boomers do. Mine aren’t that wild. My mom does complain a lot about people in customer service, which drives me batshit. She holds low wage or minimum wage service people to like, a super high standard. If they aren’t perfect in every way, she bitches about them bitterly and how they should work hard at their jobs and be grateful. Honestly, that anyone tolerates those wages is a tragedy and a crisis. The oppressed working class would be within their God-given rights to form a massive militia and completely overturn modern commerce as we know it. Please don’t expect someone earning 12 dollars an hour to fellatio you and rub your feet.
My parents (68) are great at restaurants because they've both worked in the service industry/customer service. My dad is a little more "Boomerish" but he does okay, nothing egregious. He also tips \*really\* well in cash so it kind of makes up for it.
My MIL is either the youngest Boomer or oldest Gen X depending on where you think the cutoff is and she's an entire nightmare to go to a restaurant with.
Omg yes. My dad is 70. Took him to the nice Chinese buffet in town. We're sitting in the middle of the large, open restaurant that is crowded with people. We get to talking about how busy the restaurant is, and he loudly exclaims for all to hear, "Boy, these Orientals sure are hard workers!" I just about crawled under my chair lol. The darn thing is, he meant it as a compliment. But he has no idea how that term comes across, despite me talking to him about this stuff all the time.
My dad is 83. Strangely he’s pretty laid back. My mom it’s a 68 year old nightmare though. She automatically hates every server. Finds something wrong to excuse not tipping and talks down to them. I usually just pay the bill myself so I can be sure they get tipped.
Huh…is this new behavior or have they always acted like this? Because when my dad developed dementia one of the early signs I saw of a cognitive decline was how he had trouble thinking of others‘ viewpoints and some of the social manners. He did start making inappropriate jokes and weird behavior (by the time he lost a lot of the ability to communicate he also got very grabby in the nursing home) but not remembering how the hostess position worked and complaining loudly about how long he was waiting was a problem we had way back.
Anyways my mom is still around please don’t kill off the Applebees or Chilis until she’s gone or I won’t be able to take her anywhere. :)
I feel you on the Applebee's thing, to my parents that's the epitome of "fine dining" as it is. I can barely get them to try anything that isn't a burger or fried chicken.
A thing I notice is my age and younger people at a restaurant almost always set the table with everything at the end so it’s easier for it to be cleared. If we happen to drop something on the table we clean it up. Also saying thank you whenever anything is done for us by the server.
Watch the 60+ people. They will literally trash the table. Order 60 bucks worth of food and leave a 5 dollar tip. All while treating the server like shit. It’s wild.
A friend of mine works at a slightly upscale Italian place as a waiter. He makes six figures with his tips. Tell the older people that and they get pissed. It’s some generational divide thing where they view that role as only being done by people who can’t do anything else.
My mother in law is in her mid 60's, and I won't go anywhere with her because she's SO embarrassing. Most of it might have to do with her being poor, but she would insist on treating me and my children to lunch or shoes/ them an outfit, and hold up a line asking for the price of each item. Then arguing about the sale. She doesn't care how long the line is. She is only worried about herself. Everyone else notices the cashier getting frustrated, but still being nice, and then they will start rolling their eyes and sighing every time she asks another question. Is she completely oblivious?
She would also do this even if I was paying. She'd want to go with me to run a few errands, and I'd put everything on the belt, and each time the cashier would scan something, she'd ask how much it was... like, it's none of your business, but if you insist on being so nosey, look at the damn cashier's screen!!
She knows how I like to stay on the DL and will scream my name a few aisles over and ask personal questions while we are shopping. My grandmother would do that when I was young, and I'd want to melt into the floor.
She also felt like it was completely appropriate to undress my toddler in the buggy in the middle of the store to try on clothes. I asked her why, and she felt like because she was a baby, she didn't need privacy.
Omg that’s horrifying. My parents aren’t that bad but my mom does ask the cashier everywhere if she can pay with a check. Mom nobody uses checks anymore. People walking around with naked babies is wild though. I don’t know why people feel that that’s appropriate.
Omg! My husband talks about how she'd only write checks. He said he would be so embarrassed for some reason in the grocery checkout line while she's writing a check and everyone else is using a card. She hated when stores stopped accepting checks, and was reluctant to get a card. Crazy!
Mine are impatient as well. Best solution I've found is to have them smoke a joint before going out. THEN they chill out and have a good time. If not, they are impatient, incredibly rude, and I end up apologizing to everyone and leaving an extra hefty tip. If they're high? We all tip well and call it a great time out!
As always, be responsible when driving.
Your boomer parents aren’t the type of parents OP is talking about lol. The type of parents OP is talking about would never smoke a joint before going out. I know bc I have parents like OPs parents.
At a shop today, my mom who is 65, picked up something obviously expensive and asked the owner how much it cost. When the owner said the price my mom went “wow that’s expensive”
Like it was obviously expensive, you didn’t need to ask the price, and you didn’t need to make that comment. I know it’s a small comment but this shop is right by my house so I go often and was just embarrassed. Like what did she want the owner to say.
We were on a cruise ship and for their anniversary my husbands parents had a nice dinner with the family together and a lot of the crew came and sang a special song from (I think) Nigeria. It was quite lovely and his dad throws his hands up and says, I shit you not, “Woo, Lion King!”
I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Who thinks that’s…FINE TO SAY?!?! Or appropriate?!?!
My mom is 77 and was a waitress for 20+ years, and she treats wait staff like shit.
I refuse to eat out with her because of the things she says to them at times.
She also does not tip well at all.
My parents are in their mid-60’s, while my husband’s parents are late and early-50’s. The stark contrast in going out with my parents vs. his is astounding. My dad will waive down the waitstaff and whistle if he’s not seen. My mom will act surprised every time she’s asked for her order and find something wrong with the dish every time. It’s exhausting.
My in-laws are in that age range, I love them dearly but don’t look forward to restaurant visits with them. I’m always embarrassed by their behaviors and their ‘custom’ orders.
My MIL always tries to order peach sangria, year round, off menu, at every restaurant. When told they don’t have peach sangria she asks for peach schnapps with white wine. My FIL basically tries to create his own dishes, and demands scallops or tuna steak be served well-done/crispy.
My parents turn into crazy people out at restaurants. I always pick up the bill and tip at least 50 percent because of it.
My dad flirts with any woman working there but he’s also super rude. He’s one that will tell the waiter we aren’t ready to order, but then get annoyed when they don’t come back the second he is ready.
My mom only likes plain bland food. She gets flustered easily and gets terms confused. Like she ordered nachos when she meant she wanted more chips/salsa, then was upset when they brought her nachos instead. She doesn’t like onions, so she’ll tell the waiter no onions even when onions are not an ingredient in the dish she ordered.
I work in a restaurant so my parents finally learned what not to do but some never learn. I had a table the other day where you could tell the girl was mortified by her grandparents behavior but she was also young enough that I doubt she had enough money to pay the tab for all 3. I’ve just gotten so I won’t go out to eat with certain people because it’s so embarrassing how people lose their minds in restaurants. I’m a server, not a servant. There is a HUGE difference people do not seem to understand.
They sound like a clumsy comedy act. Perhaps part of it’s cultural? I suggest because my folks aren’t far behind at 70 and 66 and represent a huge reason I treat service staff- no matter where we’re talking about, kindly. No fuss, no “speaking to the manager” shit. Well, there was one time at the Chev dealer where my dad humiliated their burnout service manager, but that guy deserved it.
My parents are in their early 60s and are already falling for obvious scams. My mom almost got an “uber driver” off the street in NYC that wanted to charge three times as much as it should have cost. They also can’t seem to figure out how apps work. Idk it’s weird because even five years ago they seemed pretty competent in navigating the world. They’re catty now too. So, yes.
My mom used to just blatantly ignore whatever the server/hostess/busser was saying to her. In one ear, out the other.
I remember going out to eat with her and my pops one time, my siblings along with as well. It was dinner time, at a busy shopping center off a major highway, and ofc no one made a reservation.
Hostess asks my mom if it's ok if she seats us at two four-tops near each other but not together. Mom verbally gives her the go ahead, but I could tell she wasn't truly listening.
Sure enough, Mom then proceeds to blow up our waitress for our family not being sat together. Ranting and raving, etc. It was embarassing af.
It's like boomers don't even view hospitality staff/wait staff as human and worthy of even the basic courtesies.
Yep. I went with my parents to a nice Italian restaurant last week and my mom was looking around and saying "where is the bread? don't we get any bread?". I told her I don't think this was that kind of place. I thought that would shut her up but alas, out server came out and my mom asked her for bread. To which the server replied we would have to order it. My mom was fine with that but it was still cringey for her to ask. Like they are just hiding the bread away in the back? I hate going to eat with them. They are at least polite tho.
I used to. Once my Mom came into my work to see me and my co-worker asked if she was my Mom, and I said no with my Mom standing right there. My Mom is dead now, and I’ll never forget being so embarrassed of her that I did that. Probably made her feel so small. She walked away and left my work immediately after and we never spoke of it. I’d take all the embarrassing moments back if it meant I could have her here again. She used to count her granny change at the grocery store (where I was working at the time of this story), and she’d hold up the line. I used to hate that, but I wish she was still here to do it. She would’ve been 70 this year.
Ugh this hit home! My mom's been gone two years and I would live the worse embarrassing moments over and over again just to have her back and be able to go to dinner with her.
That's why I tell millenials/zoomers on here not to be too harsh on their parents even if they're not perfect. I get downvoted to oblivion of course, but the truth is that you do not want to risk having massive regrets after they pass away.
I definitely have a ton of regrets. I was an asshole. She deserved better. I apologized to her when she was actively dying, she told me it was water under the bridge and not to worry about it, but guilt will always linger. She was never toxic, she was just herself, and I punished her for it because my friends had parents who were young and acted so cool, and I… didn’t. I had an old Mom with old traditions. Unfortunately with older parents they die sooner, too. Something OP needs to keep in mind with a parent in their 80s. Though I understand the cringe they feel because I’ve been there. One day they’ll go out to a restaurant and wait for a table, and their parent(s) will pop up in their mind seating themselves, and they’ll miss it.
We also have to remember how taboo mental health was in their generation. How many of our parents are or were undiagnosed neurodivergent, or had mental health struggles they didn’t get treated because it was frowned upon in society to be different.
My mom (68) will chew a piece of food then half way through the chew decide she doesn't want to eat it (maybe it's too tough) and then spit the chewed food on to the plate. So you're just looking at this chewed lump of food. Once she's done eating she pulls out floss and starts flossing at the table. Both my parents will ask for food to be extra hot 🤷🏻♀️
Increasingly.
Everywhere my dad has ever lived he's had "terrible neighbors". As a child I recall being incredibly embarrassed about how he'd talk to, treat, and demean our neighbors to their faces. There were obviously secondhand effects and we were in turn generally ostracized by the neighborhood kids because their parents all hated my dad.
Everywhere we lived, same story. He'll find some inane reason to pick a fight and go all-in. It was (and still is - hearing him brag about how he went off on his current neighbors for xyz inconsequential thing) horribly awkward and unfortunately he's very witty and really good at being an intimidating asshole. He still thinks he's invincible and someday he's going to get knocked on his mid-60s ass by someone...
Have your parents always been this way? My parents are in their 70s and they have never acted like that in a restaurant. My grandparents who liked to dine out until their death in their 80s never behaved that way, either. I don’t think you can blame it on age or generation.
Yeah, my grandparents are boomers and are not rude to restaurant staff. The worst they will say is that music is to loud and honestly the are usually right about music volumn.
My aren't but I know a pair and they are.... something else. They constantly yell in restaurants when any conversation occurs. They bring up wildly inappropriate subjects I'm public. They never say please and thank you. Drives me fucking nuts to a point I prefer hosting.
What is up with that generation and eating out ? My in laws at 70 and 75 and they’re the same way. And going out to even something as simple as a fast food place, they’re unaware of the line, unaware of how to order properly, just generally unaware of how any of it works and not open to learning either
My parents are 69 and 71 and act similarly obtuse. My older aunts and uncles are even worse. As soon as the server says “hi, how are we doing tonight?” They will immediately respond with “I’ll have X” with no pleasantries. They’ll also ask for refills during peak busy time and right before leaving (after the check is closed). They both make super specific modifications to every order and will complain if it is wrong.
It is all so rude, which baffles me because my parents were SO STRICT with us about manners growing up, but they can’t manage to be polite out in public???
I always end up slipping the waitress and extra 10 or 20 (on top of the tip) and apologizing because I feel so bad. We’ve had conversations about this many times, and it just goes right over their heads 🙄
when I was a server 10-12 years ago, my rudest and stingiest customers were the 60-80 demographic - ordering a $1 soda, hogging a table for HOURS, and tipping like $0.50. But high schoolers were always so patient and polite, and they would tip $5-$10 on a $6 sandwich. 🤷🏼♀️
Nah, your parents are just entitled dicks. Making lame jokes? Eh, okay, not terrible, it's fun, but seating yourself, sitting at a dirty table, AND asking random people for stuff? That's straight trash behavior.
My boomer dad is incredibly embarrassing in a restaurant. He constantly tries to joke and pull little pranks on the waitress and doesn’t realize when nobody is laughing. Then at the end he asks if they have a veterans discount and if they don’t he shames them.
My mother is more like a short fucking fuse. She’ll be “nice” or whatever. But if there’s one mistake or if she waits longer than she thinks is necessary, she’s blowing up. My father on the other hand is a nightmare. He’s culinarily trained and so he’ll hound these poor workers about the quality of the ingredients. I’ll never forget when I was around 10 and there was a less than satisfactory tomato on his sandwich and he’s yelling at this poor kid at subway (subway of all places!), shaking the “questionable” tomato in his face “would YOU eat this?? Here! You eat it.” It was awful. My grandmother, his mom, is the worst though. She will snap at waiters and shout across the restaurant. It’s so awful. My maternal grandfather, now passed, would be so passive aggressive to servers. He’d complain about them moving too slowly (as he sucks down his lemonade in 0.5 seconds), then get mad at me and others if we tipped at all. Going out with family is always a nightmare, so we don’t anymore. I’ll just cook instead of dealing with their behavior lol.
No, my parents understand how restaurants work lol
They have their physical issues nowadays, hearing and sight, but they help eachother and we help them and we all muddle thru together. I love eating out with them. They're good people and treat other people well.
Oh my gosh, you’re just describing my life of my parents. What’s worse is that they love going out to eat, and I cannot tolerate it with them. It’s so so painful. They both worked the service industry so they think they know what’s allowed and can be rude because they remember what it was like? One time my dad fist bumped the server and told him he was doing a good job and then said, “
You’re a funny looking fella, but you do a good job .” 💀 then my mom always needs to explain things to the server, who obviously doesn’t care. She can’t just be clear and ask for an extra side of dressing, she has to explain how sometimes you need more salad dressing blah blah blah. It is truly horrifying.
I saw a comedian the other day whose name I can’t remember but they said that our generation looks at people who haven’t worked in the service industry like our parents look at someone who didn’t serve in Vietnam. And I thought that was pretty telling.
That’s funny. I just think working in the service industry is like a right of passage in life lol
Does retail count?
Retail counts
Retail counts even more, and that’s coming from a server
Holiday retail is like special forces of service industry. Same for restaurants where “kids eat free!” Or you have to serve in any type of character outfit.
And retail doesn't even get tips :(
I worked in layaway at Walmart for I think four Christmases and customer service for ten. I’d be a four star general.
Sir, your men would follow you into hell itself.
I just got a job in an upscale place in a HCOL neighborhood, but we serve wood-fired pizza. Every Friday, right when we open at 5, the floodgates open for "hip" parents with their kids. Some of them are super well behaved and are obviously used to going out to eat. Others are insane. I was rocked the first time I saw it. They order so many sugary drinks for them and let them run everywhere. Last week there there 3 kids with their parents who each had 3 shirley temples, playing on a fire pit, unsupervised. The parents were right there but not paying attention. I've also seen little girls who squeal at the top of their lungs for 30 mins straight with no intervention. I absolutely couldn't work in a place that was actually focused on families. They get in the way and create dangerous situations, make a huge mess, grab anything that isn't nailed down and run into staff only areas where people are handling plates and trays of drinks. There's not enough money in the world and for the money that those servers do make, I can't even imagine putting up with it. I don't mind kids, but parents are the problem. Once had a kid throw an entire serving of buttered noodles all over the restaurant, including the front window, which led to several people almost hurting these badly when they slipped on the butter. Grandma was endorsing this behavior too. It was a $20 dish on top of it all.
I worked a toy department for one year, and electronics the remaining 4. I am battle hardened in the way of holiday retail
I wonder if my Vietnam vet dad would ever understand the ptsd I have a decade later from secret shoppers. I'm half joking half not. I'm feeling pissed off just bringing it up.
Ugh FUCK secret shoppers. All they do is give management an easy out to fire people they don't like. Where I used to work, some people would get fired or given a "weekend off" if they missed a step on their secret shop, but if the golden children missed the same step(s) they'd still get a "great shop, you'll get a perfect score next time!" Dani and T at On the Border can suck my musty nuts
I’m so glad I only had to deal with secret shoppers once. I feel like a lot of restaurants aren’t using them anymore… or maybe I’m just being hopeful.
Does mental health count, where you take care of people from all walks of life?
Yes, thank you for your service. I worked in the CBRF world for 5 years. Pay was shit but it was rewarding to actually help folks. Holy shit was it hard work though. Getting attacked and chasing after eloping patients was nuts. I have the best stories.
God, I WISH. I think people should have an obligation to do a three-year tour in an IHOP when they turn 18 like some countries do with the army.
My mother worked in a old folks home when she was 19. She still treats people in the service industry like shit for the most part. Kind of like how some poor people become rich but stay humble. While other poor people become rich and just trash on poor people.
This is such a good idea. Everyone has to work a minimum wage service job after finishing school. I feel like the world would be a much better place if people like Kim Kardashian had to cook fries and bag orders for a year. Making billionaires feel the pain of the Everyman might make them feel a little more sympathetic.
I did 3 years at BK, 1 year at Circuit City, and 3 years at On the Border... Been office-employed the last 15 years now but those memories remain pretty visceral
Or waffle house. That'll definitely get em right
I’ve thought this for awhile! I’m emailing my congressional representative right now.
Absolutely. I think everyone should work at least once In their life in hospitality or retail
Check out the BoomersBeingFools sub. You are not alone.
I always felt that anyone in a management position should have to spend some time doing entry level positions so they have a better understanding of how it all works. Unfortunately, that will never catch on. The closest I have seen is Undercover bosses and who knows how much was edited.
My in laws work exclusively in the service industry. My mil is the absolute worst at restaurants. She once picked on a waitress for being too slow. I had to point out that she was extremely pregnant. The amount of “going to the restroom” as a cover to Pre tip and apologize is astronomical. The worst part is she complains endlessly about the people that do the same things she does when she’s working. Some people are just rude.
What does "going to the restroom as a cover to pre tip" mean?
So the family doesn’t know I’m doing it. Because the last thing a server needs is a giant family fight. I excuse myself to the restroom and then try to catch our server out of sight. Give them a tip in advance. Tell them I’m so sorry about MIL. They’re doing great. If anything maybe it will prevent them from spitting in my food. But also they don’t have to worry that she won’t tip them. Which she doesn’t. But has no clue I already have.
You are a good person.
I'd reward this post if that was still a thing.
Wow this blew my mind
Former long term, 50 caliber dishwasher here. I do my best to be a good patron when eating out. I was in Vietnam with my dad who served in the war lol, and his credit card wasn’t working after a meal. The girl was cool but didn’t speak English and we don’t speak Vietnamese. So she was cool and kept trying but he had to start yelling at her, In English about how much money he has in his bank account and that it’s her problem. God it was so rude on so many levels, and eventually it did work. Totally wack. I actually cite this as one of the reasons I don’t talk to him anymore. Not only was he being a dick but he was also yelling English at someone in a country where it’s not the main spoken language…yuck I can’t stand it.
It must be an ad on prime or YouTube because I've seen the same stand-up guy but now can't remember where I saw the ad even though it made me want to watch his special🤦🏼♀️
That specific part of comedy special went viral on tiktok. I don’t know comedian but I’ve had that same joke pop up multiple times
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLFShLKB/ Grant Winkels
My parents don't know anyone who served in Vietnam. Only about 10 percent of male boomers served in Vietnam. I'm betting a lot more people of our generation worked in the service industry.
Here's what my parents do: Dad forgets his reading glasses, always, even though he's needed them the past 15+ years. So he can't read the menu, mom loudly reads some things from the menu (hearing loss, refuses help) to figure out what he wants. He decides. They put their menus down. We start chatting. Server shows up to take our order. My dad says "I want a burger" or something equally vague and starts acting like he's never been in a restaurant before. The server then has to talk him through all the burger options until she's figured out what he wants. When I was younger, my mom used to order for my dad but now I've noticed she's just let it become the servers problem. Now she will use her newfound free time to stare at the menu again til the last possible minute until she decides on a grilled cheese and a glass of pinot grigio, or something equally wild that no one ever orders. I wouldn't trade them for the world but sometimes I think I was found in a trash can or something lol
Omg!!! My dad orders “a burger well done with nothing on the inside except lettuce and tomato” he means a patty so well cooked it’s a hockey puck and no toppings or sauce except for the lettuce and tomato. He doesn’t even look at the menu to see the options. It’s just “a burger” and then gets upset when it doesn’t come out right.
The hockey puck took me out 😂
Omg I really thought this was just my parents. The asking for something vague and making the server do gymnastics to figure out what he wants? Then does your dad do the exasperated sigh "Why is it *so hard* to get a burger? You all haven't cooked a burger here before?" And my mom does the same thing, ordering something really strange. "I want the southwest salad, but no lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, tortilla strips or salad dressing. And can you add a beef patty and some bread." Waiter: "So you want a burger? With the cheese and the bacon from the salad?" Mom: "No, I said I wanted a southwest salad." 🤦♀️
Ok now I’m wondering if it’s a generational thing or a mental thing…there are too many stories like this, but it’s bizarre to think such a huge population spread all over the US has so many common “things”. This is all so insane to me.
It's a damn lead thing. Boomers were all poisoned by lead, AND IT GOT DAMN HAS MADE AN ENTIRE GENERATION OR TWO OF ABSOLUTE CRAZY PEOPLE. They are all generally mental. My mom is 78 and acts a complete fool in public at the drop of a hat. If the servers don't meet her imaginary standards, essentially how she was as a server in the late 60s, then I have to endure her lecturing them on better serving strategies. She gives detailed instructions on how to improve their body language so customers feel more appreciated, read: worshipped. And that's only if the servers remain uncommonly polite. If she detects any resistance or the server tries to set boundaries all hell breaks loose and she begins cussing out everyone within earshot. We most recently got kicked out mid meal because the bar was out of her favorite shitty beer and she couldn't believe that she would have to choose literally anything else. It's so embarrassing.
Thank you for bringing up lead exposure. It's a huge problem for the older generations, and it's only going to keep getting worse. Lead stays in the bones, so as our elders lose bone mass the trapped lead is released so they're being re-poisoned over and over again for the rest of their lives. It would be more tragic if it didn't make people such relentless assholes.
A mental thing- mental gymnastics
I wonder if stuff like this has to do with dementia or something similar
Maybe exposure to lead during their lives.
It's always the lead. The whole generation is bonkers, and it's well known but they're still in charge of everything. This is a major problem and I really don't know if we're going to survive them. They've ruined the climate, ruined nations through insanely greedy policies, and are actively trying to cripple the nation with their "conservative" core values.
I think about this every day. It's terrifying.
Oh the hearing thing has recently surfaced with my mom. The TV is SO loud and she asks people to repeat things a dozen times and claims everyone is “mumbling nowadays” Ah, no, the common denominator is you, my dear. I suggested she gets a hearing test and you’d think I asked her to tattoo her face. She *flipped* out. It was so weird. It’s not even an invasive test, takes less than 10 mins and maybe then she’d be able to hear again- but for some reason she’s got it in her head the hearing aid are the size of a Geo Metro and would be super obvious. I showed her pics of people online with them in and you could only see them if you walked up to them and stared hard at their ear holes. How is she so vain at 72 that she’s too classy/fancy/pretty for hearing aids? So weird to me.
My stepfather (88) is like this. He's gone completely deaf and refuses to admit it. He just sits around in silence all day. Helluva existence.
No matter where we eat, it always goes as follows: Dad: I'm not really hungry. I'm just going to get a sandwich. Mom: There's so many things in this menu that look good... Dad: {starts telling story that my mom starts chiming in on} Server: Hey folks, can I get you started with some drinks? Are we ready to order or do we need a minute? Mom (in panicked state): I need another minute. Me (as the server is walking away): I'll take a beer and so will my dad. Dad: {continues story while my mom continues to chime in} Server (5 minutes later with drinks): So, do we know what we want yet? Me (to my mom): Are you ready to order? Mom (panicking again): I'm not sure, but I'll figure it out. You go first. Me: {orders food} Dad: I'll have the... (opens menu and looks it over for a minute while the server stands there debating if they should come back) prime rib. Mom: I'll have the wedge salad. And then I sit there exasperated that my dad went from not hungry to ordering a prime rib with extra sides and that it took my mom 15 minutes to settle on the most basic item on the menu. Sometimes I'll ask the server to come back a second time if the place isn't busy, but 9 times out of 10 my mom ends up ordering the most basic salad in the menu regardless. And of course my dad will comment about how long it's taking for the food to come out after he just ordered prime rib and a baked potato at 11 AM.
Are you me? The only change would be Dad complaining about the service speed on the drive home. Followed by me pointing out that they did visit the table 12 times to ask if mom was ready to order. At which point my mother tells my dad to calm down. At which point, he removes his hearing aides. At which point mom and I discuss all of my dad’s recent “transgressions”, while he stares out the window, oblivious.
omg I just doubled over laughing at that last one thank you lol
Found in a trash can! I’m dying lol
This sounds like how going out with my dad was. It was always embarrassingly funny things. Like, he might decide on something, but when it came time to order, he'd ask for some modification that made it a completely different item on the menu. The server would be like, "oh you want this item?" And he'd be confused why they're suggesting something else. With him gone now, I wouldn't trade those memories either. We just went out to eat with my mom tonight, and we were laughing about the time at the same restaurant, he went outside to dance in the window just to make our kids laugh.
Ugh my Dad will call the waitress “babe” “sweetheart” . I try to make a point to ask the servers name , so there isn’t an excuse for the nicknames Edit: it’s only weird because he would NEVER call a male server “hun”, “dude” , “bro” “sweetie” “sweetheart”, “sport” or “boss”. Or any other Nick names. It just seems sexist that he thinks it’s okay for pet names for women,… even after I ask for their names directly…. Heck, I would even accept “Miss, or Ma’am” as an appropriate way to call for a server. It would be *slightly* different if he knew the servers or bartenders because he build up a report with them…. OR if the server called him “babe” or “hon” first- I guess I would have a different opinion… But just something erks me about him calling a female “sweetie” or “babe”- especially since i can tell it makes the
Oh that’s really bad. That would embarrass me.
Nothing triggers me more than someone calling me sweetheart, honey, or baby/babe. I work for a doctor office answering phones, and a patient once called me sweetheart, but in a condescending tone like I was a dumbass and I almost hung up on him. But you know, if I did that, I would have been fired, lol.
*Crinkles paper at mouth piece* Wa....? ....llo? Hang up.
Im going to guess the reaction will change if it’s a female saying it. Cause ladies call me sweetheart and babe often and I’m like 🥰
It def depends on who is saying it and how. I've seen it work and not work with either gender. But men are gonna be less likely to pull it off due to gender dynamics for sure.
Yeah well when men say it it’s usually said with hidden intentions so I can understand that. Silly name haha nice
Are you a man or woman? I’m a man and older ladies, especially black ladies say this to me and I really like it.
OMFG I used to work with the sneakiest most malignant bitch who weaponized the sweeties and honeys and absolutely nothing could be proven or done about it. She said it in a tone that absolutely seethed, but never when anyone important could overhear.
That is weird but it is commonly not considered weird the other way around, especially in the south. Wait staff and gas station employees constantly do it. Babe is less common but it does happen.
It’s practical because it’s usually gender neutral. Nothing’s worse than ruining your good manners by making mistakes on that. I served hospital patients, and let’s just say when you’re serving someone who’s under covers and has bed head and no make and you don’t know their first name, it can happen.
Remember, they are from a generation where service people were considered beneath them, the help, and it was perfectly fine to ogle your waitress. Mentally, for many, those days are becoming fresher in their minds. Just also remember these things changed over their lifetime, so they did good things too.
That's a nice way of saying "they have dementia".
My dad does this too. Creepy!
So my parents are only in their late 50’s and mid 60’s, but they’re already getting to that point of lacking common sense and being rude. My mom likes to open mouth cough into the air like a toddler, tongue curl and everything. She doesn’t wash her hands after using the bathroom because she doesn’t think it’s needed and talks about her bowel movements in detail. My dad isn’t nearly as bad as my mom, but they are both at that point where they don’t think food safety and expiration dates are a thing. The same things they were criticizing my grandmother for like 10-15 years ago, they’re doing. They leave foods out for a very long time that shouldn’t be kept out, keep foods that are unsafe because they’re so expired, yet they’re convinced that they’re still good, store things in improper containers and don’t cover them. Sometimes I wait for them to both be gone so I can clean out gross foods that they’d get mad if I tossed, but if I do it while they’re away, they won’t realize what they’re missing. I just really hope they don’t serve unsafe foods to other people and I already know they’ve both gotten sick from eating leftovers that needed to go like a week prior. I don’t think they go out to eat often, but my mom is especially rude to workers.
When you said open mouth cough like a toddler, "curl tongue and everything" I fucking lost it 😂
…yeah… does your mom slurp every bitte of her food, too? Like an audible suction noise with every fork, not just soup. 🫠 and dad couldn’t care less about sitting down in time for a shared meal. Two 70 yo and they need two fridges, and still food is piling up all over every surface of the kitchen. It’s moth central in their pantry…
I tend to tune people out while they’re eating or try my best anyway. Luckily my parents don’t have a bug problem but there’s a garage fridge with sour cream that’s been there since thanksgiving and who knows what’s in the freezer, all the stuff in the kitchen fridge/freezer and pantries, the deep freezer in the basement, and all the canned and dry goods. My grandmother is even worse though. I was over there in the summer and I was hoping she had some chocolate and she had all these bars that had expired around 2015-2017 range. Definitely not interested in mottled white and brown chocolate.
I don’t eat at my grandmothers house. You’re risking severe illness if you do. She must have a stomach of steal. I still haven’t recovered from the Macaroni and Cheese Catastrophe of 1996.
Seriously what is the deal with the 2 fridges? My grandfather did this until a few years ago and my in-laws do this. The fridge in the kitchen is jam packed with expired food. I know for a fact I got food poisoning from the ranch dressing. The garage fridge is also completely full with various varieties of colored fuzz (Jimmy Carter said that casserole was delicious!), and then their giant freezer seems to be housing Jack Frost’s beard trimmings disguised as freezer burnt ice cream from the Reagan administration.
Open sneezing/coughing is my biggest pet peeve. It's so easy to NOT do.
Same here. The sounds of sneezing actually drives me insane I hate it so much. What’s perplexes me is this same woman who taught me growing up to cough into my elbow and cover my sneezes is now doing the opposite of that; things that I did as a small child before I knew any better.
Me too haha, the sound triggers me unless it's from someone who I know is good about covering up.
I taught my kid in just a few days to cover their mouth with an elbow at 2 years old. Wasn’t that hard- but I can’t get my mom to stop picking at her teeth at the table.
These are early signs of dementia
I have no doubt my mom is possibly is in some sort of early cognitive decline. I’ve worked very closely in previous jobs with people who have had dementia. Still, it’s too early to do anything and much of the time she’s stubborn. My dad is also stubborn and actively makes fun of anything related to food safety.
Cognitive decline. I like that term, but it sounds like a blanket statement for “wait and see”. Not that it matters. I can’t get my mom to take a hearing test, I doubt I’ll get her to get a cognitive test.
Yeah, that’s unfortunately how it is and cognitive decline into an actual dementia diagnosis is a very “wait and see” type problem. There has to be a noticeable pattern vs a few off days or general forgetfulness with age. My time working with the elderly, there were residents that would start off fairly independent, but then we’d start noticing things and would begin reporting incidents to case management and once it got to a certain point, the resident would get a formal evaluation by a physician. Being around it so much, I know what signs to look out for in my mom. I think she’s still in the forgetfulness with age stage since she hasn’t had any red flag behaviors yet. Like you said though, it’s hard for them to accept that they need help for simple things such as a hearing test because the denial is strong.
ALL of our parents have early signs of dementia???? ALL OF US?!?? I don’t know whah the numbers are on Boomer dementia but this seems like really high numbers if we go just by Reddit posts.
Omg my mom does the cough too! She also has allergies and instead of, yk, going to the restroom to blow her nose, she just snorks everything into the back of her throat.
Oh my god, as someone with two small children the way you described the open mouth cough and tongue curl made me 🤢 You really nailed it lol
My mom gets monthly food poisoning at her local casino from eating their chili cheese dogs I once suggested that perhaps she should skip them since they are obviously not agreeing with her stomach or they aren’t following proper food serving standards but her response was “But they are *so* good!” On my life, I cannot think of one thing that is so good that I would risk monthly food poisoning for over a decade. There is no way that fucking chili dog is worth it.
Oh god, yeah I fully agree with you because there’s no way they’re that good. I got food poisoning from Burger King in 2009 and I think I’ve been back there maybe 3 times since? I don’t get fast food often anyway and I’d never get that specific food item ever again.
Wow, my parents are the same with food. I don’t even look in the fridge when I’m there and they have plenty of money and time , they just don’t see the value in making sure food is safe to eat . My mom has also taken to breathing really, intentionally loudly because it’s “the right way to breathe” . It’s not , and it’s why I can’t be around for her too long , it’s super irritating!
Oh yikes. She’s Gen X. I fear nothing more than us turning into The Boomers.
My mom is actually the boomer of the couple. A young boomer, but still. My dad isn’t far behind her being an older gen x. I really hope that once I reach their age that I still practice hygiene, food safety, human decency….
My parents are generally not rude to strangers, but they definitely keep expired food and medication lol. I went on vacation with them a couple years ago and got a bug bite. My mom was like “no problem, I have Benadryl cream!” When I put it on, it was all crusty and nasty. Turns out it expired in the late 90s. 😩
My father is like this. He has snapped at waitstaff before, resulting in everyone else at the same table scolding him in complete shock.
My dad has snapped at waitstaff, customer service people over the phone, retail staff - and for the littlest things too. It’s beyond embarrassing.
My husband’s dad is like this. He’s in his 70s. Going to a restaurant with him is such an awful experience. He has an issue with everything: lighting is too low; restaurant is too loud; he doesn’t know the “weird” ingredients on the menu; doesn’t want to order a burger medium rare (even though that’s how he likes his burgers) because he doesn’t know where the restaurant gets their meat from; why can’t he just get a potato side dish even though menu states the entree comes with a different side dish; server has to come to the table multiple times before he’s ready to order; argues about prices when the bill comes; never wants to compromise when it comes to ordering shared dishes and just wants to order what he wants; loves fish, but always ends up finding his dish too fishy even though we’re at a nice restaurant and the fish is prepared well. I could go on forever.
I could actually read more 😂
You've just reminded me when I invigilated at an exhibition that had Picasso, Salvador Dali, and Degas drawings that were leant to the gallery. The lighting was very low in order to protect the drawings because they were delicate. The number of Boomers that would complain to me about it, as if I was about to swap out the bulbs for them, was frustrating, to say the least. It didn't matter how much I explained why it's dim, its like they were personally offended. They remained annoyed even after I explained. You could easily see the drawings fine, it was just darker than usual. It was a free exhibition, too. We made it extremely accessible for visitors
The fish is too fishy.
Yes, all of my siblings know that going out with the parents is embarrassing and to never take them to your fav spots. None of them warned me. I wrote an apology letter to my local ice cream shop….
I’m kinda curious about what kind of damage they did at an ice cream shop
They are just extremely rude. Making negative comments about anything you could possibly comment on. I live in a small town, this ice cream shop is within walking distance to my house. It’s won awards, has lines out the door all summer. My parents opinions and complaints mean nothing to them, but they are embarrassing to me. That was the last time I went out to eat with them. My dad is also a very “serious” yelper and prides himself in never giving a place “his five stars” lol he’s a narcissist going senile.
Precious stars. ✨
'Do you know how to act? My goodness, I never would have thought my grandmothers were capable of having raised such feral beasts. You're the kind of people that give servers nightmare stories, you know that? Honestly you shouldn't be out in public anymore, your lack of awareness is anti-social behavior and is absolutely disgusting.' And that's how I stopped going out to dinner with my mother.
I'm impressed. I'd be dead if I said this out loud to my mother.
My mother is.... very likely not like your mother. My mother has a lot of issues, and thus caused a lot of my issues, and the very least she can do is hear me when I tell her what she's done. The alternative is to have no one around, I still care about her--I just don't tolerate her nonsense and have made that very clear.
this is 100% full of amazing gems 💎
I can't go for lunch with my dad anymore. He drops the N word, complains, and loudly talks about how he will not tip. It's fuckin pathetic.
My parents are only in their late 50s but they started acting like my grandparents, who act like this, as soon as they hit 50. They qoute are "too old to put up with this shit anymore". I don't eat out with them anymore bc I'm not about having people spit in my food bc my parents want to act like a pair of jackasses at a family restaurant.
Do you think we are going to do this too??? Because I’m really not all that far from 50…..
No, generational behaviors depend on experiences. Ours is more empathetic to people who have shitty jobs than theirs - we don't glorify employers like they do. You'll be OK, buddy, you're aging gracefully and with tact
This is standard entitled boomer behavior honestly.
Whenever I call out my parents they’re super defensive and insist they’re correct so I’ve given up
I have dealt with similar situations with my Mom. At this point I just tell her she’s wrong and leave it at that because at this stage in their lives they ain’t changing anything. They’ve had this mindset their whole life, we would have better luck arguing with a stop sign.
I wouldn't call out your parents, I would talk directly to the server and apologize for their behavior and explain exactly why you are apologizing every single time. Example: "I'm so sorry, sally. I'm not sure why my dad was so rude to you right then. You don't deserve to have anyone talk to you that way. Thank you for waiting on us and being a professional even when customers are rude to you." That way, regardless of the situation, you are giving the attention where it needs to be. Like toddlers, when one hits another, you comfort the toddler who may be injured, not give the other toddler attention.
This is the same generation that smacked our elbows off tables and made us sit with our backs ramrod straight?
I remember my dad was being really racist in public. He’s talking in a really fake African American dumb accent about fried chicken, in shall we say, mixed company. I literally told him he can never do that. He’s like “don’t tell me what to do”. So I figured, tell him to ask a boomer, all his friends looked so uncomfortable. So I told him to ask his friends if I was right. He never said “you’re right” however, he never did it again. His friends all looked mortified. When I say mixed company. I mean it was a diverse group of people, some of whom looked pissed. It’s like, even if it was just old white boomers, they wouldn’t like that. Some years later, a guy acted like that at a fancy social club, just to me, he said he had two weed plants, he’s like “I call them the obamas”. So someone asked me what he said. I’m told them, and they said what do you think of that? I said “he thinks he’s going to get into this club soon, but saying stuff like that will make him persona non grata where I’m from”.
I had a family member spouting racist non-sense about people of colour coming into the country, bringing all their families and getting elected to office so they can take over the government. He then turned to my Latinx wife and said, “It’s okay. I consider you white.” Bless her, she made a joke about it, but dear god I felt like my jaw stayed dropped for an entire week after that comment. I tore a strip off him later about it because I was too shocked in the moment to formulate a response.
Whoa, that’s pretty fucked up.
It really really was.
My dirtbag uncle, 8th grade education, dumb as a post, told me, at 11, that he “urinated off a hotel balcony on n*****rs” I’m like what is that? He’s like…. “Black people!” I said why? He’s like “because they’re black” He found out I was gay and sent this weird threatening letter I sent to my brother, who wouldn’t show it to my parents, who he advised to call the police, who did go see the dirt bag. He broke into my late grandmothers house and sold all her famous fathers art, and burned all the family photos. He’s growing weed now, must be selling to children bc the market is so over saturated. Can’t make money like that.
Everyone has a shitty uncle. It’s one of those fun universal things that isn’t really fun.
A few Boomers have come into my white looking husband’s business (he is Hispanic) and being in a Republican city, some like to be very vocal about various minorities It brings him never ending joy to subtly direct their attention to our family photo on the wall that clearly shows his wife (me, being of multiple mixed race that can pass for a lot of things, none of them white). They snap their mouths shut so fast. So far, only one left.
I remember this one time my nieces were playing something and started doing eenie meenie mini mo to decide something. At one point my father in law said 'that's not the correct way.' I told him there's no need to say what he was about to say. A few seconds later I heard him say 'catch a n*****'. I told the kids not to listen to their grandad. The eldest was 10 and seemed to know that's not something to be said at all, but it was baffling that he thought it was a reasonable thing to say in front of a 10 and 8 year old. Even if he doesn't live in the US, those kids do. My daughter was a newborn at the time but I told my wife he better not repeat crap like that in front of our kid/s
There are plenty of Boomers that know right from wrong. They aren’t all clueless. I’m really proud of your dad’s friends calling him out on his behavior.
My mom (65) will spend 10 minutes looking at every single thing on the menu and commenting on how it seems interesting even though she knows she won't like or eat probably 75% of it (either too spicy for her aka it has more than a dash of pepper or just something she doesn't like) and she picked the restaurant, ask the waiter 82 questions about the other 25%, including whether she can get X side with Y dish even when the menu clearly says no substitutions, then tell the waiter she needs a few more minutes and she'll let him/her know when she's ready...then get mad that the waiter took drink orders for the rest of the table because she hasn't even *looked* at the drinks yet and oh goodness how can she possibly make a decision? It's exhausting. And also why when I go home to visit, I tell her I'm really craving something from a particular restaurant that I know she knows the menu by heart and has basically three set orders, and when she visits me I tell her the non-chains are newer and still working out the kinks so let's go to a chain where she kinda knows the menu.
It’s exhausting. My dad (83) always asks the servers if things are “hot” AKA spicy which nobody ever understands. His definition of spicy is anything that is seasoned with anything at all. He’s in his boiled chicken and broccoli stage of life.
The struggle is real.
My dad does the hot vs spicy thing too! Servers never understand when he asks if the food is hot so he just keeps repeating the same question, just making the word “hot” louder and more emphasized each time, as if that clears up the confusion. If they still don’t understand he gets agitated and finally blurts out something like “does it burn!” I’ve told him multiple times to say “spicy” and he still says “hot” for whatever reason
I think it’s an old people thing. Like how my mom says “cream rinse” for conditioner or “rouge” instead of blush lol
Did a day trip to London yesterday. My family didn't know how to get through train barriers.
Yeah, my dad (59) will snap his fingers to get waiters’ attention or yell “Hey.” I have had multiple arguments with him at Texas Roadhouse about not dropping the free peanut shells on the floor instead of onto a plate. My mom (59) will complain loudly about issues with her food or the wait or whatever but then is too anxious to say anything to the staff about her undercooked food or her drink that needs a refill and wants someone else to do it for her.
The floor thing with peanuts is actually a thing, probably NOT at the Texas Roadhouse you're going to, but there are places that have it approved. It's an old school way to keep the floors clean, these days you have to replace the sawdust every day though.
Like yeah everyone did it at the time but I still find it inconsiderate when you could just as easily put it on a plate and save someone work.
Omfg, I have a snapping parent. He did it in a shoe store last year after waiting literally ten seconds at the register because the sole employee was assisting another senior customer. Then he and the senior behind us talked shit about said lone employee and lazy young people. I nearly lost it there, but just angry-whispered (like you would to a naughty child) that they were both being entitled nightmare customers who should be ashamed. They did not like it but at least had the grace to stfu. I don't understand this behavior from someone who positively drilled me on manners as a kid.
I’m convinced older people are completely aware just dgaf.
Oh man. I’m really sorry. That would irritate me. Not the same thing, but I was wondering about something kind of similar the other day. When my parents come to my apartment they say things like “I don’t like those curtains” and I just find it so rude and unnecessary. I don’t like things in my parents’ house but would never say it. My rule is unless it’s a health and safety issue (like you forgot to turn your burner off or there’s medication left out and I’m afraid the dog will eat it) then I don’t say anything. Anybody else have parents who critique your home and not just that but your clothing and body?! Also on another topic I’m not sure if this is weird or just me but my boomer parents will come to my apartment and talk about my roommate and I’m like omg they might be in their room, I dunno, so can you not say anything about them?! Nothing like “Oh they suck” but just like “Does your roommate watch tv late at night? Does it bother you?” And like what if they did and now they’re pissed at me because I “told on them”? Maybe that’s me being paranoid but I would never talk about someone who might be around. Can any of you relate?
No, that does sound annoying af ngl
My mom won't come right out and say something is ugly or dirty but, for example, after my first child she just kept harping on and on about how I should get a cleaning service to clean for me. And I would say, "mom, I can't afford that." And she'd just say, "Well, it's worth it to not have that extra worry about keeping things clean." And I get it, I just had a baby and it would have lightened my load, but my house isn't that dirty and if I can't afford something and I have said that multiple times, at that point STOP talking about it!
Yes both my parents and their partners. I hate going out with them they're quite rude. My sister and I both have worked hospitality and have a real world view.
I don’t take my mom and her boyfriend to restaurants I actually like because they are so rude to the staff. I’d be too embarrassed to ever go back. They change their order after it’s already in the kitchen. They have to ask for weird substitutions as some sort of bizarre power move. I just bring them Chinese take out when I go to see them now lol
You're smart for thinking ahead lol!!
Luckily, my mom (stepmom) owned a catering company for many years and 3 of my brothers worked in F&B for a while. My parents are both pretty chill when it comes to eating out at a restaurant. There are other boomer things that drive us crazy but not related to restaurants.
Yeah, this thread is making my parents seem like very reasonable people (which they are not lol). They always taught us to be kind to waitstaff and tip well. My mom is a picky eater, but she just knows to order things she likes. My dad eats anything except chicken. Going out to eat with them isn’t bad due to their restaurant manners; it’s usually because the conversation shifts to some boomer parent shit that makes it unbearable.
My mom makes so many substitutions and asks so many questions I want to hide. Then my dad gets obsessed about serving etiquette and will make a scene if someone clears a plate when other people are still eating. I’m constantly apologizing
Yes, my dad is starting to become like this. If we have to wait at all, my dad will make little comments when the server finally comes over. They’ll say “how are we doing?” And my dad will say some shit like “oh we’re doing good, just been having to wait a while but it’s okay!” But he says it in a way to show he’s clearly annoyed but not rude enough to get called out if that makes sense. It’s just so passive and embarrassing lol.
Passive aggressive comments are their bread and butter.
I also have what I’d consider older parents for our generation. My mom makes “jokes” that fall flat all the time. Or tries to be relatable and understanding but the way she says shit is so cringe. A lot of times I know she comes across as condescending or rude. She has absolutely no ill intentions, but it makes me want to die inside bc outsiders don’t know she’s just trying to be relatable. My dad has dementia so he has no filter which is a whole other situation. But my mom is fully aware and she just does things that make me cringe so hard.
Yeah, I think you’ve got at least one good Boomer in there doing what Boomers do. Mine aren’t that wild. My mom does complain a lot about people in customer service, which drives me batshit. She holds low wage or minimum wage service people to like, a super high standard. If they aren’t perfect in every way, she bitches about them bitterly and how they should work hard at their jobs and be grateful. Honestly, that anyone tolerates those wages is a tragedy and a crisis. The oppressed working class would be within their God-given rights to form a massive militia and completely overturn modern commerce as we know it. Please don’t expect someone earning 12 dollars an hour to fellatio you and rub your feet.
My parents (68) are great at restaurants because they've both worked in the service industry/customer service. My dad is a little more "Boomerish" but he does okay, nothing egregious. He also tips \*really\* well in cash so it kind of makes up for it. My MIL is either the youngest Boomer or oldest Gen X depending on where you think the cutoff is and she's an entire nightmare to go to a restaurant with.
Omg yes. My dad is 70. Took him to the nice Chinese buffet in town. We're sitting in the middle of the large, open restaurant that is crowded with people. We get to talking about how busy the restaurant is, and he loudly exclaims for all to hear, "Boy, these Orientals sure are hard workers!" I just about crawled under my chair lol. The darn thing is, he meant it as a compliment. But he has no idea how that term comes across, despite me talking to him about this stuff all the time.
My grandma (born in the 20s) used to say Orientals for any type of Asian person, and I would always want to curl into a hole and die.
Sounds like boomers
My dad is 83. Strangely he’s pretty laid back. My mom it’s a 68 year old nightmare though. She automatically hates every server. Finds something wrong to excuse not tipping and talks down to them. I usually just pay the bill myself so I can be sure they get tipped.
Huh…is this new behavior or have they always acted like this? Because when my dad developed dementia one of the early signs I saw of a cognitive decline was how he had trouble thinking of others‘ viewpoints and some of the social manners. He did start making inappropriate jokes and weird behavior (by the time he lost a lot of the ability to communicate he also got very grabby in the nursing home) but not remembering how the hostess position worked and complaining loudly about how long he was waiting was a problem we had way back. Anyways my mom is still around please don’t kill off the Applebees or Chilis until she’s gone or I won’t be able to take her anywhere. :)
so many of the comment I've read make me wonder how many of our parents are showing signs of dementia.
I feel you on the Applebee's thing, to my parents that's the epitome of "fine dining" as it is. I can barely get them to try anything that isn't a burger or fried chicken.
A thing I notice is my age and younger people at a restaurant almost always set the table with everything at the end so it’s easier for it to be cleared. If we happen to drop something on the table we clean it up. Also saying thank you whenever anything is done for us by the server. Watch the 60+ people. They will literally trash the table. Order 60 bucks worth of food and leave a 5 dollar tip. All while treating the server like shit. It’s wild. A friend of mine works at a slightly upscale Italian place as a waiter. He makes six figures with his tips. Tell the older people that and they get pissed. It’s some generational divide thing where they view that role as only being done by people who can’t do anything else.
My mother in law is in her mid 60's, and I won't go anywhere with her because she's SO embarrassing. Most of it might have to do with her being poor, but she would insist on treating me and my children to lunch or shoes/ them an outfit, and hold up a line asking for the price of each item. Then arguing about the sale. She doesn't care how long the line is. She is only worried about herself. Everyone else notices the cashier getting frustrated, but still being nice, and then they will start rolling their eyes and sighing every time she asks another question. Is she completely oblivious? She would also do this even if I was paying. She'd want to go with me to run a few errands, and I'd put everything on the belt, and each time the cashier would scan something, she'd ask how much it was... like, it's none of your business, but if you insist on being so nosey, look at the damn cashier's screen!! She knows how I like to stay on the DL and will scream my name a few aisles over and ask personal questions while we are shopping. My grandmother would do that when I was young, and I'd want to melt into the floor. She also felt like it was completely appropriate to undress my toddler in the buggy in the middle of the store to try on clothes. I asked her why, and she felt like because she was a baby, she didn't need privacy.
Omg that’s horrifying. My parents aren’t that bad but my mom does ask the cashier everywhere if she can pay with a check. Mom nobody uses checks anymore. People walking around with naked babies is wild though. I don’t know why people feel that that’s appropriate.
Omg! My husband talks about how she'd only write checks. He said he would be so embarrassed for some reason in the grocery checkout line while she's writing a check and everyone else is using a card. She hated when stores stopped accepting checks, and was reluctant to get a card. Crazy!
Mine are impatient as well. Best solution I've found is to have them smoke a joint before going out. THEN they chill out and have a good time. If not, they are impatient, incredibly rude, and I end up apologizing to everyone and leaving an extra hefty tip. If they're high? We all tip well and call it a great time out! As always, be responsible when driving.
Your boomer parents aren’t the type of parents OP is talking about lol. The type of parents OP is talking about would never smoke a joint before going out. I know bc I have parents like OPs parents.
Very true! I'm sorry your boomers are difficult. Best of luck with them!
Is this why my dad was never like this, and still isn't? He smokes? (He has also been in the industry in some way or another since he was 16...)
At a shop today, my mom who is 65, picked up something obviously expensive and asked the owner how much it cost. When the owner said the price my mom went “wow that’s expensive” Like it was obviously expensive, you didn’t need to ask the price, and you didn’t need to make that comment. I know it’s a small comment but this shop is right by my house so I go often and was just embarrassed. Like what did she want the owner to say.
I get that. My mom does stuff like that too.
We were on a cruise ship and for their anniversary my husbands parents had a nice dinner with the family together and a lot of the crew came and sang a special song from (I think) Nigeria. It was quite lovely and his dad throws his hands up and says, I shit you not, “Woo, Lion King!” I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Who thinks that’s…FINE TO SAY?!?! Or appropriate?!?!
My mom is 77 and was a waitress for 20+ years, and she treats wait staff like shit. I refuse to eat out with her because of the things she says to them at times. She also does not tip well at all.
My parents are in their mid-60’s, while my husband’s parents are late and early-50’s. The stark contrast in going out with my parents vs. his is astounding. My dad will waive down the waitstaff and whistle if he’s not seen. My mom will act surprised every time she’s asked for her order and find something wrong with the dish every time. It’s exhausting.
My in-laws are in that age range, I love them dearly but don’t look forward to restaurant visits with them. I’m always embarrassed by their behaviors and their ‘custom’ orders. My MIL always tries to order peach sangria, year round, off menu, at every restaurant. When told they don’t have peach sangria she asks for peach schnapps with white wine. My FIL basically tries to create his own dishes, and demands scallops or tuna steak be served well-done/crispy.
My parents turn into crazy people out at restaurants. I always pick up the bill and tip at least 50 percent because of it. My dad flirts with any woman working there but he’s also super rude. He’s one that will tell the waiter we aren’t ready to order, but then get annoyed when they don’t come back the second he is ready. My mom only likes plain bland food. She gets flustered easily and gets terms confused. Like she ordered nachos when she meant she wanted more chips/salsa, then was upset when they brought her nachos instead. She doesn’t like onions, so she’ll tell the waiter no onions even when onions are not an ingredient in the dish she ordered.
I work in a restaurant so my parents finally learned what not to do but some never learn. I had a table the other day where you could tell the girl was mortified by her grandparents behavior but she was also young enough that I doubt she had enough money to pay the tab for all 3. I’ve just gotten so I won’t go out to eat with certain people because it’s so embarrassing how people lose their minds in restaurants. I’m a server, not a servant. There is a HUGE difference people do not seem to understand.
This is why I do take out when I’m with my parents… and I pick it up.
My phone isn't letting me share YouTube links right now, but have you seen Drew Talbots Bistro Huddy skits on YouTube?
They sound like a clumsy comedy act. Perhaps part of it’s cultural? I suggest because my folks aren’t far behind at 70 and 66 and represent a huge reason I treat service staff- no matter where we’re talking about, kindly. No fuss, no “speaking to the manager” shit. Well, there was one time at the Chev dealer where my dad humiliated their burnout service manager, but that guy deserved it.
My parents are in their early 60s and are already falling for obvious scams. My mom almost got an “uber driver” off the street in NYC that wanted to charge three times as much as it should have cost. They also can’t seem to figure out how apps work. Idk it’s weird because even five years ago they seemed pretty competent in navigating the world. They’re catty now too. So, yes.
My mom used to just blatantly ignore whatever the server/hostess/busser was saying to her. In one ear, out the other. I remember going out to eat with her and my pops one time, my siblings along with as well. It was dinner time, at a busy shopping center off a major highway, and ofc no one made a reservation. Hostess asks my mom if it's ok if she seats us at two four-tops near each other but not together. Mom verbally gives her the go ahead, but I could tell she wasn't truly listening. Sure enough, Mom then proceeds to blow up our waitress for our family not being sat together. Ranting and raving, etc. It was embarassing af. It's like boomers don't even view hospitality staff/wait staff as human and worthy of even the basic courtesies.
Yep. I went with my parents to a nice Italian restaurant last week and my mom was looking around and saying "where is the bread? don't we get any bread?". I told her I don't think this was that kind of place. I thought that would shut her up but alas, out server came out and my mom asked her for bread. To which the server replied we would have to order it. My mom was fine with that but it was still cringey for her to ask. Like they are just hiding the bread away in the back? I hate going to eat with them. They are at least polite tho.
I used to. Once my Mom came into my work to see me and my co-worker asked if she was my Mom, and I said no with my Mom standing right there. My Mom is dead now, and I’ll never forget being so embarrassed of her that I did that. Probably made her feel so small. She walked away and left my work immediately after and we never spoke of it. I’d take all the embarrassing moments back if it meant I could have her here again. She used to count her granny change at the grocery store (where I was working at the time of this story), and she’d hold up the line. I used to hate that, but I wish she was still here to do it. She would’ve been 70 this year.
Ugh this hit home! My mom's been gone two years and I would live the worse embarrassing moments over and over again just to have her back and be able to go to dinner with her.
I’m sorry for your loss.
That's why I tell millenials/zoomers on here not to be too harsh on their parents even if they're not perfect. I get downvoted to oblivion of course, but the truth is that you do not want to risk having massive regrets after they pass away.
I definitely have a ton of regrets. I was an asshole. She deserved better. I apologized to her when she was actively dying, she told me it was water under the bridge and not to worry about it, but guilt will always linger. She was never toxic, she was just herself, and I punished her for it because my friends had parents who were young and acted so cool, and I… didn’t. I had an old Mom with old traditions. Unfortunately with older parents they die sooner, too. Something OP needs to keep in mind with a parent in their 80s. Though I understand the cringe they feel because I’ve been there. One day they’ll go out to a restaurant and wait for a table, and their parent(s) will pop up in their mind seating themselves, and they’ll miss it. We also have to remember how taboo mental health was in their generation. How many of our parents are or were undiagnosed neurodivergent, or had mental health struggles they didn’t get treated because it was frowned upon in society to be different.
Go to the justnoboomer sub. We all have embarrassing older parents.
My step-dad is a full on Karen and he even owned a restaurant at one point and was a fast food GM.
My mom (68) will chew a piece of food then half way through the chew decide she doesn't want to eat it (maybe it's too tough) and then spit the chewed food on to the plate. So you're just looking at this chewed lump of food. Once she's done eating she pulls out floss and starts flossing at the table. Both my parents will ask for food to be extra hot 🤷🏻♀️
Increasingly. Everywhere my dad has ever lived he's had "terrible neighbors". As a child I recall being incredibly embarrassed about how he'd talk to, treat, and demean our neighbors to their faces. There were obviously secondhand effects and we were in turn generally ostracized by the neighborhood kids because their parents all hated my dad. Everywhere we lived, same story. He'll find some inane reason to pick a fight and go all-in. It was (and still is - hearing him brag about how he went off on his current neighbors for xyz inconsequential thing) horribly awkward and unfortunately he's very witty and really good at being an intimidating asshole. He still thinks he's invincible and someday he's going to get knocked on his mid-60s ass by someone...
Have your parents always been this way? My parents are in their 70s and they have never acted like that in a restaurant. My grandparents who liked to dine out until their death in their 80s never behaved that way, either. I don’t think you can blame it on age or generation.
Yeah, my grandparents are boomers and are not rude to restaurant staff. The worst they will say is that music is to loud and honestly the are usually right about music volumn.
Stop going with them. If they ask, tell them why.
My aren't but I know a pair and they are.... something else. They constantly yell in restaurants when any conversation occurs. They bring up wildly inappropriate subjects I'm public. They never say please and thank you. Drives me fucking nuts to a point I prefer hosting.
What is up with that generation and eating out ? My in laws at 70 and 75 and they’re the same way. And going out to even something as simple as a fast food place, they’re unaware of the line, unaware of how to order properly, just generally unaware of how any of it works and not open to learning either
My parents are 69 and 71 and act similarly obtuse. My older aunts and uncles are even worse. As soon as the server says “hi, how are we doing tonight?” They will immediately respond with “I’ll have X” with no pleasantries. They’ll also ask for refills during peak busy time and right before leaving (after the check is closed). They both make super specific modifications to every order and will complain if it is wrong. It is all so rude, which baffles me because my parents were SO STRICT with us about manners growing up, but they can’t manage to be polite out in public??? I always end up slipping the waitress and extra 10 or 20 (on top of the tip) and apologizing because I feel so bad. We’ve had conversations about this many times, and it just goes right over their heads 🙄 when I was a server 10-12 years ago, my rudest and stingiest customers were the 60-80 demographic - ordering a $1 soda, hogging a table for HOURS, and tipping like $0.50. But high schoolers were always so patient and polite, and they would tip $5-$10 on a $6 sandwich. 🤷🏼♀️
Are they like this everywhere or just at restaurants? Maybe they’re just shit people.
Nah, your parents are just entitled dicks. Making lame jokes? Eh, okay, not terrible, it's fun, but seating yourself, sitting at a dirty table, AND asking random people for stuff? That's straight trash behavior.
My boomer dad is incredibly embarrassing in a restaurant. He constantly tries to joke and pull little pranks on the waitress and doesn’t realize when nobody is laughing. Then at the end he asks if they have a veterans discount and if they don’t he shames them.
My mother is more like a short fucking fuse. She’ll be “nice” or whatever. But if there’s one mistake or if she waits longer than she thinks is necessary, she’s blowing up. My father on the other hand is a nightmare. He’s culinarily trained and so he’ll hound these poor workers about the quality of the ingredients. I’ll never forget when I was around 10 and there was a less than satisfactory tomato on his sandwich and he’s yelling at this poor kid at subway (subway of all places!), shaking the “questionable” tomato in his face “would YOU eat this?? Here! You eat it.” It was awful. My grandmother, his mom, is the worst though. She will snap at waiters and shout across the restaurant. It’s so awful. My maternal grandfather, now passed, would be so passive aggressive to servers. He’d complain about them moving too slowly (as he sucks down his lemonade in 0.5 seconds), then get mad at me and others if we tipped at all. Going out with family is always a nightmare, so we don’t anymore. I’ll just cook instead of dealing with their behavior lol.
No, my parents understand how restaurants work lol They have their physical issues nowadays, hearing and sight, but they help eachother and we help them and we all muddle thru together. I love eating out with them. They're good people and treat other people well.
Oh my gosh, you’re just describing my life of my parents. What’s worse is that they love going out to eat, and I cannot tolerate it with them. It’s so so painful. They both worked the service industry so they think they know what’s allowed and can be rude because they remember what it was like? One time my dad fist bumped the server and told him he was doing a good job and then said, “ You’re a funny looking fella, but you do a good job .” 💀 then my mom always needs to explain things to the server, who obviously doesn’t care. She can’t just be clear and ask for an extra side of dressing, she has to explain how sometimes you need more salad dressing blah blah blah. It is truly horrifying.