It's not a good sign for you not to trust your nanny to be alone with your child I side or outside the home. If you can't trust the nanny to do basic things, then this isn't a good fit for either or you.
How old is this nanny? I'm only wondering because you mentioned it, if her age is such a big factor, why not go with someone younger? (I'm not against the age, I'm only asking because it was brought up in the post like it mattered)
The nanny is in her 60s. I did not think twice about it when we hired her because she is very sweet but I mention it because she’s fallen twice in our home and in many of her stories she tells she talks about falling a lot and it being something that happens with age.
This is strange to me because most 60 year olds I know do not fall regularly. 60 isn’t that old!! I’ve only seen that happen with family members who are 80+.
100% this.
Side note: I’m this group as a mom who was looking for a nanny and wanted more info. But I work in a healthcare field where I see this all the time. My field is heavily saturated with a poorer population.
>many Nannies are poverty stricken.
That is true. I have to stop reading this post because just thinking about a woman in her 60s being a nanny to a young child which can be a physically hard job and sometimes falling and maybe losing her job over it just depresses me. The nanny probably doesn't even have health insurance. She might have a medical condition and can't do anything about it.
Yeah, it’s super depressing. I hope the nanny has someone in her life that can help her apply for disability benefits and support while she goes through the long arduous process.
It can be a sign of various illnesses, mostly cognitive, if a person has falls. I wouldn’t feel safe with her as a nanny for that reason alone, and doubly for continuing to ask about walks daily after I said no.
If she falls a lot, do you think it's a good idea to even let her to hold your baby? This is starting to sound like a big safety issue and you might need a new nanny. My friend won't let her mother hold her baby anymore because of this same issue, and you are employing someone who could be a safety Rick to your child.
She’s fallen twice in your home, fell outside hard enough to damage your stroller and hurt herself enough to need two days off?
I don’t know what stroller you have but it would take an a whole lot to damage mine the way you’re describing.
Tell her that you’re worried about her. That falling 3 times is something that she needs to talk to her doctor about asap. You might even say that you need to see a note from the doctor before she’ll be able to go on walks alone again.
This is a tough situation but you really have to put your baby’s safety first. You don’t seem to be overreacting here to me.
This! OP, have her get a Drs approval to go on walks with LO in the stroller. So that she can be evaluated and make sure she's going to be safe. If she doesn't have health insurance, you might have to foot the bill or help her sign up for gov't health insurance, but she'll only qualify if she makes under a certain amount of money each month. You can look online to see the cut offs for your state. That's if you plan on keeping her on as a nanny. You can let her take short 10-15 min walks, until she builds up the strength to go for longer walks. Or start by going to the end of the street and back or around the block, until you feel comfortable again. Maybe she tripped on something or stepped in a crack or the sidewalk was uneven? How did she fall inside of your home? Did she lose her balance from her legs or knees or was it from tripping over something or she miscalculated trying to step over something? Idk there's a lot to consider. Or encourage her to take LO outside and play in the yard for now. The weather is nicer and outside time is very good for everyone, including your child. Maybe let her take LO for walks once she has a certain amount of days without falling. But just let her know that you're concerned about her well-being. Or have her work part time and get another nanny for the rest of the week. You have to also consider what works for your family as well and do whatever is best. Sometimes some people aren't the right fit and that's perfectly ok.
Yikes!! Certainly, some people are more clumsy and prone to falling than others... But I wonder if she has some sort of underlying health issue that causes her to be more unstable? Or if she truly is just clumsy and prone to falling?
Regardless of the cause-- health issues, or clumsiness-- I would not trust a person who openly admits to *routinely* falling down to care for my baby or toddler.
It's not just a silly, quirky personality trait. This is straight up dangerous and a massive danger & liability.
Honestly there are a lot of people I don’t allow to walk around with my babies. Older family is one of them and specifically for this reason.
Because your son is so young I don’t feel like this is a good fit for a nanny. Your son is getting close to mobility age and at what point is it going to be possible that she trips over him and falls because she’s falling a lot. I’d also be concerned about her possibly breaking something when falling in your home (especially if she has had children but women tend to have more brittle bones than men of the same age because child bearing sucks the life out of our bodies to build theirs.) is it a possibility that he runs at her and knocks her over because she’s unbalanced and unstable, or falls down the stairs while holding him if you have stairs, or even just falls while holding your son. I think it’s completely valid to say this isn’t a good fit for either of you and part ways.
I get that times are hard and that’s probably why she has to work and I feel sympathy for that but it shouldn’t be at the expense of the safety of your infant-toddler-child.
My dad is only 70 and falls quite a bit. And he doesn't have any health issues besides his body getting older and slowing down. My mom is the same age and never falls. I really think it depends on the person.
I am not far from being 60 and I don't have issues with falling. I'm very active and physically fit, and that's on purpose so I don't start having issues as I age.
there are stories from nannies who don't have any history/issues with falling who have fallen holding baby, sometimes which has resulted in serious damage, like a broken bone. I would think if that's really something you want to risk.
Exactly. A few months back, a parent on the other sub posted about their younger nanny falling on ice while holding one of the NK babies and broke the baby's femur, except the nanny didn't tell the parents right away. She was doing a nanny share and had 2 baby NKs. I think around 6-8mo. But she was fired by the family that she kept the fall from. CPS got involved and everything. I think the other family kept her on. I can't remember all the details, but your comment reminded me of that story.
But there are a lot of stories of the baby cutting their lip from falling or getting cuts and bruises, but the nannies were kept on bcuz accidents do happen, especially when littlies are on the move. Hopefully the nanny in OP will be willing to get checked out to make sure there's no injuries or something she pulled that's causing frequent falls.
Is it a problem with her shoes? Does she need better shoes?
I don't understand why she's falling all the time otherwise. Does she suffer from vertigo?
I think it's either figure out why she's so unsteady and fix that or she shouldn't be watching a baby. She can fall holding the baby just walking to the kitchen and that's a problem.
My parents are in their 70s and they don’t fall. My grandmother started having more frequent age related falls in her 90s. All the 60 year olds I know are still just fit healthy mobile adults and can do most things fine and normally and are steady on their feet. Your nanny needs to see a doctor it sounds like. Maybe it’s something that could be fixed and then you wouldn’t need to worry.
If she falls a lot it doesn’t sound like she’s suitable for the job, but maybe you can suggest she see a doctor to figure it out for her sake and your son’s sake. Or just let her go. I don’t think you can either keep her in the house indefinitely or let her go walking around with your child unless the falling issue is addressed.
I get you. I know It’s different when it’s a grandparent, but even then I’d struggle to let my kid go solo on walks if I worried my mom or dad was a walking head injury waiting to happen. I would be concerned about the nature of her falls and what measures she takes to ensure she doesn’t hit her head (incapacitating her or clouding her judgement from injury) and kid doesn’t get hurt. If she falls and literally breaks a hip that’s awful, but she can still call you or 911 - if she’s alone with your nonverbal, not walking kid while near a road and she falls I fear what could happen to her or kiddo. A sidewalk is not that wide, and there are lots of cracks and trip hazards along it where I live. I wouldn’t worry about her taking the kid to a park where other people are because no cars and people are around to witness any fall. I would worry if her dr isn’t aware of her falls and she hadn’t gotten assed for any fall that another person couldn’t confirm she’d not hit her head.
My nanny is in her 60s and better shape than me. She may have something like neuropathy, or it may be medication she’s taking… falling at 60 is not the norm and I don’t think it’s a good fit for this nanny to be with a baby who depends on her. What if she falls while holding baby?
That’s a huge liability for you and then and safety risk for your baby. You need to let her go, ideally with severance so she doesn’t try to claim you discriminated because of her age (age is a protected class in the US).
my sweet old grandfather fell a lot through his 60s and 70s, but he was an extreme alcoholic… maybe she has some sort of health condition, but I agree with others that this isn’t totally normal for someone in their 60s. esp if they’re working in such a demanding field like childcare? I would be worried about an injury in the home…
We had a neighbor trip and fall on the sidewalk near our house walking with her baby (in a baby Bjorn) and she was only 33! Bloody lip and all.
I know nannies in their 50s and 60s that are in amazing shape and can run circles around you-I know nannies in their 20s that have fallen down the stairs with a baby or have very little energy.
Unless there is a medical condition here-a basic walk in the stroller should happen 2x per day.
Yeah I think OP should ask for more details about what happened. When I was in my 20s I’d go for walks regularly after work for exercise. One night I nearly hit the ground because part of the sidewalk was lifted up and I didn’t notice it. So the circumstances of the fall matter. Slipping on a stick or pinecone under your foot is different than I felt dizzy and fell. I don’t feel like OP has asked enough about the details of what happened.
I did ask questions. My husband asked what happened when it first happened and she said “we fell” but baby was fine. I wasn’t home and wasn’t happy with the lack of questions so followed up more once she returned. Apparently she had gotten the stroller over a bump and not herself and fell. (Not sure of the accuracy) she claimed she fell on the cement and baby tipped into the grass. But there are marks on the stroller as if the handles hit the ground and baby went backwards. She also made a comment that she had a hard time getting back up. When I said no more walks because of the falling the comment she made was “it’s not like that would happen every time” which concerned me because it felt like it was very brushed off. I also am a FTM and know accidents happen so I have been trying to piece together if this is a great fall risk issue (which from the comments it sounds like it is) or if I was being an over protective parent.
you are for some reason convincing yourself that you need to consider this stranger’s irrelevant feelings over the safety and care of your infant
please think about that
I see where your concern is coming from. I do work from home so she is never left alone (outside of the walk scenario) but your comment hit hard. I am concerned for her well being and the financial impact it could be on her and maybe I shouldn’t be
No, you should be. I think it's valid for you to not let her on walks but you shouldn't fire her since you're around all day, unless she chooses to quit since she won't be allowed on walks
My mother in law is on her 80s and has fallen once. Healthy women in their sixties do not fall “because of age”.
She may have other health issues that are causing her to be unsteady.
Bottom line: Your child’s safety must come first. Period. His activities should not be limited.
Oof. That's not good that's she's fallen twice in your house and once outside.
It's absolutely *not* something that happens to healthy people in their 60s as a normal part of aging, and it usually leads to people losing their independence because of all the health/ safety risks involved with someone this age falling.
What happens if she falls and breaks a hip or gets a brain bleed after falling in your home? Who's liable? I'm not a lawyer, but I can see litigious family coming after you and your homeowners insurance as her employer.
I definitely don’t want to advocate for you firing anyone but I do think you should either trust your nanny to go on walks with your children or you should probably have a different nanny. I don’t know what their schedule is, but in my opinion, it’s pretty unreasonable for the nanny and child to stay in the house all day. So I think, to put it bluntly, your options are to either get over it and let them walk and/or go on excursions or find someone new.
I second this and want to add that taking steps to earn trust back as a third option. Can you go on a walk with her to see how she does? Can you keep an air tag in the stroller to ease anxiety?
One fall is an accident, and accidents happen. Multiple falls is a concern. Just be careful with how you approach her if you decide to terminate because she could receive it as you terminating her employment based on her age or physical ability and that could become an issue.
terminating employment based on physical abilities is fair when the physical abilities directly impact the work you do/endanger the child you're caring for! being a fall risk wouldn't be as big of a deal with a 9 year old, but with a baby, it's very concerning.
I completely agree with you, I was just pointing out that the wording needs to be vague so nanny can't try claim discrimination. This could potentially be a tricky situation.
Most families do not employ enough people for anyone to come after them for discrimination in the first place. You have to have 15 employees to be held to discrimination laws
its as if no one has the ability to compute what the OP admitted - that her employee was injured on the job
***yes, there may be a more serious situation; the nanny may have some neurological issues. And yes, luckily the child was not hurt.
But, what the eff? Where is the humanity?
Can you provide your resource for this being state specific? I’ve been trying to research it since that’s the first I’ve ever heard of any state not using the 15 employee rule so I’d love to educate myself further.
I agree with others, it’s hard because it sounds like she’s a wonderful nanny but if she is this prone to having falls it’s not safe to have her as an employee in your home. Even the stroller incident you mention here was enough to put her out of work for 2 days, and that sounds like more of a minor fall so I can’t imagine what a bigger fall would cause. Your son isn’t walking yet and has a huge potential to get hurt if he’s being held by her and she falls.
It also kind of sounds like she’s in denial of the safety/liability aspect of it due to how much she keeps asking to continue the walks. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to come to terms with the fact that your body isn’t the same agile body it once was, but she’s putting herself and your child in danger. At the very least she should understand why you would be reluctant to hold off on walks for awhile
I completely agree but have no idea how to have the conversation with about walks when she continues to ask. I feel so guilty but would never forgive myself if she has a bad fall. Or worse falls in the street and can’t get up.
Yeah that’s a really tough conversation to have and it’s good that you’re aware of that! I’m sure someone on here could come up with a really great way to phrase it so that it doesn’t hurt her more than it has to. This situation is hard because it involves more than just the safety of your child, it’s also her having to come to terms with her new limitations as she grows older. All you can do is come from a place of compassion and grace - some conversations are both inherently difficult and inherently necessary. But by having it, you are sparing your son and your nanny from every worst case scenario
The NPs didn’t even offer me much of an explanation, just something like “people really pick up speed on our street and within the last 10 years someone was struck and killed by a car. There’s only sidewalk on one side of the street so we’d just prefer you guys played at the house and in the front or backyard” - NK would’ve been in a stroller and I could’ve pushed the issue, but why? The NPs already made it VERY clear it wasn’t something they weren’t comfortable with so either I needed to look for something else or adapt, which I did without a problem because I’m a professional.
If you are now considering this woman’s (who may be a babysitter but she’s by no means a nanny) feelings and her financial state, has wiggled her way much farther into your family system then I think you’ve realized and I hope you stay aware of that because these people really are strangers.
I would not want a woman who admittedly says she is unsteady on her feet and falls routinely at her job around my developing, vulnerable infant.
You think it’ll be better when he’s a toddler and starting to move? Think she’ll be right behind him ready to grab every and anything he might be about to put in his mouth or bump his head on?
I'm 66 years old. I have cerebral palsy since birth, and osteoarthritis since age 8. I don't fall. I strongly suggest asking your nanny about her symptoms prior to these falls. Is she dizzy? Short of breath? Having acute knee pain?
Healthy people in their 60s – even those with pre-existing disabilities – aren't falling simply due to aging. Something else is going on with your nanny.
I do know she has had a few surgeries. I worry she has downplayed what she has has done because it sounds like her health is much worse that I realized. She does often have to leave for doctor appointments too
I’m almost 35 and I’m just clumsy and trip over my feet. Thankfully that has never been an issue with my career the last 11 years but one time I was getting baby up from a nap upstairs and walking back down with her to give her a snack and my socks slipped on their wooden stairs. My natural instinct was to protect baby and managed to break the fall on my backside and butt and she was fine. I had a blue/black butt and back for weeks lol.
if nanny is a fall risk, that's a concern, especially when outside the house. what if nanny seriously injures herself and is unable to get up? what if she crashes over the stroller and your baby goes with her?
I've been a fall risk in the past and it was not safe for me to go on walks. it was a risk going down stairs (does your nanny ever go down stairs carrying your kid?). this doesn't seem sustainable.
If she’s in 60’s and falling that often I would be worried there’s a medical issue. Who’s to say she won’t fall in the house whilst holding your son.
For me it’s a safety issue where I would not feel comfortable with this lady looking after a baby, no matter how sweet and lovely she is. Your baby is only 6 months old there’s a long time till he can independently walk and a lot of carrying him by someone who falls a lot. What if she crushes him?
I think the issue needs to be made even more black and white than this.
Either she's physically capable of safely walking with the stroller outside or she's not a physically capable nanny. I'm thinking of all the physical aspects of the job and when kiddo is on the stroller it is literally the safest and easiest physical activity of them all.
How can she hold him up to wash his hands? How can she put him in or out if the crib? How can she change his diaper? How is she holding him? What about bringing him up the stairs?
I think the most "ethical?" Fair solution would be to request a physical. Express your concerns over the fall and you noticed she's not too stable on walks in general. Tell her your request comes from a place of concern for her, you don't want her to push herself and get injured and want the reassurance from a doctor.
I don't want to harp on this too much, but your nanny being a fall risk and being noticeably unsteady on walks is a serious danger to your child, inside and outside the home.
it really sucks if she is a great nanny otherwise, but her being prone to falls does not mix well with a tiny baby. there is significant risk if you continue to allow her to care for your child alone, even if she stays inside. it's less a matter of if she falls and your baby gets seriously injured, but more of when.
What I do know: she injured herself while in the course of her work day. YOU are responsible for any & all medical care associated.
Edit to add: yes, injuries that happen while in the capacity of employment or “on the job,” due to the “duties of the job,” during the “work day,” are considered an injury sustained while working. This is a legitimate workplace accident/injury & the OP is responsible for medical care in part or in full.
Re: the fall. You don’t know why. It may not be age related & it could be something else. *young people also fall. Its common in homes where “shoes aren’t allowed,” for caregivers (nannies & parents alike) to fall down stairs- sometimes while holding children. It also not uncommon for someone to fall on a poorly maintained sidewalk.
Ultimately, how you choose to proceed in relation to her employment is up to you. But whatever you do, make sure its all within the law of your state & federal employment laws; and ensure any work related injury is properly adjudicated.
I would be worried about getting sued if she injured herself in your home. This is a really physical job. Much older children might be a better option for her.
This is a safety issue. It’s also unfair to everyone (baby, you, and nanny) to keep everyone locked up in the house.
I know it’s awful to fire someone but you need to consider the outcomes here. I just read that she has fallen multiple times. That is not normal. What if she falls down the stairs holding your kid? What if she falls and injures herself in your home? Do you have workman’s comp? Are you paying her as a household employee and hold insurance for household employees? Do you trust that she could get her and your child out of an unsafe situation where she would need to make quick decisions?
If you can't trust your nanny to take your child on a walk, how could you possibly trust her to carry your child around the house, lift them in and out of a crib, in and out of a high chair, etc?
You absolutely have very legitimate reasons to be concerned and to not want her taking your child on walks... But you also need to be asking yourself if she's fit to care for your child AT ALL?
I personally would feel uncomfortable with employing a nanny that has had multiple falls. Especially with a 6 month old. There was a post made by a parent whose baby had a broken femur because the nanny fell while holding the baby. There was an entire cps and law enforcement investigation. Do you really want to risk your infants safety just because she’s sweet? You can’t expect a nanny and child to stay in the house all day. But it is unsafe for her to continue to take him on walks. You need to find a new nanny. Your child will continue to become more and more mobile. It doesn’t sound like she can keep up with a small child and she should focus more on finding a job with older children. A minor fall caused damage to your stroller and put her out of work for 2 days. If you continue to employ her then you are just playing around with your sons safety and hers. What if she falls and goes unconscious? She’s already not respecting your boundaries and not recognizing the severity of the situation. You don’t trust her. Find a new nanny.
I think that if she has a history of falling, having her care for your baby is a liability. If she is injured in your home that could be a legal issue for you. Or she could potentially injure your baby even if it’s unintentional. I’d probably start looking for other care.
In the nanny’s defense, working in a house without really leaving much is torture. I couldn’t imagine not being able to go for walks during the days where we’re not going out and doing anything.
I think it’s best to let her go, but if you want to have her stay you should let them walk.
I'm not sure what state you're in, but you may end up with workers' compensation liability in a state like California. Defense attorney chiming in here, and I've seen cases where the employee is paid cash for hourly work in the house and later files a lawsuit. Document everything and CYA.
I feel like a lot of people are jumping to wild conclusions in this thread. I think yes cool it on the walks for a bit and in this time you could hopefully get some more information on the fall. If (big if) there is a health problem you can go from there.
One time I tripped on a walk with my NK but NK wasn’t hurt. Mistakes happen. But also if you feel like you can’t trust her maybe start your search of looking for a new nanny. If this is a big problem it will just get worse. It sounds like she isn’t 110% good for your family. To have a good bond you need to trust your nanny 110% and it seems like trust has been broken.
It’s reasonable to not want her to go on walks with your baby. She’s a fall risk and you need to know your baby is safe. I wonder if she feels a little cooped up? If you work from home, can she take a walk or run an errand for you while your baby sleeps?
What’s going to happen when your son is walking and mobile in a few months? Do you trust her physical ability enough to catch him if he’s running into the street, or off a ledge, or climbing something? We had same situation with a nanny that had arthritis and at a certain point she could barely lift our baby. It was time to move on. :(
If you don't trust her stability on the walk you definitely should look for another nanny. If she's not suited to care for 6mo then it will only get worse. And you don't want your kid to get attached if you need to change nanny. The sooner the better.
Also it seems to me like she's not honest with you on what happened and puts herself before safety of your kid. I wouldn't feel safe leaving my baby with someone with stability issues. Babies are very frsgile
This post (and comments) has me constantly replaying the video in my head of the \~60yo great aunt caring for a baby who's stroller starts rolling towards a street while she's turned away. She falls immediately and can't get back up when trying to grab for it. Luckily bystanders were around and helped (both to stop the stroller and to assist the woman).
This all reads as a prequel to the video tbh
Do you offer your nanny health insurance? If so, encourage her to seek medical help with the falling. Seek the approval from a physician. If not, it may be something to explore or let her go, unfortunately.
OMG! Did you just suggest that the homeowner is at fault for the nanny falling on a walk? Are you suggesting that the homeowner isn't providing a safe work environment? I asked if they provided health insurance bc if this lady is just randomly falling she may have a bigger issue than a "workman's comp complaint".
No not at all. I nannied over the summer for a 1.5m and NPs working from home. There were sidewalks only on side of the street and so we would have to cross the street at one point or another if we were out walking. Because a jogger dressed in dark clothing, listening to headphones, and jogging late at night was hit by a car a street over from theirs in the last 10 years, I was NOT permitted to take NK on a walk of any kind which, believe me, would have been extremely welcomed on some long tedious days.
Oh and that’s not mentioning that I’m almost 40 years old, have a Master’s Degree in Applied Developmental Psychology, and I consider myself pretty in-shape as I’m a part-time yoga instructor.
I never made an issue of it with NPs as their fear was as real as if the individual had been struck and killed by the car just the day before, and as their employee, I respected that completely.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW YOU ARE TRUSTING THIS WOMAN WITH YOUR INFANT CHILD WHEN SHE IS OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.
Falling is one thing, falling to the degree where there is damage to the stroller - bye!
Older, more self-sufficient children may be a better match for her. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do not convince yourself that you must somehow placate this woman by jeopardizing your baby’s safety!
This sucks but I would go with a different nanny, bub is not going to be small forever and they only get so much harder to hold as the months go on. I think eventually you’d have to let her go anyways to find someone that can keep up.
Tell her how you feel (you are worry for the baby and her, etc) say what had happened and what could happen when the baby gets heavier, more active or maybe try to run away etc then tell her you are responsible for making a good choice for baby and nanny and you are going to prevent bad scenarios for both...
From another point of view of this situation, you may be projecting a feeling of guilt on to nanny. Meaning something happened in your childhood related with this scenario coming from mom or other mother figure
Was it an accidental fall like an unexpected cut out in the sidewalk? Or a fall caused by instability? It really makes a difference. Everyone can fall if the sidewalk has a break but if she just fell because she’s old it’s a whole different situation
OP says in their post that nanny has fallen 3 times total at work, twice inside, and has spoken about falling many more times. OP accompanied her on walk and she was very unstable.
As sweet as she is, your son’s safety comes first. If she doesn’t want to stop taking walks you might need to look for a new nanny. But as a mother (and career nanny) I would not let her take walks alone any longer with my baby
This fall may have been a one time event. I had some spectacular falls in my twenties. I am a lot more careful now that I am older. I would assess her and also ask her more about the fall. Was she dizzy? Did she pass out? Did she trip? If you are comfortable, have her take short trips out of the house, very short, very close.
OP says in their post that nanny has fallen 3 times total at work, twice inside, and has spoken about falling many more times. OP accompanied her on walk and she was very unstable.
I need knee replacements and I never did fall at work or when walking with kids. I'm upfront about my knees when start the job too. I even walk dogs and haven't fallen. But I am slow. I'm upfront from beginning. Maybe time to be really upfront with her about what doctors has she seen. Accidents happen but sounds like she's in denial or not being upfront with her. You could say you like her just worry about her and child safety now. What doctors has she seen? Does she have bad knees, hips, is it neurological?
sounds like you don’t trust her, and that’s an issue. things happen, as long as she continues to communicate with you, you should be able to trust her with your child. i’ve fallen down the stairs while holding my nanny baby, while it was extremely scary, the baby was not hurt during the process, i just had a huge bruise for a couple of weeks. my boss still trusts me to walk down the stairs while holding her children because she knows that accidents happen. i totally understand you not being comfortable, but how long do you expect to feel this way? in the long run, you’ll end up needing a new nanny.
Definitely depends on the circumstances around the fall. I think it’s understandable for you to be rattled by the fact that an accident happened when you weren’t there and I think if you’re saying that’s why you need some time before walks start back up that’s understandable. But if you don’t think she is fit to do walks without falling again then it’s not going to work out as sad as that is. The fact is that accidents happen and even the most fit caregiver could trip the wrong way and knock a stroller they’re pushing over. It’s completely valid to take some time to work through the anxiety surrounding that if you need to. But no one wants to be a nanny confined to the home indefinitely and no child wants that either. So let your gut tell you if this was a freak accident or if this woman isn’t in shape to care for you child and go from there. It’s a tough situation and there are no bad guys. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit.
If you can’t trust her to walk I don’t think I could trust her with a child that young. I’m a younger nanny 31f I’ve fallen once or twice with a child but that was on narrow steps and icy steps. It was not bc of my ability to walk but rather the environment I was in. I feel like sometimes families are worried bc I look young but I honestly feel it helps bc I can easily keep up with kids. What happens when he starts getting more active
I think this is a valid concern, whether she were to drop the baby, fall while holding baby, or even just fall while in your home and sue you. I would find a new nanny maybe she would be better suited to school age kids.
I think you’re raising legitimate safety concerns about your baby and that needs to be your North Star. At the same time, you employee an elderly and fall-prone employee from whom you risk an age and disability discrimination suit if not handled correctly.
To be clear, she could try to claim discrimination simply from your refusal to let her take your baby outside (doesn’t mean she’d win, but she can allege it.) Her argument would be that a 24 year old woman who fell you’d treat as an accident but a 60 year old you treat as a risk.
I’d encourage you to reach out to an employment lawyer for advice to make sure that whatever resolution you reach is one that comports with the law.
she's fallen 3 times while working that they know of, and many times outside of work. OP says that in the post, along with mentioning that they accompanied her on a walk and she was noticeably unsteady.
It's not a good sign for you not to trust your nanny to be alone with your child I side or outside the home. If you can't trust the nanny to do basic things, then this isn't a good fit for either or you. How old is this nanny? I'm only wondering because you mentioned it, if her age is such a big factor, why not go with someone younger? (I'm not against the age, I'm only asking because it was brought up in the post like it mattered)
The nanny is in her 60s. I did not think twice about it when we hired her because she is very sweet but I mention it because she’s fallen twice in our home and in many of her stories she tells she talks about falling a lot and it being something that happens with age.
This is strange to me because most 60 year olds I know do not fall regularly. 60 isn’t that old!! I’ve only seen that happen with family members who are 80+.
Exactly this. My mom is mid 60s and carries my hoss of an 18 month old without falling.
Hoss 😂😂😭
Different people age different. Poverty definitely ages you quickly and let’s face it, many Nannies are poverty stricken.
100% this. Side note: I’m this group as a mom who was looking for a nanny and wanted more info. But I work in a healthcare field where I see this all the time. My field is heavily saturated with a poorer population.
>many Nannies are poverty stricken. That is true. I have to stop reading this post because just thinking about a woman in her 60s being a nanny to a young child which can be a physically hard job and sometimes falling and maybe losing her job over it just depresses me. The nanny probably doesn't even have health insurance. She might have a medical condition and can't do anything about it.
Yeah, it’s super depressing. I hope the nanny has someone in her life that can help her apply for disability benefits and support while she goes through the long arduous process.
It can be a sign of various illnesses, mostly cognitive, if a person has falls. I wouldn’t feel safe with her as a nanny for that reason alone, and doubly for continuing to ask about walks daily after I said no.
If she falls a lot, do you think it's a good idea to even let her to hold your baby? This is starting to sound like a big safety issue and you might need a new nanny. My friend won't let her mother hold her baby anymore because of this same issue, and you are employing someone who could be a safety Rick to your child.
Also isn’t it a liability?
Yes, in the States, OP can be held liable if she injures herself on the job and/or on their property. NAL
Yes, very much so!
She’s fallen twice in your home, fell outside hard enough to damage your stroller and hurt herself enough to need two days off? I don’t know what stroller you have but it would take an a whole lot to damage mine the way you’re describing. Tell her that you’re worried about her. That falling 3 times is something that she needs to talk to her doctor about asap. You might even say that you need to see a note from the doctor before she’ll be able to go on walks alone again. This is a tough situation but you really have to put your baby’s safety first. You don’t seem to be overreacting here to me.
This! OP, have her get a Drs approval to go on walks with LO in the stroller. So that she can be evaluated and make sure she's going to be safe. If she doesn't have health insurance, you might have to foot the bill or help her sign up for gov't health insurance, but she'll only qualify if she makes under a certain amount of money each month. You can look online to see the cut offs for your state. That's if you plan on keeping her on as a nanny. You can let her take short 10-15 min walks, until she builds up the strength to go for longer walks. Or start by going to the end of the street and back or around the block, until you feel comfortable again. Maybe she tripped on something or stepped in a crack or the sidewalk was uneven? How did she fall inside of your home? Did she lose her balance from her legs or knees or was it from tripping over something or she miscalculated trying to step over something? Idk there's a lot to consider. Or encourage her to take LO outside and play in the yard for now. The weather is nicer and outside time is very good for everyone, including your child. Maybe let her take LO for walks once she has a certain amount of days without falling. But just let her know that you're concerned about her well-being. Or have her work part time and get another nanny for the rest of the week. You have to also consider what works for your family as well and do whatever is best. Sometimes some people aren't the right fit and that's perfectly ok.
Yikes!! Certainly, some people are more clumsy and prone to falling than others... But I wonder if she has some sort of underlying health issue that causes her to be more unstable? Or if she truly is just clumsy and prone to falling? Regardless of the cause-- health issues, or clumsiness-- I would not trust a person who openly admits to *routinely* falling down to care for my baby or toddler. It's not just a silly, quirky personality trait. This is straight up dangerous and a massive danger & liability.
This is a no. Accidents happen but having someone that frequently falls and struggles to get up caring for young child is dangerous and irrational.
Honestly there are a lot of people I don’t allow to walk around with my babies. Older family is one of them and specifically for this reason. Because your son is so young I don’t feel like this is a good fit for a nanny. Your son is getting close to mobility age and at what point is it going to be possible that she trips over him and falls because she’s falling a lot. I’d also be concerned about her possibly breaking something when falling in your home (especially if she has had children but women tend to have more brittle bones than men of the same age because child bearing sucks the life out of our bodies to build theirs.) is it a possibility that he runs at her and knocks her over because she’s unbalanced and unstable, or falls down the stairs while holding him if you have stairs, or even just falls while holding your son. I think it’s completely valid to say this isn’t a good fit for either of you and part ways. I get that times are hard and that’s probably why she has to work and I feel sympathy for that but it shouldn’t be at the expense of the safety of your infant-toddler-child.
My dad did not start having falls until he was in his 80s and had Parkinson’s. I think your nanny is not being honest with you about her health.
Either this or she doesn't know herself. Many people put off going to the Dr or have limited access to healthcare.
My dad is only 70 and falls quite a bit. And he doesn't have any health issues besides his body getting older and slowing down. My mom is the same age and never falls. I really think it depends on the person.
That’s very possible. My dad was playing tennis still in his 70s. Shows how important it is to stay physically active as long as possible.
Yes! Completely agree!
I am not far from being 60 and I don't have issues with falling. I'm very active and physically fit, and that's on purpose so I don't start having issues as I age.
there are stories from nannies who don't have any history/issues with falling who have fallen holding baby, sometimes which has resulted in serious damage, like a broken bone. I would think if that's really something you want to risk.
Exactly. A few months back, a parent on the other sub posted about their younger nanny falling on ice while holding one of the NK babies and broke the baby's femur, except the nanny didn't tell the parents right away. She was doing a nanny share and had 2 baby NKs. I think around 6-8mo. But she was fired by the family that she kept the fall from. CPS got involved and everything. I think the other family kept her on. I can't remember all the details, but your comment reminded me of that story. But there are a lot of stories of the baby cutting their lip from falling or getting cuts and bruises, but the nannies were kept on bcuz accidents do happen, especially when littlies are on the move. Hopefully the nanny in OP will be willing to get checked out to make sure there's no injuries or something she pulled that's causing frequent falls.
Is it a problem with her shoes? Does she need better shoes? I don't understand why she's falling all the time otherwise. Does she suffer from vertigo? I think it's either figure out why she's so unsteady and fix that or she shouldn't be watching a baby. She can fall holding the baby just walking to the kitchen and that's a problem.
My parents are in their 70s and they don’t fall. My grandmother started having more frequent age related falls in her 90s. All the 60 year olds I know are still just fit healthy mobile adults and can do most things fine and normally and are steady on their feet. Your nanny needs to see a doctor it sounds like. Maybe it’s something that could be fixed and then you wouldn’t need to worry. If she falls a lot it doesn’t sound like she’s suitable for the job, but maybe you can suggest she see a doctor to figure it out for her sake and your son’s sake. Or just let her go. I don’t think you can either keep her in the house indefinitely or let her go walking around with your child unless the falling issue is addressed.
I get you. I know It’s different when it’s a grandparent, but even then I’d struggle to let my kid go solo on walks if I worried my mom or dad was a walking head injury waiting to happen. I would be concerned about the nature of her falls and what measures she takes to ensure she doesn’t hit her head (incapacitating her or clouding her judgement from injury) and kid doesn’t get hurt. If she falls and literally breaks a hip that’s awful, but she can still call you or 911 - if she’s alone with your nonverbal, not walking kid while near a road and she falls I fear what could happen to her or kiddo. A sidewalk is not that wide, and there are lots of cracks and trip hazards along it where I live. I wouldn’t worry about her taking the kid to a park where other people are because no cars and people are around to witness any fall. I would worry if her dr isn’t aware of her falls and she hadn’t gotten assed for any fall that another person couldn’t confirm she’d not hit her head.
My nanny is in her 60s and better shape than me. She may have something like neuropathy, or it may be medication she’s taking… falling at 60 is not the norm and I don’t think it’s a good fit for this nanny to be with a baby who depends on her. What if she falls while holding baby?
That’s a huge liability for you and then and safety risk for your baby. You need to let her go, ideally with severance so she doesn’t try to claim you discriminated because of her age (age is a protected class in the US).
my sweet old grandfather fell a lot through his 60s and 70s, but he was an extreme alcoholic… maybe she has some sort of health condition, but I agree with others that this isn’t totally normal for someone in their 60s. esp if they’re working in such a demanding field like childcare? I would be worried about an injury in the home…
We had a neighbor trip and fall on the sidewalk near our house walking with her baby (in a baby Bjorn) and she was only 33! Bloody lip and all. I know nannies in their 50s and 60s that are in amazing shape and can run circles around you-I know nannies in their 20s that have fallen down the stairs with a baby or have very little energy. Unless there is a medical condition here-a basic walk in the stroller should happen 2x per day.
Yeah I think OP should ask for more details about what happened. When I was in my 20s I’d go for walks regularly after work for exercise. One night I nearly hit the ground because part of the sidewalk was lifted up and I didn’t notice it. So the circumstances of the fall matter. Slipping on a stick or pinecone under your foot is different than I felt dizzy and fell. I don’t feel like OP has asked enough about the details of what happened.
I did ask questions. My husband asked what happened when it first happened and she said “we fell” but baby was fine. I wasn’t home and wasn’t happy with the lack of questions so followed up more once she returned. Apparently she had gotten the stroller over a bump and not herself and fell. (Not sure of the accuracy) she claimed she fell on the cement and baby tipped into the grass. But there are marks on the stroller as if the handles hit the ground and baby went backwards. She also made a comment that she had a hard time getting back up. When I said no more walks because of the falling the comment she made was “it’s not like that would happen every time” which concerned me because it felt like it was very brushed off. I also am a FTM and know accidents happen so I have been trying to piece together if this is a great fall risk issue (which from the comments it sounds like it is) or if I was being an over protective parent.
60 isn't old and she should be steady on her feet-if she falls all the time-she should be assessed by a physician.
you are for some reason convincing yourself that you need to consider this stranger’s irrelevant feelings over the safety and care of your infant please think about that
I see where your concern is coming from. I do work from home so she is never left alone (outside of the walk scenario) but your comment hit hard. I am concerned for her well being and the financial impact it could be on her and maybe I shouldn’t be
No, you should be. I think it's valid for you to not let her on walks but you shouldn't fire her since you're around all day, unless she chooses to quit since she won't be allowed on walks
you can be concerned about her, but prioritize your baby's safety. it is not safe for her to take care of your child.
My mother in law is on her 80s and has fallen once. Healthy women in their sixties do not fall “because of age”. She may have other health issues that are causing her to be unsteady. Bottom line: Your child’s safety must come first. Period. His activities should not be limited.
Oof. That's not good that's she's fallen twice in your house and once outside. It's absolutely *not* something that happens to healthy people in their 60s as a normal part of aging, and it usually leads to people losing their independence because of all the health/ safety risks involved with someone this age falling. What happens if she falls and breaks a hip or gets a brain bleed after falling in your home? Who's liable? I'm not a lawyer, but I can see litigious family coming after you and your homeowners insurance as her employer.
I definitely don’t want to advocate for you firing anyone but I do think you should either trust your nanny to go on walks with your children or you should probably have a different nanny. I don’t know what their schedule is, but in my opinion, it’s pretty unreasonable for the nanny and child to stay in the house all day. So I think, to put it bluntly, your options are to either get over it and let them walk and/or go on excursions or find someone new.
I second this and want to add that taking steps to earn trust back as a third option. Can you go on a walk with her to see how she does? Can you keep an air tag in the stroller to ease anxiety?
She mentioned in a comment or edit, that she did go with her on a walk and it did not ease her fears at all.
One fall is an accident, and accidents happen. Multiple falls is a concern. Just be careful with how you approach her if you decide to terminate because she could receive it as you terminating her employment based on her age or physical ability and that could become an issue.
terminating employment based on physical abilities is fair when the physical abilities directly impact the work you do/endanger the child you're caring for! being a fall risk wouldn't be as big of a deal with a 9 year old, but with a baby, it's very concerning.
I completely agree with you, I was just pointing out that the wording needs to be vague so nanny can't try claim discrimination. This could potentially be a tricky situation.
Most families do not employ enough people for anyone to come after them for discrimination in the first place. You have to have 15 employees to be held to discrimination laws
while true in many states, not all; furthermore, this is also a workman’s comp situation. Which seems to have been lost on everyone 🤷🏼♀️
I can’t believe it took getting to your comment (a bit of a scroll) for workman’s comp to be brought up.
its as if no one has the ability to compute what the OP admitted - that her employee was injured on the job ***yes, there may be a more serious situation; the nanny may have some neurological issues. And yes, luckily the child was not hurt. But, what the eff? Where is the humanity?
Can you provide your resource for this being state specific? I’ve been trying to research it since that’s the first I’ve ever heard of any state not using the 15 employee rule so I’d love to educate myself further.
Sure, I will do the labor for you: https://www.domesticworkers.org/programs-and-campaigns/developing-policy-solutions/domestic-workers-bill-of-rights/
oh, gotcha!!
it can also be illegal
I agree with others, it’s hard because it sounds like she’s a wonderful nanny but if she is this prone to having falls it’s not safe to have her as an employee in your home. Even the stroller incident you mention here was enough to put her out of work for 2 days, and that sounds like more of a minor fall so I can’t imagine what a bigger fall would cause. Your son isn’t walking yet and has a huge potential to get hurt if he’s being held by her and she falls. It also kind of sounds like she’s in denial of the safety/liability aspect of it due to how much she keeps asking to continue the walks. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to come to terms with the fact that your body isn’t the same agile body it once was, but she’s putting herself and your child in danger. At the very least she should understand why you would be reluctant to hold off on walks for awhile
I completely agree but have no idea how to have the conversation with about walks when she continues to ask. I feel so guilty but would never forgive myself if she has a bad fall. Or worse falls in the street and can’t get up.
Yeah that’s a really tough conversation to have and it’s good that you’re aware of that! I’m sure someone on here could come up with a really great way to phrase it so that it doesn’t hurt her more than it has to. This situation is hard because it involves more than just the safety of your child, it’s also her having to come to terms with her new limitations as she grows older. All you can do is come from a place of compassion and grace - some conversations are both inherently difficult and inherently necessary. But by having it, you are sparing your son and your nanny from every worst case scenario
The NPs didn’t even offer me much of an explanation, just something like “people really pick up speed on our street and within the last 10 years someone was struck and killed by a car. There’s only sidewalk on one side of the street so we’d just prefer you guys played at the house and in the front or backyard” - NK would’ve been in a stroller and I could’ve pushed the issue, but why? The NPs already made it VERY clear it wasn’t something they weren’t comfortable with so either I needed to look for something else or adapt, which I did without a problem because I’m a professional. If you are now considering this woman’s (who may be a babysitter but she’s by no means a nanny) feelings and her financial state, has wiggled her way much farther into your family system then I think you’ve realized and I hope you stay aware of that because these people really are strangers. I would not want a woman who admittedly says she is unsteady on her feet and falls routinely at her job around my developing, vulnerable infant. You think it’ll be better when he’s a toddler and starting to move? Think she’ll be right behind him ready to grab every and anything he might be about to put in his mouth or bump his head on?
What happens when your son is mobile? I'm not sure she's a good fit unfortunately. She would probably do better with older children.
My anxious thoughts as well. It just sounds like a huge safety concern that isn’t going to get any better the bigger and more mobile he gets.
I'm 66 years old. I have cerebral palsy since birth, and osteoarthritis since age 8. I don't fall. I strongly suggest asking your nanny about her symptoms prior to these falls. Is she dizzy? Short of breath? Having acute knee pain? Healthy people in their 60s – even those with pre-existing disabilities – aren't falling simply due to aging. Something else is going on with your nanny.
I do know she has had a few surgeries. I worry she has downplayed what she has has done because it sounds like her health is much worse that I realized. She does often have to leave for doctor appointments too
I’m almost 35 and I’m just clumsy and trip over my feet. Thankfully that has never been an issue with my career the last 11 years but one time I was getting baby up from a nap upstairs and walking back down with her to give her a snack and my socks slipped on their wooden stairs. My natural instinct was to protect baby and managed to break the fall on my backside and butt and she was fine. I had a blue/black butt and back for weeks lol.
This!
if nanny is a fall risk, that's a concern, especially when outside the house. what if nanny seriously injures herself and is unable to get up? what if she crashes over the stroller and your baby goes with her? I've been a fall risk in the past and it was not safe for me to go on walks. it was a risk going down stairs (does your nanny ever go down stairs carrying your kid?). this doesn't seem sustainable.
I’ll be 100% honest. You need to let her go. If she’s already fallen multiple times then it’s an issue.
If she’s in 60’s and falling that often I would be worried there’s a medical issue. Who’s to say she won’t fall in the house whilst holding your son. For me it’s a safety issue where I would not feel comfortable with this lady looking after a baby, no matter how sweet and lovely she is. Your baby is only 6 months old there’s a long time till he can independently walk and a lot of carrying him by someone who falls a lot. What if she crushes him?
I think the issue needs to be made even more black and white than this. Either she's physically capable of safely walking with the stroller outside or she's not a physically capable nanny. I'm thinking of all the physical aspects of the job and when kiddo is on the stroller it is literally the safest and easiest physical activity of them all. How can she hold him up to wash his hands? How can she put him in or out if the crib? How can she change his diaper? How is she holding him? What about bringing him up the stairs? I think the most "ethical?" Fair solution would be to request a physical. Express your concerns over the fall and you noticed she's not too stable on walks in general. Tell her your request comes from a place of concern for her, you don't want her to push herself and get injured and want the reassurance from a doctor.
I don't want to harp on this too much, but your nanny being a fall risk and being noticeably unsteady on walks is a serious danger to your child, inside and outside the home. it really sucks if she is a great nanny otherwise, but her being prone to falls does not mix well with a tiny baby. there is significant risk if you continue to allow her to care for your child alone, even if she stays inside. it's less a matter of if she falls and your baby gets seriously injured, but more of when.
What I do know: she injured herself while in the course of her work day. YOU are responsible for any & all medical care associated. Edit to add: yes, injuries that happen while in the capacity of employment or “on the job,” due to the “duties of the job,” during the “work day,” are considered an injury sustained while working. This is a legitimate workplace accident/injury & the OP is responsible for medical care in part or in full. Re: the fall. You don’t know why. It may not be age related & it could be something else. *young people also fall. Its common in homes where “shoes aren’t allowed,” for caregivers (nannies & parents alike) to fall down stairs- sometimes while holding children. It also not uncommon for someone to fall on a poorly maintained sidewalk. Ultimately, how you choose to proceed in relation to her employment is up to you. But whatever you do, make sure its all within the law of your state & federal employment laws; and ensure any work related injury is properly adjudicated.
Your kiddo is only going to get more active. It may not be safe for her to continue to work. It may be time to try and find a replacement.
I would be worried about getting sued if she injured herself in your home. This is a really physical job. Much older children might be a better option for her.
This is a safety issue. It’s also unfair to everyone (baby, you, and nanny) to keep everyone locked up in the house. I know it’s awful to fire someone but you need to consider the outcomes here. I just read that she has fallen multiple times. That is not normal. What if she falls down the stairs holding your kid? What if she falls and injures herself in your home? Do you have workman’s comp? Are you paying her as a household employee and hold insurance for household employees? Do you trust that she could get her and your child out of an unsafe situation where she would need to make quick decisions?
If you can't trust your nanny to take your child on a walk, how could you possibly trust her to carry your child around the house, lift them in and out of a crib, in and out of a high chair, etc? You absolutely have very legitimate reasons to be concerned and to not want her taking your child on walks... But you also need to be asking yourself if she's fit to care for your child AT ALL?
I personally would feel uncomfortable with employing a nanny that has had multiple falls. Especially with a 6 month old. There was a post made by a parent whose baby had a broken femur because the nanny fell while holding the baby. There was an entire cps and law enforcement investigation. Do you really want to risk your infants safety just because she’s sweet? You can’t expect a nanny and child to stay in the house all day. But it is unsafe for her to continue to take him on walks. You need to find a new nanny. Your child will continue to become more and more mobile. It doesn’t sound like she can keep up with a small child and she should focus more on finding a job with older children. A minor fall caused damage to your stroller and put her out of work for 2 days. If you continue to employ her then you are just playing around with your sons safety and hers. What if she falls and goes unconscious? She’s already not respecting your boundaries and not recognizing the severity of the situation. You don’t trust her. Find a new nanny.
I think that if she has a history of falling, having her care for your baby is a liability. If she is injured in your home that could be a legal issue for you. Or she could potentially injure your baby even if it’s unintentional. I’d probably start looking for other care. In the nanny’s defense, working in a house without really leaving much is torture. I couldn’t imagine not being able to go for walks during the days where we’re not going out and doing anything. I think it’s best to let her go, but if you want to have her stay you should let them walk.
I'm not sure what state you're in, but you may end up with workers' compensation liability in a state like California. Defense attorney chiming in here, and I've seen cases where the employee is paid cash for hourly work in the house and later files a lawsuit. Document everything and CYA.
I think holding off on walks is a good idea. Can they get out in the backyard?
Yes backyard is open and available!
Yeah, if you're okay with this I would have them there for a while.
I feel like a lot of people are jumping to wild conclusions in this thread. I think yes cool it on the walks for a bit and in this time you could hopefully get some more information on the fall. If (big if) there is a health problem you can go from there.
One time I tripped on a walk with my NK but NK wasn’t hurt. Mistakes happen. But also if you feel like you can’t trust her maybe start your search of looking for a new nanny. If this is a big problem it will just get worse. It sounds like she isn’t 110% good for your family. To have a good bond you need to trust your nanny 110% and it seems like trust has been broken.
It’s reasonable to not want her to go on walks with your baby. She’s a fall risk and you need to know your baby is safe. I wonder if she feels a little cooped up? If you work from home, can she take a walk or run an errand for you while your baby sleeps?
What’s going to happen when your son is walking and mobile in a few months? Do you trust her physical ability enough to catch him if he’s running into the street, or off a ledge, or climbing something? We had same situation with a nanny that had arthritis and at a certain point she could barely lift our baby. It was time to move on. :(
If you don't trust her stability on the walk you definitely should look for another nanny. If she's not suited to care for 6mo then it will only get worse. And you don't want your kid to get attached if you need to change nanny. The sooner the better. Also it seems to me like she's not honest with you on what happened and puts herself before safety of your kid. I wouldn't feel safe leaving my baby with someone with stability issues. Babies are very frsgile
Balance and coordination is a basic requirement of the job. I’d reconsider your current situation and seek a new nanny.
This post (and comments) has me constantly replaying the video in my head of the \~60yo great aunt caring for a baby who's stroller starts rolling towards a street while she's turned away. She falls immediately and can't get back up when trying to grab for it. Luckily bystanders were around and helped (both to stop the stroller and to assist the woman). This all reads as a prequel to the video tbh
Do you offer your nanny health insurance? If so, encourage her to seek medical help with the falling. Seek the approval from a physician. If not, it may be something to explore or let her go, unfortunately.
omg, did you just suggest that the employer tell the nanny to use their own health insurance, when this is - in fact - a workman’s comp issue?
OMG! Did you just suggest that the homeowner is at fault for the nanny falling on a walk? Are you suggesting that the homeowner isn't providing a safe work environment? I asked if they provided health insurance bc if this lady is just randomly falling she may have a bigger issue than a "workman's comp complaint".
No not at all. I nannied over the summer for a 1.5m and NPs working from home. There were sidewalks only on side of the street and so we would have to cross the street at one point or another if we were out walking. Because a jogger dressed in dark clothing, listening to headphones, and jogging late at night was hit by a car a street over from theirs in the last 10 years, I was NOT permitted to take NK on a walk of any kind which, believe me, would have been extremely welcomed on some long tedious days. Oh and that’s not mentioning that I’m almost 40 years old, have a Master’s Degree in Applied Developmental Psychology, and I consider myself pretty in-shape as I’m a part-time yoga instructor. I never made an issue of it with NPs as their fear was as real as if the individual had been struck and killed by the car just the day before, and as their employee, I respected that completely. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW YOU ARE TRUSTING THIS WOMAN WITH YOUR INFANT CHILD WHEN SHE IS OUT OF YOUR SIGHT. Falling is one thing, falling to the degree where there is damage to the stroller - bye! Older, more self-sufficient children may be a better match for her. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do not convince yourself that you must somehow placate this woman by jeopardizing your baby’s safety!
I really appreciate this comment! ❤️
This sucks but I would go with a different nanny, bub is not going to be small forever and they only get so much harder to hold as the months go on. I think eventually you’d have to let her go anyways to find someone that can keep up.
Tell her how you feel (you are worry for the baby and her, etc) say what had happened and what could happen when the baby gets heavier, more active or maybe try to run away etc then tell her you are responsible for making a good choice for baby and nanny and you are going to prevent bad scenarios for both... From another point of view of this situation, you may be projecting a feeling of guilt on to nanny. Meaning something happened in your childhood related with this scenario coming from mom or other mother figure
Was it an accidental fall like an unexpected cut out in the sidewalk? Or a fall caused by instability? It really makes a difference. Everyone can fall if the sidewalk has a break but if she just fell because she’s old it’s a whole different situation
OP says in their post that nanny has fallen 3 times total at work, twice inside, and has spoken about falling many more times. OP accompanied her on walk and she was very unstable.
As sweet as she is, your son’s safety comes first. If she doesn’t want to stop taking walks you might need to look for a new nanny. But as a mother (and career nanny) I would not let her take walks alone any longer with my baby
This fall may have been a one time event. I had some spectacular falls in my twenties. I am a lot more careful now that I am older. I would assess her and also ask her more about the fall. Was she dizzy? Did she pass out? Did she trip? If you are comfortable, have her take short trips out of the house, very short, very close.
OP says in their post that nanny has fallen 3 times total at work, twice inside, and has spoken about falling many more times. OP accompanied her on walk and she was very unstable.
I need knee replacements and I never did fall at work or when walking with kids. I'm upfront about my knees when start the job too. I even walk dogs and haven't fallen. But I am slow. I'm upfront from beginning. Maybe time to be really upfront with her about what doctors has she seen. Accidents happen but sounds like she's in denial or not being upfront with her. You could say you like her just worry about her and child safety now. What doctors has she seen? Does she have bad knees, hips, is it neurological?
sounds like you don’t trust her, and that’s an issue. things happen, as long as she continues to communicate with you, you should be able to trust her with your child. i’ve fallen down the stairs while holding my nanny baby, while it was extremely scary, the baby was not hurt during the process, i just had a huge bruise for a couple of weeks. my boss still trusts me to walk down the stairs while holding her children because she knows that accidents happen. i totally understand you not being comfortable, but how long do you expect to feel this way? in the long run, you’ll end up needing a new nanny.
Definitely depends on the circumstances around the fall. I think it’s understandable for you to be rattled by the fact that an accident happened when you weren’t there and I think if you’re saying that’s why you need some time before walks start back up that’s understandable. But if you don’t think she is fit to do walks without falling again then it’s not going to work out as sad as that is. The fact is that accidents happen and even the most fit caregiver could trip the wrong way and knock a stroller they’re pushing over. It’s completely valid to take some time to work through the anxiety surrounding that if you need to. But no one wants to be a nanny confined to the home indefinitely and no child wants that either. So let your gut tell you if this was a freak accident or if this woman isn’t in shape to care for you child and go from there. It’s a tough situation and there are no bad guys. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit.
If she is unsteady maybe it is time for a new nanny
If she can fall outside of the home… she can also fall inside the home…
If you can’t trust her to walk I don’t think I could trust her with a child that young. I’m a younger nanny 31f I’ve fallen once or twice with a child but that was on narrow steps and icy steps. It was not bc of my ability to walk but rather the environment I was in. I feel like sometimes families are worried bc I look young but I honestly feel it helps bc I can easily keep up with kids. What happens when he starts getting more active
I think this is a valid concern, whether she were to drop the baby, fall while holding baby, or even just fall while in your home and sue you. I would find a new nanny maybe she would be better suited to school age kids.
I think you’re raising legitimate safety concerns about your baby and that needs to be your North Star. At the same time, you employee an elderly and fall-prone employee from whom you risk an age and disability discrimination suit if not handled correctly. To be clear, she could try to claim discrimination simply from your refusal to let her take your baby outside (doesn’t mean she’d win, but she can allege it.) Her argument would be that a 24 year old woman who fell you’d treat as an accident but a 60 year old you treat as a risk. I’d encourage you to reach out to an employment lawyer for advice to make sure that whatever resolution you reach is one that comports with the law.
What is your worst moment with your child? I would mirror her actions against that and act accordingly.
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she's fallen 3 times while working that they know of, and many times outside of work. OP says that in the post, along with mentioning that they accompanied her on a walk and she was noticeably unsteady.
Just want to make sure - you're not Chicago based are you?
could she have alcohol or drug issues?