Hi u/,
We appreciate you being a part of this community.
Your post has been approved, but please remember to put a trigger warning on top of the post (not in the title). Trigger warnings should be included for content that, if read unexpectedly, would likely cause a flare in symptoms or a trauma response in other struggling or traumatized people. It is the kind thing to do to help spare others that struggle when possible. You can find more information as well as a list of triggers [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/comments/149z65k/trigger_warning_guidelines/). Thank you!
Depending on the form of social media, some let you know! I was on LinkedIn looking at my profile viewers to see if any recruiters were checking my page out, and I found my Nex from 15 years ago (super traumatizing, long term high school relationship) was peeping on my LinkedIn 2 months ago. I deleted my Facebook last year and have him blocked elsewhere, so I figured he got desperate.
And not long before that, I realized that Spotify allows you to follow people back and forth, and I was one of just SIX people he had been following!! Did I mention we broke up almost 15 years ago now?? lol
Checked his Spotify again a month or so later when I remembered he followed me there, and suddenly he was following 300+ people. So I assume it was to bury my profile in his follow list.
We were together back when it was still just MySpace, and he was OBSESSED with my profile, my pictures, my top 8. He made me delete my OG account (back then, OG MySpace accounts were a big deal lol). Old habits die hard I guess. When I left my ex husband a few years ago, he was the first one in my inbox when I updated my relationship status..: Fucking creep
Wow 15 years ago.. that's so creepy. I still wait for the day my ex is letting it be. I still get emails from him every year. But 15 years, that's just unbelievable. These people have no life. I bet he stalks all the other girls he's been dating in these 15 years too.
I can see when he views my insta and fb stories which is all i ever post so thats how i know. Its amusing to me bcz he did the discard multiple times yet wants to know what im up too
Ah ok yeah. I can see who checks my stories too. I just thought maybe there was a way to see if someone checks you profile.
My ex still writes an email to me on my birthday every year. It's gross.
Ha yes my birthday is in june, this will be the first one without him being around in 2 years i do wonder if he will even acknowledge it at all. Probably not but oh well no loss for sure
No i didnt have w need, my discard happend a while ago and while the beginning was rough my attitude and emotion changed alot so when he would reach out i just wouldnt respond. Now its quite funny to me to watch him try to spy.
Mine absolutely stalks my social media. I now even post strategically placed public posts designed just for her. Cool part is that she has her once open socials completely locked down now. Which is 100 percent okay by me. I donāt need to know what sheās got going on. I learned that real quick. As for drive byes? She probably does as we live close to each other. I donāt care if she is. I got nothing to hide. In fact, I hope that she realizes that Iām completely done with her lying, cheating, fake ass! She can pull her game elsewhere because Iām done with her covert narcissist BS.
My nex does this š last time we broke up he suddenly started posting stories for the first time since I'd known him - my friends even noticed and messaged me about it! It was all to pretend how well he was doing without me, but after we got back together just over a month later, he admitted to me that he'd been feeling lonely and sad, and had even been ill with an infection. Didn't post any of that on socials!!
I broke up with him myself 2 months ago. We're still cohabiting so he knows he can't get away with any social media games this time. I went and had a look at his Instagram the other day and I noticed that he had started posting regularly on there shortly after he'd broken up with his ex before me. And prior to their breakup, he hadn't posted for 3 whole years!!
Their need for attention and how obvious it is is all just a bit embarrassing really, isn't it. They think they're sooo subtle and smart.
I wouln't know if my nex was spying or stalking, I've deleated all social media profiles, I only use Reddit and You Tube now, so I don't think there is much to follow.
Mine just did a huge hoovering move that I noticed today. I know we shouldnāt look at their social media and all but my grandma passed last week and he was brought up a couple times by my family (I broke up with him for the final time 8 months ago).
He changed his profile picture to one I took where he is very clearly wearing his promise ring. On top of that he just posted a video of him in my cityā¦ he moved to a different continent. He was visiting family in Texas not too long ago but why would he be in my city???? I think he looked for an old video and posted it just to trigger me in case I was looking.
Narcs always assume someone they did wrong are watching. In this case I had caved in and did and now Iām an anxious mess.
I never thought my narc ex did any of that until I recently fell for a hoover after a year of NC on my part. I got her to admit that she's been stalking all of my social media as well as several of my friends/family in order to keep tabs on me ever since the discard (reverse discard).
She also admitted that she feels like I am a part of her and she can never let me go (creep), begone
I know my Nex has flying monkeys on my social media. People who wanted to add me out of the blue which made no sense. So I added them and let them sit there in silence. Hopefully they forgot I am there.
I changed my phone number and maybe 8 people have it. None are in touch with Nex. He called me on my new number the other day and Iām freaking out. I have NO idea how he got it. I even paid a background check service to see if my new number is associated with me online and it came up with nothing. Thereās some stalking happening.
Thatās actually good to know thanks for sharing. Iām sorry u experienced this!!!!
I thought about changing my number a couple times, and I never thought about them getting the new number as well
I don't think so. Hes on my Twitter but he stopped posting/liking 6 months ago.
Snap you can't stalk.
And we only shared FB messenger. I can see active status if I looked but I don't notice anything.
I posted my first story the other day and it was public and an "other" watched it but it could have been anyone
There was no lurking I was aware of from when I blocked him in July until recently. Then February 29 I saw him drive by my place. April 7 viewed my story from an alias account, and did so again yesterday, May 2. So 5 weeks between, then 4ā¦ letās see if he looks again in 3 šš
He will check up on me in my bedroom, doesn't knock, I've mentioned to him about knocking but he doesn't care, then he gets mad when I block my door so he can't come in whenever, he'll try to tell me that he doesn't bother me but it's a lie, so many times he's crept up on me and startled me because I didn't see him, then gets mad at my reaction.
You might want to pursue a protective order.
BTW, I think all narcs have the stalking instinct. My malignant narcissist would stalk EVERYONE, including people he was not sexually interested in. He would trespass on his neighbor's property and look INSIDE the house just to see what they were doing. He would memorize every aspect of their daily routine and keep track of it. So creepy. He does the same thing to both of his ex wives, especially the first one. He does it under the guise of "just trying to be friendly".
Mine paid to monitor my social media, hacked both my phone and computer, had monitoring software installed on our router, put a hidden camera in the garage where I made private calls, and put a tracker in my vehicle.
The weirdest part is that HE cheated on me for years and I was faithful for our entire relationship. As a matter of fact I was housebound with chronic health issues for 5 years, I have no clue what he thought I was up to. Of course he blamed me for his cheating and shitty behavior. I somehow ended up being the villain, his smear campaigns have almost destroyed my life. Super fun!
They love to keep tabs on you. Itās why kne still lingers. Iām actively pushing her out of my life right now. We broke up 3 months ago. I know she stalked her ex on Facebook. She told me so. She also stalked my ex wife and family. Itās weird. But Iām curious to see how she responds to me just peacing out on her. Cause I donāt have Facebook and I know she will be wondering what Iām doing with my life. As time passes I assume she will Keep trying to check up in me. These are obsessive creatures. We are just toys to them. That why they shelve us for later. But Iām done with her. She sucks and offers me nothing. Iām sure she will try to check up on me in some way. She knows Iām distancing myself. She does not like it. She tried to get me to watch her cat while she works at a summer camp. I said no. First time Iāve ever said no to her. Her response was one word. Ok. lol. So sheās mad at me for saying no to her. But I donāt care anymore. Sheās always mad about something. Iām gonna take pleasure in walking away and finally having control of the situation.
Mine takes offense to me walking in front of her. Or vaping too much cause Iām giving my vape more attention than her. Itās wild shit. I donāt understand her mind at all. She wants a real long term relationship with someone. Definitely know that for a fact she wants one. But how??? I donāt see it happening. She just splits. Becomes different personalities at time. She told me twice her name wasnāt her real name lol. Weird. She gets mad about everything. Like using too many paper towels.
Ok first off, paper towels are life. There is no limit to paper towel usage.
Any other personality disorder or hell letās go even more looseā¦character traits, and those left in the traits āwakeā would leave us hard pressed to find ANY other that NPD that leaves the victims KNOWING what they know. Nothing but this will leave such a cookie cutter product impression that all the cookies show signs of the exact same fucking methods. Itās impossible.
For example. My nex never ONCE said the words āhackinā, ācodingā, NSA, or even remotely eluded to the idea that she or anyone in her circle knew how to accomplish exactly these things with no school or interest in the subjects.
Thatās absolutely not a likely scenario. Mine told me first hand that she knew my whereabouts, she knew my personal email passwords, she had access to checking accounts LONG after she was out of my life. ššš
The minute I started doing my own P.I. work to find answers I only found one thing, she was already there, spying on me, with methods I did NOT have access to. Thatās impossible. So there are at this point millions of VERY DANGEROUS narcissists all at the same time, getting the itch to learn computer systems that would impress me if they were presented by a government agency. Either they are being recruited, or they are like Reggie Jackson on the end of naked gun 2 1/2. Sleepers. MKULTRA had to go SOMEWHERE, silly but my story is biblical and is outright disrespectful if I try to tell it to anyone. WHO CAN DO SUCH A thing?
Itās called people pleaser syndrome and anxious attachment. I avoid conflict at all costs. I am how I am. Youāre obviously way ahead of and much better than I am at navigating. I hope to be as centered as you one day.
I was just being an ass and quoting something a narcissist would say is all. Iām familiar with people pleasing, but I always viewed it as less pleasing, and more a way of knowing whoever youāre dealing with CAN do better and will SURELY see the error of their ways and will reflect, adjust and overcome together with my patience and confidence in their ability to better themselves. Stupid me, that would never work with a narcissist. I actually have a healthy sense of pride to hold such a strength, I just offered it to the wrong people.
To touch on the ācenteredā commentā¦have you ever seen the fever dream episode of M.A.S.H. Where Hawkeye in in a rowboat with no ores, and no arms?
[yeah thatās me for the last 2 years.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3MBCDcF5tJ0/T3UwgUhfjAI/AAAAAAAAIQM/EQ4wFl2KDd4/s1600/dream04_f.jpg)
Yes, mine lurks on my Reddit profile instead of simply blocking the account and calls it harassment when she finds I post into this group about the abuse she put me through š couldn't make it up. I can't find her account to block her just yet.
Yes, mine stalks my reddit so i blocked her and this is an alt for good measure. Its fucked up. I trust NO mutual friend after the smear campaign; sheās convinced herself I have BPD. I do not. I am actively in therapy and when I told my therapist this she immediately shook her head no, and has called my ex out on narcissistic behaviour.
I get reminded that she sees everything, every time a new acc pops up and messages me out of the blue.
Usually contains content such as the newest thing I posted/talked about, or telling me to neck myself, or telling me to shut up talking about my ex.
So that always tells me that I'm being stalked.
Instead of coming up to me directly and talking to me in a civil manner, they resort to childish antics.
Yesterday in fact some random redditor messaged me out of the blue, asking about something I wrote, which in all honesty, only my ex or my close friends would know.
And my friends can just message me directly on my phone or call me. So it's obviously my ex who had hooked up with an 18 year old as a 25 year old, and had him be a flying monkey.
Funny isn't it?
I thought about deleting all social media altogether and going completely off the grid like the hermit I am.
But that would mean I'm being irresponsible and I have made couple really good online friends over the years, and I'd hate to disappear on them.
My ex did as well. Then I blocked her. Then she started stalking with fake accounts and anonymous story viewers. Then I put my profile to private. After I had moved out I did not tell her my adress so she gladly doesn't know where I live.
When we lived together, he watched me through security cameras and hidden cameras. Iāve been out but Iām pretty sure he has a tracking device on my car. I got a new cell phone but Iāve read that they can pay to have your phone cloned with just the number. Pretty sure he hacks my accounts despite me changing passwords.
Yess he spyād on me for like a year. Random drive byās, somehow knew everything I did (I think he hacked my phone), would show up places, thereās more and Iām just realizing that my brain has literally erased the trauma I went thru š¤ bc all I remember was being really scared for a year bc heās also a cop. Donāt hesitate to get the police involved. Youāre probably a nice person and donāt want to get anyone in trouble but enough is enough. She clearly doesnāt care about your well being so why should you care about the consequences to her actions?
No clue. She showed up randomly as a friend suggestion many months after it all ended and we live hours apart. I deleted the suggestion and havenāt seen anything since.
Yes. Mine would stalk me even during the discard and silent treatment. Hell, she even would like my IG posts but not respond to my messages on WhatsApp at the same time.
It was maddening behavior. I have my story set to be hidden from her, as I got so tired of her not being able to handle real conversations and have mature closure while still stalking me.
I stopped following her and removed her from my IG. My page is public but I donāt care to post anything that personal. Itās just a page for my art mainly.
I have a separate private account for my personal stuff which she doesnāt have access to.
Back when I was first with my Nex she told me before getting together she would drive by my house often hoping to see me, stalk my social media, and even my house on Google earth.
Stupid me that I am I gave her my names to my Reddit and even my Anonymous NSFW reddit. Pretty sure after we broke up she was messaging me pretending not to be her, but I have absolutely no doubt she stalked my accounts afterwards. She messaged my account like 2 months after no contact and I broke it for a night but blocked her once she fell asleep on the phone. Since then I've been slowly moving on and I know shes moved onto someone else from what I've heard but I wonder if she still stalks my reddits. I made this account to avoid her stalking me so she wont see this.
The first time we broke up (he broke up with me out of the blue) he would view every one of my Instagram stories within a minute or two of me posting it.
He started posting stories himself - bearing in mind he'd never posted a story the entire time we'd been together. I remember one was a sunny selfie of himself on a work trip and he'd literally titled it "today's view from the office" or something like that, which he would have absolutely cringed at and made fun of if I or someone else had posted.
A week after we broke up he deleted all trace of me from his social media, like, he selectively removed photos of me at events I'd been present at but kept the other ones up. Literally erasing my existence. That really hurt.
So because he was using social media to torment me, I muted him on FB and unfollowed him on Instagram. But, he didn't unfollow me, and he kept viewing my stories! I started checking his (private) Instagram, I couldn't help it. He started changing his Insta bio to song titles about losing someone. I was like - am I paranoid or is he trying to get me to notice him through his Instagram bio?? Anyway... we got back together, and he admitted that the Insta bio was indeed about me.
Honestly, trust your gut and it will be right!
Also, please try and be strong and remove them from social media. I know it's hard but it will help in the long run. I need to take my own advice!
I actively stalk my narcissist's social media because of the history of infidelity. Wondering if he's cheating again. He hasn't broken up with me but acts like he has. Does that make me a narcissist too? I always wonder what happens when a narc meets a narc. Do the worlds collide?
Tips on knowing if a narcissist is cheating on you? Yea I'm an idiot for staying I know.
No. I realized I didnāt start stalking, until there was no security in the relationship or until he gave me a reason to start stalking. Such as constantly bringing up his ex or something. Thatās when it began
Iāve wondered also although I could care less what my Nex does. The fact that accountability is part of the fabric of my being leads me to believe Iām not a full fledged narcissist at least.
I'm sure mine tries. I've locked down and blocked all his accounts as they out themselves. The only folks I add are people I know irl and don't have any ties to him.
((legit, he liked a public FB post from an account with his first name and his mother's maiden name))
Yep. Mine has always been obsessed with social media. She knew my whole instagram before the relationship. She stalked her exes during the relationship. She would realize when I archive or unarchive a photo from my feed in less than a couple of hours and ask me why I did it. During the breakup she asked me to promise I won't block or delete and that I'd start posting frequently (I budged and didn't block or delete). She stalks now. Stalks my friends who deleted her from my followers. I feel like she can see and know everything, even though she lives on another continent. I knew these issues of hers before, but I now believe she is batshit crazy.
I know the nex checks my FB and instagram, a friend that visited him told me that he had seen the nex check multiple times
I do find it funny. The nex has had at least three new supllies after I left, and still keeps checking my social media - even if I never post anything. Like, lol?
Hi u/, We appreciate you being a part of this community. Your post has been approved, but please remember to put a trigger warning on top of the post (not in the title). Trigger warnings should be included for content that, if read unexpectedly, would likely cause a flare in symptoms or a trauma response in other struggling or traumatized people. It is the kind thing to do to help spare others that struggle when possible. You can find more information as well as a list of triggers [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/comments/149z65k/trigger_warning_guidelines/). Thank you!
oh yes they spy, lurk, whatever you want to call it. Mine checks my social media ALOT which is funny to me bcz i dont watch his at all hahahaha
šÆ
How do you know they check it?
Depending on the form of social media, some let you know! I was on LinkedIn looking at my profile viewers to see if any recruiters were checking my page out, and I found my Nex from 15 years ago (super traumatizing, long term high school relationship) was peeping on my LinkedIn 2 months ago. I deleted my Facebook last year and have him blocked elsewhere, so I figured he got desperate. And not long before that, I realized that Spotify allows you to follow people back and forth, and I was one of just SIX people he had been following!! Did I mention we broke up almost 15 years ago now?? lol Checked his Spotify again a month or so later when I remembered he followed me there, and suddenly he was following 300+ people. So I assume it was to bury my profile in his follow list. We were together back when it was still just MySpace, and he was OBSESSED with my profile, my pictures, my top 8. He made me delete my OG account (back then, OG MySpace accounts were a big deal lol). Old habits die hard I guess. When I left my ex husband a few years ago, he was the first one in my inbox when I updated my relationship status..: Fucking creep
Wow 15 years ago.. that's so creepy. I still wait for the day my ex is letting it be. I still get emails from him every year. But 15 years, that's just unbelievable. These people have no life. I bet he stalks all the other girls he's been dating in these 15 years too.
I can see when he views my insta and fb stories which is all i ever post so thats how i know. Its amusing to me bcz he did the discard multiple times yet wants to know what im up too
Ah ok yeah. I can see who checks my stories too. I just thought maybe there was a way to see if someone checks you profile. My ex still writes an email to me on my birthday every year. It's gross.
Ha yes my birthday is in june, this will be the first one without him being around in 2 years i do wonder if he will even acknowledge it at all. Probably not but oh well no loss for sure
Haha he better won't. He's the last person I want to think of on my birthday.
did you block him?
No i didnt have w need, my discard happend a while ago and while the beginning was rough my attitude and emotion changed alot so when he would reach out i just wouldnt respond. Now its quite funny to me to watch him try to spy.
Same :D Im beyond caring now - it's just curious how they cant seem to let go.
Mine absolutely stalks my social media. I now even post strategically placed public posts designed just for her. Cool part is that she has her once open socials completely locked down now. Which is 100 percent okay by me. I donāt need to know what sheās got going on. I learned that real quick. As for drive byes? She probably does as we live close to each other. I donāt care if she is. I got nothing to hide. In fact, I hope that she realizes that Iām completely done with her lying, cheating, fake ass! She can pull her game elsewhere because Iām done with her covert narcissist BS.
Itās freaking nuts brother. Sorry you got hit with this lunacy too.
My Nex is more active on my social media now than when we were together
My nex does this š last time we broke up he suddenly started posting stories for the first time since I'd known him - my friends even noticed and messaged me about it! It was all to pretend how well he was doing without me, but after we got back together just over a month later, he admitted to me that he'd been feeling lonely and sad, and had even been ill with an infection. Didn't post any of that on socials!! I broke up with him myself 2 months ago. We're still cohabiting so he knows he can't get away with any social media games this time. I went and had a look at his Instagram the other day and I noticed that he had started posting regularly on there shortly after he'd broken up with his ex before me. And prior to their breakup, he hadn't posted for 3 whole years!! Their need for attention and how obvious it is is all just a bit embarrassing really, isn't it. They think they're sooo subtle and smart.
Wow! That's crazy
I wouln't know if my nex was spying or stalking, I've deleated all social media profiles, I only use Reddit and You Tube now, so I don't think there is much to follow.
This is the way
Mine just did a huge hoovering move that I noticed today. I know we shouldnāt look at their social media and all but my grandma passed last week and he was brought up a couple times by my family (I broke up with him for the final time 8 months ago). He changed his profile picture to one I took where he is very clearly wearing his promise ring. On top of that he just posted a video of him in my cityā¦ he moved to a different continent. He was visiting family in Texas not too long ago but why would he be in my city???? I think he looked for an old video and posted it just to trigger me in case I was looking. Narcs always assume someone they did wrong are watching. In this case I had caved in and did and now Iām an anxious mess.
I never thought my narc ex did any of that until I recently fell for a hoover after a year of NC on my part. I got her to admit that she's been stalking all of my social media as well as several of my friends/family in order to keep tabs on me ever since the discard (reverse discard). She also admitted that she feels like I am a part of her and she can never let me go (creep), begone
Itās seriously scary.
I know my Nex has flying monkeys on my social media. People who wanted to add me out of the blue which made no sense. So I added them and let them sit there in silence. Hopefully they forgot I am there.
I changed my phone number and maybe 8 people have it. None are in touch with Nex. He called me on my new number the other day and Iām freaking out. I have NO idea how he got it. I even paid a background check service to see if my new number is associated with me online and it came up with nothing. Thereās some stalking happening.
Scary!
Thatās actually good to know thanks for sharing. Iām sorry u experienced this!!!! I thought about changing my number a couple times, and I never thought about them getting the new number as well
I don't think so. Hes on my Twitter but he stopped posting/liking 6 months ago. Snap you can't stalk. And we only shared FB messenger. I can see active status if I looked but I don't notice anything. I posted my first story the other day and it was public and an "other" watched it but it could have been anyone
Thanks for that. Trying to figure out if itās as common as all the other stuff we see on this sub.
There was no lurking I was aware of from when I blocked him in July until recently. Then February 29 I saw him drive by my place. April 7 viewed my story from an alias account, and did so again yesterday, May 2. So 5 weeks between, then 4ā¦ letās see if he looks again in 3 šš
Wow. They canāt live and let be. Live your best life and if heās sees it, tough noogies. Thanks for responding.
I'm not sure, but yes, they feel like they own you. it's disgusting
And the control issuesā¦
He will check up on me in my bedroom, doesn't knock, I've mentioned to him about knocking but he doesn't care, then he gets mad when I block my door so he can't come in whenever, he'll try to tell me that he doesn't bother me but it's a lie, so many times he's crept up on me and startled me because I didn't see him, then gets mad at my reaction.
Thatās super fucking creepy!!
Nope, my nex couldnāt care less about how I am or what Iām doing
That's what they want you to believe
You might want to pursue a protective order. BTW, I think all narcs have the stalking instinct. My malignant narcissist would stalk EVERYONE, including people he was not sexually interested in. He would trespass on his neighbor's property and look INSIDE the house just to see what they were doing. He would memorize every aspect of their daily routine and keep track of it. So creepy. He does the same thing to both of his ex wives, especially the first one. He does it under the guise of "just trying to be friendly".
Mine paid to monitor my social media, hacked both my phone and computer, had monitoring software installed on our router, put a hidden camera in the garage where I made private calls, and put a tracker in my vehicle. The weirdest part is that HE cheated on me for years and I was faithful for our entire relationship. As a matter of fact I was housebound with chronic health issues for 5 years, I have no clue what he thought I was up to. Of course he blamed me for his cheating and shitty behavior. I somehow ended up being the villain, his smear campaigns have almost destroyed my life. Super fun!
They love to keep tabs on you. Itās why kne still lingers. Iām actively pushing her out of my life right now. We broke up 3 months ago. I know she stalked her ex on Facebook. She told me so. She also stalked my ex wife and family. Itās weird. But Iām curious to see how she responds to me just peacing out on her. Cause I donāt have Facebook and I know she will be wondering what Iām doing with my life. As time passes I assume she will Keep trying to check up in me. These are obsessive creatures. We are just toys to them. That why they shelve us for later. But Iām done with her. She sucks and offers me nothing. Iām sure she will try to check up on me in some way. She knows Iām distancing myself. She does not like it. She tried to get me to watch her cat while she works at a summer camp. I said no. First time Iāve ever said no to her. Her response was one word. Ok. lol. So sheās mad at me for saying no to her. But I donāt care anymore. Sheās always mad about something. Iām gonna take pleasure in walking away and finally having control of the situation.
My Nex is always mad about something and finds a way to take offense to everything. Hopefully youāll get off easy.
Mine takes offense to me walking in front of her. Or vaping too much cause Iām giving my vape more attention than her. Itās wild shit. I donāt understand her mind at all. She wants a real long term relationship with someone. Definitely know that for a fact she wants one. But how??? I donāt see it happening. She just splits. Becomes different personalities at time. She told me twice her name wasnāt her real name lol. Weird. She gets mad about everything. Like using too many paper towels.
Ok first off, paper towels are life. There is no limit to paper towel usage. Any other personality disorder or hell letās go even more looseā¦character traits, and those left in the traits āwakeā would leave us hard pressed to find ANY other that NPD that leaves the victims KNOWING what they know. Nothing but this will leave such a cookie cutter product impression that all the cookies show signs of the exact same fucking methods. Itās impossible. For example. My nex never ONCE said the words āhackinā, ācodingā, NSA, or even remotely eluded to the idea that she or anyone in her circle knew how to accomplish exactly these things with no school or interest in the subjects. Thatās absolutely not a likely scenario. Mine told me first hand that she knew my whereabouts, she knew my personal email passwords, she had access to checking accounts LONG after she was out of my life. ššš The minute I started doing my own P.I. work to find answers I only found one thing, she was already there, spying on me, with methods I did NOT have access to. Thatās impossible. So there are at this point millions of VERY DANGEROUS narcissists all at the same time, getting the itch to learn computer systems that would impress me if they were presented by a government agency. Either they are being recruited, or they are like Reggie Jackson on the end of naked gun 2 1/2. Sleepers. MKULTRA had to go SOMEWHERE, silly but my story is biblical and is outright disrespectful if I try to tell it to anyone. WHO CAN DO SUCH A thing?
You never said no beforeā¦why start now!?! Your new character is VERY off putting and is obviously only ego driven.
Itās called people pleaser syndrome and anxious attachment. I avoid conflict at all costs. I am how I am. Youāre obviously way ahead of and much better than I am at navigating. I hope to be as centered as you one day.
I was just being an ass and quoting something a narcissist would say is all. Iām familiar with people pleasing, but I always viewed it as less pleasing, and more a way of knowing whoever youāre dealing with CAN do better and will SURELY see the error of their ways and will reflect, adjust and overcome together with my patience and confidence in their ability to better themselves. Stupid me, that would never work with a narcissist. I actually have a healthy sense of pride to hold such a strength, I just offered it to the wrong people. To touch on the ācenteredā commentā¦have you ever seen the fever dream episode of M.A.S.H. Where Hawkeye in in a rowboat with no ores, and no arms? [yeah thatās me for the last 2 years.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3MBCDcF5tJ0/T3UwgUhfjAI/AAAAAAAAIQM/EQ4wFl2KDd4/s1600/dream04_f.jpg)
Yes, mine lurks on my Reddit profile instead of simply blocking the account and calls it harassment when she finds I post into this group about the abuse she put me through š couldn't make it up. I can't find her account to block her just yet.
Yes, mine stalks my reddit so i blocked her and this is an alt for good measure. Its fucked up. I trust NO mutual friend after the smear campaign; sheās convinced herself I have BPD. I do not. I am actively in therapy and when I told my therapist this she immediately shook her head no, and has called my ex out on narcissistic behaviour.
I get reminded that she sees everything, every time a new acc pops up and messages me out of the blue. Usually contains content such as the newest thing I posted/talked about, or telling me to neck myself, or telling me to shut up talking about my ex. So that always tells me that I'm being stalked. Instead of coming up to me directly and talking to me in a civil manner, they resort to childish antics. Yesterday in fact some random redditor messaged me out of the blue, asking about something I wrote, which in all honesty, only my ex or my close friends would know. And my friends can just message me directly on my phone or call me. So it's obviously my ex who had hooked up with an 18 year old as a 25 year old, and had him be a flying monkey. Funny isn't it?
Not funny. You ever think of starting a new account ?
I thought about deleting all social media altogether and going completely off the grid like the hermit I am. But that would mean I'm being irresponsible and I have made couple really good online friends over the years, and I'd hate to disappear on them.
They are masters in stalking social media. Iāll never forget when my narc found my unlisted fb through my Spotify accountā¦.
My ex did as well. Then I blocked her. Then she started stalking with fake accounts and anonymous story viewers. Then I put my profile to private. After I had moved out I did not tell her my adress so she gladly doesn't know where I live.
When we lived together, he watched me through security cameras and hidden cameras. Iāve been out but Iām pretty sure he has a tracking device on my car. I got a new cell phone but Iāve read that they can pay to have your phone cloned with just the number. Pretty sure he hacks my accounts despite me changing passwords.
Yess he spyād on me for like a year. Random drive byās, somehow knew everything I did (I think he hacked my phone), would show up places, thereās more and Iām just realizing that my brain has literally erased the trauma I went thru š¤ bc all I remember was being really scared for a year bc heās also a cop. Donāt hesitate to get the police involved. Youāre probably a nice person and donāt want to get anyone in trouble but enough is enough. She clearly doesnāt care about your well being so why should you care about the consequences to her actions?
Thankfully not! At least not to my knowledge.
No clue. She showed up randomly as a friend suggestion many months after it all ended and we live hours apart. I deleted the suggestion and havenāt seen anything since.
Yes. Mine would stalk me even during the discard and silent treatment. Hell, she even would like my IG posts but not respond to my messages on WhatsApp at the same time. It was maddening behavior. I have my story set to be hidden from her, as I got so tired of her not being able to handle real conversations and have mature closure while still stalking me. I stopped following her and removed her from my IG. My page is public but I donāt care to post anything that personal. Itās just a page for my art mainly. I have a separate private account for my personal stuff which she doesnāt have access to.
Back when I was first with my Nex she told me before getting together she would drive by my house often hoping to see me, stalk my social media, and even my house on Google earth. Stupid me that I am I gave her my names to my Reddit and even my Anonymous NSFW reddit. Pretty sure after we broke up she was messaging me pretending not to be her, but I have absolutely no doubt she stalked my accounts afterwards. She messaged my account like 2 months after no contact and I broke it for a night but blocked her once she fell asleep on the phone. Since then I've been slowly moving on and I know shes moved onto someone else from what I've heard but I wonder if she still stalks my reddits. I made this account to avoid her stalking me so she wont see this.
The first time we broke up (he broke up with me out of the blue) he would view every one of my Instagram stories within a minute or two of me posting it. He started posting stories himself - bearing in mind he'd never posted a story the entire time we'd been together. I remember one was a sunny selfie of himself on a work trip and he'd literally titled it "today's view from the office" or something like that, which he would have absolutely cringed at and made fun of if I or someone else had posted. A week after we broke up he deleted all trace of me from his social media, like, he selectively removed photos of me at events I'd been present at but kept the other ones up. Literally erasing my existence. That really hurt. So because he was using social media to torment me, I muted him on FB and unfollowed him on Instagram. But, he didn't unfollow me, and he kept viewing my stories! I started checking his (private) Instagram, I couldn't help it. He started changing his Insta bio to song titles about losing someone. I was like - am I paranoid or is he trying to get me to notice him through his Instagram bio?? Anyway... we got back together, and he admitted that the Insta bio was indeed about me. Honestly, trust your gut and it will be right! Also, please try and be strong and remove them from social media. I know it's hard but it will help in the long run. I need to take my own advice!
I actively stalk my narcissist's social media because of the history of infidelity. Wondering if he's cheating again. He hasn't broken up with me but acts like he has. Does that make me a narcissist too? I always wonder what happens when a narc meets a narc. Do the worlds collide? Tips on knowing if a narcissist is cheating on you? Yea I'm an idiot for staying I know.
No. I realized I didnāt start stalking, until there was no security in the relationship or until he gave me a reason to start stalking. Such as constantly bringing up his ex or something. Thatās when it began
Same, I was not this insecure in the being. I never worried about it before..
Iāve wondered also although I could care less what my Nex does. The fact that accountability is part of the fabric of my being leads me to believe Iām not a full fledged narcissist at least.
I'm sure mine tries. I've locked down and blocked all his accounts as they out themselves. The only folks I add are people I know irl and don't have any ties to him. ((legit, he liked a public FB post from an account with his first name and his mother's maiden name))
Mine did for a while. He f*d up though. The cops in town liked me, but they didn't like him āš»š¤·āāļø
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A drone! Nooo š«£
God yes. Always.
Yep. Mine has always been obsessed with social media. She knew my whole instagram before the relationship. She stalked her exes during the relationship. She would realize when I archive or unarchive a photo from my feed in less than a couple of hours and ask me why I did it. During the breakup she asked me to promise I won't block or delete and that I'd start posting frequently (I budged and didn't block or delete). She stalks now. Stalks my friends who deleted her from my followers. I feel like she can see and know everything, even though she lives on another continent. I knew these issues of hers before, but I now believe she is batshit crazy.
I know the nex checks my FB and instagram, a friend that visited him told me that he had seen the nex check multiple times I do find it funny. The nex has had at least three new supllies after I left, and still keeps checking my social media - even if I never post anything. Like, lol?
Mine was logged into my messenger watching what I told my mom and friends
I still don't post pictures of my son on social media for this reason.