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njf85

These people have never heard of comedy


Callimogua

OOP is giving looking a lil too long and hard at John Cena's body, getting funny feelings, and blurting out Qanonsense as a defense mechanism. šŸ¤£


b3_yourself

Comedy to them is making fun of minorities and lgbt people


MillionaireBank

No they literally can't laugh. They're neurodivergent situations prevent them from smiling laughing or realizing nuance or dichotomous realities. So, no, they're pensive, solemn, oppressed by depression and the international internet political podcasters turned them against psychiatric help of any kind.


Zsazsasmore

Just gonna put this down hereā€¦ https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/events


MillionaireBank

Sisterly thinking! thank you!


smalldisposableman

Neither has Jimmy Kimmel


mrubuto22

Be curious what comedians you like


smalldisposableman

Jimmy Kimmel? Really? Are we protecting a talk show host performing a sanitized, badly timed joke in front of a Hollywood crowd? I don't watch a lot of comedians that are known outside Norway but I like Norm MacDonald


Jfo116

ā€˜Oh my favorite comedian, he goes to a different high school, you wouldnā€™t know himā€™


ginataylortang

Right. He lives in Canada.


analpaca_

Who's your favorite Norwegian comedian?


WKCLC

Iirc the original topic is Kimmel, whom he brought up


analpaca_

I was responding to the content of the comment I responded to. What's your point?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


analpaca_

What comparison? All I'm saying is that the person who watches mostly Norwegian comedians is right that the rest of us have probably never heard of them.


smalldisposableman

What? No. I like The Office, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Simpsons, Veep etc, it's just that I don't care for entertainment shows like this. It's bland and lazy. And besides, I'm not from the US so of course I watch comedians from my country and I don't expect anyone outside Norway to know who they are.


BLVK_TAR

To be fair, there's no way you're defending Jimmy fucking Kimmel as a comedian. Reddit will upvote anything as long as it sticks to the popular narrative of each post, regardless of how contradictory it is.


IFightPolarBears

It's almost like it's not about the defense of Kimmel, but the weird anger and incel vibes transcending through the screen and giving people a visceral cringe feeling from reading some of the dumbest comments a room full of apes could eventually type up.


smalldisposableman

I was basically making the same point as everyone else here, that it's a joke that falls flat, mainly because Cena has a body that was meant to be seen without clothes. I didn't know I gave off incel vibes! It's just a stupid joke!


IFightPolarBears

>It's just a stupid joke! Sure was. Have a good one.


smalldisposableman

I should have made one of these jokes instead: If I was built like that Iā€™d be naked all the time. Right, showing off your perfect male physique and being the object of lust and envy from most humans on the planet is sooooo humiliating. If I had his body I'd be showing it off too. Uhh, John Cena is 46 years old and has a body like that. I doubt he's humiliated! Yeah, it's totally humiliating for a bodybuilder to show off his body. The cruel humanity. Iā€™m confused, I only see Jimmy Kimmel on stage


Kr155

I would argue that "well achshuwally, I like real comedians that arent popular." Is actually the basement dweller redditer take.


smalldisposableman

Wtf


BLVK_TAR

That wasn't my take at all you fucking idiot. The op was obviously making a light-hearted joke and you guys are crying about it, not because you genuinely think that Jimmy Kimmel is a comedy genius but because you're too scared to go against the popular opinion, you fucking sap.


Kr155

Dude, This is an anti satanic panic sub. People aren't here to defend Jimmy Kimmel's comedy. They are here because they are concerned about the fascist cult that turns everyone outside of their politics into a demon army that they must kill. "Jimmy Kimmel sucks though" isn't a message that's going to resonate.


smalldisposableman

That's fair, but holy shit you guys are defensive!


smalldisposableman

I get it. My jokes are not funny. It's these type of comments that belongs in an anti satanic panic sub: If I was built like that Iā€™d be naked all the time. Trip to Walmart: Naked! Withdrawal at bank: Naked! Pizza night: Naked, but not eating cause I gotta stay buff!


analpaca_

"This sub is about QAnon, which is why not liking Jimmy Kimmel is not allowed"


mrubuto22

Yea norm never performed for Hollywood... šŸ„“


smalldisposableman

Why are everybody trying to make it seem like I've said something I have not! What's your point exactly?


Eccohawk

He doesn't need protecting. He can take care of himself just fine. Arguing that a comedian isn't funny because he can't tell a neverending stream of crass jokes live on broadcast tv isn't exactly the dig you think it is. Kimmel is plenty funny without them.


smalldisposableman

Well, that's not my point. I don't mind comedians not being crass. This bit however is supposed to be a bit risque, but it is done in the most sanitized way possible. But I guess instead of suggesting Kimmel and his staff of writers are not completely brilliant, I should have told one of the following jokes instead: If I was built like that Iā€™d be naked all the time. Right, showing off your perfect male physique and being the object of lust and envy from most humans on the planet is sooooo humiliating. If I had his body I'd be showing it off too. Uhh, John Cena is 46 years old and has a body like that. I doubt he's humiliated! Yeah, it's totally humiliating for a bodybuilder to show off his body. The cruel humanity. Iā€™m confused, I only see Jimmy Kimmel on stage


Eccohawk

Ok...but that basically takes the original argument (that jimmy Kimmel isn't funny because his jokes are sanitized and has poor timing) and twists it into a critique not of him but of other reddit comments. Is your point simply that instead of taking the low hanging fruit of a simple joke, you instead opted to call out Kimmel/writers for something mildly unoriginal?


smalldisposableman

No, he's completely bland. That was the whole point. He doesn't have any strong opinions on anything. And that's just my stupid opinion. And I didn't know that people would freak out about that and call it "incel energy" or how my whole integrity as a comedy connoisseur would be put to the test! I thought it was pretty normal to think that these types of shows have lousy humor! That's what we do, we make fun of the bad jokes and have a good time watching the show!


Anomuumi

C'mom, don't downvote just because you like bland comedy. This is a funny comment. Funny because it's true.


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[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


analpaca_

What other threads are you talking about?


Anastrace

That's fair. He's the best in the late show bracket but that's not a high bar


AdImmediate9569

Itā€™s a fair point šŸ¤£


slothpeguin

I laughed.


galaapplehound

You don't deserve all the down votes for that savage burn. Have an upvote.


smalldisposableman

Thank you! I didn't know Kimmel was so beloved! To me he's just another American talk show host!


galaapplehound

Me neither. I like him alright but a savage burn should always be appriciated.


knightenrichman

šŸ˜† good one!


Zagenti

Issac having problems coming to terms with his unscheduled erection


metamet

STUPID SEXY ILLUMINATI


LA-Matt

Stupid sexy Oscarā€™s [sic]


JoJCeeC88

Uh ohā€¦ BONER ALERT.


potsofjam

If I was built like that Iā€™d be naked all the time. Trip to Walmart: Naked! Withdrawal at bank: Naked! Pizza night: Naked, but not eating cause I gotta stay buff!


Murrabbit

Seriously, what's humiliating about showing off his massive beefy roided out bod on TV? That's literally why he got it in the first place - he does mostly nude scenes in his TV shows too in large part because it's part of his draw as talent.


tothecatmobile

The man started his career in a profession where most people are in their underwear covered in oil. So yeah, I doubt he's too bothered about this.


mobfather

Itā€™s weird that they only wear underwear, but theyā€™re all competing for a belt. The fuck you need a belt for, if you donā€™t have any trousers? This is how you can tell wrestling is fake. šŸ˜”


valleymagus

In fairness, he mostly wore jorts while wrestling, which is significantly more embarrassing than underwear.


DisposableSaviour

šŸ’€


Murrabbit

Exactly, it's not some special humiliation, it's his day job haha.


legopego5142

Did you see his ass in the BTS pic. Dudes insane


Murrabbit

Nah and google isn't helping either. Help me out here, I MUST SEE THAT ASS!


interrobang

Check out the first episode of "Peacemaker", it's all there.


MrDelirious

Incredible that homeboy looks like this, and they made him wrestle in jorts for *years*.


Squidwardsuglycousin

And heā€™s 30-40lbs of muscle down from what he used to be.


potsofjam

He looked like Mark Wahlberg ate Mark Wahlberg.


Late_Emu

Exactly, this dude looks like a chiseled Greek god, is wildly well mannered, probably gotta sledgehammer downstairs & is widely loved. Why would this be embarrassing for him?!? He was already in the WWE, thatā€™s more embarrassing than this.


caraperdida

And you just know that if any QAnon came even close it'd take a miracle to get them to wear anything other than a MAGA hat!


mrubuto22

Jail, jail and you guessed it. Jail.


potsofjam

Doing time: You guessed it, NAKED!


dawgz525

Yeah lol, John Cena nakedly flaunting his perfect body isn't quite the humiliation the poster thinks it is.


Crazy-Boysenberry452

Yeah I'm not sure how this embarrasses him.


TooTiredMovieGuy

When I was young and ripped, you would have thought I was allergic to shirts. My thirties hit hard


Imaginary_Goose_2428

That's what I'm saying! Humiliation? I'd be proud as fuck!


Sammyterry13

When you get that big, you can eat a lot and still be okay (you're literally burning a lot off). Source: I was pretty damn big before my businesses took off. I could eat whatever the hell I wanted (always ate pretty well) and would just work it off. Now ... I'm just big but in the wrong way. :(


nikkibeast666

Right, showing off your perfect male physique and being the object of lust and envy from most humans on the planet is sooooo humiliating.


LivingIndependence

It's just pure jealousy at this point. These people will never have the lives and success that these people do, so they have to tear them down at every opportunity.


caraperdida

Yeah, and John Cena seems like a pretty decent dude too. He holds the record for most the most Make-A-Wish wishes. It strikes me that this is likely why these people feel a kinship with Trump. If they had fame and fortune, they'd do with it more like what Trump does (be an obnoxious prick) than something like working 650 times with an organization that grants the wishes of sick kids.


ADDnMe

> He holds the record for most the most Make-A-Wish wishes. For comparison the multi billionaire family ran a corrupt charity. https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/fbem/DocumentDisplayServlet?documentId=JLJih9v_PLUS_EKSuJs36THzexg==&system=prod.


IowaContact2

Cena has been noticably rather *supportive* of Vince since all those allegations came out...


caraperdida

That sucks but I guess isn't really surprising since it's basically the owner of his industry. He also pandered to China and Saudi Arabia pretty hard for basically the same reason. That's why I said only pretty decent. Honestly, the entire pro wrestling industry has been problematic since it started, so I wouldn't mourn if it went under!


wolves_hunt_in_packs

[gets me every time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZtH3dgwGUs)


BreakfastInBedlam

It's humiliating because that's such a small card he's holding.


SnookyTLC

The producers fought with SAP (stadards and practices) over the size of that envelope, which is funny if a bigger one means hiding a bigger package! :)


caraperdida

Uhh, John Cena is 46 years old and has a body like that. I doubt he's humiliated!


LA-Matt

Man, *I* would go on TV naked for one tenth of the kind of money Cena makes. Ainā€™t nobody want to see that, though.


CIMARUTA

I thought he was older tbh that's nuts


UncleSnappy

I just realized I am only one single day older than him! My joints sound like Rice Krispies and I wake up with back pain every day and usually confused thinking I am late for school. I'm a woman, but damn, this really reminds me I need to get my health shit together.


caraperdida

Honestly, do what he does and lift weights. You'd be surprised how much better it makes you feel, and it stabilizes your joints and will build bone density. ​ Don't worry about ending up looking like him, because even for a man that takes years of work, careful attention diet, and, more than likely, steriods. No one gets pro wrestler size by accident.


Rin-Tin-Tins-DinDins

If I had his body I'd be showing it off too.


Electr_O_Purist

John Cenaā€™s been famous for more than 20 years. Theyā€™re just getting around to the initiation ritual now?


Enoch_Isaac

They couldn't find him....


caraperdida

Eh, you know how it is, HR is up your ass to fulfill some madatory training but when you call to schedule it the person in charge of arranging it is on maternity leave, or there aren't any openings in the schedule, and so you just forget about it until they send you the next angry email about not completing it and then you call them and the cycle starts all over again!


even_less_resistance

Hey, thereā€™s a backlog lmao


After-Bumblebee

Everything has to be a morbid ritual, eh?


HermaeusMajora

Yeah, it's totally humiliating for a bodybuilder to show off his body. The cruel humanity.


ProudChevalierFan

I mean those guys really hate to strip down to nothing and flex. Such abusive behavior.


FunnyBoneBrazey

Is it worth it? Now everyone will see that at age 46 youā€™re still swoll as fuck. Such shame.


mrsciencedude69

Iā€™m confused, I only see Jimmy Kimmel on stage


famousxrobot

Maybe itā€™s the floating envelope next to him?


Flop_Turn_River

I had to scroll too far to find this.


kodaiko_650

I thought that was one of the funnier bits (no pun intended)


galaapplehound

John Cena's job has him mostly naked most of the time. If that was humiliating to him I feel like he wouldn't be a pro wrestler.


kevin_2_heaven

Found the correct response


Ignorant_Grasshoppa

Hi. Grasshoppa here. If anyone wants to humiliate me publicly but also pay me millions of dollarsā€¦.Iā€™m in whenever you are ready.


mishma2005

They canā€™t even watch the Oscars w/o hosing it up


musei_haha

Is there another picture? I don't see john


MrDeathMachine

Pretty sure showing yourself being the physical embodiment of a Marvel Super Hero is more of a flex than a humiliation.


turbguy

Hey! It WAS the Oscar for Best Costume Design!


BrickCityRiot

Well heā€™s a multi-millionaire without a care in the world.. so yes I would say itā€™s worth it. Can someone sign me up to hold a small board in front of my pelvic region next year so I can be free of the crippling debt modern society imposes on the rest of us? 99.99% of people in this country would without hesitation pull that stunt at the Oscars for what it paid. If that signs me up for the Illuminati then itā€™s a feature, not a bug. Why is modern society so afraid of a naked human?? *these people are insane and they shouldnā€™t be given a platform*


lolzilla

Well, we can't see him, so...


ColoHusker

With the lights off, we all have a swoll cena bod. Sadly, most of us will never know the benefits this illuminati humiliation ritual would bestow. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


Outsider17

Why are yā€™all talking about John Cena on a picture of Jimmy Kimmel?


CarbyMcBagel

He was a professional wrestler for decades. A group of people known for wearing basically shiny underwear in front of thousands of people. God these people are dense.


Individual_Grass_469

John Cena has been famous for nearly 25 years. The last 15 plus heā€™s been making movies along with still wrestling. I need the that clown to explain to me how he wasnā€™t famous & successful prior to last night.


travelsizedsuperman

More like Illilumi-naughty.


DrewciferCDXX

I laughed way too hard at that.


peppermintvalet

Heā€™s doing an ad spot for his movie, lol


Freezepeachauditor

Iā€™m sure he hates people looking at him.. being an ex wrestler and all.


Caedes1

I forgot about the "humiliation ritual" conspiracy stuff. How many humiliation rituals has trump gone through already? If celebs need to undergo these humiliation rituals to gain power and fame, trump himself should be the greatest of the deep state members.


Paula_Polestark

Can the Illuminati please humiliate me if I get John Cena money out of it?


LitesoBrite

With a body like that, itā€™s the guy posting this that got humiliated lol,.


Ratathosk

That's my buddy Ricky


Strix86

Can I get a P? Can I get a R? Can I get an O? Can I get a J? Can I get an E? Can I get a C? Can I get a T? Can I get an I? Can I get an O? Can I get an N? Whatā€™s thatā€™s spelled?!


Heel_Paul

John probably has bigger issues right now like not being swallowed by Vince's sex trafficking case.


bondsthatmakeusfree

Nah. Zhong Xina humiliated himself enough when he apologized to China for referring to Taiwan as its own independent country.


caraperdida

True!


tonyk11

Cena had been a pro wrestler for 20 plus years. He had done way more humiliating stuff as a wrestler than this.


CapnCanfield

I'm not shredded in the slightest and I would absolutely stand naked on a stage for the fortune. The fame I guess would be a bonus I wouldn't need in life, but wouldn't mind the negatives of it either.


Jamericho

This is a guy who wrestled in short trunks for yearsā€¦


Passioncramps

Have they ever seen a John Cena show where they didnt cast him as arnold 2.0... he always gets naked.


DrewciferCDXX

All I can see is a floating envelope and a pair of sandals.


noodleq

Why are they even saying this? The dudes so chiseled he's probably happy to run around nude.....I somehow doubt that humiliation is what he's feeling at that moment.


redlion496

Even his nose is strong!


SorosAgent2020

why does everything has to be a ritual dammit, we illuminutty like keeping things spontaneous sometimes too!


Frankbot5000

Next level validation: nude at the Oscars. He has ascended.


captaindickfartman2

Do you know who John Cena is?????


ComradeGalloneye64

I thought he did that when he promoted a movie in China (they still whine about that)


Zealousideal-Yak-824

Didn't they claim the initiation ritual was blood sacrifices and concert sing alongs? So now it's college fraternity level pranks now? Next they are gonna tell me movies are real and we are seeing actual recorded history.


MunchieMofo

These fucking losers think everything is centered around Hollywood and rituals. They actually think they are big brained geniuses. Twitter is rife with these posts. Hmmmmm whats the solution?? Vote maga and worship jesus. In that order.


Throwupmyhands

Lol these theorists seem to think the boogeyman secret societies exist to convey secret messages at awards ceremonies. That is more stupid to me than the actual theories they believe.Ā 


CuriousAlienStudent

I don't think that man has anything to be embarrassed about his body is sick.


MillionaireBank

Oh my God how funny. So the art appreciation efforts are a failure but don't worry Bank of LP is a teacher of art history and painting so I will be teaching remedial arts appreciation courses along with film appreciation even though I think it's low quality. It I was very surprised that it was being protested and it was literally late due to protesters. That was very appalling and quite jarring to experience in this time. I mean. Very sad.


YoMillhouse76

Heā€™s definitely in the Club!


Puzzleheaded_Peak273

Yes it's true. Next time I'm found naked and apparently drunk while dancing to Saturday Night by Whigfield in the supermarket - just remember that we control the world and you can't touch me copper!


SnookyTLC

Man is such a perfect hunk, you really think he feels embarrassed? It's called acting. He did much the same in his funny awesome show "Peacemaker."


a_r_burns

Return of Kappy is the darkest name for a Qspiracy page yet


chaquarius

It's not much less than what he wore in the ring. Doubt he has any humiliation with that body anyway


violetstrainj

As a wrestling fan, I just have to say that this is ridiculous. The man dressed like a literal 10-year-old on live TV for 20 years. Showing up mostly naked is an upgrade for his dweeby ass.


PubicWildlife

He covered up more than when he wrestled.


violetstrainj

Iā€™m just saying that wasnā€™t much of a humiliation.