Not being able to feel or recognize your emotions is common. There are times when I was anxious where I did not feel anxious at all and the only way I knew was because it caused my body to react with anxiety. For example, track meets when I was a kid. I never felt anything, but my performance took a hit that did not occur during practice.
I've also been in traumatic situations as an adult where I didn't feel anything until months later. When someone was actively trying to rape me in a public bathroom, I didn't feel anything other than annoyed and i was able to calmly think my way out of the situation and escape.
Then after a few months I became aware of my anger at the situation, and at the many other people in the bathroom who I asked to help me and they did not.
I am unemotional to the point where it infuriates my overly emotional mother. One example, without going into personal details is that I was the victim of what would be considered a “violent crime” when I was 19. The police kept offering to send the victim support team to talk to me. I shrugged it off. For me, once it was over, it was over. I obviously didn’t enjoy it, but it was done. My mom was getting so annoyed that she actually yelled at me about my non-traumatized response. It’s like she wanted me to have PTSD or something. I’m newly diagnosed, so not an expert, but my guess would be it’s a fairly common response for people with schizoid personalities.
I’m the same way. When my mother passed from suicide I was literally the only person to seem to be totally accepting of her choice. Not in the way of me actually truly being totally aware of why she did it. But more in the sense that death seems inevitable for everyone eventually and I don’t know why it scares people so much. Obviously it’s objectively tragic when someone dies in a horrible horrific way like a major cancer illness or a painful accident death. That is in fact horrible but death itself… doesn’t seem to rattle me at all.
This was me in Afghanistan. Completely unfazed by it and no lasting problems ten years later. Everyone around me though seems to think I must have ptsd…like they want me to have it. Very bizarre since ptsd is not universal to everyone’s experience of traumatic events.
Pretty common, and I found my way to an understanding that I wasn't 'disturbing' because of it. I've also somewhat figured out that it's not that I don't feel it, just so far recessed it cannot come out naturally. It's like I'm emotionally slow, about \~2-3 years to when it kind of finally hits me, though significantly tamer considering the event and stuff that all immediately follows it is physically far removed.
When I think about relatives of mine who passed away, I find that I never had a strong emotional response - I was left incredulous, however, by their passings ("damn, are these people really gone?").
I experienced a traumatic event over 8 years ago and only acknowledged its impact on me 3 years ago when I decided to stop drinking alcohol.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD-PI and autism, but not as schizoid. (My psychiatrist described me as “emotionally impoverished.”) Just to disclose up front here.
I had a lot of physical reactions to trauma that I dismissed as symptoms of low blood sugar, stress, or having ADHD (headaches that sound and feel like a train in the distance, insomnia, couldn’t remember shit, photosensitivity, self-isolation, random outbursts of anger).
My wife regularly commented on how withdrawn and “island-like” I had become, which was a point of contention. But I literally felt like I was trying to survive. Alcohol made the headaches stop and helped me spend time with my family without dissociating or feeling like my head might explode. But I knew I was drinking too much: I started hiding bottles everywhere, including my car.
Anyway, I dismissed the idea that the traumatic event I experienced was actually “traumatic.” I’d scoff to myself, “psh…what is *trauma* anyway?” I didn’t connect the dots between my experiences and the physical symptoms until I stopped drinking alcohol and started engaging in talk therapy.
Talk therapy is worth it if you can find someone you feel comfortable talking to. I had to go through like 5 therapists before finding someone who wasn’t annoying, patronizing, or inept. So if you tried therapy once and it sucked, try again with someone else. It’s a pain in the ass, but it has helped me to talk with someone who is able to be objective (not a family member or spouse who might be hurt if you share what you *really* think and feel).
Yeah I’m in the same boat with alcohol. Only way I can make it through most weeks.
My trauma is since childhood, and I too, began having panic attacks seemingly out of nowhere. Been an interesting ride. I just keep wishing I could push it all aside, but it keeps floating up like a dead body to haunt me.
Huge conflicting extremes between my mind and body.
My father sexually abused my sister when I was 10. I saw a fatal stabbing of a 15 year old boy at a party when I was 16. When I was 25 I (alcoholic) got into a fight with my girlfriend (alcoholic with borderline personality disorder) and hit her and smashed up our house. I caught a charge and nearly went to prison.
I'm now 34 and I have processed literally none of this to the level acceptable to NTs, I just don't think about it or talk about it. I try not to drink so much. Talking does not help. I had some panic attacks a few years back when my work randomly decided to run background checks on existing employees but I came out of that clear and haven't really thought about it much since. I hate myself and I used to attempt suicide every 2-3 years but I can't do that anymore because I have a daughter now, so I'll just keep moving forward.
Not being emotional has its advantages. You could even make money with this skill. I'm an EMT. I've also been a moderator for porn websites. very little weirds me out.
PTSD still may strike in 1-3 years after a traumatic event, you may have delayed dissociative response to it ...or it just didn't affect you
Sounds normal to me. I often say that I am like a ball that bounces less the harder you throw it.
100%
Not being able to feel or recognize your emotions is common. There are times when I was anxious where I did not feel anxious at all and the only way I knew was because it caused my body to react with anxiety. For example, track meets when I was a kid. I never felt anything, but my performance took a hit that did not occur during practice. I've also been in traumatic situations as an adult where I didn't feel anything until months later. When someone was actively trying to rape me in a public bathroom, I didn't feel anything other than annoyed and i was able to calmly think my way out of the situation and escape. Then after a few months I became aware of my anger at the situation, and at the many other people in the bathroom who I asked to help me and they did not.
I am unemotional to the point where it infuriates my overly emotional mother. One example, without going into personal details is that I was the victim of what would be considered a “violent crime” when I was 19. The police kept offering to send the victim support team to talk to me. I shrugged it off. For me, once it was over, it was over. I obviously didn’t enjoy it, but it was done. My mom was getting so annoyed that she actually yelled at me about my non-traumatized response. It’s like she wanted me to have PTSD or something. I’m newly diagnosed, so not an expert, but my guess would be it’s a fairly common response for people with schizoid personalities.
When people close to me pass away, I don't really feel anything.
how bout pets?
Burying my grandparents - content. Burying my dog(s) - devastated.
k that's where I'm at as well
I’m the same way. When my mother passed from suicide I was literally the only person to seem to be totally accepting of her choice. Not in the way of me actually truly being totally aware of why she did it. But more in the sense that death seems inevitable for everyone eventually and I don’t know why it scares people so much. Obviously it’s objectively tragic when someone dies in a horrible horrific way like a major cancer illness or a painful accident death. That is in fact horrible but death itself… doesn’t seem to rattle me at all.
This was me in Afghanistan. Completely unfazed by it and no lasting problems ten years later. Everyone around me though seems to think I must have ptsd…like they want me to have it. Very bizarre since ptsd is not universal to everyone’s experience of traumatic events.
Pretty common, and I found my way to an understanding that I wasn't 'disturbing' because of it. I've also somewhat figured out that it's not that I don't feel it, just so far recessed it cannot come out naturally. It's like I'm emotionally slow, about \~2-3 years to when it kind of finally hits me, though significantly tamer considering the event and stuff that all immediately follows it is physically far removed.
When I think about relatives of mine who passed away, I find that I never had a strong emotional response - I was left incredulous, however, by their passings ("damn, are these people really gone?").
I experienced a traumatic event over 8 years ago and only acknowledged its impact on me 3 years ago when I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I have been diagnosed with ADHD-PI and autism, but not as schizoid. (My psychiatrist described me as “emotionally impoverished.”) Just to disclose up front here. I had a lot of physical reactions to trauma that I dismissed as symptoms of low blood sugar, stress, or having ADHD (headaches that sound and feel like a train in the distance, insomnia, couldn’t remember shit, photosensitivity, self-isolation, random outbursts of anger). My wife regularly commented on how withdrawn and “island-like” I had become, which was a point of contention. But I literally felt like I was trying to survive. Alcohol made the headaches stop and helped me spend time with my family without dissociating or feeling like my head might explode. But I knew I was drinking too much: I started hiding bottles everywhere, including my car. Anyway, I dismissed the idea that the traumatic event I experienced was actually “traumatic.” I’d scoff to myself, “psh…what is *trauma* anyway?” I didn’t connect the dots between my experiences and the physical symptoms until I stopped drinking alcohol and started engaging in talk therapy. Talk therapy is worth it if you can find someone you feel comfortable talking to. I had to go through like 5 therapists before finding someone who wasn’t annoying, patronizing, or inept. So if you tried therapy once and it sucked, try again with someone else. It’s a pain in the ass, but it has helped me to talk with someone who is able to be objective (not a family member or spouse who might be hurt if you share what you *really* think and feel).
Yeah I’m in the same boat with alcohol. Only way I can make it through most weeks. My trauma is since childhood, and I too, began having panic attacks seemingly out of nowhere. Been an interesting ride. I just keep wishing I could push it all aside, but it keeps floating up like a dead body to haunt me. Huge conflicting extremes between my mind and body.
My father sexually abused my sister when I was 10. I saw a fatal stabbing of a 15 year old boy at a party when I was 16. When I was 25 I (alcoholic) got into a fight with my girlfriend (alcoholic with borderline personality disorder) and hit her and smashed up our house. I caught a charge and nearly went to prison. I'm now 34 and I have processed literally none of this to the level acceptable to NTs, I just don't think about it or talk about it. I try not to drink so much. Talking does not help. I had some panic attacks a few years back when my work randomly decided to run background checks on existing employees but I came out of that clear and haven't really thought about it much since. I hate myself and I used to attempt suicide every 2-3 years but I can't do that anymore because I have a daughter now, so I'll just keep moving forward.
Did you witness the sexual abuse? Or what proxy thing happened that would have had an effect on you? Did you know about it when you were 10?
Not being emotional has its advantages. You could even make money with this skill. I'm an EMT. I've also been a moderator for porn websites. very little weirds me out.
I was robbed at gunpoint in a bus once and on another occasion sexually assaulted ironically also in a bus. Didn't really feel anything.