Normal scene on the bridge. Ron starts sniffing aggressively...
Janeway: RED ALERT! SHIELDS UP! PHASERS TO FULL POWER!
Janeway: Where is she?
Ron: She's close! Hide the coffee!
She’s the Empress of the Moon, obviously.
(Although let’s be honest and face the hard truth here. There is *one* character that Aubrey would want to play. Purely as a matter of principle, it has to be Neelix.)
Yeah. Just ask yourself: what would be the most disturbing choice for her to make, and who is the creepiest and most unsettling character? It’s a slam dunk, really.
You don't think Pohler as Janeway?! Insane about Star fleet regulations and getting none of the crew to go along with it except for maybe Tom (Chris) and her best friend B'elanna (Anne)
Cut to holodeck, Ron is in his workshop busy handcrafting a beautiful canoe. When the program ends the canoe doesn't disappear. It's a real canoe and he carries it back to his quarters. Only the workshop and tools were holograms.
The town of Swanee is the crew of Voyager. Engineering is run by the librarians, slutty and hostile to the bridge crew. Security is the Animal Control , slightly stoned
https://preview.redd.it/ncnelzpwpryc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0b011d394b5851577348bf21351073c459c64d8
“I like a strong, salt of the earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field”. He’d be in his element.
That and hiding bacon from Neelix in the Jeffries tubes.
The executives would've hired a phoney 'expert' in native American Libertarianism.
Akoocheemoya. We are far from the sacred places of those who would try and govern us.
Owen Paris will happily make that trade. Andy seems like a far superior son. He probably won’t make salamander babies, but he will adopt a three legged dog.
"OH look, another thing we have in the Alpha Quadrant.."
"You call that a wormhole? Try the Bajoran wormhole, friend."
Bring me all the Akoocheemoya you have.
Wait. I'm afraid what you just heard was "bring me a lot of Akoocheemoya."
Bring me ALL the Akoocheemoya you have. Understand?
Neelix "Ah, commander, would you like to try a special dish I created."
Chakotay "Yes, please (takes it and tosses it in the garbage) another please."
Neelix tentatively hands another, Chakotay throws it in the trash as well. "Is there a problem, commander?"
Chakotay "I'm just making sure Noone else has to eat this. May I have another?"
Neelix "I don't think I can do that..."
Seven of Nine "I'd like one... "
Neelix hands one to Seven, and Seven throws it in the trash.
Janeway: Chakotay how did you fix the shuttle? I thought it was destroyed.
Chakotay: Ha! It wasn’t much I just recrystalized the dilythium with an acetylene blow torch. Realigned the Nasels, and repaired the hull with some lovely maple I found over there. Then sealed it with a varnish I made by boiling tree sap until it had heat resistant properties. Anyone could do it.
Now hurry up woman, I hear Nelix has finally figured out bacon.
I always thought that it would have been more interesting if Chakotay had been an experienced Captain as it would have set up some genuine tension with Janeway over the series. Rather than having the Starfleet vs Marque thing (that quickly fizzled out) and Chakotay turning into a simp, he could have let it known from the start that he should be captain due to seniority.
I'm throwing this out there as an alternative..... Rob lowe would be a better chakotay, although Rob lowe as the doctor would be hilarious. instead what is the nature of your medical emergency? it can be finger guns Ann perkins! Ron Swanson can be Harry Kim when he visits a planet full of Tammy's that need his DNA to propogate. or .... or... libertarian borg is a bizarre concept. they hate government so much they must de-assimillate you from your governing biology. chris Pratt is such a kazon. Ron could be a decent tuvix.
Seska is played by Megan Mullally.
Seska. I always suspected you were cold blooded reptile. Now we know.
"I was a cardASSian the whooole time!"
I'd pay to see fr
Tammy Seska
Normal scene on the bridge. Ron starts sniffing aggressively... Janeway: RED ALERT! SHIELDS UP! PHASERS TO FULL POWER! Janeway: Where is she? Ron: She's close! Hide the coffee!
“Give me all the leola roots you have.”
I don’t believe you understood me. All of them.
Aubrey Plaza would be a solid B’Elanna.
This is her boyfriend Tom, and this is *his* boyfriend, Harry.
You don’t think Rashida Jones/Ann as B’Elanna and Amy Pohler as Seven (but pre-Picard seven)
But we have to cast Plaza as someone ... Tuvok?
Evil Kess?
She’s the Empress of the Moon, obviously. (Although let’s be honest and face the hard truth here. There is *one* character that Aubrey would want to play. Purely as a matter of principle, it has to be Neelix.)
I have never met her but I feel this a keen observation of Aubrey Plaza's personality as I see it.
Yeah. Just ask yourself: what would be the most disturbing choice for her to make, and who is the creepiest and most unsettling character? It’s a slam dunk, really.
Harry Kim, who gives no fucks about promotion.
That's Jerry Gary Larry Gergich Gungirch
Send her over to DS9 to play Morn.
Aubrey Plaza as The Doctor. It's the obvious choice.
Now that you mention it, absolutely!
The Doctor/EMH! "Please state the nature of the medical emergency, as if I care..."
I kinda figured Amy would be Janeway. Seven playing German Death Reggae and Halloween sound effects records tracks for me.
The coffee is how she stays so perky.
You don't think Pohler as Janeway?! Insane about Star fleet regulations and getting none of the crew to go along with it except for maybe Tom (Chris) and her best friend B'elanna (Anne)
Plaza would be Seven. Pohler would be Janeway and Rashida would be... The Doctor? Yeah. Tom is of course Paris
Jerry/Larry/Garry is Kim
Aw, geez!
Could we agree that Neelix is Jerry/Gary?
Neelix is Tom Haverford.
Oh s*** you’re right. Gary is Ensign Kim
Dammit Jerry!
Ensign Larry Kim
He'd have them back in San Francisco in a week.
This is I think the biggest takeaway. There would be no interaction with the caretaker due to a strong libertarian live and let live ethos.
No fucking way is he going to that hippie place. He’d be heading straight for Ferenginar. They get it.
No he would be actively sabotaging the entire trip to stay gone longer.
Cut to holodeck, Ron is in his workshop busy handcrafting a beautiful canoe. When the program ends the canoe doesn't disappear. It's a real canoe and he carries it back to his quarters. Only the workshop and tools were holograms.
Woo, that had me laughing.
We'd have a first officer capable of playing bluebird
I don’t know but now I want (need?) Nick Offerman in Star Trek.
If they were going to do an update on Harry Mudd and Stella, this is how they should have done it.
The town of Swanee is the crew of Voyager. Engineering is run by the librarians, slutty and hostile to the bridge crew. Security is the Animal Control , slightly stoned
My God you are right.
"Don't worry, I have official star fleet authorization." "This is just a pad that says: I can do what I want."
The pad actually says “F the prime directives”
Actually I bet he’d follow the prime directive simply because he can’t be arsed.
https://preview.redd.it/ncnelzpwpryc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0b011d394b5851577348bf21351073c459c64d8 “I like a strong, salt of the earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field”. He’d be in his element. That and hiding bacon from Neelix in the Jeffries tubes.
The executives would've hired a phoney 'expert' in native American Libertarianism. Akoocheemoya. We are far from the sacred places of those who would try and govern us.
So would Tom Paris be replaced by Tom or Andy?
Andy seems like the only reasonable answer here.
Owen Paris will happily make that trade. Andy seems like a far superior son. He probably won’t make salamander babies, but he will adopt a three legged dog.
“Probably” is doing a lot of work in that sentence.
John Ralphio
Yeah but, Janeway is batshit.
Tammy Two.
“What do you mean it doesn’t taste like bacon?” -Neelix
Jean Ralphio as Tuvok
"Talaxians are The WOoooooorrrst!"
How about Beef Tobin as Chakotay? Get the Ron Swanson do-it-yourself attitude but with a more wacky fun vibe.
There wouldn't be a lot of discussion.
I'd watch that show.
Aguccimoya
"Son, before you insist that we do things the Maquis way you should know that you look like you could use a swift punch to the face."
"OH look, another thing we have in the Alpha Quadrant.." "You call that a wormhole? Try the Bajoran wormhole, friend." Bring me all the Akoocheemoya you have. Wait. I'm afraid what you just heard was "bring me a lot of Akoocheemoya." Bring me ALL the Akoocheemoya you have. Understand? Neelix "Ah, commander, would you like to try a special dish I created." Chakotay "Yes, please (takes it and tosses it in the garbage) another please." Neelix tentatively hands another, Chakotay throws it in the trash as well. "Is there a problem, commander?" Chakotay "I'm just making sure Noone else has to eat this. May I have another?" Neelix "I don't think I can do that..." Seven of Nine "I'd like one... " Neelix hands one to Seven, and Seven throws it in the trash.
This confirms my theory of Aubrey being a badass Seven.
Picard but instead Larry David.
Janeway: Chakotay how did you fix the shuttle? I thought it was destroyed. Chakotay: Ha! It wasn’t much I just recrystalized the dilythium with an acetylene blow torch. Realigned the Nasels, and repaired the hull with some lovely maple I found over there. Then sealed it with a varnish I made by boiling tree sap until it had heat resistant properties. Anyone could do it. Now hurry up woman, I hear Nelix has finally figured out bacon.
I always thought that it would have been more interesting if Chakotay had been an experienced Captain as it would have set up some genuine tension with Janeway over the series. Rather than having the Starfleet vs Marque thing (that quickly fizzled out) and Chakotay turning into a simp, he could have let it known from the start that he should be captain due to seniority.
This all supports my theory Voyager would have been better if they’d just made it a sitcom.
Would watch.
"If you treat her like a lady, she'll always get you home"
Alright... Who broke it?
Dude!
Didn't Jim O'Heir (Jerry Gergich) have a brief role, basically as Jerry Gergich, on Voyager?
I'm throwing this out there as an alternative..... Rob lowe would be a better chakotay, although Rob lowe as the doctor would be hilarious. instead what is the nature of your medical emergency? it can be finger guns Ann perkins! Ron Swanson can be Harry Kim when he visits a planet full of Tammy's that need his DNA to propogate. or .... or... libertarian borg is a bizarre concept. they hate government so much they must de-assimillate you from your governing biology. chris Pratt is such a kazon. Ron could be a decent tuvix.
My brain went to Ron Jeremy
Fair. But different post for another day.