Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!
Clients will sometimes want to give their therapist a gift, or wonder if they are allowed to do so. It is perfectly natural to want to show appreciation to your therapist, although it is not an obligation nor required. We have compiled a FAQ on gift giving in therapy. [Gift FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/comments/zch6l1/faq_can_i_give_my_t_a_gift/)
To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I gave mine a card because I spent the thanksgiving at the hospital the year before and just wanted to say that I appreciate him helping me get to where I was
I have crocheted my therapist a couple of small things over the years. I usually use stuff I already have, so it’s just my time. And it’s been appreciated. But we have also talked about it a bit
Can you help me with any ideas about what to crochet. I am big on practical gifts. I recently saw a nice bookmark and I made that for my therapist because she enjoys reading. But idk what else could be appropriate to gift. I don't think that a scarf would be appropriate or accepted by her.
Oooo bracelet is interesting even though I don't think that a crocheted bracelet is her style but it is a small and cute thing nonetheless. Can you help with the pattern that you used? Where did you buy the pattern from, if it was bought? Or YouTube video if taken from there?
Can you help me with any ideas about what to crochet. I am big on practical gifts. I recently saw a nice bookmark and I made that for my therapist because she enjoys reading. But idk what else could be appropriate to gift. I don't think that a scarf would be appropriate or accepted by her.
I like making mandala type patterns and during Covid I made her a small like pillow cover size thing of the virus pattern)oddly specific I know but she loved it and had it up in her office) last year I needle felted Christmas tree ornaments for everyone and gave her one.
What about a coffee sleeve, or snowflake Christmas ornament
I’ve sent flowers to the (private) practice as a whole with a “Thank you for the difference you make in peoples lives” note. I send them without a name for anonymity. I do the same for my OBGYNS office every year because without them I wouldn’t have made it.
Every relationship is unique. I work with kids and families mostly, and if a kid wants to get me a gift, I happily accept. They get so excited and proud. If it's something small, your therapist may accept it. If it's valuable, they might not.
I made toffee last year and gifted a very small tin to my therapist, the therapist that referred me to her, and the receptionist. This year I have a new guy (I left the college I was being seen at so needed to find a new guy) and I won't be getting or making him anything. I don't really feel any connection to him. Different relationships have different experiences and meanings. So no, I don't think it's weird to want to give a small gift, or to do it. But make sure it's nominal in value. Generally something handmade is best; some will accept (but won't necessarily eat) food items. I know mine did eat the toffee because she had a couple pieces in front of me lol.
1) My health situation has loads of dietary restrictions. I don’t discuss allergies/restrictions/medical prohibitions in session (why would I) and if they give me something, I’d hate to disappoint.
2.) I am not comfortable about cost and/or effort to cook/bake/procure
3.) I still do loads of online sessions, getting food from them exposes my privacy. Also generates imbalance if I take from the in-person against the online ones.
They’re me things. I am sure other t’s are cool with it tho!
Ah, gotcha. That’s fair- especially in not wanting to get into the specifics of food allergies I suppose. I always wonder how other therapists feel about those sorts of things. For me, sharing food and drinks (coffee, tea) is such a nice and communal sort of ritual. I see most of my clients in person so it creates a space for that. Seems like such a low-stakes mode of connection to me but I respect that it might seem like too much for some.
Yep and ultimately it makes things uncomfortable when asked if I liked or ate the thing because ultimately I’m not supposed to be a client’s personal friend, although I care for them
I struggle with the idea of a gift a lot. I brought coffee to the session once, even though he said he didn't mind. He ended up not touching it. It felt weird. I gave up. I am considering a nice card, if anything, at all.
Coffee is one of those things that can really throw off your stomach, maybe his stomach was already upset. I love coffee but can’t drink it too late in the morning or it will keep me awake. Was your session early? I wouldn’t take it personally.
My session is the last one of the day. I thought of those reasons, I understand. I didn't take it personally, but I wouldn't invest too much time thinking of gifts anymore. I think a card is the perfect option
I usually write my therapist a nice card every holiday. I saw an ornament at the store recently with a quote she always says to me, so I may also give her that this year. It will be our 5th year working together, so I’m hoping it will be fine.
At my agency we can accept gifts under $25 in value. I tend to not take gifts that aren’t like small drawings. I’ve had clients bring me food, gift cards, etc and I decline because it puts me in an awkward spot.
From time to time I have given my T a little something as a show of gratitude. A week ago I made some strudel and I brought her a piece of it. Normally my T is pretty low key, but she really lit up when I gave it to her. I mean, who doesn't like homemade strudel, right?
I tried one time, she took it, was grateful, but she told me to never do that again. This could be considered as a bribe to a doctor, and is very much illeagal
One client I know got her therapist a nice candle, the therapist kept it at the office +not to burn) but she used it when teaching grounding using the 5 senses I think cards are always welcome
I saw something in my old therapist’s website that said they can’t accept gifts that exceed $10…
I gave her a flower a few times and she liked Van Gough a bunch, so I actually had this Van Gough umbrella that had been gifted to me that I thought I wouldn’t like as much as she would. So I gifted it to her 😎 and she liked it I think! But she knew the backstory and that I didn’t spend money on it 🤗
Anyways I think I’d use the $10 thing as a guideline. Obviously if you give like a ton of money that could be a conflict of interest or impact the objectivity of the therapist-client relationship which already risks being skewed due to transference, sooo playing it safe is generally a good bet!
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! Clients will sometimes want to give their therapist a gift, or wonder if they are allowed to do so. It is perfectly natural to want to show appreciation to your therapist, although it is not an obligation nor required. We have compiled a FAQ on gift giving in therapy. [Gift FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/comments/zch6l1/faq_can_i_give_my_t_a_gift/) To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d just make them a card or something handmade.
I gave mine a card because I spent the thanksgiving at the hospital the year before and just wanted to say that I appreciate him helping me get to where I was
I have crocheted my therapist a couple of small things over the years. I usually use stuff I already have, so it’s just my time. And it’s been appreciated. But we have also talked about it a bit
Can you help me with any ideas about what to crochet. I am big on practical gifts. I recently saw a nice bookmark and I made that for my therapist because she enjoys reading. But idk what else could be appropriate to gift. I don't think that a scarf would be appropriate or accepted by her.
I crocheted my t a simple bracelet and wrote a little note about it on a card. Thats was 3 years ago. She still wears it sometimes :)
Oooo bracelet is interesting even though I don't think that a crocheted bracelet is her style but it is a small and cute thing nonetheless. Can you help with the pattern that you used? Where did you buy the pattern from, if it was bought? Or YouTube video if taken from there?
I kind of just winged it. I had an idea of what I wanted and went from there. Let me see if I have a picture of it.
Yes please. I would love a picture. I am a beginner rn. So I can't wing it tbh.
Can you help me with any ideas about what to crochet. I am big on practical gifts. I recently saw a nice bookmark and I made that for my therapist because she enjoys reading. But idk what else could be appropriate to gift. I don't think that a scarf would be appropriate or accepted by her.
I like making mandala type patterns and during Covid I made her a small like pillow cover size thing of the virus pattern)oddly specific I know but she loved it and had it up in her office) last year I needle felted Christmas tree ornaments for everyone and gave her one. What about a coffee sleeve, or snowflake Christmas ornament
I’ve sent flowers to the (private) practice as a whole with a “Thank you for the difference you make in peoples lives” note. I send them without a name for anonymity. I do the same for my OBGYNS office every year because without them I wouldn’t have made it.
Every relationship is unique. I work with kids and families mostly, and if a kid wants to get me a gift, I happily accept. They get so excited and proud. If it's something small, your therapist may accept it. If it's valuable, they might not.
I made toffee last year and gifted a very small tin to my therapist, the therapist that referred me to her, and the receptionist. This year I have a new guy (I left the college I was being seen at so needed to find a new guy) and I won't be getting or making him anything. I don't really feel any connection to him. Different relationships have different experiences and meanings. So no, I don't think it's weird to want to give a small gift, or to do it. But make sure it's nominal in value. Generally something handmade is best; some will accept (but won't necessarily eat) food items. I know mine did eat the toffee because she had a couple pieces in front of me lol.
I think if my clients gave me nice, small, thoughtful thank you notes, that’d be swell. No food, though. I live alone and it’s too much.
Just out of curiosity, what is the discomfort around accepting food?
1) My health situation has loads of dietary restrictions. I don’t discuss allergies/restrictions/medical prohibitions in session (why would I) and if they give me something, I’d hate to disappoint. 2.) I am not comfortable about cost and/or effort to cook/bake/procure 3.) I still do loads of online sessions, getting food from them exposes my privacy. Also generates imbalance if I take from the in-person against the online ones. They’re me things. I am sure other t’s are cool with it tho!
Ah, gotcha. That’s fair- especially in not wanting to get into the specifics of food allergies I suppose. I always wonder how other therapists feel about those sorts of things. For me, sharing food and drinks (coffee, tea) is such a nice and communal sort of ritual. I see most of my clients in person so it creates a space for that. Seems like such a low-stakes mode of connection to me but I respect that it might seem like too much for some.
Yep and ultimately it makes things uncomfortable when asked if I liked or ate the thing because ultimately I’m not supposed to be a client’s personal friend, although I care for them
Some facilities or people have policies against this, so I would ask beforehand. Usually there are price limits.
I struggle with the idea of a gift a lot. I brought coffee to the session once, even though he said he didn't mind. He ended up not touching it. It felt weird. I gave up. I am considering a nice card, if anything, at all.
Coffee is one of those things that can really throw off your stomach, maybe his stomach was already upset. I love coffee but can’t drink it too late in the morning or it will keep me awake. Was your session early? I wouldn’t take it personally.
My session is the last one of the day. I thought of those reasons, I understand. I didn't take it personally, but I wouldn't invest too much time thinking of gifts anymore. I think a card is the perfect option
I usually write my therapist a nice card every holiday. I saw an ornament at the store recently with a quote she always says to me, so I may also give her that this year. It will be our 5th year working together, so I’m hoping it will be fine.
At my agency we can accept gifts under $25 in value. I tend to not take gifts that aren’t like small drawings. I’ve had clients bring me food, gift cards, etc and I decline because it puts me in an awkward spot.
From time to time I have given my T a little something as a show of gratitude. A week ago I made some strudel and I brought her a piece of it. Normally my T is pretty low key, but she really lit up when I gave it to her. I mean, who doesn't like homemade strudel, right?
I tried one time, she took it, was grateful, but she told me to never do that again. This could be considered as a bribe to a doctor, and is very much illeagal
One client I know got her therapist a nice candle, the therapist kept it at the office +not to burn) but she used it when teaching grounding using the 5 senses I think cards are always welcome
I saw something in my old therapist’s website that said they can’t accept gifts that exceed $10… I gave her a flower a few times and she liked Van Gough a bunch, so I actually had this Van Gough umbrella that had been gifted to me that I thought I wouldn’t like as much as she would. So I gifted it to her 😎 and she liked it I think! But she knew the backstory and that I didn’t spend money on it 🤗 Anyways I think I’d use the $10 thing as a guideline. Obviously if you give like a ton of money that could be a conflict of interest or impact the objectivity of the therapist-client relationship which already risks being skewed due to transference, sooo playing it safe is generally a good bet!
I give my therapist gifts quite often. Its not a big deal. But we have known each other forever.
my relative was told her therapist was not ethically allowed to accept gifts by the receptionist
I always get her a Christmas card and I’m basically like, thanks for being awesome and putting up with me!! 😃
Some practices have a rule about accepting gifts. It might not hurt to ask before a thoughtful gift has to be donated or tossed