I love that you did this. I did something similar (I wasn’t a teacher yet). A female coworker was married to an absolute monster. She had no money, no car, no nothing. Anyway, she wanted to go home, with her daughter. So after work one night I drove her and her child to the airport (she had her passports). Gave her some money and a diaper bag and put her on a plane to Scotland. That was in 1989.
I'm a teacher. When I was a child my parents, who weren't married but in a common-in-law relationship, separated. My father got sole custody because he had the money. My mother who was Taiwanese moved back to Taiwan and shortly passed away. He abused the ever living shit out of me. I remember my grade 5 teacher wrongly accusing me of stealing chocolate from a charity. I begged her not to tell my dad. That vindictive witch did. My father put me in a dog kennel all summer.
It is one of the reasons I don't EVER show any anger towards my students and do not tell the parents anything that could lead to their abuse in any shape or form. If I have to, I always talk to the student and their parents to see if they are abusive or not.
Some teachers are just evil.
That's brutal, I'm so sorry you lived that. Love how you now are an awesome teacher in return. Could have gone down a dark path, but chose a different way.
The teacher that never told saved my life... The school social worker would call my mom about my emotional reactions and self harm. My mom would hurt me because I told. Then when I told that I hated her and she was mean, she told the school social worker I was born premature so she shouldn't trust anything out of my mouth
It's a well known scientific fact that premature babies develop into adolescents with character defects, which make them prone to laziness, lying, and fornication.
-Some 1800s quack nut job, probably
People think CPS has all this power but if you're not covered in bruises and your home is clean and you're fed no one is going to save you especially if you're 13+
My mom was reported on often from Kindergarten until 11th grade. They came to our house to do wellness checks. Even with a multitude of bruises and a dirty house, they did nothing.
I'm sure your local animal shelter would love a donation. If they can't use it themselves, they can give it to the next person who rescues a large dog.
Agree with the other commenter.
Donate it directly to a shelter/vet office/TNR group. Then you'll know it's being used as intended and you'll be helping out whoever you donate it to.
My god, I am at a loss for words.
I'm so incredibly sorry you had to go through such torture as a child!
I'm not religious, but I hope hell finds that man one way or another.
I stopped talking to him as soon as I turned 18. I went to the police told them that I want nothing to do with him and if he claims I am missing or something, please do not come looking for me. They fucked up once, I changed addresses, and never heard from him again. So, he might be dead. He tried to contact my friends and their family to get them to contact me so that I will return home. I told them that if they tell him where I live or even try to communicate anything from him to me, I will never speak to them again. I am in my 40s now. Never heard from him.
I hope he is.
Same with me. Helped a very young neighbor escape an abusive druggy husband who literally nailed boards across her bedroom door. (Previously I had been hiding food for her on my porch, so if she went on a walk, she could eat something--he was also starving her.) I had to take off school twice to go to court with her after she escaped. We had good people/sources in our area that were beneficial to her success. She had no children in our school system; but would have done everything to help her anyway.
> I was invited to a party at one of my coworkers houses and I didn't like the guy period. Well after what my friend said about him beforehand and I didn't really know him so wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to though. Turns out he was a pos all around and probably was abusive towards his kids, too. Every time I saw him, I wanted to punch him, but of course there were kids around.
I didnt like him straight away and he was probably abusive and I did nothing about it: really isnt a story worth bringing up in relation to the other stories people are sharing here.
my mom went NC with me weeks before I moved 3000 miles across the country. my stepdad and I stayed in contact and he helped get us home a year later. my mom would have left me to starve.
After years of abuse, my stepfather’s therapist helped my mother get out. That was just from the conversations she had with HIM. I’m still grateful that she helped remove that poison from our family.
This is fascinating to me because the therapist could have faced repercussions, and in most every other circumstance, you don’t want your medical provider talking to your family without your consent. But what an incredible thing to do for your family.
May I ask how she reached out to your mother and convinced her out? Does your mother still talk to her? I can’t get over how amazing she was to do that.
She suggested they do a couples therapy session. Somehow she got my mother alone and was able to set up a system for contact. I think she was agreeing with him and building his ego up so he wouldn’t question my mother seeing her alone.
She coached my mom how to leave. Only my aunt knew because the rest of her family couldn’t be trusted.
My mother unfortunately passed away from brain cancer five years ago. I’m not sure if she stayed in contact with the provider. I understand what a risk she took by helping her, and I think that ethically she made the right choice. She had to have been extremely good at what she did for my mother to finally listen and trust that she needed to leave for good.
Piggybacking on this higher comment to paste what I already commented below: this is not “too involved”.
OP, you’re part of a culture that has normalized *not* getting involved in the things we KNOW we must act on.
We’ve normalized pretending we don’t see ourselves in other people who are in need. We’ve normalized looking away instead of helping neighbors. This goes against our instincts — it is counter to our hardwired + programmed humanity.
I am a spec ed teacher, but when I was 16 my mom moved the man who physically & sexually assaulted me into our home. She bailed him out when he was arrested. I left & slept in a car I bought for $200. The principal at my school found out and he and his wife rented me a studio apartment. They paid for me to go to counseling & helped me get a job so I could afford food & basic necessities.
I'm so sorry your mom did that. Such a horrendous betrayal.
I'm so glad there were good people in your life that took action and helped.
I hope you're doing well.
I had a student who had run away from a her family, who was a known drug dealer with violent tendencies in the area. I received a call from another school employee that said she was on the highway and walking away from her house with her boyfriend. Both she and he were 18 at the time. My wife and I went and picked her and her boyfriend up and in talking with her prior to this day, we knew that the situation at home was terrible.
The boyfriend had family in the next state, and the girl was comfortable going there, so we drove them over to his family’s house. Had she not been 18, we would not have done it. Police were called on us, and we discussed it with our administration after we returned home to let them know what we had done. Since they were 18, there was no recourse that could have been taken by the police, so no charges were filed and we stayed in education and moved out of that community after that year.
The girl went on to marry her boyfriend and have a couple kids, living a successful life. Family she was with were involved in many drug offenses and leading police on a high speed chase and are still in prison. I feel that we gave her a shot at a successful life, even if it could have cost us our careers. Worth it!
I can appreciate that. I knew the father would have no problem entering the school to come after me. I'm 5'4", he was over 6' , and I worked in a classroom not attached to the main building, so it was a concern.
Thank you for taking the time to plan and help this family. Unfortunately CPS can only do so much and we are asked to step into the ‘line of fire’ (please pardon the pun) to help people out. You are amazing!
This happened when certain kids in my grade ran away. Fled two states over to Oregon. Even kids who barely knew them knew and we all kept quiet because we knew how their family was. It's a small town.
Such a shame that laws and organizational policies strip out so much context and conditions to pigeon-hole situations into specific boxes of rights V. wrong. I mean this from both sides of narratives.
I’m a veteran with multiple combat tours, I’ve seen friends go through hard times mentally and emotionally due to reintegration struggles and PTSD, recover and grow from it but have lasting setbacks from criminal charges. Criminal charges resulting from a system that created their issues, pretends to help, then uses ill-fitting corrective measures.
I’ve witnessed along your perspective too. A close friend of mine was in a bad spot, terrible mom who abandoned him while she couch surfed through sex, drugs, and rock n roll with various men. My friend was in a rough place and really only came to school for free breakfast and lunch. Got caught by the school liaison officer with a backpack full of drugs and instead of doing the job he was employed to do, the officer listened, understood, mentored him. The officer was paying rent and utilities at their apartment so my friend wouldn’t get evicted, as well as bought him food and clothes. Eventually the officer adopted my friend, this was about 15 years ago. His life path of likely replicating a vicious cycle was abruptly stopped by violating laws, school & department policies. He has a good career and a great, healthy family and lives 2 blocks away from his dad, the retired police officer.
I know the framework exists for a reason, the school liaison officer could’ve just as easily been grooming my friend, I can only imagine the perception if he was a 14-15 year old girl at the time. The lines of the 3 circle Venn diagram of Altruism, Misguided Good Deeds, and ill-intent can be blurry but more should be done to navigate nuance and understand and tailor responses.
The organic and complex nature of humans cannot fit into legalistic, black & white spreadsheets.
>I know my school board would have told me to stay out of it...
Which is further confirmation that you did the right thing.
Mark Twain was right about school boards.
Mark Twain is right about politicians and government too.
"Diapers are like politicians and should be changed often, for the same reason."
"Love your country always, and support your government when it deserves it."
Well often enough he was right. What scares me is that he was pretty chill with black folks for his time but if you read with what absolute hatred he writes about native Americans its terrifying.
When my daughter was in 7th grade, I drove a school friend of hers home after an evening chorus concert. The school friend was also my current student.
When we pulled in the driveway, her mom and little brother who was a little younger than two years old were outside on the porch. Mom came to my car and said that stepdad was drunk and angry and had locked them out of the house.
Her purse and all her belongings were in the house. I didn’t know what to do so I told them they could all spend the night at my house, got them in the car and they spent the night in my guest room.
When we got to my house, mom called her sister from the house phone and the sister picked them all up the next morning.
The next day, my student withdrew from school bc she, mom and brother went to live with auntie in another city.
This was in the days before cell phones and social media were so prevalent. I think about my former student and hope they’re all ok
Oh absolutely!! That night on the way to my house and when I was getting sheets on the guest room beds and in morning when I left for work, mom was extremely thankful for my help and said thank you multiple times.
I never told anyone bc it was my first year at the school and I knew I would probably get in trouble for crossing the line.
This makes me want to shout out a few folks from my rough childhood who I will probably never be able to find:
- people who picked us up when our shitty cars broke down on the freeway
- church group that brought us Christmas presents one year
- whoever paid for the plane ticket so I could go on a class trip to Washington, D.C.
We have a show choir at our school and every year, I pay for a student to be able to go on their trip to Universal Studios in Florida.
I can tell you without a doubt that it gives me such great joy to do it.
I, too, am a retired teacher! I taught 8th graders and one year, I won a $100 gift certificate to a local mall right before Christmas. I had the counselor give it to one of my students who was in foster care and had been having a really hard time with her new parents. The counselor told her she had won a contest at school and gave her the certificate. The counselor later told me she was ecstatic because she wasn’t sure she was going to get anything for Christmas. This was in the early 2000s, so it was a good gift. It still makes me smile to this day. I never told anyone!
How sweet of you! The fact that you guys told her she 'won' it, rather than giving her a 'pity gift' allowed her to spend it freely without feeling any guilt, shame etc.. 🥰
One of my coworkers who is a cool younger male teacher and basketball coach always “accidentally” buys the wrong size shoes. It just so happens they fit most of the kids who want to play sports, but maybe don’t have the funds to have the right gear. He thanks them profusely for getting them off his hands. It makes me smile every time.
We had a very poor and poorly parented student who’d worked and scraped together enough money to go on a high school trip in another state with no help and with her family actively trying to get money from her.
I saw a colleague shopping in a nearby town and it turned out she was shopping with the girl, buying wardrobe basics as she’d tried to pull out of the trip on realising she didn’t have any suitable clothes. She wasn’t after fancy, just something acceptable, underwear, a shirt, jumper, pants, a basic wardrobe to be sure.
I gave my colleague a sum of cash to help out and asked her not to mention it to anyone.
This girl is in her late 20s now and has made it out of our town and escaped the fate of her family. I like to think that our combined efforts gave her some hope and helped her on her journey, although surely, most of the credit goes to the girl herself.
Called a parent and told them to threaten to press charges or better yet, actually press charges against the student who sexually assaulted their daughter!! They just wanted to suspend him for three days and keep him in the same PE and lunch period!!! If they had found out I’m the one who pushed mom to demand a harsher consequence, I probably would have been reprimanded. This was upper elementary so they were trying to be more like “boys are boys” but hell no
Wow. That's disgusting. I'd have been right there with you. But I'd have yelled at them, but that's me. Good job keeping your kids safe! I had to get a high school student get kicked out for something similar (my students would still contact me after they graduated). It took me and the principal all summer before we found the female detective responsible. I had to contact her supervisor. Her response was to tell me not to contact her supervisor. I told her to do her fucking job. And she was forced to. But that's another story.
My mom did that when I'd complain about boys messing with me and it still pisses me off. It never escalated like this, but still. At one point, my other classmates and I had to go to this other classroom when he had a meltdown before. Older kid me would've punched him, but elementary kid me was nonconfrontational.
I’m so sorry! Well, I am very big on CONSENT. I do push for students to tell a person to STOP before coming to me… bc you know kids can rattle alottt. But unwanted touching in your no no square is an automatic straight to teacher. But I tell the kids, if they someone is bothering them, and they ask them to stop, and they continue… to tell me and there will be HELL TO PAY. Because no means no.
Yea, they didn't touch me, though. I did eventually tell him that I didn't want that game anymore where he would chase after me and he said it's not a game. 3rd grader me didn't know what to say.
I had to deal with a SA situation done to my daughter in the first few weeks of kindergarten and I still to this day can’t believe they didn’t want to deal with it AT ALL. The principal was shocked I wanted her moved at least to a new class. He said ONLY because it was the beginning of the year would he allow that. I wish I would have punched him.
I believe there’s a rule in Australia that if a teachers sees abuse, by law they have to report it.
I’m not a teacher, maybe another Aussie can confirm?
Thank you.
Unfortunately, I have a story from the opposite side. I had to attend the funeral of a parent who didn’t get out. Her sons were sent to relatives in another country- a place they had never lived in, with people they didn’t know.
Thank you again.
That almost happened, but it was a friend and former classmate of mine. Her dog saved her that night. When he gets out, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't really say what I want to do, not that I will act on it.
As a teacher in the US wouldn't you be protected/compelled by "mandatory reporter" rules anyway? Like "I know this kid and their address and have reason to suspect there's abuse going on, so I have to make a report to CPS."
My school (work, not one I was enrolled in) has a counselor that housed four student siblings for the remaining month of the year before CPS moved them into another guardian’s house where they’d have to attend a different school. She housed them so they could finish the year with their friends and everything and I admire her a whole lot.
Not me, but my mom is also a teacher. When I was a kid these two kids, one of whom was in her class, came and spent the night at our house. I just thought awesome sleepover, but when I got older she told me the real reason. They were living with their mom’s abusive boyfriend and the mom was ready to leave. She confided in my mom and so my mom took the kids for the night while their mom got out of there. Both of the kids are grown up now and living really good lives. I have a ton more stories of things like this my mom has done for families throughout her career. She’s an amazing woman.
I let a homeless student live with me for four weeks so she could graduate with her classmates. The mother lost her job; had to move out of state and the girl (18) lived with me in my apartment. Totally unethical at the time I realize now. But it was my second year of teaching and I a 24M didn’t think anything of it. This girl was very intelligent and had been in three of my classes.
She told me her mom lost her job and had to move out of state, and off the cuff I said well you can just stay with me. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah sure. She went home; talked to mom. Her mom called and we talked it over. Two days later I have a student living with me. She stayed four weeks, graduated on a Friday, moved out and went with her mom right after graduation.
Prior to this, I was told I wasn’t going to be rehired so that they could hire the next head football coach. I figured I couldn’t get in trouble; they already told me I wasn’t coming back. Would I do it again? Probably.
I agree 100%. If the school/district hadn’t already told me I wasn’t being rehired, and I hadn’t already secured a new teaching position prior to offering the student a place to stay I may have made a different decision. But those two factors being taken care of already I figured it didn’t matter. The current district had already not rehired me and I had a new job waiting in August.
Man... I upvoted this and am grateful it worked out for you. It could have been bad. I realize you felt like you knew her and the mom approved etc., but this could have gone so badly wrong.
I had a teacher in high school do something similar for me. It wasn't as bad as your student's situation, but, for me, the teacher had seen the mounting signs of abuse and neglect and always offered to help if she could - a ride home, a place to study in her classroom after classes, extra lunch she would pack, etc.
Finally, about 2 months before I was set to graduate, I was kicked out and planning to leave the state to stay with friends, meaning I would have to drop out. She offered to let me stay with her until the fall when I would go to college so I could graduate on time.
I ended up working something out with the school that allowed me to finish my year in a kind of independent study and submit some final exams by mail so I could still get my diploma on time.
Now, decades later, I still can't believe how kind and generous she was for me, some kid out of hundreds if not thousands she had over the years. She's the first person I think about whenever I need to remember to have faith in humanity.
I will always push my parents to advocate for their students with admin (relentlessly). Me complaining to admin about a bully in my class won’t make a difference, but a pissed off parent up my admin’s ass can and will lead to change.
I worked as a case manager for people in unstable housing situations. My client was extremely lonely and had agoraphobia she desperately just wanted a pet. I went on Craigslist and someone was giving away their cat. I turn up to a methhouse and the cat is in seriously rough shape, clumps of fur missing and barely any teeth. Well, I take the poor baby to my client and she told me it wasn't going to work out. I shrugged and decided I would keep the cat myself, BUT my other client who knew about the cat told me she wanted it, and it was her new best friend she loved the cat and she told me it got her thru this really hard time. The kitty and her formed a beautiful relationship. So although it was bad boundaries and put me on extremely thin ice at my job, I have zero regrets
I bet that young mom was super thankful, and maybe more so as she got older!
I was a teen mom, but in ancient times, before most people had anything other than flip phones, and even still, the people in our economic standing didn't even have those for another several years.
I had an old basic camera, but the film was too expensive to buy and/or develop for me at the time. Every photo I have of my baby (except 1 professional photo my mom gifted me) was from someone else's camera and them developing the film. Several of these I blew up and frames later in life, but I would have had no photos from 0-6 months if not for family and friends with cameras!
A co-worker and I helped a student who was being abused by their parent, get out of the house. We put her in contact with a social worker and the student was able to get her a place to live.
She was less than 2 months from turning 18 and CPS said nothing could be done because she would be 18 before CPS would be able to do anything.
Bless you. Yes in some cases it would have been “too much”. In some cases with the wrong people it would have exposed you to risk. But you saw a situation in which you could help, and you did. I believe that if it were a different person and a different situation, you would have had the sense to know if it was right for you to be involved.
You saw a situation where you could help and you did. I thank you for that and it’s so amazing that you got some closure from it. You are a gem. Thank you. As an abuse survivor, thank you.
A wonderful elderly head cook at our elementary school used to carefully pack leftover food for a couple of our needy kids and each weekend their backpacks fed them and their other siblings for the weekend. She was caught by the head of the food service and received a written reprimand that she would be terminated if she did it again. That very Friday, new, bigger, backpacks were filled and on the backs of those children. (But they had to pick them up in my room). She and I kept this secret until she retired and I moved schools. Four years she/we did this! Dianne you were an angel then and I am sure, you are a real one now. 😇
I really hate any place that would rather throw food away instead of feeding people with it. When I was a teen,I worked at a pizza place. If we had pizza that didn't get picked up, or was made with the wrong toppings, we'd leave it by the back door. It was always gone within 30 minutes because homeless people knew to check. And the teens from bad homes that hung out at the park nearby. Anyway, management changed and new manager made us open the boxes and throw it in the dumpster. Then installed a locked cage around the dumpster. I quit shortly after.
I have been hiding little resin figures all around my school this year and so far only two people have figured out that is me. It has now created copycats and it is driving people crazy (in a good way). My plan is to subtly reveal myself at graduation if I don’t get caught beforehand..
When I was a junior in high school I hid tiny pictures of nick cage all over the campus in hard to reach places. I don’t know why I decided to do it but I told nobody. It really caught on and I started also printing out a small link to a file other people could print out. The next year people had started putting little pictures of cabbages up. Apparently some of my little cages are still up over a decade later and to this day nobody knows it was me.
Sorry, custodians.
A student came to speak to me about something in my office after our child developmental psych class. She said she was pregnant, that she was surprised because she was told she’d never be able to have kids, that her bf wanted an abortion, her mom wanted her to keep it - I asked what she wanted. She seemed surprised and like she hadn’t considered it before, like no one had previously cared what she wanted. The look on her face was quite telling, she wanted it. I told her if she wanted to be a Mom and was given the opportunity, it was her choice to make. If she didn’t want to, that was her choice to make too. It was her choice, not her bfs not her Mom. It was her body, the baby was half of her, it it was all her choice. She left quite happy and subsequently withdrew from my class. I’ve never seen her again but I sure hope she got to do whatever she truly wanted. Ive hoped she withdrew to take care of herself and her baby, but I’ll never know. I think of her at least once a year.
I've been teaching for 17 years. Around year 5-6 I was teaching AP world history and met a student who could have easily been a younger sister to me. We looked alike and had a very similar personality. We held a yard sale at school and she bought one of my old college sweatshirts to wear for good luck during the exam. During her senior year a lot changed. She was involved in everything (NHS president, all AP classes, applying to very selective colleges, doing Model UN) and her perfectionism turned into an eating disorder. I had been through the exact same thing so I recognized what was going on. Her mom wasn't taking it seriously and didn't want the "shame" of her daughter having some sort of problem. Finally I had to convince the school nurse, counselor, and principal to meet with mom bc she was losing so much weight. Mom agreed to put her in an inpatient treatment facility. I visited my student several times a week and helped her get caught up on her school work, made sure her college applications were prepared, requested letters of rec from her other teachers, etc. She still struggled and had some not awesome boyfriends, but once she got to college (American University in DC) she thrived. She went to grad school in London and goes to Afghanistan and other places regularly for work. I was in NYC this past summer and spent a day with her catching up.
I don't regret getting this involved, but it took a lot out of me, like emotional energy bc I constantly worried about her and had to watch her like a hawk to make sure she ate. It was the right thing to do, but I haven't allowed myself to get that close again.
“I got too involved”
No! You’re part of a culture that has normalized *not* getting involved in the things we KNOW we must act on.
We’ve normalized pretending we don’t see ourselves in other people who are in need. We’ve normalized looking away instead of helping neighbors. This goes against our instincts — it is counter to our hardwired + programmed humanity.
You did great. Was it risky, physically? Yep.
You know what else is risky, spiritually/mentally? Living the rest of your life doubting your own humanity and/or goodness because you could have helped someone survive that one time but you didn’t even try.
Thank you. Thank you so much for your actions and for sharing here.
Our house growing up was a safe place for abused women and their kids. My mom dared the men to try and come to the house. I have some great friends from those broken homes. My mom was God sent to most of those women and kids. You did a great thing,
I told an 8th grade girl where to go to get birth control pills without her parents knowing about it. She had asked her mother to take her to the doctor for them, and her mother screamed at her and told her there was NO WAY she (the girl) was going to have sex before she got married.
I even asked our school counselor if I could give this girl the information she was seeking, and the counselor told me to stay out of it.
This was in the pre-internet days, where finding out about Planned Parenthood needed at least library access or the knowledge that it even existed.
My mom kidnapped a student and her infant son to get them to a safe location, away from the student's abuser. (This was in the 80s.) We were lucky enough to reconnect with the student in 2015. Because of my mom's actions, that student got to live a full life free of the abuse that would have killed her - she is a mom many times over, a grandmother now, a pastor, and an advocate for women in her community.
My mom risked losing her job, jail time, and me being taken away (I was in the car during the events), to save a life. I am grateful for her principal who never reported that day.
College level. Colleague and I were talking about anime and cosplay after class when one of my students comes up to join in. She’s just getting into cosplay and is in her first year. Very sweet girl.
Learn in that same convo that her mom is going to kick her out of the house next week because she found out she’s bisexual.
Since that was essentially me in Highschool—cept my mom sent me to an all-boy’s military boarding school—I did everything in my power to help her. Even after my boss warned me not to, saying: “Subjug, I get you want to help. I love that you want to help. But, please, just be careful. The extent of your help should just be pointing her to the departments on campus that exist to help students like her in these situations. Don’t get personally involved. You never know how many crazy bitches are out there looking to ruin a career.”
(This coming from an older woman I considered my academic “mother”, who most everyone looked up to and respected on campus; so needless to say I was a bit flabbergasted. Didn’t stop me, though.)
Long story short: the sister of a friend of mine needed a housemate, and we all worked together to move the student out and get settled. Even helped her find a job as a student secretary at my college so she could afford moving out.
Never told my boss and always made sure to work through proxies—friends of mine and their friends—to get her what she needed.
That's meaningful, honestly. Therapy helps, but knowing that there are really people out there who risk a lot to do the right thing helps a lot too. It didn't happen for me and my siblings (and teachers knew!) but it's happening for these kids, and that's a world I'm glad to be a part of.
Really - anyone moved to do anything like this has my unending gratitude.
I know many of us have reported child abuse w/o putting our names on the report. I had to explain in teachers meetings that if you don’t report it and you know it is going on then you are an accessory to the fact and can be arrested too. That you should not put your name on the report because the perpetrator can pull the records later to see who made the report. I did not tell them how I knew these things. If you see something say something. And I always worried about the kids under the radar that are good at hiding what is going on. One little girl had been abused by an uncle. Another was chained to his bed at home. He always wore long sleeves and pants. It covered the bruises. Another was made to sleep in the garage on a cot. Given a can opener and canned food to eat. Nothing cooked. He acted out badly in school. There was a reason he was that way. Another was unkept. Bushy hair. Didn’t bath or brush his teeth. The kids made fun of him. One day when he was not in class I told them to knock it off because not all kids have parents that take care of them. A boy in class went over to his house to ask him to play. He had no toys. He had no furniture in his room. He slept on the floor with a blanket and pillow. And another boy had intricate marker drawings all over his back and down on his bottom. The other boys saw it in the rest room. I asked him about it and he said his parents and friends got high and put him on the kitchen table and drew pictures all over the back of his naked body all night long. And the list goes on and on. Those are some of the ones I knew about. And yes there were times when admin interfered with things getting reported. Report it anyway. Like the park in the neighborhood where parents let their 5th and 6th grade girls go hang out and play unsupervised. High school guys came there to take advantage of them. It was off campus so I was told not to report it. Some of the girls became pregnant the next year. In 7th grade.
Well done for doing this. You saved that woman's life, and possibly the child's as well.
My mum was a teacher (now retired). I don't think she has any stories as wild as yours - not that she's divulged anyway - but I remember her getting "too involved" with a particular situation.
One of her students was constantly either very late or didn't show up at all. There were other warning signs that I'm not privy to, but one morning my mum put her assistant in charge of the class (just to and from morning assembly) and my mum took a walk up to the child's house.
Once she got there she saw the kid through the window, sitting in his school uniform in front of the tv. No sign of his mum.
Long story short, it turned out the mum had severe depression and separation anxiety. When my mum knocked on the door she was asleep in bed.
My mum helped talk her into getting some counselling and worked out a phased "back-to-school" schedule. Some days the child would attend for a morning, some days he'd be in in the afternoon, until finally he was back in school full time.
I'm not sure what happened to the family, but I know my mum ended up taking early retirement when a new (bully) headmistress came in, citing this incident as evidence of my mothers "insubordination".
I'm so proud of my mum, and all teachers who go above and beyond for their students.
This just gave me full body chills. Bless you for your good deed. What a powerful, life changing thing you did for this mother and son. This story restored any and all faith that I lost in humanity today.
Sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗
I love this for you 💜 when I was very small we had a teenage neighbor. A few years later we moved and she contacted my mother. She had gotten married and had two small children extremely young and needed help getting away from her abusive husband. My mom put her and her children in our house for a time (a HUGE risk because my dad was very verbally abusive himself and outwardly was gracious but she had to take a LOT of shit from him for it), got them to a women’s shelter, and visited her to get her settled. My mom could have done a lot of things better in my childhood, but she is always and forever will be my hero because she always did and gave absolutely ALL that she could with what little she was given herself.
Thank you.
Not going to use any of the old "not all heros wear capes" style tropes (tho you most definitely deserve them all)
I will say though that if I'm ever met with someone in such need, that I'm strong enough to help and to keep generations of people safe when they need it most
You're a genuine inspiration
I’m a district superintendent and I can honestly say that if you did this in my district I would have put you up for teacher of the year. I would have also donated money. Good for you, you are a wonderful example of a teacher
When I was in high school (16~ish), I had a female friend whose mother punished her by withholding food. The levels of neglect were insane. She was less than one hundred pounds at 18 years old and had never seen a dentist in her entire life. When her mom would buy a steak for herself, she would give her daughter a can of green beans for supper. (She never had a steak until she moved out of their house). When she had a bad cut from working in the family garden get infected, her mother told her to pray about it and never took her to the doctor. The school nurse had to get involved for her to get any medical care. Her parents were also hoarders, and the living conditions were terrible. The church community they were a part of protected the parents from any form of retribution when CPS was called, passing her around their members until they could hand her right back to her mother. She wasn't allowed to have friends or do any after-school activities unless they involved the church. She was even going to be kept from going to college. Her music teacher knew all about the situation and helped the girl, who had a beautiful singing voice, get a choir scholarship for college against the parents' wishes. The girl didn't have a way to move out and get to the college dorms, so the music teacher asked me (kid with a big pickup truck) to help move the girl to her new college. I, of course, said yes, and the music teacher and I showed up while the parents were supposed to be gone. The parents didn't even know the girl had been accepted, and she was just going to not be there when they came home. Mom showed up and smacked the girl with a lamp. The music teacher, (70~ish year old woman) hit the mom (250 lbs moose of a human) with her car door. Mom gave up and went inside, called the daughter everything but a nice person, and threw the rest of her stuff in the street. We finished loading up my truck, and Dad showed up, then tried to pull his daughter (18 years old) out out of my truck. I slammed his arm in the door a few times, and he gave up. Dad called the police, the mom was arrested for assaulting the daughter with a lamp, and the dad was arrested for trying to assault the police officer who arrested his wife.
The girl and I have now been married for over twenty years, have three beautiful daughters, and we only speak to her family about once every five years or so. The music teacher was a beautiful woman who helped my wife like a grandmother through her college life, and we kept in contact until she passed a decade ago.
We later found out that music teacher had done similar things for many kids throughout the years, and was somewhat infamous for being a sparkplug of a woman. In the '90s, she once hit an abusive father in the head with a frying pan hard enough to put him in a coma when he came to her house after she had called the cops after seeing bruises on her student. Absolute legend of a woman.
I am not a teacher but I am dating one. I follow this subreddit so that I can understand her more I guess. I have been so lucky to have wonderful teachers in my life, and now I have another one.
I just want to say that I think you are amazing. We are all lucky to have people in our lives who truly care for others.
Good for you. That’s a great highlight.
I did the same when I was a second year teacher. My parents helped with money. I don’t consider it a secret, though no one except my parents knew. It’s what I was raised to do. My parents always had people turning up at their door. Mom still gets flowers every year on Mother’s Day from some lady I don’t even know who is a few years older than me. Oh I could name a dozen people who think they belong to our family but don’t. Religious upbringing here. They walked the walk.
Edited to add: both my parents talked of people who helped them at their own low points. The first time I heard the expression “pay it forward” I understood exactly that is what my folks did.
This post is bringing tears to my eyes. My mother taught for 30 years and in many occasions had to get too involved. Thank God my dad was friends and high school classmates with a man who went on to be the superintendent and Mayor. Mom had a wonderful partner in crime, my dad and between the two of them and the superintendent/mayor connections she was able to get too involved for her students when needed, with back up!!! Thanks to all the teachers who are our silent heroes, may God continue to bless, protect and keep you! You are seen, you are needed!!!!
It's people like you that keep a child from witnessing years of yelling and screaming, physical and verbal abuse along with years of emotional and mental trauma from seeing and hearing their mother or father being a literal punching bag for the other partner. It's God sent people like you that ward off a son or daughter burying their mother/ father and resenting the aggressor, growing up with all that trauma witnessed and the tense environment it creates paired and possibly stopping the children from being successful in a career or a healthy relationship or living a fulfilling life. I see no problem with what you did. Could it have been a conflict within professional relations regarding conduct between educator and student, maybe, I'm not in a union or an expert of law. I am however someone who has witnessed all that negativity and saw/ heard my parents fighting, what seems like, everyday until finally they sought professional help. With that said, thank you for what you have done. To that person and her child/ family you're an absolute godsend and angel. Need more people like you, who're willing to invest not only monetarily but your time and energy, your emotions and genuine concern and care. Good work.
This is why we love teachers. My mom put socks, underwear and food in kids backpacks when she found them lacking, always did it anon so as not to embarrass or get in trouble.
Chills reading this….
Someone did this for me and and babies 15 years ago. We are here today because of some kind women who stood for and hid us for years. Angels truly, Heroes infact. Thank you, thank you THANK YOU!!!
I'm not a teacher, but this community pops up on my front page every so often.
Thank you so much. As a kid, I was put into foster care, partially because of my mom's abusive partner. Rather than getting support, some of my teachers stopped talking to me entirely, including my kindergarten teacher. It made the whole situation so much harder because there was abuse going on at home and then I was put into a stranger's home and then half of the teachers that knew what happened pretended I didn't exist.
Your support changed their lives so much. I'm sure based on that alone you were a good teacher to all of your students, but so many people just let abused women and children suffer. You saved two lives, not just literally, but figuratively too.
I'm so glad there are teachers out there who care so much for their students. Growing up my home was so dysfunctional. I can look back on it now realizing my mom is a narcissist that drove the situation. But when I was younger she convinced me and my brother that it was all my father. Yeah these days I realize it was both of them but she would drag me and my brother out of the house in the middle of the night after starting a screaming match. We would sleep in the car or a tent. I still remember one time we stayed in an abandoned trailer for a week. I woke up in the morning with no lights and would get dressed for high school in the dark. I never let on with what was happening and my school work suffered horribly. I'm sure though that my Col in JROTC has a good idea what was going on. He would let me sit in the side classroom and do homework during his class. Teachers who care are the most amazing souls.
That's incredible, this makes me so happy you were able to help!
This might not get seen, but I once was out for a walk with my dog at our apartment complex. A young lady was rushing between the buildings hysterical, and I saw her twice before I realized something was up. No one was out there at that hour, so I was the only one who saw her. She ran up to me saying "he" was going to get her and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want me to call the police because that would put her in more danger.
Me and my dog took her straight to our apartment, closed all the blinds, and had stun guns ready. Apparently when her boyfriend looks for her, he searches for hours and has found her before. She called her parents to come pick her up and they showed up a few hours later. I made her lunch and we talked while my dog begged for pets from her, which I think helped her. She told me a bit about her story, and how her parents know he's abusive and that they want to help her get away from him. But she felt pretty weak towards him...
Her parents picked her up, and I just never told anyone. I felt like no one would ever believe me anyways. It was also quite a risk because I didn't know her and I'm disabled; she could've been bait for all I knew, but she definitely was not.
Not my secret but my old roommate was a teacher and had a lot of students with bad home lives, lived in their cars, had abusive parents, etc. She would take home students laundry and do it for them, buy groceries for them..stuff like that. Very not allowed but her kids were her life and she was such a salt of the earth good person
About 10 years ago in the summer I got a phone call and took a “really long run”. In fact I went and picked up a student who had run away the day before to escape conversion therapy. I took her to a trusted friend of theirs who had moved an hour away, who was going to move them even further. She had my number because that’s what a human would do.
Years ago my apartment manager lied to another apartment manager in order to get me an apartment at a different complex. She knew my ex was abusive and I needed an out.
Doing a good thing at times involves doing the “wrong thing”. You will never be forgotten in that mother’s heart or the son’s memory. You are the good needed in people.
You are my hero. Amazing. We all have moments to do something great in our life. I don't think my time has popped up yet. I love that yours did and you grasped this occasion to shine. Way to go, ROCK STAR!!!
Thank you so much for taking that massive risk and doing that. My mom had to do the same thing with her and me escaping from her second husband. Fortunately she knew how to do everything, otherwise we would have needed someone like you or it could have been really bad.
You did a really good thing and you obviously had a great rapport with your students and were very attentive if you knew what was going on with their personal lives like that.
What a great and brave thing you did. Those situations can be dangerous.
The fact that you kept it to yourself all this time is admirable, too. Total respect.
As a dyslexia specialist, parents would hire me to provide specific instruction in reading and spelling at their homes (I was not at a school then). Often, as the kids grew, I would transition into homework support and would provide accommodations at the private schools they attended. These kids became like my own, often spending 10+ hours a week at their homes.
I had lost a young cousin (16f) in a distracted driving automobile accident when I was in college, and it has always weighed on me. As my students began to get their driver’s licenses (I helped them study for the written portion), I made them promise me to always wear their seatbelts and no distraction driving.
I also told them that if they were ever in a situation where they couldn’t drive, or felt uncomfortable getting in someone’s car, they could call me, if not their parents. I promised them I would pick them up, no questions asked, and drop them off at home. In 30 years, two students have taken me up on the ride home. I have never told.
I love that you did this. I did something similar (I wasn’t a teacher yet). A female coworker was married to an absolute monster. She had no money, no car, no nothing. Anyway, she wanted to go home, with her daughter. So after work one night I drove her and her child to the airport (she had her passports). Gave her some money and a diaper bag and put her on a plane to Scotland. That was in 1989.
I love that you did that!
I'm a teacher. When I was a child my parents, who weren't married but in a common-in-law relationship, separated. My father got sole custody because he had the money. My mother who was Taiwanese moved back to Taiwan and shortly passed away. He abused the ever living shit out of me. I remember my grade 5 teacher wrongly accusing me of stealing chocolate from a charity. I begged her not to tell my dad. That vindictive witch did. My father put me in a dog kennel all summer. It is one of the reasons I don't EVER show any anger towards my students and do not tell the parents anything that could lead to their abuse in any shape or form. If I have to, I always talk to the student and their parents to see if they are abusive or not. Some teachers are just evil.
That's brutal, I'm so sorry you lived that. Love how you now are an awesome teacher in return. Could have gone down a dark path, but chose a different way.
The teacher that never told saved my life... The school social worker would call my mom about my emotional reactions and self harm. My mom would hurt me because I told. Then when I told that I hated her and she was mean, she told the school social worker I was born premature so she shouldn't trust anything out of my mouth
What the hell does being premature have to do with anything?!
It's a well known scientific fact that premature babies develop into adolescents with character defects, which make them prone to laziness, lying, and fornication. -Some 1800s quack nut job, probably
People think CPS has all this power but if you're not covered in bruises and your home is clean and you're fed no one is going to save you especially if you're 13+
Life pro tip. Cover yourself with bruises to get out of a DV situation.
My mom was reported on often from Kindergarten until 11th grade. They came to our house to do wellness checks. Even with a multitude of bruises and a dirty house, they did nothing.
Because I had a brain injury which caused CP you can't trust anything I was also raised by a woman who perpetrated DV so yeah she needed a cover
Off subject but I have a large dog kennel I won't put up on the road for the garbage bc I'm afraid some sicko will put their kid in it.
I'm sure your local animal shelter would love a donation. If they can't use it themselves, they can give it to the next person who rescues a large dog.
Agree with the other commenter. Donate it directly to a shelter/vet office/TNR group. Then you'll know it's being used as intended and you'll be helping out whoever you donate it to.
💔 I’m so sorry
My god, I am at a loss for words. I'm so incredibly sorry you had to go through such torture as a child! I'm not religious, but I hope hell finds that man one way or another.
Is he dead yet?
I stopped talking to him as soon as I turned 18. I went to the police told them that I want nothing to do with him and if he claims I am missing or something, please do not come looking for me. They fucked up once, I changed addresses, and never heard from him again. So, he might be dead. He tried to contact my friends and their family to get them to contact me so that I will return home. I told them that if they tell him where I live or even try to communicate anything from him to me, I will never speak to them again. I am in my 40s now. Never heard from him. I hope he is.
Sorry that happened to you. But there is good and bad in every profession. Most teachers are angels.
You are freaking amazing. You intuition helped save a life.
Same with me. Helped a very young neighbor escape an abusive druggy husband who literally nailed boards across her bedroom door. (Previously I had been hiding food for her on my porch, so if she went on a walk, she could eat something--he was also starving her.) I had to take off school twice to go to court with her after she escaped. We had good people/sources in our area that were beneficial to her success. She had no children in our school system; but would have done everything to help her anyway.
[удалено]
> I was invited to a party at one of my coworkers houses and I didn't like the guy period. Well after what my friend said about him beforehand and I didn't really know him so wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to though. Turns out he was a pos all around and probably was abusive towards his kids, too. Every time I saw him, I wanted to punch him, but of course there were kids around. I didnt like him straight away and he was probably abusive and I did nothing about it: really isnt a story worth bringing up in relation to the other stories people are sharing here.
Both you and OP are awesome. Kudos!!!
Thank you. ❤️🙏🏼
You are a hero
Thank you, but no, I’m not. I’m just trying to “walk my talk.” 🙏🏼
Not all heroes wear capes.
For those who’ve had to leave abuse, THANK YOU for getting “too involved.”
My own mother wouldn’t even help me. A wonderful man who has since passed did all he could for us. I think about him daily.
my mom went NC with me weeks before I moved 3000 miles across the country. my stepdad and I stayed in contact and he helped get us home a year later. my mom would have left me to starve.
After years of abuse, my stepfather’s therapist helped my mother get out. That was just from the conversations she had with HIM. I’m still grateful that she helped remove that poison from our family.
This is fascinating to me because the therapist could have faced repercussions, and in most every other circumstance, you don’t want your medical provider talking to your family without your consent. But what an incredible thing to do for your family. May I ask how she reached out to your mother and convinced her out? Does your mother still talk to her? I can’t get over how amazing she was to do that.
She suggested they do a couples therapy session. Somehow she got my mother alone and was able to set up a system for contact. I think she was agreeing with him and building his ego up so he wouldn’t question my mother seeing her alone. She coached my mom how to leave. Only my aunt knew because the rest of her family couldn’t be trusted. My mother unfortunately passed away from brain cancer five years ago. I’m not sure if she stayed in contact with the provider. I understand what a risk she took by helping her, and I think that ethically she made the right choice. She had to have been extremely good at what she did for my mother to finally listen and trust that she needed to leave for good.
Piggybacking on this higher comment to paste what I already commented below: this is not “too involved”. OP, you’re part of a culture that has normalized *not* getting involved in the things we KNOW we must act on. We’ve normalized pretending we don’t see ourselves in other people who are in need. We’ve normalized looking away instead of helping neighbors. This goes against our instincts — it is counter to our hardwired + programmed humanity.
I am a spec ed teacher, but when I was 16 my mom moved the man who physically & sexually assaulted me into our home. She bailed him out when he was arrested. I left & slept in a car I bought for $200. The principal at my school found out and he and his wife rented me a studio apartment. They paid for me to go to counseling & helped me get a job so I could afford food & basic necessities.
Tears are forming in my eyes. I'm so glad you got help.
I'm so sorry your mom did that. Such a horrendous betrayal. I'm so glad there were good people in your life that took action and helped. I hope you're doing well.
So glad for you!
I’m so happy that you got the help that you needed. I love special ed teachers. Thank you for all that you do.
I had a student who had run away from a her family, who was a known drug dealer with violent tendencies in the area. I received a call from another school employee that said she was on the highway and walking away from her house with her boyfriend. Both she and he were 18 at the time. My wife and I went and picked her and her boyfriend up and in talking with her prior to this day, we knew that the situation at home was terrible. The boyfriend had family in the next state, and the girl was comfortable going there, so we drove them over to his family’s house. Had she not been 18, we would not have done it. Police were called on us, and we discussed it with our administration after we returned home to let them know what we had done. Since they were 18, there was no recourse that could have been taken by the police, so no charges were filed and we stayed in education and moved out of that community after that year. The girl went on to marry her boyfriend and have a couple kids, living a successful life. Family she was with were involved in many drug offenses and leading police on a high speed chase and are still in prison. I feel that we gave her a shot at a successful life, even if it could have cost us our careers. Worth it!
I wish more people were as brave as you.
It was scary as hell at the time.
I can appreciate that. I knew the father would have no problem entering the school to come after me. I'm 5'4", he was over 6' , and I worked in a classroom not attached to the main building, so it was a concern.
Thank you for taking the time to plan and help this family. Unfortunately CPS can only do so much and we are asked to step into the ‘line of fire’ (please pardon the pun) to help people out. You are amazing!
Yeah, unfortunately we can't do anything for parental abuse like we can for kids in terms of reporting.
This happened when certain kids in my grade ran away. Fled two states over to Oregon. Even kids who barely knew them knew and we all kept quiet because we knew how their family was. It's a small town.
Such a shame that laws and organizational policies strip out so much context and conditions to pigeon-hole situations into specific boxes of rights V. wrong. I mean this from both sides of narratives. I’m a veteran with multiple combat tours, I’ve seen friends go through hard times mentally and emotionally due to reintegration struggles and PTSD, recover and grow from it but have lasting setbacks from criminal charges. Criminal charges resulting from a system that created their issues, pretends to help, then uses ill-fitting corrective measures. I’ve witnessed along your perspective too. A close friend of mine was in a bad spot, terrible mom who abandoned him while she couch surfed through sex, drugs, and rock n roll with various men. My friend was in a rough place and really only came to school for free breakfast and lunch. Got caught by the school liaison officer with a backpack full of drugs and instead of doing the job he was employed to do, the officer listened, understood, mentored him. The officer was paying rent and utilities at their apartment so my friend wouldn’t get evicted, as well as bought him food and clothes. Eventually the officer adopted my friend, this was about 15 years ago. His life path of likely replicating a vicious cycle was abruptly stopped by violating laws, school & department policies. He has a good career and a great, healthy family and lives 2 blocks away from his dad, the retired police officer. I know the framework exists for a reason, the school liaison officer could’ve just as easily been grooming my friend, I can only imagine the perception if he was a 14-15 year old girl at the time. The lines of the 3 circle Venn diagram of Altruism, Misguided Good Deeds, and ill-intent can be blurry but more should be done to navigate nuance and understand and tailor responses. The organic and complex nature of humans cannot fit into legalistic, black & white spreadsheets.
God bless you!
Thank you, every story I read here makes me so grateful that people like you exist!
>I know my school board would have told me to stay out of it... Which is further confirmation that you did the right thing. Mark Twain was right about school boards.
Mark Twain is right about politicians and government too. "Diapers are like politicians and should be changed often, for the same reason." "Love your country always, and support your government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain has a quote/passage about school boards?!?!?!!!!
I'm waiting for that quote. Don't make me google it.
I googled it: “In the first place God made idiots. This was practice. Then he made school boards.”
😂
I am using this at the next school board meeting when they bring up banning books again.
Mark Twain commented on everything lol
Mark Twain heard "stay in your own lane" and responded "what lane"
He was kinda the hot take guy of the time.
Well often enough he was right. What scares me is that he was pretty chill with black folks for his time but if you read with what absolute hatred he writes about native Americans its terrifying.
It’s easier to count the things Mark Twain *doesn’t* have a quote for.
When my daughter was in 7th grade, I drove a school friend of hers home after an evening chorus concert. The school friend was also my current student. When we pulled in the driveway, her mom and little brother who was a little younger than two years old were outside on the porch. Mom came to my car and said that stepdad was drunk and angry and had locked them out of the house. Her purse and all her belongings were in the house. I didn’t know what to do so I told them they could all spend the night at my house, got them in the car and they spent the night in my guest room. When we got to my house, mom called her sister from the house phone and the sister picked them all up the next morning. The next day, my student withdrew from school bc she, mom and brother went to live with auntie in another city. This was in the days before cell phones and social media were so prevalent. I think about my former student and hope they’re all ok
I'm sure they appreciate what you did even if they couldn't come back and thank you.
Oh absolutely!! That night on the way to my house and when I was getting sheets on the guest room beds and in morning when I left for work, mom was extremely thankful for my help and said thank you multiple times. I never told anyone bc it was my first year at the school and I knew I would probably get in trouble for crossing the line.
It's sad that we have to hide instead of getting support from our schools. Good job.
This makes me want to shout out a few folks from my rough childhood who I will probably never be able to find: - people who picked us up when our shitty cars broke down on the freeway - church group that brought us Christmas presents one year - whoever paid for the plane ticket so I could go on a class trip to Washington, D.C.
We have a show choir at our school and every year, I pay for a student to be able to go on their trip to Universal Studios in Florida. I can tell you without a doubt that it gives me such great joy to do it.
Wow. Good for you ❤️
I, too, am a retired teacher! I taught 8th graders and one year, I won a $100 gift certificate to a local mall right before Christmas. I had the counselor give it to one of my students who was in foster care and had been having a really hard time with her new parents. The counselor told her she had won a contest at school and gave her the certificate. The counselor later told me she was ecstatic because she wasn’t sure she was going to get anything for Christmas. This was in the early 2000s, so it was a good gift. It still makes me smile to this day. I never told anyone!
It's sad that we have to hide our good deeds. I bet she still remembers it.
It is. But I know I made a difference that day!
How sweet of you! The fact that you guys told her she 'won' it, rather than giving her a 'pity gift' allowed her to spend it freely without feeling any guilt, shame etc.. 🥰
I'm not crying, it's just dusty in here.
One of my coworkers who is a cool younger male teacher and basketball coach always “accidentally” buys the wrong size shoes. It just so happens they fit most of the kids who want to play sports, but maybe don’t have the funds to have the right gear. He thanks them profusely for getting them off his hands. It makes me smile every time.
I love that so much!
We had a very poor and poorly parented student who’d worked and scraped together enough money to go on a high school trip in another state with no help and with her family actively trying to get money from her. I saw a colleague shopping in a nearby town and it turned out she was shopping with the girl, buying wardrobe basics as she’d tried to pull out of the trip on realising she didn’t have any suitable clothes. She wasn’t after fancy, just something acceptable, underwear, a shirt, jumper, pants, a basic wardrobe to be sure. I gave my colleague a sum of cash to help out and asked her not to mention it to anyone. This girl is in her late 20s now and has made it out of our town and escaped the fate of her family. I like to think that our combined efforts gave her some hope and helped her on her journey, although surely, most of the credit goes to the girl herself.
Absolutely it does. We all need to be seen.
Called a parent and told them to threaten to press charges or better yet, actually press charges against the student who sexually assaulted their daughter!! They just wanted to suspend him for three days and keep him in the same PE and lunch period!!! If they had found out I’m the one who pushed mom to demand a harsher consequence, I probably would have been reprimanded. This was upper elementary so they were trying to be more like “boys are boys” but hell no
Wow. That's disgusting. I'd have been right there with you. But I'd have yelled at them, but that's me. Good job keeping your kids safe! I had to get a high school student get kicked out for something similar (my students would still contact me after they graduated). It took me and the principal all summer before we found the female detective responsible. I had to contact her supervisor. Her response was to tell me not to contact her supervisor. I told her to do her fucking job. And she was forced to. But that's another story.
You're a badass.
My mom did that when I'd complain about boys messing with me and it still pisses me off. It never escalated like this, but still. At one point, my other classmates and I had to go to this other classroom when he had a meltdown before. Older kid me would've punched him, but elementary kid me was nonconfrontational.
I’m so sorry! Well, I am very big on CONSENT. I do push for students to tell a person to STOP before coming to me… bc you know kids can rattle alottt. But unwanted touching in your no no square is an automatic straight to teacher. But I tell the kids, if they someone is bothering them, and they ask them to stop, and they continue… to tell me and there will be HELL TO PAY. Because no means no.
Yea, they didn't touch me, though. I did eventually tell him that I didn't want that game anymore where he would chase after me and he said it's not a game. 3rd grader me didn't know what to say.
I had to deal with a SA situation done to my daughter in the first few weeks of kindergarten and I still to this day can’t believe they didn’t want to deal with it AT ALL. The principal was shocked I wanted her moved at least to a new class. He said ONLY because it was the beginning of the year would he allow that. I wish I would have punched him.
😳
I believe there’s a rule in Australia that if a teachers sees abuse, by law they have to report it. I’m not a teacher, maybe another Aussie can confirm?
Yeah mandatory reporters, same as nursers and doctors and paramedics I think
It's the same in America
Thank you. Unfortunately, I have a story from the opposite side. I had to attend the funeral of a parent who didn’t get out. Her sons were sent to relatives in another country- a place they had never lived in, with people they didn’t know. Thank you again.
That almost happened, but it was a friend and former classmate of mine. Her dog saved her that night. When he gets out, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't really say what I want to do, not that I will act on it.
I’m so sorry to read this.
It was 30+ years ago but the memory of those boys hugging me and sobbing at the viewing is burned in my brain.
No doubt. 💔
Good for you! My secret is that I notified the police of the new address of a family fleeing from a CPS investigation. No regrets.
Wtg! I would’ve done the same.
As a teacher in the US wouldn't you be protected/compelled by "mandatory reporter" rules anyway? Like "I know this kid and their address and have reason to suspect there's abuse going on, so I have to make a report to CPS."
Nope.
Booo, that sucks. Good on you for doing it anyway!
My school (work, not one I was enrolled in) has a counselor that housed four student siblings for the remaining month of the year before CPS moved them into another guardian’s house where they’d have to attend a different school. She housed them so they could finish the year with their friends and everything and I admire her a whole lot.
Wow. This put a smile on my face.
She deserves so much. I want to nominate her to receive something but idk what or how. She deserves so. Much.
Not me, but my mom is also a teacher. When I was a kid these two kids, one of whom was in her class, came and spent the night at our house. I just thought awesome sleepover, but when I got older she told me the real reason. They were living with their mom’s abusive boyfriend and the mom was ready to leave. She confided in my mom and so my mom took the kids for the night while their mom got out of there. Both of the kids are grown up now and living really good lives. I have a ton more stories of things like this my mom has done for families throughout her career. She’s an amazing woman.
Yes, yes she is ❤️
I let a homeless student live with me for four weeks so she could graduate with her classmates. The mother lost her job; had to move out of state and the girl (18) lived with me in my apartment. Totally unethical at the time I realize now. But it was my second year of teaching and I a 24M didn’t think anything of it. This girl was very intelligent and had been in three of my classes. She told me her mom lost her job and had to move out of state, and off the cuff I said well you can just stay with me. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah sure. She went home; talked to mom. Her mom called and we talked it over. Two days later I have a student living with me. She stayed four weeks, graduated on a Friday, moved out and went with her mom right after graduation. Prior to this, I was told I wasn’t going to be rehired so that they could hire the next head football coach. I figured I couldn’t get in trouble; they already told me I wasn’t coming back. Would I do it again? Probably.
😬 I understand your generous impulse here, but as a 24 year old male teacher, this was enormously risky to your future, and not just as a teacher.
I agree 100%. If the school/district hadn’t already told me I wasn’t being rehired, and I hadn’t already secured a new teaching position prior to offering the student a place to stay I may have made a different decision. But those two factors being taken care of already I figured it didn’t matter. The current district had already not rehired me and I had a new job waiting in August.
Amazing. Good for you ❤️
Man... I upvoted this and am grateful it worked out for you. It could have been bad. I realize you felt like you knew her and the mom approved etc., but this could have gone so badly wrong.
I had a teacher in high school do something similar for me. It wasn't as bad as your student's situation, but, for me, the teacher had seen the mounting signs of abuse and neglect and always offered to help if she could - a ride home, a place to study in her classroom after classes, extra lunch she would pack, etc. Finally, about 2 months before I was set to graduate, I was kicked out and planning to leave the state to stay with friends, meaning I would have to drop out. She offered to let me stay with her until the fall when I would go to college so I could graduate on time. I ended up working something out with the school that allowed me to finish my year in a kind of independent study and submit some final exams by mail so I could still get my diploma on time. Now, decades later, I still can't believe how kind and generous she was for me, some kid out of hundreds if not thousands she had over the years. She's the first person I think about whenever I need to remember to have faith in humanity.
I will always push my parents to advocate for their students with admin (relentlessly). Me complaining to admin about a bully in my class won’t make a difference, but a pissed off parent up my admin’s ass can and will lead to change.
Preach!
I worked as a case manager for people in unstable housing situations. My client was extremely lonely and had agoraphobia she desperately just wanted a pet. I went on Craigslist and someone was giving away their cat. I turn up to a methhouse and the cat is in seriously rough shape, clumps of fur missing and barely any teeth. Well, I take the poor baby to my client and she told me it wasn't going to work out. I shrugged and decided I would keep the cat myself, BUT my other client who knew about the cat told me she wanted it, and it was her new best friend she loved the cat and she told me it got her thru this really hard time. The kitty and her formed a beautiful relationship. So although it was bad boundaries and put me on extremely thin ice at my job, I have zero regrets
Thank you. 💗
[удалено]
I bet that young mom was super thankful, and maybe more so as she got older! I was a teen mom, but in ancient times, before most people had anything other than flip phones, and even still, the people in our economic standing didn't even have those for another several years. I had an old basic camera, but the film was too expensive to buy and/or develop for me at the time. Every photo I have of my baby (except 1 professional photo my mom gifted me) was from someone else's camera and them developing the film. Several of these I blew up and frames later in life, but I would have had no photos from 0-6 months if not for family and friends with cameras!
That’s a simple kindness that she will remember for the rest of her life.
Yeah. But I'm keeping mine for a while more.
Sometimes it is like that.
A co-worker and I helped a student who was being abused by their parent, get out of the house. We put her in contact with a social worker and the student was able to get her a place to live. She was less than 2 months from turning 18 and CPS said nothing could be done because she would be 18 before CPS would be able to do anything.
Bless you. Yes in some cases it would have been “too much”. In some cases with the wrong people it would have exposed you to risk. But you saw a situation in which you could help, and you did. I believe that if it were a different person and a different situation, you would have had the sense to know if it was right for you to be involved. You saw a situation where you could help and you did. I thank you for that and it’s so amazing that you got some closure from it. You are a gem. Thank you. As an abuse survivor, thank you.
A wonderful elderly head cook at our elementary school used to carefully pack leftover food for a couple of our needy kids and each weekend their backpacks fed them and their other siblings for the weekend. She was caught by the head of the food service and received a written reprimand that she would be terminated if she did it again. That very Friday, new, bigger, backpacks were filled and on the backs of those children. (But they had to pick them up in my room). She and I kept this secret until she retired and I moved schools. Four years she/we did this! Dianne you were an angel then and I am sure, you are a real one now. 😇
I really hate any place that would rather throw food away instead of feeding people with it. When I was a teen,I worked at a pizza place. If we had pizza that didn't get picked up, or was made with the wrong toppings, we'd leave it by the back door. It was always gone within 30 minutes because homeless people knew to check. And the teens from bad homes that hung out at the park nearby. Anyway, management changed and new manager made us open the boxes and throw it in the dumpster. Then installed a locked cage around the dumpster. I quit shortly after.
I have been hiding little resin figures all around my school this year and so far only two people have figured out that is me. It has now created copycats and it is driving people crazy (in a good way). My plan is to subtly reveal myself at graduation if I don’t get caught beforehand..
When I was a junior in high school I hid tiny pictures of nick cage all over the campus in hard to reach places. I don’t know why I decided to do it but I told nobody. It really caught on and I started also printing out a small link to a file other people could print out. The next year people had started putting little pictures of cabbages up. Apparently some of my little cages are still up over a decade later and to this day nobody knows it was me. Sorry, custodians.
The cabbage hiding effort was noble indeed
A student came to speak to me about something in my office after our child developmental psych class. She said she was pregnant, that she was surprised because she was told she’d never be able to have kids, that her bf wanted an abortion, her mom wanted her to keep it - I asked what she wanted. She seemed surprised and like she hadn’t considered it before, like no one had previously cared what she wanted. The look on her face was quite telling, she wanted it. I told her if she wanted to be a Mom and was given the opportunity, it was her choice to make. If she didn’t want to, that was her choice to make too. It was her choice, not her bfs not her Mom. It was her body, the baby was half of her, it it was all her choice. She left quite happy and subsequently withdrew from my class. I’ve never seen her again but I sure hope she got to do whatever she truly wanted. Ive hoped she withdrew to take care of herself and her baby, but I’ll never know. I think of her at least once a year.
I've been teaching for 17 years. Around year 5-6 I was teaching AP world history and met a student who could have easily been a younger sister to me. We looked alike and had a very similar personality. We held a yard sale at school and she bought one of my old college sweatshirts to wear for good luck during the exam. During her senior year a lot changed. She was involved in everything (NHS president, all AP classes, applying to very selective colleges, doing Model UN) and her perfectionism turned into an eating disorder. I had been through the exact same thing so I recognized what was going on. Her mom wasn't taking it seriously and didn't want the "shame" of her daughter having some sort of problem. Finally I had to convince the school nurse, counselor, and principal to meet with mom bc she was losing so much weight. Mom agreed to put her in an inpatient treatment facility. I visited my student several times a week and helped her get caught up on her school work, made sure her college applications were prepared, requested letters of rec from her other teachers, etc. She still struggled and had some not awesome boyfriends, but once she got to college (American University in DC) she thrived. She went to grad school in London and goes to Afghanistan and other places regularly for work. I was in NYC this past summer and spent a day with her catching up. I don't regret getting this involved, but it took a lot out of me, like emotional energy bc I constantly worried about her and had to watch her like a hawk to make sure she ate. It was the right thing to do, but I haven't allowed myself to get that close again.
❤️
“I got too involved” No! You’re part of a culture that has normalized *not* getting involved in the things we KNOW we must act on. We’ve normalized pretending we don’t see ourselves in other people who are in need. We’ve normalized looking away instead of helping neighbors. This goes against our instincts — it is counter to our hardwired + programmed humanity. You did great. Was it risky, physically? Yep. You know what else is risky, spiritually/mentally? Living the rest of your life doubting your own humanity and/or goodness because you could have helped someone survive that one time but you didn’t even try. Thank you. Thank you so much for your actions and for sharing here.
Our house growing up was a safe place for abused women and their kids. My mom dared the men to try and come to the house. I have some great friends from those broken homes. My mom was God sent to most of those women and kids. You did a great thing,
Teared up reading that. You’re the best!
Thank you
Fucking Hero. Good job, teach!
I told an 8th grade girl where to go to get birth control pills without her parents knowing about it. She had asked her mother to take her to the doctor for them, and her mother screamed at her and told her there was NO WAY she (the girl) was going to have sex before she got married. I even asked our school counselor if I could give this girl the information she was seeking, and the counselor told me to stay out of it. This was in the pre-internet days, where finding out about Planned Parenthood needed at least library access or the knowledge that it even existed.
Since I am still teaching- all I will say is - saved a young adult from a really bad situation. Ask me again in 25 years.
My mom kidnapped a student and her infant son to get them to a safe location, away from the student's abuser. (This was in the 80s.) We were lucky enough to reconnect with the student in 2015. Because of my mom's actions, that student got to live a full life free of the abuse that would have killed her - she is a mom many times over, a grandmother now, a pastor, and an advocate for women in her community. My mom risked losing her job, jail time, and me being taken away (I was in the car during the events), to save a life. I am grateful for her principal who never reported that day.
>Anyone else got a secret yes >to share? Absolutely not. Nice try.
>Absolutely not. Nice try. I'm definitely keeping mine (and the ones that I have been entrusted with) until after I retire.
Ur a wonderful human i hope u know that
Schools need an actual 'Lean On Me' teacher. I appreciate this good deed.
College level. Colleague and I were talking about anime and cosplay after class when one of my students comes up to join in. She’s just getting into cosplay and is in her first year. Very sweet girl. Learn in that same convo that her mom is going to kick her out of the house next week because she found out she’s bisexual. Since that was essentially me in Highschool—cept my mom sent me to an all-boy’s military boarding school—I did everything in my power to help her. Even after my boss warned me not to, saying: “Subjug, I get you want to help. I love that you want to help. But, please, just be careful. The extent of your help should just be pointing her to the departments on campus that exist to help students like her in these situations. Don’t get personally involved. You never know how many crazy bitches are out there looking to ruin a career.” (This coming from an older woman I considered my academic “mother”, who most everyone looked up to and respected on campus; so needless to say I was a bit flabbergasted. Didn’t stop me, though.) Long story short: the sister of a friend of mine needed a housemate, and we all worked together to move the student out and get settled. Even helped her find a job as a student secretary at my college so she could afford moving out. Never told my boss and always made sure to work through proxies—friends of mine and their friends—to get her what she needed.
I needed a teacher like you. It didn't happen. Thank you for doing this for them.
This breaks my heart. Truly.
That's meaningful, honestly. Therapy helps, but knowing that there are really people out there who risk a lot to do the right thing helps a lot too. It didn't happen for me and my siblings (and teachers knew!) but it's happening for these kids, and that's a world I'm glad to be a part of. Really - anyone moved to do anything like this has my unending gratitude.
People like you saved my mom from her horrific parents. Thank you for saving lives!!
I know many of us have reported child abuse w/o putting our names on the report. I had to explain in teachers meetings that if you don’t report it and you know it is going on then you are an accessory to the fact and can be arrested too. That you should not put your name on the report because the perpetrator can pull the records later to see who made the report. I did not tell them how I knew these things. If you see something say something. And I always worried about the kids under the radar that are good at hiding what is going on. One little girl had been abused by an uncle. Another was chained to his bed at home. He always wore long sleeves and pants. It covered the bruises. Another was made to sleep in the garage on a cot. Given a can opener and canned food to eat. Nothing cooked. He acted out badly in school. There was a reason he was that way. Another was unkept. Bushy hair. Didn’t bath or brush his teeth. The kids made fun of him. One day when he was not in class I told them to knock it off because not all kids have parents that take care of them. A boy in class went over to his house to ask him to play. He had no toys. He had no furniture in his room. He slept on the floor with a blanket and pillow. And another boy had intricate marker drawings all over his back and down on his bottom. The other boys saw it in the rest room. I asked him about it and he said his parents and friends got high and put him on the kitchen table and drew pictures all over the back of his naked body all night long. And the list goes on and on. Those are some of the ones I knew about. And yes there were times when admin interfered with things getting reported. Report it anyway. Like the park in the neighborhood where parents let their 5th and 6th grade girls go hang out and play unsupervised. High school guys came there to take advantage of them. It was off campus so I was told not to report it. Some of the girls became pregnant the next year. In 7th grade.
Well done for doing this. You saved that woman's life, and possibly the child's as well. My mum was a teacher (now retired). I don't think she has any stories as wild as yours - not that she's divulged anyway - but I remember her getting "too involved" with a particular situation. One of her students was constantly either very late or didn't show up at all. There were other warning signs that I'm not privy to, but one morning my mum put her assistant in charge of the class (just to and from morning assembly) and my mum took a walk up to the child's house. Once she got there she saw the kid through the window, sitting in his school uniform in front of the tv. No sign of his mum. Long story short, it turned out the mum had severe depression and separation anxiety. When my mum knocked on the door she was asleep in bed. My mum helped talk her into getting some counselling and worked out a phased "back-to-school" schedule. Some days the child would attend for a morning, some days he'd be in in the afternoon, until finally he was back in school full time. I'm not sure what happened to the family, but I know my mum ended up taking early retirement when a new (bully) headmistress came in, citing this incident as evidence of my mothers "insubordination". I'm so proud of my mum, and all teachers who go above and beyond for their students.
This just gave me full body chills. Bless you for your good deed. What a powerful, life changing thing you did for this mother and son. This story restored any and all faith that I lost in humanity today. Sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗
Bless you for helping that family.
I love this for you 💜 when I was very small we had a teenage neighbor. A few years later we moved and she contacted my mother. She had gotten married and had two small children extremely young and needed help getting away from her abusive husband. My mom put her and her children in our house for a time (a HUGE risk because my dad was very verbally abusive himself and outwardly was gracious but she had to take a LOT of shit from him for it), got them to a women’s shelter, and visited her to get her settled. My mom could have done a lot of things better in my childhood, but she is always and forever will be my hero because she always did and gave absolutely ALL that she could with what little she was given herself.
I'm a domestic violence therapist at a shelter. You are a hero, I am so proud of and so thankful for you and others like you. Thank you ❤️
Thank you for being a helper! You make the world a better place
I wish that the people who ran the world were more like you.
Thank you. Not going to use any of the old "not all heros wear capes" style tropes (tho you most definitely deserve them all) I will say though that if I'm ever met with someone in such need, that I'm strong enough to help and to keep generations of people safe when they need it most You're a genuine inspiration
I’m a district superintendent and I can honestly say that if you did this in my district I would have put you up for teacher of the year. I would have also donated money. Good for you, you are a wonderful example of a teacher
When I was in high school (16~ish), I had a female friend whose mother punished her by withholding food. The levels of neglect were insane. She was less than one hundred pounds at 18 years old and had never seen a dentist in her entire life. When her mom would buy a steak for herself, she would give her daughter a can of green beans for supper. (She never had a steak until she moved out of their house). When she had a bad cut from working in the family garden get infected, her mother told her to pray about it and never took her to the doctor. The school nurse had to get involved for her to get any medical care. Her parents were also hoarders, and the living conditions were terrible. The church community they were a part of protected the parents from any form of retribution when CPS was called, passing her around their members until they could hand her right back to her mother. She wasn't allowed to have friends or do any after-school activities unless they involved the church. She was even going to be kept from going to college. Her music teacher knew all about the situation and helped the girl, who had a beautiful singing voice, get a choir scholarship for college against the parents' wishes. The girl didn't have a way to move out and get to the college dorms, so the music teacher asked me (kid with a big pickup truck) to help move the girl to her new college. I, of course, said yes, and the music teacher and I showed up while the parents were supposed to be gone. The parents didn't even know the girl had been accepted, and she was just going to not be there when they came home. Mom showed up and smacked the girl with a lamp. The music teacher, (70~ish year old woman) hit the mom (250 lbs moose of a human) with her car door. Mom gave up and went inside, called the daughter everything but a nice person, and threw the rest of her stuff in the street. We finished loading up my truck, and Dad showed up, then tried to pull his daughter (18 years old) out out of my truck. I slammed his arm in the door a few times, and he gave up. Dad called the police, the mom was arrested for assaulting the daughter with a lamp, and the dad was arrested for trying to assault the police officer who arrested his wife. The girl and I have now been married for over twenty years, have three beautiful daughters, and we only speak to her family about once every five years or so. The music teacher was a beautiful woman who helped my wife like a grandmother through her college life, and we kept in contact until she passed a decade ago. We later found out that music teacher had done similar things for many kids throughout the years, and was somewhat infamous for being a sparkplug of a woman. In the '90s, she once hit an abusive father in the head with a frying pan hard enough to put him in a coma when he came to her house after she had called the cops after seeing bruises on her student. Absolute legend of a woman.
It's people like you who give me hope for humanity.
Saving a life or two isn't too involved. It's the right amount of involved.
I am not a teacher but I am dating one. I follow this subreddit so that I can understand her more I guess. I have been so lucky to have wonderful teachers in my life, and now I have another one. I just want to say that I think you are amazing. We are all lucky to have people in our lives who truly care for others.
Good for you. That’s a great highlight. I did the same when I was a second year teacher. My parents helped with money. I don’t consider it a secret, though no one except my parents knew. It’s what I was raised to do. My parents always had people turning up at their door. Mom still gets flowers every year on Mother’s Day from some lady I don’t even know who is a few years older than me. Oh I could name a dozen people who think they belong to our family but don’t. Religious upbringing here. They walked the walk.
Edited to add: both my parents talked of people who helped them at their own low points. The first time I heard the expression “pay it forward” I understood exactly that is what my folks did.
This post is bringing tears to my eyes. My mother taught for 30 years and in many occasions had to get too involved. Thank God my dad was friends and high school classmates with a man who went on to be the superintendent and Mayor. Mom had a wonderful partner in crime, my dad and between the two of them and the superintendent/mayor connections she was able to get too involved for her students when needed, with back up!!! Thanks to all the teachers who are our silent heroes, may God continue to bless, protect and keep you! You are seen, you are needed!!!!
Jesus, this brought tears to my eyes. Good on ya.
Im glad I found this corner of reddit.
You’re a beautiful person. Thank you so much for sharing.
It's people like you that keep a child from witnessing years of yelling and screaming, physical and verbal abuse along with years of emotional and mental trauma from seeing and hearing their mother or father being a literal punching bag for the other partner. It's God sent people like you that ward off a son or daughter burying their mother/ father and resenting the aggressor, growing up with all that trauma witnessed and the tense environment it creates paired and possibly stopping the children from being successful in a career or a healthy relationship or living a fulfilling life. I see no problem with what you did. Could it have been a conflict within professional relations regarding conduct between educator and student, maybe, I'm not in a union or an expert of law. I am however someone who has witnessed all that negativity and saw/ heard my parents fighting, what seems like, everyday until finally they sought professional help. With that said, thank you for what you have done. To that person and her child/ family you're an absolute godsend and angel. Need more people like you, who're willing to invest not only monetarily but your time and energy, your emotions and genuine concern and care. Good work.
This is why we love teachers. My mom put socks, underwear and food in kids backpacks when she found them lacking, always did it anon so as not to embarrass or get in trouble.
Chills reading this…. Someone did this for me and and babies 15 years ago. We are here today because of some kind women who stood for and hid us for years. Angels truly, Heroes infact. Thank you, thank you THANK YOU!!!
I'm not a teacher, but this community pops up on my front page every so often. Thank you so much. As a kid, I was put into foster care, partially because of my mom's abusive partner. Rather than getting support, some of my teachers stopped talking to me entirely, including my kindergarten teacher. It made the whole situation so much harder because there was abuse going on at home and then I was put into a stranger's home and then half of the teachers that knew what happened pretended I didn't exist. Your support changed their lives so much. I'm sure based on that alone you were a good teacher to all of your students, but so many people just let abused women and children suffer. You saved two lives, not just literally, but figuratively too.
Thank you
You are a good human.
I was your student in a similar situation. I would have thanked you for the rest of my life for this. Thank you.
This is Amazing! I'm glad you helped them! You're an Angel.
Some teachers are heroes, you're one of them. That's such a big act of kindness from you 👏🙏
I'm so glad there are teachers out there who care so much for their students. Growing up my home was so dysfunctional. I can look back on it now realizing my mom is a narcissist that drove the situation. But when I was younger she convinced me and my brother that it was all my father. Yeah these days I realize it was both of them but she would drag me and my brother out of the house in the middle of the night after starting a screaming match. We would sleep in the car or a tent. I still remember one time we stayed in an abandoned trailer for a week. I woke up in the morning with no lights and would get dressed for high school in the dark. I never let on with what was happening and my school work suffered horribly. I'm sure though that my Col in JROTC has a good idea what was going on. He would let me sit in the side classroom and do homework during his class. Teachers who care are the most amazing souls.
That's incredible, this makes me so happy you were able to help! This might not get seen, but I once was out for a walk with my dog at our apartment complex. A young lady was rushing between the buildings hysterical, and I saw her twice before I realized something was up. No one was out there at that hour, so I was the only one who saw her. She ran up to me saying "he" was going to get her and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want me to call the police because that would put her in more danger. Me and my dog took her straight to our apartment, closed all the blinds, and had stun guns ready. Apparently when her boyfriend looks for her, he searches for hours and has found her before. She called her parents to come pick her up and they showed up a few hours later. I made her lunch and we talked while my dog begged for pets from her, which I think helped her. She told me a bit about her story, and how her parents know he's abusive and that they want to help her get away from him. But she felt pretty weak towards him... Her parents picked her up, and I just never told anyone. I felt like no one would ever believe me anyways. It was also quite a risk because I didn't know her and I'm disabled; she could've been bait for all I knew, but she definitely was not.
Not my secret but my old roommate was a teacher and had a lot of students with bad home lives, lived in their cars, had abusive parents, etc. She would take home students laundry and do it for them, buy groceries for them..stuff like that. Very not allowed but her kids were her life and she was such a salt of the earth good person
About 10 years ago in the summer I got a phone call and took a “really long run”. In fact I went and picked up a student who had run away the day before to escape conversion therapy. I took her to a trusted friend of theirs who had moved an hour away, who was going to move them even further. She had my number because that’s what a human would do.
Years ago my apartment manager lied to another apartment manager in order to get me an apartment at a different complex. She knew my ex was abusive and I needed an out. Doing a good thing at times involves doing the “wrong thing”. You will never be forgotten in that mother’s heart or the son’s memory. You are the good needed in people.
😇
You're a good person.
You are my hero. Amazing. We all have moments to do something great in our life. I don't think my time has popped up yet. I love that yours did and you grasped this occasion to shine. Way to go, ROCK STAR!!!
You’re an angel.
Eh this what the people need. Teachers that try.
Quite literally heroic of you. I’m sure that mother thanks your involvement every day.
Bless you. Great teacher are truly some of the best people
bless you for this.
I feel like maybe 5% of humanity does the heavy lifting for the rest, you're one of that amazing 5%, OP.
Thank you so much for taking that massive risk and doing that. My mom had to do the same thing with her and me escaping from her second husband. Fortunately she knew how to do everything, otherwise we would have needed someone like you or it could have been really bad. You did a really good thing and you obviously had a great rapport with your students and were very attentive if you knew what was going on with their personal lives like that.
I love this story. So many of us do real work in our schools and have to take it to the grave. You certainly changed lives.
What a great and brave thing you did. Those situations can be dangerous. The fact that you kept it to yourself all this time is admirable, too. Total respect.
You did the right thing.
Not all hero’s wear capes!
May I be “her” for someone. You’re a bad ass.
This just gives me chills! If it wasn't for her son being in your classroom. You are a beautiful person for doing this.
As a dyslexia specialist, parents would hire me to provide specific instruction in reading and spelling at their homes (I was not at a school then). Often, as the kids grew, I would transition into homework support and would provide accommodations at the private schools they attended. These kids became like my own, often spending 10+ hours a week at their homes. I had lost a young cousin (16f) in a distracted driving automobile accident when I was in college, and it has always weighed on me. As my students began to get their driver’s licenses (I helped them study for the written portion), I made them promise me to always wear their seatbelts and no distraction driving. I also told them that if they were ever in a situation where they couldn’t drive, or felt uncomfortable getting in someone’s car, they could call me, if not their parents. I promised them I would pick them up, no questions asked, and drop them off at home. In 30 years, two students have taken me up on the ride home. I have never told.