On the plus side at least I’ll know the match up 😂😂

Bro may get absolutely demolished but atleast he knows his fate lmao

"TODOME DA ! URYA !"

*ducks to block hellsweep* My twig arms are spaghetti

Honestly i think that just achieving to weave or block one of Kazuya's attack as a normal person would atleast get you a modicum of acknowledgement from him. Hell probably you get hired into his personal army (refusal ain't an option)

I hope he makes me Nina's ~~slave~~ assistant

Same

You will see me teary eyed and in awe like Todo admiring the way I’m getting my ass whooped all marvelous and shit

Atleast your Death will be one hell of a show

It'd be excellent!

It’s a good thing wrestling’s fake, right? … Right?

*King i n t e n s i f i e d*

Boy you're bout to learn how respectful tastes like.

Oh no, its not fake. Just choreographed. King is still going to giant swing you, its on you to know how to land

Those lifelong injuries wrestlers get certainly are real

It's all fun and games until he starts shoot chopping you.

Wrestling is fake, but the fireballs and beer are real.

Those legs aren't so scary

I'd be scary of ANY legs Big or small because you KNOW theres gonna be hella power packed into it


I see Bill, I upvote

I could literally give LAW a dollar and he might consider extorting me instead of fighting me.

https://preview.redd.it/r4bfc16anduc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4eedf93c3bc5b5e4490ec5613b64cf6482f22999

Law would whoop my ass 😂

law would take all of my money then dragon uppercut me into oblivion

Very. Because mine has a sword (Yoshimitsu).

well atleast you can say you died at the hands of a mechanized space ninja, i know i'd be jealous lmao

Well Viktor has 2 knives, a sword and a gun, plus teleportation abilities. I can only hope his French side takes over and he surrenders.

Oof! Low blow! 🤣

Just hope he uses a double harakiri first 😆

Bryan is a psychopathic tornado of destruction so very

One intimidating look in my direction and im waving the white flag, bros casually chucking mini-guns thats how you KNOW he means bussiness

That white flag ain't gonna mean anything

How do I disconnect from real life

im horny

First thing i thought

How am i supposed to fight when im full mast?

"Firmly grasp it."

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT

I mean, you can only get so erect

You must not be familiar with my craft

As am I

🤝

Kuma is so wholesome he wont hurt someone much weaker than him. He‘ll even teach me kuma shinken.

Pop out the salmon and you've got yourself one good time with one Good boi

He's a Mishima though, gotta survive that cliff to see if you're worthy.

Fighting a bear was never good idea, fighting a bear that knows karate is the WORST idea

If he’s not in heat I know his shadow clones leave him -14 im cookin him

Hilarious response but the man is a ninja ASSASSIN secret agent. They don't even touch the field without being taught how to fight.

Oh yeah I’m for sure witnessing the results of his training

Lars is nice. He'll call an ambulance for me.

Im gonna get multiple devils driven out of me.

 with the way he is rn, I m sure I can beat him

never underestimate the Old and drippy

Nah, I'm goin put with nothing to show for it

He uses wing chun though, that is op irl. Good thing Leroy is a nice guy, who wouldnt hurt a whimp who cannot fight, as most of us are. Not my main though 😉

Wing chun in theory is hella bad, since most of its strike should not do as much damage as a solid uppercut to the jaw Then again if he pokes you in the eye , stomps on your ankle then slam your balls you would be cooked

Your fucked no matter who you choose since there is mo average joe in tekken. They all blow wall and shit and they dont know how to hold back. But I guess its jun cause, Jun will atleast heal you back and say sorry. Seriously bryan will still beat the shit out of you after your done Kazuya doesnt respect weaker being so your extra fucked Kuma and panda are bear enough said. Alisa has a chainsaw. Asuka call you weakling after destroying your dignity. Marshall beat your ass so bad to offer you promote his marshall art. I could go on but in short you're well done.

WHY HE SPITTING THO? seriously bro makes a solid point, any of the mishimas would be the worst to deal with tho considering most of em have the devil gene and i aint trying to get head shot by a third eye

Jin might be depressed letting you beat his ass as he uses it for main character fuel

Meanwhile other people here think they can beat lili lmao.

When the most normal fighter is a genetically modified test tube baby, you know you're not getting out without a black eye no matter who you main

One submissive heel and I'd be brain dead.

At least you are blessed by her glorious feet.

This is such a pointless post 😭 everyone is cooked

I want reina to hold me like a baby with her unbreakable grab

And I want Nina to crack every bone in my body with her grabs.

Dont we all?

Lidia, fortunately if she wanted to fight me it would probably be a sparring match and It would be really wholesome and I would learn something positive However Lidia is definitely whooping me hands down

she'll break you down in a fight but build you back up with her words

I'd die of cringe first before dying to his fists of a champion

Uh ohhhhhhhhh 

I’m sure my main and I will bond over our love for System of a Down and Linkin Park.

Average Jin main music tastes

Yep

Reina is just a high schooler. Surely it can’t be that bad

trust me, the LAST person you wanna face is someone who trained under a man strong enough to head butt the devil incarnate and has a bear deciple lol

Nah I got this I’ll post the fight afterwards

where the fight at?

https://preview.redd.it/p63gp2mwxfuc1.jpeg?width=518&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1b47bb7373dd4d28e070dd61ff66909e6576e0d

Got my ass wooped im not posting that”

She has lightning powers and can kick a man so hard he flies 20 ft into the air, I think you might be screwed.

https://preview.redd.it/wqp9rhxfyfuc1.jpeg?width=597&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0928700745e2ae185d0223cc2600b2915574a241

Lol, imma have a jumping bean battle with Yoshi 🤣

we all know brodies finna cheat using his Sword to get more airtime lmao

Lili 🤤🤤🤤 I'm sorry...

I can tell you dont mind getting hurt from her df4,4

I really don't want to feel what her running 1+2 feels like. Probably break my damn neck

one minute Your hearing the annoucer the next you got a heel going through your Neck lol

I'll politely be asked to die and then hear chainsaws. That will be the last thing I hear

Painful but Polite lol

Excellent

Do-ry-a?

DORYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Such pathetic words, CraxProgram

Oh no, don't step on me please!

hey nina what are you doing with that Gu- NONONONO, WAITWAITWAIT! WAIWAITWAITTTTTTTTTTT-

Hopefully it's just training and he'd go easy on me, but yeah, still cooked 😌

Atleast he'll make it LIGHTING quick Eh? ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? lmao

I guess we will probably talk about Soviet politics lol

Just give him gunpla tanks and he'll probably be too preoccupied to fight you

I’d like to see what her coffee is all about

Oh no, Daddy Victor. Whatever shall I do? /s https://preview.redd.it/ls7dn9excduc1.jpeg?width=678&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0a1f666baee3800599166a1bb409dc08dc6a8b1

Try to explode the moment he speaks his french

Nyessss. But I think it'll give him more incentive to wreck my shit (proverbially & literally lmao)

Panda and I can get some boba maybe? I don't think she'd fight me, lazy ass Pandas can't eat right 😂

I’m fine cause she can’t ever kill anyone

Anna's fiancé has entered the chat.

I am definitely cooked, a bit cold and without sugarcoat

Lars does so much flippy dippy batshit I don’t stand a chance, but maybe I can punch him out of the air at least once, and be proud of that.

In a battle of Drop, Lee will absolutely destroy me. In a fight, Lee will absolutely destroy me. In a battle of looks, he will mutilate me. He is Purely *E X C E L L E N T* in every way. Plus he can do like, flips n stuff. Basically *I'm fucked*

Looks like I'm getting my ass tossed off a cliff

How in the do I defend myself against Yoshimitsu??

"thats the neat part, you dont"

Just do the indian sit and hope he does the same

Welp....

One mach breaker will kill me

Cool. Hwoarang vs me (taekwondo vs kickboxing).

I would love it when Asuka steps on me

Jack 💀

He'd see it as an opportunity to ask me if I want to learn martial arts, and honestly I think he's a good martial arts master. I'd probably accept it.

You may get clapped but atleast your learn from it

I'd be fucked. I mean... How in the hell are you gonna fight a grizzly bear that knows martial arts? One swipe and I'm bisected. 

Azucena would be styling on my ass the whole time 😭 meanwhile Lili probably finna be hitting backflips on my skull 💀

Just Help her premote Coffee And maybe you'll live to see the commerical lmao

He'd beat me up but gently and wont kill me. All while doing silly things like fly around on his sword. I'll be amazed and want to be his student.

There's no sugar coating when my opponent is nicknamed "Blood Talon". don't think I'll come out unscathed but If I survive the fight I'll make him my master, follow his footsteps and make Reina my rival.

That depends on the circumstances… either way I’m kicked to pieces

well in THIS circumstance your Ring matching them or they've tracked you down for (insert reason), Realistically as long as your not involve in one of the major companys, screwed over one of their pasts, YOU provoke them, Or are in the wrong place at the wrong time your 100% good

Kuma on the other hand would roast my shit 😂

It will take only one Deathfist for me........

I'm dead asf

Azucena is dancing on my grave 🪦

I'm in heaven I can't wait to grab azucena I hope she wears the bikini skin

Now i regret i don’t main Lili, Nina or Zafina Lol

well atleast you'll get too know what a preztel feels like lmao

Damn I use feng 😂😂😂😂

Screwed but will have fun regardless, I also do capoeira :D it's just that he's gonna know all my tricks already.

I mean, Eliza is not on the list. If she were; I’d be bruised.

I’m dead - Alisa

I’m fighting a space ninja, a human cat hybrid that sounds like a velociraptor, and a violence crazed cyborg. I’m chillin dog

I already fight the against the devil every day, but the devil i know doesnt know karate... I can sidestep left quite proficiently though irl. I think I have a chance to be honest lol (kaz)

Oh well…

She has chainsaws in her arms but she seems pretty sweet, so I'm sure i could talk her out of a fight

I'm getting suplexed if that were the case

Steve is a world champion level boxer, I will wake up in the hospital.

I dont think Feng would kick me if I just lay down and gave up so I'm only emotionally cooked

King would just body slam you, but since he’s a professional wrestler and nice guy he wouldn’t actually injure you.

I am NOT surviving that death fist from paul

Mine is Lili. She’s pretty strong even in the main story - saved herself when she was kidnapped in T5 - won the European qualifiers to make it to the finals in 8 - was seen making quick work of mob jack 7s in the T8 opening - defeated Forrest Law, gaining an invitation to the king of iron fist tournament in T5 - defeated all other dojos in Japan in asuka’s T8 ending

Lee really about to style on me while jumping me mercilessly

Well.. He is the strongest in the universe, but at least he'll win for us?

Would get thrown off a cliff

It won’t be marvelous for me…

 Welp..

https://preview.redd.it/myke3sislduc1.jpeg?width=1300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be4de8143cf28b1cd7387e61e20385e039d178f5 Id say im pretty damn cooked but ima lose in style though 🤷🏾‍♂️

Considering Zafina literally has the power of Azazel in her left hand, I’m super mega fucked

I main jun with Brian a close second. Jun would probably be ok cuz she would just heal me and apologize right after wrecking my shit, but Brian would stuff his mini gun up my ass and hold the trigger down while simultaneously punching me in the face and laughing like a fuckin lunatic.

My wife is peruvian and loves coffee, I don't think I have to worry about fighting.....

I'm getting my ass spanked by the metal hand

My ankles are broken then I get cut in half by a laser

I could just give him ten bucks and avoid getting my ass whipped

Let’s see. * Yoshimitsu: I’m dead * Paul: I’m super dead 

Crispy delicious w/ lots of salt, my main has super powers and is possibly undead? (Jun)

lars is gonna do a full standing front flip over me and grab me by the head, slamming me into the ground abd killing me instantaneously

Probably about as fucked as I'd be fighting any other large military russian dude I'm not very good at fighting

Ribs and back are broken thats for sure

Are they playing by IRL physics and rules as well? Because Paul would still fuck me up, but there's a chance I could land a takedown on Eddy due to his goofy ass stance. His legs are constantly overextended at an awkward angle, doing a single leg and landing in half guard would probably be the best idea. Then again, he is Brazilian so theres a real chance his BJJ is a lot better than mine. If they're still using Tekken universe movement, strength and speed though, none of us would stand a chance. Any character that can kick you hard enough to launch you 20 feet in the air in game will turn your head into red mist irl. The smallest teenage girl on the roster could punch a hole through your chest

well i play panda and kuma an equal amount of time…one is a voluntary vegetarian carnivore and one is an animal everyone tells u youre dead the moment it sees you

I'm fighting the strongest in the universe. Going to get death fisted to oblivion.

Guess I'm getting dizzy, and that's before he even actually starts fighting me (Eddy main)

I’ll just drink her coffee.

im weak as hell so im losing regardless of who it is. i dont stand a fcking chance

My only hope is that I am not worth kazuya’s time

Kuma...

Leroy.... nice rings bro, plz spare me

 Hey fen-

I’m fucked, I’m pretty sure Satan would beat me in a fight

Jin would just destroy me

I am FUCKED. I'll either get shot, or have my neck snapped between her thighs.

Tekken is a game about characters that can fight really well tho. I'm gon be cooked no matter the main

Nina is gonna murder me in a split second lol Unless i sign a contract with her, which I can't afford ..so yeah dead.

King would let me be the underdog in a worked fight, so I'll be fine.

I'm peaceful and Jun seems reasonable. I would easily convince her not to fight.

I may talk things out with Lars, and avoid fighting. Otherwise I'm more than cooked.

Does that mean that the moment I fight someone, I'm also on the roster? Because then I'll just wait for Mokujin release to main him and pray that he mimics my own style.

Leo: I have no chance whatsoever, but I probably won't get beat up too badly because Leo should have no reason to hate me. Lili: This is going to leave a lot of nasty nail scratches. Though maybe she'll gift me a car afterwards?..

I don't have devil genes or any demonic powers. I guess I'll be ok... Right?

Jun wouldn’t fight me she’d purify my soul or something Zafina would murder me

Oh I’m fully cooked…..

I'll be thrown off a cliff

I play the whole roster since Mokujin not in but he's a piece of wood, I'll just get a chainsaw, easy!

Welp nice knowing ya'll

 I'm screwed

I’d say I’m fighting the equivalent of Mike Tyson.

Not only does hwoarang actually have proper fighting form, but also 40 pounds over me, im cooked

Bro i stand no chance against eddy. He gonna use craziest capoeira moves and i’m gonna lose

Extremely, because the first thing I'ma say when I see Raven is "I liked you better when you had tits."

Bullsye I don't know how this will go with Steve

I'm cooked but I'm not dying. Leo is a respectable dude so as long as I didn't do anything that would spark German wrath, I don't die which I assume is better than most people.