You touching you is cheating? Yikes.
Don’t know of any way to lower libido without lowering your dose. Anything that could do so would probably be overall bad for your health, reversing aspects of your healthy functioning body.
The fuckboy in me immediately thought “we’ll if touching myself is cheating anyway, might as well just go out and really enjoy cheating” but that’s also maybe why I’m not married. Guess the best solution is locking the door when you go to the bathroom and cheating in there.
Firm believer that masturbation is cheating and she will only participate once a week? You don't have a TRT problem, you have a wife problem. She's basically an asshole. Congrats, you found the problem.
The Testosterone Progesterone Estrogen pellet. Susan Pinsky, Dr. Drew Pinsky (sic) Dr. Drew After Dark Podcast
Life changing for some women. Haven't heard anything bad.
https://drdrew.com/2019/youlive-190-dr-gary-donovitz/
Imagine being 26 and only having sex once a week if you're lucky and also having a wife that discourages you from masturbating
Like holy shit that is a nightmare scenario for me
OP hopefully you don't have kids, I'd recommend getting a divorce and then having sex with women that aren't psychos
Bro seriously, and possibly got married too soon. This is a lesson to all you young bucks lurking that haven’t got married yet. Like don’t even think about it till you’re in your 30’s
Man when I was in my mid 20’s I had multiple recurring sex partners, was having constant one night stands, and was fucking masturbating like twice a day 😂. I can’t imagine being in OP’s shoes at 26. Sounds like he needs to reconsider some life decisions before it’s too late.
This is true. No one should be married before 30 at the earliest! I don’t even think of it in terms of sex partners but even career. I landed a 6 figure income at the age of 26-27 and had a family at 20. I always think to myself the amount of trips around the world and woman I could have met along the way. I’d be fuckin exotic women at this stage in my life. Once you have kids it’s over before it begins. ~cries tears on screen~ LOL.
Honestly, it works for both sides. A guy who is 30 should snag a woman who is 25ish. She's already out of her 21 year old party phase at that point, out of her college phase.
Second that. What century is she living in to think masturbation is cheating? OP you need to either get your wife to go to marriage counseling or cut your losses and run for the hills before you waste your life going down that path.
Lmao my wife had this same belief when we were young. For my wife it was an insecurity thing and I don’t blame her after I had a lot of girlfriends growing up and have always been a bit of a flirt. What helped me was straight honesty. This is what I need or this is going to happen being a mid 20s age male. What would she expect? Just make sure you pay attention to her needs. Grabbin hips and suckin nips is like jump starting a car with an Arc Reactor for most women.
Sounds like a control issue with the wife. She won't give it up to you, but yet she's the only one allowed to get you off, including yourself? Might have to have a discussion with her about that and see what the deal is with that before trying to lower your libido.
26 is young to be having it once a week lad what will it be like in your 30s 40s get out there and have fun you only have one life live it don’t cut your dose enjoy the dose
Just jerk off while maintaining constant eye contact w your wife and saying “ is this unfaithful!!!???”. Say like your about to cry but not crying yet. That should resolve things quickly enough. She will beg you to just go jerk off in another room
Im with the consensus, its new wife time. If you masterbate but always blow your load on her, is that cheating? All she has to do is stand still, or just move very slowly.
What if you touch yourself to piss and you get a chubby? Is that an accidental cheat? Or what if you touch yourself while having sex with her? Does that constitute a threesome? So many questions.
So do you tell your wife you’ve been wanking before or after? You should probably just keep it to yourself from now on.
What age were you married anyway? Have you always been aware of the wanking = cheating situation?!
I’m not gonna badger you about masturbation as others have already mentioned it.
I suggest fixing the problem - why is your wife’s libido so low? I have a very traditional wife as well and our sex life before TRT was dull, but my healthy lifestyle crept into hers and we’re both eating well, and subsequently fuckin more than ever.
Is your wife healthy? How’s her job & home stress? Are you the best man you can be in your marriage? I’ve found the little things turn women on a lot more than what we think.
Inversely, I’ve also found there to be a version of some women that are the laziest blobs in existence and will never turned on by anything and just want to sit, watch tv and eat ice cream. Hopefully your wife’s not one of those because that’s drilled in from childhood and not an easy fix.
Woman here. Wife of 33 years. So, first of all, you don’t get a new wife if that’s the only issue. You work through it and you guys definitely need to work through this because she is wrong.
Does she have a strong church/religious background?
I grew up in that same toxic mindset. And yes, in the denomination we were in, that is exactly the garbage that was fed to us. She heard this idea somewhere and no matter where it came from, she should get into counseling.
You don’t own her body and she doesn’t own yours. Each of you has the right to pleasure your own body. And that is especially true if your spouse is unwilling to have sex with you.
Also have her hormones/thyroid checked by her gyno.
Lastly, I am on TRT and got a taste of testosterone and wish I understood the male sex drive earlier in life. I only have a fraction of the testosterone a man has, and holy heck…. I sympathize.
Our sex life in our fifties is better than ever. Don’t settle for once a week. That’s crazy for your age.
My wife is the same way. We have not had sex in 15 years. She won’t masturbate. She goes to bed fully clothed but she says it’s a sin to pleasure herself. I just do want I want now. My wife is a narcissist. She refuses to go to counseling.
She says I need to work harder by doing more around the house to earn sex. No matter what I do it’s never enough. I just pleasure myself.
Life is like Prison. I’m nearly 60. I can’t afford to divorce. I maybe have 20 years left on the planet.
I’m not going to even consider divorce. Aside from this issue our marriage is great. When it comes to the religious aspect, she grew up in the church and is very religious. I am so so when I comes to religion. I like going to church for the social/community. I know she would be 100% down for use to talk to our pastor about it but that would be awkward as hell for me.
Um, for me that’s where that concept came from. You want an unbiased counselor. I have a Christian counselor that is actually quite normal. Many are not.
You can show her my posts. Maybe your pastor is down to earth and not where she got this concept. I don’t know.
But I get where she is coming from. I was also told looking at others was a fork of cheating. It’s really messed up!
Sounds like you need a new wife. There's plenty of women out there that will let you fuck them everyday.. why would you marry a woman with a low libido that only has sex with you once a week? Then a few years later come on the internet and complain about it.
Your wife sounds like she has some issues to work through herself and you both have to work through as a couple. Once you’ve done that if she still has a low drive consider having her hormones tested and if trt would benefit her.
Hey OP. My ex wife was the same way, and well now she’s my ex for that reason. We were together during my prime, age 18-28. And I regret it man. What I regret is not communicating how important sex with her was to me, but it’s worked out for me now. What I’m saying is the only way to improve the situation is to talk to her. If she puts in effort to have sex with you more often and you can put effort into saying/doing the things that she needs said/done, or she says no and you put up with it until you can’t take it anymore and cut your losses and move on. Either way, the situation improves with just having the conversation with her.
My fiancé loves me for my new sex drive we usually have sex 6-7 times a week. We used to average 1-2. Sounds like your wife either isn’t attracted to you, or has hormone issues herself.
You made the biggest mistake of your life when you married that woman. Sex is one of the amazing parts of the human experience and the great joys of marriage. And you are barely getting it from her. On top of that she won't let you masturbate? Get a new wife.
Sounds like your wife has some issues she needs to work out.
My suggestion is find the top five divorce lawyers in your area, and either put down a small retainer or have a consultation with each of them to protect yourself from her in the future.
Either way, I don’t suggest that you spend the rest of your life with someone like that
Since she won't do it, and she won't even let you have sex with yourself, ask her who you're supposed to have sex with. Her holding that level of control over your sex life is untenable in the long run.
your wife is a firm believer that masturbation is a form of cheating ?
HOW THE FUCK.
sounds like you married the wrong broad my dude.
you also married in the peak of your life , let me know when you reach 40.
ill bet my left nut you'll be divorced.
Yea TRT aside… you’re 26 and she feels that yanking your crank is cheating?? Get a divorce and save yourself while you’re young. This has all the makings of a DeadBedroom situation down the road.
That is beyond narcissistic. 'Masturbation is cheating' what??
What if Im thinking about you?
What if who fkn cares its imaginary.
You allowed to talk to your mom or sister? Is she jealous of them?
The waitress can only speak to her?
If pulled over by a female cop you, if you love your wife, will not speak to the cop get arrested until a male cop is available in the station?
While I went extreme funny Ill bet some of these are close to true. Shes extremely insecure and narcissistic. Imo
Bro. I am sure you love your wife so I will put it straight. Either lower your T, get her onboard to at least every other day, get counseling, or have a talk with her about your needs and how it is not fair that her needs are met while yours aren't. Jerking it is healthy, safe, and will keep you in check. Whatever you do...DO NOT CHEAT on her (jerking is not cheating) that is selfish and will cause too many problems you can't imagine. Please get counseling.
If your lady isn’t touching it, you gotta do what you have to do. Tell her you beating it is much better than you finding someone else to do it for ya.
Feel for you. I'm 42 on TRT and just as horny. Fortunately my wife gets a huge amount of personal validation from me desiring her sexually, so she's eager to hop on every morning.
Holy shit, masturbation is cheating and once a week at 26?
I’m sure you love your wife and as person who has been married for close to three decades I can assure you sex is only 10% of a marriage… if it’s good. If it’s not you’ll find it’s 90% and will cause massive issues.
There may be underlying issues with the wife that you need to discuss. For example, was there any abuse or deeper reason why she has such strong feelings.
The problem does not reside with you and it’s crazy to light yourself on fire to keep others warm. Your health and happiness do not take a back seat to hers.
I would work with her on hormone testing and therapy in that order. Best of luck.
Change your wife, not your TRT protocol.
you are too young to condemn yourself to having sex only once a week. and that will only decrease as you get older, because she doesn't even let you masturbate.. jesus christ how did you ended up married knowing that...
Bad news OP, it only gets worse. As a woman ages, her body produces less and less hormones. She’s only wants it once a week now, and then it’ll be once a month, maybe even once half a year. You shouldn’t lower your dose just because your libido is high. Remember that TRT is supplying your body with NORMAL testosterone levels, meaning if your body wasn’t lacking it, you’d NORMALLY be this horny. The problem isn’t your hormones, it’s your wife’s description of “cheating.” I’m sure she would feel 100x worse if you decided to go out and sleep with other women because she doesn’t want you to masturbate. Masturbation (in healthy doses) is a normal thing to do and does not mean you’re cheating on her. Have a conversation with your wife about the changes you’re experiencing. Do not suggest lowering your dose, and do not let it be an option. This is your health you’re talking about bro. Try to figure out a way you both can get what you want without compromising your integrity or your health.
Don’t let yourself be convinced or gaslit into thinking that you, your libido, or your TRT is the problem. It’s completely unreasonable as a couple in your 20s to only have sex once a week, and then cap off your only other non-adulterous outlet. Advocating for what you need in the relationship is not selfish.
Bro wtf, you have a massive other problem lol. Your wife thinks masturbation is cheating, and only lets you have sex once a week? That's insane. I'm sorry, that at best needs a lot of sex positive therapy, most men wouldn't go with nutting only once a week for any extended period, even in a sexless marriage most people be fapping.
26 and sex once a week, and she considers masturbating cheating?
Sounds like you guys are sexually incompatible tbh.
I hope it doesn't turn out like my marriage, but if you stay the risk is that you end up resenting her as you look back at an unfulfilling sex life.
Drop that dead weight. Thats bullshit. My wife said she’s mine for the taking Whenever even if she’s not in the mood.
Masturbation isn’t cheating, wear the pants and make it clear.
Woman here, she sounds like a miserable, controlling, self centered bitch. You should have the right to bodily autonomy without being accused of cheating.
If you do wanna keep her you could give her some T. I’m microdosing and my drive is insane. I have a very happy husband indeed.
You can get your wife to take tribulus terrestiris. It's a natural booster for her sex drive and should improve her mood. It's natural and from a herbal store, judging from her beliefs it's not drugs or otc meds.
Your wife sounds insanely toxic. That's probably why your t levels were so low at the beginning of your marriage tbh. I'm very thankful to have a woman who has a high sex drive. Then again....it's super easy to turn her on so that works in my favor.
I recommend couples therapy. I started having hormonal issues a bit younger than you so can relate (drive wise). And test has you feeling as you should bc you're in your "prime" years. Everyone's needs are different, and that's ok. But her not letting you handle your own business is really strange. She's either extremely self-conscious or it's a jealousy/control thing. This is going to lead to a lot of issues and resentment. I'm not sure about lowering libido, but lowering your actual medicine to tone down to her level isn't fair to you.
Your problem is your wife. Get her hormones checked. If they are fine then, if this is going to be a problem, then discuss it with her and consider leaving.
Saying that masturbation is cheating is, unequivocally an extremely unhealthy and damaging viewpoint. Your wife may have some unresolved issues with her sexuality, but as a couples therapist- you should address this immediately. Don’t let someone convey shameful messages about normal, healthy sexuality.
Im sorry but if you're married and know that you have to rely on masturbation for whatever reason, you have to reconsider your marriage if your wife doesn't want to make an effort to change things up for the better of your relationship.
Hey bro ! Do you have kids before trt ??
I'm 22 and 303 ng/dl
Sex drive is like 10s along with this i also have ed lose erection within 1min and bro trt is like one way road
I wanna be father and worried about it
Been married 20+ years, got married at 23, still having sex 4+ times a week. Trt definitely made my sex drive jump, but now it's more about longevity, I don't even mind not cumming so long as she's having a good time. Even with small kids in the house (7 & 5) we make time, they go to bed, we start watching something and end up having sex.
Communication is the king, the flirty comments, touching each other during the day, the build up is key to keeping things alive.
to be honest, your wife sounds frigid. maybe that's okay with you, i don't know. it was a big problem for me in my last relationship, because i wanted my gf 2-4 times a day and she was more like once a day. in the end, i just felt like, why would i limit my freedom and take care of this girl and all the bs that comes with a relationship, if we're only going to do it once a day?
in my case, i tried to get my gf to increase her libido but she refused. tongkat ali, trebulus, even anything the increases nitric oxide, other supplements can help female sex drive. start there with your girl. see how willing she is. that might help. but honestly, once a week? sounds like you're really far from ideal there. not to mention, your mate value has probably increased a lot. i'd probably start looking around and exploring my options, if you know what i mean. you're 26 and you have your whole life ahead of you, don't let this woman slow you down.
if you really love your wife and don't mind the frigidity, then there are supplements you can take. huberman discussed that turmeric can greatly decrease sex drive. finasteride and other drugs also will lower your libido. see here:[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481923/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481923/)
Ummm ya seriously tell her to not be so childish, if she can't keep up, you gotta do-it-yourself, masterbation is pretty fuckin normal bro, she's the problem not your high sex drive.
That's a red flag if I ever saw one. In the prime of your life and lucky to have sex 1 time a week... Please don't take offense to this but your wife might not find you attractive. If she does then maybe she should get on some testosterone to fix her libido.
Anyways, have no fear, your libido will go back down. In my experience, taking testosterone will raise your libido for some time but then it will come back down - potentially lower than what it was before. What goes up must come back down 🤷. Libido is complicated and affected by many other hormones other than T.
Sounds like you guys need to have a serious conversation. Masturbation is healthy, normal, and natural for both men and women. It's why the universe designed our arms and hands JUST long enough to reach our happy place. :-)
My wife has zero interest in sex at all-and never has. Her concession to me is to allow me to pleasure myself in whatever way I see fit, short of cheating with another woman.
I'm not sure where your wife gets the idea that masturbation is cheating. Looking at porn? Yeah, I could see how that might be cheating to many women. But if you're thinking about the next time you get to have sex with her while polishing your pole? Fair game, mate...
I’m 56 and have lived a life in an unbalanced sexual need’s relationships for 35 years. When you are seeking a life partner…look long and hard (pardon the pun) before you commit. Three things cause most divorces…money, sex, and incompatible personalities or families. If you have two of these, you are likely doomed. One is a struggle and often leads to infidelity.
In the above case, you seriously should try to balance your sexual drives. Lower yours and see if she’s open to raising hers with some testosterone or Anavar…but make sure it’s real Anavar. If test c start at 5-8 mgs a week…that’s low and may have no impact…but start there for 3-4 weeks. Then, if needed, add 2mgs and go 3-4 more weeks. Rinse and repeat until she senses her drive rising. When she does hold at that level. Watch for sides like hair, skin issues, and clit enlargement. These are fairly common sides. Clit enlargement is normal and does seem to return to normal if you stop HRT. If you get ANY voice deepening, stop immediately for two weeks! It can quickly become permanent! Then reduce dose 20-25% and start again. Do not go past 15 mgs a week. Rarely is it necessary to go beyond that and it will push 90% of women well past 200 total testosterone…that’s high. I think trans is around 275…. Be aware there should be blood work to confirm both progesterone and Estradiol are in range or above mid range…not above range. Check thyroid function T3 and T4. Keep them mid range or higher but not above range. Test for SHBG too…if too high it makes success adding testosterone complicated and requires more dose and thus more risks…real risks. If this is the case, find a very good HRT female specialist…they are rare. Supplement with DIM to protect against some cancers and help with good absorption of hormone. Considering having babies…? See a good HRT doctor! The male should take HCG to keep your sperm system working…women should have regular cycles and keep testosterone reasonable. Regularly test and have gyno standard visits and breast exams if 30+…sooner if a family history of breast cancer…especially early onset or known aggressive cancers…in which case all HRT is not advisable without serious careful well informed doctor care. There are so few, it’s best to pass until more studies for woman are done. And yes, very little science or data even exist on women and HRT so you are dancing in the wild wild west here. Understand that and educate yourself the best you can.
Anavar or Oxandrolone is a pill alternative to testosterone, it’s weaker but better and maybe safer overall due to less androgens which reduces sides and some risks. But you cannot test for blood level of Anavar. You have to go by her response and sides. 5-8 mgs a day is a start range 10-12 is max. It lasts 12-16 hours so some split dose to twice a day, but most don’t. Again, much of the market is full of fake Anavar and Oxandrolone…which is the same drug. So you want a solid source for it and even have it tested. FYI..It was originally sold as Anavar, but it was stopped for distribution. Then a new company bought the rights and renamed it Oxandrolone for distribution. That’s why it has two names.
The goal is balance in drives. An issue that isn’t talked about enough is TRT’s impacts on drive creating this imbalance. Often the male goes way up with TRT and she gets left behind and it creates real problems. She will feel burdened…he will feel rejected…eventually. It’s a cancer on the relationship. Open communication and being willing to do what is necessary to find balance is the key…even if the man has to ease up some…sorry but it’s true. Good luck. I am not a doctor and all this information is from personal experiences and research I’ve done. Your experience may vary…and it may be medically unwise for you to do any of this. Be safe.
Edit….I just read people saying “you should get divorced”…well, ignore that crap. Most women do see masturbating as a form of cheating…and at least a selfish thing to do. Most of the people spewing “get divorced” are just too young and dumb to know their partner thinks the same thing about males masturbating. Women truly don’t get masturbating for men is a direct result of higher testosterone…which they don’t have and simply don’t understand why we do what we do. But in a marriage, you should be aware that’s what she likely thinks. No it’s not fair to say stop. I’m not justifying selfishness on her part. You need to talk about needs. Communicate! Use that as a way to bring up HRT for her. Explain the your TRT does make you horny and wanting sexual releases more often. Explain that TRT is helping you be a better person…happier person…more motivated person…but yes hornier. Then see if HRT is a consideration. My wife and I finally came into balance when she started HRT…and then our entire relationship vastly improved. It took her years and menopause to consider it, but when she did…boom. 3-4 times a week…is a norm. And we are in our mid-late 50’s.
My wife was like this .... found out she had been cheating on me for 3 years.
And that's just the dude I know about. Pretty sure there were others before him, but he's the only one I got proof on.
You could also check her hormones. Lots of women have crazy Estrogen/test ratios just like guys.
But yeah if she doesn’t understand then find a new wife or seek counseling
“Men are told that women’s hormones are to be accepted. Periods are the biggest culprit and women have an automatic “out” from most mistakes they make or problems they create. This hormonal understanding is not reciprocated for men and is overlooked by the majority of women”
-some shit I just made up
You are absolutely correct. When women complain about low libido they are told it’s normal, or I once had a dr tell me to try watching a romantic movie. I seemed out alternative therapy and found a women’s sexual health clinic where I pay for hormone therapy. It is really sad that if a man has the same complaint he gets T injections and viagra prescribed and paid for no matter his age but women get told it’s normal. I have to pay $500 every three months for my hormone pellets.
70% of marriages fail due to the lack of sex (or perceived lack of sex), if it is now bad, it will just go downhill as she ages. Having a kid will cut what you have now in half, if you are lucky. Fix it before you start resenting her.
Your wife has low sex drive for a reason. She's not into you, or something is wrong with her or both. Seriously.
As for masturbation, she doesn't get to have it both ways.
However, masturbation can lead to other problems, so I wouldn't recommend going that route.
Her happiness is both of your responsibilities, and your happiness is both of your responsibilities.
I’m thankful I have a partner that is supportive of having an open and honest relationship. I wouldn’t know what to do if I were in OP’s shoes. Masturbation is not cheating. Y’all need to see a couple’s therapist or make some tough choices depending on if there are more concerns in the relationship than just the disconnect on sex.
The only situation I can think of that was worse was when some religious virgin dude called in on Love Line back in like the late nineties and asked Dr Drew about having wet dreams and how to stop them.
He didn't believe in masturbation because it was a sin and against his religion. He thought the wet dreams were a sin, so he called into ask how to stop it.
Dr. Drew flat out told him it's got to come out one way or another.
Do you mean “too* high”. You call once a week a low sex drive? Jeez I’m fucked then (obviously not literally 😩)
You call your penis “o’l eye”? And how the fuck is a) masturbation cheating?! What’s taking a piss then, flirting? Washing yourself second base??
So. MUCH. To. Unpack!
Desire cannot be negotiated.
Let that sink in bro. I’ve been in this boat, it ate me alive. Get yourself a life worth living and a wife worth dying next to.
Masturbation isn’t the answer. It’s short term meaningless gratification. It’s not cheating but it’s also not healthy. Also, porn is horrific for your mind and mental well being. STOP WATCHING PORN.
Find a new wife. It’s not going to get any better. There is a saying that I firmly believe in, “you can’t send a starving man out into the world every day and expect him not to eat out”.
Dump her, workout like a beast, live a healthy lifestyle, find the right woman for you and live the life you deserve.
Have you talked to her about this being an issue? If she is that concerned she really should be willing to at least meet you in the middle. Took a few conversations for my wife to understand but after she did some research she was much more understanding.
Beating off is cheating??? Surely there’s a way to do it that is more respectful to your marriage. Maybe no porn? Tell her you’re fapping to her pictures? Lmao
Does she know you're on TRT?
Have you expressed all of your feelings/thoughts about this lack of parity? If not, you should.
Does she *enjoy* the once a week?
My initial gut reaction is to agree with mostly everyone on here (and I do), but I realize it's more complicated for you and, more likely, her.
I suspect she has some hangups from her upbringing that may can be addressed. That would help the situation.
You need to try and work things out with your wife. A few options would be:
- You help her understand that masturbation isn’t cheating. It’s just maintenance like getting a massage or having a glass of wine after a long day. Maybe work it out that you don’t talk about it or do it when she is in the house, so it’s just “your” thing. You could also assure her that it will have no impact on your desire for sex. It’s just a supplement.
- You could also talk to her about a “free use” dynamic, where you could use her for sex even if she isn’t in the mood.
My wife is going through menopause, so her sex drive is low right now, and mine is always high. We have a free use agreement where I can use her for my pleasure whenever I need it. We wrote up a set of guidelines on any activities, times, locations, etc that are off limits, and then anything else is free reign. The important benefit here is that I don’t have to worry about whether she’s in the mood, and she doesn’t have to feel bad about her horniness not timing up with mine.
Shes not a problem man. Dont listen to the deranged replies telling you to get a divorce. I had a similar issue. The high sex drive drops eventually. How long have you been on?
OP- I didn’t get it much (at all) in my 20s so just lyk it’s not like every guy out there is having all this frequent sex all the time and your the only one whose not
I don’t give a fuck what she considers it. Just bc she don’t wanna get off don’t mean I can’t. I’d wake up n wank it right next to her. Hell one of us gone play with it😂
Your wife needs to get on board one way or another. If she doesnt you two will never last especially at the age of 26. I was 45 when I started and wanted sex five times or more a week. Luckily, my wife played along as best she could. And yes I still jerk it once or twice a week to relieve the pressure. I’ve been on T for five years now and still want to fcuk daily. T is a blessing and a curse when it comes to sex. It may be best to try to get her on something to increase her libido. Welcome to the party pal!
No one should ever be able to shame you for touching your own body bro (in the appropriate settings of course). It's YOUR body, she should have no imposing opinions about what you do or touch on your own body.
When I was 26 my wife was also not really into it, had sex one every week to two weeks. It was HELL for me, my libido was like yours through the roof and I just wanted to get it on. Fast forward I'm now 35 and my libido is shot, and her's is SKY HIGH. I can't keep up.. one of the reasons why I started TRT but it hasn't helped me much so far in that regard. Enjoy while it lasts, and don't worry about your wife she might change once she hits 30. All about timing.
Lowering your libido would be the wrong solution. There are four solutions to this situation.
1 She stops trying to get you to stop masturbating.
2 She has sex with you enough to keep you from needing to masturbate.
3 Something in the middle, where you have sex a few times a week and masturbate as needed.
4 Divorce due to irreconcilable differences.
Honestly, if her libido is low trying to make you live by her levels isn't right. You tossing one off has no impact on her. A good partner wouldn't try to control you like that and would instead make sure your needs are taken care of.
I’m sorry but just wanna confirm… you’re **26** and not **62**? Because if no typo then you messed up marrying this chick. Men wanna have sex and she’s keeping you from that. So wrong
What makes this even worse is I bet after a week of not busting your nut, the sex probably only lasts for like 5-10 min, tops! You need those mid-week spank sessions to properly enjoy your weekly visit to the optometrist
This is far beyond a TRT discussion. I’m not sure I can get my head around someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you and yet doesn’t want you to ever masturbate. That is akin to saying I’m not hungry so no one will eat….good luck
You touching you is cheating? Yikes. Don’t know of any way to lower libido without lowering your dose. Anything that could do so would probably be overall bad for your health, reversing aspects of your healthy functioning body. The fuckboy in me immediately thought “we’ll if touching myself is cheating anyway, might as well just go out and really enjoy cheating” but that’s also maybe why I’m not married. Guess the best solution is locking the door when you go to the bathroom and cheating in there.
Or... you man up and just tell your wife what is what. Hiding your sexual needs from your dormant wife? Hard pass.
Firm believer that masturbation is cheating and she will only participate once a week? You don't have a TRT problem, you have a wife problem. She's basically an asshole. Congrats, you found the problem.
Sounds like she needs TRT
Women can take a low dose of T to increase libido. Might also be bc of birth control.
The Testosterone Progesterone Estrogen pellet. Susan Pinsky, Dr. Drew Pinsky (sic) Dr. Drew After Dark Podcast Life changing for some women. Haven't heard anything bad. https://drdrew.com/2019/youlive-190-dr-gary-donovitz/
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Hee hee
Imagine being 26 and only having sex once a week if you're lucky and also having a wife that discourages you from masturbating Like holy shit that is a nightmare scenario for me OP hopefully you don't have kids, I'd recommend getting a divorce and then having sex with women that aren't psychos
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Bro at 26 my wife and I had a record of 6 times in one day. I miss my 20’s lol
Bro seriously, and possibly got married too soon. This is a lesson to all you young bucks lurking that haven’t got married yet. Like don’t even think about it till you’re in your 30’s Man when I was in my mid 20’s I had multiple recurring sex partners, was having constant one night stands, and was fucking masturbating like twice a day 😂. I can’t imagine being in OP’s shoes at 26. Sounds like he needs to reconsider some life decisions before it’s too late.
You sumed up my 20's.. getting laid daily but still doing the knuckle shuffle twice daily
This is true. No one should be married before 30 at the earliest! I don’t even think of it in terms of sex partners but even career. I landed a 6 figure income at the age of 26-27 and had a family at 20. I always think to myself the amount of trips around the world and woman I could have met along the way. I’d be fuckin exotic women at this stage in my life. Once you have kids it’s over before it begins. ~cries tears on screen~ LOL.
For men, women should get married and start have kids before 30
Honestly, it works for both sides. A guy who is 30 should snag a woman who is 25ish. She's already out of her 21 year old party phase at that point, out of her college phase.
They're much more stable late twenties early 30s, way less drama.
OP that shit is a form of control. She can expect you to be monogamous, but she can’t expect you to only cum when she says so.
Hmm control you say.. this sounds plausible. Do you have a podcast I can subscribe too? Lol
Second that. What century is she living in to think masturbation is cheating? OP you need to either get your wife to go to marriage counseling or cut your losses and run for the hills before you waste your life going down that path.
>Firm believer that masturbation is cheating… will only participate once a week? Wife to you: *Just suffer.*
Lmao my wife had this same belief when we were young. For my wife it was an insecurity thing and I don’t blame her after I had a lot of girlfriends growing up and have always been a bit of a flirt. What helped me was straight honesty. This is what I need or this is going to happen being a mid 20s age male. What would she expect? Just make sure you pay attention to her needs. Grabbin hips and suckin nips is like jump starting a car with an Arc Reactor for most women.
There are so many men in relationships like this…
Yeah sounds like marriage counseling and beating it when she isn’t home or when showering alone
You better watch those wandering eyes if yours when your toweling yourself off after a shower.
This! Tell her to buck up or kick rocks. I did that with my fiance and after a cpl months she bucked the fuck up.
I agree 1000% well said
Try WRT, wife replacement therapy. It’ll work wonders.
So when I start wrt does my current wife slowly start to disappear?
Yes, unfortunately some of your income seems to disappear with her
Hahahahahaha
Shrivels up
This made me actually lol
🤣🤣
I started going to the massage spa. I thought I would feel bad about it but I didn’t
It has kept the peace and I am not begging like a Pavlov dog
My kind of guy no homo 💯💯💯
They jerk you off there?
😳
Those are boring, you want to go to one that offers "full" service instead lol
On god. Whatever for a rug n tug and a blowjob does not cut it. FS is the way to go.
You’re 26. Don’t settle for a mid life, bud.
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Been married 23 years in a less than once a week marriage. I agree, make changes now. No way to get the years back.
Your wife is a dumbass
Sounds like you need a new wife
Sounds like a control issue with the wife. She won't give it up to you, but yet she's the only one allowed to get you off, including yourself? Might have to have a discussion with her about that and see what the deal is with that before trying to lower your libido.
This guy gets it!
Simple, have your wife jerk you off.
Sounds like the type that will complain about her arm or hand hurting.
Haha this is actually the solution, surprised i had to scroll this far to see it.
You're gonna have to squirt a few out when she's not looking.
I disagree...insist she watches while she stares at your cold dead eyes!
26 is young to be having it once a week lad what will it be like in your 30s 40s get out there and have fun you only have one life live it don’t cut your dose enjoy the dose
Just jerk off while maintaining constant eye contact w your wife and saying “ is this unfaithful!!!???”. Say like your about to cry but not crying yet. That should resolve things quickly enough. She will beg you to just go jerk off in another room
holy shit lmaoooo
Im with the consensus, its new wife time. If you masterbate but always blow your load on her, is that cheating? All she has to do is stand still, or just move very slowly. What if you touch yourself to piss and you get a chubby? Is that an accidental cheat? Or what if you touch yourself while having sex with her? Does that constitute a threesome? So many questions.
So do you tell your wife you’ve been wanking before or after? You should probably just keep it to yourself from now on. What age were you married anyway? Have you always been aware of the wanking = cheating situation?!
Just jack off in don’t say anything!
I never said I didn’t lol
Having to hide the fact that you’re jerking off from your wife is the peak of pathetic
I used to hide it. Got tired of it and divorced her. Now I have a gf that loves my high libido, and I get hall passes aswell
Foreal man…you’ll always have alone time 😁😁😁
I’m not gonna badger you about masturbation as others have already mentioned it. I suggest fixing the problem - why is your wife’s libido so low? I have a very traditional wife as well and our sex life before TRT was dull, but my healthy lifestyle crept into hers and we’re both eating well, and subsequently fuckin more than ever. Is your wife healthy? How’s her job & home stress? Are you the best man you can be in your marriage? I’ve found the little things turn women on a lot more than what we think. Inversely, I’ve also found there to be a version of some women that are the laziest blobs in existence and will never turned on by anything and just want to sit, watch tv and eat ice cream. Hopefully your wife’s not one of those because that’s drilled in from childhood and not an easy fix.
Woman here. Wife of 33 years. So, first of all, you don’t get a new wife if that’s the only issue. You work through it and you guys definitely need to work through this because she is wrong. Does she have a strong church/religious background? I grew up in that same toxic mindset. And yes, in the denomination we were in, that is exactly the garbage that was fed to us. She heard this idea somewhere and no matter where it came from, she should get into counseling. You don’t own her body and she doesn’t own yours. Each of you has the right to pleasure your own body. And that is especially true if your spouse is unwilling to have sex with you. Also have her hormones/thyroid checked by her gyno. Lastly, I am on TRT and got a taste of testosterone and wish I understood the male sex drive earlier in life. I only have a fraction of the testosterone a man has, and holy heck…. I sympathize. Our sex life in our fifties is better than ever. Don’t settle for once a week. That’s crazy for your age.
My wife is the same way. We have not had sex in 15 years. She won’t masturbate. She goes to bed fully clothed but she says it’s a sin to pleasure herself. I just do want I want now. My wife is a narcissist. She refuses to go to counseling. She says I need to work harder by doing more around the house to earn sex. No matter what I do it’s never enough. I just pleasure myself. Life is like Prison. I’m nearly 60. I can’t afford to divorce. I maybe have 20 years left on the planet.
This is heartbreaking. No one should go through life that miserable. You only have one life to live.
THIS is the reality of accepting this bs. Thank you for sharing your truth!
Seriously, sneaking her a little testosterone gel will have her all hot and bothered while confused as to why! Use it sparingly!
I’m not going to even consider divorce. Aside from this issue our marriage is great. When it comes to the religious aspect, she grew up in the church and is very religious. I am so so when I comes to religion. I like going to church for the social/community. I know she would be 100% down for use to talk to our pastor about it but that would be awkward as hell for me.
Um, for me that’s where that concept came from. You want an unbiased counselor. I have a Christian counselor that is actually quite normal. Many are not. You can show her my posts. Maybe your pastor is down to earth and not where she got this concept. I don’t know. But I get where she is coming from. I was also told looking at others was a fork of cheating. It’s really messed up!
Sounds like you need a new wife. There's plenty of women out there that will let you fuck them everyday.. why would you marry a woman with a low libido that only has sex with you once a week? Then a few years later come on the internet and complain about it.
I mean it's a bit harsh to say it that way, but that's what i wanted to say.
Your wife sounds like she has some issues to work through herself and you both have to work through as a couple. Once you’ve done that if she still has a low drive consider having her hormones tested and if trt would benefit her.
Hey OP. My ex wife was the same way, and well now she’s my ex for that reason. We were together during my prime, age 18-28. And I regret it man. What I regret is not communicating how important sex with her was to me, but it’s worked out for me now. What I’m saying is the only way to improve the situation is to talk to her. If she puts in effort to have sex with you more often and you can put effort into saying/doing the things that she needs said/done, or she says no and you put up with it until you can’t take it anymore and cut your losses and move on. Either way, the situation improves with just having the conversation with her.
My fiancé loves me for my new sex drive we usually have sex 6-7 times a week. We used to average 1-2. Sounds like your wife either isn’t attracted to you, or has hormone issues herself.
You made the biggest mistake of your life when you married that woman. Sex is one of the amazing parts of the human experience and the great joys of marriage. And you are barely getting it from her. On top of that she won't let you masturbate? Get a new wife.
Tell her to put out more or get used to you spanking the monkey
Sounds like your wife has some issues she needs to work out. My suggestion is find the top five divorce lawyers in your area, and either put down a small retainer or have a consultation with each of them to protect yourself from her in the future. Either way, I don’t suggest that you spend the rest of your life with someone like that
Change wife
Since she won't do it, and she won't even let you have sex with yourself, ask her who you're supposed to have sex with. Her holding that level of control over your sex life is untenable in the long run.
Spontaneously jerk off, do not break eye contact with her- assert dominance
Time for a new wife!
your wife is a firm believer that masturbation is a form of cheating ? HOW THE FUCK. sounds like you married the wrong broad my dude. you also married in the peak of your life , let me know when you reach 40. ill bet my left nut you'll be divorced.
Yea TRT aside… you’re 26 and she feels that yanking your crank is cheating?? Get a divorce and save yourself while you’re young. This has all the makings of a DeadBedroom situation down the road.
That is beyond narcissistic. 'Masturbation is cheating' what?? What if Im thinking about you? What if who fkn cares its imaginary. You allowed to talk to your mom or sister? Is she jealous of them? The waitress can only speak to her? If pulled over by a female cop you, if you love your wife, will not speak to the cop get arrested until a male cop is available in the station? While I went extreme funny Ill bet some of these are close to true. Shes extremely insecure and narcissistic. Imo
Bro. I am sure you love your wife so I will put it straight. Either lower your T, get her onboard to at least every other day, get counseling, or have a talk with her about your needs and how it is not fair that her needs are met while yours aren't. Jerking it is healthy, safe, and will keep you in check. Whatever you do...DO NOT CHEAT on her (jerking is not cheating) that is selfish and will cause too many problems you can't imagine. Please get counseling.
Masturbate in front of her. To her. Tell her aint cheating if I am fapping to your body at your face.
When I was on test I used to fuck my girl for 3-4 times a day yet alone once a week. Although not every girl is a hoe like my gf was
Yikes
Perhaps philandering is th solution? Covertly, of course
If your lady isn’t touching it, you gotta do what you have to do. Tell her you beating it is much better than you finding someone else to do it for ya.
Feel for you. I'm 42 on TRT and just as horny. Fortunately my wife gets a huge amount of personal validation from me desiring her sexually, so she's eager to hop on every morning.
Holy shit, masturbation is cheating and once a week at 26? I’m sure you love your wife and as person who has been married for close to three decades I can assure you sex is only 10% of a marriage… if it’s good. If it’s not you’ll find it’s 90% and will cause massive issues. There may be underlying issues with the wife that you need to discuss. For example, was there any abuse or deeper reason why she has such strong feelings. The problem does not reside with you and it’s crazy to light yourself on fire to keep others warm. Your health and happiness do not take a back seat to hers. I would work with her on hormone testing and therapy in that order. Best of luck.
My dad told me not to masturbate too much as kid, that I would lose valuable eyesight and possibly even go blind. I said dad, I'm over here!
Dude. Your wife needs T
Change your wife, not your TRT protocol. you are too young to condemn yourself to having sex only once a week. and that will only decrease as you get older, because she doesn't even let you masturbate.. jesus christ how did you ended up married knowing that...
Bad news OP, it only gets worse. As a woman ages, her body produces less and less hormones. She’s only wants it once a week now, and then it’ll be once a month, maybe even once half a year. You shouldn’t lower your dose just because your libido is high. Remember that TRT is supplying your body with NORMAL testosterone levels, meaning if your body wasn’t lacking it, you’d NORMALLY be this horny. The problem isn’t your hormones, it’s your wife’s description of “cheating.” I’m sure she would feel 100x worse if you decided to go out and sleep with other women because she doesn’t want you to masturbate. Masturbation (in healthy doses) is a normal thing to do and does not mean you’re cheating on her. Have a conversation with your wife about the changes you’re experiencing. Do not suggest lowering your dose, and do not let it be an option. This is your health you’re talking about bro. Try to figure out a way you both can get what you want without compromising your integrity or your health.
Give her some testosterone to see if it raises her sex drive too
Don’t let yourself be convinced or gaslit into thinking that you, your libido, or your TRT is the problem. It’s completely unreasonable as a couple in your 20s to only have sex once a week, and then cap off your only other non-adulterous outlet. Advocating for what you need in the relationship is not selfish.
I masturbated 6 times while I read through this thread. Man I feel sorry for you.
Drop the old hag dude. Go cheat and find some girls to keep up. Balance girls with wife. Don’t tell her that’s all. Lol
😂😂😂
Bro wtf, you have a massive other problem lol. Your wife thinks masturbation is cheating, and only lets you have sex once a week? That's insane. I'm sorry, that at best needs a lot of sex positive therapy, most men wouldn't go with nutting only once a week for any extended period, even in a sexless marriage most people be fapping.
26 and sex once a week, and she considers masturbating cheating? Sounds like you guys are sexually incompatible tbh. I hope it doesn't turn out like my marriage, but if you stay the risk is that you end up resenting her as you look back at an unfulfilling sex life.
Drop that dead weight. Thats bullshit. My wife said she’s mine for the taking Whenever even if she’s not in the mood. Masturbation isn’t cheating, wear the pants and make it clear.
Woman here, she sounds like a miserable, controlling, self centered bitch. You should have the right to bodily autonomy without being accused of cheating. If you do wanna keep her you could give her some T. I’m microdosing and my drive is insane. I have a very happy husband indeed.
Same! T is actually amazing for women as well.
You can get your wife to take tribulus terrestiris. It's a natural booster for her sex drive and should improve her mood. It's natural and from a herbal store, judging from her beliefs it's not drugs or otc meds.
It's not you bro it's her and she's probably using sex to control you. Your body your choice. Get a side piece or move on. Maybe get a sex toy
Your wife sounds insanely toxic. That's probably why your t levels were so low at the beginning of your marriage tbh. I'm very thankful to have a woman who has a high sex drive. Then again....it's super easy to turn her on so that works in my favor.
I recommend couples therapy. I started having hormonal issues a bit younger than you so can relate (drive wise). And test has you feeling as you should bc you're in your "prime" years. Everyone's needs are different, and that's ok. But her not letting you handle your own business is really strange. She's either extremely self-conscious or it's a jealousy/control thing. This is going to lead to a lot of issues and resentment. I'm not sure about lowering libido, but lowering your actual medicine to tone down to her level isn't fair to you.
Your problem is your wife. Get her hormones checked. If they are fine then, if this is going to be a problem, then discuss it with her and consider leaving.
Saying that masturbation is cheating is, unequivocally an extremely unhealthy and damaging viewpoint. Your wife may have some unresolved issues with her sexuality, but as a couples therapist- you should address this immediately. Don’t let someone convey shameful messages about normal, healthy sexuality.
Im sorry but if you're married and know that you have to rely on masturbation for whatever reason, you have to reconsider your marriage if your wife doesn't want to make an effort to change things up for the better of your relationship.
Hey bro ! Do you have kids before trt ?? I'm 22 and 303 ng/dl Sex drive is like 10s along with this i also have ed lose erection within 1min and bro trt is like one way road I wanna be father and worried about it
Sounds like your wife is the problem Jerk off if you can’t wait for her
Dude you’re wife is setting you up for failure. Maybe she needs TRT
Get to the massage parlour with happy endings
Been married 20+ years, got married at 23, still having sex 4+ times a week. Trt definitely made my sex drive jump, but now it's more about longevity, I don't even mind not cumming so long as she's having a good time. Even with small kids in the house (7 & 5) we make time, they go to bed, we start watching something and end up having sex. Communication is the king, the flirty comments, touching each other during the day, the build up is key to keeping things alive.
to be honest, your wife sounds frigid. maybe that's okay with you, i don't know. it was a big problem for me in my last relationship, because i wanted my gf 2-4 times a day and she was more like once a day. in the end, i just felt like, why would i limit my freedom and take care of this girl and all the bs that comes with a relationship, if we're only going to do it once a day? in my case, i tried to get my gf to increase her libido but she refused. tongkat ali, trebulus, even anything the increases nitric oxide, other supplements can help female sex drive. start there with your girl. see how willing she is. that might help. but honestly, once a week? sounds like you're really far from ideal there. not to mention, your mate value has probably increased a lot. i'd probably start looking around and exploring my options, if you know what i mean. you're 26 and you have your whole life ahead of you, don't let this woman slow you down. if you really love your wife and don't mind the frigidity, then there are supplements you can take. huberman discussed that turmeric can greatly decrease sex drive. finasteride and other drugs also will lower your libido. see here:[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481923/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3481923/)
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Ummm ya seriously tell her to not be so childish, if she can't keep up, you gotta do-it-yourself, masterbation is pretty fuckin normal bro, she's the problem not your high sex drive.
Uhhhhh how is masturbation a form of cheating, exactly?
New life new wife
That's a red flag if I ever saw one. In the prime of your life and lucky to have sex 1 time a week... Please don't take offense to this but your wife might not find you attractive. If she does then maybe she should get on some testosterone to fix her libido. Anyways, have no fear, your libido will go back down. In my experience, taking testosterone will raise your libido for some time but then it will come back down - potentially lower than what it was before. What goes up must come back down 🤷. Libido is complicated and affected by many other hormones other than T.
Sisterwife
My wife is the same. You just need to up your communication game.
Bro just jerk it how would she even know???
Sounds like you guys need to have a serious conversation. Masturbation is healthy, normal, and natural for both men and women. It's why the universe designed our arms and hands JUST long enough to reach our happy place. :-) My wife has zero interest in sex at all-and never has. Her concession to me is to allow me to pleasure myself in whatever way I see fit, short of cheating with another woman. I'm not sure where your wife gets the idea that masturbation is cheating. Looking at porn? Yeah, I could see how that might be cheating to many women. But if you're thinking about the next time you get to have sex with her while polishing your pole? Fair game, mate...
Jerk off and don’t tell her. Get couples counseling and insist she get her hormones checked.
I’m 56 and have lived a life in an unbalanced sexual need’s relationships for 35 years. When you are seeking a life partner…look long and hard (pardon the pun) before you commit. Three things cause most divorces…money, sex, and incompatible personalities or families. If you have two of these, you are likely doomed. One is a struggle and often leads to infidelity. In the above case, you seriously should try to balance your sexual drives. Lower yours and see if she’s open to raising hers with some testosterone or Anavar…but make sure it’s real Anavar. If test c start at 5-8 mgs a week…that’s low and may have no impact…but start there for 3-4 weeks. Then, if needed, add 2mgs and go 3-4 more weeks. Rinse and repeat until she senses her drive rising. When she does hold at that level. Watch for sides like hair, skin issues, and clit enlargement. These are fairly common sides. Clit enlargement is normal and does seem to return to normal if you stop HRT. If you get ANY voice deepening, stop immediately for two weeks! It can quickly become permanent! Then reduce dose 20-25% and start again. Do not go past 15 mgs a week. Rarely is it necessary to go beyond that and it will push 90% of women well past 200 total testosterone…that’s high. I think trans is around 275…. Be aware there should be blood work to confirm both progesterone and Estradiol are in range or above mid range…not above range. Check thyroid function T3 and T4. Keep them mid range or higher but not above range. Test for SHBG too…if too high it makes success adding testosterone complicated and requires more dose and thus more risks…real risks. If this is the case, find a very good HRT female specialist…they are rare. Supplement with DIM to protect against some cancers and help with good absorption of hormone. Considering having babies…? See a good HRT doctor! The male should take HCG to keep your sperm system working…women should have regular cycles and keep testosterone reasonable. Regularly test and have gyno standard visits and breast exams if 30+…sooner if a family history of breast cancer…especially early onset or known aggressive cancers…in which case all HRT is not advisable without serious careful well informed doctor care. There are so few, it’s best to pass until more studies for woman are done. And yes, very little science or data even exist on women and HRT so you are dancing in the wild wild west here. Understand that and educate yourself the best you can. Anavar or Oxandrolone is a pill alternative to testosterone, it’s weaker but better and maybe safer overall due to less androgens which reduces sides and some risks. But you cannot test for blood level of Anavar. You have to go by her response and sides. 5-8 mgs a day is a start range 10-12 is max. It lasts 12-16 hours so some split dose to twice a day, but most don’t. Again, much of the market is full of fake Anavar and Oxandrolone…which is the same drug. So you want a solid source for it and even have it tested. FYI..It was originally sold as Anavar, but it was stopped for distribution. Then a new company bought the rights and renamed it Oxandrolone for distribution. That’s why it has two names. The goal is balance in drives. An issue that isn’t talked about enough is TRT’s impacts on drive creating this imbalance. Often the male goes way up with TRT and she gets left behind and it creates real problems. She will feel burdened…he will feel rejected…eventually. It’s a cancer on the relationship. Open communication and being willing to do what is necessary to find balance is the key…even if the man has to ease up some…sorry but it’s true. Good luck. I am not a doctor and all this information is from personal experiences and research I’ve done. Your experience may vary…and it may be medically unwise for you to do any of this. Be safe. Edit….I just read people saying “you should get divorced”…well, ignore that crap. Most women do see masturbating as a form of cheating…and at least a selfish thing to do. Most of the people spewing “get divorced” are just too young and dumb to know their partner thinks the same thing about males masturbating. Women truly don’t get masturbating for men is a direct result of higher testosterone…which they don’t have and simply don’t understand why we do what we do. But in a marriage, you should be aware that’s what she likely thinks. No it’s not fair to say stop. I’m not justifying selfishness on her part. You need to talk about needs. Communicate! Use that as a way to bring up HRT for her. Explain the your TRT does make you horny and wanting sexual releases more often. Explain that TRT is helping you be a better person…happier person…more motivated person…but yes hornier. Then see if HRT is a consideration. My wife and I finally came into balance when she started HRT…and then our entire relationship vastly improved. It took her years and menopause to consider it, but when she did…boom. 3-4 times a week…is a norm. And we are in our mid-late 50’s.
Yeah sorry to say brother. But if she can’t keep up and won’t let you jack off that’s her problem
A man has to have a release, if she won’t someone will
My wife was like this .... found out she had been cheating on me for 3 years. And that's just the dude I know about. Pretty sure there were others before him, but he's the only one I got proof on.
If your wife won't fuck you,suck you and jerk you off,at home,on the phone,facetime,and anywhere possible she is the problem.
Give her a female viagra or something daily and tell her it's a vitamin lol, maybe get lucky and get it daily.
You could also check her hormones. Lots of women have crazy Estrogen/test ratios just like guys. But yeah if she doesn’t understand then find a new wife or seek counseling “Men are told that women’s hormones are to be accepted. Periods are the biggest culprit and women have an automatic “out” from most mistakes they make or problems they create. This hormonal understanding is not reciprocated for men and is overlooked by the majority of women” -some shit I just made up
You are absolutely correct. When women complain about low libido they are told it’s normal, or I once had a dr tell me to try watching a romantic movie. I seemed out alternative therapy and found a women’s sexual health clinic where I pay for hormone therapy. It is really sad that if a man has the same complaint he gets T injections and viagra prescribed and paid for no matter his age but women get told it’s normal. I have to pay $500 every three months for my hormone pellets.
70% of marriages fail due to the lack of sex (or perceived lack of sex), if it is now bad, it will just go downhill as she ages. Having a kid will cut what you have now in half, if you are lucky. Fix it before you start resenting her.
Time for a girlfriend
prick badge sloppy imagine steer pathetic dime profit instinctive sugar ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
sir. you have a wife problem, not a testosterone problem.
Your wife has low sex drive for a reason. She's not into you, or something is wrong with her or both. Seriously. As for masturbation, she doesn't get to have it both ways. However, masturbation can lead to other problems, so I wouldn't recommend going that route. Her happiness is both of your responsibilities, and your happiness is both of your responsibilities.
I’m thankful I have a partner that is supportive of having an open and honest relationship. I wouldn’t know what to do if I were in OP’s shoes. Masturbation is not cheating. Y’all need to see a couple’s therapist or make some tough choices depending on if there are more concerns in the relationship than just the disconnect on sex.
The only situation I can think of that was worse was when some religious virgin dude called in on Love Line back in like the late nineties and asked Dr Drew about having wet dreams and how to stop them. He didn't believe in masturbation because it was a sin and against his religion. He thought the wet dreams were a sin, so he called into ask how to stop it. Dr. Drew flat out told him it's got to come out one way or another.
You need a marriage counselor
Get new wife, better life.
Do you mean “too* high”. You call once a week a low sex drive? Jeez I’m fucked then (obviously not literally 😩) You call your penis “o’l eye”? And how the fuck is a) masturbation cheating?! What’s taking a piss then, flirting? Washing yourself second base?? So. MUCH. To. Unpack!
I'm on TRT and HCG, and I have zero libido. Sucks.
Desire cannot be negotiated. Let that sink in bro. I’ve been in this boat, it ate me alive. Get yourself a life worth living and a wife worth dying next to.
Get a side chick 🤷♂️
I concur 👍
I suggest a divorce. It’s your wife’s problem, not yours with TRT.
Masturbation isn’t the answer. It’s short term meaningless gratification. It’s not cheating but it’s also not healthy. Also, porn is horrific for your mind and mental well being. STOP WATCHING PORN. Find a new wife. It’s not going to get any better. There is a saying that I firmly believe in, “you can’t send a starving man out into the world every day and expect him not to eat out”. Dump her, workout like a beast, live a healthy lifestyle, find the right woman for you and live the life you deserve.
My situation is very similar. Are you in the first 90 days? Mines stayed high, but it was nuts the first ~90 days.
Have you talked to her about this being an issue? If she is that concerned she really should be willing to at least meet you in the middle. Took a few conversations for my wife to understand but after she did some research she was much more understanding.
Which levels of total testosterone did you have before TRT?
Tell her strongly and firmly your needs aren’t being met and is it cool if you see other women so your sex drive won’t be a burden for her
Beating off is cheating??? Surely there’s a way to do it that is more respectful to your marriage. Maybe no porn? Tell her you’re fapping to her pictures? Lmao
Yeah I am today in your relationship for an issue like this 100% suggest doing it
Run
Does she know you're on TRT? Have you expressed all of your feelings/thoughts about this lack of parity? If not, you should. Does she *enjoy* the once a week? My initial gut reaction is to agree with mostly everyone on here (and I do), but I realize it's more complicated for you and, more likely, her. I suspect she has some hangups from her upbringing that may can be addressed. That would help the situation.
Why lower yours vs increase hers? L-Argenine is a supplement she could add to help and keep it natural
I say masturbate as often as possible and maybe even more often than possible
You need to try and work things out with your wife. A few options would be: - You help her understand that masturbation isn’t cheating. It’s just maintenance like getting a massage or having a glass of wine after a long day. Maybe work it out that you don’t talk about it or do it when she is in the house, so it’s just “your” thing. You could also assure her that it will have no impact on your desire for sex. It’s just a supplement. - You could also talk to her about a “free use” dynamic, where you could use her for sex even if she isn’t in the mood. My wife is going through menopause, so her sex drive is low right now, and mine is always high. We have a free use agreement where I can use her for my pleasure whenever I need it. We wrote up a set of guidelines on any activities, times, locations, etc that are off limits, and then anything else is free reign. The important benefit here is that I don’t have to worry about whether she’s in the mood, and she doesn’t have to feel bad about her horniness not timing up with mine.
What were your numbers before starting?
How long have you been taking T? That crazy drive diminished to manageable level after about 6 weeks. Still highee but not like at first.
Shes not a problem man. Dont listen to the deranged replies telling you to get a divorce. I had a similar issue. The high sex drive drops eventually. How long have you been on?
r/deadbedrooms
How is knocking one off cheating 😂😂😂 Your wife either needs to start throwing it back some more OR you need a new wife Jesus
OP- I didn’t get it much (at all) in my 20s so just lyk it’s not like every guy out there is having all this frequent sex all the time and your the only one whose not
Yeah its not a you problem, it's a her problem. Your sex drive isn't too high, she's just stupid
Gotta get the poison out no way around it brother.
I don’t give a fuck what she considers it. Just bc she don’t wanna get off don’t mean I can’t. I’d wake up n wank it right next to her. Hell one of us gone play with it😂
sex once a week? and you're 26? i'm sorry man but that sounds like a serious problem, that has nothing to do with your trt
Get your wife on trt
Your wife needs to get on board one way or another. If she doesnt you two will never last especially at the age of 26. I was 45 when I started and wanted sex five times or more a week. Luckily, my wife played along as best she could. And yes I still jerk it once or twice a week to relieve the pressure. I’ve been on T for five years now and still want to fcuk daily. T is a blessing and a curse when it comes to sex. It may be best to try to get her on something to increase her libido. Welcome to the party pal!
I am guessing that watching porn is cheating? Ask her to provide fapping material in the form of pix and videos :)
No such thing
Damn bro. Legit feel bad for you. If it's this bad now wait till you're older. Better get the wife fixed or this won't work out.
Get you a new woman
No one should ever be able to shame you for touching your own body bro (in the appropriate settings of course). It's YOUR body, she should have no imposing opinions about what you do or touch on your own body.
Time to find a new wife brother. Being married to a woman like that seems like absolute hell
dump her
Dude has the libido I wish I had (TrT hasn't helped and I'm dialed tf in,) but can't do anything with it. Yikes.
You need a new wife, or just no wife at all.
Eject. It’ll only get worse from here.
When I was 26 my wife was also not really into it, had sex one every week to two weeks. It was HELL for me, my libido was like yours through the roof and I just wanted to get it on. Fast forward I'm now 35 and my libido is shot, and her's is SKY HIGH. I can't keep up.. one of the reasons why I started TRT but it hasn't helped me much so far in that regard. Enjoy while it lasts, and don't worry about your wife she might change once she hits 30. All about timing.
Lowering your libido would be the wrong solution. There are four solutions to this situation. 1 She stops trying to get you to stop masturbating. 2 She has sex with you enough to keep you from needing to masturbate. 3 Something in the middle, where you have sex a few times a week and masturbate as needed. 4 Divorce due to irreconcilable differences. Honestly, if her libido is low trying to make you live by her levels isn't right. You tossing one off has no impact on her. A good partner wouldn't try to control you like that and would instead make sure your needs are taken care of.
I feel your pain. Beat that shit like it owes you money.
I’m sorry but just wanna confirm… you’re **26** and not **62**? Because if no typo then you messed up marrying this chick. Men wanna have sex and she’s keeping you from that. So wrong
What makes this even worse is I bet after a week of not busting your nut, the sex probably only lasts for like 5-10 min, tops! You need those mid-week spank sessions to properly enjoy your weekly visit to the optometrist
No thats normal, see if she can get hrt or have her try out pt-141 peptide!!
No Nut November is going to really suck for you.
This is far beyond a TRT discussion. I’m not sure I can get my head around someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you and yet doesn’t want you to ever masturbate. That is akin to saying I’m not hungry so no one will eat….good luck
I dont think you're the issue here. One nut a week is just not feasible lmao. Also how on earth is relieving YOURSELF cheating?