Post some of your pictures and your bio. Rules #1 and #2 are very important.
Also, your last two openers are better than your first two. Try not to debase yourself or come across as overly humble. Girls like confidence.
Nah there are no low expectations for girls on dating apps, let alone in big cities.
There are a lot of Tinder Profile guides around on Reddit I'm sure you can find.
Gist of it is :
1. High quality picture showing your face and some teeth with good clothing and a nice venue.
2. Maybe you and your dog.
3. You and a friend or two having fun.
4. You at the beach - only if you really got the body for it.
5. You doing something fun.
All high quality pics, selfies are mostly lame.
You are attractive for a guy. I had the most success with the dating apps when I started each chat with the sole objective of making myself laugh, usually by telling a mean joke. You should try that.
Or just aiming too high. Whether he's good looking or not, 8+ girls in their 20's and older ain't looking for a 20yo college kid, not in this economy lol
I don't know why you hate your forehead so much. You should to look at getting a new haircut. It does not compliment your overall look and features. Focus on some pictures where you are smiling. The model look isn't working and makes you look less fun/approachable. You have nice eyes, smile with them.
Good set of pics, I am wondering what sort if editing did you to get the colouring on the second and fifth photos? They look pretty cool
Also go geegees 😝
On the other hand, I'm inclined to think OP cherry picked his best ones to show us.
Cant prove one way or the other, but statistically, he should have had some kind of successful interaction if he knows how to communicate.
I think he's lying for karma. With that match rate, it doesn't even matter what he said. It is an insane match rate for a male.
I have a friend who's very hot, and he just mass messages wanna come over n smash until a girl says yes.
Every line is a bad line..... Seriously it is hard to get more than a LOL out of them at best and then you need to have an actual conversation. Might as well just skip to the conversation.
First one, meh. Second one is really good because it's an action item, as in it gives her the opportunity to say "let's try it" or something. Third, poor. Fourth is decent, it's corny but it ties into something on her profile about construction and OSHA. Fifth is phenomenal because it literally starts off the conversation with something she loves (Pokemon) and allows her to run with the topic. Sixth is comedy gold for us but not exactly an intriguing opener. But I don't think he should be faulted for that since he didn't have anything to really go on.
To be fair, actual conversations lead to penpals when I would talk to guys [29F]. Legit would be down to meet with people all the time but they would often back out and just keep chatting until the convo finally died.
At this point I just think the dating pool is terrible and I've since deleted the apps
He is filtering so he is going to bit slow. So lets call 1s per swipe. That is only 12 hours over 2 years. Pretty easy to do that when watching tv....
Now if there are actually 43k legit people in his city and age range is another question.....
Yes! I think a lot of guys don’t realize this. Most of my girlfriends and I that are on apps don’t like the “lines” or guys trying to have “rizz,” I personally feel like it’s a bit juvenile, inauthentic, and most of the time not even funny. I’m much more inclined to respond to a guy saying hey and mentioning something about my profile or asking me a question or something. But I wouldn’t respond to any of OP’s messages from this post and I’m not surprised other women didn’t either.
This is the way. Pick up lines make the person seem sleezy or just corny. Ive gotten some dad jokes that made me crack up tho. Guy with a good sense of humor goes a long way. Hard to say what specifically is wrong here, but I wouldn't have answered to any of these openers either. It can sometimes come off as desperate ig. Someone asking how I'm doing or share a common interest we have gets my attention real fast. And I'm not picky jerk or anything lol i just like ppl who seem like they have an attitude where they know how to respect women.
Yes, if it’s a funny dad joke that’s good too lol but I agree the pickup lines are soooo corny and desperate. If guys just talked to us like we’re regular people they would likely have more success in the chats.
Yes I ask a question based off the profile or recent ridiculous weather or whatever
Every now and then if I’ve been drinking I may break out “ready to make some terrible decisions?” but that’s a joke anyway
I met my girlfriend on tinder she said a lot of girls download it for fun for like a a weekend then go back to their normal days and delete the app my best success was to set up a date in the for few hours of conversation. Good profile helps you get matches. My cousins strategy was just be a tinder ho. He put he was 6'4 and just slept around lol that worked for him
I feel like 90% of girls use it solely for that reason. Just bored and want some quick and easy validation. Shit like that is why online dating is such garbage.
Definitely use it for entertainment even in girl gangs but don't usually match. Just having fun looking at likes. Stuff like so many likes with doggies just looking at "The Dogs of Tinder". I can't stand Tinder and don't have it anymore lol.
Yep. On bumble or Hinge I might chat for a bit, on Tinder I just ask people out. If they like me, they'll say yes and we'll work it out. If not, they weren't going to say yes because I rizzed them up via text a bit.
Over 400 chats and zero dates is insane to me. Even if you have the worst game in the world I’d expect at least a dozen or more dates out of those numbers.
Tinder stinks I agree with another comment about your hair. It can be a huge challenge having great hair but you could really benefit from finding the right style there.
No dates at all? Hmmm, I’m gonna be honest talking is almost the least important part. My friend had one conversation where they both just named round ingredients. Him - potato, her - tomato, him - orange, you get the jist. He got a date from it as well.
I’m guessing you’re either waiting too long before asking for a date, which was a problem for me as well. It could also be that what you want is not what they want but your profile suggest something different. To me it looks like you don’t want something serious.
Tinder sucks btw. It’s definitely the app with the most unanswered messages where I’m from. I don’t use tinder at all anymore, but as a 20 year old it should be fine probably.
Lol im with you there brother. Im 19, us young dudes gotta compete with dudes 10 years older then us with multiple cars, houses, stable jobs, just for a girl our own age
I’ve been fairly active over the last two years on multiple dating apps in a pretty big city, and honestly i’ve been kind of shocked by the amount of people that completely stonewall their matches. I get that with the ratio of guys to girls on the app in conjunction with male swiping habits (~10x more than girls) it’s easier for girls to collect matches and then be selective afterwards, but after 100+ failed chats i feel a little hopeless. Either no response or talking back and then unmatch. im hoping there is some advice out there for how to more effectively capture a girls attention through text? Do i need to revamp my profile?
You get matches, so the profile is fine (could always be better though). My guess is you're only opening on super hot women with bikini pics. Those women are not on Tinder to actually date. Most of them are there for attention or to hookup with some 9/10 dude.
You could hire a photographer or get a friend to take some more professional looking photos of you but realistically dating apps are just dogshit in general and you're just playing the numbers game. That's the de facto saying but it's true. You'd be better off not really taking it too seriously and trying to put more thought into approaching women irl since you're at the age where you're probably involved with different circles of people or college where it makes it much simpler.
You need to talk to a girl as a person, not someone you’re trying to get out on a date. Before you message anyone tell yourself you are only going to have an enjoyable chat with someone. Literally put out of your mind the hope and intention of getting a date, and you’ll end up with rapport and then dates.
Im also a pretty bad texter - at some point i realised i can just send "Hey, lets meet for a coffe" and been really successful ever since doing this. The thing is when a person matches with you they already are attracted to you in some degree, so as long as you don't say anything weird you shouldn't have a problem getting a date.
by accepting the fact that for every 1 female profile (fake or real) there are 10 real guy profile. by accepting the fact i am not 6 feet blue eyes trust fund ( i am 5.8, brown but in finance and majestic hair and smile 😂) by accepting the fact im better off finding people out in the wild and anything in the dating apps is a extra win. by accepting all these my pick ups are sometimes truly unhinged and in a point of i don’t care if you respond or not. that confidence itself brings me the matches and replies i have theory that women sniff weakness from a mile away!. oh and be selective in your swipes for the algorithm, stick to one type of girls not a wide range , my match rate dropped because only swiping good profiles and not settling but 8/10 match ended in a date. however you risk finding someone in the wild , which was my case but i thoroughly enjoyed my time on the apps. happy swiping!
Literally just crash your grocery cart into a girl's cart. So many ways to make them smile from there. start putting your items in with hers. If you can't transition this into a number secured, you walk away leaving her with your items.
Yeah bro . You're handsome but you're too young for women to care. It sucks but the women in your age bracket aren't looking for what you have to offer right now .
You're 20 . Let's say you can date as low as 18 and as high as 25.
The 18 -19 year olds want guys in their peer group . Other 18-19 year olds .
The 20-25 year olds want 25-30 year old men .🤷🏾♂️
It's not your " Rizz" or whatever the fuck kids are calling game now . It's resources, little brother.
You're attractive enough, smart enough , witty enough but they don't see what they get for interacting with you . Can you take them to nice places or provide them with experiences they can't provide themselves?
No .
Because you're 20 and broke... because most 20 year old dudes are broke . I'm not downing you or anything, and I'm not trying to 'Andrew Tate' you or anything. But say one of those vapid chicks hits you up , what kind of date can you take her on .
Go get pizza cause in the states you can't drink . Maybe go on a walk . Get a cup of coffee ? If you were stretching your money , maybe a decent movie or a dinner for 90 bucks . Once a month?
Well she has 1000 dudes offering her 5 star restaurants in 70 k dollar cars and they'll pay for her Uber back home . 😅
You're still seasoning bro . You're still building. Keep building until you can compete. Unfortunately the apps ruined a generation of people. My advice is to delete the apps and only date women you've met in public until you're about 26 ish . Until then , you're wasting your time because you're competing with guys that offer more benefits than you . It's slowing your progress.
I'm almost certain there must be something in your profile that people don't like.
Like, that they like your photos, but when it's a match they take a second look at your profile and get scared off by something.
Do you have profile text? If yes, what does it say?
I have significantly less matches and chats but more dates. I honestly believe it’s what you’re saying. You’re obviously attractive enough to get 3000 matches.
Try bumble a friend of mine had the same issue, there the girl has to text you first.
And then just be interested and never ask yes or no questions. Good luck my dude, best way is to go out on a Friday night anyway and maybe you’ll meet someone naturally
I think that the best way to get a respose is to just show honest interest in other person and be open about it, that's it! You dont need to think about some pickup lines, bcs they usually are cringe and girls dont generally like if someone is cringy and too pushy , atleast not at the beginning
Some girls don’t mind the lack of small talk && meeting right away. I prefer talking for a bit, getting to know the person a little so it won’t be so awkward in person & can have some things to talk about so it doesn’t feel like I’m meeting a complete stranger that can be a total asshole which could have been avoided with small talk.
As my dad used to say “throw enough shit at the wall and eventually some of it will stick.”
Last one she is fliritng with you. Flirt back, dont get literal
1. Don’t invite someone out in the first message. Girls usually need a bit back and forth before we feel safe to meet someone.
2. Maybe corny pickup lines aren’t working. Ask them about something in their profile. Be curious and make them talk about themselves.
3. Maybe think about whether you are opening the conversation up to a reply. A lot of your messages seem like closed sentences.
Watch your grammar. The content of the first DM was sweet and direct, but “I m” and “taking” would have given me the ick.
You go to Carleton but now you’d be back in your hometown bc school’s over. You don’t have to answer but are you from Toronto? Because if so: it’s not you, it’s the dating scene here.
I would literally stop using tinder if I didnt get a date after 10 chats. I would not swipe more than 500 times. Time to use a new site if it literally doesn’t work for it’s stated purpose. 43000 swipes is insane, I’m not sure I’ve looked at that many people in real life
yikes 433 matches with at least 1 message sent?
I've spent maybe a year as 19M and maybe 50 matches total, maybe 10 actually responded?
Granted I also swipe left on 92%, so probably around the 30k left mark now
That's an exceptional match rate, like probably one of the best I've seen for a male. But you got 0 dates? Hard time believing this isn't karma farming or hard throwing.
Bro I’m damn near 24, just got back on this app and have no fucking clue. It also doesn’t help that half of them are fake accounts. The illusion of exponential choice also ruins everyone’s prospects, be you a 1 or a 10
If you are seriously using Tinder at this point to meet people as a man, you need to get a social life with your interests and get out there. This Reddit alone should show you it’s a sham by now
First of insights on tinder just sounds like a quick blow to the ego🤣🤣 cuz if I were still in the dating game I would NOT want to see my “success” in the dating game and then see that🤣😭 and im sure it’d be different cuz im a girl.. I acknowledge it is a lot harder for men to get the swipes that girls get.. but damn just fucking stab em why don’t you😩😭 and then to have the non answer and the belligerent responses on top of that?! I’d delete the app and start getting involved with my community instead 🤣🤣
The answer is to be cheekier. Also literally could just go with the direct asking out for coffee one. I’m on tinder for hookups to be honest and I can’t tell you how many times the line “We should totally kiss 😁” has worked
Respectfully, OP, you are dooming most of these convos from the start. While you've got the ocassional cute line, you should be encouraging active conversations by asking a question for them to respond to. Try this and see if your results change!
Bro you need to fix something, I'm M23, definitely not conventionally attractive, living in a 20k inhabitants town and I still got a couple of dates, one of which ended up with an ons.
I may have been lucky or maybe it depends of the town, but with more than 400 chats opened I feel like you're doing something wrong
Women can swipe on as many profiles as they want essentially it’s like shopping at build-a-man, it is going to be very hard for you to get a response from women especially if your profile is not top 1% of profiles
Broooooo!
I'm literally laughing at that last one so hard I had a tear roll down my cheek.
What the fuck is she on about??
It's wild out there man.
Just keep being your genuine self.
As long as you keep being 100 with yourself, you've got a better chance of finding the person who matches your vibe. If you get a bit off, you might get matches. But they won't be genuine, and the relationship won't prosper.
We all want to find our person. And that is infinitely easier when we are our authentic selves.
I live right next to a major US west coast city and every girl seems to have half naked selfies, bikini pictures, looking like IG models. It’s rare to see what I consider an unattractive woman’s profile on tinder. Although probably bots profiles mixed in there. I see more normal, average women on hinge. And definitely a small amount of thirst trap profile pictures. But matches don’t mean much, if women don’t message back or take a long time to respond which seems common. So as a result, I’ll usually wait for the women to message first
Arebyou being serious? Did i miss something as a grown up?
Those opening lines will get you nowhere.
Be genuine.
Oh and reply within a few hours or a day, not a couple weeks later.
I used to not get many, because I'd do a pick up line, I made an account 2 weeks ago, and I've gotten more chats that have gone decent then I have ever, and I'll I'd did was sort of not care, I realized not a lot of girls want pick up lines, I've gotten a fee in the past with them, but just look at their profile if there's something there ask about it, if it's something you know ask some questions around it, if it's something you don't ask them to explain some stuff about it, if you show intrest in something they like, you have a higher chance of getting somewhere, I've seen how it is for the ladies I talk to my ex, we're still kinda friends and I got sisters and lady friends, girls will have a lot of attention on them, the thing is you wanna be the in top that stick out, chances are you won't be the only one sticking out for other factors but you wanna atleast get on to a even playing field with others that she's interested in talking to, if you keep talking to them like your interested in a friendly way, you can still flirt just to make sure it doesn't go in a friend way, but the thing about relationships is it's about getting with a best friend, you don't have to share intrest, just show it and talk to each other, like I said when I started just doing that more, I now talking to more girls then I have ever, in the past I would only get so far every few months, but now I hope this opens some people's eyes, sorry for the wall of text, please hit me with, to long didn't read
Are you in college? Blue collar? At 20 I think the formality of dates can be off putting - also, what does your profile look like? That’s the biggest thing
That last pic had me dying laughing. Tinder is so fucking stupid
Lol his response was so funny and she went batshit.
Her response was also hilarious, it just wasn’t meant to be
Same, what a couple of statements (can't call it a conversation lol)
Lmao I’m so confused. Ytf did she react like that when she opened like that?😅
probably auto corrected and she didn't re read
yeah the last screenshot is genuinely funny it made me laugh a bit
Everything about that is baffling. Also it looks like two weeks had passed before he replied?? I'd be confused too
That’s a good point , but she went hamm 😆
Tbf he waited almost a month to reply lol
Came to say the same thing that was witty and funny
LMFAO TRUE
Post some of your pictures and your bio. Rules #1 and #2 are very important. Also, your last two openers are better than your first two. Try not to debase yourself or come across as overly humble. Girls like confidence.
Profile here: i’ve found that a bio, or at least the ones i have chosen have lowered my match %. Have none at the moment
Smile in your first picture. In my opinion get a different haircut, the trapezoid haircut isn't doing you any favors.
He’s matching with 18% of his swipes. It’s not the profile that’s the issue. He’s converted 0 of his chats to dates.
Nearly 4 matches a day is a stat I would kill for. He really just needs to convert more to dates
Yes 💯 haircut needed
Your match rate is so beyond what I'd expect with that kind of profile.. My recommendation is get better pictures
I mean he's pretty good looking. Not look good even when photographed with a potato level but close.
I've seen tons of pretty good looking people get <4% match-rate and not 25%.. 25% match rate for a guy is like top notch.
Data indicates pics are 100% not the problem lol
Well yeah I wouldn't bet on it, something sinister is going on.
Damn 🤣🤣 i guess low expectations in my city, at least for swiping. What would you suggest i include in the updated pictures
Nah there are no low expectations for girls on dating apps, let alone in big cities. There are a lot of Tinder Profile guides around on Reddit I'm sure you can find. Gist of it is : 1. High quality picture showing your face and some teeth with good clothing and a nice venue. 2. Maybe you and your dog. 3. You and a friend or two having fun. 4. You at the beach - only if you really got the body for it. 5. You doing something fun. All high quality pics, selfies are mostly lame.
You are attractive for a guy. I had the most success with the dating apps when I started each chat with the sole objective of making myself laugh, usually by telling a mean joke. You should try that.
> You are attractive for a guy Not sure how to interpret this lol
FunkOff prefers women
Correct.
Damn bro you look good. You must have absolutely no Rizz 😂
Or just aiming too high. Whether he's good looking or not, 8+ girls in their 20's and older ain't looking for a 20yo college kid, not in this economy lol
Is this a joke? You think they're looking to get married?
your profile is great honestly
I don't know why you hate your forehead so much. You should to look at getting a new haircut. It does not compliment your overall look and features. Focus on some pictures where you are smiling. The model look isn't working and makes you look less fun/approachable. You have nice eyes, smile with them.
Good set of pics, I am wondering what sort if editing did you to get the colouring on the second and fifth photos? They look pretty cool Also go geegees 😝
Yeah don't apologize for not knowing or being good at something.
Holy shit 3191 matches and 433 chats. You need to work on your rizz.
That isn't the important metric. The important metric is 433 chats and 0 dates.
Yes, how do you fail 433 times? 20? Sure, even 50. But how do you not learn how to communicate by the 433rd time💀
Looking at these openers, I wouldn't exactly say OP doesn't know how to communicate. It's just that expectations are ridiculous.
On the other hand, I'm inclined to think OP cherry picked his best ones to show us. Cant prove one way or the other, but statistically, he should have had some kind of successful interaction if he knows how to communicate.
One of his best is “Hey!”?? Lmao
I think he's lying for karma. With that match rate, it doesn't even matter what he said. It is an insane match rate for a male. I have a friend who's very hot, and he just mass messages wanna come over n smash until a girl says yes.
Yeah I looked back through after my comment.. they’re not bad lines. Girls are ridiculous nowadays, at least standards or their wants.
Every line is a bad line..... Seriously it is hard to get more than a LOL out of them at best and then you need to have an actual conversation. Might as well just skip to the conversation.
First one, meh. Second one is really good because it's an action item, as in it gives her the opportunity to say "let's try it" or something. Third, poor. Fourth is decent, it's corny but it ties into something on her profile about construction and OSHA. Fifth is phenomenal because it literally starts off the conversation with something she loves (Pokemon) and allows her to run with the topic. Sixth is comedy gold for us but not exactly an intriguing opener. But I don't think he should be faulted for that since he didn't have anything to really go on.
To be fair, actual conversations lead to penpals when I would talk to guys [29F]. Legit would be down to meet with people all the time but they would often back out and just keep chatting until the convo finally died. At this point I just think the dating pool is terrible and I've since deleted the apps
My first thought was how much time it would take to swipe over 43,000 times. I doubt there are that many people on Tinder in most cities.
Because more than half of women's profiles are fake 🙃
He is filtering so he is going to bit slow. So lets call 1s per swipe. That is only 12 hours over 2 years. Pretty easy to do that when watching tv.... Now if there are actually 43k legit people in his city and age range is another question.....
But they aren’t responding back to the even a simple line
I have far more success talking like a normal person than using “lines” fwiw
Yes! I think a lot of guys don’t realize this. Most of my girlfriends and I that are on apps don’t like the “lines” or guys trying to have “rizz,” I personally feel like it’s a bit juvenile, inauthentic, and most of the time not even funny. I’m much more inclined to respond to a guy saying hey and mentioning something about my profile or asking me a question or something. But I wouldn’t respond to any of OP’s messages from this post and I’m not surprised other women didn’t either.
This is the way. Pick up lines make the person seem sleezy or just corny. Ive gotten some dad jokes that made me crack up tho. Guy with a good sense of humor goes a long way. Hard to say what specifically is wrong here, but I wouldn't have answered to any of these openers either. It can sometimes come off as desperate ig. Someone asking how I'm doing or share a common interest we have gets my attention real fast. And I'm not picky jerk or anything lol i just like ppl who seem like they have an attitude where they know how to respect women.
Yes, if it’s a funny dad joke that’s good too lol but I agree the pickup lines are soooo corny and desperate. If guys just talked to us like we’re regular people they would likely have more success in the chats.
Yes I ask a question based off the profile or recent ridiculous weather or whatever Every now and then if I’ve been drinking I may break out “ready to make some terrible decisions?” but that’s a joke anyway
How does tinder know how many dates you have had? Also how does this chart add up casual sex? Edited: spelling
Tinder doesn't know. Everything following chats is self-reported - that is, numbers **claimed** by the individual.
Fair. I honestly wouldn't be able to remember how many dates I have been on. Been using tinder on and off for far too long.
Tinder records front and rear cameras. It’s in the agreement. So they know who’s banging and who’s like this guy..
Maybe he should stick to inches
Even saying 'hey' to those 2758 girls would get his chances way up
Yeah but then he’d have to say something after “hey”
What constitutes a chat? I’m confused what that means, did he literally just ignore the match and not send a message?
Tbf if he's getting left on read all the time then I see why he can't be arsed to send openers to the other 2700+ matches
How to do that
Bro I have zero rizz and I think I could do better than 0/433
I met my girlfriend on tinder she said a lot of girls download it for fun for like a a weekend then go back to their normal days and delete the app my best success was to set up a date in the for few hours of conversation. Good profile helps you get matches. My cousins strategy was just be a tinder ho. He put he was 6'4 and just slept around lol that worked for him
I feel like 90% of girls use it solely for that reason. Just bored and want some quick and easy validation. Shit like that is why online dating is such garbage.
Definitely use it for entertainment even in girl gangs but don't usually match. Just having fun looking at likes. Stuff like so many likes with doggies just looking at "The Dogs of Tinder". I can't stand Tinder and don't have it anymore lol.
Being a tall funny dog helps lol
Yep. On bumble or Hinge I might chat for a bit, on Tinder I just ask people out. If they like me, they'll say yes and we'll work it out. If not, they weren't going to say yes because I rizzed them up via text a bit.
Over 400 chats and zero dates is insane to me. Even if you have the worst game in the world I’d expect at least a dozen or more dates out of those numbers.
Do chats where there was no response count? Where he sends an opener like "hey" and no response?
Yup, any message turns it from a match to a chat
Tinder stinks I agree with another comment about your hair. It can be a huge challenge having great hair but you could really benefit from finding the right style there.
A dozen? Lol a dozen dates from 400 chats would be better than average
No dates at all? Hmmm, I’m gonna be honest talking is almost the least important part. My friend had one conversation where they both just named round ingredients. Him - potato, her - tomato, him - orange, you get the jist. He got a date from it as well. I’m guessing you’re either waiting too long before asking for a date, which was a problem for me as well. It could also be that what you want is not what they want but your profile suggest something different. To me it looks like you don’t want something serious. Tinder sucks btw. It’s definitely the app with the most unanswered messages where I’m from. I don’t use tinder at all anymore, but as a 20 year old it should be fine probably.
Lol im with you there brother. Im 19, us young dudes gotta compete with dudes 10 years older then us with multiple cars, houses, stable jobs, just for a girl our own age
I do think this is a big part of it - dating got substantially easier for me in late 20s / early 30s (still hard tho!)
What the fuck? 3191 matches in 2 years, those are like 130 matches per month holy shit
You guys get matches???
I’ve been fairly active over the last two years on multiple dating apps in a pretty big city, and honestly i’ve been kind of shocked by the amount of people that completely stonewall their matches. I get that with the ratio of guys to girls on the app in conjunction with male swiping habits (~10x more than girls) it’s easier for girls to collect matches and then be selective afterwards, but after 100+ failed chats i feel a little hopeless. Either no response or talking back and then unmatch. im hoping there is some advice out there for how to more effectively capture a girls attention through text? Do i need to revamp my profile?
You get matches, so the profile is fine (could always be better though). My guess is you're only opening on super hot women with bikini pics. Those women are not on Tinder to actually date. Most of them are there for attention or to hookup with some 9/10 dude.
You could hire a photographer or get a friend to take some more professional looking photos of you but realistically dating apps are just dogshit in general and you're just playing the numbers game. That's the de facto saying but it's true. You'd be better off not really taking it too seriously and trying to put more thought into approaching women irl since you're at the age where you're probably involved with different circles of people or college where it makes it much simpler.
I just hit them with basic shit lol worked pretty well for me while I was on there
Well you have no game
It's tough to be Canuck in 2024.
Especially in the city he's in aka, my city, it sucks
You need to talk to a girl as a person, not someone you’re trying to get out on a date. Before you message anyone tell yourself you are only going to have an enjoyable chat with someone. Literally put out of your mind the hope and intention of getting a date, and you’ll end up with rapport and then dates.
This is it 100%
433 chats and no dates is just a skill issue at this point
You're 20 and swiped over 40k times? Dude. Put the phone down for a while, walk outside and stop staring at a screen. You'll thank me when you're 30.
I get responses in most of my matches and I only use this opener. Whatever there name is than three exclamation points, like luara!!!
This binary tree sucks. I feel it in my soul :(
Im also a pretty bad texter - at some point i realised i can just send "Hey, lets meet for a coffe" and been really successful ever since doing this. The thing is when a person matches with you they already are attracted to you in some degree, so as long as you don't say anything weird you shouldn't have a problem getting a date.
That last one 💀
by accepting the fact that for every 1 female profile (fake or real) there are 10 real guy profile. by accepting the fact i am not 6 feet blue eyes trust fund ( i am 5.8, brown but in finance and majestic hair and smile 😂) by accepting the fact im better off finding people out in the wild and anything in the dating apps is a extra win. by accepting all these my pick ups are sometimes truly unhinged and in a point of i don’t care if you respond or not. that confidence itself brings me the matches and replies i have theory that women sniff weakness from a mile away!. oh and be selective in your swipes for the algorithm, stick to one type of girls not a wide range , my match rate dropped because only swiping good profiles and not settling but 8/10 match ended in a date. however you risk finding someone in the wild , which was my case but i thoroughly enjoyed my time on the apps. happy swiping!
Literally just crash your grocery cart into a girl's cart. So many ways to make them smile from there. start putting your items in with hers. If you can't transition this into a number secured, you walk away leaving her with your items.
^ this guy fucks
Suggested message: "Which Harry Potter house are you?" WTF IS THIS SH*T💀
Haters can't stand the fact that he's pondering
Bro delete tinder hit the gym and focus on your goals
His battery life was driving me more nuts than the convos
If it's any consolation, us older guys have the same issue ha
Yeah bro . You're handsome but you're too young for women to care. It sucks but the women in your age bracket aren't looking for what you have to offer right now . You're 20 . Let's say you can date as low as 18 and as high as 25. The 18 -19 year olds want guys in their peer group . Other 18-19 year olds . The 20-25 year olds want 25-30 year old men .🤷🏾♂️ It's not your " Rizz" or whatever the fuck kids are calling game now . It's resources, little brother. You're attractive enough, smart enough , witty enough but they don't see what they get for interacting with you . Can you take them to nice places or provide them with experiences they can't provide themselves? No . Because you're 20 and broke... because most 20 year old dudes are broke . I'm not downing you or anything, and I'm not trying to 'Andrew Tate' you or anything. But say one of those vapid chicks hits you up , what kind of date can you take her on . Go get pizza cause in the states you can't drink . Maybe go on a walk . Get a cup of coffee ? If you were stretching your money , maybe a decent movie or a dinner for 90 bucks . Once a month? Well she has 1000 dudes offering her 5 star restaurants in 70 k dollar cars and they'll pay for her Uber back home . 😅 You're still seasoning bro . You're still building. Keep building until you can compete. Unfortunately the apps ruined a generation of people. My advice is to delete the apps and only date women you've met in public until you're about 26 ish . Until then , you're wasting your time because you're competing with guys that offer more benefits than you . It's slowing your progress.
I'm almost certain there must be something in your profile that people don't like. Like, that they like your photos, but when it's a match they take a second look at your profile and get scared off by something. Do you have profile text? If yes, what does it say?
I have significantly less matches and chats but more dates. I honestly believe it’s what you’re saying. You’re obviously attractive enough to get 3000 matches.
idk but girls get so many likes it's exhausting you can easily get lost in the shuffle
[удалено]
Try bumble a friend of mine had the same issue, there the girl has to text you first. And then just be interested and never ask yes or no questions. Good luck my dude, best way is to go out on a Friday night anyway and maybe you’ll meet someone naturally
That's the neat part, I don't.
I think that the best way to get a respose is to just show honest interest in other person and be open about it, that's it! You dont need to think about some pickup lines, bcs they usually are cringe and girls dont generally like if someone is cringy and too pushy , atleast not at the beginning
53 swipes per day? Get out and try to meet a woman in person. Much better odds
OSHA one is pretty good. IMO
Ok, note this This is my everytime openner
Gotta work on your game my guy. It's that simple. You're a good looking dude but your game is off.
Im not
Honestly tinder is just trash
Bro is getting a match almost every 4 swipes. Lucky bastard.
Some girls don’t mind the lack of small talk && meeting right away. I prefer talking for a bit, getting to know the person a little so it won’t be so awkward in person & can have some things to talk about so it doesn’t feel like I’m meeting a complete stranger that can be a total asshole which could have been avoided with small talk.
How do you do this tinder insight map?
As my dad used to say “throw enough shit at the wall and eventually some of it will stick.” Last one she is fliritng with you. Flirt back, dont get literal
1. Don’t invite someone out in the first message. Girls usually need a bit back and forth before we feel safe to meet someone. 2. Maybe corny pickup lines aren’t working. Ask them about something in their profile. Be curious and make them talk about themselves. 3. Maybe think about whether you are opening the conversation up to a reply. A lot of your messages seem like closed sentences.
Based on the pics of the people you are trying to get at, they are all fake as shit and not serious about a relationship
19% match rate is REALLY good. Average dude gets 3. You need to work on your chat game.
Man... you'd probably have better luck just going to talk to girls at bars.
you’re hilarious bro 😂 “might as well be yelling your name” actually made me lol
Watch your grammar. The content of the first DM was sweet and direct, but “I m” and “taking” would have given me the ick. You go to Carleton but now you’d be back in your hometown bc school’s over. You don’t have to answer but are you from Toronto? Because if so: it’s not you, it’s the dating scene here.
No game
I would literally stop using tinder if I didnt get a date after 10 chats. I would not swipe more than 500 times. Time to use a new site if it literally doesn’t work for it’s stated purpose. 43000 swipes is insane, I’m not sure I’ve looked at that many people in real life
Pretty insane wtf
About the same as you, if I get a match I send a message and never get anything back
How in the hell are you getting so many matches??? But to answer your question, I dont
yikes 433 matches with at least 1 message sent? I've spent maybe a year as 19M and maybe 50 matches total, maybe 10 actually responded? Granted I also swipe left on 92%, so probably around the 30k left mark now
I dont get any
Facebook dating is better
I'm not
That's an exceptional match rate, like probably one of the best I've seen for a male. But you got 0 dates? Hard time believing this isn't karma farming or hard throwing.
Bro I’m damn near 24, just got back on this app and have no fucking clue. It also doesn’t help that half of them are fake accounts. The illusion of exponential choice also ruins everyone’s prospects, be you a 1 or a 10
If you are seriously using Tinder at this point to meet people as a man, you need to get a social life with your interests and get out there. This Reddit alone should show you it’s a sham by now
Who said we get a response? We don't
i remember when i was 20 got so much likes but that was after gym taking care of skin and just overall being confident
You guys are messaging?
I dunno man, you're funnier than I am. Good luck
I'm not
Most of them are out of your league bro, u need to trim the fat. I'm actually amazed u got that many matches to begin with
It might be time to ditch tinder at this point man. Sometimes you gotta listen when life is trying to tell you something and let go.
Just focus on school/work, you can get girls when you're older
Do Hinge instead. tinder got me laid a few times but was mostly a waste of time. Hinge got me laid a bunch and then I met the love of my life
I mean you don’t have bad openers but maybe try something more simple like a compliment, I get plenty of matches and chats
Women: "it's like not easier for women omg"
Well I think you come across a little aggressive/ eager for a first message. Also a spelling and grammar issue can stop things in their tracks.
First of insights on tinder just sounds like a quick blow to the ego🤣🤣 cuz if I were still in the dating game I would NOT want to see my “success” in the dating game and then see that🤣😭 and im sure it’d be different cuz im a girl.. I acknowledge it is a lot harder for men to get the swipes that girls get.. but damn just fucking stab em why don’t you😩😭 and then to have the non answer and the belligerent responses on top of that?! I’d delete the app and start getting involved with my community instead 🤣🤣
The answer is to be cheekier. Also literally could just go with the direct asking out for coffee one. I’m on tinder for hookups to be honest and I can’t tell you how many times the line “We should totally kiss 😁” has worked
Your game must be catastrophic
I usually dont get a response
Respectfully, OP, you are dooming most of these convos from the start. While you've got the ocassional cute line, you should be encouraging active conversations by asking a question for them to respond to. Try this and see if your results change!
Bro u gotta just hope a girl likes ur pics and u get a match then u gotta hope she fw the message u sent tbh its all luck bro its nothing u can do
I don't lmao
I wish I had any chats
You guys are getting replies?
Bro you need to fix something, I'm M23, definitely not conventionally attractive, living in a 20k inhabitants town and I still got a couple of dates, one of which ended up with an ons. I may have been lucky or maybe it depends of the town, but with more than 400 chats opened I feel like you're doing something wrong
Women can swipe on as many profiles as they want essentially it’s like shopping at build-a-man, it is going to be very hard for you to get a response from women especially if your profile is not top 1% of profiles
Broooooo! I'm literally laughing at that last one so hard I had a tear roll down my cheek. What the fuck is she on about?? It's wild out there man. Just keep being your genuine self. As long as you keep being 100 with yourself, you've got a better chance of finding the person who matches your vibe. If you get a bit off, you might get matches. But they won't be genuine, and the relationship won't prosper. We all want to find our person. And that is infinitely easier when we are our authentic selves.
I don't.
I gotta see your profile lmao. No way you didn’t have red flags for that last message
I live right next to a major US west coast city and every girl seems to have half naked selfies, bikini pictures, looking like IG models. It’s rare to see what I consider an unattractive woman’s profile on tinder. Although probably bots profiles mixed in there. I see more normal, average women on hinge. And definitely a small amount of thirst trap profile pictures. But matches don’t mean much, if women don’t message back or take a long time to respond which seems common. So as a result, I’ll usually wait for the women to message first
So, you're 20 and have been on Tinder for 2 years... Is it that hard to meet people when you're 18 nowadays?
How do you find this on your profile? I'm interested in the ratio of swipes etc
Arebyou being serious? Did i miss something as a grown up? Those opening lines will get you nowhere. Be genuine. Oh and reply within a few hours or a day, not a couple weeks later.
Not
I don't... Had like 3 actual conversations. Other than that, it'd be better if they didn't answer or talk to me at all
What the fuck are you on about????
u gotta be at least average looking, and say something crazy, they always reply
I used to not get many, because I'd do a pick up line, I made an account 2 weeks ago, and I've gotten more chats that have gone decent then I have ever, and I'll I'd did was sort of not care, I realized not a lot of girls want pick up lines, I've gotten a fee in the past with them, but just look at their profile if there's something there ask about it, if it's something you know ask some questions around it, if it's something you don't ask them to explain some stuff about it, if you show intrest in something they like, you have a higher chance of getting somewhere, I've seen how it is for the ladies I talk to my ex, we're still kinda friends and I got sisters and lady friends, girls will have a lot of attention on them, the thing is you wanna be the in top that stick out, chances are you won't be the only one sticking out for other factors but you wanna atleast get on to a even playing field with others that she's interested in talking to, if you keep talking to them like your interested in a friendly way, you can still flirt just to make sure it doesn't go in a friend way, but the thing about relationships is it's about getting with a best friend, you don't have to share intrest, just show it and talk to each other, like I said when I started just doing that more, I now talking to more girls then I have ever, in the past I would only get so far every few months, but now I hope this opens some people's eyes, sorry for the wall of text, please hit me with, to long didn't read
Are you in college? Blue collar? At 20 I think the formality of dates can be off putting - also, what does your profile look like? That’s the biggest thing
It's easy, be a Chad, have lots of money and ask to fuck.
Yeah, I've Given up with this BS.... I either get no reply or I get a👋 emoji. Smh not wasting my time anymore.
I almost never get a response in any of the apps😔
How did you get that breakdown?