Context: I am big, hairy biker with partial tattoo sleeves.
I once was out somewhere on my motorcycle and saw a kid eyeing my bike. Happens frequently and I not so secretly love it. I went over and said to the kid, while making eye contact with the parents, "do you want to sit on my motorcycle so your parents can take your picture"? The kid was ecstatic, the parents thanked me, and all was good. I have a little rubber duck with a plastic motorcycle helmet on my handlebars that I took off and gave the kid (I buy these in bulk specifically for this purpose) and they went about their day after thanking me again.
I was getting ready to leave myself when some lady decided to come tell me how creepy I was and how I shouldn't approach kids ever. And behind her was a group of folks she was presumably with all also giving me the stinkeye.
Like, bitch, just because I'm a guy I can't be nice to kids and enjoy seeing them smile? I have six niblings and am great with kids! Plus, this one in particular is now having the day of his life and his parents supervised and approved of the entire encounter! And it pisses me off because if I were a woman no one would think my talking to a kid is creepy, but because I'm a guy I'm apparently not allowed to be friendly to children. Fucking dumb!
I am very sorry and also insanely pissed about that happening to you.
I'm tired of busybodies who automatically assume that the small number of men who shouldn't be around children are representative of all men, and feel like they have the right to question all men's actions and call it creepy when a man talks with a child. It makes me wonder how they'd feel if a child they loved got lost and the only adult around willing to take time to help him or her get back to their parents was a man.
I've been in a similar situation. In a past life I worked at the snack bar of a big retail chain. A woman was caught shoplifting. A LOT of merchandise. Like into grand larceny territory. She was using her stroller, with her kid inside it, to hide the goods.
Cops came and she was being arrested (apparently she put up some sort of fight and escalated matters.) But the kid still needs to be taken care of. The cops couldn't reach the father so CPS was called and in the meantime the kid was on his own. He was four or five, I think.
The store manager brought him over to the snack bar and told me that the snack bar was now closed and that I should hang out with this kid and watch a movie on the snack bar TV with him. So I hung with the little dude, we went to the electronics department and he picked a movie, we grabbed some candy, and half-watched a movie while he told me about bears. I specifically remember that he really liked bears. I just kept him engaged in conversation and kept him preoccupied and happy until the social workers got there to sort things out with him.
No idea what happened after that in little dude's life but for a brief moment, I was all he had and I made damn sure he was a happy kid during that time.
I discovered my father’s body about a week and a half after he died. I had an extremely complicated relationship with my father for a lot of reasons. But, long story short, for about two weeks after I was really raw and would start crying on occasion. Basically every woman in my life including my mother and mother in law said that a man shouldn’t cry like that.
I discovered a decaying body that used to be my father and I was told not to cry about it. None of those women had experienced anything even vaguely similar to that.
You deserved empathy and help healing. I am so sorry you were callously denied that, especially by people who should have been your first responders in your grieving.
I kept applying to a specific government job that I was very qualified for and my wife was employed at this particular agency. They kept hiring these young girls (I was 26m at the time) that were barely qualified for the position. I had put in about 20 applications over the years when the jobs would come up. Finally my wife went into HR and asked why I never got called for the position and they told her they did not want men working in this agency. I had spent so much time doing resumes, cover letters, bettering my credentials, and it was all for nothing as my dick was making sure I could not get hired. Worth noting is that I would not be working with my wife as there were many locations in the region and I never applied to her site.
Example? I only ask because in my trade experience, policing, construction, etc. I have found that because there is such a shortage of females, the ones that do apply almost always get the job, even if vastly outnumbered by male applicants. There have been studies in STEM as well that while it remains a male dominated field, female applicants are 2.5 times more likely to get the position when competing with equally qualified males.
God no! Almost all of my bosses from franchise owners, at Canadian Tire, Sobeys, to directors and CEOs at my health system, to my current position in a government commission where the majority of managers and directors are female. I see absolutely no glass ceiling across any of my employment current and past.
I have had some girls I don't know grab my penis, sometimes I wonder if I should of made big deal out of it and had them arrested for sexually harassing me but instead I just moved along with my life.
27M, this happened a few years ago. I was working at an in-store Starbucks, had two pretty crazy things go down. First one was on a Sunday. I had 3 older women dressed in their nicest church clothes come up and start making comments as they ordered their drinks. Things about how “tasty” I looked, how much they’d like to try me, things like that. One grabbed my hand as they went to pay and tried to hold onto it but I slipped out. Kept a smile on and just got to making their drinks. As I was making their drinks one asked how much it would cost for me to go home with them. I took it as a joke but all three kept sort of leaning into it, being very persistent. I just kept trying to laugh it off and make the drinks as fast as possible so they could leave. Naturally they then sat in the small dining space and watched me until they finished their drinks and left.
The second happened at this same job. There was a girl that worked in the store part, not the Starbucks, and she had a bit of a thing for me but I was very much not interested. It was small little comments at first and I took that as pretty harmless. One day I head to the freezer (Starbucks and the store shared one) to grab some sandwiches and I turn to find she had entered the freezer as well. I said hi and went to leave but she stepped in front of me and immediately started groping my crotch with this wide smile on her face. I froze there for a second but managed to step around her and get out. Went to my manager (a male) and explained what happened. He said something along the lines of “I don’t see the problem, you’re a guy aren’t you?” I quit a couple weeks later.
These are only two of the things I’ve experienced. It’s unfortunate but I know guys who have been through much much worse. I’ll never ever be someone who thinks women don’t have it rough with how guys can be, some of us can be complete trash humans who do terrible unspeakable things. I just want to get to a point where people accept that anyone could do this sort of thing. I don’t see how we could fix the problem until everyone works together instead of this crazy divide of “who has it worse”.
One time I asked a woman out at work, (respectfully of course) and she told HR and I almost got fired and was told to stay the hell away or I would be terminated on the spot
I was in a grocery store and I texted my wife “pork spare ribs are on sale for $1.49/lb” and with no questions asked she responded with “get all of them.”
That is a mistake I made, yes, but I’m going to decide the pretend that was the question and keep living in this fantasy world where I got to brag about how cool my wife is.
I do appreciate you bringing this to my attention though.
I was a teenager babysitting for family friends at a party. I'm maybe 13 holding a toddler and a grown man I did not know says " you'll be a good mom, you have mother bearing hips" I don't know if that qualifies as sexist, but it was certainly inappropriate. So much so, 40 years later I still remember it.
Oh my peers had a field day with me in middle school. I went from nubs to DD seemingly over the summer. Whenever anyone mentioned it, my response was always " at least my kids will be well fed" And he was lol
I asked a place if they were hiring (not a job that required looks), and they told me to speak to the manager. He looked me up and down -- specifically at my boobs -- and said "But you would have to pad those up". I tried to talk to the manager above him to complain and they said "he's just a subcontractor" and they don't get involved. So I didn't get the job and they didn't care at all.
I don't think it's the sexist thing but the most memorable sexy thing was playing the Forest with a friend I had been casually flirting heavily with and becoming her "little logging bitch-girl". That was a really weird friendship in hindsight.
I was at a bar drinking with a couple buddies on new years. Waiting to use the bathroom, 15* minute line, and I started talking to the girls behind me. I pointed out to one that her breast had bounced out of her dress when she turned. Queue me getting bitched at by her sister about how I was a creep.
This is lame but I don't really engage with humans much since I left home. When I was a tween my mom had a friend babysitting me after school. I was FORCED to be outside when she changed her female kids diaper.
This is the only time someone actually even cared who was around when changing a diaper in my life.
Oh! How about it took 6 years to get a good morning from a women in Minneapolis? You know how like walking and saying good morning at someone who made eye contact with you or while waiting at a bus stop.
I'm a 5'3 dude that kinda looks like a biker tho(long blond hair 3 day old facial hair. Maybe I look like an incel or a rapist? Idk
Edit
I forgot one. Went to a small rock concert (think like 150 max capacity). Dude didn't even touch the women but he to touched my balls/dick and didn't appreciate my "ask me out 1st next time" comment.
I think it can be difficult for guys who are genuinely interested in doing so, be it in a platonic/friendly way or in a genuinely interested in a relationship kind of way, to get on well with women without being accused of being creeps, even if the woman is interested in or open in being friends or a relationship.
I was playing with my daughter (about 4 at the time) at the park and some random Karen came up and said it was creepy to see a guy playing with a little girl. I'm not a violent man but my metal was tested that day.
I've been both a woman and a man (I'm a trans man/FTM) so I've got a bit of both experiences.
Before I transitioned I definitely had the typical sexism of having random guys hit on me (ex. a guy that parked behind me so I couldn't get out of my parking spot and came up to my window to talk with me and try to get my number. Another guy who tried to pump my gas and clean my window for me when I wasn't struggling at all), catcalling, clients at work not taking me seriously and waiting until my male cowokers told them the information.
After I transitioned I still get sexism, but it looks different. A lot of the time women will cross the street if they see me coming (I look every bit like the bald, hairy 30y/o that I am). There was one woman in particular while I was out on a walk around my neighborhood that was walking with her two kids and practically threw herself and the kids off the sidewalk as I was coming and glared at me as I passed (mind you, it was like... 4 in the afternoon, bright as day with other people around). I also get it at my apartment's gym. Women looking really uncomfortable if it's just me and her there even tho I am in no way looking in her direction, I'm just trying to sweat on the stair-stepper.
Edit: I can say as a woman the sexism made me feel physically unsafe whereas as a man it's more hurtful. Being treated like you're a potential predator on sight stings.
Context: I am big, hairy biker with partial tattoo sleeves. I once was out somewhere on my motorcycle and saw a kid eyeing my bike. Happens frequently and I not so secretly love it. I went over and said to the kid, while making eye contact with the parents, "do you want to sit on my motorcycle so your parents can take your picture"? The kid was ecstatic, the parents thanked me, and all was good. I have a little rubber duck with a plastic motorcycle helmet on my handlebars that I took off and gave the kid (I buy these in bulk specifically for this purpose) and they went about their day after thanking me again. I was getting ready to leave myself when some lady decided to come tell me how creepy I was and how I shouldn't approach kids ever. And behind her was a group of folks she was presumably with all also giving me the stinkeye. Like, bitch, just because I'm a guy I can't be nice to kids and enjoy seeing them smile? I have six niblings and am great with kids! Plus, this one in particular is now having the day of his life and his parents supervised and approved of the entire encounter! And it pisses me off because if I were a woman no one would think my talking to a kid is creepy, but because I'm a guy I'm apparently not allowed to be friendly to children. Fucking dumb!
I was so confused by this post until I realized the OP said "sexist" rather than "sexiest."
SAME
SAME
I am very sorry and also insanely pissed about that happening to you. I'm tired of busybodies who automatically assume that the small number of men who shouldn't be around children are representative of all men, and feel like they have the right to question all men's actions and call it creepy when a man talks with a child. It makes me wonder how they'd feel if a child they loved got lost and the only adult around willing to take time to help him or her get back to their parents was a man.
I've been in a similar situation. In a past life I worked at the snack bar of a big retail chain. A woman was caught shoplifting. A LOT of merchandise. Like into grand larceny territory. She was using her stroller, with her kid inside it, to hide the goods. Cops came and she was being arrested (apparently she put up some sort of fight and escalated matters.) But the kid still needs to be taken care of. The cops couldn't reach the father so CPS was called and in the meantime the kid was on his own. He was four or five, I think. The store manager brought him over to the snack bar and told me that the snack bar was now closed and that I should hang out with this kid and watch a movie on the snack bar TV with him. So I hung with the little dude, we went to the electronics department and he picked a movie, we grabbed some candy, and half-watched a movie while he told me about bears. I specifically remember that he really liked bears. I just kept him engaged in conversation and kept him preoccupied and happy until the social workers got there to sort things out with him. No idea what happened after that in little dude's life but for a brief moment, I was all he had and I made damn sure he was a happy kid during that time.
I discovered my father’s body about a week and a half after he died. I had an extremely complicated relationship with my father for a lot of reasons. But, long story short, for about two weeks after I was really raw and would start crying on occasion. Basically every woman in my life including my mother and mother in law said that a man shouldn’t cry like that. I discovered a decaying body that used to be my father and I was told not to cry about it. None of those women had experienced anything even vaguely similar to that.
I'm so sorry for your loss : of a father and women... Hugs from an across-the-globe G-MA
Thank you
You deserved empathy and help healing. I am so sorry you were callously denied that, especially by people who should have been your first responders in your grieving.
Thank you
I kept applying to a specific government job that I was very qualified for and my wife was employed at this particular agency. They kept hiring these young girls (I was 26m at the time) that were barely qualified for the position. I had put in about 20 applications over the years when the jobs would come up. Finally my wife went into HR and asked why I never got called for the position and they told her they did not want men working in this agency. I had spent so much time doing resumes, cover letters, bettering my credentials, and it was all for nothing as my dick was making sure I could not get hired. Worth noting is that I would not be working with my wife as there were many locations in the region and I never applied to her site.
Not always but I've noticed when a place is majority female, it tends to stay that way.
And vice versa
Example? I only ask because in my trade experience, policing, construction, etc. I have found that because there is such a shortage of females, the ones that do apply almost always get the job, even if vastly outnumbered by male applicants. There have been studies in STEM as well that while it remains a male dominated field, female applicants are 2.5 times more likely to get the position when competing with equally qualified males.
So, you think that women don't have a glass ceiling? 🤔
God no! Almost all of my bosses from franchise owners, at Canadian Tire, Sobeys, to directors and CEOs at my health system, to my current position in a government commission where the majority of managers and directors are female. I see absolutely no glass ceiling across any of my employment current and past.
Am I getting down voted because I've seen tons of women in very powerful high paying jobs?
I have had some girls I don't know grab my penis, sometimes I wonder if I should of made big deal out of it and had them arrested for sexually harassing me but instead I just moved along with my life.
Probably the time I was told I couldn't be a victim because my assailant was female.
27M, this happened a few years ago. I was working at an in-store Starbucks, had two pretty crazy things go down. First one was on a Sunday. I had 3 older women dressed in their nicest church clothes come up and start making comments as they ordered their drinks. Things about how “tasty” I looked, how much they’d like to try me, things like that. One grabbed my hand as they went to pay and tried to hold onto it but I slipped out. Kept a smile on and just got to making their drinks. As I was making their drinks one asked how much it would cost for me to go home with them. I took it as a joke but all three kept sort of leaning into it, being very persistent. I just kept trying to laugh it off and make the drinks as fast as possible so they could leave. Naturally they then sat in the small dining space and watched me until they finished their drinks and left. The second happened at this same job. There was a girl that worked in the store part, not the Starbucks, and she had a bit of a thing for me but I was very much not interested. It was small little comments at first and I took that as pretty harmless. One day I head to the freezer (Starbucks and the store shared one) to grab some sandwiches and I turn to find she had entered the freezer as well. I said hi and went to leave but she stepped in front of me and immediately started groping my crotch with this wide smile on her face. I froze there for a second but managed to step around her and get out. Went to my manager (a male) and explained what happened. He said something along the lines of “I don’t see the problem, you’re a guy aren’t you?” I quit a couple weeks later.
Man if I did that to a woman I would be facing criminal charges and i would be barred from the place.
These are only two of the things I’ve experienced. It’s unfortunate but I know guys who have been through much much worse. I’ll never ever be someone who thinks women don’t have it rough with how guys can be, some of us can be complete trash humans who do terrible unspeakable things. I just want to get to a point where people accept that anyone could do this sort of thing. I don’t see how we could fix the problem until everyone works together instead of this crazy divide of “who has it worse”.
One time I asked a woman out at work, (respectfully of course) and she told HR and I almost got fired and was told to stay the hell away or I would be terminated on the spot
I mean, actual proven rapists rarely face punishment so like, probably not. The system doesn't really deliver justice to SA victims - male or female.
I was in a grocery store and I texted my wife “pork spare ribs are on sale for $1.49/lb” and with no questions asked she responded with “get all of them.”
I assume you also misread sexist as sexiest
That is a mistake I made, yes, but I’m going to decide the pretend that was the question and keep living in this fantasy world where I got to brag about how cool my wife is. I do appreciate you bringing this to my attention though.
Some lady told me that I shouldn’t be taking my daughter (9) to get bras. I’m her dad.
I was a teenager babysitting for family friends at a party. I'm maybe 13 holding a toddler and a grown man I did not know says " you'll be a good mom, you have mother bearing hips" I don't know if that qualifies as sexist, but it was certainly inappropriate. So much so, 40 years later I still remember it.
I was told that as a teenage boy 😭
Yyyyyup.
I got that in 3rd grade by other 3rd graders. Who even teaches kids this stuff?
Oh my peers had a field day with me in middle school. I went from nubs to DD seemingly over the summer. Whenever anyone mentioned it, my response was always " at least my kids will be well fed" And he was lol
I asked a place if they were hiring (not a job that required looks), and they told me to speak to the manager. He looked me up and down -- specifically at my boobs -- and said "But you would have to pad those up". I tried to talk to the manager above him to complain and they said "he's just a subcontractor" and they don't get involved. So I didn't get the job and they didn't care at all.
[удалено]
Happens all the time at the gym. Men go up to men and say looking big! Good vibes
I never went to gym
I don't think it's the sexist thing but the most memorable sexy thing was playing the Forest with a friend I had been casually flirting heavily with and becoming her "little logging bitch-girl". That was a really weird friendship in hindsight.
I was at a bar drinking with a couple buddies on new years. Waiting to use the bathroom, 15* minute line, and I started talking to the girls behind me. I pointed out to one that her breast had bounced out of her dress when she turned. Queue me getting bitched at by her sister about how I was a creep.
Jeez, I misread the question as “the most sexiest thing” and I was terribly confused by all these stories.
This is lame but I don't really engage with humans much since I left home. When I was a tween my mom had a friend babysitting me after school. I was FORCED to be outside when she changed her female kids diaper. This is the only time someone actually even cared who was around when changing a diaper in my life. Oh! How about it took 6 years to get a good morning from a women in Minneapolis? You know how like walking and saying good morning at someone who made eye contact with you or while waiting at a bus stop. I'm a 5'3 dude that kinda looks like a biker tho(long blond hair 3 day old facial hair. Maybe I look like an incel or a rapist? Idk Edit I forgot one. Went to a small rock concert (think like 150 max capacity). Dude didn't even touch the women but he to touched my balls/dick and didn't appreciate my "ask me out 1st next time" comment.
I think it can be difficult for guys who are genuinely interested in doing so, be it in a platonic/friendly way or in a genuinely interested in a relationship kind of way, to get on well with women without being accused of being creeps, even if the woman is interested in or open in being friends or a relationship.
I was playing with my daughter (about 4 at the time) at the park and some random Karen came up and said it was creepy to see a guy playing with a little girl. I'm not a violent man but my metal was tested that day.
Girl told me i had a nice looking dick. I felt sexualized...
I'm sorry but I'm confused. This girl saw your dick in a non-sexual situation?
That's not sexism
I've been both a woman and a man (I'm a trans man/FTM) so I've got a bit of both experiences. Before I transitioned I definitely had the typical sexism of having random guys hit on me (ex. a guy that parked behind me so I couldn't get out of my parking spot and came up to my window to talk with me and try to get my number. Another guy who tried to pump my gas and clean my window for me when I wasn't struggling at all), catcalling, clients at work not taking me seriously and waiting until my male cowokers told them the information. After I transitioned I still get sexism, but it looks different. A lot of the time women will cross the street if they see me coming (I look every bit like the bald, hairy 30y/o that I am). There was one woman in particular while I was out on a walk around my neighborhood that was walking with her two kids and practically threw herself and the kids off the sidewalk as I was coming and glared at me as I passed (mind you, it was like... 4 in the afternoon, bright as day with other people around). I also get it at my apartment's gym. Women looking really uncomfortable if it's just me and her there even tho I am in no way looking in her direction, I'm just trying to sweat on the stair-stepper. Edit: I can say as a woman the sexism made me feel physically unsafe whereas as a man it's more hurtful. Being treated like you're a potential predator on sight stings.