Although I’m a guy and I believe guys can’t really talk for women at all, I will say that my last long time girlfriend, had ended up with a kinda estranged relationship with her mom because of that exact reason. Her mom, she remembers very fondly as a kid, but after puberty my ex had gotten a lot of attention from people and had noticed a change in her mom’s behavior. She began “favoring” her brothers and always publically showing them off and kinda made her feel left out.
Her parents are divorced, but she said that she feels like because her mom had always had to kinda “compete” for anything and everything, that she feels like maybe she can’t help but do the same around her daughter. It broke my ex’s heart to think of a parent in that light, they should be selfless and completely giving to their children instead of the opposite.
Both me and her understood exactly why her mom would kinda be like that. But I do NOT want to add to the stereotype of “women play well together but all hate each other deep down out of competitive reasons” because I don’t believe that’s true.
Maybe a long long time ago it was more true, when women were really subjected to find a man to take care of them for everything, to depend on entirely, and had to get very competitive. But that’s not the case anymore. Women have rights and can do everything themselves without a man. But there are some people that still hold the old mentality.
My ex had completely began to cut her off after a few months of us dating because her mom had gotten my number from her phone without her knowing and texted me lol. It was so awkward.
But we also credit it to her not coming to terms with her aging. She was hitting 50 but had gotten far in life just on her looks alone.. that when the day came where her looks began fading, she wouldn’t accept it and spent a ridiculous amount on Botox and other surgery fixes to slow things down.
I guess I can understand why so many wealthy celebrities spend enormous amounts on appearance even into their 70-80s (Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton) because their looks helped them get very far despite their talent. It’s like expecting a successful onlyfans girl to one day accept a job as a server at a diner.
Point is, often times people do overthink the situation and things may be more innocent than they appear. BUT situations like yours where the mother may be a bit….lustful, are totally a thing so no, you’re not crazy.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your mom’s behavior is gross, desperate, and pathetic. I would talk to her and let her know she is making both your boyfriend and yourself very uncomfortable to the point he no longer wants to come over or be around her. Also let her know as your mother that her behavior is totally inappropriate and unacceptable.
Tough shit, sucks to be her. She's not destroying your relationship with your boyfriend (he's weirded out by her, lmao), she's destroying your relationship with her.
Also, poor guy jfc. What if it was a pervy older man insinuating himself to a young woman, could she see how fucked up it is?
Thank you! God it drives me nuts how socially acceptable it is for people to sexualize someone with such a large age gap. It’s even worse that it’s almost totally acceptable for women! Like when Justin Bieber became a star as a TEENAGER and had fans old enough to parent him on tv talking about their obsessive attraction to him. It’s weird. Just because there are statistically significantly less women who assault/molest doesn’t make it somehow ok. Don’t get me STARTED on the whole “11 year old boys bagging the teacher are living the dream” phenomenon.
The point is that OPs father dating someone younger could definitely cause her mother to act crazy, sure. Just like Catholic priests caught for molestation were often altar boys who were molested themselves. That still does not excuse their crimes because plenty of people are molested and live on to never abuse another person.
OP, no matter the reason, your mom is trying to sexually entice a young boy the same age as her daughter. On top of that, you’ve been in a relationship for six months!
Imagine if she was a female friend. Maybe you could forgive her doing this if you were both crushing on the same single guy, and she liked him way more so you backed out for the sake of the friendship or whatever suits you idk.
But would you forgive that same friend if she started going after your boyfriend of six months?
And OP this is your MOM. Like Mommy.
I hope this helps.
Unfortunately some women view every other woman as competition and none more so than their own daughters. Your mother doesn’t respect your relationship and whether she’s trying to tempt your bf to prove something to herself or to you, I can’t say, but don’t indulge her. Respect your boyfriend’s wishes and your own comfort levels by setting firm boundaries. You can communicate those boundaries by no longer spending time at your home with your boyfriend. If she ever asks why you can simply say *her* lack of boundaries makes both you and your bf uncomfortable.
I don’t think you owe her a conversation, OP! Go about living your life and if she keeps asking why you don’t spend more time at home you can say “I have explained how your continued behavior makes me and bf uncomfortable, I don’t need to justify beyond that.”
Good luck, OP! And your boyfriend sounds like a stand up guy, if this is the only issue between the two of you, it’s easily remedied. You’ve got this!
Yeah, if conversation didn't solve the issue yet, it's unlikely it ever will. Don't push it more than you're ok with, I know arguing with a stubborn parent can be super mentally draining. If she doesn't stop it, my only recommendation to you is that you limit contact between your mother and your bf.
She already understands that she’s wrong and massively overstepped some boundaries. She just doesn’t care enough to consider how her actions affect you and your boyfriend.
Words won’t be enough to get her to listen, but perhaps your actions will. Spend less time around her, and don’t invite your boyfriend to go with you if you do decide visit your mother. The more she pushes, the less she sees you. Grey rock tf out of her.
confront her while she’s in the act one day. if she’s dressing skimpy, ask her why. call her out and embarrass her, it seems to be the only way with these types of people
Of course she did. She’s gaslighting you. Just don’t have your boyfriend over anymore. He shouldn’t have to put up with her harassment. Imagine if the gender were reversed and it was a dad pulling the same shit on an 18 year old girl.
Your “mom” clearly has issues but it’s not your job to fix them. Just [grey rock](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock#what-is-it) her if she brings up your relationship.
At this point just tell her your bf won’t be coming around anymore because she makes him uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to listen to reason, so just be transparent about that and then hang out other places.
There’s nothing you can do to change her behavior or her mind.
Stay away when you can. Keep relationships away from her. I would suggest restricting what you share with her about relationships.
Check out the grey rock method- use that with regards to your relationships, along with an info diet.
When you’re old enough to move out, you might just end up having a very limited relationship with her.
Your mom sounds like a toxic narcissist. Shes knows EXACTLY what she’s doing. Don’t give her any benefit of the doubt.
And she’s gaslighting you.
Start putting up some solid boundaries, and when she crosses them, be prepared to follow through with anything you need to do to protect your peace.
Be careful, when I was 19 my MIL at the time made quite few advances towards me. That was after getting progressively “closer to me”. Her daughter, my ex gf, didn’t believe me, then she said I must been doing something to call her attention.
A couple years later my ex told me her mother ended up having sex with one of her brothers friends, which culminated in her divorce…
Please listen to your boyfriend and don’t have him over. It’s not right that you let your mother sexually harass him. How would you feel if you were over his house and his dad used the bathroom with the door open?? OMG
Talk to your mom, you need to directly tell her you know what she’s doing and she’d better stop disrespecting you and your boyfriend. If you are dependent on her, then get yourself a job and move out.
this is so weird and fucking disgusting? 😭 your mom has serious mental issues and once you and your boyfriend are away from her and in a safer place where you don’t have to rely much on her, confront her. she’s a grown ass woman, and your partner is what i’m assuming to be your age, this is no different than a creepy old man preying on a 17/18 year old teenage girl
When my brother first started dating his now wife, her mother acted the same as your mother did. She went no contact with her when she saw messages from her on his phone with explicit photos of her. He blocked her right afterwards. They haven't had any contact with her and are doing amazing together. You might need to think about going no contact with her once you leave for college. Do what's best for you and your boyfriend.
I think from now on, he shouldn’t come to your place. Either go to his or just meet someplace else, don’t bring him home.
Unfortunately, some women are always in some weird competition with other women, even their own daughters. There’s nothing you can really do, except put some distance so that she doesn’t have the opportunity to act this pathetic.
Tell your mum that if she does not act like a normal mother towards you and respect your relationship, you will not bring any partner you have around her. It's not crazy or whatever crap she wants to come out with. Leaving the bathroom door open when using it is ridiculous. Wearing lingerie around your partner is not decent or respectful to you or your relationship. If she doesn't like it, she can change her behaviour. Take your relationship away from her presence.
Tell your mom not only has she lost your dad, she is going to lose you! That you will not continue a relationship with someone who makes you uncomfortable & doesn't give a rat's behind how she is hurting you. Can you live somewhere else until college? Then go NC
Your mom is setting herself up to lose you for good, or be put into a retirement home at best. Your mom is very insecure and her behaviour is emotionally abusive. I see you’ve already spoken to her about her behaviours and it’s clear she is not open to hearing anything or changing. Do not give her any more attention that she so craves, literally grey rock her, and ignore the hell out of her. Only speak and engage with her as needed when you’re in the home. Otherwise, by continuing to be a loving and supportive daughter, you are only showing her that she can get away with how she acts.
Hang with your bf outside of the home from now on, and if she ever asks why, tell her very clearly that her behaviour makes both of you uncomfortable and does not provide a safe environment for you to hang out at home.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and I understand how challenging and painful it is. None of this is your fault, your mom is unwell and has very low self esteem.
I'm no psychologist so feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt... but it at least sounds like your mother is either a narcissist or she's having some sort of break (I say as a child of a narcissist).
That behavior is beyond normal--even if we were giving her a pass on the age gap, she should have loyalty to her child above anyone else in her life in my pov, and this is a huge attack on your relationship. I'd say your best move is to confront her about the behavior, make it clear that it's making everyone uncomfortable, and that while you support her dating, she needs to keep her market very much the fuck outside of yours. Don't let her gaslight, and be prepared to set boundaries, or even go lc/nc as you feel is necessary (trust your gut).
Sorry you're going through this. Parents can truly be the worst thing that ever happened to us 😱
Is there anyone in your family who can support you in this? Your mom is not ready to deal with her unhealthy coping and she’s seriously ruining her relationship with you. Also not mention your self-confidence etc.
Your mother is a narcissist.
" They might be over-sexual and act inappropriately flirty, maybe with their daughters’ boyfriends or other inappropriate people. (Flirting with their daughters’ boyfriends also invades her boundaries, making sure the daughters know their place in the grand scheme of things.)"
"The narcissistic mother (and father) is likely to overvalue her own looks and sexual prowess and may even seduce the friends of her children to demonstrate her superiority over her younger competition."
https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/narcissistic-mothers-strange-sexuality/
I know two moms that treat their daughters as competition. My own mom has histrionic personality disorder and is one of them. The other has borderline personality disorder. They both assrted their superiority over their daughters.
Don't mind me asking you this but, how old is your mom and how attractive would you say she is?
I'm asking this for a simple reason. Given the fact that you said your dad left her for a younger woman, she might be trying to find out if younger man find her attractive so she can "rub it" on your father's face, so to speak. Or, she could just be trying to find out if younger man or any man at all still find her attractive so she can try and find someone for herself.
Mind you, that still doesn't excuse what she's doing. Not in the least. It's a matter of her having respect for you, for him and for both of you and your relationship, and she's showing no respect whatsoever.
You should confront her and not allow her near him. You're fortunate he's sweet and isn't going along with her sick games. Your mom is foul and doesn't deserve a forgiving daughter like you.
I would play her at her own game. Like come out in a full-on right, black leather dominatrix outfit and just make a statement "this is how uncomfortable YOU make ME feel mum! This needs to stop!" There is no way she isn't aware of what she is doing.
That's toxic as hell. What if your bf is about it and starts giving her attention? Would she fuck him? It's starting to sound like a porno script.
Your mom got some serious issues for sure.
The only clear solution is shame 🤣
Have your boyfriend make a look of disgust whenever she gets flirty/provocative and ask you loud enough to carry *totally by accident* why your mom "doesn't have any clothes more her age".
Apply burn cream as long as necessary. 😅
My aunt would do this to her daughter (my cousin). Eventually she ended up sleeping with my cousin’s husband. My cousin was so broken by this, she left the country with her son, and has never reached out to anyone in the family, even though everyone cut her mom off. My uncle became an alcoholic due to this. It destroyed so many lives.
I honestly recommend you make your life with strong boundaries away from your mom. This behavior is so far past inappropriate. It’s already broken any bond between mother and daughter.
Mom's do this sometimes. It is horrible when you have to see your mother as competition for your boyfriend. I would tell her, and not bring him back to your house.
My mom acted the same when I was your age. You need to draw hard boundaries with her. Check out resources for being raised by a narcissist. Do it now.
I wound up marrying another narcissist because I thought that was how people who loved you treated you. I divorced him after he became abusive. A few years later, my mom started dating him. They filed false CPS claims against me and my second husband and tried several times to get my son taken away.
Let me say that again. My mom f*ed my ex-husband. And she did the same stuff as your mom when I was a teen. Start now on your mental health and having healthy relationships. Do it now.
Talking won’t cut it. She’s a full grown adult with an 18 year old daugther. No way she doesn’t know she doing something wrong. She is doing it on purpose and she’s has a goal. You’re old enough to leave her. Leave her now. Either you’re going to live or yoir mom will continously seduce your bf (or your future bfs if you break up).
I’m sorry what your mom needs is not a man but a proffesional help.
My mother slept with a guy I was seeing. Mothers can be evil, vile people. I don't speak to my mom at all. I went no contact with her 4 years ago. She was a very narcissistic mother very manipulative, and abusive. I'd seriously consider just being done with your mom. She will never change.
I remember when my one of girlfriends mom use to do this to me too. She would flirt with me and wear inappropriate clothes around me. I told my girlfriend at the time about it and today that girlfriend is not only my ex but she has also become my step daughter.
Keep your BF away. The two of you should plan to pretend you are broken up (he should be in on this whole thing so nothing gets musconstrued). The start bringing a dude HER age around and pretend it’s your new BF. She what she does. 😈
For your and your boyfriend’s sake, I’d recommend conducting your relationship away from your home.
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Although I’m a guy and I believe guys can’t really talk for women at all, I will say that my last long time girlfriend, had ended up with a kinda estranged relationship with her mom because of that exact reason. Her mom, she remembers very fondly as a kid, but after puberty my ex had gotten a lot of attention from people and had noticed a change in her mom’s behavior. She began “favoring” her brothers and always publically showing them off and kinda made her feel left out. Her parents are divorced, but she said that she feels like because her mom had always had to kinda “compete” for anything and everything, that she feels like maybe she can’t help but do the same around her daughter. It broke my ex’s heart to think of a parent in that light, they should be selfless and completely giving to their children instead of the opposite. Both me and her understood exactly why her mom would kinda be like that. But I do NOT want to add to the stereotype of “women play well together but all hate each other deep down out of competitive reasons” because I don’t believe that’s true. Maybe a long long time ago it was more true, when women were really subjected to find a man to take care of them for everything, to depend on entirely, and had to get very competitive. But that’s not the case anymore. Women have rights and can do everything themselves without a man. But there are some people that still hold the old mentality. My ex had completely began to cut her off after a few months of us dating because her mom had gotten my number from her phone without her knowing and texted me lol. It was so awkward. But we also credit it to her not coming to terms with her aging. She was hitting 50 but had gotten far in life just on her looks alone.. that when the day came where her looks began fading, she wouldn’t accept it and spent a ridiculous amount on Botox and other surgery fixes to slow things down. I guess I can understand why so many wealthy celebrities spend enormous amounts on appearance even into their 70-80s (Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton) because their looks helped them get very far despite their talent. It’s like expecting a successful onlyfans girl to one day accept a job as a server at a diner. Point is, often times people do overthink the situation and things may be more innocent than they appear. BUT situations like yours where the mother may be a bit….lustful, are totally a thing so no, you’re not crazy.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your mom’s behavior is gross, desperate, and pathetic. I would talk to her and let her know she is making both your boyfriend and yourself very uncomfortable to the point he no longer wants to come over or be around her. Also let her know as your mother that her behavior is totally inappropriate and unacceptable.
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Tough shit, sucks to be her. She's not destroying your relationship with your boyfriend (he's weirded out by her, lmao), she's destroying your relationship with her. Also, poor guy jfc. What if it was a pervy older man insinuating himself to a young woman, could she see how fucked up it is?
Thank you! God it drives me nuts how socially acceptable it is for people to sexualize someone with such a large age gap. It’s even worse that it’s almost totally acceptable for women! Like when Justin Bieber became a star as a TEENAGER and had fans old enough to parent him on tv talking about their obsessive attraction to him. It’s weird. Just because there are statistically significantly less women who assault/molest doesn’t make it somehow ok. Don’t get me STARTED on the whole “11 year old boys bagging the teacher are living the dream” phenomenon. The point is that OPs father dating someone younger could definitely cause her mother to act crazy, sure. Just like Catholic priests caught for molestation were often altar boys who were molested themselves. That still does not excuse their crimes because plenty of people are molested and live on to never abuse another person. OP, no matter the reason, your mom is trying to sexually entice a young boy the same age as her daughter. On top of that, you’ve been in a relationship for six months! Imagine if she was a female friend. Maybe you could forgive her doing this if you were both crushing on the same single guy, and she liked him way more so you backed out for the sake of the friendship or whatever suits you idk. But would you forgive that same friend if she started going after your boyfriend of six months? And OP this is your MOM. Like Mommy. I hope this helps.
What was her reaction to your discussion?
Unfortunately some women view every other woman as competition and none more so than their own daughters. Your mother doesn’t respect your relationship and whether she’s trying to tempt your bf to prove something to herself or to you, I can’t say, but don’t indulge her. Respect your boyfriend’s wishes and your own comfort levels by setting firm boundaries. You can communicate those boundaries by no longer spending time at your home with your boyfriend. If she ever asks why you can simply say *her* lack of boundaries makes both you and your bf uncomfortable.
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I don’t think you owe her a conversation, OP! Go about living your life and if she keeps asking why you don’t spend more time at home you can say “I have explained how your continued behavior makes me and bf uncomfortable, I don’t need to justify beyond that.” Good luck, OP! And your boyfriend sounds like a stand up guy, if this is the only issue between the two of you, it’s easily remedied. You’ve got this!
Yeah, if conversation didn't solve the issue yet, it's unlikely it ever will. Don't push it more than you're ok with, I know arguing with a stubborn parent can be super mentally draining. If she doesn't stop it, my only recommendation to you is that you limit contact between your mother and your bf.
She already understands that she’s wrong and massively overstepped some boundaries. She just doesn’t care enough to consider how her actions affect you and your boyfriend. Words won’t be enough to get her to listen, but perhaps your actions will. Spend less time around her, and don’t invite your boyfriend to go with you if you do decide visit your mother. The more she pushes, the less she sees you. Grey rock tf out of her.
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confront her while she’s in the act one day. if she’s dressing skimpy, ask her why. call her out and embarrass her, it seems to be the only way with these types of people
Of course she did. She’s gaslighting you. Just don’t have your boyfriend over anymore. He shouldn’t have to put up with her harassment. Imagine if the gender were reversed and it was a dad pulling the same shit on an 18 year old girl. Your “mom” clearly has issues but it’s not your job to fix them. Just [grey rock](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock#what-is-it) her if she brings up your relationship.
Did you tell her that your boyfriend told you that her behavior is making him uncomfortable too?
The only one crazy and insecure is her. How is she not embarrassed???
At this point just tell her your bf won’t be coming around anymore because she makes him uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to listen to reason, so just be transparent about that and then hang out other places.
There’s nothing you can do to change her behavior or her mind. Stay away when you can. Keep relationships away from her. I would suggest restricting what you share with her about relationships. Check out the grey rock method- use that with regards to your relationships, along with an info diet. When you’re old enough to move out, you might just end up having a very limited relationship with her.
Your mom sounds like a toxic narcissist. Shes knows EXACTLY what she’s doing. Don’t give her any benefit of the doubt. And she’s gaslighting you. Start putting up some solid boundaries, and when she crosses them, be prepared to follow through with anything you need to do to protect your peace.
Send me her number... I'll take care of this.
Yea, she needs intervention. Good man.
Slow down cowboy, I’ll tag along to back you up. Don’t want you going through this alone
intervention from her chastity maybe
Second this. Give me her number too, OP.
Third, we're gonna handle this. Don't worry.
I’m here if you need backup
Lmao
Be careful, when I was 19 my MIL at the time made quite few advances towards me. That was after getting progressively “closer to me”. Her daughter, my ex gf, didn’t believe me, then she said I must been doing something to call her attention. A couple years later my ex told me her mother ended up having sex with one of her brothers friends, which culminated in her divorce…
Please listen to your boyfriend and don’t have him over. It’s not right that you let your mother sexually harass him. How would you feel if you were over his house and his dad used the bathroom with the door open?? OMG Talk to your mom, you need to directly tell her you know what she’s doing and she’d better stop disrespecting you and your boyfriend. If you are dependent on her, then get yourself a job and move out.
That’s so pathetic of her
this is so weird and fucking disgusting? 😭 your mom has serious mental issues and once you and your boyfriend are away from her and in a safer place where you don’t have to rely much on her, confront her. she’s a grown ass woman, and your partner is what i’m assuming to be your age, this is no different than a creepy old man preying on a 17/18 year old teenage girl
When my brother first started dating his now wife, her mother acted the same as your mother did. She went no contact with her when she saw messages from her on his phone with explicit photos of her. He blocked her right afterwards. They haven't had any contact with her and are doing amazing together. You might need to think about going no contact with her once you leave for college. Do what's best for you and your boyfriend.
I think from now on, he shouldn’t come to your place. Either go to his or just meet someplace else, don’t bring him home. Unfortunately, some women are always in some weird competition with other women, even their own daughters. There’s nothing you can really do, except put some distance so that she doesn’t have the opportunity to act this pathetic.
Tell your mum that if she does not act like a normal mother towards you and respect your relationship, you will not bring any partner you have around her. It's not crazy or whatever crap she wants to come out with. Leaving the bathroom door open when using it is ridiculous. Wearing lingerie around your partner is not decent or respectful to you or your relationship. If she doesn't like it, she can change her behaviour. Take your relationship away from her presence.
Tell your mom not only has she lost your dad, she is going to lose you! That you will not continue a relationship with someone who makes you uncomfortable & doesn't give a rat's behind how she is hurting you. Can you live somewhere else until college? Then go NC
Your mom is setting herself up to lose you for good, or be put into a retirement home at best. Your mom is very insecure and her behaviour is emotionally abusive. I see you’ve already spoken to her about her behaviours and it’s clear she is not open to hearing anything or changing. Do not give her any more attention that she so craves, literally grey rock her, and ignore the hell out of her. Only speak and engage with her as needed when you’re in the home. Otherwise, by continuing to be a loving and supportive daughter, you are only showing her that she can get away with how she acts. Hang with your bf outside of the home from now on, and if she ever asks why, tell her very clearly that her behaviour makes both of you uncomfortable and does not provide a safe environment for you to hang out at home. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and I understand how challenging and painful it is. None of this is your fault, your mom is unwell and has very low self esteem.
I'm no psychologist so feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt... but it at least sounds like your mother is either a narcissist or she's having some sort of break (I say as a child of a narcissist). That behavior is beyond normal--even if we were giving her a pass on the age gap, she should have loyalty to her child above anyone else in her life in my pov, and this is a huge attack on your relationship. I'd say your best move is to confront her about the behavior, make it clear that it's making everyone uncomfortable, and that while you support her dating, she needs to keep her market very much the fuck outside of yours. Don't let her gaslight, and be prepared to set boundaries, or even go lc/nc as you feel is necessary (trust your gut). Sorry you're going through this. Parents can truly be the worst thing that ever happened to us 😱
Is there anyone in your family who can support you in this? Your mom is not ready to deal with her unhealthy coping and she’s seriously ruining her relationship with you. Also not mention your self-confidence etc.
Your mother is a narcissist. " They might be over-sexual and act inappropriately flirty, maybe with their daughters’ boyfriends or other inappropriate people. (Flirting with their daughters’ boyfriends also invades her boundaries, making sure the daughters know their place in the grand scheme of things.)" "The narcissistic mother (and father) is likely to overvalue her own looks and sexual prowess and may even seduce the friends of her children to demonstrate her superiority over her younger competition." https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/narcissistic-mothers-strange-sexuality/
I know two moms that treat their daughters as competition. My own mom has histrionic personality disorder and is one of them. The other has borderline personality disorder. They both assrted their superiority over their daughters.
Don't mind me asking you this but, how old is your mom and how attractive would you say she is? I'm asking this for a simple reason. Given the fact that you said your dad left her for a younger woman, she might be trying to find out if younger man find her attractive so she can "rub it" on your father's face, so to speak. Or, she could just be trying to find out if younger man or any man at all still find her attractive so she can try and find someone for herself. Mind you, that still doesn't excuse what she's doing. Not in the least. It's a matter of her having respect for you, for him and for both of you and your relationship, and she's showing no respect whatsoever.
You should confront her and not allow her near him. You're fortunate he's sweet and isn't going along with her sick games. Your mom is foul and doesn't deserve a forgiving daughter like you.
I would play her at her own game. Like come out in a full-on right, black leather dominatrix outfit and just make a statement "this is how uncomfortable YOU make ME feel mum! This needs to stop!" There is no way she isn't aware of what she is doing.
That's toxic as hell. What if your bf is about it and starts giving her attention? Would she fuck him? It's starting to sound like a porno script. Your mom got some serious issues for sure.
The only clear solution is shame 🤣 Have your boyfriend make a look of disgust whenever she gets flirty/provocative and ask you loud enough to carry *totally by accident* why your mom "doesn't have any clothes more her age". Apply burn cream as long as necessary. 😅
My aunt would do this to her daughter (my cousin). Eventually she ended up sleeping with my cousin’s husband. My cousin was so broken by this, she left the country with her son, and has never reached out to anyone in the family, even though everyone cut her mom off. My uncle became an alcoholic due to this. It destroyed so many lives. I honestly recommend you make your life with strong boundaries away from your mom. This behavior is so far past inappropriate. It’s already broken any bond between mother and daughter.
wow thats so gross and disrespectful
Mom's do this sometimes. It is horrible when you have to see your mother as competition for your boyfriend. I would tell her, and not bring him back to your house.
That’s so weird to me
Might need to go out to visit your bf to put an end to it.
My mom acted the same when I was your age. You need to draw hard boundaries with her. Check out resources for being raised by a narcissist. Do it now. I wound up marrying another narcissist because I thought that was how people who loved you treated you. I divorced him after he became abusive. A few years later, my mom started dating him. They filed false CPS claims against me and my second husband and tried several times to get my son taken away. Let me say that again. My mom f*ed my ex-husband. And she did the same stuff as your mom when I was a teen. Start now on your mental health and having healthy relationships. Do it now.
Talking won’t cut it. She’s a full grown adult with an 18 year old daugther. No way she doesn’t know she doing something wrong. She is doing it on purpose and she’s has a goal. You’re old enough to leave her. Leave her now. Either you’re going to live or yoir mom will continously seduce your bf (or your future bfs if you break up). I’m sorry what your mom needs is not a man but a proffesional help.
Where do you live 🙏 I have a couple of words to share with your mom…
Don't bring your boyfriend around her again ever.
Sounds like she's trying to do what ex husband did for her satisfaction. Stay away cuz dat shi cray cray
Gross and inappropriate. She needs therapy. He should no longer come home
My mother slept with a guy I was seeing. Mothers can be evil, vile people. I don't speak to my mom at all. I went no contact with her 4 years ago. She was a very narcissistic mother very manipulative, and abusive. I'd seriously consider just being done with your mom. She will never change.
Is your name Stacy?
Your mom is gross. You should probably keep your bf away from home
I remember when my one of girlfriends mom use to do this to me too. She would flirt with me and wear inappropriate clothes around me. I told my girlfriend at the time about it and today that girlfriend is not only my ex but she has also become my step daughter.
Wtf
If this comment is supposed to be funny, you missed the mark.
Keep your BF away. The two of you should plan to pretend you are broken up (he should be in on this whole thing so nothing gets musconstrued). The start bringing a dude HER age around and pretend it’s your new BF. She what she does. 😈