The first half of this story is up on AmItheAsshole. The link can be found in OP's profile.
This story was featured in the Two Hot Takes Podcast episode "Someone's Feeling Triggered.." ft Michaela Okland.
[Click here to see Morgan and her guest co-host Michaela Okland respond to this story. ](https://youtu.be/dI4dkR4MuwU?si=EQWk_JjSbG9lbFuf)
*Please note that this update was not posted at the time of recording.*
Thanks so much OP for giving us this update!
Edit: [Morgan and Michaela posted a response to this update in the episode "Worms in the Brain.." ](https://youtu.be/ckYFGwMVhD4?si=9i5woj2y3d9ceDLM&t=6461)
\[Mod note\]: *Can confirm that* ***someone*** *was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team.*
So Amanda is keeping your brother as a backup plan and he's willing to throw away every relationship he has romantic and otherwise to keep her happy.
Hopefully he comes to his senses before he ends up a sad, broken, lonely man.
Yepppppp, this is the comment.
People like this tend to find each other. It’s clearly serving some kind of need for him and says a lot about the person he is and what he is willing to put others through.
Good for you. Life goes by faster than we think. If someone loves being toxic, great. But they can’t expect people to be dragged into it to the point it causes serious issues in their lives just so they can keep the drama going and get everything they want with no sense of shame or self awareness. Good riddance!
Yeah, when I tell people “I hate drama”, I mean that if you bring drama into my life, I’m gonna cut you out of it. My life has enough drama without their input, lol. True friends don’t make it a chore to hang out with them.
Some people only like someone as long as they're triangulated against someone else. It's kind of sad and demonstrates low self esteem and self worth.
But I don't feel bad for them. They barely even like each other it seems.
I’ve met people who bond over very hypocritical morals/ethics. On some level they know they are bad people but this way they can be shitty together and it temporarily convinces them they’re just different.
In a way I see what you are saying. They don’t truly like each others’ character, but it excuses their own. Brutal.
This comment is it.
They're as toxic as each other. He'll keep on running back, for what reason? No-one truly knows, and he doesn't either. (Well, that's a lie as sex is probably involved). He probably thinks he can be with her eventually, but she only wants to string him along.
She's a toxic piece of 💩 and he will continue to defend her against even his family, even as she helps destroy his life.
He cannot even see when all her friends saw through her crap and turned against her. He's blind and deaf to anything against her. So long as he's like this, they'll keep orbiting each other and feeding the other ones crap.
Agree. It’s obvious Amanda doesn’t seriously want to be with OP’s brother- because if she did, she’s had ample chance/opportunity to make it happen. And brother has deluded himself into thinking that they are living some sort of Shakespearean star crossed lovers tragedy and he’ll be with others until he and Amanda can be together.
I feel like if she ever does “choose” him it will be because she has no other options and her behaviour towards him will reflect that- and he will, in turn, quickly learn that the perfect relationship/life/future he’d always pictured is vastly different from what he ends up with (and he will possibly regret the women he gave up).
Not to mention, she’s so self centered and lacks any semblance of self awareness that she willingly blew up any potential of relationship with the brother’s family by her actions!
OP saved Lia any further wasted time, created an opportunity to see Amanda’s true colors in full effect (dude - it’s OP’s wedding, no one is entitled to an invite other than those OP wants there to celebrate their marriage! But Lia missed that memo I guess?). Even though he’s ignoring the warning right now, he can’t later claim he “had no idea she was like this.” So even if he doesn’t appreciate it - OP you did your brother a solid and hopefully he matures soon and recognizes the train wreck you’re trying to help him avoid.
I’ve seen this dynamic so many times it makes me sick.
When I started seeing my husband, he had a lady friend. She had a kid and a boyfriend and he babysat for her a lot. I got the sense she saw him as a backup but stayed out of it and just watched how he handled it. They’d never been physically intimate, but were good friends.
She started leaning heavier on him as our relationship progressed. She broke up with her guy, got a new one, and we visited, I got the sense she was trying to make my hubby jealous. So did he and he started pulling back. She tried to call him and lean on him emotionally, he told her that he was in a relationship and had to maintain a boundary. If she crossed it they wouldn’t be able to be friends. She crossed it, and he cut her out, without a word from me. I was even counseling for him to be sure as I didn’t want him to give up a friend for me.
Then, at a bar once some Bacardi girls came up to him doing their thing, flat ignoring me. He called them smelly pirate hookers and to go away before they gave him glitter herpes.
This is why I married the man. Take note, fellas.
True, just thinking with people like that you never know when she will feel she has no other options…quick at this rate.
And that would be the truly awful and fast way for him to end up as you described. 😰
Pretty much this I don't get how guys fall for this type of shit. Girls like Amanda would abuse this man to the day they die. Tbh ur brother needs to man up there are other people like Amanda in this world.
I’m sure he’s shocked, AGAIN, as to why another gf broke it off with him because of Amanda. He’s pathetic to let her continuously use him and put her above everyone else while he sits waiting for her to choose him. He’s going to end up continuing in his toxic cycle with Amanda or alone when she finds someone else and sticks with them. Because I’m sure her new SO will tell her to cut him out and she WILL.
OP, you should send your brother these posts so maybe enough outside perspectives will make him realize he’s wasting his life with her. Cause he can commit to her all he wants, but she will NEVER commit to him. She’ll just keep him around.
Damn, I hope the wedding goes off without any issues. Make sure the venue staff know who Amanda is and what she looks like just in case she tries to get in.
Seems like op and Lia are good friends, the whole family likes her. Shame she won't be at the wedding. Maybe brother can stay home and 'console' Amanda and Lia can have a good time at your wedding. Congratulations on your niptials. Hope the day is everything you dreamed for. 🕊💐🙂
Edit: IT'S nuptials!! 🤦🏼♀️ 🤣
I hope Lia does go to the wedding. She can look gorgeous and confident and have a wonderful time. Maybe meet a nice single guy or two there. Let the brother see Lia looking fabulous and happy without him. And of course Amanda won’t be there with him. Maybe he won’t even go.
God... Hate girls like Amanda\~ did you show your brother the lies she was making up to make herself like the victim? He really needs an eye opener, and Amanda looks like the last person you´d want to join your family as a SIL.
But maybe it’s time to cut your brother out…
I mean he showed he would choose a liar over you too. Not just choose her over Lia.
Who needs that kind of toxicity in your life
Doesn't she though? Sending Amanda's messages to one of her male friends in front of David and showing him how a decent person would respond, amazing, I love her style!
That sucks :( Not sure how your relationship with your brother is outside of his "Amanda fog", but if he is half decent brother, I´d just have one more sit down with him, try to get him out of the fog one more time (with the facts of everything that has been going on) and, if it doesn´t work, set healthy boundaries with him. If he doesn´t wake up, you can only watch from afar and let him self destroy unfortunately...
We can call out girls like Amanda for their shitty behavior, but in reality your brother own choices doing this to himself and everyone else around him.
Hope you have an awesome wedding and you can put all this drama behind you!
Pretty much this, he had an awesome partner through Lia, then torpedoed that relationship by choosing a manipulative pick me wench. Definite kudos to OP and her solid titanium spine. :)
After all the drama that your brother brought to your wedding preparation, and knowing that he will bring Amanda behind your back (don't delude yourself, because I'm almost certain that she will appear and try to make your wedding about her or ruin it), why do you still want to invite your brother? In your place, I would uninvite your brother, invite Lea (she seems great, and it seems your parents also like her), and get security for the wedding to make sure Amanda stays out.
Also, don't block Amanda. You could back up every comment and post and get a restraining order after she tries to appear at your wedding. Also, sue her if she starts spreading lies about you. That girl needs to learn that actions have consequences, and your brother needs to stop being a piece of trash.
I agree. I see Amanda as the person who would show up in a white dress, just to cause a scene and get kicked out. Then, call someone or go on social media with crocodile tears about being mistreated and bullied.
Lia, if you’re reading this, please move on. Don’t let this guy back in, he’s not the one. Please make it a permanent break, a break up. Congrats on the wedding OP.
My older cousin had an Amanda-like friend for quite some time. We thought they would end up together. He was very handsome, and still is. But we couldn't understand why he had a panic attack while boarding a plane. Amanda was with him and didn't leave the plane while a firefighter (another good Samaritan passenger) helped him and took him to a hospital. We couldn't comprehend why such a close friend like her would abandon him in his time of need. His physical health was perfect but not his mental health. They were returning from a wedding as well. My cousin was distraught because of this. He said he couldn't remember his name, his phone number, or what was happening. The guy who helped him recognized the symptoms as burnout. Since Amanda refused to leave the plane and help calm him down, he had to step in. My grandmother offered money to this guy, but he refused; the airline had them covered. The only thing he asked was for us to remove that girl from our lives. Unlike you, OP, we liked our Amanda, but family comes first. We asked her not to come to our family gatherings anymore. My cousin also reduced contact, but Amanda preferred they went no-contact. In the end, she didn't care at all.
Your brother will have the same fate.
He spent a short time in the hospital but left there medicated and with an appointment scheduled to return with a psychologist. For a few days, he stayed with a distant relative, and they agreed he would return home by car. The psychologist didn't clear him to travel by plane and advised them to have weekly remote consultations. She also provided contact information for emergencies and spoke with his parents (who are divorced but did a good job helping together at this time). It was a four-day car trip with this distant relative. He mentioned feeling a strange fear as if death were imminent. Amanda kept justifying herself, saying she couldn't stay behind or it would disrupt her plans, and that she only went with him because they were friends (which sounded even more foolish). Then it became a matter on our side of not allowing her presence anymore (yes, she tried to stay at a barbecue once but everyone bombarded her with questions). And yes, my cousin was still foolish to try to continue the friendship, but this questioned whether she would take care of him and if this were to happen again without a relative or a kind person to help, what would become of him? He reduced contact, but it was she who was indignant at our reaction and never contacted him again.
Ooh, it sounds like your mom’s sick of this shit with Amanda and your brother, too. I LOVED how she gave him practical, next steps if he was genuinely concerned. Like, “Oh, what’s that? You don’t wanna do a welfare check? Because you know she’s not in any real harm? But you’re in love with her so you don’t really care about burning down any healthy relationship you might have?”
Even if Lia ends up avoiding the wedding, I hope the two of you find a way to celebrate. Congratulations!
Yeah I had a friend whose partner pulled this shit. They were separated and he kept saying he was going to harm himself, and she’s texting me freaking out. I said stop engaging and call for a wellness check. At best he’s manipulating you, and at worst, well, they can get him help.
My mother always said the same. I had a classmate (read; leech desperately seeking attention) who told me he was being abused by his grandparents while we were in high school, but that I couldn't tell anyone. I instantly told Mum because wtf was I going to do about it? I was 16 and had no clue how to help!
Mum instigated all the right checks, anonymously. Turns out the grandparents saw this kid once every two years and therefore the "weekly abuse" I heard about was untrue (lots of other things confirmed it too, that was just most obvious). Anyway, he was a pathological liar and attention seeking, and the only way to preserve my own sanity was to escalate to someone who really did know what they were doing. By "breaking his trust" like that, he decided to never speak to me again - it was such a relief!
>He went as far as calling our mother, saying Amanda was depressed and threatening never to forgive me if something happened to her. My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations.
I just want to commend your mom for this perfect 10/10 response to your brothers nonsense.
Good luck with your wedding. I hope this drama is the most your relationship has to endure over the years.
Because you know Amanda is reading these comments, that is insane- posting a crazy social media tirade and threatening self harm as a manipulation tactic is so abusive and crazy. She was 1000000% on board with the brother (luckily for Lia) tanking a 2 year relationship and trying to get the father-of-the-bride and other family to boycott the wedding. What a psycho.
Dude your brother needs serious therapy . The fact everyone is cutting her out and he sees her as the victim??? Ridiculous. They are cutting her out for a reason. Let him be on her leash until he burns when he finally realizes he's always and forever will be on her back burner.
In the end it would be your decision but a suggestion though, uninvite your brother. The way he is behaving right now, he will for sure create a disturbance in your wedding, either by bringing Amanda or by doing something else. And if you uninvite your brother then you can invite Lia, if you both feel comfortable with her attending.
Feel terrible for Lia, she shouldn’t have to be on a break and playing second fiddle to someone who is clearly a pick me girl like Amanda. Your brother needs to wake up before he loses out as Amanda wouldn’t do the same for him as he would for her
On a break? Lia is a fool for trying to work things out with your brother. He has already chosen Amanda, what’s the point of a break? Lia should move on with her life, she’s already wasted 2 years on this lout
It’s kind of sad that brother’s whole family dislikes Amanda (apparently for a good reason) but somehow OP’s brother take-away is that they are ALL a problem who don’t understand and Amanda is a victim and blameless. It must be hard watching someone you love make such a big mistake with his life and not be able to do anything about it
This is why i have been telling my friends and family that the moment i start acting ooc over a person/relationship that they have veto power to slap some sense to me.
I was inspired to do this when i saw my distant cousin literally got SLAPPED by her fiance ON THE DAY OF THEIR MARRIAGE and her parents/siblings did nothing to save her, citing ‘that’s her life, she must know him better than we do, she still wants to marry him’. While we were driving home i told my parents that if, knock on wood but IF they ever see my future partner physically/emotionally/financially abuse me, they have the rights to fuckin yeet me out of there. I can be screaming and shouting that i love that man for whatever reason but they have veto power to force me out of there.
Ofc, i can only do this because i trust my family, but gee golly wiz, that brother is LOST
Have a lovely wedding and congratulations. Weddings are stressful enough with this crap. I hope police do not have to come to your wedding.
Much love and happiness to you.
Fuck I hate Jenny slander! She was abused by her father most of her childhood. When her and Forest grow up she developed feelings for her childhood friend. Something completely normal. Except Forest is essentially a innocent child emotionally, especially involving anything sexual. So when she acts on her love for Forest it makes her feel like she is her dad who took advantage of her innocence. But she also can't help loving Forest because they were so close in childhood.
So, being disgusted with herself, she runs away from Forest. She thinks of herself as broken and doesn't want to drag the person she loves most down with her. Every time they reconnect over the years, this is what makes her run away again. In her eyes, she is just as bad as her dad if she is with Forest, and she is desperate to avoid that. So she becomes more and more self-destructive, which only makes the underlying feelings worse.
The great tragedy of the film is that Forest is shown to be able to handle just about anything. The only thing that is ever shown to be hardship for him is losing the people he loves. So at its heart, the movie is about two people in love, both running in the same direction. One away, and the other towards both for noble reason.
I know this is completely of topic, but I used to be anti Jenny until I saw a far more eloquent version of this comment. Completely changed my perception of the character and made the movie so much better.
I’ve been a Jenny defender my whole life. She’s not perfect but she was always good to Forrest. It’s so strange that people think she took advantage of a guy with mental health issues but then wanted her to get with and have sex with the same dude who they think she “tricked” into raising a kid.
I honestly don't. No one would hear the end of it from Amanda especially OP. Plus it sounds like almost no one from the friend group likes her so it wouldn't go over well anyway. They would all ask him if his head is on straight and give everything she's done up to this point as proof as to why she needs to go. She's not healthy for anybody at this point.
>The cool part? Not one person believed her. Many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda, and the few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother. They reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors.
So, no one in the "old gang" that Amanda was so desperate to come to the wedding and see even believes her shit? No one wants to see her? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Amanda, if you're reading this, Lia is a better person than you and thanks to your pathetic posts, everyone knows it. Your attempted power play over Lia has blown back on you in the best possible way.
I'm so happy for Lia. I fully 100% believe she can do better (sorry, I know it's your brother but absolutely NOT). I wish her the best and I hope you have a blast at your wedding.
I will be patiently awaiting more updates. Would love to hear how your brother handles all of this. I also want to know if she tries to go to the wedding. This is crazy but your brother is the ass home for sure you made the right call. Good for Lia for getting out I hope she doesn't go back to him honestly she deserves better
Amanda wants to meet the "old gang" at the wedding as she knows if she organised anything herself to get everyone to meet up they would all blow her off, as they have done blockong her drama. So the only way she can recreate the old drama is by hijacking someone elses event which they would be turning up to.
Personally, I'd keep Lia invited and drop the brother. Lia and the "old gang" can swap war stories of how Amanda screwed them over.
She's the kind of person who doesn't work as a person in real life. Like, she could be a delightful villain in a high school drama (Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale comes to mind), but the concept just doesn't carry over to the real world. She is not who she thinks she is
God, I hate girls like Amanda.
Coincidentally, I had a friend who was in a similar situation. She had this unhealthy relationship with her boy best friend, but her case was a bit different: They were in love, but she was reluctant to give him a chance because he was really unreliable. So they kept this unhealthy friendship that ruined their attempts at a relationship.
The solution for this bullshit was when we pushed them to date. They got together, she had a taste of how shitty he was as a partner, so they eventually broke up and ended the friendship.
Your brother is only gonna be set free when he acts on his feelings for her, realizes how shitty she is, and loses the romanticized idea he had of her.
>My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations.
Your mom is a G lmaooo
This is insane. You can’t force yourself into an event you were not invited to regardless of any other piece of the puzzle. This woman is a nut job. Brother sucks for not telling her to permanently get lost.
Hopefully Amanda won't show up at the wedding expecting a dramatic romcom-style thing, where the will they won't they is finally settled and the guy's mean sister gets covered in cake or something. Not saying that's likely, but it seems like she thinks herself a romcom protagonist.
Reminds me of my SIL. She posted once on Instagram about an occasion when no one crossed the street when the signal said not to until she did. How she was leading the gentle little lambs who weren't bold enough to think for themselves. She topped it off by bragging about the "bitchy smile" (her words, not mine) she gave the driver who was being delayed by her doing this.
It's like she thinks she's in a fucking Mentos commercial.
I have a funny feeling Amanda begged brother to bring her to the wedding to see the “gang all together” because she wants to see them and they don’t like her or keep in touch with her.
How TF is it op’s fault if Amanda does something “to harm herself” to get her way? I’m going to come off as horribly insensitive, because partially I am, but as someone who honestly dealt with thoughts of end of the line self harm this is infuriating. There is a massive difference between hating yourself so much you are seriously considering endgame, and “I’m not getting my way so I’m going to hold my breath until I die because everyone sucks.” I new a girl like this as a teenager, I sat and watched her hold her breath until she was blue in the face, our friends were crying pleading for her to breathe, I just sat there. She didn’t have a plastic bag over her head, she wasn’t close to water, worst case scenario she would pass out and INVOLUNTARILY start to breathe again.
Op, I’m truly sorry that your brother is a clinical doofus. Congratulations on the wedding, I wish you a beautiful and peaceful married life.
I read both posts and was Sutton mean that David and Lia were still together as a couple when he decided to take Amanda as his Plus One.
That, by itself, would be justification for splitting up.
I hope Lia attends the wedding.
I have some very close friends who happen to be men. And I have never had trouble with their girlfriends or wives. The closest thing to that would be the girlfriend who said she wanted to break up and just be friends like he was with me. She said it to him and repeated it to me. I told both of them that I don’t blame her. He’s a good friend but I sure the hell wouldn’t want to date him. They are now just friends and I know she’s much happier now. He wishes he had changed before it was too late but he knows he is to blame. Amanda sounds like a nightmare and I don’t blame OP for not wanting anything to do with her.
I’m so glad you stood your ground and that Lia got out of there. Those two definitely had an emotional affair at least. And I wouldn’t put an actual affair past them. Hopefully your brother takes her advice and starts to realize that Amanda is causing his other relationships around him to crumble into dust and that she’s not the person he should be clinging on to.
I was going to ask, why doesn’t your brother just make it exclusive with Amanda since he seems to prioritize her over everyone anyway? Why string his girlfriends around when he clearly doesn’t put them first? I think, while no one likes Amanda, everyone will leave his love life business alone if he just makes his decision and sticks to it regarding Amanda. Though, I do wonder if part of his resistance to making a commitment to Amanda is because he knows no one likes her. Regardless, this is his mess. He should not have invited Amanda to a wedding when dating another woman. That’s just disrespectful!
That may be true. Maybe she enjoys playing with him. Regardless, he shouldn’t be dating other women if he can’t understand how his actions are harmful to the relationship. If he can’t prioritize his girlfriends over a friend, he’s not really available to date.
I bet op brother is gonna try and pull a fast one and bring Amanda anyway but if I were OP I’d tell her brother that if he pulls that then there will be a big screen with all their texts to each other along with the texts that she’s sending to OP along with all her posts on SM and tell if he really cares about Amanda then it will be within his best interests to leave her ass at home.
Fuck Amanda fr. And for Lia good riddance girlllll!!! Let that losers entertain each other, good for you to leave these circuses. I wish OP a happy ceremony bcs god know this might be just the beginning.
I’m both heartbroken and cheering for Lia, that girl knows her worth and knows that she deserves better than a man who will always pine away for the woman who keeps him as her backup plan. How unfortunate for your brother that he ruined his relationship with Lia for Amanda, who I bet will slowly lose interest now that she wrecked his relationship. Amanda’s going to slowly push him back to the back burner, where he belongs for her. If he doesn’t shape up soon, he’s going to end up old and alone, scrabbling for any scrap of attention she’ll toss his way.
OP, I wish you could rescind your brother’s invitation and just invite Lia instead. Bring her into your friend group, because found family can be some of the best family out there. She deserves the best, and you girl, you sound like the kind of friend she deserves. All women could use a friend like you, and I hope you have some friends like you too. Here’s wishing you a happy wedding, and an even happier marriage.
This was a very satisfying update to your first post, bc you've managed to contain the drama, not let Amanda upend anything, and keep your wedding on track and your life calm. You were very clear and direct with Amanda that she's not coming to the wedding (loved what you said to her!), and have been able to sit back and watch her dig her own hole, while your friends and family (your brother aside) have your back, which is awesome!
I am sad for Lia, she doesn't deserve to go through this. But I'm glad that she stood up for herself and confronted him, didn't hold back, and kicked him out. It's unfortunate your brother is so delusional about Amanda and is falling for her antics, and doesn't care that he's hurting people this way, but at least Lia isn't putting up with his bs. Her message to people was beautiful! I'm glad she knows all these people out in the real world support her, and I hope she decides to turn this "break" she's on with your brother into a permanent one. She deserves better. And Lia is lucky to have you.
Btw, your mom ROCKS!! I loved her response to your brother, not falling for that manipulation tactic. So sad your brother has, and doesn't see it for the desperate ploy to get her way that it is. Amanda loves herself too much to ever hurt herself. And actually, your mom is right, that IS the right thing to do if she threatens to harm herself, so it's the appropriate response anyway, as well as telling your brother her ploy won't get her into your wedding! Go Mom!
I hope you have a wonderful, fun, and PEACEFUL wedding! Please update us afterward - Redditors will be dying to hear if Amanda tries to crash and gets led away in handcuffs! 😂 Congratulations on the wedding, and for handling this whole situation so well!
Shout out to Lia. I'm so glad she held strong and walked away. She deserves someone who loves her and never chooses another woman over her. Amanda reminds me of my mom. An attention seeking narcissist who thinks any attention is good attention and she'll grasp at anything to get it (hence why she asks herself questions on social media). Good luck to her. The only people that'll remain in her life are people who try to overlook her issues but still choose to talk behind her back. If she doesn't think so, just know I've had 28 years of experience with my mom being a narcissist and every one of her friends talks about her behind her back and uses the "deep deep down I think she means well, but (insert shit talking here).
Amanda better have enough dignity and common sense to stay away. Good for Lia! He clearly didn't learn after losing his previous girlfriend. I hope your wedding goes beautifully.
If you're feeling up for it, please update after the wedding. I would love to hear how it goes and how you're both holding up. 😊 🙏
It’s insane your brother is 29 and acting like this ): so proud of lia though. Also, does amanda have a job or some sort of authority figure you could leak this info too? Sounds like she should get a taste of the real world for once
OH IN CASE SHE COMES HERE TOO! HI AGAIN AMANDA!! Glad to see the last time I checked that you still seem to spend 16 hours a day commenting (and getting downvoted to hell) on AITA
Much love to you and Lia! I really hope Lia can find a healthy relationship and you two can still stay in contact. It’s really crazy how much it spiraled out of control. I’m so glad you will have peace on your wedding day and I’m sorry you received threats. I can’t believe it!
Good work!
I just know Morgan is somewhere screaming with joy that Lia and your brother are done-zo.
Sending you all lots of healing energy. Summer’s just beginning! Fill it up with some adventure now that you’re free of the dead weight.
Personally, I would univite the brother and invite Lia instead. If the brother isn't there, Amanda has no excuse to even try to go, but I would give security their pictures to be safe.
I have experience with Amanda's. From that experience I would say that she has borderline personality disorder and uses it for evil. I hope your brother takes Lia's advice.
Imagine being so focused on someone who continually treats you, your family, your friends, and your girlfriends like crap, but not being able to see it. It's kinda sad.
But hey, at least the brother will truly get who he deserves.
While I know he's your brother, with everything going on, I would disinvite him from the wedding. I would also talk to Lia and invite her to it. She should never have been treated like that.
If that was my brother, he'd be disinvited from the wedding too. He's allowing a narcissistic person to control his life and by extension anyone he's associated with. Yuck.
> Lia is not the only special woman in my brother's life.
um what? no matter how close of a friendship I have with some guys I cant imagine being a +1 to a wedding with any of them. or is that just me?
relationship vampires are wild and I'll just never understand whatever their line of thinking is
Wow dude has no spine or balls. You let this girl keep you on the back burner until she's ready the shelf you when it's done? I'm sorry OP and Lia, yall deserve better than this jellyfish.
👏👏👏 you and Lia sound amazing. I hope you guys have a long friendship. Amanda can kick rocks. She makes the rest of us look bad. If she does show up at your wedding and you have her escorted out please come back and tell us all about it 🤣
Wow. I kind of thought when reading the original that I hoped Lia woke up to what what really going on but was unsure if that would happen. I’m so glad that Amanda kept up the crazy and Lia saw the truth. I hope you nothing but happened with your wedding and that Lia finds someone who loves her so much better.
This Amanda is a real POS. She's keeping your brother on a leash and is crying like she's a victim. She doesn't love and doesn't even like him. He's just this convenient little pet she call when she's feeling down, this is so sad. Your brother needs to have some self respect. I'm happy for Lia. She seems like an amazing girl with her head on her shoulders. She know her worth and she won't settle to being the 2nd choice. Hope your brother can see at some point how a good sister you are and than you have his best interest at heart
Your brother needs to ditch Amanda. If not he's going to end up sad and alone still waiting on Amanda to decide he's finally good enough for her or they're going to end up a bitter toxic lonely couple because no one can stand to be around them and their drama. Good on lia for kicking him out. Hopefully, he realises how much he's losing by keeping the toxic pick me around.
On SMOSH Reads Reddit recently, they did a story about a girl who wrote in about her boyfriend and how he chose his girl best friend for a tropical vacation when it was originally supposed to be a couples trip. I’m pretty certain that it was about your brother, since the facts match up to what you said about his previous relationship in your oriental post. Might be interested to check out!
If your brother is allowed to come to the wedding at this point I can pretty much guarantee he will try to cause a scene or somehow ruin your wedding. It’s time to disinvite him. Invite Lia instead
You did the right thing.I feel sorry for your brother, he is ruining his life with his own hands, if he continues like this he will end up sad and alone. Is it possible that no one I capable to wake him up and to make him understand how dominated he is? From the way Op describes him, it seems that when there isn't Amanda in the equation , he's a great person, but as soon as Amanda arrives he changes completely, is there really no one capable of instilling some common sense in his head?
It's actually crazy how wrapped up in this woman he is that he's basically threatening to cut you, his sister, out of his life because you didn't want her at your wedding. That's an obsession and bond he needs therapy for.
I am waiting and hoping for the update when your brother realizes how toxic this relationship is and how much it has caused him to loose before he looses you and other family members. All of Amanda’s behaviors are about her and going to your wedding and making sure the attention is on her, while all your brother’s behaviors are about making her number one. At some point he will realize that he is all alone because he has made his life about one person who only cares about herself and doesn’t care for him but the attention he gives her.
May I suggest you uninvite your brother along with Amanda and just keep Lia? 😂
But seriously, Amanda is a very toxic, manipulative person (albeit, failing at the manipulation part quite a bit). I know we tend to use “toxic” a lot, but this is truly an unhealthy situation for everyone, including her. Whether or not she has feeling for your brother, keeping him as a “backup” will do nothing but hurt her since any good partner would get fed up and leave her, similar to how Lia is leaving your brother. There is some deep rooted insecurity somewhere, which is why she keeps a “just in case” guy nearby. I’m glad to hear that “the gang” isn’t fond of her anymore and those around you don’t believe her. This would hopefully be enough to show her how little support she has and what her future will be if she doesn’t change her ways.
The first half of this story is up on AmItheAsshole. The link can be found in OP's profile. This story was featured in the Two Hot Takes Podcast episode "Someone's Feeling Triggered.." ft Michaela Okland. [Click here to see Morgan and her guest co-host Michaela Okland respond to this story. ](https://youtu.be/dI4dkR4MuwU?si=EQWk_JjSbG9lbFuf) *Please note that this update was not posted at the time of recording.* Thanks so much OP for giving us this update! Edit: [Morgan and Michaela posted a response to this update in the episode "Worms in the Brain.." ](https://youtu.be/ckYFGwMVhD4?si=9i5woj2y3d9ceDLM&t=6461) \[Mod note\]: *Can confirm that* ***someone*** *was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team.*
So Amanda is keeping your brother as a backup plan and he's willing to throw away every relationship he has romantic and otherwise to keep her happy. Hopefully he comes to his senses before he ends up a sad, broken, lonely man.
Nah, I bet they feed off each other, and make everyone around them miserable.
Yepppppp, this is the comment. People like this tend to find each other. It’s clearly serving some kind of need for him and says a lot about the person he is and what he is willing to put others through.
I have known too many couples like that. Needless to say, we are no longer friends with them.
Good for you. Life goes by faster than we think. If someone loves being toxic, great. But they can’t expect people to be dragged into it to the point it causes serious issues in their lives just so they can keep the drama going and get everything they want with no sense of shame or self awareness. Good riddance!
Yeah, when I tell people “I hate drama”, I mean that if you bring drama into my life, I’m gonna cut you out of it. My life has enough drama without their input, lol. True friends don’t make it a chore to hang out with them.
Some people only like someone as long as they're triangulated against someone else. It's kind of sad and demonstrates low self esteem and self worth. But I don't feel bad for them. They barely even like each other it seems.
I’ve met people who bond over very hypocritical morals/ethics. On some level they know they are bad people but this way they can be shitty together and it temporarily convinces them they’re just different. In a way I see what you are saying. They don’t truly like each others’ character, but it excuses their own. Brutal.
This comment is it. They're as toxic as each other. He'll keep on running back, for what reason? No-one truly knows, and he doesn't either. (Well, that's a lie as sex is probably involved). He probably thinks he can be with her eventually, but she only wants to string him along. She's a toxic piece of 💩 and he will continue to defend her against even his family, even as she helps destroy his life. He cannot even see when all her friends saw through her crap and turned against her. He's blind and deaf to anything against her. So long as he's like this, they'll keep orbiting each other and feeding the other ones crap.
Agree. It’s obvious Amanda doesn’t seriously want to be with OP’s brother- because if she did, she’s had ample chance/opportunity to make it happen. And brother has deluded himself into thinking that they are living some sort of Shakespearean star crossed lovers tragedy and he’ll be with others until he and Amanda can be together. I feel like if she ever does “choose” him it will be because she has no other options and her behaviour towards him will reflect that- and he will, in turn, quickly learn that the perfect relationship/life/future he’d always pictured is vastly different from what he ends up with (and he will possibly regret the women he gave up).
Not to mention, she’s so self centered and lacks any semblance of self awareness that she willingly blew up any potential of relationship with the brother’s family by her actions! OP saved Lia any further wasted time, created an opportunity to see Amanda’s true colors in full effect (dude - it’s OP’s wedding, no one is entitled to an invite other than those OP wants there to celebrate their marriage! But Lia missed that memo I guess?). Even though he’s ignoring the warning right now, he can’t later claim he “had no idea she was like this.” So even if he doesn’t appreciate it - OP you did your brother a solid and hopefully he matures soon and recognizes the train wreck you’re trying to help him avoid.
I’ve seen this dynamic so many times it makes me sick. When I started seeing my husband, he had a lady friend. She had a kid and a boyfriend and he babysat for her a lot. I got the sense she saw him as a backup but stayed out of it and just watched how he handled it. They’d never been physically intimate, but were good friends. She started leaning heavier on him as our relationship progressed. She broke up with her guy, got a new one, and we visited, I got the sense she was trying to make my hubby jealous. So did he and he started pulling back. She tried to call him and lean on him emotionally, he told her that he was in a relationship and had to maintain a boundary. If she crossed it they wouldn’t be able to be friends. She crossed it, and he cut her out, without a word from me. I was even counseling for him to be sure as I didn’t want him to give up a friend for me. Then, at a bar once some Bacardi girls came up to him doing their thing, flat ignoring me. He called them smelly pirate hookers and to go away before they gave him glitter herpes. This is why I married the man. Take note, fellas.
Glitter herpes is fantastic!
Or with Amanda 👀
She's never going to choose him. He's the nice guy back up plan that never gets chosen first.
He’s not really a nice guy though, is he!!?
A pathetic guy is better wording. He's good to keep around for the ego boost and throwing him the occasional affection to keep him in line.
Nice Guy
True, just thinking with people like that you never know when she will feel she has no other options…quick at this rate. And that would be the truly awful and fast way for him to end up as you described. 😰
He's already a sad and broken man. Amanda is helping to make sure he's lonely too.
Pretty much this I don't get how guys fall for this type of shit. Girls like Amanda would abuse this man to the day they die. Tbh ur brother needs to man up there are other people like Amanda in this world.
Thank god you stayed Strong and Lia got out. Your Brother and Amanda are totaly banana
I’m sure he’s shocked, AGAIN, as to why another gf broke it off with him because of Amanda. He’s pathetic to let her continuously use him and put her above everyone else while he sits waiting for her to choose him. He’s going to end up continuing in his toxic cycle with Amanda or alone when she finds someone else and sticks with them. Because I’m sure her new SO will tell her to cut him out and she WILL. OP, you should send your brother these posts so maybe enough outside perspectives will make him realize he’s wasting his life with her. Cause he can commit to her all he wants, but she will NEVER commit to him. She’ll just keep him around.
Damn, I hope the wedding goes off without any issues. Make sure the venue staff know who Amanda is and what she looks like just in case she tries to get in.
Seems like op and Lia are good friends, the whole family likes her. Shame she won't be at the wedding. Maybe brother can stay home and 'console' Amanda and Lia can have a good time at your wedding. Congratulations on your niptials. Hope the day is everything you dreamed for. 🕊💐🙂 Edit: IT'S nuptials!! 🤦🏼♀️ 🤣
I hope Lia does go to the wedding. She can look gorgeous and confident and have a wonderful time. Maybe meet a nice single guy or two there. Let the brother see Lia looking fabulous and happy without him. And of course Amanda won’t be there with him. Maybe he won’t even go.
God... Hate girls like Amanda\~ did you show your brother the lies she was making up to make herself like the victim? He really needs an eye opener, and Amanda looks like the last person you´d want to join your family as a SIL.
It's not like he cares
But maybe it’s time to cut your brother out… I mean he showed he would choose a liar over you too. Not just choose her over Lia. Who needs that kind of toxicity in your life
Yeah, and replace him with Lia. She sounds awesome.
Doesn't she though? Sending Amanda's messages to one of her male friends in front of David and showing him how a decent person would respond, amazing, I love her style!
That sucks :( Not sure how your relationship with your brother is outside of his "Amanda fog", but if he is half decent brother, I´d just have one more sit down with him, try to get him out of the fog one more time (with the facts of everything that has been going on) and, if it doesn´t work, set healthy boundaries with him. If he doesn´t wake up, you can only watch from afar and let him self destroy unfortunately... We can call out girls like Amanda for their shitty behavior, but in reality your brother own choices doing this to himself and everyone else around him. Hope you have an awesome wedding and you can put all this drama behind you!
Pretty much this, he had an awesome partner through Lia, then torpedoed that relationship by choosing a manipulative pick me wench. Definite kudos to OP and her solid titanium spine. :)
After all the drama that your brother brought to your wedding preparation, and knowing that he will bring Amanda behind your back (don't delude yourself, because I'm almost certain that she will appear and try to make your wedding about her or ruin it), why do you still want to invite your brother? In your place, I would uninvite your brother, invite Lea (she seems great, and it seems your parents also like her), and get security for the wedding to make sure Amanda stays out. Also, don't block Amanda. You could back up every comment and post and get a restraining order after she tries to appear at your wedding. Also, sue her if she starts spreading lies about you. That girl needs to learn that actions have consequences, and your brother needs to stop being a piece of trash.
I agree. I see Amanda as the person who would show up in a white dress, just to cause a scene and get kicked out. Then, call someone or go on social media with crocodile tears about being mistreated and bullied.
I hope you uninvited your brother and encourage Lia to come. She won’t have to run into him
Lia, if you’re reading this, please move on. Don’t let this guy back in, he’s not the one. Please make it a permanent break, a break up. Congrats on the wedding OP.
My older cousin had an Amanda-like friend for quite some time. We thought they would end up together. He was very handsome, and still is. But we couldn't understand why he had a panic attack while boarding a plane. Amanda was with him and didn't leave the plane while a firefighter (another good Samaritan passenger) helped him and took him to a hospital. We couldn't comprehend why such a close friend like her would abandon him in his time of need. His physical health was perfect but not his mental health. They were returning from a wedding as well. My cousin was distraught because of this. He said he couldn't remember his name, his phone number, or what was happening. The guy who helped him recognized the symptoms as burnout. Since Amanda refused to leave the plane and help calm him down, he had to step in. My grandmother offered money to this guy, but he refused; the airline had them covered. The only thing he asked was for us to remove that girl from our lives. Unlike you, OP, we liked our Amanda, but family comes first. We asked her not to come to our family gatherings anymore. My cousin also reduced contact, but Amanda preferred they went no-contact. In the end, she didn't care at all. Your brother will have the same fate.
Jesus that's terrible. How is your cousin now? Was that really the pull he needed to leave his so called friend behind.
He spent a short time in the hospital but left there medicated and with an appointment scheduled to return with a psychologist. For a few days, he stayed with a distant relative, and they agreed he would return home by car. The psychologist didn't clear him to travel by plane and advised them to have weekly remote consultations. She also provided contact information for emergencies and spoke with his parents (who are divorced but did a good job helping together at this time). It was a four-day car trip with this distant relative. He mentioned feeling a strange fear as if death were imminent. Amanda kept justifying herself, saying she couldn't stay behind or it would disrupt her plans, and that she only went with him because they were friends (which sounded even more foolish). Then it became a matter on our side of not allowing her presence anymore (yes, she tried to stay at a barbecue once but everyone bombarded her with questions). And yes, my cousin was still foolish to try to continue the friendship, but this questioned whether she would take care of him and if this were to happen again without a relative or a kind person to help, what would become of him? He reduced contact, but it was she who was indignant at our reaction and never contacted him again.
Ooh, it sounds like your mom’s sick of this shit with Amanda and your brother, too. I LOVED how she gave him practical, next steps if he was genuinely concerned. Like, “Oh, what’s that? You don’t wanna do a welfare check? Because you know she’s not in any real harm? But you’re in love with her so you don’t really care about burning down any healthy relationship you might have?” Even if Lia ends up avoiding the wedding, I hope the two of you find a way to celebrate. Congratulations!
Yeah I had a friend whose partner pulled this shit. They were separated and he kept saying he was going to harm himself, and she’s texting me freaking out. I said stop engaging and call for a wellness check. At best he’s manipulating you, and at worst, well, they can get him help.
My mother always said the same. I had a classmate (read; leech desperately seeking attention) who told me he was being abused by his grandparents while we were in high school, but that I couldn't tell anyone. I instantly told Mum because wtf was I going to do about it? I was 16 and had no clue how to help! Mum instigated all the right checks, anonymously. Turns out the grandparents saw this kid once every two years and therefore the "weekly abuse" I heard about was untrue (lots of other things confirmed it too, that was just most obvious). Anyway, he was a pathological liar and attention seeking, and the only way to preserve my own sanity was to escalate to someone who really did know what they were doing. By "breaking his trust" like that, he decided to never speak to me again - it was such a relief!
>He went as far as calling our mother, saying Amanda was depressed and threatening never to forgive me if something happened to her. My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations. I just want to commend your mom for this perfect 10/10 response to your brothers nonsense. Good luck with your wedding. I hope this drama is the most your relationship has to endure over the years.
Is Amanda threatening to hurt herself over not being invited?? Holy hell. This is a whole other level of manipulation and evil.
Because you know Amanda is reading these comments, that is insane- posting a crazy social media tirade and threatening self harm as a manipulation tactic is so abusive and crazy. She was 1000000% on board with the brother (luckily for Lia) tanking a 2 year relationship and trying to get the father-of-the-bride and other family to boycott the wedding. What a psycho.
Dude your brother needs serious therapy . The fact everyone is cutting her out and he sees her as the victim??? Ridiculous. They are cutting her out for a reason. Let him be on her leash until he burns when he finally realizes he's always and forever will be on her back burner.
Lia sounds like a really cool person. I hope you stay friends with her.
The original is in my profile
Well is ur dad still coming to your wedding? I’m so glad Lia dumped your bro.
Yes, of course. Also They are on a break (please insert Ross gallery meme here )
I thought he was still going but wanted confirmation. The audacity of that B to think she was more important to your father than you are. She’s gross
Ohhohoho I bet Amenda will sleep with him just this once to fuck everything over.
In the end it would be your decision but a suggestion though, uninvite your brother. The way he is behaving right now, he will for sure create a disturbance in your wedding, either by bringing Amanda or by doing something else. And if you uninvite your brother then you can invite Lia, if you both feel comfortable with her attending.
Totally agree!
Feel terrible for Lia, she shouldn’t have to be on a break and playing second fiddle to someone who is clearly a pick me girl like Amanda. Your brother needs to wake up before he loses out as Amanda wouldn’t do the same for him as he would for her
I KNEW IT! Why would that insane child think she is more important to your Dad than you are? Oh yeah... she's delusional.
On a break? Lia is a fool for trying to work things out with your brother. He has already chosen Amanda, what’s the point of a break? Lia should move on with her life, she’s already wasted 2 years on this lout
Agree. Lia should definitely move on. She deserves so much more than OP’s stupid brother, and I hope Lia gets OP in the breakup.
It’s kind of sad that brother’s whole family dislikes Amanda (apparently for a good reason) but somehow OP’s brother take-away is that they are ALL a problem who don’t understand and Amanda is a victim and blameless. It must be hard watching someone you love make such a big mistake with his life and not be able to do anything about it
This is why i have been telling my friends and family that the moment i start acting ooc over a person/relationship that they have veto power to slap some sense to me. I was inspired to do this when i saw my distant cousin literally got SLAPPED by her fiance ON THE DAY OF THEIR MARRIAGE and her parents/siblings did nothing to save her, citing ‘that’s her life, she must know him better than we do, she still wants to marry him’. While we were driving home i told my parents that if, knock on wood but IF they ever see my future partner physically/emotionally/financially abuse me, they have the rights to fuckin yeet me out of there. I can be screaming and shouting that i love that man for whatever reason but they have veto power to force me out of there. Ofc, i can only do this because i trust my family, but gee golly wiz, that brother is LOST
Have a lovely wedding and congratulations. Weddings are stressful enough with this crap. I hope police do not have to come to your wedding. Much love and happiness to you.
I hope ur brother and amanda get together for others sake. They hurt too many boyfriends and girlfriends
You just know she’s going to eventually Jenny him. As in Forest Gump Jenny leaving him with someone else’s child and a bag full of AIDS
Fuck I hate Jenny slander! She was abused by her father most of her childhood. When her and Forest grow up she developed feelings for her childhood friend. Something completely normal. Except Forest is essentially a innocent child emotionally, especially involving anything sexual. So when she acts on her love for Forest it makes her feel like she is her dad who took advantage of her innocence. But she also can't help loving Forest because they were so close in childhood. So, being disgusted with herself, she runs away from Forest. She thinks of herself as broken and doesn't want to drag the person she loves most down with her. Every time they reconnect over the years, this is what makes her run away again. In her eyes, she is just as bad as her dad if she is with Forest, and she is desperate to avoid that. So she becomes more and more self-destructive, which only makes the underlying feelings worse. The great tragedy of the film is that Forest is shown to be able to handle just about anything. The only thing that is ever shown to be hardship for him is losing the people he loves. So at its heart, the movie is about two people in love, both running in the same direction. One away, and the other towards both for noble reason. I know this is completely of topic, but I used to be anti Jenny until I saw a far more eloquent version of this comment. Completely changed my perception of the character and made the movie so much better.
Jenny is a complex and flawed character, just like the relationship to forest. Seeing her as a one-dimensional villain is a disservice
I’ve been a Jenny defender my whole life. She’s not perfect but she was always good to Forrest. It’s so strange that people think she took advantage of a guy with mental health issues but then wanted her to get with and have sex with the same dude who they think she “tricked” into raising a kid.
Yeah but he deserves it no offence Op
I honestly don't. No one would hear the end of it from Amanda especially OP. Plus it sounds like almost no one from the friend group likes her so it wouldn't go over well anyway. They would all ask him if his head is on straight and give everything she's done up to this point as proof as to why she needs to go. She's not healthy for anybody at this point.
Is Amanda a 15 year old girl cause she sure does act like one.
I’d be tempted to disinvite brother and invite Lia instead.
Maybe Lia meets some nice single guys at this wedding. Who knows?
I was so invested in this story. I wish I could see the screenshots haha
Same lol
I just keep picturing her brother trying to make it through reading these texts aloud to her and pretending it's SO innocent.
>The cool part? Not one person believed her. Many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda, and the few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother. They reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors. So, no one in the "old gang" that Amanda was so desperate to come to the wedding and see even believes her shit? No one wants to see her? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Amanda, if you're reading this, Lia is a better person than you and thanks to your pathetic posts, everyone knows it. Your attempted power play over Lia has blown back on you in the best possible way.
I'm so happy for Lia. I fully 100% believe she can do better (sorry, I know it's your brother but absolutely NOT). I wish her the best and I hope you have a blast at your wedding.
I will be patiently awaiting more updates. Would love to hear how your brother handles all of this. I also want to know if she tries to go to the wedding. This is crazy but your brother is the ass home for sure you made the right call. Good for Lia for getting out I hope she doesn't go back to him honestly she deserves better
Amanda wants to meet the "old gang" at the wedding as she knows if she organised anything herself to get everyone to meet up they would all blow her off, as they have done blockong her drama. So the only way she can recreate the old drama is by hijacking someone elses event which they would be turning up to. Personally, I'd keep Lia invited and drop the brother. Lia and the "old gang" can swap war stories of how Amanda screwed them over.
I would put on her post see this is why your not invited and post a pick me girl on it
Amanda seems like she never got out of the high school mind set
She's the kind of person who doesn't work as a person in real life. Like, she could be a delightful villain in a high school drama (Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale comes to mind), but the concept just doesn't carry over to the real world. She is not who she thinks she is
[удалено]
God, I hate girls like Amanda. Coincidentally, I had a friend who was in a similar situation. She had this unhealthy relationship with her boy best friend, but her case was a bit different: They were in love, but she was reluctant to give him a chance because he was really unreliable. So they kept this unhealthy friendship that ruined their attempts at a relationship. The solution for this bullshit was when we pushed them to date. They got together, she had a taste of how shitty he was as a partner, so they eventually broke up and ended the friendship. Your brother is only gonna be set free when he acts on his feelings for her, realizes how shitty she is, and loses the romanticized idea he had of her.
Part of me kinda hopes your brother brings Amanda to your wedding, so you can kick *both* of them out, lol.
>My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations. Your mom is a G lmaooo
Mom is a real one, lol. You always need someone like OP’s mom in your corner.
This is insane. You can’t force yourself into an event you were not invited to regardless of any other piece of the puzzle. This woman is a nut job. Brother sucks for not telling her to permanently get lost.
You are a very good writer. I enjoyed this, way to keep it simple and yet included all the information.
Your brother is a fool. She uses him till she finds a new toy. She will only come back when she has no one else.
Hopefully Amanda won't show up at the wedding expecting a dramatic romcom-style thing, where the will they won't they is finally settled and the guy's mean sister gets covered in cake or something. Not saying that's likely, but it seems like she thinks herself a romcom protagonist. Reminds me of my SIL. She posted once on Instagram about an occasion when no one crossed the street when the signal said not to until she did. How she was leading the gentle little lambs who weren't bold enough to think for themselves. She topped it off by bragging about the "bitchy smile" (her words, not mine) she gave the driver who was being delayed by her doing this. It's like she thinks she's in a fucking Mentos commercial.
I have a funny feeling Amanda begged brother to bring her to the wedding to see the “gang all together” because she wants to see them and they don’t like her or keep in touch with her.
How TF is it op’s fault if Amanda does something “to harm herself” to get her way? I’m going to come off as horribly insensitive, because partially I am, but as someone who honestly dealt with thoughts of end of the line self harm this is infuriating. There is a massive difference between hating yourself so much you are seriously considering endgame, and “I’m not getting my way so I’m going to hold my breath until I die because everyone sucks.” I new a girl like this as a teenager, I sat and watched her hold her breath until she was blue in the face, our friends were crying pleading for her to breathe, I just sat there. She didn’t have a plastic bag over her head, she wasn’t close to water, worst case scenario she would pass out and INVOLUNTARILY start to breathe again. Op, I’m truly sorry that your brother is a clinical doofus. Congratulations on the wedding, I wish you a beautiful and peaceful married life.
Disinvite dingus brother, keep Lia. Better trade-off imo cuz she seems cool af.
Kudos to you and Lia! Woot!
So your brother is out & Lia is still invited, right?
Hi Amanda! So glad that everyone in your circle hates you and loves OP 😂 have a great life xoxo
Honestly? I’d uninvite your brother so that Lia can be more comfortable in coming. He can go sulk with Amanda.
Good for Lia. She learned that being thirsty doesn’t mean you need to drink poison.
F off Amanda. You suck. The epitome of a pick me girl.
I read both posts and was Sutton mean that David and Lia were still together as a couple when he decided to take Amanda as his Plus One. That, by itself, would be justification for splitting up. I hope Lia attends the wedding.
I have some very close friends who happen to be men. And I have never had trouble with their girlfriends or wives. The closest thing to that would be the girlfriend who said she wanted to break up and just be friends like he was with me. She said it to him and repeated it to me. I told both of them that I don’t blame her. He’s a good friend but I sure the hell wouldn’t want to date him. They are now just friends and I know she’s much happier now. He wishes he had changed before it was too late but he knows he is to blame. Amanda sounds like a nightmare and I don’t blame OP for not wanting anything to do with her.
Update us after the wedding. Did your brother go? Did Amanda try to crash it? Has your brother come to his senses? How is Lia doing?
I’m so glad you stood your ground and that Lia got out of there. Those two definitely had an emotional affair at least. And I wouldn’t put an actual affair past them. Hopefully your brother takes her advice and starts to realize that Amanda is causing his other relationships around him to crumble into dust and that she’s not the person he should be clinging on to.
I was going to ask, why doesn’t your brother just make it exclusive with Amanda since he seems to prioritize her over everyone anyway? Why string his girlfriends around when he clearly doesn’t put them first? I think, while no one likes Amanda, everyone will leave his love life business alone if he just makes his decision and sticks to it regarding Amanda. Though, I do wonder if part of his resistance to making a commitment to Amanda is because he knows no one likes her. Regardless, this is his mess. He should not have invited Amanda to a wedding when dating another woman. That’s just disrespectful!
It sounds like Amanda doesn't want to date him, even if he wants to date her. She's keeping him around, though
That may be true. Maybe she enjoys playing with him. Regardless, he shouldn’t be dating other women if he can’t understand how his actions are harmful to the relationship. If he can’t prioritize his girlfriends over a friend, he’s not really available to date.
Agreed
That was my comment on the first post. Weddings are a couples/family event.
I bet op brother is gonna try and pull a fast one and bring Amanda anyway but if I were OP I’d tell her brother that if he pulls that then there will be a big screen with all their texts to each other along with the texts that she’s sending to OP along with all her posts on SM and tell if he really cares about Amanda then it will be within his best interests to leave her ass at home.
Have security at your wedding. Probably take your brother off the guest list as well, chances are he'll try and cause some drama.
give security photos of the uninvited
That’s sad. Your brother had a good woman and relationship and blew it up for a nobody.
Fuck Amanda fr. And for Lia good riddance girlllll!!! Let that losers entertain each other, good for you to leave these circuses. I wish OP a happy ceremony bcs god know this might be just the beginning.
I’m both heartbroken and cheering for Lia, that girl knows her worth and knows that she deserves better than a man who will always pine away for the woman who keeps him as her backup plan. How unfortunate for your brother that he ruined his relationship with Lia for Amanda, who I bet will slowly lose interest now that she wrecked his relationship. Amanda’s going to slowly push him back to the back burner, where he belongs for her. If he doesn’t shape up soon, he’s going to end up old and alone, scrabbling for any scrap of attention she’ll toss his way. OP, I wish you could rescind your brother’s invitation and just invite Lia instead. Bring her into your friend group, because found family can be some of the best family out there. She deserves the best, and you girl, you sound like the kind of friend she deserves. All women could use a friend like you, and I hope you have some friends like you too. Here’s wishing you a happy wedding, and an even happier marriage.
This was a very satisfying update to your first post, bc you've managed to contain the drama, not let Amanda upend anything, and keep your wedding on track and your life calm. You were very clear and direct with Amanda that she's not coming to the wedding (loved what you said to her!), and have been able to sit back and watch her dig her own hole, while your friends and family (your brother aside) have your back, which is awesome! I am sad for Lia, she doesn't deserve to go through this. But I'm glad that she stood up for herself and confronted him, didn't hold back, and kicked him out. It's unfortunate your brother is so delusional about Amanda and is falling for her antics, and doesn't care that he's hurting people this way, but at least Lia isn't putting up with his bs. Her message to people was beautiful! I'm glad she knows all these people out in the real world support her, and I hope she decides to turn this "break" she's on with your brother into a permanent one. She deserves better. And Lia is lucky to have you. Btw, your mom ROCKS!! I loved her response to your brother, not falling for that manipulation tactic. So sad your brother has, and doesn't see it for the desperate ploy to get her way that it is. Amanda loves herself too much to ever hurt herself. And actually, your mom is right, that IS the right thing to do if she threatens to harm herself, so it's the appropriate response anyway, as well as telling your brother her ploy won't get her into your wedding! Go Mom! I hope you have a wonderful, fun, and PEACEFUL wedding! Please update us afterward - Redditors will be dying to hear if Amanda tries to crash and gets led away in handcuffs! 😂 Congratulations on the wedding, and for handling this whole situation so well!
I am so happy Lia is done with him. Please make sure you hire security for your wedding in case he does bring the homewrecker with him.
Shout out to Lia. I'm so glad she held strong and walked away. She deserves someone who loves her and never chooses another woman over her. Amanda reminds me of my mom. An attention seeking narcissist who thinks any attention is good attention and she'll grasp at anything to get it (hence why she asks herself questions on social media). Good luck to her. The only people that'll remain in her life are people who try to overlook her issues but still choose to talk behind her back. If she doesn't think so, just know I've had 28 years of experience with my mom being a narcissist and every one of her friends talks about her behind her back and uses the "deep deep down I think she means well, but (insert shit talking here).
Amanda better have enough dignity and common sense to stay away. Good for Lia! He clearly didn't learn after losing his previous girlfriend. I hope your wedding goes beautifully. If you're feeling up for it, please update after the wedding. I would love to hear how it goes and how you're both holding up. 😊 🙏
Good for Lia. She can do so much better
It’s insane your brother is 29 and acting like this ): so proud of lia though. Also, does amanda have a job or some sort of authority figure you could leak this info too? Sounds like she should get a taste of the real world for once
OH IN CASE SHE COMES HERE TOO! HI AGAIN AMANDA!! Glad to see the last time I checked that you still seem to spend 16 hours a day commenting (and getting downvoted to hell) on AITA
Is your brother still invited to your wedding?bc he could show up with Amanda
[удалено]
Lol your brother is gonna grow up to be David spades' character in "The do over". If you haven't seen it, it's pretty funny.
UpdateMe
It’s like they pulled this from a Chinese drama and said let’s make this real life 😭 I think your brother might be slow
Much love to you and Lia! I really hope Lia can find a healthy relationship and you two can still stay in contact. It’s really crazy how much it spiraled out of control. I’m so glad you will have peace on your wedding day and I’m sorry you received threats. I can’t believe it! Good work!
I hope Lia is still coming to your wedding! Give her a plus one!
Wow Amanda sounds horrible. If you are close to NY, I would be more than happy to play security guard against Amanda. Just saying
Amanda is toxic and immature. Your brother deserves to be dumped. His girlfriend dodged a bullet
I just know Morgan is somewhere screaming with joy that Lia and your brother are done-zo. Sending you all lots of healing energy. Summer’s just beginning! Fill it up with some adventure now that you’re free of the dead weight.
Op keep Lia dump your brother.
Personally, I would univite the brother and invite Lia instead. If the brother isn't there, Amanda has no excuse to even try to go, but I would give security their pictures to be safe.
Good luck with the wedding!! Looking forward to an update! 😊
Lia needs to follow her own advice
I hope Amanda and your brother finally get together and stop bringing other people into their mess
I really want an update of how terrible their life became. It’s so entertaining to read about entitled people getting what they deserved.
I’m so glad that Lia got out of there!! And way to go saying that Amanda would be escorted out of your wedding, it’s YOUR day!!
I have experience with Amanda's. From that experience I would say that she has borderline personality disorder and uses it for evil. I hope your brother takes Lia's advice.
Imagine being so focused on someone who continually treats you, your family, your friends, and your girlfriends like crap, but not being able to see it. It's kinda sad. But hey, at least the brother will truly get who he deserves.
While I know he's your brother, with everything going on, I would disinvite him from the wedding. I would also talk to Lia and invite her to it. She should never have been treated like that.
If that was my brother, he'd be disinvited from the wedding too. He's allowing a narcissistic person to control his life and by extension anyone he's associated with. Yuck.
$20 Amandas gonna get pregnant to the brother in the next 6 months
> Lia is not the only special woman in my brother's life. um what? no matter how close of a friendship I have with some guys I cant imagine being a +1 to a wedding with any of them. or is that just me? relationship vampires are wild and I'll just never understand whatever their line of thinking is
This was a fun read 👌
I’d uninvite your brother and tell Lia that she’s more than welcome and not to worry about your brother being there.
Amanda “pick me - pick me” this is for you. DO ONE 😘
Wow dude has no spine or balls. You let this girl keep you on the back burner until she's ready the shelf you when it's done? I'm sorry OP and Lia, yall deserve better than this jellyfish.
Updateme
Updateme!
!updateme
Updateme!
Updateme
Updateme
Update me
UpdateMe!
Updateme
👏👏👏 you and Lia are both amazing. I hope you both have a long friendship.
👏👏👏 you and Lia sound amazing. I hope you guys have a long friendship. Amanda can kick rocks. She makes the rest of us look bad. If she does show up at your wedding and you have her escorted out please come back and tell us all about it 🤣
Woof
Updateme!
Updateme
Wow. I kind of thought when reading the original that I hoped Lia woke up to what what really going on but was unsure if that would happen. I’m so glad that Amanda kept up the crazy and Lia saw the truth. I hope you nothing but happened with your wedding and that Lia finds someone who loves her so much better.
This Amanda is a real POS. She's keeping your brother on a leash and is crying like she's a victim. She doesn't love and doesn't even like him. He's just this convenient little pet she call when she's feeling down, this is so sad. Your brother needs to have some self respect. I'm happy for Lia. She seems like an amazing girl with her head on her shoulders. She know her worth and she won't settle to being the 2nd choice. Hope your brother can see at some point how a good sister you are and than you have his best interest at heart
Your brother needs to ditch Amanda. If not he's going to end up sad and alone still waiting on Amanda to decide he's finally good enough for her or they're going to end up a bitter toxic lonely couple because no one can stand to be around them and their drama. Good on lia for kicking him out. Hopefully, he realises how much he's losing by keeping the toxic pick me around.
On SMOSH Reads Reddit recently, they did a story about a girl who wrote in about her boyfriend and how he chose his girl best friend for a tropical vacation when it was originally supposed to be a couples trip. I’m pretty certain that it was about your brother, since the facts match up to what you said about his previous relationship in your oriental post. Might be interested to check out!
UpdateMe
Bro who emails acquaintances outside of work???
UpdateMe!
This is just wow! Men don’t think with their brains….. And that Amanda is a piece of work!
Updateme
Updateme!
Uninvite your brother and keep Lia, she seems like a friend you’re gonna wanna keep around!
It sounds like you might need to uninvite your brother. He’s so loyal to Amanda that he’ll take her to the wedding anyways
Amanda sounds like a literal child. They deserve each other honestly. Lia is wayyyyy better off without any of that nonsense
UpdateMe
If your brother is allowed to come to the wedding at this point I can pretty much guarantee he will try to cause a scene or somehow ruin your wedding. It’s time to disinvite him. Invite Lia instead
You did the right thing.I feel sorry for your brother, he is ruining his life with his own hands, if he continues like this he will end up sad and alone. Is it possible that no one I capable to wake him up and to make him understand how dominated he is? From the way Op describes him, it seems that when there isn't Amanda in the equation , he's a great person, but as soon as Amanda arrives he changes completely, is there really no one capable of instilling some common sense in his head?
TIL that Two Hot Takes is a podcast and YT show, not just a cool name for a subreddit 🤦🏻♂️
It's actually crazy how wrapped up in this woman he is that he's basically threatening to cut you, his sister, out of his life because you didn't want her at your wedding. That's an obsession and bond he needs therapy for.
Please update if Amanda tries to attend the wedding 🙄
UpdateMe!
I am waiting and hoping for the update when your brother realizes how toxic this relationship is and how much it has caused him to loose before he looses you and other family members. All of Amanda’s behaviors are about her and going to your wedding and making sure the attention is on her, while all your brother’s behaviors are about making her number one. At some point he will realize that he is all alone because he has made his life about one person who only cares about herself and doesn’t care for him but the attention he gives her.
May I suggest you uninvite your brother along with Amanda and just keep Lia? 😂 But seriously, Amanda is a very toxic, manipulative person (albeit, failing at the manipulation part quite a bit). I know we tend to use “toxic” a lot, but this is truly an unhealthy situation for everyone, including her. Whether or not she has feeling for your brother, keeping him as a “backup” will do nothing but hurt her since any good partner would get fed up and leave her, similar to how Lia is leaving your brother. There is some deep rooted insecurity somewhere, which is why she keeps a “just in case” guy nearby. I’m glad to hear that “the gang” isn’t fond of her anymore and those around you don’t believe her. This would hopefully be enough to show her how little support she has and what her future will be if she doesn’t change her ways.