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This here was like salt in a wound for me but no less than what I deserved. Maybe that other person was dealing with all those things too idk your specific situation. But it sounds like this girl may have really cared for this person... Sounds like she had a lot of sympathy and understanding for a lot of people. She sounds like someone who has a beautiful soul. The other person may have just been going through something themselves, maybe try sitting with them and conversation with them would help clear misunderstandings on both sides.
The spin is, once she gets over it she’ll have a sick sixth sense for other people who intend to do the same thing to her again..
(You know what I’m saying here?)
Life repeats itself.
It makes shitty carbon copies too.
Hahahahahhahahaa
Hahahhahaah
Hahahahahaha
The one person who helped me by just being there for me (not even doing anything just their presence for me was enough comfort) ended up hurting more than all that combined 🙂↕️
Bruh same, like I told them I was going through some things and they felt like I hated them and cut me off even though I told them I didn't. That shit hurts and yeah... maybe I will keep them at a distance because relationship arent all sunshine and rainbows. Running away from someone going through hardship makes things worse.
This! All of this…I don’t like portraying myself as a victim. I don’t want pity. However, what’s been done to me online and in REAL life goes beyond what most could ever personally deal with. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! I have made rash decisions that I have apologized for but I can always prove my “whys” and reactions. When people purposely lie to me it only makes me seek the truth further. I wanted peace…and love that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Others are so focused on money and “winning” they have lost sight of what truly matters. Maybe…just maybe we should talk face to face without any babble. I’ve tried to do that but I’m still fed lies. It’s disheartening to know things that they don’t….how I begged for the “prophecy” to be changed for them. Knowing how much it would hurt kids. And then watching them continue to purposely hurt me. They are the ones who are truly physically sick and I believe need help. They will say they are “fine.” They will pretend their health is perfect but it’s not. He knows I know his life expectancy and because of that I want him to LIVE. I want him to be HAPPY even after all he’s done to me. After all he’s done to her….lies have a way of surfacing no matter how hard to try to hide them. I take comfort in that.
That hit so hard ....from my health to passing of my mother to everyone that I loved betraying me when I needed them...I am still not the same. There's wounds that will never heal ...I wish there was no one else that had that story ....I hope there's someone to live her like she deserves
Been there so many times. I just wanted to cry and have someone say it was okay. I don’t have that. No one does that for me. It happened once and they didn’t mean it. Hugged me like I was a germ…
Sad to say that I can.... because of the immature and inconsiderate person I used to be... I've done this to a person who actually loved me. And when she finally left is when I realized what I lost. I lost the only person who ever showed me love. The only person that was there for me. In essence I lost my home. A life long regret I have to carry with me that gets heavier each day that I sleep and wake up alone. Her absence has taught me so much about love and about myself. I'm so sorry L... I hope that you've forgiven me, healed, and that your happy. 🙏
-R
They only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. They can't imagine, because they don't even want to try. It's 'too much work'. Doing my best is too much work as well, it'd would be nice to at least feel considered, listened to, and cared for.
I wonder how many exes of my ex are invited to be in this exercise. I wonder how many that sit upon the high stool here, or on the FB pages dedicated to the destruction of cheaters, I wonder what would be exposed if the cameras flipped. You know based on church and politicians data alone that it would dismantle your entire validity. The validity you feel gives you judge, jury, and executioner rights. Remember as the suicide rate rises and or murder rate rises within any of these clubs you got ( pages or subreddits) the heat will be turned up. Charles Manson never killed anyone himself. Pull the wool from over your eyes kids it’s only going to go down bad. Really really bad. Nobody is so special we are all made of carbon. We eat, we make mistakes ( I’ve apologized for the very last time) and eventually we die. Don’t be the cause and effect that would have a person leaving before their time. There’s nothing Karmic about that.
Running from someone, her child who only had *you* as a father because hers died, and exclaiming that you were a victim? I don’t see how you could have done it, without doing anything to help resolve the situation. There was definitely an answer. I don’t see how that could be the solution unless you are a coward.
yeah he did tell me « I’m not responsible for your emotions » after telling me I was the most interesting person he has ever met and that he felt I was the one. We met after a post I made on reddit where I was talking about wanting to kill myself. We talked had strong feelings decided to meet and the after that he said « no I’m sorry » which is fine if he took responsibility for telling me all those cheesy shit that led me to fall in love in a weak moment of my life. Interesting guy
That would be a horrible experience to go through. If this was written by my previous love. I'd say you're leaving out the crap you were doing to me to make me do that to you. I'm glad you aren't her. No one should have to go through what you went through. That's terribly draining, and destroys your emotions.
Imagine.... doing everything you possibly can for someone out of love only to have them respond to you with coldness, yelling, and meaningless arguments that always go back to you being the monster that's never done anything right. Imagine you start to pull away from that person because of how hurt you feel by this rejection, only for them to change faces and start crying for your affection, demanding your attention and accusing you of never caring about them in the first place. Putting blame on you and creating self-doubt and a sense of shame for your reaction to their rejection. Just imagine that maybe everyone is hurt and it's everyone's fault, not just yours or theirs. C'est la vie. So let's be nice to each other.
Imagine trying to help and being there to open up to, talk with openly being open and inviting willing to work together towards understanding but being given the cold shoulder. Imagine being cut off when you were trying to reconcile and repair the relationship addressing the flaws, imagine being cut off for trying to do what was requested without being told/communicated, imagine the feeling of being concerned about detaching holding out through the turmoil instead of letting them go (which I realize now was the only true way to help, sometimes you have to let people stay with themselves to realize what is wrong with them) .
Imagine tolerating their best friend putting you down without them calling their friend out for belittling what was once a crush to you, I wonder do you know what it's like to have similar wounds or less severe except for the intermittence of utilized/weaponized affection? How does it feel to have to search for love outside of the family for hugs because hugs are begrudgingly given, starved of affection and support from time to time on a physical level but always isolated away from their own family psychologically never having someone trustworthy to open up to who wouldn't weaponize information as leverage for control?
I'm sorry for them having been through what you have gone through but imagine being distanced from suddenly for the few times that speech was slurred then transformed into somehow being a mean comment or slight despite being nonsense? If you're Shannon I hope you know that everyone is a victim not just you or her, I extended an offer for reconciliation...I tried to do as was requested of me denying myself the one thing I needed from the question I kept asking, the confirmation that I was correct in what my mistakes were so that the next opportunity life gave me to not end up without someone to be vulnerable with due to repeated failures, someone who I could trust and grow with while striving towards my life goal of getting a career in IT that circumstances outside of my control denied me when I finally was given the opportunity to get myself through the door.
I realized that the opportunity was there for me to ask for plenty of people to be references to help me get a job, it felt like using people to ask for someone to be a reference. I felt that it might have been inappropriate to ask someone who I knew for a few years to be a reference, I know that the others might have given me a chance but I also didn't want to negatively impact their career by getting them down as a reference only to then fail the interview or not being to fulfill job functions stemming from insecurities conditioned in from childhood.
Doesn't help that by 2019 most people were unwilling to talk to me and be a reference, I did get an opportunity but I got turned away from the only opportunity I had in case you were wondering why I became more unhinged later on I was facing being homeless and failing everyone both alive and deceased who placed such high hopes on me.
I'm sorry for what you are going through, I wanted to take a chance and clear up matters if that person genuinely cared about what happened. Don't do what happened to people like me, if they betray you it's their own problem that will come back to them eventually. Unfortunately justice doesn't happen, sometimes people are pardoned while others lose everything justice isn't equal it's imbalanced.
I'm sorry you went through that.
I was one of those to my most recent ex... but she's also a hypocrite--she manipulated me, gas lit me, and was over all toxic. She would do things deliberately, when I just wanted good communication and a chance to be heard. We probably both felt the same.
Dear users of /r/UnsentLetters, Submitters may now lock their own comments by making a comment on their submission with the string '!lock.' Submitters may do this at any point they wish, but the comments can not be unlocked later on, so lock your comments with care! You can read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/about/rules/) here. We have these stickied to EVERY POST and nobody reads them. **READ THEM** If you notice anything strange going on in the subreddit, send the mods a message or report it. We rely on the community to keep the subreddit on topic and welcoming. If you are particularly good at spotting trolls, consider joining our mod team! [Click here to message the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) - The /r/UnsentLetters mod team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Too close to home. Now imagine that they know all of this and double down on hurting her, looking to perfect their craft.
Kick her when she's down... yup. That's scum of the earth stuff to do to "the one you love."
Very true. But when you really think about it….scum of the earth stuff to do to anybody, lover or not.
There’s wisdom from Miyamoto Musashi in letting an enemy strike. It’s all about strategy and tactics. War is an art after all.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Obi-wan after some whole hearted reflection
Yeah... I divorced the guy who did that to me. 🫤
Congratulations on your freedom.
This here was like salt in a wound for me but no less than what I deserved. Maybe that other person was dealing with all those things too idk your specific situation. But it sounds like this girl may have really cared for this person... Sounds like she had a lot of sympathy and understanding for a lot of people. She sounds like someone who has a beautiful soul. The other person may have just been going through something themselves, maybe try sitting with them and conversation with them would help clear misunderstandings on both sides.
There u go! Sold idea !
The spin is, once she gets over it she’ll have a sick sixth sense for other people who intend to do the same thing to her again.. (You know what I’m saying here?) Life repeats itself. It makes shitty carbon copies too.
Yep! I deal with this on the daily.
[удалено]
Exactly my situation....but no one seems to think about what I face but only that I seem cold and mean...they don't even ask why I cry
Me too same thing. The people that should, don't and it hurts ....so much
Hahahahahhahahaa Hahahhahaah Hahahahahaha The one person who helped me by just being there for me (not even doing anything just their presence for me was enough comfort) ended up hurting more than all that combined 🙂↕️
Same. The friendly shoulder I chose to cry on decided to rip the rug right out from under me.
A true asshole does this…I can relate
Imagine indeed.
:( that’s me rn.. it’s too painful
That was me! I definitely empathize with her. I hope things improve for her 🥺🙏
Me to but I’m home home she comes to be home
All too relatable. I'm so sorry, OP. Nobody deserves to be taken for granted like that. :(
Imagine two people doing that to each other because past trauma has them so guarded they don’t know how to communicate with each other properly.
Yeah, i attempted to change to late. I'm sorry tee.
Oh. are you my ex? 😂
Maybe sorry and ya hurting you was scumish
That one hit pretty close
Yupp but somehow always in the wrong, never assisted only to be corrected coldly.
So you met my ex??
It’s okay… I’ll find the strength to leave soon…
Could’ve wrote this about myself🙂
Sounds like exactly what I’ve been through for the past multiple years
Bruh same, like I told them I was going through some things and they felt like I hated them and cut me off even though I told them I didn't. That shit hurts and yeah... maybe I will keep them at a distance because relationship arent all sunshine and rainbows. Running away from someone going through hardship makes things worse.
I broke off my "almost engagement" to that guy.
Don’t have to. I did it. Hate myself for it, but I’ve got to hate myself in silence. Penance sucks. Sorry to see you go through it, OP🧡🤘🏼
Feel this.
[удалено]
Then your not who the post is talking about
What do you mean- imagine???!!!! Lemme tell ya! I friggin love you babies God bless u keep you so safe.
Plz I’m home
right up, sad some can people manage to do that.
This! All of this…I don’t like portraying myself as a victim. I don’t want pity. However, what’s been done to me online and in REAL life goes beyond what most could ever personally deal with. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! I have made rash decisions that I have apologized for but I can always prove my “whys” and reactions. When people purposely lie to me it only makes me seek the truth further. I wanted peace…and love that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Others are so focused on money and “winning” they have lost sight of what truly matters. Maybe…just maybe we should talk face to face without any babble. I’ve tried to do that but I’m still fed lies. It’s disheartening to know things that they don’t….how I begged for the “prophecy” to be changed for them. Knowing how much it would hurt kids. And then watching them continue to purposely hurt me. They are the ones who are truly physically sick and I believe need help. They will say they are “fine.” They will pretend their health is perfect but it’s not. He knows I know his life expectancy and because of that I want him to LIVE. I want him to be HAPPY even after all he’s done to me. After all he’s done to her….lies have a way of surfacing no matter how hard to try to hide them. I take comfort in that.
Just walked away from this very situation. Almost word for word actually 🤷♀️
That’s what my ex did to me
I can’t imagine that. It is impossible and it won’t get a hypothetical thought either.
That hit so hard ....from my health to passing of my mother to everyone that I loved betraying me when I needed them...I am still not the same. There's wounds that will never heal ...I wish there was no one else that had that story ....I hope there's someone to live her like she deserves
Been there so many times. I just wanted to cry and have someone say it was okay. I don’t have that. No one does that for me. It happened once and they didn’t mean it. Hugged me like I was a germ…
Sad to say that I can.... because of the immature and inconsiderate person I used to be... I've done this to a person who actually loved me. And when she finally left is when I realized what I lost. I lost the only person who ever showed me love. The only person that was there for me. In essence I lost my home. A life long regret I have to carry with me that gets heavier each day that I sleep and wake up alone. Her absence has taught me so much about love and about myself. I'm so sorry L... I hope that you've forgiven me, healed, and that your happy. 🙏 -R
They only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear. They can't imagine, because they don't even want to try. It's 'too much work'. Doing my best is too much work as well, it'd would be nice to at least feel considered, listened to, and cared for.
I wonder how many exes of my ex are invited to be in this exercise. I wonder how many that sit upon the high stool here, or on the FB pages dedicated to the destruction of cheaters, I wonder what would be exposed if the cameras flipped. You know based on church and politicians data alone that it would dismantle your entire validity. The validity you feel gives you judge, jury, and executioner rights. Remember as the suicide rate rises and or murder rate rises within any of these clubs you got ( pages or subreddits) the heat will be turned up. Charles Manson never killed anyone himself. Pull the wool from over your eyes kids it’s only going to go down bad. Really really bad. Nobody is so special we are all made of carbon. We eat, we make mistakes ( I’ve apologized for the very last time) and eventually we die. Don’t be the cause and effect that would have a person leaving before their time. There’s nothing Karmic about that.
Yes do feel like scum sorry hurt you
Relatable
My husband is like this. I don’t take it personally. I just realize he is a shell of a human.. and I move on.
So was there
That's my ex all day.
Damn shit was too real
Yeah he didn't care what was happening to me.
Super close to home :(
Thank you for expressing this
Because it is easy to imagine, but not something that is ok to talk about. Well done OP.
Leaving you at your truest darkest time? Yes, and it was *all my fault *
Running from someone, her child who only had *you* as a father because hers died, and exclaiming that you were a victim? I don’t see how you could have done it, without doing anything to help resolve the situation. There was definitely an answer. I don’t see how that could be the solution unless you are a coward.
Not who your looking for either
My response was not that of someone who mistook you. Simply venting. I relate to *her*
Don't need to imagine. It's happened and probably will many times over for me. People suck.
yeah he did tell me « I’m not responsible for your emotions » after telling me I was the most interesting person he has ever met and that he felt I was the one. We met after a post I made on reddit where I was talking about wanting to kill myself. We talked had strong feelings decided to meet and the after that he said « no I’m sorry » which is fine if he took responsibility for telling me all those cheesy shit that led me to fall in love in a weak moment of my life. Interesting guy
I felt this one .. I was in a similar situation. 😞
Yes, so much yes
do we have the same ex? 😭
I mean can you truly imagine just disgusting… and expecting an apology…. People like this make my skin crawl.
That would be a horrible experience to go through. If this was written by my previous love. I'd say you're leaving out the crap you were doing to me to make me do that to you. I'm glad you aren't her. No one should have to go through what you went through. That's terribly draining, and destroys your emotions.
Imagine.... doing everything you possibly can for someone out of love only to have them respond to you with coldness, yelling, and meaningless arguments that always go back to you being the monster that's never done anything right. Imagine you start to pull away from that person because of how hurt you feel by this rejection, only for them to change faces and start crying for your affection, demanding your attention and accusing you of never caring about them in the first place. Putting blame on you and creating self-doubt and a sense of shame for your reaction to their rejection. Just imagine that maybe everyone is hurt and it's everyone's fault, not just yours or theirs. C'est la vie. So let's be nice to each other.
Imagine trying to help and being there to open up to, talk with openly being open and inviting willing to work together towards understanding but being given the cold shoulder. Imagine being cut off when you were trying to reconcile and repair the relationship addressing the flaws, imagine being cut off for trying to do what was requested without being told/communicated, imagine the feeling of being concerned about detaching holding out through the turmoil instead of letting them go (which I realize now was the only true way to help, sometimes you have to let people stay with themselves to realize what is wrong with them) . Imagine tolerating their best friend putting you down without them calling their friend out for belittling what was once a crush to you, I wonder do you know what it's like to have similar wounds or less severe except for the intermittence of utilized/weaponized affection? How does it feel to have to search for love outside of the family for hugs because hugs are begrudgingly given, starved of affection and support from time to time on a physical level but always isolated away from their own family psychologically never having someone trustworthy to open up to who wouldn't weaponize information as leverage for control? I'm sorry for them having been through what you have gone through but imagine being distanced from suddenly for the few times that speech was slurred then transformed into somehow being a mean comment or slight despite being nonsense? If you're Shannon I hope you know that everyone is a victim not just you or her, I extended an offer for reconciliation...I tried to do as was requested of me denying myself the one thing I needed from the question I kept asking, the confirmation that I was correct in what my mistakes were so that the next opportunity life gave me to not end up without someone to be vulnerable with due to repeated failures, someone who I could trust and grow with while striving towards my life goal of getting a career in IT that circumstances outside of my control denied me when I finally was given the opportunity to get myself through the door. I realized that the opportunity was there for me to ask for plenty of people to be references to help me get a job, it felt like using people to ask for someone to be a reference. I felt that it might have been inappropriate to ask someone who I knew for a few years to be a reference, I know that the others might have given me a chance but I also didn't want to negatively impact their career by getting them down as a reference only to then fail the interview or not being to fulfill job functions stemming from insecurities conditioned in from childhood. Doesn't help that by 2019 most people were unwilling to talk to me and be a reference, I did get an opportunity but I got turned away from the only opportunity I had in case you were wondering why I became more unhinged later on I was facing being homeless and failing everyone both alive and deceased who placed such high hopes on me.
I am not her
I'm sorry for what you are going through, I wanted to take a chance and clear up matters if that person genuinely cared about what happened. Don't do what happened to people like me, if they betray you it's their own problem that will come back to them eventually. Unfortunately justice doesn't happen, sometimes people are pardoned while others lose everything justice isn't equal it's imbalanced.
But what did she do for him?
She probably should've said something about that to him. Communication something she was never good at. Just saying
I'm sorry you went through that. I was one of those to my most recent ex... but she's also a hypocrite--she manipulated me, gas lit me, and was over all toxic. She would do things deliberately, when I just wanted good communication and a chance to be heard. We probably both felt the same.