I can imagine with kids you never get a break. I have been under stress lately financially but overall my cells in my body and overall life path feel rather relaxed.
I count myself lucky but like a friend advised for my current stress, it's important to let go of things especially if we cannot control them (and that's a lot of things!)
32 and my husband and I were just talking about this. Life got so serious and stressful once we turned thirty. I really hope we can turn it around and start prioritizing ourselves.
I can’t really offer any advice as I only have the job/money part and I appreciate kids on top of that is WAY more stressful. One thing that really helped me with my personal stress though was to stop reading the news. Selfish, yes, but I am waaaaaaay calmer and happier. I don’t NEVER read the news but I used to be super into it, have the rolling screen on all the time, watch the debate shows etc. So that’s how I helped myself cope.
I’m 31, married, but no kids, good career. Not very stressed but it comes and goes. My husband and I do well financially and our house and debts are paid off. However we are planning on potentially having kids on the next few years so I’m really trying to enjoy how life is before I know the stress and chaos enters my life 😅
34, lab technician at a university, mortgage, 1 child with 1 on the way.
I'm rarely stressed at work because I work with a great team and work is mainly following protocols we developed and fun problem solving and troubleshooting. I'm pretty good at what I do, I do lots of favours for people so I'm pretty highly regarded in this place. My background is in plant science, mainly in how plants track the passage of seasons, my boss' background is in lizard genetics- even if they wanted to micromanage me they probably couldn't, so I'm largely left to my own devices.
Money doesn't worry me too much, I'm paying 100% of the mortgage and 85% of the bills on my salary right now, so the bride is happy just working 1 day per week from home. She's really good at saving so we've always got money for emergencies. I run out of money the day before pay day most weeks, but I've known true poverty before so I'm not that bothered.
Relationships stress me out sometimes. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder, which basically means that I don't derive pleasure from social interaction. Because I was diagnosed so late I got really good at masking this and on a superficial level people apparently find me quite a serious person, but generally helpful and good natured. When people do a cull of their friends to eliminate "toxic" people, I'm usually the first to go, which suits me fine because I'd much rather talk about aphid life cycles than help people with angst.
When the bride tells me things like, "I need you to be more emotionally supportive" I literally just have to google what that means because it's an alien request to me, and when I apply that google wisdom apparently I come across as disingenuous. Neurotypical people seem strange to me because they seem to need constant reassurance of self evident truths.
Child rearing is stressful for me with babies, because they're all emotional and zero logic. I get along extremely well with 3-10 year olds though, because I like talking about dinosaurs and ninjas and wizards. With babies I just try to minimise trauma and be a supportive husband. I do most of the child rearing when I'm home. My whole life I have always imagined myself reading The Hobbit to my kids and doing all of the voices and songs. Won't be much longer now. It is extremely important to me to foster a spirit of curiosity and creativity to my children and I want to be heavily involved in their academic and social development because I was a latchkey kid and I don't want them to suffer the same fate as me.
The most stressful thing for me right now is family obligations 650km away every weekend. That's an eight hour drive with a baby, so that's time off work away from my plants.
I play Dungeons and Dragons every week with my mates. Sometimes I don't feel like going, but I force myself to for the benefit of the guys I play with. Then we all eat junk food and drink rum and everything is fine again.
Stress and worry is often an imbalance from placing too much importance in things. If you can lessen how much importance you designate to things, worry and stress will automatically lessen.
One good way to lessen stress is to stop thinking about things and simply take action. Don't overthink what exactly the action is, just do something that moves you towards your goals.
Taking action will help to dissipate the over attribution of importance, stress, and worry.
Just turned 47, Female, no kids. I get stressed from time to time, but overall I handle things pretty well.
I truly think having kids, and just the day to day of keeping a person alive has to be one of the most stressful things in the world. Although I am sure it's rewarding, I think it wears on you.
35, married, 2 kids, I work full time. I am always stressed. The rare moments I relax it actually feels a bit weird. I hope as my kids get older and more independent it will ease up.
Over 45 here, one kid still on the payroll. I don't know if it's normal but I am never fully relaxed either. I assume it's normal.
And with so much training I assume also that I am quite good at managing it. Or winging it.
I’ll be 45 next week. Life doesn’t get easier, you just get better at it. The kids grow up a bit, too, and while that calms some things down, others pop up. Life360 and a debit card transaction pop up for an Uber pretty much told me that my 18yo freshman kid was drunk and/or out all night this past weekend, for example. So… yeah. 🤷♂️😂
35, married with no kids and I'm still stressed a lot of the time. Working full-time, renovating a house, and working on a graduate degree along with all of the other life stuff can be pretty stressful. I really don't understand how you parents do it.
My 30s are in someways less stressful, as my husband and are more financially stable, but between full time jobs, two kids, health issues, aging parents, dysfunctional extended families it feels like money stress has just been replaced by other kinds of stress.
In my 30’s. I work two part time jobs, have an 11 month old, go to school full time. Do drop off and pick up at daycare, cook 80% of the time.
You just gotta manage expectations. That’s all stress really is, expecting and wanting something and then worrying about it. Do what you can and know it may not get fully done and it’s ok if things aren’t perfect.
I’m stretched super thing, but everything’s gonna be alright.
Stress is always going to be there, it changes during each season or phase of life.
The key things I have found are...
-Understand what season you are in and what the stressors could be
-Make self care a priority. When you do things for your mind, body, spirit, you refill your battery and make it easier to take on challenges
-Don't add stress. Many people add unnecessary stress due to their choices
Stress is not bad itself. We are best when we continually improving ourselves so that things that used to be hard are easier. And when we are at our edge, so we can manage things, but also have a slight challenge to help us grow
Yes, and as my kids get older and involved in stuff/having things to go to... It just gets harder. It's hitting my partner more than me, he needs to have weekend unwind time but when there's a Cub scout thing one day then the next there's a birthday party at the skating rink it just piles on. We tag teamed it as best as we could so he did the scout thing and I stayed home then he stayed home while I did the party. Just gotta make it work as best as you can and give breaks if it's possible.
Not going to sugarcoat it. Between 30-45 is a blur that often is stressful. Between kids, career and house stuff you’re stretched thin. Try to stay active and fit in workouts where you can. Then remember everyone goes through this.
Between 30 and 45 I did three cross country moves, had a few kids, bought a couple of houses, lived through the real estate meltdown of 2008-10, lost a house, got a divorce and did a bunch of job changes.
But my 50’s have turned into my best decade yet. Survived my 30’s and 40’s by doing a lot of trail running to blow off steam.
I think for many people this is a typical life trajectory. satisfaction troughs in 30s/40s then rises again in the 50s as one knows oneself a lot better ( i think)
Divorce (esp with kids) sounds like the most brutal of those events.
Yup! My husband actually pointed that out to me recently too. And it’s true. Between how much there is to manage on a daily basis, I never feel fully relaxed. The solution? I don’t know. I guess we try our best with self care?
I don’t think it’s awful. I hope it’s comforting. When I confide in my friends (same age group and life situation), pretty much everyone feels the same way.
I can imagine with kids you never get a break. I have been under stress lately financially but overall my cells in my body and overall life path feel rather relaxed. I count myself lucky but like a friend advised for my current stress, it's important to let go of things especially if we cannot control them (and that's a lot of things!)
32 and my husband and I were just talking about this. Life got so serious and stressful once we turned thirty. I really hope we can turn it around and start prioritizing ourselves.
I can’t really offer any advice as I only have the job/money part and I appreciate kids on top of that is WAY more stressful. One thing that really helped me with my personal stress though was to stop reading the news. Selfish, yes, but I am waaaaaaay calmer and happier. I don’t NEVER read the news but I used to be super into it, have the rolling screen on all the time, watch the debate shows etc. So that’s how I helped myself cope.
I’m 31, married, but no kids, good career. Not very stressed but it comes and goes. My husband and I do well financially and our house and debts are paid off. However we are planning on potentially having kids on the next few years so I’m really trying to enjoy how life is before I know the stress and chaos enters my life 😅
34, lab technician at a university, mortgage, 1 child with 1 on the way. I'm rarely stressed at work because I work with a great team and work is mainly following protocols we developed and fun problem solving and troubleshooting. I'm pretty good at what I do, I do lots of favours for people so I'm pretty highly regarded in this place. My background is in plant science, mainly in how plants track the passage of seasons, my boss' background is in lizard genetics- even if they wanted to micromanage me they probably couldn't, so I'm largely left to my own devices. Money doesn't worry me too much, I'm paying 100% of the mortgage and 85% of the bills on my salary right now, so the bride is happy just working 1 day per week from home. She's really good at saving so we've always got money for emergencies. I run out of money the day before pay day most weeks, but I've known true poverty before so I'm not that bothered. Relationships stress me out sometimes. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder, which basically means that I don't derive pleasure from social interaction. Because I was diagnosed so late I got really good at masking this and on a superficial level people apparently find me quite a serious person, but generally helpful and good natured. When people do a cull of their friends to eliminate "toxic" people, I'm usually the first to go, which suits me fine because I'd much rather talk about aphid life cycles than help people with angst. When the bride tells me things like, "I need you to be more emotionally supportive" I literally just have to google what that means because it's an alien request to me, and when I apply that google wisdom apparently I come across as disingenuous. Neurotypical people seem strange to me because they seem to need constant reassurance of self evident truths. Child rearing is stressful for me with babies, because they're all emotional and zero logic. I get along extremely well with 3-10 year olds though, because I like talking about dinosaurs and ninjas and wizards. With babies I just try to minimise trauma and be a supportive husband. I do most of the child rearing when I'm home. My whole life I have always imagined myself reading The Hobbit to my kids and doing all of the voices and songs. Won't be much longer now. It is extremely important to me to foster a spirit of curiosity and creativity to my children and I want to be heavily involved in their academic and social development because I was a latchkey kid and I don't want them to suffer the same fate as me. The most stressful thing for me right now is family obligations 650km away every weekend. That's an eight hour drive with a baby, so that's time off work away from my plants. I play Dungeons and Dragons every week with my mates. Sometimes I don't feel like going, but I force myself to for the benefit of the guys I play with. Then we all eat junk food and drink rum and everything is fine again.
Stress and worry is often an imbalance from placing too much importance in things. If you can lessen how much importance you designate to things, worry and stress will automatically lessen. One good way to lessen stress is to stop thinking about things and simply take action. Don't overthink what exactly the action is, just do something that moves you towards your goals. Taking action will help to dissipate the over attribution of importance, stress, and worry.
“Everything’s gonna be all right” is a solid mantra. 👍🤙
It’s been a busy day, but I’m reading all these! I really appreciate everyone commenting and sharing!’
Just turned 47, Female, no kids. I get stressed from time to time, but overall I handle things pretty well. I truly think having kids, and just the day to day of keeping a person alive has to be one of the most stressful things in the world. Although I am sure it's rewarding, I think it wears on you.
35, married, 2 kids, I work full time. I am always stressed. The rare moments I relax it actually feels a bit weird. I hope as my kids get older and more independent it will ease up.
Over 45 here, one kid still on the payroll. I don't know if it's normal but I am never fully relaxed either. I assume it's normal. And with so much training I assume also that I am quite good at managing it. Or winging it.
I’ll be 45 next week. Life doesn’t get easier, you just get better at it. The kids grow up a bit, too, and while that calms some things down, others pop up. Life360 and a debit card transaction pop up for an Uber pretty much told me that my 18yo freshman kid was drunk and/or out all night this past weekend, for example. So… yeah. 🤷♂️😂
35, married with no kids and I'm still stressed a lot of the time. Working full-time, renovating a house, and working on a graduate degree along with all of the other life stuff can be pretty stressful. I really don't understand how you parents do it.
I second that. Idk how the hell I'm 38 with no kids yet I'm busy as fuck almost everyday. But then again, we have a lot of active friends.
My 30s are in someways less stressful, as my husband and are more financially stable, but between full time jobs, two kids, health issues, aging parents, dysfunctional extended families it feels like money stress has just been replaced by other kinds of stress.
In my 30’s. I work two part time jobs, have an 11 month old, go to school full time. Do drop off and pick up at daycare, cook 80% of the time. You just gotta manage expectations. That’s all stress really is, expecting and wanting something and then worrying about it. Do what you can and know it may not get fully done and it’s ok if things aren’t perfect. I’m stretched super thing, but everything’s gonna be alright.
Stress is always going to be there, it changes during each season or phase of life. The key things I have found are... -Understand what season you are in and what the stressors could be -Make self care a priority. When you do things for your mind, body, spirit, you refill your battery and make it easier to take on challenges -Don't add stress. Many people add unnecessary stress due to their choices Stress is not bad itself. We are best when we continually improving ourselves so that things that used to be hard are easier. And when we are at our edge, so we can manage things, but also have a slight challenge to help us grow
Life has only gotten more stressful over time
[удалено]
How can you be a teen and simultaneously be a former addict for 25 years?
I'm stressed all the time. I'm a parent, work full time, and have animals and a spouse. It's exhausting being an adult.
Spouses are exhausting, followed by kids lol
It is!
Yes, and as my kids get older and involved in stuff/having things to go to... It just gets harder. It's hitting my partner more than me, he needs to have weekend unwind time but when there's a Cub scout thing one day then the next there's a birthday party at the skating rink it just piles on. We tag teamed it as best as we could so he did the scout thing and I stayed home then he stayed home while I did the party. Just gotta make it work as best as you can and give breaks if it's possible.
My kids are still young, so it’s going to get crazier I’m sure…
Yeah my kids are 8/6/3 so I've only got two doing activities right now. I'm not looking forward to the three year old starting stuff too.
Not going to sugarcoat it. Between 30-45 is a blur that often is stressful. Between kids, career and house stuff you’re stretched thin. Try to stay active and fit in workouts where you can. Then remember everyone goes through this.
Again, I kind of love these answers. I’m not doing it wrong. Haha.
Nope, unless we're all doing it wrong. Which might be possible. There's no instruction manual with this.
I use the Bible as an instruction manual as I can. It definitely helps!
Between 30 and 45 I did three cross country moves, had a few kids, bought a couple of houses, lived through the real estate meltdown of 2008-10, lost a house, got a divorce and did a bunch of job changes. But my 50’s have turned into my best decade yet. Survived my 30’s and 40’s by doing a lot of trail running to blow off steam.
I think for many people this is a typical life trajectory. satisfaction troughs in 30s/40s then rises again in the 50s as one knows oneself a lot better ( i think) Divorce (esp with kids) sounds like the most brutal of those events.
Wow. That’s a lot.
One move was grad school related and two more for job transfers. Those were easy. It was riding out the housing crash that took its toll.
Yup! My husband actually pointed that out to me recently too. And it’s true. Between how much there is to manage on a daily basis, I never feel fully relaxed. The solution? I don’t know. I guess we try our best with self care?
A response like this makes me feel like I’m not alone. And that’s comforting. Is that awful? Lol
I don’t think it’s awful. I hope it’s comforting. When I confide in my friends (same age group and life situation), pretty much everyone feels the same way.
Thank you for this. I genuinely mean that.
You are welcome 😊😊