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Truth. If people put out a negative statement when they could have made their first impression a positive one where they also say what they are wanting and not what they are not wanting they would be more likely to achieve it.
It's all about what vibes well.
It's not so much that it's a negative statement to me, it's the way it's phrased. Putting stuff you aren't looking for saves everyone a lot of heartache in my opinion, but you have to be tactful about it. If this hypothetical profile said "I'm not looking for anything short term or casual" that would be fine. I don't know exactly how to describe it, entitled, outright mean, or what. "Don't waste my time" just comes off extremely poorly to me.
Yeah, that's basically what I mean.
It's negative because that's the energy behind it.
I agree that there's nothing wrong with saying what you want.
There's a nicer way to put it, but hey at least it makes it easy to swipe them away when they say something off putting.
I agree 100% say what you want, but don't be an ass about it.
Another example I've been seeing recently is *PLEASE BE FULLY DIVORCED* girl don't immediately put your trauma and bad experiences out there. Have some boundaries.
Also "be interesting and be able to hold a conversation." To me, that sounds like you're not interesting and you want me to entertain you.
While I agree with both of those statements, when you put it on a dating profile it makes you seem jaded and obnoxious.
I got into a whole thing with a poster in thread on the Tinder sub because I said that I will just automatically skip over any profile that lists a whole bunch of stuff someone *doesn’t* want. It basically makes me assume these are traits exes had, and that the profile owner is still bitter about them.
You have someone’s attention for a very very short time and you’re going to give me a list of *DIS*likes? That doesn’t make you sound fun to hang out with.
Yeah, they probably have some unresolved issues left from previous partners.
It doesn't resonate with me because I look at each new potential partner as a complete new person to explore.
I don't think anyone wants someone "wasting their time" purposefully, or maliciously, but they can just say, "looking for someone to connect with and for a deeper relationship for the long term."
It would probably work better.
I haven't online dated in years anyway.
It takes way too much time to find a match and it's much more difficult than IRL. But I'm not dating anyway because I have unresolved issues that I wouldn't want to burden someone else with.
Of course if I was going to find a partner I'd hope that we could work together through anything, but if you can't put your best foot forwards and are really not in a good place I would think it would be a good idea to be less focused on dating in general.
"Don't waste my time" can be felt by anyone.
Everyone responds differently to everything, but we all have time.
Hopefully in a relationship it would be seen as "our" time anyways.
It almost has a knee jerk reaction to me that is like, "Okay, I won't waste your time and I'll save mine. Thank you."
It's not even that, it's just a psychology of dating thing. Someone puts "don't waste my time" - they probably take forever to reply. Same for "you gotta have good banter" - this person will be absolutely terrible at holding a conversation. "Don't have time for drama" - this person will be the most drama you've ever encountered, ever. It's baffling but interesting
For sure about the drama one. If they’re female ‘no drama’ means “let me be free to do whatever I want whenever I want but I expect you do drop everything whenever I want you for something”. If they’re male ‘no drama’ means “I will be flaky and unreliable and treat you like shit most of the time but I still expect you to worship the ground I walk on and never call me out on bad behaviour”
Back when I used dating apps and was just looking for hookups I would always swipe right on the "just looking for friends".
I don't know if they hooked up with their other friends but we sure did.
It’s to weed out the: “…actually, I don’t have time for a relationship” “actually, I’m not emotionally available” “actually, work is too busy right now” “actually, I can’t give you the attention and affection you deserve” and the other million iterations of this that conveniently happen after they’ve led you to believe the opposite, and of course, after you’ve already had sex.
My dude: any woman who says "don't waste my time" Is wearing a giant target that tells men who are interested in sex "hey lie to me for as long as possible so we can have sex" 😂
Yeah I see lots of women complain about men's profiles. And sure their complaints are valid. But it's always couched in this implication that there's something distinct to men that makes their profiles low effort, cliche, bland, lazy.
Trust me, as a straight man, women's profiles are *not* even *one iota* better. Oh you like traveling? Wow. Oh you also know the best spot for tacos and espresso martinis. Incredible. Are you all in a club? You'll know you found the one when your dog likes me? Please it's a dog, dogs basically like everyone. The best way to ask you out is to just ask?
That's if anything is written at all. Plenty of bumble profiles are *entirely blank*. Why? Probably because they can get away with it.
The main difference here is that I don't complain about it because I know profiles are nothing. They're like 500 characters max. How much am I really going to learn about you? No matter what you put on there we need to go on a date. 90%+ of the work on anyone's profile is being done by the pictures. Are you attracted or not? Both men and women understand this, men are just more honest about it.
You’d be surprised. SCammers do. I get guys trying to pick me up on posts. I love your comments. They are so insightful. I just know we could be good friends if you would just friend me. Me: Thank you for your compliments, but I do not friend people I do not know. Him: oh, but you can friend me. We would become great friends because of yada yada yada…. Welcome to my world. And yes, I don’t have to answer these, but apps on a dating site I pay for…
Very bad idea.
For the manipulators and liars who just want a one time hookup, it will literally do nothing to deter them. If anything, it might raise a fun challenge.
For the good guys, they didn’t need a warning to begin with and you will only come across bitter and jaded.
So basically all you are doing is decreasing the number of good guys from your pool.
I’m a man. When I see don’t waste my time, I automatically assume she’s angry or unpleasant to be around. I could definitely be wrong. But why waste the 140 characters she has in a bio to just put that. It’s not a good first impression.
Yeah because it’s rude and abrasive. If you started up a conversation with someone in real life and that was their first response you’d think you’d think they were rude af. It’s rude; abrasive; dismissive and you’ve already quasi categorized all possible suiters as time wasters. Why would anyone bother engaging unless they were desperate?
Agree. I've also seen way worse in that category. Things like "if you're not serious, please fuck off" or "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ONS!!!". I mean, I am considering a serious relationship, and not looking for one-night stands either, but if such an aggressive tone is the first impression you want to give to a potential future partner, I'm afraid I'm not really tempted to try.
So I've definitely added the "not interested in ONS" bit because it's fucking infuriating to be so up front about seeking serious and long-term, only to go on dates with guys trying to grope me under the table or lunging in to kiss me while I'm actively speaking or forcing kisses on me, etc. Like what the fuck? I finally asked one guy why he'd think I was open to sex on the first date given I'd been very clearly not open to it at all times, and he said it was because most women say that and still put out.
It's frustrating and such a waste of time and of course people are going to try to make it clear in their profiles that they aren't interested. Dating via dating sites just sucks.
I mean, there's nothing wrong for me with women stating that on their profile. What matters to me is the way it is written, the tone (if that makes sense for written language). When I read that written in all-caps with three exclamation marks, I take it as gratuitous aggression. It's as if we just met for the first time and she would be already shouting at me.
I dumped a “friend” of 40 years a couple of years ago because I decided her “best” was not that great and certainly not worth her crazy-ass “worst.” She has literally posted that meme on FB many times over the years, so she is aware she’s a drama queen.
it's as bad as "my kids are my priority." like no crap but if you post it on your profile that means "ill use you for your wallet or when it's convenient but you're not going to be a priority for me. We KNOW kids are and should be a priority, but anyone who says it out loud doesn't actually are to date, they just want that free meal.
That would be off-putting, but at the same time I respect the fact that people who are dating kids are disclosing it. Unfortunately some people on dating apps won't tell you they have kids until a few dates in. It's a good disclosure for people who don't want to have kids at all or don't plan on being a step parent.
>That would be off-putting, but at the same time I respect the fact that **people who are dating kids** are disclosing it.
That's a very inconvenient typo lol
That or they do want to date, but you won't be happy long term. Plenty of parents treat their partners/the stepparents like trash because the "kids come first" and if/when the partner has any feelings or opinions, the kids are weaponized to shut them up.
So, besides avoiding being a meal ticket, it also means you're likely dealing with a guilty parent who will always place you last for petty shit. Kids come first, yes, but not every time and not always. A routine soccer practice is not more important than a surgery, or anniversary, etc.
Yeah and these kinds of women are frustrated that they keep getting the same types of men and then blame all men for being horrible because they match with the kind of dude who doesn't read profiles, just wants to hook up even if they have to lie about it and will literally cheat because they are sociopaths.
Work on your profile and put some effort into it so that good people want to actually talk to you. Otherwise, you're going to get trash people. You're just filtering yourself out from anyone worthwhile that is taking care to look at your profile and think about what kind of person you are, seeing the low effort/shit attitude, and then swiping left on you.
And then...they proceed to waste your time anyway. If u say hello, they 'bite' back, lol.
Seriously speaking, there's too many people wasting each other's time anyway, playing games and all. I don't get it either, those who are serious may see this and just swipe away, those who want a challenge or pickup, just swipe into it. Doesn't really change the outcome as intended, truthfully speaking.
Lady here. IDK, I never have and I think that’s stupid.
That’s like going shopping and being mad at all the shoes I tried on and didn’t like because “they wasted my time”
I think people who have this in their bio are people who have had a lot of guys come at them, masking their intentions for example some guys will lie to girls and tell them that they're looking for a relationship in their bio, and then explain that they only want hook ups.
For the ladies writing in the comments why it's supposed to be a good thing to write, let me make a comparison:
"Don't waste my time"=="don't be a gold digger"
The reaction to the first sentence is the same to the second
100% this
I understand trying to set clear expectations to weed out what you don't want, but this does NOT work
All it reads as, is bait for dudes who *will* waste your time because they see it as a challenge now, and off-putting for the dudes who wouldn't waste your time because it reads like you're already assuming the worst in them.
There is absolutely no world in which saying "don't waste my time" actually works at stopping guys from wasting your time.
When I read “Don’t waste my time” I never ever message to say hello. So as to why they do it , I have no idea , but it’s a clear message to me to avoid at all cost
What that usually means is, be up front with your intentions. Don't say that you want a relationship when you just want sex. Don't waste a woman's time by doing that.
It's easy (both as a man and as a woman) to carry on with conversation and planning dates and what not even if you aren't very interested because it is much harder to just be upfront and tell them that you don't really like them. I think this is what is being referred to with that saying. No one wants to go on successive dates or being led on only to be suddenly ghosted.
A stretch maybe but I read it more as "talk if you are actually interested in meeting and doing stuff in real life and also have the balls and decency to let me know if you don't like me, instead of leading me on for days "
This and other massively pretentious phrases are immediately off-putting. "I am X, so if you don't like it, move on!" "Don't waste my time, and I won't waste yours!" "Know how to hold a conversation!"
I have to tiptoe around and not be too bold, not too passive, not too outdoorsy, not too nerdy, etc. just to get no likes anyway and ghosted without reply more often than not when a match does occur.
It just chafes me when someone feels like such a gift to mankind that they make demands or imply insulting things about the reader in their bios, so I write them off immediately, because if someone in real life acted like that, I'd avoid the drama.
Princess type women, conditioned to think they're a catch, mane prize, jewel of the kingdom.
Avoid at all cost, pay attention to sane, well adjusted women.
It gives off vibes of someone who is bitter and angry. Losers aren't going to be warded off by the message, and winners will be repelled by the negative energy.
Instead, a person (male or female) who has high standards can figure out relatively quickly, which matches are time wasters and cut them off accordingly.
Kinda like this
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Tryin' to hold on, did-didn't even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
If they're looking to date for marriage or whatever, wasting their time would mean a guy looking for short-term messaging them. Or a guy who doesn't believe in marriage messaging them. Or a guy who wants kids when the woman is child free etc.
I don’t say that on my profile, but I do understand why some ladies might. Like mine clearly says I’m not into casual hookups (nothing wrong with those who are!) or want children (I can’t unfortunately and it’s always awkward to have to bring that up if he didn’t read or notice). Sometimes matches just swipe on looks alone, and it’s not like I’m even close to a 10, I’m just a normal looking chick, and don’t bother to read my profile. Literally I went on a date with a guy who hated dogs. I have two. I volunteer weekly at a shelter. He just never read that part. I don’t date smokers, not a fan of cigarette smoke or smell. Another date lit up as we were walking to coffee and offered me one. It sucks as a girl if you are chatting with a guy for days who seems cool, not a murderer, and then you meet in real life and something that’s a dealbreaker for either one of you was overlooked.
Because if you finished that sentence, it would say “because your boyfriend application is at the bottom of a large stack, and you should be lucky to ever lay your eyes upon me you disgusting pig”
The ladies that write this are the ones you want to avoid at all costs.
Similarly to the lady that says “you don’t have to wear a condom.” If you hear that you should leave asap and never return or wear 2 condoms.
I never put anything like that on my dating profiles, but I can sympathize with people who do. I was frustrated many times because men didn’t read the basics of my profile or lied on theirs. Things like not wanting children, smoking and drinking, religion, type of relationship they’re looking for, and other deal-breakers.
I agree it does sound off-putting and rude, but I understand.
It's totally understandable given the average experience of a person, let alone a woman person, on dating apps. It's wild out there.
However I do agree that it comes off as defensive, bitter, and unappealing. It gives me the impression (right or wrong) that she has unresolved baggage from past interactions that she will heap onto me. It gives me the idea that she is already predisposed to making negative judgments about any potential mate, and that she might make the process of getting to know each other not a mutually enjoyable undertaking, but an uphill battle until I "prove" my "worthiness".
Most emotionally stable(ish) people aren't interested in jumping through hoops. They want genuine connection that is open, honest, and as unburdened as possible by past bullshit that has nothing to do with them. They don't want to be greeted with cynicism and paranoia.
When I was single, negative statements like this on a woman's profile were an immediate red flag for me.
Again, I don't think the women are unjustified at all in wanting to head off the bullshit from time-wasters (and worse). But I also don't think that a dating profile is the place to bare your teeth, either.
There will always be time-wasters and dickheads. Trying to filter them out before you even have to interact with them, by effectively making your profile seem less friendly, more guarded, and more negative, is self-defeating, IMO.
This applies to people of all genders. I've seen male profiles that look negative and defensive, too.
I imagine most people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, find that sort of thing to be an immediate turnoff. It's adversarial and signals all the wrong things.
My experience on one lady who had that in the description said she doesn't want to waste much time chatting online but rather meet in person to know faster if man is good or not. Online and real life can be like Jekyll and Hyde.
Yeah, there's no point in writing that because people who waste your time won't read it, but men DO fucking waste your time just liking every woman without looking even if they hate your nationality, your weight, your looks, whatever.
I had one guy ask me 4 times what I was doing for life, another one we chatted for a bit and he said I'm nice and he wishes me to find what I'm looking for but he's just here for hookups when my profile said I'm not.
I take it to mean “I play games; I just don’t like it when others do it”. It’s an immediate swipe left/“x”, or whatever the app’s “no, thanks” mechanic is.
Can confirm that gays do this way more than women do.
If you don't agree to meet them the same day, they insult and then block you. Which is fine by me. Bullet dodged like Neo.
I had always assumed when I was a teen that gay men were a bit more understanding of one another given the prejudice that is faced in many places, but damn, some of the craziest dating stuff I hear about is from gay men
Any insight as to why?
Maybe it's a response to guys who "swipe right" on every profile, even if they're not really interested. Shotgun approach.
As the recipient of that, "I guess you'll do" is kind of a waste of everyone's time.
I'm sure it's an entitled thing for some people too, though.
Although phrasing from the negative perspective is never attractive, there are two sides of the coin at play here. Firstly, men could be more honest about their intentions. Secondly, women could exercise stronger boundaries. The phrases “no drama” or “don’t take life too seriously” are equivalents often seen on male profiles
Women have been conditioned to think they're the prize. That's why they think starting what should be an equal conversation as a business negotiation in which they hold the offer is OK.
Well, you see there is a huge percentage of guys who pretend to be interested in dating in order to hookup. They're dishonest about their intentions and it wastes time and energy on both sides.
Thing is that those kinda men were going to swipe right regardless of what your bio says. They arent going to care about your feelings. When I see a "dont waste my time" I think she is still too bitter and hurt to be in a relationship. It's as if she is judging me for what other me do.
OP, you're thinking too much into this. All they mean is that they're looking for something more serious than just like chatting and then you ghost them, or you guys meet up and fuck and then you never text her again, etc.
Think of this from a woman's perspective.... ask any woman you know who's used dating apps. You might be sitting here getting a couple of matches a day or whatever (its been a while so I don't know what's normal) , she's getting like 5 times that many, and a lot of them are just dudes looking to get laid
When I used dating apps I meant that if the guy didn't really want to meet but just wanted to text for months on end, they shouldn't bother talking to me. If they were the type to often not show up for the first date, they shouldn't bother, either.
I mean, I never put that but I definitely put that I was looking for a relationship and not just a hook up. Worked fine for me 🤷♀️
If someone was looking to just hook up, I wasn't the right person and they'd just be wasting their time on me as much as I would on them anyway.
Oh because they know their standards are way higher than they ought to be given what they have to offer, so they only go after people who are out of their league (read: will fuck them maybe twice and then disappear)
When I was on dating apps and talked to girls with this in their profile, they would ask for money. The "don't waste my time" is tied to "time is money." Me "wasting her time" was me asking real and genuine questions to get flat and disingenuous answers.
I understand the statement but I wouldn’t put it out there on a profile. It just makes you sound bitter and it’s of putting. At the same time, the reason some do is because in all likelihood someone has in fact wasted their time. Like for example my ex, who knew I was pressed for time and that my window for children is closing. Nonetheless he up and left me and married someone else. See, I sound like a bitter bitch. Because well I am, but I don’t want to project that..so no I’d never include it.
I don’t get it either. It’s like when selling things on online marketplaces saying “no time wasters”. If someone is the type of person that they were going to waste your time then seeing ‘no time wasters’ written isn’t going to stop them. They don’t see or comprehend or care that other people’s time is valuable too. Same with dating apps. If anything, seeing that on a dating app is more likely to make some a-holes take it as a challenge to see how long they can string the person along for before they dip out
Don't waste my time I've seen straight women & men use as well as lesbians. Just means be honest about what you are looking for and don't play games with me. Usually means they are looking for something serious and it's a waste of time when someone pretends they are as well, only for them to try to sleep with you right away and then ghost you or tell you off after they give up on trying. Honestly some people will still try to play games with you after you tell them this but I would hope that some people looking for something casual would see it and look elsewhere for someone looking for the same thing as them.
I was with someone for four years who ended up breaking up with me by saying "I don't think I was every really in love with you". That was a waste of time. Don't be that asshole. Be as honest as you can every step of the way.
I'm a guy in a new relationship, I just got off the apps.
It's not just guys who are clumsy on their profile. Women have dipshit profiles too. If you list a bunch of dislikes about men and not one personality trait, swipe.
If the vast majority of, up to and including your main, profile pictures are group photos, swipe. Even if you're great looking.
If you're a single mother (which is normal, I'm 30, they pop up now) but your job/career is stay-at-home-mom, Jesus Christ lmfao. You need a working partner to call yourself that, otherwise you're on welfare.
Most dating apps are not used for hooking up. Many people like myself are looking for LT relationships.
It is not a gender thing but a preference. But keep in mind many straight women want to have children and time is even more precious because there is biological limits to when you can have kids. Many women i know can not afford to waste years of their time hooking up.
I hate when it feels like after a while the person is into you and then they send a pic of their dick. No. I will be happy to receive these AFTER I meet it in person and I love the person attached, definitely waste of time.
Dude, it's just a matter of time before you accept that dating apps are not where you're going to meet a quality woman.
Women who say they don't like drama are the ones who cause drama.
Women who say they don't want to waste time mean that they want you to waste your time proving yourself to them while they sit in judgment of you.
Do yourself a favor and join some clubs, make friends, go out for drinks after, and after about a month, you'll have a girlfriend who looks like her photos.
To weed themselves out. That's not the motive of course, but should be the effect.
I'm not on any apps, but why let this bother you? If a person is leading with passive aggressiveness or negativity they are doing you a favor by giving you a glimpse of their real personality. You know from jump they're going to be a difficult, bitter person. You should be thankful they did that so you didn't waste time with any conversations, or even worse, a date.
My profile says “swipe left if you have or want kids”. You know how many men have straight up lied to me? One guy decided to introduce me to his child six months in. “Well I don’t have sole custody so it’s different”. No, it’s not!
This is an example of wasting my damn time.
In a fb group recently a guy said he’d been dating his dream girl for a month and then realized she has a tattoo on her back & moaned about her “wasting his time”. He then admitted he never asked if she had tattoos or said to her that they were a deal breaker for him.
Wasting her time.
It’s not in my profile, but I have considered adding it.
It's about setting clear expectations and avoiding unnecessary emotional investment. Dating can be time-consuming, and many women want to ensure they're interacting with people who are genuinely interested and serious about forming a meaningful connection
I suspect they dated guys like me who used to have multiple girlfriends at a time and just kept a roster with no actual intentions of making any of them an honest woman. But that was before these apps existed so it was harder to find woman but it was a lot easier to keep them from finding out about each other, now guys would have the opposite problem so not sure how often it happens. With the economy the way it I suspect guys have to do this. I was broke with one talent, I had to milk it.
Because they don't know how bad putting this in their profile makes them look. You look like a spoiled and trashy as fuck when you put shit like this in your profile.
Also, because they imagine they are much more valuable than they really are. Dating apps and social media have really warped most women's sense of how attractive they are. They all think they are perfect 10s, even when they are a 3.
Those women think that because most guys want to fuck them that most guys would want to date them. Men will gladly fuck down but they don't commit down. Just because a couple of guys who were 10s fucked you does not mean you are "on their level". You were just the best option they had that night. Just because 1000 guys want to fuck you does not mean they want any other part of you. They don't want you at all. They want to use your body to masturbate with but they don't want you around when they are finished using your body.
You'd be the same way about sex if you had the 20X your testosterone levels that men average. Sex feels urgent and desperate to men. Every time you are dealing with one, you are dealing with an addict who hasn't had his fix in days.
They are a bad judge of character so they have to put that line up otherwise they will get there time wasted by guys who lie to them and only want fwb stuff.
It means: "I have slept around with many chads already and had my fun. Now I am running out of time, just want someone to wife me up quickly and not ask any questions."
Tip #1: Dating apps are designed not to work. Tinder does not make money if you leave tinder. It is in their financial interest to keep you single so you stay on their app. They also don't actually make it easier to find someone who is good for you. One of the most important things that creates a strong relationship is a shared emotional experience (good or bad), and dating apps have no way of calculating that. They will give you matches, but nothing beyond that. Normally, a person should only have to go on 10-20 dates before finding a long term partner. Dating apps have made it so you need to go through dozens at least. I would go to social clubs and events in your local area to find someone. Less competition, less OF bots, and a high likelihood of a shared emotional experience.
I would assume they mean, don’t lie and just tell me what I want to hear. For example, I met a guy online dating that traveled most of the week for work and was really only around on weekends but I really liked him so we texted daily and he agreed with everything I said and it seemed we had a lot in common so we hung out almost every night he was in town and ended up sleeping together a few times. Then he says we were never dating and he never wanted a relationship, but I still have texts where he said he wasn’t just looking to hook up and he wanted more. We spent 4 nights a week together for 4 months and I feel like it was all a waste of my time, because he lied.
Basically in my case I've had guys lead me on for long periods of time because they didn't know how to just say that they weren't feeling the vibe and such. People are legitimately scared of rejecting others and it says a lot about their communication skills. Yeah and those other shitty people who are there to play games too.
I don't have it on my own profile, but I can understand why others do.
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I suppose they mean that they want someone who’s serious and doesent just want to hook up
The guys who are just looking to hook up don't care what the profile says
It will do the opposite actually. Decent guys get turned off by obnoxious sounding profiles.
Truth. If people put out a negative statement when they could have made their first impression a positive one where they also say what they are wanting and not what they are not wanting they would be more likely to achieve it. It's all about what vibes well.
It's not so much that it's a negative statement to me, it's the way it's phrased. Putting stuff you aren't looking for saves everyone a lot of heartache in my opinion, but you have to be tactful about it. If this hypothetical profile said "I'm not looking for anything short term or casual" that would be fine. I don't know exactly how to describe it, entitled, outright mean, or what. "Don't waste my time" just comes off extremely poorly to me.
Yeah, that's basically what I mean. It's negative because that's the energy behind it. I agree that there's nothing wrong with saying what you want. There's a nicer way to put it, but hey at least it makes it easy to swipe them away when they say something off putting.
I picture a certain “sour puss” look on the face of a person saying “don’t waste my time”.
I agree
I agree 100% say what you want, but don't be an ass about it. Another example I've been seeing recently is *PLEASE BE FULLY DIVORCED* girl don't immediately put your trauma and bad experiences out there. Have some boundaries. Also "be interesting and be able to hold a conversation." To me, that sounds like you're not interesting and you want me to entertain you. While I agree with both of those statements, when you put it on a dating profile it makes you seem jaded and obnoxious.
What about “fluent in sarcasm” 😅 🤣
I got into a whole thing with a poster in thread on the Tinder sub because I said that I will just automatically skip over any profile that lists a whole bunch of stuff someone *doesn’t* want. It basically makes me assume these are traits exes had, and that the profile owner is still bitter about them. You have someone’s attention for a very very short time and you’re going to give me a list of *DIS*likes? That doesn’t make you sound fun to hang out with.
Yeah, they probably have some unresolved issues left from previous partners. It doesn't resonate with me because I look at each new potential partner as a complete new person to explore. I don't think anyone wants someone "wasting their time" purposefully, or maliciously, but they can just say, "looking for someone to connect with and for a deeper relationship for the long term." It would probably work better. I haven't online dated in years anyway. It takes way too much time to find a match and it's much more difficult than IRL. But I'm not dating anyway because I have unresolved issues that I wouldn't want to burden someone else with. Of course if I was going to find a partner I'd hope that we could work together through anything, but if you can't put your best foot forwards and are really not in a good place I would think it would be a good idea to be less focused on dating in general. "Don't waste my time" can be felt by anyone. Everyone responds differently to everything, but we all have time. Hopefully in a relationship it would be seen as "our" time anyways. It almost has a knee jerk reaction to me that is like, "Okay, I won't waste your time and I'll save mine. Thank you."
when you do state that, they don’t listen and bother you anyway.
It's not even that, it's just a psychology of dating thing. Someone puts "don't waste my time" - they probably take forever to reply. Same for "you gotta have good banter" - this person will be absolutely terrible at holding a conversation. "Don't have time for drama" - this person will be the most drama you've ever encountered, ever. It's baffling but interesting
They're likely projecting their own insecurities onto you. So many broken people anymore. The dating market is just a cess pit.
See also - "Don't be boring."
For sure about the drama one. If they’re female ‘no drama’ means “let me be free to do whatever I want whenever I want but I expect you do drop everything whenever I want you for something”. If they’re male ‘no drama’ means “I will be flaky and unreliable and treat you like shit most of the time but I still expect you to worship the ground I walk on and never call me out on bad behaviour”
Every fucking time. It’s projection
Absolutely. “Don’t waste my time”, cool thanks for saving me time. I’m gonna swipe left
Exactly
Back when I used dating apps and was just looking for hookups I would always swipe right on the "just looking for friends". I don't know if they hooked up with their other friends but we sure did.
Neither do the women with that on their profile in my past experience lol
And writing this instead of something that could be interpreted otherwise would safe even more time…
It’s to weed out the: “…actually, I don’t have time for a relationship” “actually, I’m not emotionally available” “actually, work is too busy right now” “actually, I can’t give you the attention and affection you deserve” and the other million iterations of this that conveniently happen after they’ve led you to believe the opposite, and of course, after you’ve already had sex.
My dude: any woman who says "don't waste my time" Is wearing a giant target that tells men who are interested in sex "hey lie to me for as long as possible so we can have sex" 😂
Then why don't just say it?
In my experience the ones saying "don't waste my time" are the ones who make people waste their time.
Seems like it
They're the ones who don't look like their picture and come with hidden surprises they don't tell you about until you've already wasted their time
Yeah, I always figured that goes without saying. Obviously nobody wants to waste time lol.
It's like profiles saying "I like having fun" 💀 I just... that's the best you can do? 😭
Exactly. Like wow that tells me so much about you. Lol
On the other side, everyone is lying so...
Or they just have an NPC bio. "I like traveling, tacos, dogs, and drinking. I'm so fucking unique."
Yeah I see lots of women complain about men's profiles. And sure their complaints are valid. But it's always couched in this implication that there's something distinct to men that makes their profiles low effort, cliche, bland, lazy. Trust me, as a straight man, women's profiles are *not* even *one iota* better. Oh you like traveling? Wow. Oh you also know the best spot for tacos and espresso martinis. Incredible. Are you all in a club? You'll know you found the one when your dog likes me? Please it's a dog, dogs basically like everyone. The best way to ask you out is to just ask? That's if anything is written at all. Plenty of bumble profiles are *entirely blank*. Why? Probably because they can get away with it. The main difference here is that I don't complain about it because I know profiles are nothing. They're like 500 characters max. How much am I really going to learn about you? No matter what you put on there we need to go on a date. 90%+ of the work on anyone's profile is being done by the pictures. Are you attracted or not? Both men and women understand this, men are just more honest about it.
Or literally just two pictures on their profile. And one of the two is a picture of some random flowers for god knows why.
Love to laugh - continues to weird me out.
Don't waste your time, or time will waste you -Muse, Knights of Sidonia
Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my 'ed -blink 182, I miss you
You’d be surprised. SCammers do. I get guys trying to pick me up on posts. I love your comments. They are so insightful. I just know we could be good friends if you would just friend me. Me: Thank you for your compliments, but I do not friend people I do not know. Him: oh, but you can friend me. We would become great friends because of yada yada yada…. Welcome to my world. And yes, I don’t have to answer these, but apps on a dating site I pay for…
Very bad idea. For the manipulators and liars who just want a one time hookup, it will literally do nothing to deter them. If anything, it might raise a fun challenge. For the good guys, they didn’t need a warning to begin with and you will only come across bitter and jaded. So basically all you are doing is decreasing the number of good guys from your pool.
Yup
I’m a man. When I see don’t waste my time, I automatically assume she’s angry or unpleasant to be around. I could definitely be wrong. But why waste the 140 characters she has in a bio to just put that. It’s not a good first impression.
Yeah because it’s rude and abrasive. If you started up a conversation with someone in real life and that was their first response you’d think you’d think they were rude af. It’s rude; abrasive; dismissive and you’ve already quasi categorized all possible suiters as time wasters. Why would anyone bother engaging unless they were desperate?
These always strike me as the "You need to pay for my babysitter" type of women.
Is this really a thing? lmao
Yes
Yes. Absolutely yes. I’ve paid for 3 babysitters never gone well. All 3 mom just wanted a break
that's 3 times too much
I fucked all 3. I don’t regret it. If I wasn’t married I do it again. I think I offered the 3rd time.
“My time is precious”
"And we hates sneaky little hobbitses!"
"Give it to us rrrraw, and wrrrrrriggling"
"Nice smeagol spends all morning finding rabbits, and they say we *sneak*."
Gonna do my golem impression on voice for my hinge profile… will report back 🫡
tbh, these lines are just gonna draw me in.
Don't waste my time = my time is more valuable than yours = I'm already asserting myself above you.
Agree. I've also seen way worse in that category. Things like "if you're not serious, please fuck off" or "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ONS!!!". I mean, I am considering a serious relationship, and not looking for one-night stands either, but if such an aggressive tone is the first impression you want to give to a potential future partner, I'm afraid I'm not really tempted to try.
So I've definitely added the "not interested in ONS" bit because it's fucking infuriating to be so up front about seeking serious and long-term, only to go on dates with guys trying to grope me under the table or lunging in to kiss me while I'm actively speaking or forcing kisses on me, etc. Like what the fuck? I finally asked one guy why he'd think I was open to sex on the first date given I'd been very clearly not open to it at all times, and he said it was because most women say that and still put out. It's frustrating and such a waste of time and of course people are going to try to make it clear in their profiles that they aren't interested. Dating via dating sites just sucks.
I mean, there's nothing wrong for me with women stating that on their profile. What matters to me is the way it is written, the tone (if that makes sense for written language). When I read that written in all-caps with three exclamation marks, I take it as gratuitous aggression. It's as if we just met for the first time and she would be already shouting at me.
If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't get my best...
I dumped a “friend” of 40 years a couple of years ago because I decided her “best” was not that great and certainly not worth her crazy-ass “worst.” She has literally posted that meme on FB many times over the years, so she is aware she’s a drama queen.
Why would someone accept you being angry and unpleasant?
Yes - or people that bring up "drama". Drama always finds those people for a reason, whether they say they like it or not. Major turn-off.
it's as bad as "my kids are my priority." like no crap but if you post it on your profile that means "ill use you for your wallet or when it's convenient but you're not going to be a priority for me. We KNOW kids are and should be a priority, but anyone who says it out loud doesn't actually are to date, they just want that free meal.
That would be off-putting, but at the same time I respect the fact that people who are dating kids are disclosing it. Unfortunately some people on dating apps won't tell you they have kids until a few dates in. It's a good disclosure for people who don't want to have kids at all or don't plan on being a step parent.
>That would be off-putting, but at the same time I respect the fact that **people who are dating kids** are disclosing it. That's a very inconvenient typo lol
That or they do want to date, but you won't be happy long term. Plenty of parents treat their partners/the stepparents like trash because the "kids come first" and if/when the partner has any feelings or opinions, the kids are weaponized to shut them up. So, besides avoiding being a meal ticket, it also means you're likely dealing with a guilty parent who will always place you last for petty shit. Kids come first, yes, but not every time and not always. A routine soccer practice is not more important than a surgery, or anniversary, etc.
Yeah and these kinds of women are frustrated that they keep getting the same types of men and then blame all men for being horrible because they match with the kind of dude who doesn't read profiles, just wants to hook up even if they have to lie about it and will literally cheat because they are sociopaths. Work on your profile and put some effort into it so that good people want to actually talk to you. Otherwise, you're going to get trash people. You're just filtering yourself out from anyone worthwhile that is taking care to look at your profile and think about what kind of person you are, seeing the low effort/shit attitude, and then swiping left on you.
Exactly
Its a stupid thing to say for either gender . It’s passive aggressive and victimy . Not attractive
Ah the universal phrase for “I have a habit of picking guys who waste my time and carry the trauma that comes with it”
My favorite is I will fall for you if you’re emotionally unavailable. I get trying to be funny, but it comes across as I have a lot of baggage
"... but would rather project it back onto all men than take accountability for my decisions."
And then...they proceed to waste your time anyway. If u say hello, they 'bite' back, lol. Seriously speaking, there's too many people wasting each other's time anyway, playing games and all. I don't get it either, those who are serious may see this and just swipe away, those who want a challenge or pickup, just swipe into it. Doesn't really change the outcome as intended, truthfully speaking.
Lady here. IDK, I never have and I think that’s stupid. That’s like going shopping and being mad at all the shoes I tried on and didn’t like because “they wasted my time”
They want to make sure they receive messages from the sleaziest of sleaze.
Shhhhh. Let them continue self-filtering from the match pool.
It’s an ultimatum before the relationship even started, let them drawn in their delusion. 🤷♂️
I prefer my steak drawn in butter actually
I was thinking lobster but butter does make everything better.
I ain't even know you could cook steak in butter
Internet dating today is the worst. The absolute worst. Especially for men. I don’t know how it’s still a thing.
Because of the disappearance of 3rd spaces mostly. It's pretty hard to meet someone organically though a shared interest compared to pre covid times.
I think people who have this in their bio are people who have had a lot of guys come at them, masking their intentions for example some guys will lie to girls and tell them that they're looking for a relationship in their bio, and then explain that they only want hook ups.
The whole comment section proves that dating via apps is aweful
For the ladies writing in the comments why it's supposed to be a good thing to write, let me make a comparison: "Don't waste my time"=="don't be a gold digger" The reaction to the first sentence is the same to the second
100% this I understand trying to set clear expectations to weed out what you don't want, but this does NOT work All it reads as, is bait for dudes who *will* waste your time because they see it as a challenge now, and off-putting for the dudes who wouldn't waste your time because it reads like you're already assuming the worst in them. There is absolutely no world in which saying "don't waste my time" actually works at stopping guys from wasting your time.
When I read “Don’t waste my time” I never ever message to say hello. So as to why they do it , I have no idea , but it’s a clear message to me to avoid at all cost
What that usually means is, be up front with your intentions. Don't say that you want a relationship when you just want sex. Don't waste a woman's time by doing that.
Whoa. What!? Expecting a man to be direct and to know what he wants!? Jesus lady, lower your standards.
🤭
As a warning. Heed or ignore this warning. The choice is yours.
It's easy (both as a man and as a woman) to carry on with conversation and planning dates and what not even if you aren't very interested because it is much harder to just be upfront and tell them that you don't really like them. I think this is what is being referred to with that saying. No one wants to go on successive dates or being led on only to be suddenly ghosted. A stretch maybe but I read it more as "talk if you are actually interested in meeting and doing stuff in real life and also have the balls and decency to let me know if you don't like me, instead of leading me on for days "
This and other massively pretentious phrases are immediately off-putting. "I am X, so if you don't like it, move on!" "Don't waste my time, and I won't waste yours!" "Know how to hold a conversation!" I have to tiptoe around and not be too bold, not too passive, not too outdoorsy, not too nerdy, etc. just to get no likes anyway and ghosted without reply more often than not when a match does occur. It just chafes me when someone feels like such a gift to mankind that they make demands or imply insulting things about the reader in their bios, so I write them off immediately, because if someone in real life acted like that, I'd avoid the drama.
"Swipe left if-" "Okay"
Princess type women, conditioned to think they're a catch, mane prize, jewel of the kingdom. Avoid at all cost, pay attention to sane, well adjusted women.
They want to let everyone know that she, in fact, is not worth the time.
It gives off vibes of someone who is bitter and angry. Losers aren't going to be warded off by the message, and winners will be repelled by the negative energy. Instead, a person (male or female) who has high standards can figure out relatively quickly, which matches are time wasters and cut them off accordingly.
Kinda like this All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings Watch it count down to the end of the day The clock ticks life away It's so unreal Didn't look out below Watch the time go right out the window Tryin' to hold on, did-didn't even know I wasted it all just to watch you go
inn the ennnnnnnnnd
I tried so hard
If they're looking to date for marriage or whatever, wasting their time would mean a guy looking for short-term messaging them. Or a guy who doesn't believe in marriage messaging them. Or a guy who wants kids when the woman is child free etc.
I don’t say that on my profile, but I do understand why some ladies might. Like mine clearly says I’m not into casual hookups (nothing wrong with those who are!) or want children (I can’t unfortunately and it’s always awkward to have to bring that up if he didn’t read or notice). Sometimes matches just swipe on looks alone, and it’s not like I’m even close to a 10, I’m just a normal looking chick, and don’t bother to read my profile. Literally I went on a date with a guy who hated dogs. I have two. I volunteer weekly at a shelter. He just never read that part. I don’t date smokers, not a fan of cigarette smoke or smell. Another date lit up as we were walking to coffee and offered me one. It sucks as a girl if you are chatting with a guy for days who seems cool, not a murderer, and then you meet in real life and something that’s a dealbreaker for either one of you was overlooked.
Because if you finished that sentence, it would say “because your boyfriend application is at the bottom of a large stack, and you should be lucky to ever lay your eyes upon me you disgusting pig”
Yes, men do behave differently. Including this in your bio makes you seem like a waste of our time. . So please include it, it benefits us all.
Clearly this is the attempt to win a power struggle before it begins. The preemptive strike.
It's code for "don't talk to me unless you're going to commit right away."
Not so much commit, more like submit.
The ladies that write this are the ones you want to avoid at all costs. Similarly to the lady that says “you don’t have to wear a condom.” If you hear that you should leave asap and never return or wear 2 condoms.
don't wear 2 condoms!! it's actually worse protection because the friction between rubber makes it more likely to tear 😭 lol
I never put anything like that on my dating profiles, but I can sympathize with people who do. I was frustrated many times because men didn’t read the basics of my profile or lied on theirs. Things like not wanting children, smoking and drinking, religion, type of relationship they’re looking for, and other deal-breakers. I agree it does sound off-putting and rude, but I understand.
It's reverse psychology. They do actually want their time wasted, but they're shy about just asking.
When I hear someone say this, I assume they are bitter, cynical and self-absorbed.
It's totally understandable given the average experience of a person, let alone a woman person, on dating apps. It's wild out there. However I do agree that it comes off as defensive, bitter, and unappealing. It gives me the impression (right or wrong) that she has unresolved baggage from past interactions that she will heap onto me. It gives me the idea that she is already predisposed to making negative judgments about any potential mate, and that she might make the process of getting to know each other not a mutually enjoyable undertaking, but an uphill battle until I "prove" my "worthiness". Most emotionally stable(ish) people aren't interested in jumping through hoops. They want genuine connection that is open, honest, and as unburdened as possible by past bullshit that has nothing to do with them. They don't want to be greeted with cynicism and paranoia. When I was single, negative statements like this on a woman's profile were an immediate red flag for me. Again, I don't think the women are unjustified at all in wanting to head off the bullshit from time-wasters (and worse). But I also don't think that a dating profile is the place to bare your teeth, either. There will always be time-wasters and dickheads. Trying to filter them out before you even have to interact with them, by effectively making your profile seem less friendly, more guarded, and more negative, is self-defeating, IMO. This applies to people of all genders. I've seen male profiles that look negative and defensive, too. I imagine most people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, find that sort of thing to be an immediate turnoff. It's adversarial and signals all the wrong things.
My experience on one lady who had that in the description said she doesn't want to waste much time chatting online but rather meet in person to know faster if man is good or not. Online and real life can be like Jekyll and Hyde.
Yeah, there's no point in writing that because people who waste your time won't read it, but men DO fucking waste your time just liking every woman without looking even if they hate your nationality, your weight, your looks, whatever. I had one guy ask me 4 times what I was doing for life, another one we chatted for a bit and he said I'm nice and he wishes me to find what I'm looking for but he's just here for hookups when my profile said I'm not.
If someone has that on their profile it 100% means they are dramatic and about to waste your time
I take it to mean “I play games; I just don’t like it when others do it”. It’s an immediate swipe left/“x”, or whatever the app’s “no, thanks” mechanic is.
guys will say they want a relationship when what they really want is sex. a relationship minded person would consider that to be a waste of time.
Can confirm that gays do this way more than women do. If you don't agree to meet them the same day, they insult and then block you. Which is fine by me. Bullet dodged like Neo.
I had always assumed when I was a teen that gay men were a bit more understanding of one another given the prejudice that is faced in many places, but damn, some of the craziest dating stuff I hear about is from gay men Any insight as to why?
Nope, sorry 😔
Maybe it's a response to guys who "swipe right" on every profile, even if they're not really interested. Shotgun approach. As the recipient of that, "I guess you'll do" is kind of a waste of everyone's time. I'm sure it's an entitled thing for some people too, though.
I see men saying this too
Although phrasing from the negative perspective is never attractive, there are two sides of the coin at play here. Firstly, men could be more honest about their intentions. Secondly, women could exercise stronger boundaries. The phrases “no drama” or “don’t take life too seriously” are equivalents often seen on male profiles
Women have been conditioned to think they're the prize. That's why they think starting what should be an equal conversation as a business negotiation in which they hold the offer is OK.
Well, you see there is a huge percentage of guys who pretend to be interested in dating in order to hookup. They're dishonest about their intentions and it wastes time and energy on both sides.
Because even if i put “looking for long term commitment” there are always men who swipe right even if they only want to hookup.
Thing is that those kinda men were going to swipe right regardless of what your bio says. They arent going to care about your feelings. When I see a "dont waste my time" I think she is still too bitter and hurt to be in a relationship. It's as if she is judging me for what other me do.
Yeah i quickly noticed how they would swipe right still. I deleted dating apps. Absolute waste of time for me.
There are men who literally swipe in their pocket without looking. They “like” every profile which gives them a better chance of matching.
OP, you're thinking too much into this. All they mean is that they're looking for something more serious than just like chatting and then you ghost them, or you guys meet up and fuck and then you never text her again, etc. Think of this from a woman's perspective.... ask any woman you know who's used dating apps. You might be sitting here getting a couple of matches a day or whatever (its been a while so I don't know what's normal) , she's getting like 5 times that many, and a lot of them are just dudes looking to get laid
Hi
Hello
bb?
Hi plz.
U sngle?
Rply plz
Ahahahahaha I wouldn't know, except for the fact that I put "no kids" in my bio as well.
When I used dating apps I meant that if the guy didn't really want to meet but just wanted to text for months on end, they shouldn't bother talking to me. If they were the type to often not show up for the first date, they shouldn't bother, either.
Lazy writing.
I mean, I never put that but I definitely put that I was looking for a relationship and not just a hook up. Worked fine for me 🤷♀️ If someone was looking to just hook up, I wasn't the right person and they'd just be wasting their time on me as much as I would on them anyway.
The people who do this are way too bitter to be dating. Beats the hell out of my what they do it. I’ve seen men do it too.
They do , Stupid asses ( some of them )
Clearly they mean they just want sex for 5 minutes and then onto the next guy?
I imagine it's how you don't eant spam emails or calls from things you aren't interested in.
They mean stuff like don’t be 5-1 when their cutoff says 6-1 and you lied.
So they can dunk, screenshot and share in the group chat homie. It's all for the group chat, they live for the group chat.
Men’s profiles often have this line too. Frequently followed by “scammers leave me alone”.
Straight men 100% say this as well.. I think you should consider this a particular personality trait rather than a gendered trait
I always find it aggressive and it's an automatic left swipe. I guess it attracts players who are up for the challenge.
It could be useful a red flag that they are entitled and also have too high standards
I assume it’s like men saying “not interested in penpals.” Also I never put anything negative in my dating profile. I think that’s a waste of space.
because they're bitches. But at least they're advertising it, so they're easier to steer clear of.
Any woman who says that I don't waste my time on.
It could also be a sincere request having had people waste their time
My guess is. "Do what I want to do or don't bother." Taking advantage of the males desperation.
Oh because they know their standards are way higher than they ought to be given what they have to offer, so they only go after people who are out of their league (read: will fuck them maybe twice and then disappear)
Instant swipe left. Same goes with “no time wasters”, “I want someone who is a Man and knows what they want”, “Dog Mumma”,
No games basically.
When I was on dating apps and talked to girls with this in their profile, they would ask for money. The "don't waste my time" is tied to "time is money." Me "wasting her time" was me asking real and genuine questions to get flat and disingenuous answers.
I understand the statement but I wouldn’t put it out there on a profile. It just makes you sound bitter and it’s of putting. At the same time, the reason some do is because in all likelihood someone has in fact wasted their time. Like for example my ex, who knew I was pressed for time and that my window for children is closing. Nonetheless he up and left me and married someone else. See, I sound like a bitter bitch. Because well I am, but I don’t want to project that..so no I’d never include it.
I don’t get it either. It’s like when selling things on online marketplaces saying “no time wasters”. If someone is the type of person that they were going to waste your time then seeing ‘no time wasters’ written isn’t going to stop them. They don’t see or comprehend or care that other people’s time is valuable too. Same with dating apps. If anything, seeing that on a dating app is more likely to make some a-holes take it as a challenge to see how long they can string the person along for before they dip out
Men without money, height, status?
Because so many men want to send you a pic of their willy and screw you like an unpaid prosti.
Don't waste my time I've seen straight women & men use as well as lesbians. Just means be honest about what you are looking for and don't play games with me. Usually means they are looking for something serious and it's a waste of time when someone pretends they are as well, only for them to try to sleep with you right away and then ghost you or tell you off after they give up on trying. Honestly some people will still try to play games with you after you tell them this but I would hope that some people looking for something casual would see it and look elsewhere for someone looking for the same thing as them.
Coz they want us to take them strait to bed.
Oh those dating apps....thank fucking Christ I will never be on one of those things again!!
I was with someone for four years who ended up breaking up with me by saying "I don't think I was every really in love with you". That was a waste of time. Don't be that asshole. Be as honest as you can every step of the way.
fuck games
I'm a guy in a new relationship, I just got off the apps. It's not just guys who are clumsy on their profile. Women have dipshit profiles too. If you list a bunch of dislikes about men and not one personality trait, swipe. If the vast majority of, up to and including your main, profile pictures are group photos, swipe. Even if you're great looking. If you're a single mother (which is normal, I'm 30, they pop up now) but your job/career is stay-at-home-mom, Jesus Christ lmfao. You need a working partner to call yourself that, otherwise you're on welfare.
Most dating apps are not used for hooking up. Many people like myself are looking for LT relationships. It is not a gender thing but a preference. But keep in mind many straight women want to have children and time is even more precious because there is biological limits to when you can have kids. Many women i know can not afford to waste years of their time hooking up.
I hate when it feels like after a while the person is into you and then they send a pic of their dick. No. I will be happy to receive these AFTER I meet it in person and I love the person attached, definitely waste of time.
May be the need someone talkative 😂
Dude, it's just a matter of time before you accept that dating apps are not where you're going to meet a quality woman. Women who say they don't like drama are the ones who cause drama. Women who say they don't want to waste time mean that they want you to waste your time proving yourself to them while they sit in judgment of you. Do yourself a favor and join some clubs, make friends, go out for drinks after, and after about a month, you'll have a girlfriend who looks like her photos.
Attention, drama, egotism, narcissism
To weed themselves out. That's not the motive of course, but should be the effect. I'm not on any apps, but why let this bother you? If a person is leading with passive aggressiveness or negativity they are doing you a favor by giving you a glimpse of their real personality. You know from jump they're going to be a difficult, bitter person. You should be thankful they did that so you didn't waste time with any conversations, or even worse, a date.
My profile says “swipe left if you have or want kids”. You know how many men have straight up lied to me? One guy decided to introduce me to his child six months in. “Well I don’t have sole custody so it’s different”. No, it’s not! This is an example of wasting my damn time. In a fb group recently a guy said he’d been dating his dream girl for a month and then realized she has a tattoo on her back & moaned about her “wasting his time”. He then admitted he never asked if she had tattoos or said to her that they were a deal breaker for him. Wasting her time. It’s not in my profile, but I have considered adding it.
It's about setting clear expectations and avoiding unnecessary emotional investment. Dating can be time-consuming, and many women want to ensure they're interacting with people who are genuinely interested and serious about forming a meaningful connection
Because if you don't blatantly say "don't waste my time" people are going to do it. Duh! /s
Those are mostly desparate women who realized time is no longer in their side so they need to settle down as soon as possible
I suspect they dated guys like me who used to have multiple girlfriends at a time and just kept a roster with no actual intentions of making any of them an honest woman. But that was before these apps existed so it was harder to find woman but it was a lot easier to keep them from finding out about each other, now guys would have the opposite problem so not sure how often it happens. With the economy the way it I suspect guys have to do this. I was broke with one talent, I had to milk it.
They dont want their time wasted but will gladly waste a mans time.
Women who put that on their profile don't have any idea how the dating game works. If you keep attracting the wrong ppl, maybe it's u.
Because they don't know how bad putting this in their profile makes them look. You look like a spoiled and trashy as fuck when you put shit like this in your profile. Also, because they imagine they are much more valuable than they really are. Dating apps and social media have really warped most women's sense of how attractive they are. They all think they are perfect 10s, even when they are a 3. Those women think that because most guys want to fuck them that most guys would want to date them. Men will gladly fuck down but they don't commit down. Just because a couple of guys who were 10s fucked you does not mean you are "on their level". You were just the best option they had that night. Just because 1000 guys want to fuck you does not mean they want any other part of you. They don't want you at all. They want to use your body to masturbate with but they don't want you around when they are finished using your body. You'd be the same way about sex if you had the 20X your testosterone levels that men average. Sex feels urgent and desperate to men. Every time you are dealing with one, you are dealing with an addict who hasn't had his fix in days.
Usually that phrase is followed by ''If you dont have a yacht'' or ''If you are not over 6 ft.''
They are a bad judge of character so they have to put that line up otherwise they will get there time wasted by guys who lie to them and only want fwb stuff.
> Please don’t waste my time While playing every fucking mind game in the book themselves.
They just mean NEXT... dating apps sucks.
It means: "I have slept around with many chads already and had my fun. Now I am running out of time, just want someone to wife me up quickly and not ask any questions."
Men will text you “GM” every single morning with no conversation, just “WYD”, and think we’re in love 😭
Tip #1: Dating apps are designed not to work. Tinder does not make money if you leave tinder. It is in their financial interest to keep you single so you stay on their app. They also don't actually make it easier to find someone who is good for you. One of the most important things that creates a strong relationship is a shared emotional experience (good or bad), and dating apps have no way of calculating that. They will give you matches, but nothing beyond that. Normally, a person should only have to go on 10-20 dates before finding a long term partner. Dating apps have made it so you need to go through dozens at least. I would go to social clubs and events in your local area to find someone. Less competition, less OF bots, and a high likelihood of a shared emotional experience.
Bc their biological clock is ticking
They want to be sure you're committed to them before they decide if they are interested in you 🙄
I would assume they mean, don’t lie and just tell me what I want to hear. For example, I met a guy online dating that traveled most of the week for work and was really only around on weekends but I really liked him so we texted daily and he agreed with everything I said and it seemed we had a lot in common so we hung out almost every night he was in town and ended up sleeping together a few times. Then he says we were never dating and he never wanted a relationship, but I still have texts where he said he wasn’t just looking to hook up and he wanted more. We spent 4 nights a week together for 4 months and I feel like it was all a waste of my time, because he lied.
Means eggs drying up
Basically in my case I've had guys lead me on for long periods of time because they didn't know how to just say that they weren't feeling the vibe and such. People are legitimately scared of rejecting others and it says a lot about their communication skills. Yeah and those other shitty people who are there to play games too. I don't have it on my own profile, but I can understand why others do.