i would have much rather been born a cis female instead of having to get evaluations and pay shit tons of money for surgeries and hrt just to be able to be seen as a woman by everyone around me when i could be seen as one from birth. Even though i know the results will be rewarding, i'd much rather not have to pay extreme amounts of money to be who i am when i could just go through one puberty and have the results pretty much immediately.
This is tricky. On the one hand clearly there are aspects of my life that would have easier. On the other... I don't believe in a soul, I believe that what makes me me is more or less the sum of my experiences. So this would kind of be like asking me whether I wish I didn't exist so that a hypothetical cis woman could be, hopefully, happier.
And call me selfish, but I have a strong preference for my own survival.
EXACTLY. if i had been born cis, i wouldn’t be me, i’d be some other guy with the same parents. i also don’t know that i’d like press a button now to have a cis guy’s body and keep everything else the same either tho tbh… as much as i like the idea of having a penis, i also like what i was born with, and it’s kinda hard to say which i’d prefer.
also… i like being trans. it’s definitely not always easy, but overall i’m happy with who i am yknow?
(it’d definitely make dealing w communal changing rooms much easier tho lmao 😫)
This is such a great way of looking at it.
If I was cis, I absolutely think I'd have been a teen mum lol, and like, no thanks.
I also think going through what we go through gives us a lot of unique perspective that we wouldn't have if we were just cis from the beginning.
I guess that makes sense? I don't believe in souls either, but I just don't mind never existing to begin with. Likewise, I'm not scared of being dead.
I'm scared of dying because it would be really painful, and if I survive, could leave me with permanent damage, but overall? I avoid death because I'd rather stay alive, but the nonexistence of death isn't a problem, because I won't feel anything, including boredom.
All this is to say that I'd still rather retroactively be born female. Sure I'd cease to exist, but the person who wrote the beginning of that message already ceased to exist. Now I exist.
This.
I hate that trans people call their birth names a dead name.
I have so much of my life history as a man. A man who knew he was female, but a man or in the world to all but those closest to him.
I have to think long and hard about the button pushing questions.
Button a makes you a full cis woman. Yes I'll press it.
Button b has you taken back in time to be born as a cis woman. Wait a sec now... Give me a minute.
Very different questions and while I wish I had been born a girl, I lived so much life, who would I be? Would I like me?
that's how I see the issue with "dead names" as well.
Most people in the world don't choose their own name. I ran my choices by my mother first.
She said the one I liked most was lovely and she really liked it .
She named me my male name so if she liked one of the few I do then its a win win.
it was a name given to you by a loving parent (we hope) if they still love you. then they will understand
when people get mad about harmless deadnaming. (not malicous) it tends to bother me more.
theses people might have known you ONLY as that name. you cant expect 1 year 2 years or even 3 to replace 15-30 years of you under the previous name.
hear me out: I don't wanna be "me" I'd much rather have a version of myself that could mat or may not be "me" That's a cis girl than being me as an AMAB.
See, now this I can agree with. Nearly every comment in this thread, including the stickied mod post, involves blaming trans identities for problems caused by the world's hatred of trans people. It's just assimilationist self-loathing.
Yeah I've never understood why other people's hatred and derision should make me want to change who I am. Being trans is hard and scary, but I wouldn't give up a part of myself to live an easier life.
> It's just assimilationist self-loathing.
Not at all? Even if the world treated us better, medical/surgical intervention is still not ideal, having the childhood we wished we would've had, not stressing about passing, etc. All of these things still exist even in a world that is kinder to trans people.
Passing matters because of transphobia.
My childhood was hell because of transphobia.
Medical interventions are stunted because of transphobia.
Sucks that you can't see the forest for the trees.
Passing matters because trans people experience dysphoria, and not passing almost universally triggers dysphoria. I don't even know what you mean about medical interventions, literally anyone would choose to not need medical intervention than to need it, of course this is a downside of being trans. And as for childhood, while I'm sure in an ideal world some trans kids could have a mostly normal childhood, being trans will still have an effect, and many don't fully put the pieces together until they are a teenager/adult.
What part of any of that is transphobia? It's just the reality of being trans.
I do wish I had been born cis, yea I probably would have been a bit different of a person than I am today, but any number of "small" changes along the path of life could also alter how I turned out to one extent or another. It's not possible either way, this is all a "theoretical thought experiment", and in that context, I'd rather have lived a life with less suffering, and being who I want to be from the get go, than had to have gone through what I've gone through.
Would "cis me" be "current me"? Probably not, but I feel she would have had a happier life. "Current me" wouldn't exist in this scenario, so "cis me" wouldn't know if she was missing anything.
Now, would I wish to have a genie magically erase me and replace me? No, of course not, I like being alive... but if I were given the option to have chosen how I was born, I would have chosen to be cis. I just wouldn't like to retroactively erase my current life and cease being.
So yea... I'd have rather have been born cis, but I wouldn't take any kind of "magical" or "time travel" solution to make that a reality, unless it came with a caveat that I got to "remember" myself to at least some extent, because I wouldn't exchange being cis for being erased. I would however take a magical genie option where he made me cis **now**, and had people just "remember" me as cis, but most of my experiences would be as they were just "tweaked" to fit the new narrative (and I'd get to "know" both versions). I feel that would be the "best" magical solution if we're talking fantasy solutions lol.
I'm clearly in the minority but I'm still gonna say it: not at all. (FoR: I'm a binary trans girl.)
Of course, I understand and respect where you're coming from. But to me, being trans is not just about having to 'get to the other side' - it's a whole experience of the world in and of itself. It's really heartrendingly difficult sometimes - but I've been through so much worse (I had a horrendously abusive childhood), it doesn't phase me. I love getting to discover my new body. I love the feeling of leaving behind the old in order to get to the new. I love to get to fight to be who and what I am, I think it's a privilege. I love that I'm brave and strong enough to do this.
I don't know... Being trans is a big thing, that forces me to have a big life in a way, and even if it's a lot (and it is) I enjoy that. And I would hate not being a part of queer culture (I'm straight, so if I was cis, I wouldn't be). It's so much more aligned with who I am and my value. I also think I'm bringing something to the world by my being trans and I'm glad I can carry this responsibility.
All in all, I love my trans life, even when it's awfully difficult. I wouldn't trade it away. Never. It's mine and it has infinite value because of that.
No, I don't think I do. My transness is part of who I am, fundamentally, and it informs a lot of how I understand the world. If you changed me at that basic a level, I'm not sure I'd be recognisably "me" at all. Grapes but not wine, yknow - the weird, not-quite-either person that I am now is something I value because of the way I came to be.
I do wish the world was kinder to us, of course, and maybe that my parents had recognised what was going on when I was a teen and saved me from going through a masculinising puberty. But even if I think about just receiving HRT sooner, *that* person would be different, too. I'm not sure they'd be any better than this version.
What I know for sure, though, is that I can't actually change any of this stuff, so I'd best crack on with loving myself as I am.
Absolutely. If I could choose to not live in violence, wondering if the government is gonna strip me of more rights every week, not have to worry about how the fuck I'll ever afford surgery in an economy that's aggressively trying to break you, not having to worry if the date I'm inviting to my house will murder me? No I think that would be great
that’s the point. i don’t want to be me. i never have. not only have i lost out on 20 years of my life, being raised and treated like a boy instead of a girl. biochemical dysphoria made me absolutely miserable in my teenage years. i completely failed school and dropped out, have no friends and have never had a romantic partner. had no hopes and goals for my future. i didn’t care about anything. i had no interests and hobbies. i didn’t care for life. i’ve just sat there rotting away for 10 years playing the same games over and over again, achieving nothing. watching opportunities fly by. letting everyone down. severe anxiety and depression.
why wouldn’t i want to be someone else?
Yeah, kinda what the other commenter said. My life has been too much struggle. Every aspect of my life is in ruin and I feel like if I just had my gender going for me that would be a substantial change in my life as a whole. My social life, my dating life, family life, mental, physical struggles. On top of that I'm watching my government do its best to rid of us just because there's something in my life I have no control over and just want to change. That alone would be so, so much weight off my chest.
Of course there's a world where I ended up as some redneck fucking tradwife but I'd be brainwashed and living with some kind of purpose. Or I'd still be a political freak (that part I am proud of) who can actually do something with this passion but I'm a shutin because of all this fucking weight on my shoulders, weight I wouldn't have if I weren't born this way. I still would've gone through struggle, maybe worse, but being comfortable in my body, I could find friends. Find support. And that feels completely impossible currently.
If I could go back in time and change something about my body, heat intolerance and executive dysfunction would be my priorities to fix, not transness.
ur so real for this oml. i’m such a wimp with heat & executive dysfunction is the cause of like 99% of my biggest problems in life, so… yeah. being trans is nothing compared to the shit my adhd has put me thru
I mean, I assume most people know life would've been easier as cis. But in my case, I'm glad I'm trans. I have learnt so much stuff, not only about myself, thanks to being trans. I know what women have lived and how much they've fought for their rights because I have lived it myself, I know how difficult it is to be queer because I am queer myself. Sure, you can be told things, but you can't *experience* things and will never get a full understanding of said things unless you've gone through them.
I knoe some stuff I could be doing as a cis guy would be fucking gross, but I'd do it because I was born and raised that way. Meanwhile, being a trans guy has made me understand stuff that I couldn't even imagine if I was cis. I'm also a safe space for my friends, both men and women, because we both have similar experiences, since I've lived "both lives". It is quite... well, pleasing! :)
I’m quite happy with my body now and the one thing I wanna change isn’t something that I would have if I was born cis so no I don’t wish I was born cis
I've thought about this many times, but I've come to realize that I'm glad I'm not.
Yes, to put it simply, it's a pain to deal with the hormone injections, surgery prep, paperwork, and everything in between. But I am so incredibly thankful to have had my childhood as a girl and not a boy (I came out at 18) because I got the chance to have tough conversations about feminism and breaking gender roles long before I ever knew that was what I would be doing myself. I learned how to recognize and break out of the traditional gender expectations that were placed on me at a young age. Yes, it was incredibly difficult, but it brought out the best in me. I got to learn who I was and what was important to me as I became an adult.
And now that I'm transitioning, I get to do it all again. I've heard hindsight is 20/20 many times, and now I get to live it. I feel incredibly lucky to be in this position to have been granted such a nuanced perspective of the world because it made me a better person. Someone once commented on an Instagram post "God makes trans people for the same reason they make grapes and not wine, so that humans may share a hand in creation, and who am I to deny myself this diving transmutation?" It took some time for me to accept that I am transgender, but I am forever grateful for it.
Not really. Cis man? No, from my current vantage point, being a man just kinda sucks. Cis woman? Periods seem like a pain, to say nothing of all the societal/cultural problems they face. Though it doesn't sound bad overall. Cis... intersex? That seems to imply complications of its own when dealing with medical matters.
I'd have been fine with having been born a cis woman, but the appeal isn't so strong that I wish for it.
Yes I wish been born as a cisgender girl, today I feel like I waste my high school years. But I'm really proud of who I am today, and I'll certainly be different without all experience link with my transidentity (And for the high school years: Going for few high school like courses as a girl during my degree, give me strange euphoria and reduce a lot my regrets).
I wouldn’t be where I am today if I was. I wouldn’t have met my girlfriend, who is also trans, as a T4T relationship. So I’d be really really missing out there. In an ideal world, we could both go back and change our fetal development to be born as cis women, and still end up together. One can dream.
nah, i just wish i had accepting parents and money for top surgery. i really like who i am and wouldn’t want to change it even if i felt more comfortable in my body as a result
Of course I do, but at the same time, I'm not sure if I would've been the same person. It's sort of like asking, I dunno, "do you wish you had been born in a rich family"? And sure, yeah, life would be easier, but would you be you with different parents?
Yep. I absolutely do. As another one said, I don’t see any point in dwelling on it. Most other bad things in my life I can see the purpose of and appreciate who I am because of the adversity. Not trans stuff. It’s too big of a medical error that inflicts every area of my life from birth to death. Couple that with living in a society that demonizes it, yeah, no.
Yes and no.
I think if I’d been born cis I wouldn’t understand what trans people have to go thru and I don’t want to lose that.
I’d also not have had to go through that suffering and I could just be happy and be myself…
It sounds weird but if I actually have a choice yes. If i don’t then no. Because pondering upon things that I cannot have has been proven to be very harmful to my own sanity
It would definitely have been easier for me in a lot of ways to have been born a cis man, but I like my current life now enough that I probably wouldn't choose the alternative simply because I like being the me I currently am, and I think that changing this about me would make me an entirely different person.
Of course I would have loved to not have gender dysphoria and the rest of the pile that comes with being trans.
If I hadn't though I don't know if I would have reached the point to escape the religious cult I was born into if I had been born cis. I also would have never met my wife.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'd love to not have the issues associated with being Trans. I think there are major pillars of my life that I couldn't imagine being without, though, and they were only possible because I am trans.
I think I was maybe born to be trans regardless of what gender I was born as? Or at least bend the gender roles a little. I was meant to be a disappointment to my parents /hj
nah ~ self acceptance, free will, and fate are the inter-makings of this living.
Transitioning forced this confrontation, and it seems star bound & fated.
i’m grateful
(most days haha)
If I could flip my current self into the exact cis woman version of myself, then yes.
Other than that no. I don't think I want to do a reroll on my entire life
Here's where I'm at: I would rather be a trans girl than a cis guy. I would rather be a cis girl than a trans girl. However im not like absolutely losing my mind over not being a cis girl anymore. I would take it for sure but it's not that important
absolutely, life would be so much easier. but the fact is, i'm not, and i can't change that. so why spend time thinking about it? i'd rather think about the joys of being trans, the community and experiences it's given me, and embrace that it's something that makes me who i am. there's no point in dwelling on things you can't change, all it will do is make you sad.
I guess but like at this point I've been through so much I'd be a different person. At this point I more so just wish they'd invent lifetime uterus transplants already
I’m 100% certain that I’m trans. Zero doubt. If I was cis, I wouldn’t be me. It has been such an integral part of my life that it’s impossible to separate myself from it. I was born this way. I can remember confusion about my gender at 4-5 years old I didn’t know to call it that but it was real. That was 1967 btw. Long before many of you were born. Long before the internet and knowledge of gender was known. And I came up with it on my own. I don’t wish I was cis, I wish people would just leave us alone.
Honestly, probably not. There are bigger things that I would rather have changed about my body than the sex I was born with.
I consider (for me) being trans on a similar level of desirability as being nearsighted. Is it inconvenient sometimes? Yes. Does it downright suck sometimes? Sure. Is it expensive? Yep. But it's also a part of my being that I've accepted.
Being trans can be harder and more expensive, but on the other hand it's given me unique perspectives that I wouldn't give up for convenience.
That would be a fully different person than the person I am today, so no. I wouldn’t have met my partner, or countless friends, and I could be on a completely different life path. Everything would be different in the ripple effect
Nope, I really appreciate the community and perspective that comes from being queer in general. Being trans is an important part of what makes me the person I am now
Not for a second. I am very happy even with the struggles and the waiting and the hardships. Because I am doing this on purpose, actively choosing to live as myself and not as I was told to live. Little bit of an old punk rebellious streak, little bit of a latent witch talent, some whatever-it-takes old GI willingness to endure, and lots of “I am my own creator”. Actually it’s not in spite of the obstacles, but because of them.
Kiiiinda but not really?
If I was born the most ideal form of cis where I got to dress like Jenny Lewis as a teenager.
But honestly, missing a female childhood as I would have experienced it with my family is fine by me. I wish I transitioned like when I was 20.
Man, I wish I wasn’t born with severe ADHD, severe OCD, and severe Tourette Syndrome… if I could have one wish, I’d choose that… But I could never imagine that life…
I’ve decided it was better that I was born nonbinary than born intersex, because I’d probably be put on hormones, and then I might not grow tiddies very fast and might grow them back. Since my body naturally went through puberty and was able to get to the end, the process of getting surgery is much easier, because my breasts are definitely fully developed.
I’m special enough… I didn’t need to be nonbinary on top of all that, and have the lack of acceptance that I personally have…
I mean yeah. Every day. I try not to think about it cuz it's just more negativity in my life, but the fact of it is that my life would be 100% better if I was cis. My parents wouldn't have abused me (as much as least??), I at least would have had the childhood I so badly wanted. I was begging for a male childhood my whole life and they just abused me for it.
I wish I was cis all the time. Ironically it doesn't have to be male or female. I just wish my body was right the first time. If I was born male I just wish the body matched it. If I was female wish the body matched it. In this case I was born male but am female. So I don't personally identify as trans. I identify as female. Trans is just an unfortunate part of the experience. Part of why passing is such a big deal to me. I've worked hard to pass and do so well but I don't want want anyone to know I'm trans. Doesn't match what I feel.
That being said. I look to why I have these different feelings. Like a wish it a lot partly becuase I wished I had those experiences growing up. I can't have those but I can have my own now that sometimes replicate some of those experiences and so I do those and that gives me a lot of euphoria. So maybe look inward where the feelings come from and see how you can alleviate a part of it. May help anyways.
I don’t wish I was so much as I acknowledge that it would have been easier. I’m happy enough that I wouldn’t take a dice roll on turning out better as cis, I don’t want to risk losing what I have.
From a physical standpoint, absolutely. However, I've often pondered how my life and how I would be different as a person if I was born as a cis woman. My parents would have likely raised me a lot different than they did, and I'd probably be a very different person. I wouldn't have the same friends, the same interests. For that reason alone I personally prefer being trans, as it guaranteed that I ended up being the woman I am today.
I’m both intersex & trans, so yes I wish I was born as a cisgender male rather than an intersex one raised female. It took me 3 years to be approved for t therapy after ages of testing and consultation (plus I live in FL). I started on June 1st :)
Cis woman yes, cis man hell naw. I mean sure life could have been easier as a cis man, but that person would in no way be me.
Ideally, it would be super awesome if instead of being a chimera, I could have been one of two beautiful twins. It would be hilarious though, if I wish for that and it turns out I'm the amab one and still trans.
Womp womp
I've had dreams about being a cis man. These dreams are always good. I love the thought of being a cis man, but then again, I wouldn't be who I am today if I was cisgendered. My life could've been entirely different - no loving pets that I'd give the world for, no fun DnD groups, no difficult lessons about identity learned. I wouldn't be me. I think being who I am and knowing for certain that I'd be me is better than being cis. I like the progress I've made, and even though I'm literally going through the wringer, being trans has led to some of the most important realizations and transformations in my life. I wouldn't want to give those things up.
But do I have moments where I wish I was cis? Absolutely. I think most trans people do. But I also like to think we are perfect the way we are. :)
Cis of my chosen Gender? Yes. Absolutely. There are aspects of being born female thst I will never know, because I was amab, but if you ask me if I'd rather have been born as cismale? Nah. I can't say why I wouldn't want to be a cismale if I had the option, maybe I don't think there would be the same joy or happiness. I'm not sure
I do wish I was born a cis woman… but after reading some of the comments, I agree that there’s no way I’d be the same person. Ya know, yes we couldn’t possibly be the same coz as a trans woman my sensitivity and compassion for others is always on high alert. We are always being judged so I catch myself when I find myself doing that. I also see cis men’s bull coming from a mile away just to name a few. Yet still, if I had the opportunity I would probably give up the me that I know … damn! Smh
I think almost every trans person wishes that except non binary people they just vibing. For me I recognize that I can’t change it and instead view my experience of living as both a man and woman to give me a unique perspective on the world
would give anything to be born cis, absolutely. It's cheaper, way more simple, and I'd probably not have gone through so much weird mental turmoil my whole life. I seriously thought it was normal to not have any emotions accept apathy, anger, and the occasional dull bliss.
I'm non-binary so that's impossible. Sometimes I wish I was born the opposite sex but I still wouldn't be cis. If that made me cis, then that person wouldn't be me.
100% yes, but not cis male, cis female. I was born intersex (feminine physical traits including voice), assigned male at birth, and diagnosed with gender incongruence since childhood itself but had to wait till adulthood to properly transition. While I don't have experience living as a male, my life was far from how it would've been as a cis girl and so much time, money, and energy was spent on transition. I am also neurodivergent (high-functioning), and I wish I wasn't if I get a redo on top of being born a cis girl.
How I phrase it when I’ve gotten into frank discussions with friends who wanted to understand is: I’d have never chosen this. If I could be cisfemale or cismale, that would have been ideal, it would have been EASY. I wouldn’t wish the dysphoria on anyone, it’s awful.
But I’m not cis and I must be me. And it was quite literally live as who I really am or die, and I am so much happier as me even all the hardship all the way.
Sometimes a little, some things would be easier to have been born with my correctly gendered body, but I love being me and I wouldn't trade my life for it, where I am now is the happiest I've been in years just being me, and I wouldn't be me without my experiences.
The cis guys i know are mostly dickheads, so I wouldn't choose to be AMAB. If, *now*, I could have a male body and have others view/remember me as male, then... yeah, maybe. But I do also like *being* trans, in the sense of identifying as such and connecting with others over it. It's a big part of who I am. I'd still be gay/bi if I was cis, but. Idk. Wouldn't be the same.
I guess my "magic solution" would be a way to be trans, be recognised as trans only by people I want when I want them to, while also being seen unquestionably as a man by everyone and having what is essentially a cis man's body with top surgery scars. lol
I say no, but I'm not binary in my trans-ness. In imagining how I would feel if I'd been born AMAB instead of AFAB, there's just something in my brain that says I wouldn't be able to be gender-conforming were I starting with that, either. I appreciate what perspective and knowledge my birth "gender" has given me, even if it's not for me.
I'm kinda non-binary so regardless of what sex I was born, I think I'd have been trans. So weird question for me, I guess.
My life would be significantly easier if I'd just been a cis girl rather than a trans guy. But I think I'd be a pretty different person if I was. I think being trans is a beautiful thing, despite how hard it is. My answer would be a clear-cut no if transphobia wasn't so prevalent.
Yep. Did the things I had to go through build character? Yep. Would I give all that up to be blissfully unaware of what it's like to be male, never have needed to go through voice training, and not worry about getting rid of a penis? In a heartbeat.
Don't get me wrong, I certainly will make use of the things I got out of transition, like the neat party trick of dropping my voice WAY down, or of the character transitioning built, the lack of shame I had to develop... I'm glad to have these, but they're not worth everything I had to go through, and everything I will have to go through (GRS + recovery)
Yes. So badly. There are some things I will never have that cis men do. And being trans has literally caused me C-PTSD. Not transphobia, but the experience of spending 25+ years in a body I did not recognize as my own. I barely remember life before transition because I was dissociating SO terribly. I wasn't present. I was living in a cloud of fog. And since finding out what's wrong with me, I've had 2 surgeries and I'll need many more, I've been treated poorly, I've experienced financial difficulty, I've felt so depressed I had to call a hotline on multiple occasions, I've seen the world's response to people like me. I've had my rights threatened.
I'd love to be cis.
Yes, it would've been much easier. But it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be (ironically a quote from transphobic asshole JK Rowling)
To be honest, I think about it sometimes. And yes, it would've been easier for me. But then I would not be the person that I am now. And even if it sucks ass sometimes I wouldn't have had the same experiences and the same friends. I can find some comfort in this.
I believe you’re wrong and I believe you aren’t gendered until you have a sense of self. That’s my two cents.
Are you speaking for yourself when you said your last comment? Or are you speaking for me now?
I once read a statistic that 80-90% of trans people wish they were cis.
Though I'm glad I gave a better understanding of the cis male experience and kind of like having Extra Special Bonus Girl Parts™, gender dysphoria has caused me unimaginable suffering. How could I not wish I hadn't had that?
Who I am is not compatible with presenting male. I shouldn't have to fight this hard for what half the population is handed on a silver platter.
I think I'd rather be trans than cis. It's harder, but I'm happy being the queer monstergirl that I am. Embrace queer monstrosity, kiss hot girls in the dark
I think I was maybe born to be trans regardless of what gender I was born as? Or at least bend the gender roles a little. I was meant to be a disappointment to my parents /hj
yeah of course, what kinda question is that lmfao. its a shit diagnose to live with, dysphoria is awful and trying to get surgeries approved is draining.
I'm pretty sure that's going to be the most common wish for people transitioning.
Hell I feel weird simply because I don't think I would wish for that. I feel like everybody has their own unique feelings towards this kind of question though.
IF!, IF!, If I could be born again, I'd want to be born a Natal FEMALE!!! BUT!!
I'm doing my best to become a female, like it now says on my documents..
My honest response is no, I don’t have a spending money fetish so that I can just live a cis life and be okay. Admire people who embrace this part of themselves tho. Couldn’t be me.
Being trans is a condition you're stuck with from birth. With societal and self acceptance, our uniqueness can be seen as something beautiful - but unfortunately the today's society doesn't really reflect that. It's unfortunate because trans people have been historically respected, celebrated, and seen as a ***gift*** by many cultures prior to European colonization such in [Native American societies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-spirit), [Hawaiian society](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%81h%C5%AB), and [Indian society](https://rpl.hds.harvard.edu/religion-context/case-studies/gender/third-gender-and-hijras).
If you were born in those societies during those times, you would still have dysphoria about your body, but you would be viewed in a much better regard. Often times, being transgender was seen as a gift from a higher power. As such, your society might have viewed you as a wise guru, a powerful shaman, a compassionate healer, or a storyteller and caretaker of young children. Unfortunately the spread of European colonization and Christianity has erased a lot of this, and we're now stuck with a world trans people are mostly stigmatized .
i would have much rather been born a cis female instead of having to get evaluations and pay shit tons of money for surgeries and hrt just to be able to be seen as a woman by everyone around me when i could be seen as one from birth. Even though i know the results will be rewarding, i'd much rather not have to pay extreme amounts of money to be who i am when i could just go through one puberty and have the results pretty much immediately.
cis women also have uteri, unlike me, and i want to bear my own children.
This is tricky. On the one hand clearly there are aspects of my life that would have easier. On the other... I don't believe in a soul, I believe that what makes me me is more or less the sum of my experiences. So this would kind of be like asking me whether I wish I didn't exist so that a hypothetical cis woman could be, hopefully, happier. And call me selfish, but I have a strong preference for my own survival.
Totally! I'm the sum of my thoughts and experiences, I wouldn't be *me* if I were cis.
EXACTLY. if i had been born cis, i wouldn’t be me, i’d be some other guy with the same parents. i also don’t know that i’d like press a button now to have a cis guy’s body and keep everything else the same either tho tbh… as much as i like the idea of having a penis, i also like what i was born with, and it’s kinda hard to say which i’d prefer. also… i like being trans. it’s definitely not always easy, but overall i’m happy with who i am yknow? (it’d definitely make dealing w communal changing rooms much easier tho lmao 😫)
This is such a great way of looking at it. If I was cis, I absolutely think I'd have been a teen mum lol, and like, no thanks. I also think going through what we go through gives us a lot of unique perspective that we wouldn't have if we were just cis from the beginning.
I guess that makes sense? I don't believe in souls either, but I just don't mind never existing to begin with. Likewise, I'm not scared of being dead. I'm scared of dying because it would be really painful, and if I survive, could leave me with permanent damage, but overall? I avoid death because I'd rather stay alive, but the nonexistence of death isn't a problem, because I won't feel anything, including boredom. All this is to say that I'd still rather retroactively be born female. Sure I'd cease to exist, but the person who wrote the beginning of that message already ceased to exist. Now I exist.
This. I hate that trans people call their birth names a dead name. I have so much of my life history as a man. A man who knew he was female, but a man or in the world to all but those closest to him. I have to think long and hard about the button pushing questions. Button a makes you a full cis woman. Yes I'll press it. Button b has you taken back in time to be born as a cis woman. Wait a sec now... Give me a minute. Very different questions and while I wish I had been born a girl, I lived so much life, who would I be? Would I like me?
oh hell no. it’s a deadname. It’s a façade. It’s something that never existed and was never real
I am pressing button B all day long, it’s literally my dream come true.
that's how I see the issue with "dead names" as well. Most people in the world don't choose their own name. I ran my choices by my mother first. She said the one I liked most was lovely and she really liked it . She named me my male name so if she liked one of the few I do then its a win win. it was a name given to you by a loving parent (we hope) if they still love you. then they will understand when people get mad about harmless deadnaming. (not malicous) it tends to bother me more. theses people might have known you ONLY as that name. you cant expect 1 year 2 years or even 3 to replace 15-30 years of you under the previous name.
hear me out: I don't wanna be "me" I'd much rather have a version of myself that could mat or may not be "me" That's a cis girl than being me as an AMAB.
Yes, but I don’t see the point in dwelling on it
I was coming to say just this.
I'm fine with being trans and I don't have a desire to be cis, but I wish it was generally easier to be trans.
See, now this I can agree with. Nearly every comment in this thread, including the stickied mod post, involves blaming trans identities for problems caused by the world's hatred of trans people. It's just assimilationist self-loathing.
Yeah I've never understood why other people's hatred and derision should make me want to change who I am. Being trans is hard and scary, but I wouldn't give up a part of myself to live an easier life.
> It's just assimilationist self-loathing. Not at all? Even if the world treated us better, medical/surgical intervention is still not ideal, having the childhood we wished we would've had, not stressing about passing, etc. All of these things still exist even in a world that is kinder to trans people.
Passing matters because of transphobia. My childhood was hell because of transphobia. Medical interventions are stunted because of transphobia. Sucks that you can't see the forest for the trees.
Passing matters because trans people experience dysphoria, and not passing almost universally triggers dysphoria. I don't even know what you mean about medical interventions, literally anyone would choose to not need medical intervention than to need it, of course this is a downside of being trans. And as for childhood, while I'm sure in an ideal world some trans kids could have a mostly normal childhood, being trans will still have an effect, and many don't fully put the pieces together until they are a teenager/adult. What part of any of that is transphobia? It's just the reality of being trans.
I do wish I had been born cis, yea I probably would have been a bit different of a person than I am today, but any number of "small" changes along the path of life could also alter how I turned out to one extent or another. It's not possible either way, this is all a "theoretical thought experiment", and in that context, I'd rather have lived a life with less suffering, and being who I want to be from the get go, than had to have gone through what I've gone through. Would "cis me" be "current me"? Probably not, but I feel she would have had a happier life. "Current me" wouldn't exist in this scenario, so "cis me" wouldn't know if she was missing anything. Now, would I wish to have a genie magically erase me and replace me? No, of course not, I like being alive... but if I were given the option to have chosen how I was born, I would have chosen to be cis. I just wouldn't like to retroactively erase my current life and cease being. So yea... I'd have rather have been born cis, but I wouldn't take any kind of "magical" or "time travel" solution to make that a reality, unless it came with a caveat that I got to "remember" myself to at least some extent, because I wouldn't exchange being cis for being erased. I would however take a magical genie option where he made me cis **now**, and had people just "remember" me as cis, but most of my experiences would be as they were just "tweaked" to fit the new narrative (and I'd get to "know" both versions). I feel that would be the "best" magical solution if we're talking fantasy solutions lol.
I'm clearly in the minority but I'm still gonna say it: not at all. (FoR: I'm a binary trans girl.) Of course, I understand and respect where you're coming from. But to me, being trans is not just about having to 'get to the other side' - it's a whole experience of the world in and of itself. It's really heartrendingly difficult sometimes - but I've been through so much worse (I had a horrendously abusive childhood), it doesn't phase me. I love getting to discover my new body. I love the feeling of leaving behind the old in order to get to the new. I love to get to fight to be who and what I am, I think it's a privilege. I love that I'm brave and strong enough to do this. I don't know... Being trans is a big thing, that forces me to have a big life in a way, and even if it's a lot (and it is) I enjoy that. And I would hate not being a part of queer culture (I'm straight, so if I was cis, I wouldn't be). It's so much more aligned with who I am and my value. I also think I'm bringing something to the world by my being trans and I'm glad I can carry this responsibility. All in all, I love my trans life, even when it's awfully difficult. I wouldn't trade it away. Never. It's mine and it has infinite value because of that.
cis person of the same gender as me? yes cis person of the opposite gender as me? NO
I wish it every day tbh.
Oh god no. Granted, I’m nonbinary. So being born cis would completely erase a very fundamental part of who I am.
If I was a cis woman then yes. That's just me without the gender dysphoria. If I was a cis man, no. That feels like a different person.
No, I don't think I do. My transness is part of who I am, fundamentally, and it informs a lot of how I understand the world. If you changed me at that basic a level, I'm not sure I'd be recognisably "me" at all. Grapes but not wine, yknow - the weird, not-quite-either person that I am now is something I value because of the way I came to be. I do wish the world was kinder to us, of course, and maybe that my parents had recognised what was going on when I was a teen and saved me from going through a masculinising puberty. But even if I think about just receiving HRT sooner, *that* person would be different, too. I'm not sure they'd be any better than this version. What I know for sure, though, is that I can't actually change any of this stuff, so I'd best crack on with loving myself as I am.
It should would have made my life a hell of a lot easier. I'm not remotely a fan of the stress and pressure I've had to endure being trans.
Absolutely. If I could choose to not live in violence, wondering if the government is gonna strip me of more rights every week, not have to worry about how the fuck I'll ever afford surgery in an economy that's aggressively trying to break you, not having to worry if the date I'm inviting to my house will murder me? No I think that would be great
you wouldn't be you, though
that’s the point. i don’t want to be me. i never have. not only have i lost out on 20 years of my life, being raised and treated like a boy instead of a girl. biochemical dysphoria made me absolutely miserable in my teenage years. i completely failed school and dropped out, have no friends and have never had a romantic partner. had no hopes and goals for my future. i didn’t care about anything. i had no interests and hobbies. i didn’t care for life. i’ve just sat there rotting away for 10 years playing the same games over and over again, achieving nothing. watching opportunities fly by. letting everyone down. severe anxiety and depression. why wouldn’t i want to be someone else?
Yeah, kinda what the other commenter said. My life has been too much struggle. Every aspect of my life is in ruin and I feel like if I just had my gender going for me that would be a substantial change in my life as a whole. My social life, my dating life, family life, mental, physical struggles. On top of that I'm watching my government do its best to rid of us just because there's something in my life I have no control over and just want to change. That alone would be so, so much weight off my chest. Of course there's a world where I ended up as some redneck fucking tradwife but I'd be brainwashed and living with some kind of purpose. Or I'd still be a political freak (that part I am proud of) who can actually do something with this passion but I'm a shutin because of all this fucking weight on my shoulders, weight I wouldn't have if I weren't born this way. I still would've gone through struggle, maybe worse, but being comfortable in my body, I could find friends. Find support. And that feels completely impossible currently.
If I could go back in time and change something about my body, heat intolerance and executive dysfunction would be my priorities to fix, not transness.
ur so real for this oml. i’m such a wimp with heat & executive dysfunction is the cause of like 99% of my biggest problems in life, so… yeah. being trans is nothing compared to the shit my adhd has put me thru
executive dysfunction is a bitch
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As a nonbinary person, *there's no cis for me.* I would be trans anyway I was born.
i think it's kind of a selfish abuse of power to sticky such a personal take.
weird take
Speak for yourself.
Why is this stickied?? 🤢
Please unpin this. Don’t speak for “most trans people.”
I mean, I assume most people know life would've been easier as cis. But in my case, I'm glad I'm trans. I have learnt so much stuff, not only about myself, thanks to being trans. I know what women have lived and how much they've fought for their rights because I have lived it myself, I know how difficult it is to be queer because I am queer myself. Sure, you can be told things, but you can't *experience* things and will never get a full understanding of said things unless you've gone through them. I knoe some stuff I could be doing as a cis guy would be fucking gross, but I'd do it because I was born and raised that way. Meanwhile, being a trans guy has made me understand stuff that I couldn't even imagine if I was cis. I'm also a safe space for my friends, both men and women, because we both have similar experiences, since I've lived "both lives". It is quite... well, pleasing! :)
I’m quite happy with my body now and the one thing I wanna change isn’t something that I would have if I was born cis so no I don’t wish I was born cis
I've thought about this many times, but I've come to realize that I'm glad I'm not. Yes, to put it simply, it's a pain to deal with the hormone injections, surgery prep, paperwork, and everything in between. But I am so incredibly thankful to have had my childhood as a girl and not a boy (I came out at 18) because I got the chance to have tough conversations about feminism and breaking gender roles long before I ever knew that was what I would be doing myself. I learned how to recognize and break out of the traditional gender expectations that were placed on me at a young age. Yes, it was incredibly difficult, but it brought out the best in me. I got to learn who I was and what was important to me as I became an adult. And now that I'm transitioning, I get to do it all again. I've heard hindsight is 20/20 many times, and now I get to live it. I feel incredibly lucky to be in this position to have been granted such a nuanced perspective of the world because it made me a better person. Someone once commented on an Instagram post "God makes trans people for the same reason they make grapes and not wine, so that humans may share a hand in creation, and who am I to deny myself this diving transmutation?" It took some time for me to accept that I am transgender, but I am forever grateful for it.
No.
I don’t wish I was cis, I wish this world made being transgender easier
Not really. Cis man? No, from my current vantage point, being a man just kinda sucks. Cis woman? Periods seem like a pain, to say nothing of all the societal/cultural problems they face. Though it doesn't sound bad overall. Cis... intersex? That seems to imply complications of its own when dealing with medical matters. I'd have been fine with having been born a cis woman, but the appeal isn't so strong that I wish for it.
Yes I wish been born as a cisgender girl, today I feel like I waste my high school years. But I'm really proud of who I am today, and I'll certainly be different without all experience link with my transidentity (And for the high school years: Going for few high school like courses as a girl during my degree, give me strange euphoria and reduce a lot my regrets).
That would be the same as wishing not to be born. I am trans, if I were cis that person wouldn't be me!
I wouldn’t be where I am today if I was. I wouldn’t have met my girlfriend, who is also trans, as a T4T relationship. So I’d be really really missing out there. In an ideal world, we could both go back and change our fetal development to be born as cis women, and still end up together. One can dream.
nah, i just wish i had accepting parents and money for top surgery. i really like who i am and wouldn’t want to change it even if i felt more comfortable in my body as a result
I have a bigger desire to be a mother than a woman (weird to say) so yes, I do wish I was born cis female.
Of course I do, but at the same time, I'm not sure if I would've been the same person. It's sort of like asking, I dunno, "do you wish you had been born in a rich family"? And sure, yeah, life would be easier, but would you be you with different parents?
Yep. I absolutely do. As another one said, I don’t see any point in dwelling on it. Most other bad things in my life I can see the purpose of and appreciate who I am because of the adversity. Not trans stuff. It’s too big of a medical error that inflicts every area of my life from birth to death. Couple that with living in a society that demonizes it, yeah, no.
Yes because I wouldn't have to go through so much hassle to just be myself, but no because I like having a more nuanced view of gender and society
Yes and no. I think if I’d been born cis I wouldn’t understand what trans people have to go thru and I don’t want to lose that. I’d also not have had to go through that suffering and I could just be happy and be myself…
It sounds weird but if I actually have a choice yes. If i don’t then no. Because pondering upon things that I cannot have has been proven to be very harmful to my own sanity
It would definitely have been easier for me in a lot of ways to have been born a cis man, but I like my current life now enough that I probably wouldn't choose the alternative simply because I like being the me I currently am, and I think that changing this about me would make me an entirely different person.
Of course I would have loved to not have gender dysphoria and the rest of the pile that comes with being trans. If I hadn't though I don't know if I would have reached the point to escape the religious cult I was born into if I had been born cis. I also would have never met my wife. I guess what I'm saying is that I'd love to not have the issues associated with being Trans. I think there are major pillars of my life that I couldn't imagine being without, though, and they were only possible because I am trans.
Yep. But I wasn't. This will have to do, so I'll have a fucking great time since I cant be reborn
I think I was maybe born to be trans regardless of what gender I was born as? Or at least bend the gender roles a little. I was meant to be a disappointment to my parents /hj
nah ~ self acceptance, free will, and fate are the inter-makings of this living. Transitioning forced this confrontation, and it seems star bound & fated. i’m grateful (most days haha)
If I could flip my current self into the exact cis woman version of myself, then yes. Other than that no. I don't think I want to do a reroll on my entire life
Here's where I'm at: I would rather be a trans girl than a cis guy. I would rather be a cis girl than a trans girl. However im not like absolutely losing my mind over not being a cis girl anymore. I would take it for sure but it's not that important
No, I mean yeah it’d be nice but I am glad I was born female
absolutely, life would be so much easier. but the fact is, i'm not, and i can't change that. so why spend time thinking about it? i'd rather think about the joys of being trans, the community and experiences it's given me, and embrace that it's something that makes me who i am. there's no point in dwelling on things you can't change, all it will do is make you sad.
I guess but like at this point I've been through so much I'd be a different person. At this point I more so just wish they'd invent lifetime uterus transplants already
I’m 100% certain that I’m trans. Zero doubt. If I was cis, I wouldn’t be me. It has been such an integral part of my life that it’s impossible to separate myself from it. I was born this way. I can remember confusion about my gender at 4-5 years old I didn’t know to call it that but it was real. That was 1967 btw. Long before many of you were born. Long before the internet and knowledge of gender was known. And I came up with it on my own. I don’t wish I was cis, I wish people would just leave us alone.
As non-binary, being cisgender is kinda.... boring to me. I don't want to be cisgender At all.
Honestly, probably not. There are bigger things that I would rather have changed about my body than the sex I was born with. I consider (for me) being trans on a similar level of desirability as being nearsighted. Is it inconvenient sometimes? Yes. Does it downright suck sometimes? Sure. Is it expensive? Yep. But it's also a part of my being that I've accepted. Being trans can be harder and more expensive, but on the other hand it's given me unique perspectives that I wouldn't give up for convenience.
No, not really. I feel like I wouldn't nearly be the same person I am today without going through what I've had to go through.
That would be a fully different person than the person I am today, so no. I wouldn’t have met my partner, or countless friends, and I could be on a completely different life path. Everything would be different in the ripple effect
Nope, I really appreciate the community and perspective that comes from being queer in general. Being trans is an important part of what makes me the person I am now
Not for a second. I am very happy even with the struggles and the waiting and the hardships. Because I am doing this on purpose, actively choosing to live as myself and not as I was told to live. Little bit of an old punk rebellious streak, little bit of a latent witch talent, some whatever-it-takes old GI willingness to endure, and lots of “I am my own creator”. Actually it’s not in spite of the obstacles, but because of them.
Kiiiinda but not really? If I was born the most ideal form of cis where I got to dress like Jenny Lewis as a teenager. But honestly, missing a female childhood as I would have experienced it with my family is fine by me. I wish I transitioned like when I was 20.
Hell yeah Jenny Lewis
Man, I wish I wasn’t born with severe ADHD, severe OCD, and severe Tourette Syndrome… if I could have one wish, I’d choose that… But I could never imagine that life… I’ve decided it was better that I was born nonbinary than born intersex, because I’d probably be put on hormones, and then I might not grow tiddies very fast and might grow them back. Since my body naturally went through puberty and was able to get to the end, the process of getting surgery is much easier, because my breasts are definitely fully developed. I’m special enough… I didn’t need to be nonbinary on top of all that, and have the lack of acceptance that I personally have…
nah. i was meant to go from boy to woman.
also cis girl me would be a small town cheerleader and i dont wish that fate on anyone
yes, maybe in the next life :/
Yep..
Yes This is somewhat of a nightmarish situation where I feel like I lose in either way If I were cis I wouldn’t hafta worry about any of this
I mean yeah. Every day. I try not to think about it cuz it's just more negativity in my life, but the fact of it is that my life would be 100% better if I was cis. My parents wouldn't have abused me (as much as least??), I at least would have had the childhood I so badly wanted. I was begging for a male childhood my whole life and they just abused me for it.
Of course.
I wish I was cis all the time. Ironically it doesn't have to be male or female. I just wish my body was right the first time. If I was born male I just wish the body matched it. If I was female wish the body matched it. In this case I was born male but am female. So I don't personally identify as trans. I identify as female. Trans is just an unfortunate part of the experience. Part of why passing is such a big deal to me. I've worked hard to pass and do so well but I don't want want anyone to know I'm trans. Doesn't match what I feel. That being said. I look to why I have these different feelings. Like a wish it a lot partly becuase I wished I had those experiences growing up. I can't have those but I can have my own now that sometimes replicate some of those experiences and so I do those and that gives me a lot of euphoria. So maybe look inward where the feelings come from and see how you can alleviate a part of it. May help anyways.
I don't regret having any of my life experiences as a male... but yeah... I think I would have been happier had I been born a cis female.
110%. Would save me a lotta money and mental sanity
I don’t wish I was so much as I acknowledge that it would have been easier. I’m happy enough that I wouldn’t take a dice roll on turning out better as cis, I don’t want to risk losing what I have.
Depends. Cis woman? Hell yes, where do I sign? Cis man? Hell no, no ruttin way.
From a physical standpoint, absolutely. However, I've often pondered how my life and how I would be different as a person if I was born as a cis woman. My parents would have likely raised me a lot different than they did, and I'd probably be a very different person. I wouldn't have the same friends, the same interests. For that reason alone I personally prefer being trans, as it guaranteed that I ended up being the woman I am today.
I’m both intersex & trans, so yes I wish I was born as a cisgender male rather than an intersex one raised female. It took me 3 years to be approved for t therapy after ages of testing and consultation (plus I live in FL). I started on June 1st :)
Yeah, I wish I could've had a proper female childhood
Yes I wish I was born a male.
I wish i was never born in the first place.
real.
Yes, but I'm not and can't change it :(
I'd love to have been born a cis woman, yeah. A cis man... well I suppose I don't really know exactly how that would be lol
Cis woman yes, cis man hell naw. I mean sure life could have been easier as a cis man, but that person would in no way be me. Ideally, it would be super awesome if instead of being a chimera, I could have been one of two beautiful twins. It would be hilarious though, if I wish for that and it turns out I'm the amab one and still trans. Womp womp
I've had dreams about being a cis man. These dreams are always good. I love the thought of being a cis man, but then again, I wouldn't be who I am today if I was cisgendered. My life could've been entirely different - no loving pets that I'd give the world for, no fun DnD groups, no difficult lessons about identity learned. I wouldn't be me. I think being who I am and knowing for certain that I'd be me is better than being cis. I like the progress I've made, and even though I'm literally going through the wringer, being trans has led to some of the most important realizations and transformations in my life. I wouldn't want to give those things up. But do I have moments where I wish I was cis? Absolutely. I think most trans people do. But I also like to think we are perfect the way we are. :)
Cis of my chosen Gender? Yes. Absolutely. There are aspects of being born female thst I will never know, because I was amab, but if you ask me if I'd rather have been born as cismale? Nah. I can't say why I wouldn't want to be a cismale if I had the option, maybe I don't think there would be the same joy or happiness. I'm not sure
yes. its been a struggle
I would do anything to be a cis girl. ANYTHING
I've never once wanted to be cis, even during the worst of my attempts to suppress who I am. Being trans is a gift.
I love this life, and I'm grateful for what I have experienced, but holy &@%$ I'm trying to come back as cis next time
I do wish I was born a cis woman… but after reading some of the comments, I agree that there’s no way I’d be the same person. Ya know, yes we couldn’t possibly be the same coz as a trans woman my sensitivity and compassion for others is always on high alert. We are always being judged so I catch myself when I find myself doing that. I also see cis men’s bull coming from a mile away just to name a few. Yet still, if I had the opportunity I would probably give up the me that I know … damn! Smh
I would rather be a trans woman than acid man but i'd always rather be a cis woman.
Right now I wish a) I hadn’t been born at all b) I had been born MALE
Yes
Sometimes I do.
Do I wish I had been born a cis woman? At times, yeah. Do I wish I had been born a cis man? Absolutely not.
10000% I hate to say that but the anti trans rhetoric is so scary right now that I do wish I was cis.
I'm gonna say no because that hypothetical person isn't me, it's my hypothetical sister. Technically this is the same as not existing.
I'm nonbinary so being born cisgender isn't a thing 💀 I wish I were born of the opposite sex sometimes but I think my current sex isn't so bad either.
yes i wish i was born a cis woman
No. I like being agender. I would take a reroll on the sexes though.
No. I’m pretty sure I’d still be trans/queer no matter what body I was born in.
I wish I was born cisgender of any gender as a nb individual. Not that I’m self hating or anything, life would just be a lot cheaper.
Gods, most definitely.
yes definitely :( i wouldn't have transitioned and i would've felt "real" and had the anatomy i wanted innately from birth
I think almost every trans person wishes that except non binary people they just vibing. For me I recognize that I can’t change it and instead view my experience of living as both a man and woman to give me a unique perspective on the world
All the time. Life would be so much easier if I were cis
would give anything to be born cis, absolutely. It's cheaper, way more simple, and I'd probably not have gone through so much weird mental turmoil my whole life. I seriously thought it was normal to not have any emotions accept apathy, anger, and the occasional dull bliss.
I'm non-binary so that's impossible. Sometimes I wish I was born the opposite sex but I still wouldn't be cis. If that made me cis, then that person wouldn't be me.
100% yes, but not cis male, cis female. I was born intersex (feminine physical traits including voice), assigned male at birth, and diagnosed with gender incongruence since childhood itself but had to wait till adulthood to properly transition. While I don't have experience living as a male, my life was far from how it would've been as a cis girl and so much time, money, and energy was spent on transition. I am also neurodivergent (high-functioning), and I wish I wasn't if I get a redo on top of being born a cis girl.
How I phrase it when I’ve gotten into frank discussions with friends who wanted to understand is: I’d have never chosen this. If I could be cisfemale or cismale, that would have been ideal, it would have been EASY. I wouldn’t wish the dysphoria on anyone, it’s awful. But I’m not cis and I must be me. And it was quite literally live as who I really am or die, and I am so much happier as me even all the hardship all the way.
Yes, although I’m sure I wouldn’t have as much of an appreciation for it, I absolutely want to be cis without a doubt.
Sometimes a little, some things would be easier to have been born with my correctly gendered body, but I love being me and I wouldn't trade my life for it, where I am now is the happiest I've been in years just being me, and I wouldn't be me without my experiences.
The cis guys i know are mostly dickheads, so I wouldn't choose to be AMAB. If, *now*, I could have a male body and have others view/remember me as male, then... yeah, maybe. But I do also like *being* trans, in the sense of identifying as such and connecting with others over it. It's a big part of who I am. I'd still be gay/bi if I was cis, but. Idk. Wouldn't be the same. I guess my "magic solution" would be a way to be trans, be recognised as trans only by people I want when I want them to, while also being seen unquestionably as a man by everyone and having what is essentially a cis man's body with top surgery scars. lol
I say no, but I'm not binary in my trans-ness. In imagining how I would feel if I'd been born AMAB instead of AFAB, there's just something in my brain that says I wouldn't be able to be gender-conforming were I starting with that, either. I appreciate what perspective and knowledge my birth "gender" has given me, even if it's not for me.
I'm kinda non-binary so regardless of what sex I was born, I think I'd have been trans. So weird question for me, I guess. My life would be significantly easier if I'd just been a cis girl rather than a trans guy. But I think I'd be a pretty different person if I was. I think being trans is a beautiful thing, despite how hard it is. My answer would be a clear-cut no if transphobia wasn't so prevalent.
Yep. Did the things I had to go through build character? Yep. Would I give all that up to be blissfully unaware of what it's like to be male, never have needed to go through voice training, and not worry about getting rid of a penis? In a heartbeat. Don't get me wrong, I certainly will make use of the things I got out of transition, like the neat party trick of dropping my voice WAY down, or of the character transitioning built, the lack of shame I had to develop... I'm glad to have these, but they're not worth everything I had to go through, and everything I will have to go through (GRS + recovery)
I don't care about it anymore
Yes. So badly. There are some things I will never have that cis men do. And being trans has literally caused me C-PTSD. Not transphobia, but the experience of spending 25+ years in a body I did not recognize as my own. I barely remember life before transition because I was dissociating SO terribly. I wasn't present. I was living in a cloud of fog. And since finding out what's wrong with me, I've had 2 surgeries and I'll need many more, I've been treated poorly, I've experienced financial difficulty, I've felt so depressed I had to call a hotline on multiple occasions, I've seen the world's response to people like me. I've had my rights threatened. I'd love to be cis.
Sometimes no, mostly yes
Definitely would’ve preferred being born cis and had it been possible to reverse biology, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I've wished every second of my life that I were born a cis-female
Probably not, for red pill/blue pill/tree of life/tree of wisdom reasons.
Yes, it would've been much easier. But it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be (ironically a quote from transphobic asshole JK Rowling)
Cis female with the same mind as mine yes. cis female with a dif mind That I could not say.
Idk I don’t want to be a girl so I don’t want to be cis. I want to be a cis male
To be honest, I think about it sometimes. And yes, it would've been easier for me. But then I would not be the person that I am now. And even if it sucks ass sometimes I wouldn't have had the same experiences and the same friends. I can find some comfort in this.
No I don’t wish I was born cisgender. I am awesome. Everyone is born gender neutral and the rest is just drag, boo.
Speak for yourself.
No, I am speaking for myself (implied) and now also you, strangeUsury. I speak for us both.
Using the phrase "Everyone is..." is not speaking for yourself.
I believe you’re wrong and I believe you aren’t gendered until you have a sense of self. That’s my two cents. Are you speaking for yourself when you said your last comment? Or are you speaking for me now?
I dont think anybody wishes they were born trans
I once read a statistic that 80-90% of trans people wish they were cis. Though I'm glad I gave a better understanding of the cis male experience and kind of like having Extra Special Bonus Girl Parts™, gender dysphoria has caused me unimaginable suffering. How could I not wish I hadn't had that? Who I am is not compatible with presenting male. I shouldn't have to fight this hard for what half the population is handed on a silver platter.
I think I'd rather be trans than cis. It's harder, but I'm happy being the queer monstergirl that I am. Embrace queer monstrosity, kiss hot girls in the dark
Yes but if i were i wouldnt have a dick and that would suck
I think I was maybe born to be trans regardless of what gender I was born as? Or at least bend the gender roles a little. I was meant to be a disappointment to my parents /hj
yeah of course, what kinda question is that lmfao. its a shit diagnose to live with, dysphoria is awful and trying to get surgeries approved is draining.
I'm pretty sure that's going to be the most common wish for people transitioning. Hell I feel weird simply because I don't think I would wish for that. I feel like everybody has their own unique feelings towards this kind of question though.
As a trans person myself, I would give up anything to relive my life as a cis person
I’d love to have been born cis, though at the same time I think being trans has given me a lot of character development.😭
what development? we had a discussion where you refused to accept a basic concept or couldnt grasp it while continuing to fight for heightism.
Womp womp stop being obsessed.💀
Yes and I don’t view transitioning as a solution
IF!, IF!, If I could be born again, I'd want to be born a Natal FEMALE!!! BUT!! I'm doing my best to become a female, like it now says on my documents..
My honest response is no, I don’t have a spending money fetish so that I can just live a cis life and be okay. Admire people who embrace this part of themselves tho. Couldn’t be me.
Being trans is a condition you're stuck with from birth. With societal and self acceptance, our uniqueness can be seen as something beautiful - but unfortunately the today's society doesn't really reflect that. It's unfortunate because trans people have been historically respected, celebrated, and seen as a ***gift*** by many cultures prior to European colonization such in [Native American societies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-spirit), [Hawaiian society](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%81h%C5%AB), and [Indian society](https://rpl.hds.harvard.edu/religion-context/case-studies/gender/third-gender-and-hijras). If you were born in those societies during those times, you would still have dysphoria about your body, but you would be viewed in a much better regard. Often times, being transgender was seen as a gift from a higher power. As such, your society might have viewed you as a wise guru, a powerful shaman, a compassionate healer, or a storyteller and caretaker of young children. Unfortunately the spread of European colonization and Christianity has erased a lot of this, and we're now stuck with a world trans people are mostly stigmatized .