My usual is: Fuck! Jesus Fucking Christ Fuck Fuck Fuck! I got my foul mouth in the military, nearly 50 years ago. I successfully quelled it when my kids were young -
Same for me, that or when something surprisingly good happens I go with my favorite Helluva Boss quote: “Well, Christ on a stick! I guess there is a god!”
Edit: Also wanted to add, my go to “I’m very annoyed by this” phrase is “Oh, my Sweet Satan!” Got that one from a Gorrilaz short and I *fucking love it!*
When things are really bad or really disgust me I say “Jesus Fuck”. It’s satisfying to know that it would make the religious nuts who ruined my childhood shit a brick.
I also used to be a JFC regular, but I've recently trained myself to switch to 'Jesus Christmas', and honestly it has made my life immeasurably better 🤣 Especially when I catch myself saying it reflexively. Just great vibes, and always gets a chuckle from anyone that overhears :P
It's not even a conscious choice for me anymore. Completely automatic, and everytime I think "not even real", and then my next thought is, "then I guess there's no point in stopping it, right?"
Only after deconversion, I started to use phrases like this with Jesus Christ being my favorite curse.
Before that, saying all of that would be using the Lord's name in vain, whatever the heck that is supposed to actually mean.
From the FAQ:
>*How should atheists curse?
However they fucking want.
Expressing your surprise or frustration by saying "Oh my god!" isn't an affirmation that you believe there's an invisible man in the sky, any more than saying "Oh shit!" is an affirmation that you think there's literally a giant pile of feces in the room with you.
If you are a formerly religious person, and you are deliberately trying to distance yourself from your old speech patterns, you can get a lot of mileage out of simply pluralizing the word "gods". Appealing to Zeus and Odin won't be any more effective than appealing to Yahweh, but it will be a little bit cooler. Shouting the names of your personal heroes is also a funny option. Hail Sagan.*
I was tightening a bolt one time when my 18"long wrench slipped off the3" bolt head and whacked my thumb really hard. My response was "Oh...... rude words".
The world of ex-Christian’s is wild.
It’s so weird to come from a secular country (in practice - a kinda theocracy in theory) and reading about atheism from the perspective of an evangelical Christian one (in practice - a secular country in theory).
Remember: “fictional” gods are just as real as “real” gods. My favorite comes from FFXIV where there is a god of destruction by the name of Thal. I’m sure you can see where this is going. It is a common expression in the part of the world that worships him to exclaim “Thal’s Balls!” At things which are surprising, upsetting, or both.
Yep, when I was Christian I wasn’t even allowed to say “oh my god” because that was considered “taking the lords name in vain”. So it’s actually quite liberating to say whatever the fuck I want now.
Update: corrected “vein” to “vain”. For the number of times I’d been told to never take the lords name in vain, you’d think I’d know how to spell it…
I always wondered about that. God isn't a name, it's a job title. It's like saying president or manager. Weird. The first commandment even implies there are other gods, you just can't put them before *this* one.
That nonsense is why it always makes me lose respect for someone if they do the half-cursing. Be an adult and say what you fucking mean. If you don't want to curse, don't curse! Don't use baby talk stand-ins when there is no difference in intent.
son of a biscuit
I'll be gosh darned
You mother trucker
LMBO
I had a professor in a religious class who told us that “taking the lord’s name in vain” meant to break a vow that had been made to god (to swear to god), and not to use “god” as part of cursing.
So all those AHs who scold people for saying ”oh, my god” or whatever don’t know what they’re talking about.
It’s all just about control to them: you’re not allowed to say this, or that, or be mad, or have emotions.
It’s also a way of making themselves look pious. They feel very proud of themselves for saying “oh my goodness” instead of “oh my god”. They think that somehow makes themselves better than everyone else.
Truth. In my wife's home you have to say "Oh my Word". And instead of this damn thing. they say this dumb thing. Still makes me chuckle they think it's different.
Worked with a very religious but pleasant and funny young lady as photographers. Scared her right out of her socks once and was met with the yelled expletive, "JEEPERS!" and fully lost control of my knees laughing. You have not lived until someone JEEPERS you. :)
I regularly say Jesus christ and God damn it. My partners sister spent a day with us and apparently was offended by it but wouldn't just ask me to stop. Later in the evening she referred to somebody with a hard R then tried to say it was no different than me saying god damn it when we confronted her about it.
Lifetime atheist here. I am grateful to the christian culture for providing me with a curse vocabulary. This gives me something to say when I am hopping on one foot holding my knee which I accidentally bashed against a table.
Any cursing that is also blasphemous means we should be friends. Christian’s trash talk satan but he gave them free will. gOd does not want that for christains. 🐐❤️
I was taught that “oh my god”, “god dammit” etc were blasphemous or “taking the lord’s name in vain”. So they are now my favourite! “Jesus Fucking Christ” especially.
Some gods based words are not going away any time soon. Are you planning to stop saying the names of the days of the week? Are you planning to replace "good-bye" with something that does not mean "God be with ye"?
That said, you can replace "Oh my God!" with any curse word(s). Is "holy fuck" still too religious for you? You could also get cutesy "Oh my unicorn!" "Oh *your* God!" "Oh my gods!"
"For the love of God ..." I have never used this expression. How about "Please" or repetition for emphasis "Please please please will you ..."?
You didn't mention "God bless you" or "bless you" when someone sneezes. That one's easy to replace with gesundheit, a perfectly valid English word of Germanic origin (like house and welcome).
It doesn't matter. Just use them. If I say "Holy shitballs!" It doesn't mean I'm referring to balls of feces that have been blessed. Most of the time it's just an expression. Very few people mean it literally. Sometimes, it is more literal, I don't tell people to have a "Blessed Day", for instance. Religious people don't own the language, they don't own certain phrases. Actually it's kinda of fun sometimes to thumb your nose at them and use certain phases to spite them.
When I feel like blessing people after they sneeze I tend to say "May the 400 drunken rabbits god bless you". Best god name ever! For some reason I get strange looks, but not usually any comments about it.
"Unholy fucker of mothers" has become one of my favorites over the last few years, but I'm afraid that the ones mentioned by OP and others have become such a part of our lexicon as a people that it's just taken as it is.
A huge amount of the English language has been influenced directly by the bible.
To remove every religious influence from English is to speak a different language entirely.
I ate cereal this morning.
Saying that doesn't indicate that I believe in the goddess Ceres that the word is derived from.
Likewise, if I say "he panicked", I'm not invoking Pan.
"I'm thankful it's Thursday" is not a prayer to Thor, nor is Friday a declaration of my belief in Frigg.
We use lots of language that has its origins in the names of gods and goddesses. None of those words or phrases indicate belief in deities.
Funny!
Does anyone use "For the love of God" during sex? What, like "For the love of God will you please blow me?" I can barely even imagine that. I would certainly never say it.
Saying goodness or gosh or darn it, it’s the same thing as saying god or damn it, just a thinly obscured as if their god is a chat bot that can’t detect that as speaking the “lord’s [no]name” in vain.
I've had a religious person act all smug because I exclaimed "oh my god" around them saying that I clearly believed since I said that.
My response: guess you are Hindu then, I've heard you say "holy cow" plenty of times. Grow up
Don’t worry about this at all.
You don’t worry about referring to the days of the week by names referencing Norse gods. And christians don’t worry about referencing Norse gods.
Because these have just become part of the language.
It’s the same for cursing using religious words. They are just part of the language, it doesn’t matter why.
If you took this concern to the logical extreme, there are lots of common words you wouldn’t use because they originally had a religious root.
For example Goodbye = God be with ye.
And the number of phrases and idioms that are Bible references is huge.
Just ignore the roots and use them. They’re just part of the English language in the same way the Wednesday (Woden’s Day) is.
I dont want my mind to be so rigid that I can't allow myself certain thoughts or certain phrases. I'm not in a mental prison. Christianity is a mental prison. Dont let atheism be one.
OMG and all the others are standard idioms used by the masses. It doesn't mean we are acknowledging the existence of a deity. Similarly, when I say 'what the fuck' , nobody expects me to be viewing two people having sex at that moment. lol. It's just a phrase to denote a reaction.
For God's sake, dont worry about it. :)
I grew up Mormon and wasn't allowed to say "omg, jesus christ, oh god,etc" so you bet I'm saying all of those now! Jesus fucking christ is my go to curse now.
I have adapted some of my sayings to reflect my nonreligious nature. For example...
"For the love of all things unholy!", "Sweet Crispy Wallnuts!" and "thank the stars!"
But my favourite religiously inspired saying came from Dad. "Fuckin' Jesus christ almighty!" and I am not giving that one up.
I'm french and basically learned english by mimicking what I heard. So it's pretty weird because in french I never use religion-related sayings (or maybe in a sarcastic way, otherwise we have the good ole "putain") but I would in english. It's like it's become part of the language.
try changing "oh my god" into "fuck your god"...... LOL "Jesus fucking mary in the ass christ" is a good one too. I live in Vermont, I help my neighbors so they don't say anything when I work on cars and get wicked pissed at them. Rust sucks.
I continue to use Christian Colloquialisms until a specific Christian annoys me about it. Then I switch to my "Dark Prophet" phrases that are intended to be offensive and/or humorous.
Ex:
"Providence of the Abyss Favors You." Or some flavor of that.
"Darkness Provides."
"May the Pit favor you."
"Blessings of Chaos Upon You."
After watching the South Park atheism episodes, I almost exclusively say oh my science instead of oh my God and it always turns heads in the best way possible.
that's because it's language. religion has nothing to do with it. the default response to someone sneezing in English just is "bless you". that may have it's roots in religion but it's no more religious then the dutch "gezondheid" aka "good health".
in dutch a lot of swearwords are just the names of diseases. do you think there's anything medical do it when i say "wat een poken zooi" (translated: "what a fucking mess" or more literally: "what a pox mess")? of course not. and in the same way there's nothing religious about "oh my god". the clearest proof is that there would be no mention of god or anything religious adjacent if you spoke in a different language.
I’ve been an atheist and antitheist for about 15 years.
I say the following
Oh my god!
Oh my allah!
Jesus Fucking Christ!
Jesus!
Christ Almighty!
Fuckin’ Hell!
Holy Fuck!
Holy Shit!
Goddamn It!
Instead of saying “They are a match made in heaven”, I say, “They are a match made in Valhalla”.
It just comes more naturally than, say, shouting "GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!" or other such shenanigans.
Plus it *really* pisses off the strict fundamentalist types to lob a few God Dammitseses and a Jesus-Fucking-Christ in their general direction...
I’ve been trying to substitute FFS (or variations) with those religious-themed references. But atheist as I am, sometimes a “Jesus Fucking Christ on the cross!” just best expresses how I feel in the moment so I cut myself some slack.
Don't worry about it. They've become expressions in our language. It doesn't violate your atheism.
I will *NEVER* say "thank science" instead of "thank god."
I just use the terms. Occasionally I get called on it, then I just smile and tell them "I like blasphemy ". Conversation degrades rapidly after that, but it's fun.
There is a wonderful book, Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing by Melissa Mohr that deep dives in to how religion and cursing/swearing intersect. Really fascinating read.
I'm a recovering fundamentalist and I still sorta cringe when I hear my kids say "oh my god". I don't care much at all but it still gives me a uneasy feeling. Brainwashing is a hell of a drug.
I live right in the middle of the Bible Belt, so I tend to try to not use offensive phrases. Mostly because I don’t want a lecture and I don’t wanna end up going to HR. But when I’m alone or with someone that doesn’t care, goddamn or Jesus Christ is my go to.
The great thing about being a staunch atheist is that you don't have beliefs to violate. You are without belief. Saying "Jesus Christ!" or "OMG!" is like anyone else saying "Go fuck yourself"--for most that is literally impossible, but it's the sentiment that counts and is communicated.
My suggestion is not to bother with it. They're just turns of phrases that have become part of our culture/language. You may not *believe* in any of the religious stuff, but you also can't deny the impact religion has had on our culture and history. If you're trying to replace words/phrases like "oh my god" are you also going to stop saying words like "goodbye" that has its origins in the phrase "God be with you?" How about the word "template, " which is based on a word describing a small temple? What about the word "bulletin" whose original usage was to describe an announcement from the pope? Let's ignore Christianity. Are you going to start calling the planets different names? They are all named after Roman gods (except Uranus, which is Greek). There are countless other examples of many words and phrases having origins based on religions that I could also list.
In short, I think the idea of changing existing language to ignore/remove references to religion is both a waste of time and futile. I get the sentimentality of it since I once thought like that too, but I think it's very much a "new atheist" thing that you should try to grow out of. Instead, why don't you focus that energy on combating the actual harmful things that religion does, like genital mutilation, indoctrination, misogyny, abuse of power, etc.
I once read a good response to someone asking "why do athiests still say 'oh my god?'"
Because we say it when something is just completely unbelievable.
Stubbed my toe long ago and yelled out "Jesus Allah Budda!" And I kind of like the way it sounds. Plus, I'm being inclusive. So I got that going for me, which is nice 😉
We are not Christian (or anything else) but my adult daughter and I frequently say Thank you, Black Baby Jesus, somewhat because of the historical accuracy (Jesus was Black), but mostly because we think it is funny.
Another time, I was at a social function for work. I wasn't listening to the conversation until I heard someone say, Is God a woman? To which I promptly replied, Yes, and she's pissed. Again, no beliefs in a God of any gender - I said it to be funny, and everyone laughed.
The people that know me well know my personal beliefs. The rest I don't care what they think. And, I don't feel the need to broadcast my beliefs - to me, to do so is somewhat akin to wearing a fucking cross necklace.
I'm from Québec. Almost all our swear words are related to religion. Even as a staunch anticlerical atheist I'll never use other words, they're the only remnant of our catholic past I'm more than willing to keep alive. Historically, they are used as a deliberate blasphemy in defiance to religious authority [hostie d'crisse de tabarnak, hostie d'câlisse de viarge!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlIfTpJlleo)
Well, I, being a fiery one, often use expressions like e.g. "Damn, you devil", "Satan-fuckhead", etc., etc., but I don't feel that turns me into some kind of satanist. These expressions of "God" or "Satan" are empty when you don't believe in the imaginary figures they refer to ....
You aren't betraying your beliefs because we don't have beliefs and not believing in god means you can say whatever you like because you know it dosent reflect on the beliefs you don't actually have. Words and phrases are just that, words and phrases and can be used any way you like without having to adhere to any specific meanings or uses. Thinking their use is somehow cheating or hypocritical isn't rational because other than offending religious people it makes no difference in any way what words you use or how you use them
One of the many reasons ilike being an atheist that I get to say the lord's name in vain anytime I goddamn well please. They are the ones that don't get to do that.
You dont believe in a god so you dont have to worry about god striking you down, just relish the freedom that gives you, say whatever you want dont worry sbout it
try "goodness" instead. *Oh my goodness* is perfectly acceptable! *For the love of all that is good will you...* worx as well.
I've been known to exclaim "HOLY MONKEY!" to hilarious effect as well.
Beeing an atheist is not a believe.
Its the default you are born with. Other people have to gaslight you to believe in a god.
You can't betray your believes because not believing is not a believe. Say whatever you want.
You are free now bro.
i have no problem saying "oh, my god," when i see something *unbelievable.*
Seems appropriate even
Or take the Bender approach: “oh your god”
I came here looking for this.
"Oh gods" works too.
Ye gods and little fishes
Now we know how Moses and the Israelites came up with "Holy Cow!" Then again, maybe that was the Hindus.
Same
I don’t even think Jesus was real and “Jesus Fucking Christ” is inexplicably my go-to curse.
And the melodic: "Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ on a Cracker!"
Jesus H. Jumping Christ on a Pogo Stick. But mostly I say “jeebus.”
A stable saying in Ireland is "Christ on a bike".
That's my regular one too.
Catholic one,Jesus,Mary and Joseph. We would put JMJ on the top of our papers. It was a favorite of my Dad's.
“Christ on a popsicle stick” is my go to.
Jesus Christ on a motorbike!
Jeebus Crikey!
I love jeebus!
But does Jebus love you? And does he love you long tine?
I'm more "Christ Almighty on a stick!" No idea where from
I’m a theater kid so my fave is “Jesus Christ Superstar Original Broadway Cast Recording!”
I'm not a theater kid, but I can still hear in my head many songs from the 1970 album.
I would love this said to me. Instant friendship.
Christ on a bike!
Lol, yup!
I favour Jesus Fucking Christ as well. I have to be judicious in choosing where to blurt it out.
My usual is: Fuck! Jesus Fucking Christ Fuck Fuck Fuck! I got my foul mouth in the military, nearly 50 years ago. I successfully quelled it when my kids were young -
Jesus Fuck!
Whenever I see JFC I get a craving for fried chicken
Absolutely, I definitely reserve it for the most colorful of dismay.
Same for me, that or when something surprisingly good happens I go with my favorite Helluva Boss quote: “Well, Christ on a stick! I guess there is a god!” Edit: Also wanted to add, my go to “I’m very annoyed by this” phrase is “Oh, my Sweet Satan!” Got that one from a Gorrilaz short and I *fucking love it!*
Imagining “Oh, my Sweet Satan” said earnestly in a Southern accent strangely delights me.
"Sweet zombie Jesus" is one of my go-to's thanks to Futurama
I've used "Christ on a stick!" often. Also, "Jesus titty-fucking Christ!". I think that's from Team America.
I'm also prone to god fucking damnit.
I’ve shortened it to Jesus Fuck in my older age.
Likewise.
It's more efficient.
*Jesus titty fucking Christ
Jesus Buttfucking Christ. Which BTW I've officially taught to my phone, as of this message. Oops
When things are really bad or really disgust me I say “Jesus Fuck”. It’s satisfying to know that it would make the religious nuts who ruined my childhood shit a brick.
I also used to be a JFC regular, but I've recently trained myself to switch to 'Jesus Christmas', and honestly it has made my life immeasurably better 🤣 Especially when I catch myself saying it reflexively. Just great vibes, and always gets a chuckle from anyone that overhears :P
Same! Been saying it a lot lately listening to the news. I also say For Fucks Sakes...
I actually prefer the more old-school "Jesus H Christ", or depending on target audience "Jesus Tittyfucking Christ".
He died for our swear words! I, for one, am thankful for his gift. Jesus *Fucking* Christ, indeed! 😂
I tend to prepend that with a "mother fucking". One fucking is just not enough.
It's not even a conscious choice for me anymore. Completely automatic, and everytime I think "not even real", and then my next thought is, "then I guess there's no point in stopping it, right?"
Exactly the same, I have to catch myself even sometimes.
[удалено]
I say that and, "Jesus tits!" to irritate people. I also say, "oh my fucking god!" A lot too. It used to tick off the religious people around me.
When I'm in the right mood I say Jesus Hitler Christ. The reactions are so diverse
Jewish atheist, I say JFC. Also, slow cars on the highway are Creeping Jesus!
I say things like "Fuck me sideways"
Came to say the same, the words flow so nicely and it can be used in any situation.
Glad I'm not alone lol
I ask if he (Jesus Christ) be pleasuring himself to cheer my mom up when she says that. I mean think about it, it is self pleasing. lol.
Me also, love saying it.
Team America turned this into "Jesus Titty Fucking Christ" for me.
Only after deconversion, I started to use phrases like this with Jesus Christ being my favorite curse. Before that, saying all of that would be using the Lord's name in vain, whatever the heck that is supposed to actually mean.
From the FAQ: >*How should atheists curse? However they fucking want. Expressing your surprise or frustration by saying "Oh my god!" isn't an affirmation that you believe there's an invisible man in the sky, any more than saying "Oh shit!" is an affirmation that you think there's literally a giant pile of feces in the room with you. If you are a formerly religious person, and you are deliberately trying to distance yourself from your old speech patterns, you can get a lot of mileage out of simply pluralizing the word "gods". Appealing to Zeus and Odin won't be any more effective than appealing to Yahweh, but it will be a little bit cooler. Shouting the names of your personal heroes is also a funny option. Hail Sagan.*
*\*hammer hits thumb* # BY GROGNAR'S HAIRY TESTICLES Has a nice ring to it.
My sister and myself have a fun one. BY CONCHITAS BEARD !?!?
Vaul's almighty quads! (If you're a Mass Effect fan, you know.)
Refering to Conchita Wurst?
I was tightening a bolt one time when my 18"long wrench slipped off the3" bolt head and whacked my thumb really hard. My response was "Oh...... rude words".
By Grabnars hammer, by the Sons of Warvan…
I think I love you…
HEPHAISTOS! Actually feels good to say. But then everyone else says Gesundheit!
The world of ex-Christian’s is wild. It’s so weird to come from a secular country (in practice - a kinda theocracy in theory) and reading about atheism from the perspective of an evangelical Christian one (in practice - a secular country in theory).
Praise be for this advice. May the Lord open.
I would have said “however they god damn want”
Remember: “fictional” gods are just as real as “real” gods. My favorite comes from FFXIV where there is a god of destruction by the name of Thal. I’m sure you can see where this is going. It is a common expression in the part of the world that worships him to exclaim “Thal’s Balls!” At things which are surprising, upsetting, or both.
They are just common phrases (and, as a bonus, are considered 'blasphemous').
Yep, when I was Christian I wasn’t even allowed to say “oh my god” because that was considered “taking the lords name in vain”. So it’s actually quite liberating to say whatever the fuck I want now. Update: corrected “vein” to “vain”. For the number of times I’d been told to never take the lords name in vain, you’d think I’d know how to spell it…
I always wondered about that. God isn't a name, it's a job title. It's like saying president or manager. Weird. The first commandment even implies there are other gods, you just can't put them before *this* one.
Yeah, you gotta give respect if you're getting high on the lord's supply ("vein" instead of "vain"). <3
It's the other way around: "vain" not "vein" 😅, the first is being arrogant and the other is what blood flows through.
Yes! My mom always got on to me for saying “oh my god” AND even “oh my gosh” because obviously gosh is stand in for god. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
That nonsense is why it always makes me lose respect for someone if they do the half-cursing. Be an adult and say what you fucking mean. If you don't want to curse, don't curse! Don't use baby talk stand-ins when there is no difference in intent. son of a biscuit I'll be gosh darned You mother trucker LMBO
I had a professor in a religious class who told us that “taking the lord’s name in vain” meant to break a vow that had been made to god (to swear to god), and not to use “god” as part of cursing. So all those AHs who scold people for saying ”oh, my god” or whatever don’t know what they’re talking about.
It’s all just about control to them: you’re not allowed to say this, or that, or be mad, or have emotions. It’s also a way of making themselves look pious. They feel very proud of themselves for saying “oh my goodness” instead of “oh my god”. They think that somehow makes themselves better than everyone else.
Truth. In my wife's home you have to say "Oh my Word". And instead of this damn thing. they say this dumb thing. Still makes me chuckle they think it's different.
If someone tries to make me say “oh my word’ I’m defaulting to “fuck me” instead.
If it wasn't the in-laws that would be an option. But gotta maintain peace to an extent. and "oh my word" isn't the hill I'm dying on.
Worked with a very religious but pleasant and funny young lady as photographers. Scared her right out of her socks once and was met with the yelled expletive, "JEEPERS!" and fully lost control of my knees laughing. You have not lived until someone JEEPERS you. :)
I regularly say Jesus christ and God damn it. My partners sister spent a day with us and apparently was offended by it but wouldn't just ask me to stop. Later in the evening she referred to somebody with a hard R then tried to say it was no different than me saying god damn it when we confronted her about it.
Lifetime atheist here. I am grateful to the christian culture for providing me with a curse vocabulary. This gives me something to say when I am hopping on one foot holding my knee which I accidentally bashed against a table.
You're right, and I didn't realize it before, but the only good thing to come from religion is the curse words!
Watch Anchorman for some inspiration: "Great Odin's Raven!" "By the beard of Zeus!" Personally, I like Sweet Sassy Molassy!
Thor's balls! By Grapthar's hammer!
You shall be avenged!
I also like to call people dirty pirate hookers
Any cursing that is also blasphemous means we should be friends. Christian’s trash talk satan but he gave them free will. gOd does not want that for christains. 🐐❤️
I was taught that “oh my god”, “god dammit” etc were blasphemous or “taking the lord’s name in vain”. So they are now my favourite! “Jesus Fucking Christ” especially.
Problem is when I write it I tend to abbreviate JFC. Then I think Jesus Fried Chicken. Then I want chick fil a
Some gods based words are not going away any time soon. Are you planning to stop saying the names of the days of the week? Are you planning to replace "good-bye" with something that does not mean "God be with ye"? That said, you can replace "Oh my God!" with any curse word(s). Is "holy fuck" still too religious for you? You could also get cutesy "Oh my unicorn!" "Oh *your* God!" "Oh my gods!" "For the love of God ..." I have never used this expression. How about "Please" or repetition for emphasis "Please please please will you ..."? You didn't mention "God bless you" or "bless you" when someone sneezes. That one's easy to replace with gesundheit, a perfectly valid English word of Germanic origin (like house and welcome).
As a German who hadn't known that Gesundheit is being used in English too before this moment, I'm amused.
It doesn't matter. Just use them. If I say "Holy shitballs!" It doesn't mean I'm referring to balls of feces that have been blessed. Most of the time it's just an expression. Very few people mean it literally. Sometimes, it is more literal, I don't tell people to have a "Blessed Day", for instance. Religious people don't own the language, they don't own certain phrases. Actually it's kinda of fun sometimes to thumb your nose at them and use certain phases to spite them.
When I feel like blessing people after they sneeze I tend to say "May the 400 drunken rabbits god bless you". Best god name ever! For some reason I get strange looks, but not usually any comments about it.
Ahhhhh For the sake of FUCK! is my go to for almost everything. I use it with a slavic accent and it brings me joy.
I'll probably always use those phrases cause they are god damn fun to use!
Goddamn right!
"Unholy fucker of mothers" has become one of my favorites over the last few years, but I'm afraid that the ones mentioned by OP and others have become such a part of our lexicon as a people that it's just taken as it is.
A huge amount of the English language has been influenced directly by the bible. To remove every religious influence from English is to speak a different language entirely.
I pluralize god, saying "godsdamn it". Jesus fucking Christ is a common one as well.
My fave is Jesus fucking Christ 🤷♀️
I ate cereal this morning. Saying that doesn't indicate that I believe in the goddess Ceres that the word is derived from. Likewise, if I say "he panicked", I'm not invoking Pan. "I'm thankful it's Thursday" is not a prayer to Thor, nor is Friday a declaration of my belief in Frigg. We use lots of language that has its origins in the names of gods and goddesses. None of those words or phrases indicate belief in deities.
That ceres thing is interesting as hell. How does one learn stuff like this😭
I find it curious that many people use those sayings during sex. Quite the libidinal investment in religion.
Funny! Does anyone use "For the love of God" during sex? What, like "For the love of God will you please blow me?" I can barely even imagine that. I would certainly never say it.
"For the love of god...would you finish already, Stuart!"
Mary, Joseph and bastard Jesus is my go to!
I say ‘oh my Zeus!’ Or ‘for the love of Hera!’ But a good ‘Jesus fucking Christ!’ just rolls off the tongue well..LOL
"for fuck's sake" works well in a variety of situations.
I feel like this. I use "Oh my goodness" and "My goodness" respectively. Although the FAQ response quoted in this thread is not wrong.
Saying goodness or gosh or darn it, it’s the same thing as saying god or damn it, just a thinly obscured as if their god is a chat bot that can’t detect that as speaking the “lord’s [no]name” in vain.
I use this as well. It was easy to substitute because it fills the OMG perfectly. That, and it's good to be good regardless.
I like old movies and ol' '49er ones like "dagnabbit", or Steve Erwin's "Criminy"
"by the throne!" Yes. Yes I'm a Warhammer fan. How did you know?
I prefer "Hamburger fucking help me" just one alternative.
I even like to say, Jesus, Mary and Joseph! They were fictional characters, but there’s something that feels right about the epithet to me.
My go to is some religious phrase or "Fuck me in my fucking ass", for some strange reason.
The Catholic altar boys have entered the chat
Surprisingly, I grew up Muslim. Not gay, comfortable with sexuality, pro LGBTQ+. Just a saying that comes out for some reason.
Glad you asked this question. I've thought about it myself.
I've had a religious person act all smug because I exclaimed "oh my god" around them saying that I clearly believed since I said that. My response: guess you are Hindu then, I've heard you say "holy cow" plenty of times. Grow up
Don’t worry about this at all. You don’t worry about referring to the days of the week by names referencing Norse gods. And christians don’t worry about referencing Norse gods. Because these have just become part of the language. It’s the same for cursing using religious words. They are just part of the language, it doesn’t matter why. If you took this concern to the logical extreme, there are lots of common words you wouldn’t use because they originally had a religious root. For example Goodbye = God be with ye. And the number of phrases and idioms that are Bible references is huge. Just ignore the roots and use them. They’re just part of the English language in the same way the Wednesday (Woden’s Day) is.
Oh Your god!
I dont want my mind to be so rigid that I can't allow myself certain thoughts or certain phrases. I'm not in a mental prison. Christianity is a mental prison. Dont let atheism be one. OMG and all the others are standard idioms used by the masses. It doesn't mean we are acknowledging the existence of a deity. Similarly, when I say 'what the fuck' , nobody expects me to be viewing two people having sex at that moment. lol. It's just a phrase to denote a reaction. For God's sake, dont worry about it. :)
I grew up Mormon and wasn't allowed to say "omg, jesus christ, oh god,etc" so you bet I'm saying all of those now! Jesus fucking christ is my go to curse now.
I'll throw in Greek, Norse, or Egyptian gods in there. OR i'll just say Jesus name in the most offensive way i can. "For the love of Zeus!!"
I have adapted some of my sayings to reflect my nonreligious nature. For example... "For the love of all things unholy!", "Sweet Crispy Wallnuts!" and "thank the stars!" But my favourite religiously inspired saying came from Dad. "Fuckin' Jesus christ almighty!" and I am not giving that one up.
I'm french and basically learned english by mimicking what I heard. So it's pretty weird because in french I never use religion-related sayings (or maybe in a sarcastic way, otherwise we have the good ole "putain") but I would in english. It's like it's become part of the language.
I use “christ on a cracker”. No idea where I picked it up.
I continue to use them because I know some religious fuckwit may get offended.
"Oh my Dawkins!" "For the love of Darwin..." "Chris Fucking Hitchens!" Dunno just doesn't have the same ring to it.
"God fucking damn it" is in heavy rotation around my house.
Let me introduce you to my favorite swear "Christ on a cracker"
Shitfucker is pretty good.
WTF. Holy F. F..... Usually works in places where you were about to utter the g word.
try changing "oh my god" into "fuck your god"...... LOL "Jesus fucking mary in the ass christ" is a good one too. I live in Vermont, I help my neighbors so they don't say anything when I work on cars and get wicked pissed at them. Rust sucks.
I continue to use Christian Colloquialisms until a specific Christian annoys me about it. Then I switch to my "Dark Prophet" phrases that are intended to be offensive and/or humorous. Ex: "Providence of the Abyss Favors You." Or some flavor of that. "Darkness Provides." "May the Pit favor you." "Blessings of Chaos Upon You."
After watching the South Park atheism episodes, I almost exclusively say oh my science instead of oh my God and it always turns heads in the best way possible.
that's because it's language. religion has nothing to do with it. the default response to someone sneezing in English just is "bless you". that may have it's roots in religion but it's no more religious then the dutch "gezondheid" aka "good health". in dutch a lot of swearwords are just the names of diseases. do you think there's anything medical do it when i say "wat een poken zooi" (translated: "what a fucking mess" or more literally: "what a pox mess")? of course not. and in the same way there's nothing religious about "oh my god". the clearest proof is that there would be no mention of god or anything religious adjacent if you spoke in a different language.
I just use fuck. It's not religious and it offends wonderfully.
I’ve been an atheist and antitheist for about 15 years. I say the following Oh my god! Oh my allah! Jesus Fucking Christ! Jesus! Christ Almighty! Fuckin’ Hell! Holy Fuck! Holy Shit! Goddamn It! Instead of saying “They are a match made in heaven”, I say, “They are a match made in Valhalla”.
I replace god with Gord. I’m Canadian.
My favorite thing to change is when someone Sneezes I will say "Godzilla" instead of "god bless you" or "bless you"
It just comes more naturally than, say, shouting "GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!" or other such shenanigans. Plus it *really* pisses off the strict fundamentalist types to lob a few God Dammitseses and a Jesus-Fucking-Christ in their general direction...
I’ve been trying to substitute FFS (or variations) with those religious-themed references. But atheist as I am, sometimes a “Jesus Fucking Christ on the cross!” just best expresses how I feel in the moment so I cut myself some slack.
I can't stop saying god fucking dammit and jesus suffering fuck. The second one is my all-time favorite.
“Good fucking Lord” or “Jesus Fucking Christ” are my usual go good, and I mostly don’t GAF what anyone’s opinion is on the matter.
I always say fuck my ass Jesus. Sometimes gets a laugh
Don't worry about it. They've become expressions in our language. It doesn't violate your atheism. I will *NEVER* say "thank science" instead of "thank god."
Jesus Christ, who cares!
I just use the terms. Occasionally I get called on it, then I just smile and tell them "I like blasphemy ". Conversation degrades rapidly after that, but it's fun.
There is a wonderful book, Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing by Melissa Mohr that deep dives in to how religion and cursing/swearing intersect. Really fascinating read.
I'm a recovering fundamentalist and I still sorta cringe when I hear my kids say "oh my god". I don't care much at all but it still gives me a uneasy feeling. Brainwashing is a hell of a drug.
I live right in the middle of the Bible Belt, so I tend to try to not use offensive phrases. Mostly because I don’t want a lecture and I don’t wanna end up going to HR. But when I’m alone or with someone that doesn’t care, goddamn or Jesus Christ is my go to.
My wife (who is "Jew-*ish*") says "for the love of Odin" all the time. I personally love it
The great thing about being a staunch atheist is that you don't have beliefs to violate. You are without belief. Saying "Jesus Christ!" or "OMG!" is like anyone else saying "Go fuck yourself"--for most that is literally impossible, but it's the sentiment that counts and is communicated.
My suggestion is not to bother with it. They're just turns of phrases that have become part of our culture/language. You may not *believe* in any of the religious stuff, but you also can't deny the impact religion has had on our culture and history. If you're trying to replace words/phrases like "oh my god" are you also going to stop saying words like "goodbye" that has its origins in the phrase "God be with you?" How about the word "template, " which is based on a word describing a small temple? What about the word "bulletin" whose original usage was to describe an announcement from the pope? Let's ignore Christianity. Are you going to start calling the planets different names? They are all named after Roman gods (except Uranus, which is Greek). There are countless other examples of many words and phrases having origins based on religions that I could also list. In short, I think the idea of changing existing language to ignore/remove references to religion is both a waste of time and futile. I get the sentimentality of it since I once thought like that too, but I think it's very much a "new atheist" thing that you should try to grow out of. Instead, why don't you focus that energy on combating the actual harmful things that religion does, like genital mutilation, indoctrination, misogyny, abuse of power, etc.
Jiminy Crickets, You can insert the F word as needed. Oh my Dog, because I get way more from my dogs than some floaty dude ever.
By Grabthar's Hammer
I once read a good response to someone asking "why do athiests still say 'oh my god?'" Because we say it when something is just completely unbelievable.
Stubbed my toe long ago and yelled out "Jesus Allah Budda!" And I kind of like the way it sounds. Plus, I'm being inclusive. So I got that going for me, which is nice 😉
I've mostly removed that language out of my lexicon. Although, I still use "Holy Fuck." Because I think we should keep sex sacred.
We are not Christian (or anything else) but my adult daughter and I frequently say Thank you, Black Baby Jesus, somewhat because of the historical accuracy (Jesus was Black), but mostly because we think it is funny. Another time, I was at a social function for work. I wasn't listening to the conversation until I heard someone say, Is God a woman? To which I promptly replied, Yes, and she's pissed. Again, no beliefs in a God of any gender - I said it to be funny, and everyone laughed. The people that know me well know my personal beliefs. The rest I don't care what they think. And, I don't feel the need to broadcast my beliefs - to me, to do so is somewhat akin to wearing a fucking cross necklace.
I'm from Québec. Almost all our swear words are related to religion. Even as a staunch anticlerical atheist I'll never use other words, they're the only remnant of our catholic past I'm more than willing to keep alive. Historically, they are used as a deliberate blasphemy in defiance to religious authority [hostie d'crisse de tabarnak, hostie d'câlisse de viarge!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlIfTpJlleo)
Bruv, my father's an atheist, he once said and I quote: "For the love of God, will you stop praying?"
I like to say "oh my glob" a la Lumps Space Princess
Atheism isn't a belief, it is a lack of belief or strong disbelief. Curse away how you see fit.
Well, I, being a fiery one, often use expressions like e.g. "Damn, you devil", "Satan-fuckhead", etc., etc., but I don't feel that turns me into some kind of satanist. These expressions of "God" or "Satan" are empty when you don't believe in the imaginary figures they refer to ....
Saying omg is apparently taking the lords name in vein so actually your doing something against god.
I just let ‘em fly- OMG, JFC, goddammit etc etc. They’re just vent words, no meaning beyond blowing off steam.
You aren't betraying your beliefs because we don't have beliefs and not believing in god means you can say whatever you like because you know it dosent reflect on the beliefs you don't actually have. Words and phrases are just that, words and phrases and can be used any way you like without having to adhere to any specific meanings or uses. Thinking their use is somehow cheating or hypocritical isn't rational because other than offending religious people it makes no difference in any way what words you use or how you use them
Use whatever words you want. You’re the driver.
Gordon Bennett!
Instead of saying "thank god", i replaced it with "thank fuck"
Dude, “goodbye” is from “god be with ye”. Just swear.
Oh My Dog is my new go to. Takes a few years to have it come out without thinking about it.
Jesus titty-fucking Christ
I like to use Battlestar Galactica “frak!”
My fave go to is Jesus Titty Fucking Christ!
If the shoe fits, use it. My cursing is the only reason my kids know the name Jesus
One of the many reasons ilike being an atheist that I get to say the lord's name in vain anytime I goddamn well please. They are the ones that don't get to do that.
I say, “Cock n balls”
Former Catholic here, and all these are habit AND blasphemous. It’s a win win.
"Oh for the love of Pete!"
I like adding to it.....Jesus Fucking Christ and the Horse he rode in on........
I like “Oh my fucking god!”
You dont believe in a god so you dont have to worry about god striking you down, just relish the freedom that gives you, say whatever you want dont worry sbout it
GREAT JUPITER'S BALLSACK YOU ARE RIGHT!
I went thru that I started saying gods instead. That pagan plural just makes it so blasphemous and enjoyable.
Atheists: Lets get away from including deities in our swearing. Christians: Lets get away from including deities in our swearing.
try "goodness" instead. *Oh my goodness* is perfectly acceptable! *For the love of all that is good will you...* worx as well. I've been known to exclaim "HOLY MONKEY!" to hilarious effect as well.
I use "Jesus tits" all the time in place of oh my god or whatever. Don't know why. Just rolls off the tongue
Beeing an atheist is not a believe. Its the default you are born with. Other people have to gaslight you to believe in a god. You can't betray your believes because not believing is not a believe. Say whatever you want. You are free now bro.
I love religious cursing, "Jesus fucking Christ" "God fucking damn it" "Oh my fucking god" The blasphemy just rolls off the tongue.