THE CAT!
Does he just like cats? Is he playing chess against it? Is it about to knock over the king, revealing it's actually an analogy for Gillard??? I NEED TO KNOW!
Bizarre how many people think a bunch of foreign language books and a chess set has been schemed into the image to make him appear smart. He's a former prime minister who speaks fluent Mandarin. I know that our recent run of prime minister's hasn't been the most intellectual but ffs, smart people have this kind of thing in their house. A chess set doesn't mean you're moonlighting as a wannabe genius. It's a game children can play.
I agree and I respect Rudd so this is not having a go at him. But also... this painting just seems really weirdly executed. The seams are showing. The staging is too just-so and comes off looking really pretentious.
Like I could stage a similar scene in my house with the weirdly specialised technical library my wife and I keep for our work coupled with an eclectic, accumulated interior decor. We could make it look pretentious as fuck. But it never actually looks that way, ever. It looks used and lived in, not staged for Instagram.
And then there's the fucking cat. So many more subtle ways to have included the cat in that picture. And lack of subtlety is exactly the point of /u/SnoopThylacine's satire. It's not that the details are fabricated; it's that their arrangement and presentation is contrived in the extreme.
The words to the Australian National Anthem.
Australians let us rejoice cause we get things for free
We love the little nerdie guy who tends our money tree
Loans grants and solar panels an LPG in cars
We love this little nerdie guy who frequents striptease bars.
I don't really know much about portrait art but this feels like... not a good portrait to me.
Like it's cluttered, the proportions feel slightly off, the background feels distracting, ~~the suit jacket is dark to the point of almost being a featureless void~~, the scene has, idk, weird geometry? Not sure if that's a thing, and the props and pose make him seem pretentious.
The whole thing screams "executive meddling" to me.
edit: Yeah I just looked at some of the artists other work, and those looked great, so I'm wondering what lead to this travesty.
edit 2: The actual portrait is much lighter than it looks in the posted pic.
Agreed. The composition is very poor, too much going on, and why in gods name did they paint the void in the back of the house? Just fill it in and take some artistic license instead of trying to perfectly replicate this very staged set-up inside his home
Then the face - it hardly looks like him tbh. The hands are too big also.
I'm not a fan
This reminds me of one of those 'the longer you look at it, the worse it gets' paintings. I'm staring at the portrait expecting to find bloody handprints, octopus tentacles, or aliens hidden in the background.
That is the most ridiculously "busy" portrait I have ever seen.
Its like "OK, Kevin, what are you interests, tell me about your life". And then the artist squashed as many references into the canvas as he could.
Unfortunately, his only interest was China and he owned a cat. So they had to put a lot of "China" references throughout, and the original had 20 cats in the painting, but they didnt make the final cut - mainly because there was a bit of confusion revolving around the cats assole and Kevins face.
Instead they added in things like a chess game (the cat is winning) and a few "sticky" things in the background, which many may recognise as an apology.
> and the original had 20 cats in the painting, but they didnt make the final cut - mainly because there was a bit of confusion revolving around the cats assole and Kevins face.
The casually savage irreverence towards our leaders, current and former, is a core part of our culture. Fuck you, I nearly woke the house up laughing at this, I love it <3
A relaxed intimate portrait of the subject looking both formal and contemplative as prime minister with a beard he grew a decade after he was prime minister in a domestic setting about to sign something, glancing through books in two different languages whilst drinking tea from a fine china cup, admiring contemporary art, drawing on the legacy of John Curtin to apologise to the stolen generation whilst forcefully exhorting the union movement to greater efforts for its members and playing chess, against a cat.
This is the perfect metaphor for the programmatic specificity of Kevin Rudd's prime ministership. Kudos to the artist, he's nailed it.
I just fed this prompt into a few Stable Diffusion models and the results are surprisingly good. Results are improved by dropping "intimate", which generates too much of a close-up to get the cat and the chessboard in frame. It really doesn't like drawing him with a beard though, and when it does it's very thin.
Remember that special the ABC did on the night of the long knives?
Rudd’s position on being knifed basically boiled down to, ‘Why didn’t they tell me I was a massive cunt!?’
Good times.
Curious if Julia’s official portrait will be this but with Rudd flopped down on his desk and a knife in his back and Julia standing over him. Would be a good chuckle.
I want to see a group painting similar to the one of US presidents playing poker, except it’s every Australian PM of the 21st century in the middle of a bar fight.
And it'll be at the footy and he'll be wearing a bucket hat, awkwardly holding a meat pie and looking over his shoulder with a mixture of shock and surprise like someone just yelled "Oi! Scummo!".
Scomo in a hawaiian shirt and face mask, pieces of silver and burnt leavess on the table in front of him, a disgusted maccas employee with a mop and bucket in the background. Through the window behind her, CFA trucks in the car park.
>chess
Yes! A thousand times yes! That's why I'm here. I note a piece appears to be knocked over but as far as I can tell there is a black pawn in an impossible position. Outrageous! I hate it when people can't even fake chess right.
ABC's headline for this was something along the lines of "Kevin Rudd returns to parliament, but this time as a painting."
If that isn't the dumbest shittiest headline I've ever heard I don't know what is.
Not sure if chess board and cat are things he really usually has on his desk, or a subtle symbolism of a black cat crossing the path representing an ill omen and the chess board representing politics, e.g. a symbol of him getting backstabbed by gilliard?
Yeah, he was a bit busy trying to be PM and FM at the same time. I remember one of the wikileaks revelations was that DFAT felt so out of the loop on what he was doing that they apparently asked foreign ambassadors about what our own PM was up to.
What the hell is going on with perspective here? His hand and table / books look weird. And the whole thing looks plastic and amateurish, he's barely recognizable for heaven's sake.
I like the cat, I like the setting, I just.....don't think the artist really 'got' him in the image. No, none of my paintings are hanging in the national portrait gallery, it's just my opinion.
Nothing wrong with Kev'O'Sev in my books but it's a bit odd, fair bit slimmer in this painting than in virtually any photo you'll see, and the beard entirely post-dates his time as PM.
What's the point of doing a portrait 10 years later?
Good god he looks like a cunt.
Just do it straight on with him behind the desk and the shelves behind him. None of this, "Oh, I didn't see you there" looking bullshit.
It's painted, official and so very scripted, is it that hard not to look like a mong instead of semi-dignified?
Oh, the ones after this are only going to be worse aren't they?
I was expecting to see him in a toga with a knife to stab the emperor. I think the beard would have suited that scene, he'd look like senator Gracchus played by Derek Jacobi in the Gladiator.
His head is fatter and doesn't quite capture the twerpy prickness. the arsehole was at a loose end for years until albo and the lads got power again and gave him a plum job in washington, I hate politicians
If I'm not wrong, these prime ministerial portraits are generally painted years after they leave office, and depict how the PM appeared during their sittings rather than in office.
I've been on the Parliamrnt House tour and seen the other prime ministerial portraits. This looks so second rate compared to the others. John Howard's and Julia Gillard's slay by a mile.
I quite like the composition and perspective but fuck me that chair is disproportionately low. Is he sitting on a kindergarten chair? Have we just never noticed that he has child size legs? Weird.
It should be of how he was as Prime Minister not 10 years later.
He never grew the beard until he left politics.
It suits him though, trying to rewrite history to make himself look better.
Hmmmm.... the statues in the background...
A cross between Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man and the Monolith from *2001: A Space Odyssey*.
Beard was a bold choice, that's not how I remember him as PM
Beard was definitely a post-PM change.
From my memories of Rudd as PM, you just could've painted a Mr Sheen can and called it a day.
The milky bar kid
[Axis of Awesome](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH2TPEk_3c0) had the same idea ... except about John Howard...
Tintin Kevin does not approve.
The chessboard? The pile of books? THE CHINAWARE?! This has me fucked up.
THE CAT! Does he just like cats? Is he playing chess against it? Is it about to knock over the king, revealing it's actually an analogy for Gillard??? I NEED TO KNOW!
A nod to Jasper https://kevinrudd.com/books/jasper-amp-abby-and-the-great-australia-day-kerfuffle-with-rhys-muldoon
That was a hit of nostalgia I wasn’t expecting
I think the cat is just a nod to him being internet savvy. Everyone knows cats = internets.
Are those 3 bongs in the background? I didn't know he punched cones.
Looks like a Burmese cat.
He must like pussy.
It is cringe. It is however KRudd all over.
It looks all calculated to make us think he's smart.
The chessboard and books are put there to make him look smart.
It all belongs to the cat. Everything belongs to the cat. This is Cat101
Foreign language books, no less. He smart.
Well he does speak Putonghua
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In Pat Cash's old house?
If you look close enough there's an inamite rod, which sounds like Rudd so you don't forget.
Of course there's Chinaware.
Looks like if Mad As Hell was being hosted from home during lockdowns.
I kinda wanna photoshop Shaun's face onto this now!
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Lol that’s literally just his house.
Damn he ballin'
Bizarre how many people think a bunch of foreign language books and a chess set has been schemed into the image to make him appear smart. He's a former prime minister who speaks fluent Mandarin. I know that our recent run of prime minister's hasn't been the most intellectual but ffs, smart people have this kind of thing in their house. A chess set doesn't mean you're moonlighting as a wannabe genius. It's a game children can play.
I agree and I respect Rudd so this is not having a go at him. But also... this painting just seems really weirdly executed. The seams are showing. The staging is too just-so and comes off looking really pretentious. Like I could stage a similar scene in my house with the weirdly specialised technical library my wife and I keep for our work coupled with an eclectic, accumulated interior decor. We could make it look pretentious as fuck. But it never actually looks that way, ever. It looks used and lived in, not staged for Instagram. And then there's the fucking cat. So many more subtle ways to have included the cat in that picture. And lack of subtlety is exactly the point of /u/SnoopThylacine's satire. It's not that the details are fabricated; it's that their arrangement and presentation is contrived in the extreme.
*And one of those funny sculpture things. Actually, let's give him three. Yes, he definitely needs three funny sculptures.*
Three pillars I believe
I can't stop laughing. You can consult my portrait any time.
The words to the Australian National Anthem. Australians let us rejoice cause we get things for free We love the little nerdie guy who tends our money tree Loans grants and solar panels an LPG in cars We love this little nerdie guy who frequents striptease bars.
It's missing the phone with the quickdial-saved numbers for various journalists to leak his "will-he/won't he" leadership challenge bids
you win the interwebs today!
*.....the cat wanders over the chessboard as grand master strategist Kevin Rudd blesses it with his immaculate wisdom.*
I don't really know much about portrait art but this feels like... not a good portrait to me. Like it's cluttered, the proportions feel slightly off, the background feels distracting, ~~the suit jacket is dark to the point of almost being a featureless void~~, the scene has, idk, weird geometry? Not sure if that's a thing, and the props and pose make him seem pretentious. The whole thing screams "executive meddling" to me. edit: Yeah I just looked at some of the artists other work, and those looked great, so I'm wondering what lead to this travesty. edit 2: The actual portrait is much lighter than it looks in the posted pic.
Agreed. The composition is very poor, too much going on, and why in gods name did they paint the void in the back of the house? Just fill it in and take some artistic license instead of trying to perfectly replicate this very staged set-up inside his home Then the face - it hardly looks like him tbh. The hands are too big also. I'm not a fan
It's hard to judge paintings via Internet images or print media. Actually looking at them in person can change your perspective on them.
Fair.
This reminds me of one of those 'the longer you look at it, the worse it gets' paintings. I'm staring at the portrait expecting to find bloody handprints, octopus tentacles, or aliens hidden in the background.
I'm convinced his house actually looks like this
It gives off an eerie vibe that's for sure. IMO it's a fucking sick painting though, makes him look like a sorcerer or a 4000 year old vampire.
That is the most ridiculously "busy" portrait I have ever seen. Its like "OK, Kevin, what are you interests, tell me about your life". And then the artist squashed as many references into the canvas as he could. Unfortunately, his only interest was China and he owned a cat. So they had to put a lot of "China" references throughout, and the original had 20 cats in the painting, but they didnt make the final cut - mainly because there was a bit of confusion revolving around the cats assole and Kevins face. Instead they added in things like a chess game (the cat is winning) and a few "sticky" things in the background, which many may recognise as an apology.
> and the original had 20 cats in the painting, but they didnt make the final cut - mainly because there was a bit of confusion revolving around the cats assole and Kevins face. The casually savage irreverence towards our leaders, current and former, is a core part of our culture. Fuck you, I nearly woke the house up laughing at this, I love it <3
I laughed. Thanks for that it's been a long day
A relaxed intimate portrait of the subject looking both formal and contemplative as prime minister with a beard he grew a decade after he was prime minister in a domestic setting about to sign something, glancing through books in two different languages whilst drinking tea from a fine china cup, admiring contemporary art, drawing on the legacy of John Curtin to apologise to the stolen generation whilst forcefully exhorting the union movement to greater efforts for its members and playing chess, against a cat. This is the perfect metaphor for the programmatic specificity of Kevin Rudd's prime ministership. Kudos to the artist, he's nailed it.
I just fed this prompt into a few Stable Diffusion models and the results are surprisingly good. Results are improved by dropping "intimate", which generates too much of a close-up to get the cat and the chessboard in frame. It really doesn't like drawing him with a beard though, and when it does it's very thin.
The 3 bongs are impressive.
LOL, now I can't unsee them
Remember that special the ABC did on the night of the long knives? Rudd’s position on being knifed basically boiled down to, ‘Why didn’t they tell me I was a massive cunt!?’ Good times.
Rudd's position on being knifed was "I am surprised that the 2IC that I've been actively undermining would turn on me!"
Looks like AI art. It's pretty soulless.
It's like someone punched into midjourney "paint me a picture making krudd look like a pretentious wanker"
Much like Kev himself.
Curious if Julia’s official portrait will be this but with Rudd flopped down on his desk and a knife in his back and Julia standing over him. Would be a good chuckle.
Kim Beasley would like to have a word …
Not to mention Turnbull and Scotty.
Hahaha true :)
Yeah Beasley definitely could have beat Howard, he had the mandate of people ! /s
Of all the politicians over the past 30yrs, I wanted to punch Beasley the least.
They stabbed him in the back as he was grieving his fathers death … cold as F.
It'll be a recreation of the [Moe throwing out Barney meme](https://imgur.com/a/UUIXdbj) with Julia as Moe and Rudd as Barney
Julia's should be of her 'standing over' the other side of the House during 'that' speech.
Julia already did hers 10 years ago, big schnozza
I want to see a group painting similar to the one of US presidents playing poker, except it’s every Australian PM of the 21st century in the middle of a bar fight.
It would substantially improve this piece of shit painting. Just on the level of art. I have no actual beef with Rudd.
oh fuck I've just been reminded we'll get one of these for scomo... fucks sake.
He'll probably wear a Cronulla Sharks outfit.
And it'll be at the footy and he'll be wearing a bucket hat, awkwardly holding a meat pie and looking over his shoulder with a mixture of shock and surprise like someone just yelled "Oi! Scummo!".
Shitting his pants in a Hawaiian Maccas while everything outside burns to the ground. Now there's an idea!
Scomo in a hawaiian shirt and face mask, pieces of silver and burnt leavess on the table in front of him, a disgusted maccas employee with a mop and bucket in the background. Through the window behind her, CFA trucks in the car park.
Does anyone else notice chessboard is set up wrong so the black and white squares are switched?
>chess Yes! A thousand times yes! That's why I'm here. I note a piece appears to be knocked over but as far as I can tell there is a black pawn in an impossible position. Outrageous! I hate it when people can't even fake chess right.
I imagine it's intentional by the artist to convey a meaning.
Sit back and I'll show you how the Kevin 07 move checkmate is done right meow -Jasper the cat
Looks like an AI render of a South Park character to human.
Does his head look small or his hands look big?
Back to the drawing board. Cats not actively knocking over chess pieces Unusable
ABC's headline for this was something along the lines of "Kevin Rudd returns to parliament, but this time as a painting." If that isn't the dumbest shittiest headline I've ever heard I don't know what is.
Straight to the pool room
I don't see a handball, I am saddened.
What is he thinking? Here's my idea: "I wonder how many more strippers i can massage with my ear wax?"
A bit of a departure from the standard PM's portrait, but I suppose that's the trend now. Gillard's portrait similarly breaks with convention.
Such a tiny little head.
Not sure if chess board and cat are things he really usually has on his desk, or a subtle symbolism of a black cat crossing the path representing an ill omen and the chess board representing politics, e.g. a symbol of him getting backstabbed by gilliard?
The chessboard is set up incorrectly, it symbolises pseudo-intellectualism.
Where are the 11 secret herbs and spices?
Plot twist, even with all those books, the cat is still winning at chess.
It looks like something out of the Jehovah's Witness Watchtower pamphlets
Decent PM who should have served for much longer, but jesus, he's a bit of a twat isn't he?
Yeah, he was a bit busy trying to be PM and FM at the same time. I remember one of the wikileaks revelations was that DFAT felt so out of the loop on what he was doing that they apparently asked foreign ambassadors about what our own PM was up to.
Not enough swearing.
R/picsthatgohard
What the hell is going on with perspective here? His hand and table / books look weird. And the whole thing looks plastic and amateurish, he's barely recognizable for heaven's sake.
The chessboard really? Satire is dead.
‘Ah, a fine move, Mr Tibbles’ ‘Meow’
Bearded KRudd is way fatter than this. Thin Rudd was baby face milky bar kid.
It captures his essence really well. Can just feel the smugness oozing from this picture.
it's a bit shit
No ketchup bottle. 2/10
That's Colonel Sanders
Even his portrait doesn't do him justice.
Get rid of the Rolf Harrisy beard.
What is this, Burke's Backyard?
Fucking scomo
Needs more ratfucking.
Painter has done the cat dirty, not even a glimpse of his prized butthole.
Can anyone identify those 3 books stacked left corner?
"How to Answer Questions You Ask Yourself" "How to be Prime Minister - Twice" (by K. Rudd) "How to Let Everyone Know You Were Prime Minister (Twice)"
I like the cat, I like the setting, I just.....don't think the artist really 'got' him in the image. No, none of my paintings are hanging in the national portrait gallery, it's just my opinion.
Where are your manners, Kev? No elbows on the table!
Who is this person? It ain't Kevin '07
Does anyone else think..... this is kinda dogshit? The face doesn't even look like him, and what is that gross yellow skin colouring....
The cat just beat him at Chess
Nothing wrong with Kev'O'Sev in my books but it's a bit odd, fair bit slimmer in this painting than in virtually any photo you'll see, and the beard entirely post-dates his time as PM. What's the point of doing a portrait 10 years later?
Should have Chinese flags in the background
Those 'rat fuckers' ?
Good god he looks like a cunt. Just do it straight on with him behind the desk and the shelves behind him. None of this, "Oh, I didn't see you there" looking bullshit. It's painted, official and so very scripted, is it that hard not to look like a mong instead of semi-dignified? Oh, the ones after this are only going to be worse aren't they?
Captures the pretentious twatness perfectly
I was expecting to see him in a toga with a knife to stab the emperor. I think the beard would have suited that scene, he'd look like senator Gracchus played by Derek Jacobi in the Gladiator.
Can someone share with me why the fuck a portrait of Kevin Rudd (or anyone for that matter) is so fucking important today?
What century is this?
Prick.
Best PM ever!
His head is fatter and doesn't quite capture the twerpy prickness. the arsehole was at a loose end for years until albo and the lads got power again and gave him a plum job in washington, I hate politicians
What a man 😍
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That word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
Haha nuts
Scrolling through I thought the cat was an AT-AT. What a shame it isn’t haha
I like it. Especially that thing in the back with the 3 poles things. Also there is a cat
The three random logs in the background are an interesting choice.
We both descended from the same convict: Mary Wade
It's not that good...
Scomos is of him shitting his pants outside endagaine McDonald's
George Lucas!
Hmm ok, lot’s things going on…
Black looks to be losing badly on the chessboard.
No Kevin '07 shirt?
Can't believe they put white borders on the sides. Looks bad.
Rolf vibes
Missing the pink batts in the background........
Looks like Krudd!
He has a real nice house. And pen.
Are those books in chinese?
"WHERE'S MY FARKEN SANDWICH AYE!"
Whoops, sorry I mixed up your portrait with Shaun Micallefs
And people say politicians are out of touch
I watched a movie that had a whole bunch of weird library shit in it. I can't remember seeing Kevin in it but 🤷♀️
Derryn Hinch in shambles.
Massive floor suction dildos..
If I'm not wrong, these prime ministerial portraits are generally painted years after they leave office, and depict how the PM appeared during their sittings rather than in office.
Looks like a cross between Dick Smith and Don Burke. Not really like Rudd
I wish he was slamming his fist on the table ranting about having easier words in Mandarin to read. But I love this guy so am happy
I would have picked him more of a checkers player than a chess player.
Has he done that thing where you organise your books by colour? There's lots of orange covered books clumped together, ditto yellow, red, and blue.
白痴
I like it, it feels like it could be a piece of art depicting an investigator in some Call of Cthulhu-esque RPG rulebook.
The chessboard is set up wrong
It's not even in portrait format/aspect, it's landscape. Wtf.
MidJourney?
The Weird Beard Kevin 07 It's a no from me
I've been on the Parliamrnt House tour and seen the other prime ministerial portraits. This looks so second rate compared to the others. John Howard's and Julia Gillard's slay by a mile.
I feel like I disappointed someone else’s tenured uncle.
Was a fan of Rudd, but fark the man just had to let everyone know what an intellectual he was all the time hey
Finally
I quite like the composition and perspective but fuck me that chair is disproportionately low. Is he sitting on a kindergarten chair? Have we just never noticed that he has child size legs? Weird.
It should be of how he was as Prime Minister not 10 years later. He never grew the beard until he left politics. It suits him though, trying to rewrite history to make himself look better.
This is just the Wojak meme where the big brain genius plays chess against himself.
Well it definitely sums up his character, and I guess the black cat symbolises the bad luck he ran into, 'I'm looking at you, Greens'
He looks like he should be playing cards with a few dogs
Hmmmm.... the statues in the background... A cross between Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man and the Monolith from *2001: A Space Odyssey*.
It looks as if his head has had the most time spent on it for detail, compared to all the other items in the painting.