Hahaha I did this with my first baby. I was very very private about it because I just wanted to be I guess. I made a few people mad when they found out but once they understood that I didnât exclude them from a baby shower etc, I just didnât DO any of that they were fine with it and wanted to see pictures, lol.
I did a "lol surprise" post on socials for friends and acquaintances when I had my kid. It was the height of the pandemic and I saw no one and then it was third trimester aaaaand well it was funnier to just wait till kiddo was exterior to tell people.
Tl;dr embrace the awkward. It's funny.
That's what I'm confused on. OP didn't talk to them for 9 months.. why worry about it? If it's one of those friendships you just pick up where you left off even after a long time, then just say how it you would say anything else like a new job.
Agree. If I were on the receiving end of a random
text of a baby from a supposed friend Iâd be a little confused. And slightly annoyed. If OPâs friends reached out first, Iâd say sorry I didnât tell you
earlier but I just welcomed a baby. But after 9 months of I assume no or limited contacted I donât get the point. Maybe doing a general Facebook post if OP has Facebook is the best approach here.
Thatâs not a correct assumption. I did talk to these people, it just never really came up I was pregnant. I also avoided telling anyone until like 4-5 months in.
It seems like if you talk to someone regularly without it âcoming upâ to tell them that youâre pregnant (did they never ask âwhatâs new with you?â Or âwhatâs up?â) for 9 months it may not be a very close friend. Or you chose to not tell them when they asked about you and your life, in which case it still seems like you arenât that close. If they ARE close and for whatever reason you just chose to hide your pregnancy from them, then theyâre going to find it weird no matter how you tell them now.
Idk, sometimes at first you want to keep things to yourself and then you get into a bit of a spiral of how to bring it up as the pressure builds and it gets progressively harder/more awkward.
Iâve been there. Especially when itâs not a topic you usually talk about.
No not for everyone.
I literally was 8 months along before some of the people I worked with in person found out and it wasn't from me telling them (my body didn't show really at all for my first, they just thought I was getting fat thanks to water weight). I also didn't tell my therapist until I was quite far along, she was surprised to say the least (who I found out then happened to specialize in pregnancy and post partum).
I think for me it comes from a place of not wanting to seem like a "look at me" kind of person. It was probably a trauma response to the emotions that come with pregnancy too, I mostly avoid strong emotions. I also get that this is not a typical response to pregnancy but it's not uncommon.
To the OP I would say maybe just own up to it. "Hey! I wanted to let you know that I just had a baby, they were born at some hospital at a healthy X lbs. I realize I didn't mention it before but I wanted to wait until second trimester and then felt it would be awkward to blurt it out (this is totally my mistake). I apologize and hope you can forgive me. I know this seems sudden, and I didn't mean for it to go to the end like it has."
I feel like saying 'I hope you can forgive me' seems a bit much. Why should OP apologise for not sharing her personal news? Did the friends ask if anything was new and she actively hid it? It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like it didn't come up on either end, so I don't think OP owes an apology. It's no one's right to know this kind of news.
Since it never came up so you didnât mention it, why arenât you waiting for the topic to just come up now? Why the sudden urge to announce this part?
I agree with the other commentor that itâs a bit offensive if these people are considered friends.
I also never announced publicly anywhere and there was a handful of people that I didnât directly tell (I live far from home). But at the same time I do think it is awkward to send a âsurprise I had a babyâ text out of the blue, especially if youâve seen these people while pregnant. I tried to deal with it more organically by letting word of mouth spread and if I happened to be chatting to that person I would let them know then.
I get where sheâs coming from. The child wasnât there physically so she didnât feel the need to mention it, and now the child is here and she probably feels like they deserve the respect of being known about now that theyâre earth side? đ€š OP, this was me. People will be excited and surprised when you mention it.
Exactly! I was focused on growing a human and getting the house ready. I didnât want anyone making a fuss or trying to throw a baby shower. Iâm very introverted. Plus with adult friendships it is so common to go months without seeing or speaking to each other so sometimes you just have big news to tell people. I think with social media people are just used to having access to each otherâs personal lives so they see it as odd when you choose not to share something until youâre ready.
Iâve also gotten texts from friends I hadnât seen in awhile before being like â Hey look I had a baby!!â And I was super excited and surprised for them. It didnât occur to me to be like â how dare they wait to tell me!â It wasnât about me.
The same thing happened to me too OP. Now Iâm 6 mo pp and STILL havenât told some people. I was so venerable being preg that I didnât want to tell everyone. Now that my hormones are evening out I think about posting my preg photos and maybe a birth announcement to get it out the way but it never feels like the right time. Idk. Iâm with you.
Iâd definitely be hurt if someone I was supposed to be friends with, who Iâve repeatedly talked to multiple times in the last 9 months, just never told me about a huge thing going on in their life like that.
And with all the posts here about being offended by being asked if they're pregnant when they're trying or even not trying... Obviously nobody would ask that but she's blaming them for not asking?
I had similar people, just send a cute pic, "guess who's here!"
People I am actually close with responded great. One that is always a bit weird...was weird lol. Honestly though, if baby is only 2 weeks old your emotions are probably high, don't stress, reach out when appropriateÂ
So I told very few people I was pregnant. After I gave birth I posted a picture of my daughter with a caption âphew that was hard work.â Everyone was shocked but it was a good way to get the news out to people I didnât tell.
I had a friend who I had drifted away from over a year or so and she texted one day âsoâŠI recently became a mom!â
It was kind of a joke because when she got engaged she showed up to brunch and showed us our ring and said âsoâŠI recently became engagedâ
I was 7 months pregnant at the time and hadnât told her either (she had a miscarriage and then had trouble conceiving after so I felt weird dropping the bomb since we hadnât talked much or seen each other in a year). I was overjoyed and got to send a pic back saying I had a friend coming for her baby in a few months. Weâve now texted each other pictures every so often. Iâd say just rip the band aid off and send a pic!
The only people we've told are people we've seen in person.
Plan on posting a photo when he's born. I'd love to get one of my eldest and baby snuggling but I'm not sure he'd sit still lol
Did this too except I didnât specifically point out the baby and just said merry Christmas from the __ family, with a pic of all of us but baby was really tiny. We were all wearing matching jammies and she blended right in so it was like a Whereâs Waldo. đ A couple people went, âwait, are you holding a real baby?? lol
Hey OP! Iâve been there and I understand how news like that can become a spiral of awkwardness. Iâm really glad youâre looking for a way to confront it head-on instead of cut ties or sidestep with some sort of general announcement. I would say something along the lines of:
>âHi friend! I wanted to share some important news with you. Iâve been anticipating it for a really long time, but I didnât tell anyone at the beginning and wasnât sure how to share the news later.â
>*âWhat is it?â*
>âIâve been pregnant and two weeks ago I gave birth to a baby girl/boy.â
Hopefully your friend is empathetic and will excited for you :)
I think being honest about any awkwardness or anxiety you felt trying to break the news will help them understand that **you did care about telling them**, but your brain got in the way.
As others have said, if you haven't seen them for over 9 months how close are you as friends? It's announce it on social media.
FYI I hid my last pregnancy from everyone including parents because I'd had many previous losses. I just stayed at home for 9 months. On the day of his birth we called the grandparents and told them, they then announced to the extended family.Â
I made a comment on a Facebook group two weeks later and didn't realise my 'friends' would see the comment on their newsfeed. Suddenly I received multiple screenshots from my work colleagues who I hadn't seen and they didn't know about the pregnancy, so that was my announcement.
Some of these people do not live anywhere near me which is why I havenât seen them. Itâs normal to not see friends who live in different parts of the country/world for 9 months.
One of my close friends who I did not tell was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and then found out she was infertile in her mid-20s; she was absolutely devastated by this news so I had trouble telling her I was pregnant bc I didnât want her to think I was rubbing it in or anything like that. I did want to find a way to tell her, and made multiple efforts to get her on the phone toward the end of my pregnancy to tell her, but we just kept missing each otherâs calls.
Just be truthful and say exactly this. Tell her first then do a joke for the rest of you feel like. I also held my pregnancy back a long time because I was scared in case it went wrong and had a lot of anxiety about it. I'd go the emotional route as people will understand and not feel like you were being facetious.
This friend I think you need to be really honest with. Itâs a super delicate situation and truthfully I think she will be a bit hurt because you hid it. My good friend was also in the throes of infertility when I was pregnant and believe me I wanted to do the same and not say anything. So this friend in particularly I would take a dedicated bit of space and be really humble with.
Normal not to see them, but we live in a society where you can easily ask thousands of strangers online how to approach your dilemma, yet you couldnât easily text them you were pregnant. đ€·đ»ââïž
Just tell them you have a kid. If you didnât make a big deal out of it then, why should you now.
This pregnancy only told those closest to us, then after baby was a week old posted a picture on social media announcing his birth. So many were shocked, it was fun đ
I just texted people a pic and said "here's Baby2!" I didn't do a social media announcement that I was pregnant with either, but I told close friends and family with #1. I discovered then that I hate telling people I'm pregnant, soooo I didn't tell most people with #2.Â
My acquaintance did a video where you saw her first two kids playing in a rotating recliner and when the chair turned another time you saw the baby being held by the older siblings. Super cute. Honestly though, it was just jarring that they didnât feel the need to tell all of us. Like these are not close friends but weâve spent lots of time together over the years and it was a little bit of a slap in the face that they told some people but not all people (which they made clear in their follow up comments). I donât feel I have the right to be offended (and I would never say anything negative about it to them of course) but it was an odd feeling and I want you to be mentally prepared that people might feel some type of way!
If you have all of these friends on social media I would just do a generic post about âsuprise, I had a babyâ
That way when there is an emotional bomb drop, Itâs not directly at you. Hopefully they will all be level headed by the time they reach out to you.
I âsurprise I have a babyâd everyone with my second. I hid it for fun. Whatâs funny to me is that I went to a friends engagement party 22 weeks pregnant and even managed to have no one notice there.
My first was a Covid baby so similarly, the only reason anyone knew is because my mom tagged me in a Facebook post excited to be a first time grandma.
I think at this stage in life if you donât see people often thereâs the expectation that life milestones happen without them there. So just bringing it up when asked whatâs new is usually acceptable to people
I just sent them a picture of my baby with no context and my husband posted on fb. The only people who knew I was pregnant were close family and people who saw me in the last 4 months of pregnancy when I started to look pregnant.
Just do a newborn shoot on your own or professional and put up pretty pictures announcing the arrival of your Little one on face, Instagram and WhatsApp status đđ± no need to overthink.
My wife and I didn't tell anyone she was preg for the first 7 months and after that only our parents knew.
It was super fun video calling are friends and just be holding a new born
I donât tell them. Unless, they ask if anything new or something like that. But in my experience, the ones who did ask and I told them, couldnât care less.
I did this. When people struck up conversations with me Iâd tell them I had a baby. But aside from my immediate family and best friends, I didnât tell anyone. Thereâs nothing on my social media either.
I just let it happen in conversation naturally.
>what have you been up to?
>had a baby and moved to the Middle East, you?
i didn't tell most ppl i know either. i remember a convo i had with one of my closest friends abt 2 months after i became a mother who was talking abt how fast time is zooming by and that her cousin has a whole BABY and i replied with "oh yeah,,,,,,me too" she was like WHAT. it was a hilarious convo i told her "I FORGOT" and she was like im never letting u forget that u didnt tell me u had a baby for APPROXIMATELY SEVERAL MONTHS. she was v good natured abt it.
i told one friend through text on the morning i was to have my c section done. she hosted a high school get together abt 9-10 months later and i asked if i could bring my kid along and she gave an enthusiastic yes. my classmates from abt a decade ago cooed at the baby and loved her sm and THEN my friend told em "no this isnt my niece this is [my name]'s baby" they were GOBSMACKED đ
I told another v good friend a few weeks into my pregnancy and i felt vvv awkward anw bc it just doesn't seem like the thing i might go around announcing "oh btw i got knocked up and now im preggers" haha,,
i was so uncomfy in fact i didnt even bring it up with my own sister, who knows me molecule by molecule, until more than a week after i found out im pregnant, but she'd already known from my mother who found out from my HUSBAND. i was of the opinion "nooooo dont tell anyone they'll find out 9 months later when i pop it out anw". she'd been beyond worried i hadn't mentioned it yet she thought she'd done something to make me distrust her or sth. i asked my mom not to tell anyone but after she got off the call with me she ran to my sleeping sister's room, covered up her mouth so she wouldn't yell and woke her up with "UR SISTER'S PREGNANT"
there's still a few ppl that don't know abt 2 years later but ig they'll know when they'll know haha
I was kind of in this position when I had my baby. It was people who I would text here and there and we would keep up with each other on social media. I think what I did was just kind of text them out of the blue and see how they were doing and then just let them know.
I didnât announce my pregnancy on social media so some people who I obviously wasnât close to found out with everyone else lol
I didnât say anything and just showed up with the baby places. I found that to be the most entertaining way to deal with it and they couldnât even be mad because cute baby. đ
I told very few people outside of family. We weren't chatting so no big deal on my part! Same with my engagement AND wedding đ€· i put up a a 'close friends' post on insta when I felt like it after the fact. The irony of it being called close friends when they're obviously not all that close! But I included people I'd feel weird meeting in the shop with a baby without them knowing she existed.
I had to do this because I kept my second pregnancy off social media. I have some friends that Iâve been friends with since we were like 7 years old, but due to life and careers and living states apart, we donât talk super often anymore. I basically sent a text with a picture of me and baby in the hospital and said something like âlife update! Husband and I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy private due to [insert prior trauma here]. Weâre pleased to announce Baby arrived this date and both of us are doing wellâ and left it at that. Then made a social media post once we were home saying something similar.
Donât overthink it.
I have a friend who was "outed" as a mother on social media when her daughter was TWO YEARS OLD!
You can do whatever you want. Your true friends will congratulate you.
I just put it on Facebook. Folks who I didnât speak to for 9 months were all âI didnât even know! Why didnât you say something?!â It was pretty perfect.
I announced the birth of my second by explaining that I had a large uterine mass removed, and I would likely be recovering for the next 18-25 years. Then also his name and a cute photo lol
I sent cards to people announcing the birth of my baby. We had a trio of photos and his name, weight, and DoB.
We sent it to the extended family who probably never knew I was pregnant (we didn't really do a big announcement) but we wanted to introduce the new family member.
We told the least number of people possible with both children until they were born, then announced on social media. Got a lot of "OMG I didn't know you were pregnant" but no one seemed offended by that. I had RPL before my first and a lot of sketchy prenatal diagnoses with my second (who's totally fine) and I was really afraid of having to UNtell people.
I made a social media post that said something along the lines of âI kept meaning to post here about xyz things going on in my life, but life kept getting away from me. Anyway, so I had a baby.â
I totally understand and have done the same. I didnât share my pregnancy with many until 30+ weeks due to previous losses. I also live in another country and donât post anything on social media, so Iâm generally pretty private. Some people I never told until after I had my baby, some still have no clue! For those that Iâm telling now, I am just sending msgs that start with, âIâve got some big newsâŠâ I think everyone has been surprised and genuinely happy. No need to give further explanations!
One friend I hadn't talked to for 2 years suddenly messaged me one day pp and asked me what I'm up to. I replied with an image of my new baby đ . The rest of them got to know on Facebook. I just hadn't had the energy to deal with people for 8 months and had to rip the band-aid off eventually
Ha, this happened with a friend of mine because I got rid of my social media and that was how we sort of kept in touch. After a while she texted me and asked how I was doing, so I replied and ended with "Oh and y'know, the usual crafting projects when I have the time. This one took me forever!" And sent her a pic of my baby đ
I did no pregnancy announcement and only told the few friends I invited to my baby shower.
I posted a birth announcement about a week after he was born.
I think the phrase a used was âIf youâve seen us in real life then you knew this was coming⊠but here he is!â
Someone I knew just posted a pic of her and her baby. She didnât tell anyone except close family. Just say surprise! Donât worry about it if these people werenât talking to you regularly you donât need to feel bad about it.
So this was me, but I intentionally hid my pregnancy from many people because I have health anxiety and I was worried about something happening to the baby. Luckily it all worked out for me. Youâll be fine, if theyâre good friends, theyâll be happy for you.
I didn't do cute or funny. I disappeared for a few months and reappeared with a baby. So yeah, it's kinda funny at times when someone who hasn't seen me in a year sees me with a 5 month old baby. Plenty of people didn't know I was pregnant including coworkers and clients. It is what it is. I've had friends pop back into my life with kids and it wasn't awkward.
When my friend (more of a close acquaintance) told me she had a baby I was surprised but laughed and was happy for her. she moved and we arent close anymore so I didnt feel entitled to know. If a FRIEND told me this way, I would assume we are not friends anymore.
Both of my last 2 babies, I only told my very close friends and family, and I put nothing on social media until they were actually born. I never felt awkward about it. It is kind of fun to surprise a bunch of people with a whole baby.
I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until the 3rd trimester and then it was during random meet ups or convos. If they're not people you thought to tell before then maybe you don't really have to tell them intentionally
Send a picture and be like 'look what popped out of my crotch!'
If these friends of yours don't appreciate that type of humor and then just send a picture and be like 'surprise! I had a baby!'
No way to tell them other than just telling them lol
(Edit: when I say send a picture, I mean of the new baby.)
Agree with everyone else you are going to offend these people if they are friends of yours, who wants a surprise I had a baby text from a so called friend who never told you they were pregnant all of the nine months.Â
I donât think thereâs a way to reduce the awkward, it feels weird because it is weird.
If I had a friend that Iâd spoken to multiple times while pregnant tell me theyâd had a baby after they had the baby, Iâd congratulate and ghost because that exceeds my weird tolerance threshold lol
This is just strange. Sorry. I waited 5 months to tell my friends because I had many losses. If theyâre your âfriendsâ you should be excited. You kind of screwed up dude. Iâd be upset if a friend did this to me. Not the answer you wanted. Rip the bandaid off and send a picture and say you had a baby and kept it secret from everyone I guess?
Iâve gone a few months without talking to friends.
But when we were expecting, all my friends were texted/called.
If it was someone that Iâm not close with but know from our circle, when we connect and ask âwhatâs new?â or whatever I would say âwe had a baby!â.
I donât see why a random announcement to a friend about a pregnancy was a no-go but a random announcement for a baby is a go.
Itâs not that it âdidnât come upâ, itâs that you CHOSE not to disclose it. It was your prerogative not to mention it, but that was still an active decision you made, possibly because you arenât that close or you were trying to avoid an awkward situation. Though now itâs definitely a lot more awkward. You might need to apologize or explain to them why you didnât deign to let them in on such a major milestone in your life. If they're more casual friends you could be lighthearted about it and try to reassure them you simply didnât want to make a big deal about it, but if they are close friends you may need to have a heart to heart as to why you didnât tell them before, donât spring it on them without explanation or they could feel hurt
I sent a mass text of me holding the baby and said "Life got crazy. I had a baby."
I did the same including reassurance to my friends that the baby was not stolen and in fact mine since I had been so uninterested in having a baby for so long. It was actually kinda fun to pull a baby out of a hat. đ© Behold!
Tell them you got into âbody buildingâ since you last saw them đ
đ€Łđ€Ł My husband used this line to tell his friends that I was expecting. "She's into body building now!" Got some good chuckles out of it.
Just got a big lump removed at the hospital, the doctors even let me keep it!
Winner
Hahaha I did this with my first baby. I was very very private about it because I just wanted to be I guess. I made a few people mad when they found out but once they understood that I didnât exclude them from a baby shower etc, I just didnât DO any of that they were fine with it and wanted to see pictures, lol.
I did a "lol surprise" post on socials for friends and acquaintances when I had my kid. It was the height of the pandemic and I saw no one and then it was third trimester aaaaand well it was funnier to just wait till kiddo was exterior to tell people. Tl;dr embrace the awkward. It's funny.
This is my angle this time. No pandemic, just a plain awkward person getting awkwarder with old age.
Send them a text with the baby and something along the lines ofâŠâsurprise, we added a new friend to the group!â
You're obviously not close to these people so why even expend energy on this?
That's what I'm confused on. OP didn't talk to them for 9 months.. why worry about it? If it's one of those friendships you just pick up where you left off even after a long time, then just say how it you would say anything else like a new job.
I think she only said she didn't see them in person for those months
Which makes it really weird if sheâs been talking to them and didnât mention it. Clearly they arenât actually friends.
Idk man if she considers them/wants to call them friends that's fine, she's just asking for fun ways to tell them
Agree. If I were on the receiving end of a random text of a baby from a supposed friend Iâd be a little confused. And slightly annoyed. If OPâs friends reached out first, Iâd say sorry I didnât tell you earlier but I just welcomed a baby. But after 9 months of I assume no or limited contacted I donât get the point. Maybe doing a general Facebook post if OP has Facebook is the best approach here.
Thatâs not a correct assumption. I did talk to these people, it just never really came up I was pregnant. I also avoided telling anyone until like 4-5 months in.
It seems like if you talk to someone regularly without it âcoming upâ to tell them that youâre pregnant (did they never ask âwhatâs new with you?â Or âwhatâs up?â) for 9 months it may not be a very close friend. Or you chose to not tell them when they asked about you and your life, in which case it still seems like you arenât that close. If they ARE close and for whatever reason you just chose to hide your pregnancy from them, then theyâre going to find it weird no matter how you tell them now.
Idk, sometimes at first you want to keep things to yourself and then you get into a bit of a spiral of how to bring it up as the pressure builds and it gets progressively harder/more awkward. Iâve been there. Especially when itâs not a topic you usually talk about.
No not for everyone. I literally was 8 months along before some of the people I worked with in person found out and it wasn't from me telling them (my body didn't show really at all for my first, they just thought I was getting fat thanks to water weight). I also didn't tell my therapist until I was quite far along, she was surprised to say the least (who I found out then happened to specialize in pregnancy and post partum). I think for me it comes from a place of not wanting to seem like a "look at me" kind of person. It was probably a trauma response to the emotions that come with pregnancy too, I mostly avoid strong emotions. I also get that this is not a typical response to pregnancy but it's not uncommon. To the OP I would say maybe just own up to it. "Hey! I wanted to let you know that I just had a baby, they were born at some hospital at a healthy X lbs. I realize I didn't mention it before but I wanted to wait until second trimester and then felt it would be awkward to blurt it out (this is totally my mistake). I apologize and hope you can forgive me. I know this seems sudden, and I didn't mean for it to go to the end like it has."
I feel like saying 'I hope you can forgive me' seems a bit much. Why should OP apologise for not sharing her personal news? Did the friends ask if anything was new and she actively hid it? It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like it didn't come up on either end, so I don't think OP owes an apology. It's no one's right to know this kind of news.
That's a fair point.
Since it never came up so you didnât mention it, why arenât you waiting for the topic to just come up now? Why the sudden urge to announce this part? I agree with the other commentor that itâs a bit offensive if these people are considered friends.
I think itâs relevant for people to know I have a child and Iâd rather be the one to tell them myself rather than them find out from someone else.
I also never announced publicly anywhere and there was a handful of people that I didnât directly tell (I live far from home). But at the same time I do think it is awkward to send a âsurprise I had a babyâ text out of the blue, especially if youâve seen these people while pregnant. I tried to deal with it more organically by letting word of mouth spread and if I happened to be chatting to that person I would let them know then.
You didnât seem to care if they found out you were pregnant from someone else.
Then you should have told them sooner. Is it because you want gifts or something? You didn't care before the baby was born, why do you care now?
I get where sheâs coming from. The child wasnât there physically so she didnât feel the need to mention it, and now the child is here and she probably feels like they deserve the respect of being known about now that theyâre earth side? đ€š OP, this was me. People will be excited and surprised when you mention it.
Yeah it was me too! I felt like I didnât owe anyone disclosure of this bit of information unless I wanted to tell them.
You don't owe anyone anything, but that doesn't mean they won't be hurt and potentially think you're not as close as they might have thought.
Exactly! I was focused on growing a human and getting the house ready. I didnât want anyone making a fuss or trying to throw a baby shower. Iâm very introverted. Plus with adult friendships it is so common to go months without seeing or speaking to each other so sometimes you just have big news to tell people. I think with social media people are just used to having access to each otherâs personal lives so they see it as odd when you choose not to share something until youâre ready. Iâve also gotten texts from friends I hadnât seen in awhile before being like â Hey look I had a baby!!â And I was super excited and surprised for them. It didnât occur to me to be like â how dare they wait to tell me!â It wasnât about me.
No I donât want gifts. Iâm not sure why youâre so triggered by this.
No one is triggered. Theyâre being honest that it would be rather offensive. Sorry that the truth triggers you so much.
Because I commented on your post? Why did you post it if you didn't want responses?
The same thing happened to me too OP. Now Iâm 6 mo pp and STILL havenât told some people. I was so venerable being preg that I didnât want to tell everyone. Now that my hormones are evening out I think about posting my preg photos and maybe a birth announcement to get it out the way but it never feels like the right time. Idk. Iâm with you.
It just never came up. No, you chose not to tell them. You made that decision, so deal with it. You're going to offend people.
Itâs so confusing. Was OP waiting for someone to ask âanything new with your uterus?â
Iâd definitely be hurt if someone I was supposed to be friends with, who Iâve repeatedly talked to multiple times in the last 9 months, just never told me about a huge thing going on in their life like that.
And with all the posts here about being offended by being asked if they're pregnant when they're trying or even not trying... Obviously nobody would ask that but she's blaming them for not asking?
I had similar people, just send a cute pic, "guess who's here!" People I am actually close with responded great. One that is always a bit weird...was weird lol. Honestly though, if baby is only 2 weeks old your emotions are probably high, don't stress, reach out when appropriateÂ
Hey, I havenât seen youâŠand this is crazy, but hereâs my number, I had a baby?
Just send a photo of baby and say âsay hi to, itâs been a busy year. Whatâs new with you?â
So I told very few people I was pregnant. After I gave birth I posted a picture of my daughter with a caption âphew that was hard work.â Everyone was shocked but it was a good way to get the news out to people I didnât tell.
I had a friend who I had drifted away from over a year or so and she texted one day âsoâŠI recently became a mom!â It was kind of a joke because when she got engaged she showed up to brunch and showed us our ring and said âsoâŠI recently became engagedâ I was 7 months pregnant at the time and hadnât told her either (she had a miscarriage and then had trouble conceiving after so I felt weird dropping the bomb since we hadnât talked much or seen each other in a year). I was overjoyed and got to send a pic back saying I had a friend coming for her baby in a few months. Weâve now texted each other pictures every so often. Iâd say just rip the band aid off and send a pic!
This is adorable đ„č
The only people we've told are people we've seen in person. Plan on posting a photo when he's born. I'd love to get one of my eldest and baby snuggling but I'm not sure he'd sit still lol
I did this. Nothing on social media and then suddenly "Oh btw I had a baby".
Did this too except I didnât specifically point out the baby and just said merry Christmas from the __ family, with a pic of all of us but baby was really tiny. We were all wearing matching jammies and she blended right in so it was like a Whereâs Waldo. đ A couple people went, âwait, are you holding a real baby?? lol
This is what Facebook announcements are for. Lol
Hey OP! Iâve been there and I understand how news like that can become a spiral of awkwardness. Iâm really glad youâre looking for a way to confront it head-on instead of cut ties or sidestep with some sort of general announcement. I would say something along the lines of: >âHi friend! I wanted to share some important news with you. Iâve been anticipating it for a really long time, but I didnât tell anyone at the beginning and wasnât sure how to share the news later.â >*âWhat is it?â* >âIâve been pregnant and two weeks ago I gave birth to a baby girl/boy.â Hopefully your friend is empathetic and will excited for you :) I think being honest about any awkwardness or anxiety you felt trying to break the news will help them understand that **you did care about telling them**, but your brain got in the way.
I really like this suggestion!! Thank you so much
Iâm glad I could help!
I'd make a joke like hey I had a medical condition where I grew some extra limbs and then send a pic of the baby lolÂ
As others have said, if you haven't seen them for over 9 months how close are you as friends? It's announce it on social media. FYI I hid my last pregnancy from everyone including parents because I'd had many previous losses. I just stayed at home for 9 months. On the day of his birth we called the grandparents and told them, they then announced to the extended family. I made a comment on a Facebook group two weeks later and didn't realise my 'friends' would see the comment on their newsfeed. Suddenly I received multiple screenshots from my work colleagues who I hadn't seen and they didn't know about the pregnancy, so that was my announcement.
Some of these people do not live anywhere near me which is why I havenât seen them. Itâs normal to not see friends who live in different parts of the country/world for 9 months. One of my close friends who I did not tell was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and then found out she was infertile in her mid-20s; she was absolutely devastated by this news so I had trouble telling her I was pregnant bc I didnât want her to think I was rubbing it in or anything like that. I did want to find a way to tell her, and made multiple efforts to get her on the phone toward the end of my pregnancy to tell her, but we just kept missing each otherâs calls.
Just be truthful and say exactly this. Tell her first then do a joke for the rest of you feel like. I also held my pregnancy back a long time because I was scared in case it went wrong and had a lot of anxiety about it. I'd go the emotional route as people will understand and not feel like you were being facetious.
This friend I think you need to be really honest with. Itâs a super delicate situation and truthfully I think she will be a bit hurt because you hid it. My good friend was also in the throes of infertility when I was pregnant and believe me I wanted to do the same and not say anything. So this friend in particularly I would take a dedicated bit of space and be really humble with.
Normal not to see them, but we live in a society where you can easily ask thousands of strangers online how to approach your dilemma, yet you couldnât easily text them you were pregnant. đ€·đ»ââïž Just tell them you have a kid. If you didnât make a big deal out of it then, why should you now.
This pregnancy only told those closest to us, then after baby was a week old posted a picture on social media announcing his birth. So many were shocked, it was fun đ
I just texted people a pic and said "here's Baby2!" I didn't do a social media announcement that I was pregnant with either, but I told close friends and family with #1. I discovered then that I hate telling people I'm pregnant, soooo I didn't tell most people with #2.Â
My acquaintance did a video where you saw her first two kids playing in a rotating recliner and when the chair turned another time you saw the baby being held by the older siblings. Super cute. Honestly though, it was just jarring that they didnât feel the need to tell all of us. Like these are not close friends but weâve spent lots of time together over the years and it was a little bit of a slap in the face that they told some people but not all people (which they made clear in their follow up comments). I donât feel I have the right to be offended (and I would never say anything negative about it to them of course) but it was an odd feeling and I want you to be mentally prepared that people might feel some type of way!
If you have all of these friends on social media I would just do a generic post about âsuprise, I had a babyâ That way when there is an emotional bomb drop, Itâs not directly at you. Hopefully they will all be level headed by the time they reach out to you.
I âsurprise I have a babyâd everyone with my second. I hid it for fun. Whatâs funny to me is that I went to a friends engagement party 22 weeks pregnant and even managed to have no one notice there. My first was a Covid baby so similarly, the only reason anyone knew is because my mom tagged me in a Facebook post excited to be a first time grandma. I think at this stage in life if you donât see people often thereâs the expectation that life milestones happen without them there. So just bringing it up when asked whatâs new is usually acceptable to people
I just sent them a picture of my baby with no context and my husband posted on fb. The only people who knew I was pregnant were close family and people who saw me in the last 4 months of pregnancy when I started to look pregnant.
âLook what I made!â was my go-to. đ
Just do a newborn shoot on your own or professional and put up pretty pictures announcing the arrival of your Little one on face, Instagram and WhatsApp status đđ± no need to overthink.
My wife and I didn't tell anyone she was preg for the first 7 months and after that only our parents knew. It was super fun video calling are friends and just be holding a new born
âWe havenât talked in a good while but hereâs what Iâve been doing (insert picture of baby.â
I would go humorous: Look at this cool thing I made!
"Hey dudes and ladies, I just popped out a pup!"
I donât tell them. Unless, they ask if anything new or something like that. But in my experience, the ones who did ask and I told them, couldnât care less.
Yeah you just gotta get over the awkwardness and do it. Or say "I have a surprise announcement, folks"
I did this. When people struck up conversations with me Iâd tell them I had a baby. But aside from my immediate family and best friends, I didnât tell anyone. Thereâs nothing on my social media either. I just let it happen in conversation naturally. >what have you been up to? >had a baby and moved to the Middle East, you?
i didn't tell most ppl i know either. i remember a convo i had with one of my closest friends abt 2 months after i became a mother who was talking abt how fast time is zooming by and that her cousin has a whole BABY and i replied with "oh yeah,,,,,,me too" she was like WHAT. it was a hilarious convo i told her "I FORGOT" and she was like im never letting u forget that u didnt tell me u had a baby for APPROXIMATELY SEVERAL MONTHS. she was v good natured abt it. i told one friend through text on the morning i was to have my c section done. she hosted a high school get together abt 9-10 months later and i asked if i could bring my kid along and she gave an enthusiastic yes. my classmates from abt a decade ago cooed at the baby and loved her sm and THEN my friend told em "no this isnt my niece this is [my name]'s baby" they were GOBSMACKED đ I told another v good friend a few weeks into my pregnancy and i felt vvv awkward anw bc it just doesn't seem like the thing i might go around announcing "oh btw i got knocked up and now im preggers" haha,, i was so uncomfy in fact i didnt even bring it up with my own sister, who knows me molecule by molecule, until more than a week after i found out im pregnant, but she'd already known from my mother who found out from my HUSBAND. i was of the opinion "nooooo dont tell anyone they'll find out 9 months later when i pop it out anw". she'd been beyond worried i hadn't mentioned it yet she thought she'd done something to make me distrust her or sth. i asked my mom not to tell anyone but after she got off the call with me she ran to my sleeping sister's room, covered up her mouth so she wouldn't yell and woke her up with "UR SISTER'S PREGNANT" there's still a few ppl that don't know abt 2 years later but ig they'll know when they'll know haha
I was kind of in this position when I had my baby. It was people who I would text here and there and we would keep up with each other on social media. I think what I did was just kind of text them out of the blue and see how they were doing and then just let them know. I didnât announce my pregnancy on social media so some people who I obviously wasnât close to found out with everyone else lol
I didnât say anything and just showed up with the baby places. I found that to be the most entertaining way to deal with it and they couldnât even be mad because cute baby. đ
I told very few people outside of family. We weren't chatting so no big deal on my part! Same with my engagement AND wedding đ€· i put up a a 'close friends' post on insta when I felt like it after the fact. The irony of it being called close friends when they're obviously not all that close! But I included people I'd feel weird meeting in the shop with a baby without them knowing she existed.
I had to do this because I kept my second pregnancy off social media. I have some friends that Iâve been friends with since we were like 7 years old, but due to life and careers and living states apart, we donât talk super often anymore. I basically sent a text with a picture of me and baby in the hospital and said something like âlife update! Husband and I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy private due to [insert prior trauma here]. Weâre pleased to announce Baby arrived this date and both of us are doing wellâ and left it at that. Then made a social media post once we were home saying something similar. Donât overthink it.
I have a friend who was "outed" as a mother on social media when her daughter was TWO YEARS OLD! You can do whatever you want. Your true friends will congratulate you.
Until I read your expanded post, my first thought was âsurprise! I had a baby!â đ I guess Iâm just awkward like that. đ€·đ»ââïž
I just put it on Facebook. Folks who I didnât speak to for 9 months were all âI didnât even know! Why didnât you say something?!â It was pretty perfect.
Instagram postÂ
I announced the birth of my second by explaining that I had a large uterine mass removed, and I would likely be recovering for the next 18-25 years. Then also his name and a cute photo lol
I sent cards to people announcing the birth of my baby. We had a trio of photos and his name, weight, and DoB. We sent it to the extended family who probably never knew I was pregnant (we didn't really do a big announcement) but we wanted to introduce the new family member.
We told the least number of people possible with both children until they were born, then announced on social media. Got a lot of "OMG I didn't know you were pregnant" but no one seemed offended by that. I had RPL before my first and a lot of sketchy prenatal diagnoses with my second (who's totally fine) and I was really afraid of having to UNtell people.
I made a social media post that said something along the lines of âI kept meaning to post here about xyz things going on in my life, but life kept getting away from me. Anyway, so I had a baby.â
I totally understand and have done the same. I didnât share my pregnancy with many until 30+ weeks due to previous losses. I also live in another country and donât post anything on social media, so Iâm generally pretty private. Some people I never told until after I had my baby, some still have no clue! For those that Iâm telling now, I am just sending msgs that start with, âIâve got some big newsâŠâ I think everyone has been surprised and genuinely happy. No need to give further explanations!
One friend I hadn't talked to for 2 years suddenly messaged me one day pp and asked me what I'm up to. I replied with an image of my new baby đ . The rest of them got to know on Facebook. I just hadn't had the energy to deal with people for 8 months and had to rip the band-aid off eventually
My friend was in the same situation, she ended up sending a text that said âbtw meet *name*â
Birth announcement
Ha, this happened with a friend of mine because I got rid of my social media and that was how we sort of kept in touch. After a while she texted me and asked how I was doing, so I replied and ended with "Oh and y'know, the usual crafting projects when I have the time. This one took me forever!" And sent her a pic of my baby đ
I did no pregnancy announcement and only told the few friends I invited to my baby shower. I posted a birth announcement about a week after he was born. I think the phrase a used was âIf youâve seen us in real life then you knew this was coming⊠but here he is!â
Someone I knew just posted a pic of her and her baby. She didnât tell anyone except close family. Just say surprise! Donât worry about it if these people werenât talking to you regularly you donât need to feel bad about it.
So this was me, but I intentionally hid my pregnancy from many people because I have health anxiety and I was worried about something happening to the baby. Luckily it all worked out for me. Youâll be fine, if theyâre good friends, theyâll be happy for you.
I didn't do cute or funny. I disappeared for a few months and reappeared with a baby. So yeah, it's kinda funny at times when someone who hasn't seen me in a year sees me with a 5 month old baby. Plenty of people didn't know I was pregnant including coworkers and clients. It is what it is. I've had friends pop back into my life with kids and it wasn't awkward.
When my friend (more of a close acquaintance) told me she had a baby I was surprised but laughed and was happy for her. she moved and we arent close anymore so I didnt feel entitled to know. If a FRIEND told me this way, I would assume we are not friends anymore.
Both of my last 2 babies, I only told my very close friends and family, and I put nothing on social media until they were actually born. I never felt awkward about it. It is kind of fun to surprise a bunch of people with a whole baby.
âLook what I madeâ *holds up baby*
I just stuck a photo of him on my instagram haha
I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until the 3rd trimester and then it was during random meet ups or convos. If they're not people you thought to tell before then maybe you don't really have to tell them intentionally
Are they even your friends if you havenât seen or spoken to them in 9 months?
Send a picture and be like 'look what popped out of my crotch!' If these friends of yours don't appreciate that type of humor and then just send a picture and be like 'surprise! I had a baby!' No way to tell them other than just telling them lol (Edit: when I say send a picture, I mean of the new baby.)
Thanks for clarifying. In hindsight I did get a mixed reaction when I announced the birth of my child with a postpartum crotch pic!
đ€Ł Gotta make sure no one else makes that same mistake.
Right?! đđ
Agree with everyone else you are going to offend these people if they are friends of yours, who wants a surprise I had a baby text from a so called friend who never told you they were pregnant all of the nine months.Â
I donât think thereâs a way to reduce the awkward, it feels weird because it is weird. If I had a friend that Iâd spoken to multiple times while pregnant tell me theyâd had a baby after they had the baby, Iâd congratulate and ghost because that exceeds my weird tolerance threshold lol
This is just strange. Sorry. I waited 5 months to tell my friends because I had many losses. If theyâre your âfriendsâ you should be excited. You kind of screwed up dude. Iâd be upset if a friend did this to me. Not the answer you wanted. Rip the bandaid off and send a picture and say you had a baby and kept it secret from everyone I guess?
you didnât talk to them for 9 monthsâŠthey arenât friends
Untrue..it you ever had life long friends you can easily go months on end without talking and pick things up where they last left off
Iâve gone a few months without talking to friends. But when we were expecting, all my friends were texted/called. If it was someone that Iâm not close with but know from our circle, when we connect and ask âwhatâs new?â or whatever I would say âwe had a baby!â. I donât see why a random announcement to a friend about a pregnancy was a no-go but a random announcement for a baby is a go.
Totally agreed. There's a lot of never-went-to-summer-camp energy in this thread.Â
To a point where you wouldnât tell them you were pregnant? Nah
You are wrong in assuming I didnât talk to them. I did. It just did not come up that I was pregnant.
Why would it come up if they didn't know? You're the one that would have had to bring it up. Own your choices.
Itâs not that it âdidnât come upâ, itâs that you CHOSE not to disclose it. It was your prerogative not to mention it, but that was still an active decision you made, possibly because you arenât that close or you were trying to avoid an awkward situation. Though now itâs definitely a lot more awkward. You might need to apologize or explain to them why you didnât deign to let them in on such a major milestone in your life. If they're more casual friends you could be lighthearted about it and try to reassure them you simply didnât want to make a big deal about it, but if they are close friends you may need to have a heart to heart as to why you didnât tell them before, donât spring it on them without explanation or they could feel hurt
so you chose not to tell them about a huge life event. still donât sound much like friends
âI had a babyâ