Agreed! Sometimes I find myself clicking on those videos when I’m bored out of fascination and then my instagram feed ends up flooded with tons of awful mom content. Some of that shit is super weird.
You can really tell which people actually hate being a mom, or have unsupportive husband's, or at their breaking point when they share all the unhinged mom-humor posts. You're really not selling this for me lol
My former (got older, grew apart) best friend’s sister is one of these mom accounts on IG, she’s like 35, and has I think 4-5 kids under 10 IIRC. I watched one of her videos just out of curiosity, and she was showing off some pretty blah clothes she bought at target, and the background of her house was like “live laugh love god blessed” type decor. Ugh.
Couldn’t agree more and I’d expand on that to the idea of sharing in general, like I love my Apple Technology and frankly I don’t want to share it, it’s expensive and the idea of just casually handing over my iPhone to get gnawed on by a toddler just yuck 🤮 or to give a kid my iPad only for them to smash the screen just no, so much no. My tech is all in perfect condition and I intend on keeping it that way, no kids is a necessity in that goal
I think this for me above all else. I’m going to receive gorgeous antique pieces and china sets from my grandmothers when they pass away (as well as oil paintings my great great grandma did years ago) and I refuse to let those become damaged by some fuckling.
Even if I liked kids, I would never have my own, because my expectations on them would be *insane*. I'd have a clear image of exactly how I'd want them to turn out in terms of everything from appearance to personality, achievements etc., I'd be completely distraught if they didn't, and I'm very obviously aware of just how abusive all of that would be.
This is also already so much more common among parents than people seem to realise. Mothers who freak the fuck out over not getting grandkids is a relevant example, but you also see this with the countless parents who get upset even when their adult kids doesn't choose their preferred hobbies, profession, romantic partner, home decoration, clothing style, or whatever else they feel entitled to control. So many parents live vicariously through their kids, and I'm glad I'm self-aware enough to stay away from that toxic shit.
This is a big one. I didn't have a terrible childhood or anything, I just never really liked being a kid. I just wanted to be my own boss, and now that I am, I don't want to be completely responsible for anyone else.
This is a biggie for me. I spend all day doing kids activities for a paycheck. Nobody is paying me to watch a soccer game or help Bobby with his math homework.
To add to this, I'm also afraid that I'd have to listen or watch something a billion times over and over again like I did to my folks when I was a kid.
My mom banned a couple of cartoons from our house growing up purely because the voices annoyed her. I remember Rugrats and SpongeBob being two of the most contentious.
One time in college, I was making lunch and my roommate was watching some cartoons in the next room and I suddenly completely understood the ban.
I love a lot of "children's media". I'm a big kid myself.
But I'd worry they'd be into really shitty movies and shows. And that those would be on constant repeat.
....bro have you seen in the night garden??
That shit kept me awake at night. What the actual fuck are they!
Who needs horror films when you have shit like that!
One reason I don’t want kids is that I can’t justify necessitating they go to school. A lot of school is unnecessary like 3D trigonometry, or being taught that if you get beat up by bullies you have to get suspended too. Learning a second language you’ll always be crappy at.
And for what? Their generation would have such a hard time buying a house or getting a job that would be replaced. Or getting a degree but unable to even get a decent job.
I could never lie to my kid and tell them it makes sense.
I don’t want to have to navigate all the decisions of parenthood, especially with technology. When do they get a cell phone? How much internet is too much internet? Should they have access to an iPad, especially when all their friends do? We know extensive internet use is bad for young children, but if everyone else is doing it, that makes for a child who can’t connect with their peers on that kind of stuff.
Im a younger millennial and was raised without video games, with limited tv access, limited computer access, and didn’t get a phone until I was 15 (most of my friends had phones in middle school). I felt so left out, but I understand the reasons my parents limited technology so much. It’s such a different world today, and will be even more so in 10 years. The thought of trying to make those decisions honestly gives me anxiety.
Hard agree. Young millennial also, and I had full range of the internet, and at 15 I was meeting older guys off MySpace.. the thought of having a daughter and her doing the same thing terrifies me.
I feel you. I visited a friend and her two kids are already addicted to the smartphone and iPad. They were watching educational content but I'm not sure how much they are absorbing the materials, or how often the mom checks in on her kids to make sure they're watching kid appropriate content. Just thinking about how to restrict content or if I should wait until a child is older but then schools also provides laptops and iPad so it is becoming part of education as well, the kid might feel left out compared to other kids. Just thinking about this is too much for me.
When I was 7, my grandma told me not to whine about cleaning up dog poop because when I became a mommy, I'd be cleaning poop up all day.
100 percent sure that's when I became childfree. Way to snip that branch off the family tree, grandma.
I got a similar comment from an uncle who told me something about "get ready to clean up poop after you have your own kids!" With a smile on his face. All I could do was pull a weak laugh/smile back 😒 Of course, it's the men saying this, even in my own family. They let women do all of the hard work of raising kids.
This is just one of many reasons for me, but I really hate puke (both puking myself and seeing/hearing others puke). I'm somewhere between having a strong aversion and being "mildly" emetophobic. The idea of potentially dealing with morning sickness, getting sick during labor/delivery, and having to clean up after/care for and comfort a small sick child who can't keep their food down really squicks me out.
On a side note though... I do worry about how this might effect a potential future relationship. I genuinely don't know how I'd handle my hypothetical partner being super sick and really needing me by their side for care and just comfort too. I'd like to think I'd just get over myself in that moment for their sake, but I really don't know.
Food. I'm a foodie and I love trying new recipes. I would absolutely lose my shit if I worked so hard for a beautiful meal and little Timmy demands chicken nuggets instead.
I've made risotto a few times (I'm really good at this apparently.) it's literally easier for me to cook than rice on the stove (I use a rice cooker for all other rice needs). It requires standing at the stove for half an hour. I would hate to put in all that work, while wrangling children, just to have to make tator tots or some shit. Like excuse me, this food is amazing and if you don't eat it or if you even dare to complain, you can sleep outside and eat grass you ungrateful bitch. One of many reasons I don't want kids.
Also, I don't want to teach kids stuff. I'm bad at doing things in bits, so youd be seeing me sitting a toddler down "ok today we're going to talk about biological sex, the basics of sexual activity, social concepts of gender, how to avoid getting molested, and how to cross the street. Remember everything I say because I don't want to repeat myself." Gotta repeat yourself so much with kids. I had undiagnosed ADHD as a kid and had to be reminded of stuff constantly and would still forget and get yelled at. I would hate to have to raise another me
>I don't want to teach kids stuff. I'm bad at doing things in bits,
I think this is why I feel an abnormal amount of rage when I have to train new employees.
What do you mean you don't know where the silverware is? I showed you an hour ago!
Like I said ten times already, you need to use the measuring scoop instead of slapping mayo down onto the bread willy nilly.
No, that's the soap side, that's the bleach side. You can tell because (internally beating them to death) the soap side has a soap dispenser above the sink, and the bleach side has a bleach dispenser.
WHY DID YOU TELL THE CUSTOMER WE CAN DO THAT WE CANT FUCKING DO THAT ITS ILLEGAL/AGAINST POLICY/NOT FREE YOU FUCKER
I don't know how to explain to you that if your job requires you to wear gloves to prepare food for people, that it's at the very least common sense NOT TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM WITH YOUR BARE HANDS YOU HEATHEN TROGLODYTE.
Glad to be out of retail/food service. Dangerous idiots out there making your sandwiches.
I enjoy being able to just walk out the door and go places. Kids always make you run late and they have so much junk to haul; stroller, diaper bag, bottles/snacks, toys, playmat, spare clothes, carseat/booster seat etc.
Not for me. Just grab my purse and I'm out the door, on time.
I’m the sleepiest person. Seriously. I wonder if I have some kind of condition but all the tests come back normal. I sleep a lot and when I don’t get all the sleep I need I become cranky. And when I get rudely woken up I can become verbally violent or aggressive, sorry not sorry. Don’t wake the bear. It sounds awful to say but I would definitely allow a baby to continue to cry so I can continue to sleep or I would lock my doors so children can’t come running in in the mornings, or wear noise cancelling headphones to bed. I definitely would not be a good mother, oh well!
The thought of my body literally stretching and my bone marrow being taken to build the parasite in my body. Also i dont want my vagina to rip to my anus. I also hate the thought of something inside me moving and growing. Thats absolutely disgusting
I'm very surprised few have mentioned this. It's almost like women's bodies themselves are divorced from the pregnancy equation. Like the body doesn't get permanently changed. **Permanently.**
LITERALLY!! Also the fact that ive heard of a woman’s nipple falling off, another had the baby laying a certain way on her spine causing temporary PARALYSIS and they couldnt do anything but wait until it moved off her spine. Another’s teeth fell out while pregnant and another went blind which i seen someone else mentioned. Its so many things that can go wrong and people expect me to try?? Bestie i will take myself out if i ever take a pregnancy test and it comes out positive
Because I don’t want to have to pretend to be excited about the structural disaster of a block house you just built, or the shitty drawing of what is supposed to be an owl.
Because I don’t want to watch you do 34 somersaults or a stupid jump spin after you screamed at me to watch.
Because I don’t want to be sick every other week thanks to the Petri dish that is daycare or elementary school.
Because I don’t want my entire life to be run by them and turn into the mombie that a lot of my friends are.
Because I don’t want my house to look like Toys R Us threw up in it 24/7.
Having to make time to hang out with other adults, not cause I actually like them or want them around, but cause they're my kid's friend's parents sounds like some dumb shit. Also, not having to get up early on weekends unless I make plans I decide are worth it.
Edit spelling
I’m in no way, shape, or form prepared for any kind of child. I’m not prepared to devote my life to a severely disabled or handicapped child, and I might could just barely manage with a healthy, functional one.
I have multiple chronic diagnoses with no known cures (or causes) and don’t want to risk passing anything on genetically. I’m also morally opposed to the concept of choosing an embryo based on genetics.
I’m of the opinion that if you’re not prepared for every kind of child, you shouldn’t have a child, because it’s not fair to the child.
This is a really good point. That's such a good measure to gauge one's level of actually wanting children by; the question of are you prepared to care for a child with severe disabilities? I cannot say that I could handle that.
My pettiest and perhaps most unusual reason is I hate carrying around anything. Smallest, most minimal purse possible. I do not want to carry all the unnecessary accessories associated with babies and kids. I don't want to carry the baby or the kid! And I'll be damned if I have to carry some stupid toy they pitched a fit to bring with somewhere only for me to end up carrying it.
Your comment reminded me of a trip I had with my family. My sister was like 4yo and someone taught it would be a GREAT IDEA to give her a plushie duck that went quack quack quack when you pressed its belly. I was stuck in a plane with that child and that god-forsaken duck for 5 hours and I wanted to perforate ny own ear drums
I’m kind of a control freak and a perfectionist so I would lay the life path for my non existent kid and would not let the kid detour… which will torture the kid. So no kids.
I like to smoke weed, and I hate cooking. Just doesn’t seem like a good mom recipe.
I also have a history of fainting, OP. The last time I did, I dislocated my neck requiring emergency surgery, and broke my foot in five places. I get it 🩷
Yes!
I was a very low-demand child, and I never had a problem sharing. The problem was that I had to share everything. My mother loved to self-sacrifice for the extended family, and she often offered us kids, too. I had to share my room because my aunt was visiting. I had to give away my toys because some family needed them more, etc. When I turned into a young adult, I just rebelled against it. Today, I'm very selfish. I'm not moving away to make anyone else comfortable. The only thing that matters is me, myself and I.
So like not to make this dark but I'm afraid I'd turn into my sperm donor (bio dad) who left my mom when I was a baby and didn't come back into our lives until I was almost 6, who then gave up again when I turned 14. I've only seen him twice in the past 15 years and we don't speak with each other ever.
I hate what he did to me but I can't say that I don't fully understand. He was coerced into marrying my mom and I don't think he truly ever wanted kids but was probably also guilted into that by my very Catholic grandparents. And I'd like to think I'm a better person than that but I really just think the only difference between me and him is I made the active decision to never have kids and never let myself be coerced into it.
I love a clean and tidy space. I want my home to be clean and tidy, and I want to clean it when I want to: not whenever the kids would mess it up. I HATE cleaning up after another person. To have to do it every single day, on top of dealing with all the crying and screaming, sounds like my worst possible nightmare.
I also don't like other people invading my personal space, so there's that.
I value my peace and quiet time a lot. Having kids would absolutely destroy that, and I am pretty sure I'll spiral into depression from the burn out and stress.
I am autistic, and being around kids for more than 10 minutes feels like a sensory assault to me. All the screaming and crying and constant chatter and need for attention would drive me crazy.
I have no desire to be responsible for another person 24x7. It's the same reason I don't ever plan to have pets if I am living alone. Some people are just not built for that kind of a life, and it's perfectly okay.
I enjoy my hobbies, and my life in general. Under no circumstances am I willing to give them up for another person.
I work hard to maintain my health and my physique. Pregnancy would totally wreck my body, and assuming I were to survive the horror of childbirth, my body would still never be the same again.
No thank you, I'll pass on that.
I’m fine having cats because they’re mostly very quiet and not needy. I don’t want a dog because I can’t stand barking and they need so much attention it drives me insane.
Ohh that’s a really good one! I would loathe having some strangers kid making me all anxious in my home during my weekend. I also wouldn’t want my kid to have no friends though, so nooo thanks.
I start feeling icky every fall b/c of “back to school season”… I think it’d be a thousand times worse if I were responsible for taking a tiny human to school every day
pregnancy can cause changes in brain chemistry and there's a potential to suddenly hate your pets and view them as threats. No way am I risking my love for my animals over something I'd literally rather die than endure
Yeah I didn't know it was a thing either until I saw it on this sub a few years back and um... If I didn't want them before I sure as hell don't want them now.
Because I don't think I'm a good person.
FWIW, I am a much better individual than I was 3 years ago. My past is riddled with sexual abuse, self-harm/eating disorder, drinking, and LOTS of fighting. I made a lot of horrible fucking decisions; that's the gist of it.
I have made great efforts in my recovery. And, I truly believe that I will be okay in the end. Somehow.
But I cannot fathom a life where I bring a child into this world, knowing what the ugliest side of me looks like. My actions have affected lives; I know this. I have no right to bring something into this world that I would just end up fucking over. I wouldn't be a fit mother because of this mindset alone. I accept it. I know what I am doing now is right.
I ended up having a bisalp 2 years ago. I do not regret my decision.
I'm a teacher. I can only deal with children for so long, and they have to be other people's. If I had to come home and take care of more children, I would feel like I never left work and probably have a full psychotic break. I love being a teacher and NEVER want to be a Mom.
I'm a total night owl, I love staying up late at night (...or early in the morning) and sleeping late. I would absolutely hate having to adjust to a "normal" sleeping schedule, I am not getting up at 6:30 to get a kid ready for school. Sounds miserable
I want to keep the body I was born with. I want my bones & organs & soft tissue intact, not having stretched, shifted around, strained, & damaged. I don't want permanent changes I could have prevented from happening, beyond aging, accidents, illness, surgeries, all that.
This is just ONE reason among countless, but it's been in my top five since I was a child myself. I just.... want my body the way it is, the body I got born in. It's *mine,* & I want it to just.... be, unaccosted. I keep coming back to the word **intact.**
Pregnant women make me feel sick. The way their body stretches and bloats itself looks like something out of a body horror film. I know I don't need to get pregnant to have kids but I'd be more likely to see pregnant women if I were to have them, as I'd have to take my child to school, where they are more likely to be.
This one is a little more serious but I worked in an inpatient rehab center for people with serious mental illness and addictions. Probably, at least a 3rd of my patients eventually died from overdose. Most of them in their 20s. I went to funerals and held parents as they sobbed. Told them they did everything right and it happened anyway.
These parents slept with the phone under their pillow, and never slept well. There was really a moment of piece in that situation. To have a child that grows up to have a severe and chronic illness, including psychiatric illnesses/addictions, I genuinely cannot imagine how I would cope. Unless someone could guarantee me that I wouldn’t be in that position- which is impossible- I’d I would not roll the dice. I’m anxious enough as it is.
I have emetophobia and an extremely strong gag reflex regarding bad smells in general, so if i was changing a nappy or the baby vomited, i would vomit back up all over the baby (has happened before with someone else’s baby… poor guy). Also i swear a lot and like to have inappropriate posters, books, movies and music playing loudly which you can’t really do as much once the kid is old enough to be conscious.
taking the kid to and from school. TWICE A DAY?!?!? what with? these tiny things which walk at the pace of snails? or worse waste that much petrol every day...no thanks
I like being a freak, and I don't want to stifle my self-expression or censor myself because children are present. Also, I'm an artist, and I devote lots of my time to my creative pursuits. I would neglect a child in the sense that I am time selfish. A child needs a present parent who wants them and has time for them, period. That's not me. I would never kid myself into thinking otherwise.
I will get bashed for this, but hey it is the truth.
I was asked to be the adult before I was ready. No eight year old should be charged with looking after his own father and his younger brother.
I don't remember my father before he went to the Vietnam War. He died as far as I am concerned. What they sent back was no "man", and no "father" by any measure.
I managed, but I was burned out by the time I was 15. When I learned what a vasectomy was, I knew I wanted one some day. I got it!
I was from a poor family, so my only hope was to enlist in the military. So I did, and so I was sent to the Middle East.
I saw things I will never un-see. \[pause\] Humans suck! This world does not need more!
I might have a kid if I could choose the gender. I think I’d hate my life if I had a boy. Which isn’t fair to any kid so that is one of my reasons for not reproducing, among a plethora of other reasons.
I like this one! There are so many of those parents who just keep having babies until they finally get their precious girl (or boy, if that’s what they’re after). They end up with like 5+ kids all for the sake of having that one baby of a specific sex!
Yes! One of the reasons I’m not having kids is BECAUSE I really want a daughter. If I had a son I would want to abort it, as bad as that sounds, but I’m not taking chances.
I realized I probably shouldn’t have a kid also because I would prefer a girl. In fact, any time I imagined being a parent it was always with a daughter so I would probs end up with a boy and like idk not be a great involved mom lol
My brother has two small kids, one is a baby, and the entire family has some sort of terrible plague right now that sounds soooo incredibly miserable. My brother has blisters on the inside of his nose and mouth!! On top of regular flu symptoms. The baby and his wife also have it. It sounds like pure hell.
I think I would emotionally abuse a child. Not on purpose, but like I just imagine myself totally overstimulated by a screaming baby and having a mental breakdown where I either seal it alone in a room unattended just to escape it or I start yelling at it to shut up. My mental health can't handle kids, I have way too many unresolved issues of my own.
I *hated* school, and I don't want to have to deal it with again in any capacity--I did my time. If I had a kid, I'd have to enroll it, buy it school clothes and supplies, go to parent teacher shit, band shit, assemblies, bullshit second grade "graduations", and probably have to taxi the thing to and from every day. No. Fucking. Thanks.
Also, I hated being told what do and feeling powerless as a kid, and I'd have to be in the "bossy" role. I'd have to argue with a kid about why they need to brush teeth, bathe, go to bed or get up at certain times, and why they need to go to school. I am not a patient person, and that shit would get old *super quick*. I'm not cut out for any of it.
I have a phobia of pregnancy. The way the stomach gets stretched and distorted, the way their bellybutton gets pushed out while pregnant, the tension of the skin..... it's all deeply disturbing to me.
And that's not even getting into the internal nightmare and risks.
It's to the point where, anymore, I say I'd have kids if I could be the dad. Which, while not entirely impossible with science, would be entirely too much money and effort to be worth it for something I don't feel strongly about wanting.
Contagious diseases.
One of the most wonderful things about my feline children, is that transmitting diseases between species is hard to do.
Just the thought of having to hands on care for a person knowing they'll 100% give me whatever they have is nightmare fuel.
Because I would have to start wearing a bra around the house (or rather, I wouldn't feel comfortable being braless around family besides my husband). Obviously this isn't the main reason, but it is something I've thought about a lot
If my child wasn't exactly how I want them (quiet, calm) and was instead the type to run around screaming all day, I'd certainly become a version of myself that I wouldn't be proud of. I cannot handle that sort of behavior, and so I won't put myself in a situation where it's likely. (Because get real, most children are not the quiet and calm type.)
Sensory overload. They just never stop making noise, smells, mess. They fill your home with gaudy bright colors- which also make a mess. And apparently they never stop touching you- leaving many women "touched out" by the time they would otherwise experience sexual intimacy with their partner. To compound the issue you don't get refreshing sleep for years/decades, and your social circles quickly become limited to other local people going through the same thing, rather than people you would otherwise naturally get on well with. Your only break is your job- which is labor, not rest- and if you're a woman you'll be pressured to leave/minimize your participation in the paid workforce anyway.
I think some people must intrinsically want to parent in the same way we intrinsically do not want to parent, because from a logical perspective I think the desire to sign up for this is otherwise inexplicable.
I love animals, cats especially, and I feel strongly that they* absolutely deserve to be left tf alone without being a Learning Experience for a kid.
* Well, AND I for that matter.
When I was about 12 years old, I realized I absolutely detested my mother. I was horrified at the thought of anybody could feel that way about me, especially my own kid, so I decided then and there to not have them. Best decision I ever made. Long past my own fertility now. Very happy with my decision.
I hate cooking 😭. If there was a pill that would keep me alive without needing to eat I’d take it hourly.
Also really hate doing personal care. Pls take yourself to the bathroom & wipe on your own thanks.
I stood over my parent's bed with terrible thoughts while they slept. I don't want someone doing that to me and possibly fulfilling whatever is in their head.
I hate annoying sounds (like a baby crying) to the point I get very intense rage fits. A kid don't need that influence.
I have such a long list of things. I'm not a good person. My body and my brain are terrible and barely serve me correctly. They're definitely not capable of taking care of another being that's completely helpless. Plus I have OCPD and have ridiculous standards of living. I don't do well with others in my territory, which I have to have complete control of with everything perfect and exactly how I like it. I argue about literally everything and struggle with the relationships in my life because none of it is the way I want it. I just feel like that's incredibly toxic to a child. I might be worse to them than my parents were to me.
And oh the PMDD! Postpartum is very likely to be a thousand times worse. I'm terrified I would hurt more than just myself and break more than things if I'm forced to produce and raise a child.
Traditionally in my family pregnancy and labor are near death experiences for all the females no matter how advanced medicine gets. I've had so many NDEs that I don't want to tack on more just for something I don't want that will take up the rest of my life and mobility.
I don’t want pregnancy/childbirth to ruin my fit body. I’ve seen what the aftermath that comes with having kids, even just one kid, can do to a woman’s body. None of my mom friends bodies became better post-kids. I don’t want to put my body through that hellish nightmare. Every mom I know felt utter joy when they had their babies. If I became a mom all I’d feel is dread and regret.
Oh god, same here... I'm in the best shape of my life currently and strive to maintain that as long as I am able. Plus, all my high school classmates who had children look like 10 years older than me and the others who don't have kids... yikes.
Right!? I’m 41F and I’m fit and I look younger than I actually am. I do everything can to make sure I’m happy and healthy and I’m proud of the way my body looks. Meanwhile my mom friends look way older. It’s sad they all make their kids the lame excuse to never take care of themselves. I’ve heard them say “it must be so nice” way too often. All of my high school classmates with kids look sooooo damn old too. It’s insane how much having kids ages you!
I don’t want to have to put locks on my cabinets or those giant doorknob covers. I also have a gas stove so those knobs would need covers too. And carbon monoxide poisoning is one of my biggest fears. I already have an OCD tick that makes me turn all the knobs on my stove to make sure they’re off, so the possibility of a child turning on my gas stove freaks me out.
I like the color white. As you would quickly deduct it ; when someone likes a color : it tends to be in their everyday life . My whole wardrobe & appartement is white, white couch, white marble, white rugs, white doors + white tops, white panties & white bottoms.
A kid won’t be compatible.
I detest 99% of pop music & tv made for children. And also most parents suck and I don't want to deal with them. Both probably not that unusual though.
Having to host other people’s kids for sleepovers and parties 😖 Having to throw/attend bday parties, having to do kid shit on vacations, i don’t want to force my cat to put up with children, and tbh worries that my kid would turn out to be a loser 😅
I collect toys...but for me, because i display my collection 🥹 kinda scared what kids will do to my years of precious collection because kids for me, in my mind, are always destructive.
The state of the planet. I love Mother Earth and couldn’t morally bear the amount of sheer waste that comes along with raising a child in this world. I also think it’s cruel to being a child into a deeply suffering planet and a rotting society. A child doesn’t deserve this mess.
i have lots of stuffed toys and i'm scared if i had kids that they'd stain it with their dirty hands, destroy it, or even claim it as their own. (i'm selfish)
-a grown ass woman
i feel so awful for thinking it but i just don’t want to be ugly lmao. i don’t want to deal with baby weight, thin hair, saggy boobs, crooked teeth and a permanently widened pelvis and torn vagina. all for a child that i don’t want. on top of that, a shit husband who’s not into me anymore after i just pushed out a whole entire human. it’s just so not worth it to me
Autistic LVL 1, woman w ptsd, hoh hearing aids and other mental health issues about to be divorced.
Its doubtful I'll find a partner who will pull their equal weight with children and not expect me to do literally everything else. Like I was expected to hold a job, do all the household things, pay the bills, groceries ect ect.
He was already showing that while I was working part time, he was off for 4 days in a row all I asked for was a load of laundry to be done. That was it.
I came home did all the cooking and cleaning as usual and I realized I couldn't do it anymore.
His siblings would come into my home, trash it complain about the cleanliness state. I told them grab a broom and clean up after yourself after they decide to get High and trash the whole house expecting me to be their maid.
He would have done nothing to help me once we had a kid and I nopped out of it.
Dodged a bullet, honestly.
I'd directly need the support of my spouse after work for help with caring for children, not gonna find one of those so I said no kids for me.
I don't have a supportive family and they lived hours away and so did his.
The idea of shitting myself in front of my partner while giving birth is horrifying to me. Well, everything about childbirth is horrifying, but the poop part sticks out.
Also, just the sheer amount of nonsense that children talk. I hate the nonsensical gibberish they are always speaking and people get pissed if you tell a toddler to shut up.
Oh, and people think moms are such monsters if they don't want to be physically affectionate with their children. Most of the time, I really don't want to be touched by any child ever. Some cuddles from my nephews are nice, but the idea of having to cuddle on demand to a small child that is insistent on sleeping in your bed is awful. No one should be able to demand physical affection from anyone else, including children!
Woah i have that same problem. Just last night I almost fainted seeing a huge spider get squished. Ive had fainting problems before infrequently when I was younger but i guess its been ramping up lately.
I dont want kids at all for all the reasons but i guess my body tends to fail me.
Im pretty lazy when it comes to housekeeping stuff like laundry, cleaning, dishes, bringing the trash out. But i still get it done to a certain degree that is acceptable. One of my collegues with children told me she needs to run the dishwasher every day and vacuums the whole flat daily as well, laundry is every 3 days to do. I was shocked by that amount of household work since i have barely motivation to do it like every 2 weeks. No thanks
I don’t want to spend one minute of this life in a goddamn parent/teacher meeting.
I don’t want to drive kids to ringette and soccer and pretend to get along with the other moms.
I don’t want to drive an SUV telling myself it’s cooler than a minivan.
I have thousands of dollars worth of stereo equipment in my vehicle. I don’t want to have to keep the volume down to protect little Timmy’s hearing.
I just built a beach house to spend my weekends at. One, if I had kids I couldn’t afford a weekend beach house. Two, even if I could, I want to spend my weekends sitting on the beach on an inflatable couch drinking beer. I don’t want to spend it sober and making sure kids don’t drown.
It's not my first instinct to take care of other people. I always think about myself first. It's like I'm hardwired to live alone. I don't do it out of selfish reasons though, it's all subconscious. I just don't think about other people even my family first.
Having a toddler or young child in a family with multiple addictions, domestic violence, and narcissistic sociopaths is the ultimate werewolf fantasy for the pieces of shit I am related to.
I refuse to watch the innocence be torn away and the light fade from their eyes before the age of 12 like I did. It's sadistic, wicked, and cruel. What my shitpile fuckup of shared DNA cannot have? They cannot ruin.
They are starting to die now since years of cocaine, cigarettes, alcohol, and painkillers is destroying their hearts, livers, and lungs. I am relieved. I prevented evil, violent beatings, and rage from happening again. If that's selfish of me? I wear it like a badge of honor.
I’m a biker who wrenches professionally. I prefer to litter my home with bike parts, big scary dogs, loaded firearms, bows and arrows, knives, and weed. The idea of childproofing my home is about as realistic as nonalcoholic tequila. To me fatherhood is part of the societal expectation I wholeheartedly reject.
I have EDS and pregnancy would make my joint laxity even worse and I would likely dislocate my hips during pregnancy from the weight or while giving birth 😵💫
The utter helplessness knowing I ultimately can’t control what happens to them and how it impacts them. I can’t protect them from sheer misfortune and the guilt and worry would kill me.
The chance I could lose them to illness or accident at any given time. I have a high trauma history and my mental health could not cope with that type of grief and I would probably off myself if I experienced child loss.
I have so many common ones, of course, but these are the gut-wrenching ones for me.
For me it's my emetophobia. Pregnancy is full of vomiting which would be horrendous for me. And then kids throw up all the time too. I would not be able to handle that
I loathe mom culture/mom social media. I don't wanna be anywhere close to that
Agreed! Sometimes I find myself clicking on those videos when I’m bored out of fascination and then my instagram feed ends up flooded with tons of awful mom content. Some of that shit is super weird.
They're just videos designed to manipulate and try to cheer up mums so they can forget the mistakes they made for a little while.
I hate that vibe too. It makes me feel gross and irrationally angry haha
You can really tell which people actually hate being a mom, or have unsupportive husband's, or at their breaking point when they share all the unhinged mom-humor posts. You're really not selling this for me lol
Yessss - if I had to socialize with other parents I’d pull out my eyelashes
“Mama Bear” “kiddos/hubby” “littles” “mini me”…
My former (got older, grew apart) best friend’s sister is one of these mom accounts on IG, she’s like 35, and has I think 4-5 kids under 10 IIRC. I watched one of her videos just out of curiosity, and she was showing off some pretty blah clothes she bought at target, and the background of her house was like “live laugh love god blessed” type decor. Ugh.
I get the good snacks and I don't want to share.
Yes! And sometimes when I’m lazy, those snacks are my entire dinner. Can’t get away with that with kids.
Couldn’t agree more and I’d expand on that to the idea of sharing in general, like I love my Apple Technology and frankly I don’t want to share it, it’s expensive and the idea of just casually handing over my iPhone to get gnawed on by a toddler just yuck 🤮 or to give a kid my iPad only for them to smash the screen just no, so much no. My tech is all in perfect condition and I intend on keeping it that way, no kids is a necessity in that goal
I have a nice car. I want to keep it nice. Easier done without kids.
We bought a two seater convertible specifically so no one could ever ride with us.
Yep. I'm not sharing the good snacks either Another one for me is, I don't have to worry about making a separate dinner for the kids!
I love this😂
I want to decorate my house and garden without worrying about childproofing.
And you don’t have to consider whether decor you love is even worth purchasing because the kids will ultimately destroy it
Exactly!!!
I think this for me above all else. I’m going to receive gorgeous antique pieces and china sets from my grandmothers when they pass away (as well as oil paintings my great great grandma did years ago) and I refuse to let those become damaged by some fuckling.
So true. I love making art as well and decorating my home with my pieces and I don't want to worry about kids ruining or breaking my work
Even if I liked kids, I would never have my own, because my expectations on them would be *insane*. I'd have a clear image of exactly how I'd want them to turn out in terms of everything from appearance to personality, achievements etc., I'd be completely distraught if they didn't, and I'm very obviously aware of just how abusive all of that would be. This is also already so much more common among parents than people seem to realise. Mothers who freak the fuck out over not getting grandkids is a relevant example, but you also see this with the countless parents who get upset even when their adult kids doesn't choose their preferred hobbies, profession, romantic partner, home decoration, clothing style, or whatever else they feel entitled to control. So many parents live vicariously through their kids, and I'm glad I'm self-aware enough to stay away from that toxic shit.
the self awareness is strong with this one. respect!!!
I wish my mom had your self awareness
I thought about this too! I'd have so many expectations of that child, it would be absolutely horrible. No one wants an abusive parent 😬
The idea of having to deal with children's media - music, TV, cinema etc makes me itchy
Re-living all childhood stuff is a big one for me. Plus having my house full of kid things for over a decade, no thank you.
This is a big one. I didn't have a terrible childhood or anything, I just never really liked being a kid. I just wanted to be my own boss, and now that I am, I don't want to be completely responsible for anyone else.
Ooh and having to spend all my weekends and time off on children's activities/sports/kid friendly outings.
This is a biggie for me. I spend all day doing kids activities for a paycheck. Nobody is paying me to watch a soccer game or help Bobby with his math homework.
To add to this, I'm also afraid that I'd have to listen or watch something a billion times over and over again like I did to my folks when I was a kid.
My mom banned a couple of cartoons from our house growing up purely because the voices annoyed her. I remember Rugrats and SpongeBob being two of the most contentious. One time in college, I was making lunch and my roommate was watching some cartoons in the next room and I suddenly completely understood the ban.
my mom (fundie christian) said that barney and telletubies were demonic… when i was a teen she admitted she just found it too irritating. based.
I love a lot of "children's media". I'm a big kid myself. But I'd worry they'd be into really shitty movies and shows. And that those would be on constant repeat.
Hey Arnold been playing on my TV all day. But that’s my childhood show so it’s nostalgic for me. I’d cry if I had to watch the new shows coming out 😂
Fuck I'd rather take an arrow in the knee than a single god forsaken second of any childrens TV or music programming 🤮🤮🤮
I love watching cartoons, but they would probably like the terrible ones as much as the awesome ones
I find children's media patronizing. Idk how else fo describe it. Even as a child, I felt like I was being made fun of or talked down to😂
And how they watch things on repeat for months on end. No thank you.
....bro have you seen in the night garden?? That shit kept me awake at night. What the actual fuck are they! Who needs horror films when you have shit like that!
I have a lot of nostalgia for children’s shows from my childhood, but I don’t want to have to be stuck listening to baby shark or something
A lady in my neighbourhood temporarily went blind after having her baby. I didn't even know that was an option.
New reason to not have a kid *unlocked*
I have a coworker that had major dental problems while pregnant then after.
Less than 2 years after I was born my mom had to get gum surgery and be on a soft or liquid food only diet for like a month.
My sister developed pre-eclampsia with both her kids & *permanently* lost most of her vision AND hearing on one side after her last one was born.
Someone tag that woman from TikTok who has a running list of reasons not to have kids
zoomie! I love her
Ripping upward and ruining your clitoris did it for me
I’m already partially blind as it is, so I REALLY don’t want that to get worse! I will NEVER have kids for this reason!
Where's the girl with the list?! 👀😬😬😬
AYO WHAT THE FUCK
*WHAT*
I don’t have patience to do my own homework, let alone someone else’s.
One reason I don’t want kids is that I can’t justify necessitating they go to school. A lot of school is unnecessary like 3D trigonometry, or being taught that if you get beat up by bullies you have to get suspended too. Learning a second language you’ll always be crappy at. And for what? Their generation would have such a hard time buying a house or getting a job that would be replaced. Or getting a degree but unable to even get a decent job. I could never lie to my kid and tell them it makes sense.
I don’t want to have to navigate all the decisions of parenthood, especially with technology. When do they get a cell phone? How much internet is too much internet? Should they have access to an iPad, especially when all their friends do? We know extensive internet use is bad for young children, but if everyone else is doing it, that makes for a child who can’t connect with their peers on that kind of stuff. Im a younger millennial and was raised without video games, with limited tv access, limited computer access, and didn’t get a phone until I was 15 (most of my friends had phones in middle school). I felt so left out, but I understand the reasons my parents limited technology so much. It’s such a different world today, and will be even more so in 10 years. The thought of trying to make those decisions honestly gives me anxiety.
Hard agree. Young millennial also, and I had full range of the internet, and at 15 I was meeting older guys off MySpace.. the thought of having a daughter and her doing the same thing terrifies me.
I feel you. I visited a friend and her two kids are already addicted to the smartphone and iPad. They were watching educational content but I'm not sure how much they are absorbing the materials, or how often the mom checks in on her kids to make sure they're watching kid appropriate content. Just thinking about how to restrict content or if I should wait until a child is older but then schools also provides laptops and iPad so it is becoming part of education as well, the kid might feel left out compared to other kids. Just thinking about this is too much for me.
When I was 7, my grandma told me not to whine about cleaning up dog poop because when I became a mommy, I'd be cleaning poop up all day. 100 percent sure that's when I became childfree. Way to snip that branch off the family tree, grandma.
I got a similar comment from an uncle who told me something about "get ready to clean up poop after you have your own kids!" With a smile on his face. All I could do was pull a weak laugh/smile back 😒 Of course, it's the men saying this, even in my own family. They let women do all of the hard work of raising kids.
I don't want to share my video game consoles 🤣 or deal with petty school drama.
Thiiiiiiissssssss
This is just one of many reasons for me, but I really hate puke (both puking myself and seeing/hearing others puke). I'm somewhere between having a strong aversion and being "mildly" emetophobic. The idea of potentially dealing with morning sickness, getting sick during labor/delivery, and having to clean up after/care for and comfort a small sick child who can't keep their food down really squicks me out. On a side note though... I do worry about how this might effect a potential future relationship. I genuinely don't know how I'd handle my hypothetical partner being super sick and really needing me by their side for care and just comfort too. I'd like to think I'd just get over myself in that moment for their sake, but I really don't know.
Food. I'm a foodie and I love trying new recipes. I would absolutely lose my shit if I worked so hard for a beautiful meal and little Timmy demands chicken nuggets instead.
I've made risotto a few times (I'm really good at this apparently.) it's literally easier for me to cook than rice on the stove (I use a rice cooker for all other rice needs). It requires standing at the stove for half an hour. I would hate to put in all that work, while wrangling children, just to have to make tator tots or some shit. Like excuse me, this food is amazing and if you don't eat it or if you even dare to complain, you can sleep outside and eat grass you ungrateful bitch. One of many reasons I don't want kids. Also, I don't want to teach kids stuff. I'm bad at doing things in bits, so youd be seeing me sitting a toddler down "ok today we're going to talk about biological sex, the basics of sexual activity, social concepts of gender, how to avoid getting molested, and how to cross the street. Remember everything I say because I don't want to repeat myself." Gotta repeat yourself so much with kids. I had undiagnosed ADHD as a kid and had to be reminded of stuff constantly and would still forget and get yelled at. I would hate to have to raise another me
>I don't want to teach kids stuff. I'm bad at doing things in bits, I think this is why I feel an abnormal amount of rage when I have to train new employees.
What do you mean you don't know where the silverware is? I showed you an hour ago! Like I said ten times already, you need to use the measuring scoop instead of slapping mayo down onto the bread willy nilly. No, that's the soap side, that's the bleach side. You can tell because (internally beating them to death) the soap side has a soap dispenser above the sink, and the bleach side has a bleach dispenser. WHY DID YOU TELL THE CUSTOMER WE CAN DO THAT WE CANT FUCKING DO THAT ITS ILLEGAL/AGAINST POLICY/NOT FREE YOU FUCKER I don't know how to explain to you that if your job requires you to wear gloves to prepare food for people, that it's at the very least common sense NOT TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM WITH YOUR BARE HANDS YOU HEATHEN TROGLODYTE. Glad to be out of retail/food service. Dangerous idiots out there making your sandwiches.
I enjoy being able to just walk out the door and go places. Kids always make you run late and they have so much junk to haul; stroller, diaper bag, bottles/snacks, toys, playmat, spare clothes, carseat/booster seat etc. Not for me. Just grab my purse and I'm out the door, on time.
I’m the sleepiest person. Seriously. I wonder if I have some kind of condition but all the tests come back normal. I sleep a lot and when I don’t get all the sleep I need I become cranky. And when I get rudely woken up I can become verbally violent or aggressive, sorry not sorry. Don’t wake the bear. It sounds awful to say but I would definitely allow a baby to continue to cry so I can continue to sleep or I would lock my doors so children can’t come running in in the mornings, or wear noise cancelling headphones to bed. I definitely would not be a good mother, oh well!
Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked? I felt like that when mine were low a couple times.
The thought of my body literally stretching and my bone marrow being taken to build the parasite in my body. Also i dont want my vagina to rip to my anus. I also hate the thought of something inside me moving and growing. Thats absolutely disgusting
I'm very surprised few have mentioned this. It's almost like women's bodies themselves are divorced from the pregnancy equation. Like the body doesn't get permanently changed. **Permanently.**
LITERALLY!! Also the fact that ive heard of a woman’s nipple falling off, another had the baby laying a certain way on her spine causing temporary PARALYSIS and they couldnt do anything but wait until it moved off her spine. Another’s teeth fell out while pregnant and another went blind which i seen someone else mentioned. Its so many things that can go wrong and people expect me to try?? Bestie i will take myself out if i ever take a pregnancy test and it comes out positive
Nah, don't take yourself out. Take yourself to the abortion clinic wherever one is. Nipple fell off? I just.... NO.
Because I don’t want to have to pretend to be excited about the structural disaster of a block house you just built, or the shitty drawing of what is supposed to be an owl. Because I don’t want to watch you do 34 somersaults or a stupid jump spin after you screamed at me to watch. Because I don’t want to be sick every other week thanks to the Petri dish that is daycare or elementary school. Because I don’t want my entire life to be run by them and turn into the mombie that a lot of my friends are. Because I don’t want my house to look like Toys R Us threw up in it 24/7.
omg mombie. love it.
"Hey Mom look what I did. Hey Mom look. Mom look. Mom, watch me. Watch me, Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Watch. Mom Watch. Mom watch. Mom. Mom. Watch."
I think I'd throw myself off a building if I ever have to deal with this.
Having to make time to hang out with other adults, not cause I actually like them or want them around, but cause they're my kid's friend's parents sounds like some dumb shit. Also, not having to get up early on weekends unless I make plans I decide are worth it. Edit spelling
I’m in no way, shape, or form prepared for any kind of child. I’m not prepared to devote my life to a severely disabled or handicapped child, and I might could just barely manage with a healthy, functional one. I have multiple chronic diagnoses with no known cures (or causes) and don’t want to risk passing anything on genetically. I’m also morally opposed to the concept of choosing an embryo based on genetics. I’m of the opinion that if you’re not prepared for every kind of child, you shouldn’t have a child, because it’s not fair to the child.
This is a really good point. That's such a good measure to gauge one's level of actually wanting children by; the question of are you prepared to care for a child with severe disabilities? I cannot say that I could handle that.
I don’t wanna go to recitals and ceremonies when I could be hanging out with my friends or traveling.
What do you mean you don’t like horribly off-key and reedy renditions of Christmas songs?
Yeah, and even if someone legitimately loves every second of seeing their kid preform on stage they still have to sit through ALL the other kids.
My pettiest and perhaps most unusual reason is I hate carrying around anything. Smallest, most minimal purse possible. I do not want to carry all the unnecessary accessories associated with babies and kids. I don't want to carry the baby or the kid! And I'll be damned if I have to carry some stupid toy they pitched a fit to bring with somewhere only for me to end up carrying it.
Your comment reminded me of a trip I had with my family. My sister was like 4yo and someone taught it would be a GREAT IDEA to give her a plushie duck that went quack quack quack when you pressed its belly. I was stuck in a plane with that child and that god-forsaken duck for 5 hours and I wanted to perforate ny own ear drums
I’m kind of a control freak and a perfectionist so I would lay the life path for my non existent kid and would not let the kid detour… which will torture the kid. So no kids.
I like to smoke weed, and I hate cooking. Just doesn’t seem like a good mom recipe. I also have a history of fainting, OP. The last time I did, I dislocated my neck requiring emergency surgery, and broke my foot in five places. I get it 🩷
Having a kid means having to socialize more, like with teachers, coaches, other parents… no thank you!
I spent the majority of my life living for other people and I simply refuse to do that anymore.
Yes! I was a very low-demand child, and I never had a problem sharing. The problem was that I had to share everything. My mother loved to self-sacrifice for the extended family, and she often offered us kids, too. I had to share my room because my aunt was visiting. I had to give away my toys because some family needed them more, etc. When I turned into a young adult, I just rebelled against it. Today, I'm very selfish. I'm not moving away to make anyone else comfortable. The only thing that matters is me, myself and I.
I don’t want to get fat and carry something inside me .
My self esteem would plummet and the body horror would be constant
So like not to make this dark but I'm afraid I'd turn into my sperm donor (bio dad) who left my mom when I was a baby and didn't come back into our lives until I was almost 6, who then gave up again when I turned 14. I've only seen him twice in the past 15 years and we don't speak with each other ever. I hate what he did to me but I can't say that I don't fully understand. He was coerced into marrying my mom and I don't think he truly ever wanted kids but was probably also guilted into that by my very Catholic grandparents. And I'd like to think I'm a better person than that but I really just think the only difference between me and him is I made the active decision to never have kids and never let myself be coerced into it.
I love a clean and tidy space. I want my home to be clean and tidy, and I want to clean it when I want to: not whenever the kids would mess it up. I HATE cleaning up after another person. To have to do it every single day, on top of dealing with all the crying and screaming, sounds like my worst possible nightmare. I also don't like other people invading my personal space, so there's that. I value my peace and quiet time a lot. Having kids would absolutely destroy that, and I am pretty sure I'll spiral into depression from the burn out and stress. I am autistic, and being around kids for more than 10 minutes feels like a sensory assault to me. All the screaming and crying and constant chatter and need for attention would drive me crazy. I have no desire to be responsible for another person 24x7. It's the same reason I don't ever plan to have pets if I am living alone. Some people are just not built for that kind of a life, and it's perfectly okay. I enjoy my hobbies, and my life in general. Under no circumstances am I willing to give them up for another person. I work hard to maintain my health and my physique. Pregnancy would totally wreck my body, and assuming I were to survive the horror of childbirth, my body would still never be the same again. No thank you, I'll pass on that.
I’m fine having cats because they’re mostly very quiet and not needy. I don’t want a dog because I can’t stand barking and they need so much attention it drives me insane.
[удалено]
Oh my fear of parasites is just that being pregnant = that kid is a parasite ._. I didn’t even think of actual irl viruses lol
Another one - I wouldn't want to have to deal with my kid's friends and their parents!
Ohh that’s a really good one! I would loathe having some strangers kid making me all anxious in my home during my weekend. I also wouldn’t want my kid to have no friends though, so nooo thanks.
And then you have to socialize with their folks - no thank you!
Kids do the creepiest shit like sleep walking to your bed and staring at you. I’m not willingly going to live with the fear of this.
I don’t want to re-live school years. I still have nightmares about my own.
I start feeling icky every fall b/c of “back to school season”… I think it’d be a thousand times worse if I were responsible for taking a tiny human to school every day
 I don't want to share my house
I'm a sympathetic vomiter
They're stinky, the "new baby smell" is like soiled milk to me
Stale, damp, sweaty, humid, body fluidy...fuckin barrrrf
I want to be able to spray bug spray during the summer without worrying about a kid breathing it in
I want to be able to game for long periods
Without sharing the controller
Having to give up peanut butter if they're allergic to peanuts
I’m vegetarian and meat disgusts me. No kid deserves a parent who would restrict their kids exposure to various types of food.
I don’t want them to be a serial killer
pregnancy can cause changes in brain chemistry and there's a potential to suddenly hate your pets and view them as threats. No way am I risking my love for my animals over something I'd literally rather die than endure
I like my clit intact
No....what?! I...didn't know about this...um...wtf
Yeah I didn't know it was a thing either until I saw it on this sub a few years back and um... If I didn't want them before I sure as hell don't want them now.
I hated being a child (even though my childhood was objectively good), I didn’t want to put someone else through that same experience.
Because I don't think I'm a good person. FWIW, I am a much better individual than I was 3 years ago. My past is riddled with sexual abuse, self-harm/eating disorder, drinking, and LOTS of fighting. I made a lot of horrible fucking decisions; that's the gist of it. I have made great efforts in my recovery. And, I truly believe that I will be okay in the end. Somehow. But I cannot fathom a life where I bring a child into this world, knowing what the ugliest side of me looks like. My actions have affected lives; I know this. I have no right to bring something into this world that I would just end up fucking over. I wouldn't be a fit mother because of this mindset alone. I accept it. I know what I am doing now is right. I ended up having a bisalp 2 years ago. I do not regret my decision.
I'm a teacher. I can only deal with children for so long, and they have to be other people's. If I had to come home and take care of more children, I would feel like I never left work and probably have a full psychotic break. I love being a teacher and NEVER want to be a Mom.
I'm a total night owl, I love staying up late at night (...or early in the morning) and sleeping late. I would absolutely hate having to adjust to a "normal" sleeping schedule, I am not getting up at 6:30 to get a kid ready for school. Sounds miserable
I want to keep the body I was born with. I want my bones & organs & soft tissue intact, not having stretched, shifted around, strained, & damaged. I don't want permanent changes I could have prevented from happening, beyond aging, accidents, illness, surgeries, all that. This is just ONE reason among countless, but it's been in my top five since I was a child myself. I just.... want my body the way it is, the body I got born in. It's *mine,* & I want it to just.... be, unaccosted. I keep coming back to the word **intact.**
Maybe not that unusual, but passionate, loud sex is the only kind of sex I want with a partner....
I don't have worry about my legos getting mixed up with their legos.
I don't want to be the "hang out" house.
And once the kid gets old enough, they'll likely sneak your alcohol >:(
Pregnant women make me feel sick. The way their body stretches and bloats itself looks like something out of a body horror film. I know I don't need to get pregnant to have kids but I'd be more likely to see pregnant women if I were to have them, as I'd have to take my child to school, where they are more likely to be.
Bathroom humor makes me genuinely nauseous.
This one is a little more serious but I worked in an inpatient rehab center for people with serious mental illness and addictions. Probably, at least a 3rd of my patients eventually died from overdose. Most of them in their 20s. I went to funerals and held parents as they sobbed. Told them they did everything right and it happened anyway. These parents slept with the phone under their pillow, and never slept well. There was really a moment of piece in that situation. To have a child that grows up to have a severe and chronic illness, including psychiatric illnesses/addictions, I genuinely cannot imagine how I would cope. Unless someone could guarantee me that I wouldn’t be in that position- which is impossible- I’d I would not roll the dice. I’m anxious enough as it is.
I don’t want to teach a child how to read. Sounds miserable.
the tantrums. i dont want to manage tantrums.
“Mom, momma, mom, mommy, mommy, mum, mom, mom”……
I have emetophobia and an extremely strong gag reflex regarding bad smells in general, so if i was changing a nappy or the baby vomited, i would vomit back up all over the baby (has happened before with someone else’s baby… poor guy). Also i swear a lot and like to have inappropriate posters, books, movies and music playing loudly which you can’t really do as much once the kid is old enough to be conscious.
I don’t want to attend school concerts or parent/ teacher conferences
taking the kid to and from school. TWICE A DAY?!?!? what with? these tiny things which walk at the pace of snails? or worse waste that much petrol every day...no thanks
I like being a freak, and I don't want to stifle my self-expression or censor myself because children are present. Also, I'm an artist, and I devote lots of my time to my creative pursuits. I would neglect a child in the sense that I am time selfish. A child needs a present parent who wants them and has time for them, period. That's not me. I would never kid myself into thinking otherwise.
I will get bashed for this, but hey it is the truth. I was asked to be the adult before I was ready. No eight year old should be charged with looking after his own father and his younger brother. I don't remember my father before he went to the Vietnam War. He died as far as I am concerned. What they sent back was no "man", and no "father" by any measure. I managed, but I was burned out by the time I was 15. When I learned what a vasectomy was, I knew I wanted one some day. I got it! I was from a poor family, so my only hope was to enlist in the military. So I did, and so I was sent to the Middle East. I saw things I will never un-see. \[pause\] Humans suck! This world does not need more!
I might have a kid if I could choose the gender. I think I’d hate my life if I had a boy. Which isn’t fair to any kid so that is one of my reasons for not reproducing, among a plethora of other reasons.
I like this one! There are so many of those parents who just keep having babies until they finally get their precious girl (or boy, if that’s what they’re after). They end up with like 5+ kids all for the sake of having that one baby of a specific sex!
Yes! One of the reasons I’m not having kids is BECAUSE I really want a daughter. If I had a son I would want to abort it, as bad as that sounds, but I’m not taking chances.
Literally same. The world has enough men.
I realized I probably shouldn’t have a kid also because I would prefer a girl. In fact, any time I imagined being a parent it was always with a daughter so I would probs end up with a boy and like idk not be a great involved mom lol
My brother has two small kids, one is a baby, and the entire family has some sort of terrible plague right now that sounds soooo incredibly miserable. My brother has blisters on the inside of his nose and mouth!! On top of regular flu symptoms. The baby and his wife also have it. It sounds like pure hell.
Afraid of vomiting (pregnancy or cleaning up vomit) and never want to go to Disney world
Snotty noses
My sil lost her 3 teeth in total, 1 with each pregnancy. I like my teeth very much!
I'm selfish, I'll admit it. I don't want anyone to depend on me. I want to prioritize *myself*.
Saliva grosses me out to the point I can faint, so forget drooly babies and their disgusting sticky, moist hands. Shudder.
I think I would emotionally abuse a child. Not on purpose, but like I just imagine myself totally overstimulated by a screaming baby and having a mental breakdown where I either seal it alone in a room unattended just to escape it or I start yelling at it to shut up. My mental health can't handle kids, I have way too many unresolved issues of my own.
My boyfriend has a huge head. I ain't pushing out one of his big headed kids.
I *hated* school, and I don't want to have to deal it with again in any capacity--I did my time. If I had a kid, I'd have to enroll it, buy it school clothes and supplies, go to parent teacher shit, band shit, assemblies, bullshit second grade "graduations", and probably have to taxi the thing to and from every day. No. Fucking. Thanks. Also, I hated being told what do and feeling powerless as a kid, and I'd have to be in the "bossy" role. I'd have to argue with a kid about why they need to brush teeth, bathe, go to bed or get up at certain times, and why they need to go to school. I am not a patient person, and that shit would get old *super quick*. I'm not cut out for any of it.
I have a phobia of pregnancy. The way the stomach gets stretched and distorted, the way their bellybutton gets pushed out while pregnant, the tension of the skin..... it's all deeply disturbing to me. And that's not even getting into the internal nightmare and risks. It's to the point where, anymore, I say I'd have kids if I could be the dad. Which, while not entirely impossible with science, would be entirely too much money and effort to be worth it for something I don't feel strongly about wanting.
Contagious diseases. One of the most wonderful things about my feline children, is that transmitting diseases between species is hard to do. Just the thought of having to hands on care for a person knowing they'll 100% give me whatever they have is nightmare fuel.
Because I would have to start wearing a bra around the house (or rather, I wouldn't feel comfortable being braless around family besides my husband). Obviously this isn't the main reason, but it is something I've thought about a lot
So much 🤮 and 💩
If my child wasn't exactly how I want them (quiet, calm) and was instead the type to run around screaming all day, I'd certainly become a version of myself that I wouldn't be proud of. I cannot handle that sort of behavior, and so I won't put myself in a situation where it's likely. (Because get real, most children are not the quiet and calm type.)
Being pregnant can cause your teeth and hair to fall out. No thanks.
It’s apparently rare but there’s a possibly that during childbirth you can rip up instead of down and tear your clit.
Sensory overload. They just never stop making noise, smells, mess. They fill your home with gaudy bright colors- which also make a mess. And apparently they never stop touching you- leaving many women "touched out" by the time they would otherwise experience sexual intimacy with their partner. To compound the issue you don't get refreshing sleep for years/decades, and your social circles quickly become limited to other local people going through the same thing, rather than people you would otherwise naturally get on well with. Your only break is your job- which is labor, not rest- and if you're a woman you'll be pressured to leave/minimize your participation in the paid workforce anyway. I think some people must intrinsically want to parent in the same way we intrinsically do not want to parent, because from a logical perspective I think the desire to sign up for this is otherwise inexplicable.
I love animals, cats especially, and I feel strongly that they* absolutely deserve to be left tf alone without being a Learning Experience for a kid. * Well, AND I for that matter.
When I was about 12 years old, I realized I absolutely detested my mother. I was horrified at the thought of anybody could feel that way about me, especially my own kid, so I decided then and there to not have them. Best decision I ever made. Long past my own fertility now. Very happy with my decision.
I hate cooking 😭. If there was a pill that would keep me alive without needing to eat I’d take it hourly. Also really hate doing personal care. Pls take yourself to the bathroom & wipe on your own thanks.
I don’t want a little human who will disrespect my cat and let her run away.
I’m a very immature person when it comes to my interests. I would probably cry if I had to share my plushies with a child.
I stood over my parent's bed with terrible thoughts while they slept. I don't want someone doing that to me and possibly fulfilling whatever is in their head. I hate annoying sounds (like a baby crying) to the point I get very intense rage fits. A kid don't need that influence. I have such a long list of things. I'm not a good person. My body and my brain are terrible and barely serve me correctly. They're definitely not capable of taking care of another being that's completely helpless. Plus I have OCPD and have ridiculous standards of living. I don't do well with others in my territory, which I have to have complete control of with everything perfect and exactly how I like it. I argue about literally everything and struggle with the relationships in my life because none of it is the way I want it. I just feel like that's incredibly toxic to a child. I might be worse to them than my parents were to me. And oh the PMDD! Postpartum is very likely to be a thousand times worse. I'm terrified I would hurt more than just myself and break more than things if I'm forced to produce and raise a child. Traditionally in my family pregnancy and labor are near death experiences for all the females no matter how advanced medicine gets. I've had so many NDEs that I don't want to tack on more just for something I don't want that will take up the rest of my life and mobility.
There are three things that repulse me. 1. Sex. 2. Pregnancy and childbirth. 3. Children.
I don’t want pregnancy/childbirth to ruin my fit body. I’ve seen what the aftermath that comes with having kids, even just one kid, can do to a woman’s body. None of my mom friends bodies became better post-kids. I don’t want to put my body through that hellish nightmare. Every mom I know felt utter joy when they had their babies. If I became a mom all I’d feel is dread and regret.
Oh god, same here... I'm in the best shape of my life currently and strive to maintain that as long as I am able. Plus, all my high school classmates who had children look like 10 years older than me and the others who don't have kids... yikes.
Right!? I’m 41F and I’m fit and I look younger than I actually am. I do everything can to make sure I’m happy and healthy and I’m proud of the way my body looks. Meanwhile my mom friends look way older. It’s sad they all make their kids the lame excuse to never take care of themselves. I’ve heard them say “it must be so nice” way too often. All of my high school classmates with kids look sooooo damn old too. It’s insane how much having kids ages you!
I would 100% be something like a tiger mom and the jerk kind
I don’t want to have to put locks on my cabinets or those giant doorknob covers. I also have a gas stove so those knobs would need covers too. And carbon monoxide poisoning is one of my biggest fears. I already have an OCD tick that makes me turn all the knobs on my stove to make sure they’re off, so the possibility of a child turning on my gas stove freaks me out.
Kids shows on TV usually… fucking suck! With few exceptions like SpongeBob, but many of them suck
I already pee every half hour and sometimes leak when I sneeze. No fucking way I need to make those things worse with a pregnancy.
I like the color white. As you would quickly deduct it ; when someone likes a color : it tends to be in their everyday life . My whole wardrobe & appartement is white, white couch, white marble, white rugs, white doors + white tops, white panties & white bottoms. A kid won’t be compatible.
I detest 99% of pop music & tv made for children. And also most parents suck and I don't want to deal with them. Both probably not that unusual though.
Having to host other people’s kids for sleepovers and parties 😖 Having to throw/attend bday parties, having to do kid shit on vacations, i don’t want to force my cat to put up with children, and tbh worries that my kid would turn out to be a loser 😅
I collect toys...but for me, because i display my collection 🥹 kinda scared what kids will do to my years of precious collection because kids for me, in my mind, are always destructive.
The state of the planet. I love Mother Earth and couldn’t morally bear the amount of sheer waste that comes along with raising a child in this world. I also think it’s cruel to being a child into a deeply suffering planet and a rotting society. A child doesn’t deserve this mess.
i have lots of stuffed toys and i'm scared if i had kids that they'd stain it with their dirty hands, destroy it, or even claim it as their own. (i'm selfish) -a grown ass woman
i feel so awful for thinking it but i just don’t want to be ugly lmao. i don’t want to deal with baby weight, thin hair, saggy boobs, crooked teeth and a permanently widened pelvis and torn vagina. all for a child that i don’t want. on top of that, a shit husband who’s not into me anymore after i just pushed out a whole entire human. it’s just so not worth it to me
Autistic LVL 1, woman w ptsd, hoh hearing aids and other mental health issues about to be divorced. Its doubtful I'll find a partner who will pull their equal weight with children and not expect me to do literally everything else. Like I was expected to hold a job, do all the household things, pay the bills, groceries ect ect. He was already showing that while I was working part time, he was off for 4 days in a row all I asked for was a load of laundry to be done. That was it. I came home did all the cooking and cleaning as usual and I realized I couldn't do it anymore. His siblings would come into my home, trash it complain about the cleanliness state. I told them grab a broom and clean up after yourself after they decide to get High and trash the whole house expecting me to be their maid. He would have done nothing to help me once we had a kid and I nopped out of it. Dodged a bullet, honestly. I'd directly need the support of my spouse after work for help with caring for children, not gonna find one of those so I said no kids for me. I don't have a supportive family and they lived hours away and so did his.
The idea of shitting myself in front of my partner while giving birth is horrifying to me. Well, everything about childbirth is horrifying, but the poop part sticks out. Also, just the sheer amount of nonsense that children talk. I hate the nonsensical gibberish they are always speaking and people get pissed if you tell a toddler to shut up. Oh, and people think moms are such monsters if they don't want to be physically affectionate with their children. Most of the time, I really don't want to be touched by any child ever. Some cuddles from my nephews are nice, but the idea of having to cuddle on demand to a small child that is insistent on sleeping in your bed is awful. No one should be able to demand physical affection from anyone else, including children!
I let my mom friend use my car and when she returned it, it just had a certain stench to it. Children smell. I don’t want that smell around.
I want my bladder on the inside of me when I'm 60
I will never have to deal with buying things for Christmas, birthdays, etc. Plus, no band/voice recitals, sports events, fundraising either.
Woah i have that same problem. Just last night I almost fainted seeing a huge spider get squished. Ive had fainting problems before infrequently when I was younger but i guess its been ramping up lately. I dont want kids at all for all the reasons but i guess my body tends to fail me.
Im pretty lazy when it comes to housekeeping stuff like laundry, cleaning, dishes, bringing the trash out. But i still get it done to a certain degree that is acceptable. One of my collegues with children told me she needs to run the dishwasher every day and vacuums the whole flat daily as well, laundry is every 3 days to do. I was shocked by that amount of household work since i have barely motivation to do it like every 2 weeks. No thanks
I dont want my kid suddenly deciding my aquarium fish want to drink some orange juice
I don’t want to spend one minute of this life in a goddamn parent/teacher meeting. I don’t want to drive kids to ringette and soccer and pretend to get along with the other moms. I don’t want to drive an SUV telling myself it’s cooler than a minivan. I have thousands of dollars worth of stereo equipment in my vehicle. I don’t want to have to keep the volume down to protect little Timmy’s hearing. I just built a beach house to spend my weekends at. One, if I had kids I couldn’t afford a weekend beach house. Two, even if I could, I want to spend my weekends sitting on the beach on an inflatable couch drinking beer. I don’t want to spend it sober and making sure kids don’t drown.
Definitely not my main reason for not having children, but weight gain. I have severe body dysmorphia and hyper fixation on my body weight.
It's not my first instinct to take care of other people. I always think about myself first. It's like I'm hardwired to live alone. I don't do it out of selfish reasons though, it's all subconscious. I just don't think about other people even my family first.
I love to read, and I don't want a snot goblin interrupting me. My tolerance for interruptions is minimal.
I can NOT handle vomit 😅
Having a toddler or young child in a family with multiple addictions, domestic violence, and narcissistic sociopaths is the ultimate werewolf fantasy for the pieces of shit I am related to. I refuse to watch the innocence be torn away and the light fade from their eyes before the age of 12 like I did. It's sadistic, wicked, and cruel. What my shitpile fuckup of shared DNA cannot have? They cannot ruin. They are starting to die now since years of cocaine, cigarettes, alcohol, and painkillers is destroying their hearts, livers, and lungs. I am relieved. I prevented evil, violent beatings, and rage from happening again. If that's selfish of me? I wear it like a badge of honor.
I’m a biker who wrenches professionally. I prefer to litter my home with bike parts, big scary dogs, loaded firearms, bows and arrows, knives, and weed. The idea of childproofing my home is about as realistic as nonalcoholic tequila. To me fatherhood is part of the societal expectation I wholeheartedly reject.
I have EDS and pregnancy would make my joint laxity even worse and I would likely dislocate my hips during pregnancy from the weight or while giving birth 😵💫
My mother told me not to do it
The utter helplessness knowing I ultimately can’t control what happens to them and how it impacts them. I can’t protect them from sheer misfortune and the guilt and worry would kill me. The chance I could lose them to illness or accident at any given time. I have a high trauma history and my mental health could not cope with that type of grief and I would probably off myself if I experienced child loss. I have so many common ones, of course, but these are the gut-wrenching ones for me.
For me it's my emetophobia. Pregnancy is full of vomiting which would be horrendous for me. And then kids throw up all the time too. I would not be able to handle that