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This is a repost of [this content](https://br.ifunny.co/picture/when-you-re-on-deployment-and-your-wife-spends-50-5UtCrFbI8). Please do not post content unless you are the original creator. Continued reposting will result in a ban. [^mod ^info](https://dankahoot.com/blame?id=11w75dj)


username1234567898

If you are joining the military don’t get married, these hoes ain’t loyal…


Dramatic-Editor-664

As the saying goes... If the government thought you needed a wife/gf, they would have issued you one at basic.


username1234567898

The only partner a soldier needs is old reliable…


deadly_chicken_gun

Dare I say, the right hand man


pnw2mpls

Rosie Palms


hazmatastic

Palmela Handerson


[deleted]

[удалено]


coachz1212

Good ol' Jill


iCanReadMyOwnMind

Sandpaper Sally


OGMcSwaggerdick

Brother you should moisturize.


Temelios

And her five sisters.


BlueMANAHat

And your bunkmate.


Shadowwreath

Had a friend tell me a story relating to this when he was in basic: So he and his platoon are about to start basic, like shipping out to wherever it is the next day, and they’re all hanging around and what not. Well one of them is drawing something; really detailed tits. Like, apparently it was notably good. But then like 20 minutes later they noticed he had been in the bathroom for awhile, and checked his stuff. No drawing. Then awhile later he came back looking really satisfied. According to my friend, he received the nickname Tac Jack for this.


Shermander

Went to basic with a guy that beat his meat every day for about two months straight. All of the sudden he started cumming out blood. Maybe it's a one off thing. Nope, he jizzes out more blood the next time around. Went to our MTI. MTI asked what we needed to go to medical for. "Sir, you don't wanna know". This elicited zero questions funny enough. Upon arriving to the base hospital, they literally ask him if he tried not jerking off. Ran some quick tests for STI or an UTI. Nothing. Got a cotton swab go down his dick hole and a twirl though.


Hero_of_Thyme81

At home your wife is your right hand, out here your right hand is your wife.


nastynateraide

What do you think your battle buddy was for, son?


the_grass_trainer

Met a dude in the Navy who was on a 7 month deployment with me, and when we got home his woman was 3 months pregnant...


jairomantill

I heard the sperm can take up to 4 months to reach the uterus. That guy wife probably…


TactlesslyTactful

I worked with a dude who was in the army and had the same scenario, except he wasn't deployed.


the_grass_trainer

Oof


tomer91131

Oof...F


albertsugar

It's a Christmas miracle


SalvadorsAnteater

Call the Vatican!


Necro_Solaris

Same for navy/merchant Navy, too many sad stories from too many senior officers.... Edit : typo


Ed_Hastings

Really, any field with long hours and/or long periods of time spent away from home. Shit is endemic with pilots, air stewards, oil rig workers, and other similar professions as well.


WildFemmeFatale

It goes both ways as well People in the military do cheat on their spouses sometimes just like how their spouses might cheat on them as well Being in the military doesn’t mean that the person is loyal / ‘can’t be the cheater’ Simply, don’t marry someone who can’t live without sex for 6 months straight or more.. or less. Also, the communication can also be very minimal sometimes. Simply, either might give in to sexual infidelity. Simply, marry someone who can control themselves, and loves you completely.


ssocratass

Just marry someone you can actually trust? Loyalty does exist but you need to find it and keep it. I'm so sick of current media to always sensationalize cheating and feed in to the idea that everyone cheats (especially women). No wonder you all have trust issues, stop believing everything you see and read online and go talk to real human beings. Thank you for saying don't marry someone who can't live without sex for 6 months, I'm going insane by all these posts saying loyalty is dead.


bigboygamer

Plus no 19 year old is going to stay loyal after they drop 20lbs in basic and have a job that's at least in the realm of being respectable.


MeatyOakerGuy

*every single 18 yr old who fell in love in tech school* "Yeah Imm a pass"


[deleted]

If you join the military just get someone from the military smh.


SheeBang_UniCron

You obviously haven’t seen someone from the military.


[deleted]

Lmao.


WildFemmeFatale

Some do some don’t Ik dudes in the military who wouldn’t dare try to date someone else from the military cuz it’ll be two high stress busy people being stressed out asf together. Some ppl want to date someone who isn’t stressed out and busy all the time. Also, there is a slight uptick in masculine personalities regarding women in the military and not everyone sips that type of tea.


Energy_Turtle

My brother tried this. He got sent to the Pacific while his wife stayed in Italy. That went as well as it sounds like would.


calsiferswatch

That raise tho


Came_to_argue

That’s why you marry a homie.


garbonzobeanconsumer

🧠


LightTrack

Why'd you get married at all then?


erizzluh

they pay you more if you're married though. i know a couple people who rushed their wedding ahead of their deployment just for the extra money.


username1234567898

I think there’s a saying about that, “Marriage… only geniuses rush in” or something like that…🙄🙄🙄


Ubermensch_69

_Wise men say Only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with a raise_


Professional-News362

Hoes ? Don’t get a committed relationship weee you are going to be away most of the year.


ZippyParakeet

You realise relationships are a two way thing right


uneffinlucky

Can confirm, it’s surreal how often these women do this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


KANGladiator

Self test kits in India cost about $3.


tiny_cat_bishop

free in Canada, but the catch is good luck finding any.


TheMelm

They got them piled up by the counter at the shoppers in Dawson Creek.


Driftstang

But what if there's a lineup for them? I don't wanna wait...


BigThirdDown

Just ask Pacey


Devastator_Omega

Try London drugs. Public schools were giving them out a while ago.


Gooliath

Liquor mart in Manitoba was handing them out at check out awhile ago


Mangifera__indica

Well you are comparing western countries to India. It's unfair really. India's just in another league in terms of providing cheap but world class quality healthcare.


KLGamer7084

I do not care what the unfair part meant but I'll take it as a compliment


Mangifera__indica

It's a compliment. Lol.


test_user_3

I think they mean the comparison is not that useful because just about everything is 10x cheaper in India.


Zyeesi

For how many people that have died due to the lack of action? Yea I sure hope you guys at least sell the self test kit for cheap. In fact costing $3 each when your average income is less than $$450 per month seems expensive. Why isn’t that shit free like many other western countries? Can’t imagine saying “it’s unfair to compare western countries to india” when you’re comparing welfare lmfao Imagine posting some link to a website called “mylifeisamovie” Sure as hell east to provide “cheap” medicine when you don’t have the proper policy and mass produce knock off medicines. Here’s a list on welfare provided by country: https://www.prosperity.com/rankings Honestly, was pretty hard to find India on here


_The_Real_Sans_

Idk about now but back in like 2021ish when COVID was at its peak they were handing out as many self test kits as you wanted for free where I am in the US. Some dude knocked on our door asking if we wanted any and my mom was like 'uhhh I'll take 10 I guess' lol.


[deleted]

So functionally $50.


TheAmazingDisgrace

I think they're $15-20 in stores, but you can probably find somewhere that'll give them out for free


TheOvershear

Flowflex kits are $10 if you're fans of false negatives.


bobs_monkey

tan jobless tap unite rustic bake wasteful wrench strong pot -- mass edited with redact.dev


Nihil_esque

Kroger here has them for $30 which imo is highway robbery


piddydb

They’re like $23 for 2 for the namebrand ones. Obviously she’s just being overly safe and getting 4 tests right?


hamster_savant

Most insurance companies will reimburse.


IamYOVO

Right... more expensive means less-developed country. Great thinking, private.


Homers_Harp

My last ten have been free. Stick a Joe Biden "I DID THAT!" sticker on 'em!


spideybiggestfan

its free here in maple land


AbsolutelyUnlikely

She got the Deleter 9000 bruh


[deleted]

I don't know what cost 50 dollars at CVS, are you sad because your wife got sick?


Greedy-Consequence-8

Plan B contraceptive. She got dicked down last night and got plan B that morning


jairomantill

Plan A was to pull it out.


[deleted]

No plan A was loyalty, guess that didn't work out.


sensei27

That was the other entire course of action really… Once you fuck up, you gotta start planning


Ed_Hastings

Cheating isn’t fucking up. Fucking up is a mistake, cheating is an intentional action.


SantyClawz42

Now now, let's not jump to conclusions, it could have been rape.... oh, that's worse...


Valnis

my god thats even more fucked up


TheBobLoblaw-LawBlog

Or if you’re a woodworker, once you fuck up you gotta start planing.


Bigknight5150

No, that was never part of the plan.


GonadLessGorilla

Plan B is 50 USD? Like For Real? Fifty freaking dollars?


andrewsad1

I mean it's a hell of a cost saver


DarthWeenus

It's illegal in certain states now


IAMImportant

because, freedom?


FrogInShorts

Freedom to be oppressed


[deleted]

Usually more than that, from my experience.


GonadLessGorilla

Dang! I haven't seen one over 2-3 dollars ever.


Oddity83

You sure you’re talking about the same thing? Or are you not in the US? https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-massachusetts/online-health-center/planned-parenthood-services-birth-control-abortion-std-hiv-pregnancy-health-care/emergency-contraception-plan-b >> Plan B One-Step usually costs about $40-$50. Next Choice One Dose, Take Action, and My Way generally cost less — about $15-$45. You can also order a generic brand called AfterPill online for $20 + $5 shipping. (AfterPill can’t be shipped quick enough to use if you need a morning-after pill right now, but you can buy it and put it in your medicine cabinet in case you need it in the future.)


GonadLessGorilla

Well, the morning after pill, right? It costs ₹100-300 here. Around 1-3 usd. These aren't like govt subsidised pills or anything. These are like proper pills, lisenced, certified; publicly traded company products. I really can't comprehend why it's so expensive over there.


Oddity83

Yeah, the morning after pill. Unfortunately it’s all politicians and pharmaceutical companies. The pharma companies are making sure the politicians are getting rich off of them, so the politicians make sure the drug prices stay high. The people suffer.


GonadLessGorilla

You wanna start a business? Lol


AMFDevious

50 dollars! American health care is broken lol


Moon0verlord

Yea she got sick with a cum pet


jljl2902

Second weirdest name for a kid I’ve seen on this app


ZephyrStudios686

I gotta know what first place is


jljl2902

Pussy turd


ZephyrStudios686

Holy shit


funkmaster29

are you surprised or calling the kid an angelic turd?


Ruby_Throated_Hummer

Holy shit


pragmojo

Thick Queef


Telel1n

50 bucks for plan B!? In my country it costs no more than 10usd, wtf??


hilldo75

It's what capitalistic health care gets you. I mean you wouldn't want it to be affordable to just anyone especially the poors. Definitely sarcasm.


[deleted]

US is basically a scam at this point


TachibanaSora

10 bucks? They barely cost 1.5 in india


RealLifeCorn

Probably would just make me happy cus that's how much my wife's depression meds cost. Glad she takin care of herself 😁


Mangifera__indica

Uh, buddy...


DilapidatedToaster

$50 is a pretty common co pay for drugs


holdmyhanddummy

Huh? That's a rather large copay for prescription meds


Jon_Luck_Pickerd

Welcome to America.


DilapidatedToaster

For generics and common meds, yeah it's high. But around $50 is a standard copay for non formulary medications.


napalm69

Depends on your insurance and the medicine. My old ADHD meds were $400 a bottle, but after insurance it was about $14


MrLuthor

$70 for my new adhd medicine. That's with 2 insurance no less.


DesmondsTutu

This has to be fiction. My co-payment cost $2, and now even without the Medical aid it's about $7.55. You Americans are either getting robbed or we're getting some stepped on shit here.


PParker87

Oh, definitely robbed. There’s little regulation on prices


theangryslovak

Wait until I tell you that my Crohn’s medicine costs 22,500$ every 2 months; thankfully I have ACA (Obamacare) government-subsidized insurance because I would be unable to afford that and would have to live in terrible pain. On the flip side on the past, I’ve had private insurance that said I lied about having a “pre existing” condition because of an unrelated doctor visit months before I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. They then proceeded to drop my coverage and pay for nothing, causing me to be saddled with 6 figures of medical debt that was thankfully forgiven by the non profit hospital I was at. The American healthcare system is the best if you can afford it, and for me our version of socialized healthcare is the only way I’ve gotten coverage since then. Considering the vast majority of Americans have issues getting coverage or affording it, our system sucks. The amount of people left medically bankrupt every year due to sheer bad luck on health is astounding.


KidBeene

Not with Tricare.


Chinstrap6

Don’t know if I’ve ever had a $50 copay for prescription meds. Without insurance, yeah $50 is pretty normal for me. But with insurance it’s usually in the $8-$15 range.


rahvan

Got bad news for ya ....


Dandandandooo

:(


cosmic_hierophant

She buy a refill every Sunday morning. Sometimes an extra on Thursday


[deleted]

they’re free in canada with good benefits. yikes


Mururumi

Good for you, my man. How's her boyfriend doing? Helps supporting your happy marriage?


username1234567898

Plan B should be Plan BB, for Back-walls Blown-out…


thinkB4WeSpeak

She's an idiot then because if you're married they'll give it to her at the family care clinic for free on post.


[deleted]

Wouldn't the base pharmacy *know* the husband was on deployment..?


PatientWho

Wasn’t the first. Wont be the last.


nefarious

No they wouldn't know And no they wouldn't care.


A_large_load

But then you gotta wait until Monday >:(


Chiinoe

Wow. Joke went right over my head at first. Thought it was about the wife spending all the damn money, I know mine does.


BortTheThrillho

Women be shopping


swim_shady

TRUE!!


WhoIsHankRearden_

Fucking Jody.


[deleted]

She already did.


narfoshin

Exactly


[deleted]

Eggs sure are getting expensive, that’s true.


someapplegui

Especially when fertilized


[deleted]

You don’t know much about farming, huh? You just need a willing cock.


Stormfly

Looks like she found one.


Jkr0205

fun fact they sell the generics for like 10 bucks on various websites. stock up and never have to waste 50 bucks again.


TheOvershear

I mean I've seen aftera as low as $20 but ten dollars is crazy! Link please?


Jkr0205

Same active ingredient, 1/5th the price and no awkwardness when the middle aged lady at cvs stares at you with hate in her eyes. https://www.walmart.com/ip/509481545


xxpen15mightierxx

> when the middle aged lady at cvs stares at you with hate in her eyes. Can't stand this shit, if you don't want to dispense meds for people regardless of what it is, don't work in a fucking pharmacy. Seriously, like Chick Fil A is hiring, go work there or at the church.


PupPop

Ordered 5. Thanks!


capncanuck1

It's 5$ at Costco- also if you're stocking up make sure that you triple check how long it'll last for. Im seeing some places saying as long as 2 years for levogastrol but that is in ideal conditions.


MedicatedAxeBot

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [Join the Dank Charity Alliance and help raise money for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital!](http://events.stjude.org/DankCharityAlliance)


[deleted]

Thank you for your service.


D15PA1R

Something something thank you for your cervix.


Devilkiwi24

This is dark!


uneffinlucky

This is common!


Gh0stface513

To be fair, thats also just 2 snacks and a drink at this point.


LadyAliceMagnus

Tampons, Midol, good chocolate, potato chips, diet soda, and half a dozen tabloids. Easily $50.


PupPop

But not exactly 50. Only ever got plan B for one girl one time in my life so far and it was exactly 50.


BBGettyMcclanahan

Don't forget makeup


LadyAliceMagnus

Yes, concealer to cover the hormonal zits.


Kvas_HardBass

What's CVS?


DoodleBobDread

Chain of pharmacy stores in the US.


hauntedadrevenue666

*Chain of Varmacy Stores


PangaeanSunrise

**Fortunate Son Intensifies**


Ethan-Samurai

As a CVS employee, I really gotta stay quiet on this post


slingching33

You knew


Kalushar

IFunny....


defnotmypornusername

Jody always gets his


elbenji

Since Plan B is 10-30 in most places now, it's probably more some energy drinks, chocolate, snacks, toilet paper and covid test


[deleted]

She bought all the limited edition Peeps squishmallows?


[deleted]

Don't worry my brothers, your wife is being taken care of. 😌


Google-Meister

So no one is mentioning the ifunny mark?


Satans_Jewels

At least she's not having it :)


supremegamer76

honestly, if you are going to be in the millitary, you shouldn't be in a relationship. not being able to be with your SO is not going be be fun for the both of you.


Vancouv-NC

Or she's so depressed you're gone that she's starting off the day with a fuckton of alcohol from the drug store. My Rite Aid has a great selection


TheKorbinator

I mean it's not like he isn't gucking or raping anything in sight, be it civilians or female soldiers


[deleted]

#Plan B


Darth19Vader77

Big oof


justicegear

Holy hell. You guys are too dark on the jokes!


Spartnax

What's cvs


zeropointcorp

Cervical Violation Service Nah, it’s a chain of pharmacies


LORD00STARK

Cvs? i dont get it


zeropointcorp

Pharmacy


realghass

What the hell is CVS ? Middle eastern here


sangeli

Gotta be more like $60 these days after inflation


Imstillbased

She bought like 10 boxes of robogels and tryna hit 4th plat.


Hefty-Violinist-7469

The face of a man stuck on Tatooine


NotErikUden

iFunny Watermark


KioLaFek

Cash is king, ladies


Its_bigC

$6 at costco