I figured the lotion was for the controller handle 🤷
That’s me though! Shoving PlayStation controllers up my ass lubed up with lotion. With a snack on the side. Need to protein/carb boost for the long session…if you know what I mean 😉
Nothing wrong with that! Tons of us aren’t, not tonight. And that’s okay. We don’t need romantic love to be happy. The love of God, of our peers, and of ourselves is enough.
Doesn’t look like a bad way to spend the evening. At least you know how to get yourself off & don’t have to worry about being let down by a shitty partner
are you going to fuck the mcchicken?
No. He is going to fuck the fries.
I’m in the same boat as OP, may as well McFuck something from the bag at this point
No he is going to fuck the controller.
I read this in even more sarcasm.
No. He's going to stick random fries in his urethra!
Fucking ouch lmfaoo
Idk why but I read this in sarcasm.
It's called a micchubble
I figured the lotion was for the controller handle 🤷 That’s me though! Shoving PlayStation controllers up my ass lubed up with lotion. With a snack on the side. Need to protein/carb boost for the long session…if you know what I mean 😉
This gave me nam level flashbacks
No
COWARD
Can I fuck the McChicken?
I certainly would!
lil mar
"Undesired Celibacy." - Photography, Digital Media, u/the_GILF_next_door
Very nice
Thank you, I'm here all week.
Im here, all weak Fify
Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried a McChicken?
Add a bit of jerk seasoning and you're golden. Edit: typo
Is the jerk seasoning referring to the lotion?
Extra mayo
let me introduce to you, the mcgriddle 😋
EOUGHHHH i dont need the lotion anymore, holy cow mcgriddles are amazing
Wasn’t there a viral video about fucking a mcChicken? Or was I having a bad dream again
This is an art piece.
Thank you
Damnit,you’re right.
Yeah definitely!
The lotion. 💀
Hey man it’s winter, gotta keep your hands moisturized
plot twist: he’s Floridian 😈
Don’t put me on blast
naaahh, you’re the one doing all the blasting tonight 😈
I haven’t even begun to blast
do you want help blasting? happy to help anytime 😊
It’ll “intensely heal” his pain, for a solid 72 hours.
Thats mayo style sauce now
He puts it on the skin
> The lotion. 💀 i guess they didn't put enough mayo on that sandwich
Not with that attitude. Days not over yet.
It’s a wrap
It’s actually a burger with a side of fries
That is a mcchicken
I’m in your walls. It’s not over
I’m glad you know how to wrap. Stay safe out there
The contrast between the things on the table and type of furniture, just perfect, keep your head up
I’m sure OP intends to keep his head up with all that lotion.
I was thinking that too. That looks like some modern farmhouse furniture a woman picked out, yet the lotion and controller are probably a guy's....
Idk what you mean by that haha
Bro, if I did all this every night I didn’t get laid… then my nights would look exactly the way they already do.
Me neither. But that's fine, sex doesn't make one more or less of a person
found the virgin /s
Jokes on you, I had sex one time. 😝
Who puts McDonalds on a plate. Eat it in the parking lot like the rest of us.
Door dash
Lol "intense healing".
Dry dick
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She’s next door
Lollll Happy Valentine's Day homie
You too
The worst part is that there are no tissues. This man is wild
Not pictured
Sex isn't everything
Everything is sex
If you put enough McDonald's on it, it's close enough.
instructions unclear, i fucked the hamburger
Me neither man. Maybe next year.
I'm 36, friendless, and a virgin. It could be worse. 🥲
There’s a movie
Huh?
40 year old virgin
Yeah a comedy making fun of how pathetic I am makes me feel loads better.
You’re not pathetic. There’s no shame in being a virgin
At least you are staying moisturized!!
If I know one thing it’s moisturizing
Let us know how the controller tastes? Personally I'd add hot sauce.
Me neither, high five!
✋
Lol none of us are
Touché
type shit
Shit type
#
I hope you and your hand have a lovely night. lol
Thank you
You're very welcome 💗
Who needs motion when ya got lotion
Been single for the last 8 years bro... I know your pain
"intense healing"
Dam that’s deep, not getting laid tonight either but then again I would be to tired to anyways.
bro ordered a medium nivea
Still wasn’t enough
Not with that attitude!
Wait where’s your sock or tissue?
Not pictured
Hahaha love this post
Is it eat. Fap . Play ? Or a different order ?
Eat- Fap- Watch TV- Fap- Play- Fap- Snack- Fap
Doing the same shit man
Me neither bro
I'd be showing myself a good time after that set up. But you do you, or not.
It’s done
NOT THE LOTION
Red DualShock 4 with some mcdonalds and lube, my kind of meal!
A meal it was
username explains a lot
She’s next door
> Eating only one McChicken
Me either. Last night was wildly different though. 😎
You dog
Somehow the plate makes it even sadder
This belongs in a museum
Thank you
Who puts their McDonald's on a plate..
Same lmao
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Who tf cares? Lol
LISTEN. You can't be fine dining McDonalds on a plate like that, making the rest of us look like fuckin animals lol
I was told it’s an art form
guess i’ll volunteer
You’re a saint
based
Nothing wrong with that! Tons of us aren’t, not tonight. And that’s okay. We don’t need romantic love to be happy. The love of God, of our peers, and of ourselves is enough.
Thank you. I feel better after rubbing one out
Good to know!
Nice bottle of lotion.
Thank you
Me neither man! I just rubbed one out like you presumably
me neither, we are breaking up as i’m here lol. fml i wanted dick
I hope you find dick
Are any of us on here?
Boo hoo
This’s so.. single guy core
I don't think I will ever get laid again
That’s unfortunate
Lol
I hope you have a drink to wash that down friend
Tears
That's aight. Sometimes you have to work on you. Eh. You will be.
I've been married for 10 years, and neither am I. Only cause I'm on my period, and I don't like butt stuff. 🤷♀️
Me either lol. Looks like you’re completely booked for the night anyways lol
Nivea says otherwise.
The comments... HORNY JAIL FOR ALL for real though I hope OP is ok
I’m doing fine
We know what the “secret sauce” is going to be
No McHappy meal? :( depressed because your partner forgot it was Valentine’s Day and didn’t sleep with you? That’s rough buddy
I don’t have it that rough. Just single no lover
Lol .....it's too early 😂😂😂😂
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Sympathies
Lotion next to the McDonald’s is crazy lmfaoo
Crazy but effective
Don’t worry I cannot judge my finger is always on standby… lol 😭💀💀🤣
I love that the lotion says "Intense Healing". I feel like we all need some of that lol
Yes
But you have a mcchicken, which is better than sex.
Up for debate
Not with that attitude you’re not!
Doesn’t look like a bad way to spend the evening. At least you know how to get yourself off & don’t have to worry about being let down by a shitty partner
This is true. You’ve inspired me
If it makes you feel better, I barely ever get laid and I’m married. It’s all just empty promises, my friend
What’s it all for
You’re not alone dear friend
Me neither.
Me neither, but games are fun right?
I quit school cause of recess. Too many games
NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE!! u got a hand dont let another human effect u.
Tell me you're not gonna use that lotion on that McChicken... Tell me please!
me neither, not like i did any other day
Intense healing commenced
At least your skin will be hydrated
You just need to get the poison out and you'll be fine.
It’s a new day
Eliminate 2 of these things from your life and you won't need the third
That’s okay! You do have the lotion there
Oh I see the plan 👍🏻
Set it motion
I have the same coffee table! That’s a solid table right there. Definitely perfect for eating some McDonald’s.
Extra special sauce
It’s not even a Hot and Spicy McChicken what the heck?
Did you forget to get your girl something for v day.
Nice, a ps5 controller up the bum is the way to go.
It’s bc u still using the ps4
I would’ve had that same post most of my early twenties
Screw getting laid dude you got McDonald
this is better then getting laid
Ur hand is
Palmela Handerson ?
Mayo
Sooo ud rather stink if extra bonin am from the food ???? Odd and descusting ect if ur female yucky stank
McChicken should have mayo on it so no need for the lube.
the lotion 😭😭😭
I'm never getting laid again. And that's okay! Cos I dont feel the same pleasure from it normal ppl do! 👍
Comfort meal then more comfort afterwards. Sound like a good night sleep to me
is that a reason to be depressed? I haven't gotten laid in years!
you got it big dawg, i know that mc chickens was screamingggg