It’s a very hard choice, specially if you live in the west. I thought hey parents will be out of our lives but after having kids you need them unless you want to go broke.
I never got along with the parents but I have to grind my teeth but if it helps it helps.
Fwiw, plenty of people have kids that either don’t have parents alive, or don’t have a relationship with their parents. It’s absolutely possible to have kids and live without your parents involvement and not go broke…you just have to prepare and plan when you want to have a family.
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while.
I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back.
Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
Can you share your age ? It’s one thing if you’re 17, another if you’re 24.
You can always tell your parents that Jesus came to you in a dream and told you to be with him.
I am 26 and I work to take care of myself. I respect my parents and hence wanted to get married with their blessings. But it hurts they don't see the relationship is actually doing so much good for me
Without knowing the cultural implications or religious reasoning, with all due respect, forget what your parents think about this one. If it feels right, and you feel safe, and you feel loved, then that is what should be most important to not only you but your parents as well. Life happens once. Make the best of it while you can. Finding the right one is rare, and it shouldn't fall on others to make that choice for you.
You are not your parents’ toy, or robot, or tool. You’re a grown adult and this is YOUR life. It’s nice that you want their blessing to get married, but they’re using their religion as an excuse for why you can’t have the happiness you deserve. And that’s messed up.
You need to do what right for you and for your life. It's difficult disappointing parents, but as an dult it is absolutely your life and no one knows better than you. Follow your heart and tha safe space. Your parents will accept it eventually. I'm happy to hear that you find a safe person. I found mine just a couple ofbyears ago and it's been a blessing.
And have no contact with my parents.
So. You tell you finally find someone who has positive influence on you. Part of your struggle is an abusive father. Was your mother part of this abusive behavior, let's say through omission at least?
And now you wonder that those people do not feel the urge to make you happy?
If that is the case maybe you give this an extra thought.
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while.
I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back.
Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
i say this from a place of love, as i can relate to not wanting to upset anyone and wanting to keep the peace.
as hard as it is, you are your own person and are allowed to do what you want. you do not need permission from your parents or anyone else for that matter to marry this guy.
“Stand, without fear, against all odds, and promises he will do everything in his power to marry me.”
Come. On.
Just tell your parents that you’re an adult and it’s none of their business. End of story.
If they think they have a chance of convincing you otherwise, this crap will continue.
Girl this should be a celebration meal! This is one step closer to freedom from the suffering caused by the trauma your parents inflicted on you. Fuck ‘em!
I'm sorry, but fuck what your parents think. You only get one life and you need to live it for you. If you live for someone else you're not going to be happy. Being around the wrong people can seriously make your life a living hell. Enjoy being married to this man and be happy.
MARRY. 👏 HIM. 👏 ANYWAYS. 👏
I regret to inform you that your parents no longer will be a large part of a your life for a while, until they pull their head out of their asses and live their own lives instead of yours 🥰 sending love congrats on your engagement !!!!!
Maybe he could pretend to be Christian around them in order for your parents to leave y'all alone? It shouldn't be too hard if he's not atheist
At 26 it shouldn't be their decision tbh
It’s not your parents business who you marry, no matter your religion. If they care about that kind of thing, then they need to do some self-assessment and realign themselves with Christian values. It’s supposed to be about welcoming everyone into the fold, not ostracizing anything “other”.
Im not your parent, but I am a parent, and I super duper approve of this union. Your parents will get over their silliness or they won't. Whatever, you're still happy.
My father was a Jahovah's witness until he met my mother and converted. Now, if you are above the age of 18. Then your choice is your own. So do not let others dictate how to live your life. Let your own moral compass guide you.
@Loose-Village7448
Dad here, hey buddy, marriage is about YOU and your partner.
You need to make this decision for you!
It may be tough disappointing your parents, but this is YOUR life and happiness.
If your boyfriend/fiance truly makes you happy, then go marry him.
Best of luck and my very best wishes for you both!
Also, if your father was abusive, and your mother let it happen, your parents' opinion is hardly the one I would trust.
May the Force be with you both!
It is your life! You are the only one who should take decisions. Everything else doesn't make any sense. Try to learn more about yourself, learn more about your boundaries and then respect your boundaries. You are the one in charge, don't forget that.
Girl marry him and run far far away. Be happy. Blood doesn’t always mean family. I started my own family with my partner, I still talk to my family but it they aren’t good for me. He loves me for me not the idea of what I should be.
Its not the 50's... Please get married and enjoy your special someone. IMO (from xp) either they will get over themselves, Or u will move on. But religion is not a viable reason for any 2 people to allow it to impact there life anymore.
Ahhhh there is no hate like Christian love. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Ultimately they will probably get over it, they may make stupid some comments. But the fun part about parents is you can go no contact.
I saw in your replies that you respect them, but remember respect is a two way street. They need to earn your respect just as much as you needed to earn theirs when you were little. You are an adult, you are the ultimate decision maker in your life. Sure it's nice to get your parents blessings but if they'll only bless a union that will make you miserable that blessing isn't worth it.
Good luck and I hope you disregard them on this! Your food looks delicious too!
I agree but I'm afraid since my father is abusive and he has a history of hurting me and my sister physically (my mom too if she comes in between to stop him hitting us) if we do something he doesn't approve of. He never cared about our lives apart from when it came to something we did that he didn't like. At this point I'm really scared I'm putting my mom and sister in danger as well. Too much to handle!!
It sounds like you have found a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with. Your parents could be concerned because religious differences can often create a divide in an otherwise loving marriage. The same can be said for differences of opinion on money spending and having and raising children. These are the top three reasons that many marriages end in divorce. I hope their concern is only coming from a place of wanting to protect you from that.
As long as you and your partner are on the same page on these things, there should be no reason why you can't have a very happy and successful life together. Wishing you all the very best! 💕
It's your life. Live it.
If he is everything that you say, don't let go of him just because being with him is "a sin". You are the one entering into a marriage with him, not your parents.
My parents were not thrilled about my husband and I moving in together before marriage, but we had been together for 4 years, and we were already building a life together. They loosened up over time after seeing our commitment to each other. My husband asked my dad if he could marry me, knowing how much tradition meant to him, and my dad replied with, "All I want is for you two to be happy."
Your happiness and your personal well-being should come before any religious rule.
Sounds like looking at this you’ve come to sound and reasonable conclusions. If I were in your shoes, I would pursue what is benefiting my life. You sound happy secure and in love. Family can be hard but finding security and happiness are beautifully precious things.
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while.
I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back.
Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
I know it's hard when parents don't agree with our decisions. Parents don't know everything and are often wrong. If they cannot see your happiness and do not care if you are happy then you need to listen to yourself. You're young now, but old enough to start making your own decisions. Remember, it's your life and you are in control.
I eloped with my husband. When my mother found out she wanted me to get divorced. We’ve been married for 11 yrs. She eventually gave up pestering me because I wouldn’t budge.
You’re 26!! You don’t get married for your parents. if you’ve found your person, trust your gut! I married my spouse despite having a bit of pushback from my family. I can 100% say that our marriage is the best decision I’ve ever made.
I'm so sorry, it sucks when your parents don't agree with your choices. I know it's a hard decision to make, and I'm not going to say what you should do one way or the other. I hope you figure out what's right for you. Internet hugs!
“he is in a similar situation but he is able to stand without fear against all odds and promises he will do everything at his power to marry me if I promise to be strong and wait. I can't let him go as well!“ 🥺 what a man…. don’t let him go ❤️
I'm afraid my girlfriend and I will be in a similar situation one day when we decide to get married. She's a Christian(SDA), and I'm agnostic. We make each other very happy, and I always tell her that as long as it's up to me, I'll stay by her side through it all.
Also, marriages work because the people involved spend the time and effort to make them work. Being of the same faith guarantees NOTHING. I know plenty of failed marriages where both spouses practiced the same religion. There is no set formula for this stuff.
Be with whoever makes you happy, gives you a safe space, and brings you peace. That's priceless
Respectfully, without knowing too much of your life or any cultural issues, you said much of your trauma comes from your father's abuse. Your father, and the people who didn't stop him from abusing you, get no say in your future happiness or what you have to do to heal. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
I know it hard to go against your parents and very disappointing when they don’t feel the same way about your SO. It’s your life, if this man makes you feel safe and heard then I think getting married is the right decision.
If you aren't teenagers, then I don't see why your parents' opinion should matter. And if you're teenagers then yeah you shouldn't be getting married at all right now. That doesn't seem to be the case, so... Just do your thing. Go live your life and be happy :)
Maybe your parents need to hear that theres a lot of good christian men and bad christian men. You’ve found a good man and that’s more important than what he believes in.
As someone who had it ingrained into my brain that marrying someone who wasn’t of my religion was a horrible sin and I was gonna go straight to hell, fuck it. You’re 26 and you found someone who loves you and cares for you and you feel the exact same way. You cannot always make your parents happy and that’s okay. This is your life not theirs so do what will be good for you! Absolutely nothing will happen if you marry someone who isn’t from your religion. It’s okay to go against your parent’s wishes. Choose yourself and your happiness. Best of luck to you and your partner and I hope you guys have a long happy prosperous marriage!🩷
I know it sucks. Yes, you are an adult and don’t need anyone’s parent’s approval but it’s hurtful to know your own parents/ his parents feel a negative way about it.
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years. Married 3 and dated for 10. He says his parents love me, but they also said multiple times over the past 13 years that they wish he would have married a Russian or Ukrainian girl. They also treat me pretty bad and I know it’s because they are bitter about it. I don’t have a big, loving extended family that I always dreamed of. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter but it’s still hurtful.
If you truly love this man and truly believe that you 2 can be happy together, no ones opinion but yours and his matters. I understand wanting your parent's approval and you need to ask yourself if they are hurting or helping you by withholding that approval. Live your life, try your best not to hurt anyone, and fuck anyone who gets in the way of the life you want and deserve.
You got only one life to live, and you don't even know for how long. Live for yourself, not your parents. It would feel so much better with their blessings, but things don't always go our way. Just make sure to know them very well, live with them for some years before making the final commitment. If you're happy and in love, and are compatible at home, go for it!! Good luck <3
Everything is a sin to those buffoonish Christians. Marry the person you love, pursue your heart's desires, not the enforcement of your parents!
Spoken from a rebellious Catholic School student. It was hell. You have to subvert and undermine at every opportunity. They are assholes who make rules not worth following.
I know a fragment of what you are going through, but it is something to fight for, parents are not the be and end all. Sometimes, parents are just the end of you.
My Abuela and Abuelo were from 2 different religions and they love each other deeply/were married for decades :3
As long as you have open communication and respect for with your partner , you should be fine OP. You may have to step away from your parents for a bit though and that's okay too. I hope things go well OP <3
Duck what parents think. That exact situation has me here today. I didn't pursue the woman of my dreams cause of parental disapproval. Now, I am in meh sometimes, bad others, rare occasions good. Now I'm too old to pursue new love. Follow your heart.
You don't have to make yourself unhappy and miserable for the rest of your life just to satisfy your parents because they are sticking to a misinterpretation of religious texts written thousands of years ago when electricity and powder didn't even exist. They are putting prejudices and what people will say about them above the happiness of their children, God would not agree with that.
the person you’re marrying is not your parents decision. if they make you happy, do it. your lives together sound very happy.
It’s a very hard choice, specially if you live in the west. I thought hey parents will be out of our lives but after having kids you need them unless you want to go broke. I never got along with the parents but I have to grind my teeth but if it helps it helps.
Fwiw, plenty of people have kids that either don’t have parents alive, or don’t have a relationship with their parents. It’s absolutely possible to have kids and live without your parents involvement and not go broke…you just have to prepare and plan when you want to have a family.
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while. I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back. Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
Can you share your age ? It’s one thing if you’re 17, another if you’re 24. You can always tell your parents that Jesus came to you in a dream and told you to be with him.
I am 26 and I work to take care of myself. I respect my parents and hence wanted to get married with their blessings. But it hurts they don't see the relationship is actually doing so much good for me
You’re 26. Go do whatever you want!!! Don’t let your parents drag you down.
Without knowing the cultural implications or religious reasoning, with all due respect, forget what your parents think about this one. If it feels right, and you feel safe, and you feel loved, then that is what should be most important to not only you but your parents as well. Life happens once. Make the best of it while you can. Finding the right one is rare, and it shouldn't fall on others to make that choice for you.
I can see how you’re torn. I’m sorry you’re in this position. I hope you can still have this man in your life.
You are not your parents’ toy, or robot, or tool. You’re a grown adult and this is YOUR life. It’s nice that you want their blessing to get married, but they’re using their religion as an excuse for why you can’t have the happiness you deserve. And that’s messed up.
You need to do what right for you and for your life. It's difficult disappointing parents, but as an dult it is absolutely your life and no one knows better than you. Follow your heart and tha safe space. Your parents will accept it eventually. I'm happy to hear that you find a safe person. I found mine just a couple ofbyears ago and it's been a blessing. And have no contact with my parents.
Sometimes choosing what makes you happy will upset your parents and that’s gonna have to be okay. You’re not here at their every beck & whim.
So. You tell you finally find someone who has positive influence on you. Part of your struggle is an abusive father. Was your mother part of this abusive behavior, let's say through omission at least? And now you wonder that those people do not feel the urge to make you happy? If that is the case maybe you give this an extra thought.
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while. I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back. Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
i say this from a place of love, as i can relate to not wanting to upset anyone and wanting to keep the peace. as hard as it is, you are your own person and are allowed to do what you want. you do not need permission from your parents or anyone else for that matter to marry this guy.
Sounds like you need a safe space away from your parents
Are your parents marrying him? No? Then they should mind their business
Fuuuuuck Your parents On this on particularly.
Sucks for your parents!
“Stand, without fear, against all odds, and promises he will do everything in his power to marry me.” Come. On. Just tell your parents that you’re an adult and it’s none of their business. End of story. If they think they have a chance of convincing you otherwise, this crap will continue.
If he is your safe space and makes you happy you keep him. They have no right to keep you from being happy.
Your parents can ✨fuck off✨
Girl this should be a celebration meal! This is one step closer to freedom from the suffering caused by the trauma your parents inflicted on you. Fuck ‘em!
I'm sorry, but fuck what your parents think. You only get one life and you need to live it for you. If you live for someone else you're not going to be happy. Being around the wrong people can seriously make your life a living hell. Enjoy being married to this man and be happy.
MARRY. 👏 HIM. 👏 ANYWAYS. 👏 I regret to inform you that your parents no longer will be a large part of a your life for a while, until they pull their head out of their asses and live their own lives instead of yours 🥰 sending love congrats on your engagement !!!!!
The wedding will be cheaper. Go elope.
You’re 26..
Maybe he could pretend to be Christian around them in order for your parents to leave y'all alone? It shouldn't be too hard if he's not atheist At 26 it shouldn't be their decision tbh
Fuck em, do it anyways
It’s not your parents business who you marry, no matter your religion. If they care about that kind of thing, then they need to do some self-assessment and realign themselves with Christian values. It’s supposed to be about welcoming everyone into the fold, not ostracizing anything “other”.
Im not your parent, but I am a parent, and I super duper approve of this union. Your parents will get over their silliness or they won't. Whatever, you're still happy.
My father was a Jahovah's witness until he met my mother and converted. Now, if you are above the age of 18. Then your choice is your own. So do not let others dictate how to live your life. Let your own moral compass guide you.
@Loose-Village7448 Dad here, hey buddy, marriage is about YOU and your partner. You need to make this decision for you! It may be tough disappointing your parents, but this is YOUR life and happiness. If your boyfriend/fiance truly makes you happy, then go marry him. Best of luck and my very best wishes for you both! Also, if your father was abusive, and your mother let it happen, your parents' opinion is hardly the one I would trust. May the Force be with you both!
I just know you are desi
It is your life! You are the only one who should take decisions. Everything else doesn't make any sense. Try to learn more about yourself, learn more about your boundaries and then respect your boundaries. You are the one in charge, don't forget that.
Girl marry him and run far far away. Be happy. Blood doesn’t always mean family. I started my own family with my partner, I still talk to my family but it they aren’t good for me. He loves me for me not the idea of what I should be.
Don’t make a mistake, if you really feel like this is the one go for it. Your parents should be happy for you and more understanding.
Its not the 50's... Please get married and enjoy your special someone. IMO (from xp) either they will get over themselves, Or u will move on. But religion is not a viable reason for any 2 people to allow it to impact there life anymore.
You’re an adult. Tell your parents to go fuck themselves if they tell you what to do.
Ahhhh there is no hate like Christian love. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Ultimately they will probably get over it, they may make stupid some comments. But the fun part about parents is you can go no contact. I saw in your replies that you respect them, but remember respect is a two way street. They need to earn your respect just as much as you needed to earn theirs when you were little. You are an adult, you are the ultimate decision maker in your life. Sure it's nice to get your parents blessings but if they'll only bless a union that will make you miserable that blessing isn't worth it. Good luck and I hope you disregard them on this! Your food looks delicious too!
I agree but I'm afraid since my father is abusive and he has a history of hurting me and my sister physically (my mom too if she comes in between to stop him hitting us) if we do something he doesn't approve of. He never cared about our lives apart from when it came to something we did that he didn't like. At this point I'm really scared I'm putting my mom and sister in danger as well. Too much to handle!!
It sounds like you have found a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with. Your parents could be concerned because religious differences can often create a divide in an otherwise loving marriage. The same can be said for differences of opinion on money spending and having and raising children. These are the top three reasons that many marriages end in divorce. I hope their concern is only coming from a place of wanting to protect you from that. As long as you and your partner are on the same page on these things, there should be no reason why you can't have a very happy and successful life together. Wishing you all the very best! 💕
if you do what they want you're going to be unhappy.
You can’t live your life to please others. Do what you feel is right. They can’t shelter forever
Stand your ground ‼️👍
Your parents aren’t the ones getting married. Do what you want, it’s your life.
It's your life. Live it. If he is everything that you say, don't let go of him just because being with him is "a sin". You are the one entering into a marriage with him, not your parents. My parents were not thrilled about my husband and I moving in together before marriage, but we had been together for 4 years, and we were already building a life together. They loosened up over time after seeing our commitment to each other. My husband asked my dad if he could marry me, knowing how much tradition meant to him, and my dad replied with, "All I want is for you two to be happy." Your happiness and your personal well-being should come before any religious rule.
Sounds like looking at this you’ve come to sound and reasonable conclusions. If I were in your shoes, I would pursue what is benefiting my life. You sound happy secure and in love. Family can be hard but finding security and happiness are beautifully precious things.
Bruh, you’re 26. Do what you want!
Your parents don’t have a choice, marry him if you feel it’s right.
They were two strangers that got to become a family together and so do you.
Then elope!
Hello guys, thank you for all your comments I would like to reply to everyone individually but it looks like i have to get back to complete some work I've been postponing for a while. I am convinced I will marry this guy in a heartbeat and choose him over anyone but I'm really worried about my mum who has always defended me against my father's abuse and my little sister, I don't want to put their life in trauma as my father has the history of threatening me by hurting my mom when I was away from home a couple years back. Shit gets tough when the man who is supposed to make u feel protected turns out to be an unreasonable self centered man who only seeks his own happiness over others but I don't have anything against my mum, She raised me up, provided and protected in my father's place and i understand that she comes from the conservative background and hence not in agreement with an interreligious marriage but she would never do anything against my happiness. I'm just scared I'm putting them at stake for my desire. It's a complex situation and I will have to wait until i feel it's safe for all of us.
dont invite them! saves money at least
Fuck em. He make you happy; the wonder is you can find a new family!
I know it's hard when parents don't agree with our decisions. Parents don't know everything and are often wrong. If they cannot see your happiness and do not care if you are happy then you need to listen to yourself. You're young now, but old enough to start making your own decisions. Remember, it's your life and you are in control.
Sounds like my life 😓
not your parents decision, your life is yours and do what you need to do
I eloped with my husband. When my mother found out she wanted me to get divorced. We’ve been married for 11 yrs. She eventually gave up pestering me because I wouldn’t budge.
man fuck what your folks talkn bout. youre grown and so is he, if you listen to your parents you’ll regret it for a lifetime
You’re 26!! You don’t get married for your parents. if you’ve found your person, trust your gut! I married my spouse despite having a bit of pushback from my family. I can 100% say that our marriage is the best decision I’ve ever made.
Do whatever u want in this life and dont fucking answer to anybody.
Fuck your parents, it’s your life not theirs
You must be from india, most probably from south
I'm so sorry, it sucks when your parents don't agree with your choices. I know it's a hard decision to make, and I'm not going to say what you should do one way or the other. I hope you figure out what's right for you. Internet hugs!
“he is in a similar situation but he is able to stand without fear against all odds and promises he will do everything at his power to marry me if I promise to be strong and wait. I can't let him go as well!“ 🥺 what a man…. don’t let him go ❤️
Just remember. You get to throw them in a home. Remind them.
Your parents don't get to choose your love for you.
I'm afraid my girlfriend and I will be in a similar situation one day when we decide to get married. She's a Christian(SDA), and I'm agnostic. We make each other very happy, and I always tell her that as long as it's up to me, I'll stay by her side through it all. Also, marriages work because the people involved spend the time and effort to make them work. Being of the same faith guarantees NOTHING. I know plenty of failed marriages where both spouses practiced the same religion. There is no set formula for this stuff. Be with whoever makes you happy, gives you a safe space, and brings you peace. That's priceless
We broke up loll,
Respectfully, without knowing too much of your life or any cultural issues, you said much of your trauma comes from your father's abuse. Your father, and the people who didn't stop him from abusing you, get no say in your future happiness or what you have to do to heal. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
I know it hard to go against your parents and very disappointing when they don’t feel the same way about your SO. It’s your life, if this man makes you feel safe and heard then I think getting married is the right decision.
If you aren't teenagers, then I don't see why your parents' opinion should matter. And if you're teenagers then yeah you shouldn't be getting married at all right now. That doesn't seem to be the case, so... Just do your thing. Go live your life and be happy :)
Maybe your parents need to hear that theres a lot of good christian men and bad christian men. You’ve found a good man and that’s more important than what he believes in.
Well time to elope
Marry him and don't invite them to the wedding. Do not let them get in between you and happiness.
Screw your parents, be happy
Elope and cut your parents out of your lives.
As someone who had it ingrained into my brain that marrying someone who wasn’t of my religion was a horrible sin and I was gonna go straight to hell, fuck it. You’re 26 and you found someone who loves you and cares for you and you feel the exact same way. You cannot always make your parents happy and that’s okay. This is your life not theirs so do what will be good for you! Absolutely nothing will happen if you marry someone who isn’t from your religion. It’s okay to go against your parent’s wishes. Choose yourself and your happiness. Best of luck to you and your partner and I hope you guys have a long happy prosperous marriage!🩷
Fuck that shit!!!
Too bad YOU GUYS are getting married and not your parents. screw them, elope. sucks and hurts but 🤷🏾♀️ your happiness first
If you live for anyone else but yourself your asking for a lifetime of disappointment and depression
Well look at it this way, if you fall "in the pit" he will jump in with you. That's love.
Just say he's a Church of England, we're all welcoming, even if you're not a true believer.
I know it sucks. Yes, you are an adult and don’t need anyone’s parent’s approval but it’s hurtful to know your own parents/ his parents feel a negative way about it. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years. Married 3 and dated for 10. He says his parents love me, but they also said multiple times over the past 13 years that they wish he would have married a Russian or Ukrainian girl. They also treat me pretty bad and I know it’s because they are bitter about it. I don’t have a big, loving extended family that I always dreamed of. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter but it’s still hurtful.
I’d leave my family in my dust if they dissed on my partner, let alone my future-possible spouse. Tell your parents to get on somewhere
If you truly love this man and truly believe that you 2 can be happy together, no ones opinion but yours and his matters. I understand wanting your parent's approval and you need to ask yourself if they are hurting or helping you by withholding that approval. Live your life, try your best not to hurt anyone, and fuck anyone who gets in the way of the life you want and deserve.
You got only one life to live, and you don't even know for how long. Live for yourself, not your parents. It would feel so much better with their blessings, but things don't always go our way. Just make sure to know them very well, live with them for some years before making the final commitment. If you're happy and in love, and are compatible at home, go for it!! Good luck <3
Everything is a sin to those buffoonish Christians. Marry the person you love, pursue your heart's desires, not the enforcement of your parents! Spoken from a rebellious Catholic School student. It was hell. You have to subvert and undermine at every opportunity. They are assholes who make rules not worth following. I know a fragment of what you are going through, but it is something to fight for, parents are not the be and end all. Sometimes, parents are just the end of you.
My Abuela and Abuelo were from 2 different religions and they love each other deeply/were married for decades :3 As long as you have open communication and respect for with your partner , you should be fine OP. You may have to step away from your parents for a bit though and that's okay too. I hope things go well OP <3
Duck what parents think. That exact situation has me here today. I didn't pursue the woman of my dreams cause of parental disapproval. Now, I am in meh sometimes, bad others, rare occasions good. Now I'm too old to pursue new love. Follow your heart.
Ancient words of wisdom…. Fuck em! If you love the person, be with that person no matter what and do What makes you and your love happy
You don't have to make yourself unhappy and miserable for the rest of your life just to satisfy your parents because they are sticking to a misinterpretation of religious texts written thousands of years ago when electricity and powder didn't even exist. They are putting prejudices and what people will say about them above the happiness of their children, God would not agree with that.
So
Does he follow a different religion, or is he anti god? It’s not a sin otherwise
He is from a different religious background, not against God nor super religious as well.
So its like a cross religious thing? Im sorry you have to go through all this *Hug*
Which one of you isn’t Christian? Couldn’t you both just go to church weekly to satisfy your parents?
They’re adults. They should not have to “satisfy” their parents
That’s great, but we live in the real world where social diplomacy has a lot of practical benefits.