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“I don’t want her on any kind of birth control, even if it’s just for cramping or skin issues. Because my daughter should be sexless and pure for her entire life.” (Or until he finds someone he approves of or gives him enough of a bride price 🙄😩)
That kind of dumbass dinosaur attitude.
I posted it because it's the "best case scenario" and even then it's horrible. I was trying to think outside the automatic presumption. Plus I think it's funny to think, what kind of reason would a father have to want to be there when the doctor checked; it must be something they discussed and he didn't believe her...
In my head it was like, "What?! You're BLEEDING from THERE!! Let's get down to the doctor right away! i want to know what is going on!!"
I know this is a joke, but there are legitimately stories of MARRIED MEN who aren't aware of how periods work or what they're caused or by or affect. So ignorance is actually incredibly common in this subject because "girls icky!"
I'm nosey and overprotective of my daughter that doesn't mean I want to see what her downstairs looks like, ever. Il sit outside and wait she would tell me if something was off.
Ummm. I think you.mudt be form the old school of thought where numbers of child abuse were low. They are actually astronomical. So doesn't ring that way to me.
I’m a girl and I’m in my thirties. Even if she were a minor this would be wildly inappropriate. I had an exam done when I was 15-16, and it was just me and the doctor.
If that doctor was a woman that would fine. Usually, if the doctor is a man they have a female MA or nurse present as well. That’s standard practice for everyone’s safety.
I don’t even think that is CPS anymore as she is now an adult. I also think with the patient to doctor confidentiality stuff he should have been escorted out immediately unless he had something else to do in the hospital (don’t quote me, I don’t know exactly how those laws work).
If he refuses to leave he gets trespassed and taken out by cops.
He could've assaulted her when she was a minor, regardless, that's usually a red flag for abusers, they often want to be present and if her body language involves fear then the physician can pick up the red flags.
20:1 they are an ultra Christian right wing family. And she had promised her virginity and purity to her father until marriage and he was suspicious that she had been sexually active.
That is somewhat better than what I was thinking. My first thought was he wanted to be there to prevent her from telling the doctor about the father's sexual abuse.
My fist thought, too.
I seriously hope he's just an overcontolling religo-dad instead. I would not normally wish that on someone, but it's so much better than the alternative.....
I remember that, the whole "HPV vaccine will turn my daughter into a slut" BS
It's why I'm sure the guy who creates an AIDS vaccine will be shot at for "turning my son gay"
My mother had seriously awful menstrual cycles, and my grandmother refused to allow her the birth control pill, for this exact reason. This was late 70s-80s
Prep has, effectively, cured HIV... it reduces the virus to undetectable levels and prevents transmission or development of AIDS.
So like... we're not waiting on an AIDS vaccine here. The problem with prep is that it's obscenely expensive because of out of control pharma profiteering and the fact that there's plenty of people out there who believe that "they" should be punished for their lifestyle. Preferably by getting a fatal disease, but if not, at least paying through the nose for the privilege of not dying.
They're the kind of people who believe that the only way people will be "good" is if they're being threatened with punishment.
If women die from cervical cancer because they had sex, that'll keep their legs shut, until a husband wants them open.
If gays die from AIDS, that'll keep them straight, fearful, and grieving.
If trans kids die from violence and suicide, that'll keep them in the "right" gender, the *groomers*.
If POCs are shot by police for no reason at all, that'll keep them in their place, because white folks have already given them *too much*.
The straight white males, you ask? Oh, they're there to do the punishing. And the rich ones are there to command them, because only a rich man on a camel can lead a poor man into heaven or something like that, right? Pass the plate, by the way, pastor needs a new plane.
Nevermind that this is all in direct opposition to the teachings of Jesus. Nevermind that God's will always seems to first be announced on FOX News.
These are the kinds of people who believe that nobody would act with grace without the promise of heaven, and that nobody would refrain from evil without the punishment of eternal damnation. And that all it takes for you to be a Christian is to pray loudly in the forum, and hate your neighbors as much as you love yourself.
And wouldn't have believed the doctor telling them there is no medical way to measure "virginity" and in fact "virginity" isn't a scientific or medical term or concept.
When our oldest daughter was having gyno "issues", my wife was unable to accompany her, My daughter asked if I would go with her. I didn't then, and still don't, see a problem. I did state however, "if the stirrups come out, I'm leaving"!
Yes, the fact that health insurance policies are tied to our jobs, spouses and/or our parents is another example of how living in a corporatocracy hellbent on profits over people and wealth over health does nothing but exploit and enslave the working class, and their dependents.
Yep. I can't imagine having to think about "I can't quit my job this week because I have a doctors appointment next month, and I need to have coverage for that". Fuck that, job sucks, get the fuck out.
But this is the only way the pseudo slavery capitalist system we have in the US works! If people could just quit jobs without factoring in their and their family's health concerns, no one would work for exploitive companies at all and that would destroy our retirement programs by requiring companies to invest more in worker happiness instead of giving shareholders higher dividends. Yeah, it's messed up.
There was a post on mildlyinfuriating about someone had stroke symptoms so they went to the hospital and immediately got a CT scan and when a doctor checked their ears after the scan it was just an ear infection. Now they have to pay for a CT scan
Speaking for my dad, never. He hated me because I quit doing what he said without question. He wanted me to give him every penny I had plus some so he could buy something to give to my sister. He had more than enough money to cover it, but he didn’t want to spend HIS money, he wanted my money to get this huge gift for my sister. Sister and I were both in our 40’s at the time.
>Holy shit. I missed the 19 part. Lol, what the hell? When are they willing to let go and accept their children are adults with free will.
There's a certain class of people who want to dictate decisions relating to all women's sexual activity and personal health choices including those of total strangers. So how much more so a daughter?
My husbands side of the family kicked their teenage daughter in college out because she wasn’t home for 10pm curfew and was going to parties with the other kids. Didn’t say she was drinking. But they have her phone tracked because she is a Type 1 diabetic. And based that as their reasoning she couldn’t live with them anymore. Last I saw she decided to roadtrip in a van.
I had, and sometimes still do, depend(ed) on my parents (mostly my mother, since my late couldn't be arsed to most of the time) as an autistic adult who's always lived in areas with non-existent or unreliable public transport, to drive me.
Granted, growing up as male I didn't have any doctors appointments so personal, but I was much more introverted and anxious in my teen/college years. I often asked my parents if they could come with me to appointments through college even though I got my license at 16. But my dad is just like that, he'll often ask if we (my mom, sister, and I) want him along as a second set of ears, because sometimes at an appointment you just get inundated with questions/info in the short time they give you that sometimes you forget to ask a question you had, or forget something specific they said lol.
But it's always been very clear from my parents that if we only wanted them there in the waiting room that was fine, too.
As the mom of a 15 year old boy, I don't even go into the room for his yearly check up. The doctor does he exam and comes to get me at the end to see if there's anything else I want to discuss. I can't imagine that level of controlling.
He has been in the news for insisting he accompany an adult daughter to the gynecologist. After the exam, TI would speak to the doctor to "check her hymen" and "make sure it's still inact." Eeewwwww. From 2020[TI daughter hymen check ](https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/06/ti-daughter-deyjah-gynecologist-comments#:~:text=Last%20fall%2C%20T.I.%20created%20headlines,revealed%20how%20she%20felt%20about).
What's worse is the doctor told him that it was largely a myth and that anything from horse-riding to exercise can tear a hymen and his response was "she doesn't ride horses".
Not the only gross shit TI is suspected of. Many people report him doing weird shit like skirting the line of entrapping/kidnapping women by bringing them to sex parties and taking their phones and making them sign waivers. Stuff like that.
That doesn't remove all concerns. Obviously abusive gynecologists of either gender aren't the norm, but there are deviants and perverts on both sides of the gender line that work in that field.
Remember, not every woman is straight, or capable of empathy. It's a funny little world we live in sometimes.
Clearly the problem in this scenario is the dad, not the doctor. The daughter is fine being looked at, it's her dad who has a problem. He isn't allowed to have a problem with it, she isn't his property.
Yep. If it was a student, I'd probably say yes because I get that they need the learning opportunities but I don't really want more people in the room than necessary. I'm glad it's an option for those who prefer it, though.
My doctor's office does it automatically. Idk if I could ask for the chaperone to leave? Honestly it's probably to protect the doctor as much as the patient.
Still working on that whole "you're the property of your father until you're the property of a husband" mindset. Check back in 50 years to see if we've made progress yet
Sounds like a toxic father who wants to ensure his daughter is virgin for decades and wants to know every single thing about her physical condition and sex life.
No, it sounds like an abuser who wants to make sure his daughter doesn’t say something he doesn’t want her to during the exam, or that the doctor doesn’t *find* any reason to ask additional questions or involve authorities.
Those ones try to keep their victims away from doctors completely and it's usually much younger kids.
But it's not unlikely either which is so obscene.
I’ve seen real life moments like this, so, just instinct kicks in and that’s how I see it. Plus, abusers can start hurting them when they’re young, but it’s not like they have infinite chances to escape or ask for help. So an older teenager is just as vulnerable as a 6yo in my eyes.
Doctors and Gyns will very often offer patients some way to talk to them in private if they came with another person, be that a parent or partner. That's to give them an opportunity to report domestic abuse and ask for help without having to fear retaliation.
This is anything from overprotective "the doctor will rape her" to "the doctor will find out that I'm raping her," with snooping on the daughter's sex life somewhere in the middle. Anything more definitive is idiotic.
What’s the big deal? Dad just wants to be there in case any tough questions about evidence of SA come up. You know. Process of elimination. Alibi confirmation. Facts. /s
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginity-testing-rapper-ti-says-he-visits-gynecologist-every-year-with-daughter-deyjah-to-check-her-hymen/#:~:text=Entertainment-,Rapper%20T.I.%20says%20he%20visits%20the%20gynecologist%20every,daughter%20to%20%22check%20her%20hymen%22&text=T.I.%20is%20facing%20backlash%20on,her%20hymen%22%20is%20still%20intact.
Sounds like what the Rapper T.I. does...
Hi, I am a father of a lady type human. For the first 18 years of her life I told her it was my job to make sure she had 50% less fun. When she turned 18, I advised her that 100% of the fun responsibility was completely on her. To my astonishment, that's when she took the time to call home and tell us where she was at night and when she was going to be home.
Having stated the above, I want you to know that I cannot fathom this father's concept of needing to attend to something that must be between his own kid and her doctor - especially at aged 19. Not even EVER would I honestly have to insist to be present during my kid's own gynecological exam no matter the age. It's fucking perplexing and invasive, and will never land in my mind as protective, regardless. If the doc is male, they have a female present, am I mistaken? Again, even still... for fuck's sake, what the fuck business does that man have ....
Oh, I've been trolled by rage-bait haven't I? Dagnabbit.
I mean, this is probably a very fucked situation but the headcanon I am telling myself is that she may possibly be mentally ill or suffering with a hidden disability such as BiPolar or Autism Spectrum Disorder. When I worked in medicine I sometimes would see a parent go with a very normal looking teenager into a very unusual or gross doctors situation, and I would judge them only to later find out the girl was mentally ill and just didn't show it (see: "invisible" disability) and the parent would feel like their child simply doesn't have the mental capability to deal with the possibility of trauma from the procedure. Again, this situation is more likely to be negative but I just thought I would throw a very real (but small) possibility that not all people in the world are evil.
I agree with your consideration. However, if you have a special needs child, you should align this already while making the appointment, to avoid such discussions in public. And parents who honestly care for their special needs children usually do.
People who have such discussions in the waiting room or a similar setting are usually not those with the good (but considered embarrassing) arguments.
Dude I never felt like a bigger pervert in my life then the last time I had to take my daughter to hers. I just did the awkward read of a 18 month old better homes and garden mag in the waiting room. While I got mean mugged by the two older ladies. I'm all for helping out my kids and it's not like I wanted to go back with her or anything.
Some flags are red. Some dad's are just really weird about their daughters too. I had to go on birth control at 14 to regulate my extremely heavy periods and my dad wouldn't allow me to because he assumed I would automatically start having sex because of it. It took my extremely catholic grandmother to basically slap some common sense into him to say that it's a medical necessity. This was my situation though.
A little bit of a humblebrag, but I had taken my 15-year-old daughter to the doctor for a recurring issue. At the conclusion of the appointment, I asked her if she wanted me to leave the room so she could speak with the doctor about anything else. She declined, but I could tell she appreciated it.
Jesus.. I think my kids were like 8 and 10 (maybe younger?) when I would go in with them to their GP answer any questions and then ask them if they wanted me to leave... They can't ask the DR embarrassing stuff, and there's always a nurse present during kids exams at the doctor they went to, so I let them have privacy.
I also started asking them for permission to post their pictures when I wanted to. I'm definitely in the minority lol
As a dad to a daughter I promise that I will never be like this to my daughter. If my daughter doesn’t feel comfortable telling me something, either I shouldn’t be involved and it a conversation for my wife to have with her, or I haven’t done my job as a loving father. I am going to work my ass off to make sure she always feels safe and comfortable telling me anything without fear of being rejected.
From a non perverse standpoint, what if the father has had a past where he’s seen how evil people can be and he just wants to be her advocate. However, I wouldn’t want my dad IN the room but if my dad wanted to support me, I’d ask if he could stand outside the door. I had my mom for those things but my dr actually told my mom she couldn’t come in for my exams as a teen because I was “grown enough”.
It could be an over protective dad. There's a clinic across the street from my house. One day I saw a bunch of cruisers in front of it, and one of the doctors had been hauled away.
Turns out he was a gyno that had been sexually abusing his patients.
As a father myself that's still changing diapers, I've seen what my daughter looks like, as any rational parent its just that: nudity. I'd want to make sure that doctor don't do anything funny.
But that's also just a personal anecdote, and this situation could be many things. He could be assaulting his own daughter, he could be trying to find out if her and her boyfriend are doing bedroom stuff.
Not much context to go off of here other than what's provided. But In terms of law, doctor is right, it's up to the patient who goes in and out of that room.
That’s horrible but it could be a cultural thing where medieval practices like verifying a daughter’s virginity because the family’s honor is at stake. Pretty sure this is common practice in parts of the world today.
Nah… my daughter gets to that point(i dont want my little girl to grow up:( ) but she is gonna be doing that on her own… thats her business, not mine at that point
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Dad: "I think you are lying to me about your vagina."
Or, as someone above mentioned, he might be worried she'll expose his sexual abuse
Most likely one of those "iS mY dAuGhTer sTiLL A vIrGiN?!?"
“I don’t want her on any kind of birth control, even if it’s just for cramping or skin issues. Because my daughter should be sexless and pure for her entire life.” (Or until he finds someone he approves of or gives him enough of a bride price 🙄😩) That kind of dumbass dinosaur attitude.
Bingo.
Sure but more likely he’s nosey and overprotective.
Lets all hope that's all it is, as crazy as that is
I sure hope that's all it is but how likely is that? :( What normal father wants to go into a gyno's office with his daughter?
I posted it because it's the "best case scenario" and even then it's horrible. I was trying to think outside the automatic presumption. Plus I think it's funny to think, what kind of reason would a father have to want to be there when the doctor checked; it must be something they discussed and he didn't believe her... In my head it was like, "What?! You're BLEEDING from THERE!! Let's get down to the doctor right away! i want to know what is going on!!"
I know this is a joke, but there are legitimately stories of MARRIED MEN who aren't aware of how periods work or what they're caused or by or affect. So ignorance is actually incredibly common in this subject because "girls icky!"
Oh he’s definitely not normal
Straight up. You razing children and you don't know this line???
I'm nosey and overprotective of my daughter that doesn't mean I want to see what her downstairs looks like, ever. Il sit outside and wait she would tell me if something was off.
You mean controlling. She's 19. That guy's probably a psycho.
Ummm. I think you.mudt be form the old school of thought where numbers of child abuse were low. They are actually astronomical. So doesn't ring that way to me.
Right here!
Or to make sure she's still a virgin... ick
This is most likely.
100% this.
Or the girl is pregnant, and the dad doesn't want her to tell the doctor that he's the baby daddy!
She could have been younger than 19 too!
Is this the Soviet Union because there are alot of red flags
Red flags is an understatement. That poor girl.
She’s not a girl. She’s 19. She’s a woman and he has absolutely no fucking right to treat an adult this way.
I’m a girl and I’m in my thirties. Even if she were a minor this would be wildly inappropriate. I had an exam done when I was 15-16, and it was just me and the doctor.
If that doctor was a woman that would fine. Usually, if the doctor is a man they have a female MA or nurse present as well. That’s standard practice for everyone’s safety.
Needs to have CPS called in, very sketchy behavior, might be a sexual abuser.
I don’t even think that is CPS anymore as she is now an adult. I also think with the patient to doctor confidentiality stuff he should have been escorted out immediately unless he had something else to do in the hospital (don’t quote me, I don’t know exactly how those laws work). If he refuses to leave he gets trespassed and taken out by cops.
He could've assaulted her when she was a minor, regardless, that's usually a red flag for abusers, they often want to be present and if her body language involves fear then the physician can pick up the red flags.
… yeah, that’s still not a CPS thing. That would be whatever local law enforcement agencies jurisdiction the suspected abuse happened in.
Pretty sure Dad wanted to listen to any conversation about whether the girl was sexually active.
20:1 they are an ultra Christian right wing family. And she had promised her virginity and purity to her father until marriage and he was suspicious that she had been sexually active.
That is somewhat better than what I was thinking. My first thought was he wanted to be there to prevent her from telling the doctor about the father's sexual abuse.
Strong overlap with those two scenarios.
As in, that venn diagram is a circle, or almost a circle.
Look I try to stay inside the lines when coloring but it’s hard. That’s why this Venn diagram circle is all white.
That could be too.
My fist thought, too. I seriously hope he's just an overcontolling religo-dad instead. I would not normally wish that on someone, but it's so much better than the alternative.....
This was my first thought too. Probably more likely she just doesn’t want her dad knowing about her sexual activity
Oh, it could be both. What dad does to you at home doesn't count.
This is 100% what I'm thinking.
same
Same reason they won't allow their child to get the HPV vaccine, even before 2020 made anti-vaxx popular among that set.
I remember that, the whole "HPV vaccine will turn my daughter into a slut" BS It's why I'm sure the guy who creates an AIDS vaccine will be shot at for "turning my son gay"
We had a neighbor who seriously took that “HPV will make my daughter a whore” position. My wife almost hit her.
My mother had seriously awful menstrual cycles, and my grandmother refused to allow her the birth control pill, for this exact reason. This was late 70s-80s
My mother was a total.bitch but she was totally behind me getting bc to regulate my periods. She still.thought I was a virgin when I married.
Prep has, effectively, cured HIV... it reduces the virus to undetectable levels and prevents transmission or development of AIDS. So like... we're not waiting on an AIDS vaccine here. The problem with prep is that it's obscenely expensive because of out of control pharma profiteering and the fact that there's plenty of people out there who believe that "they" should be punished for their lifestyle. Preferably by getting a fatal disease, but if not, at least paying through the nose for the privilege of not dying.
They're the kind of people who believe that the only way people will be "good" is if they're being threatened with punishment. If women die from cervical cancer because they had sex, that'll keep their legs shut, until a husband wants them open. If gays die from AIDS, that'll keep them straight, fearful, and grieving. If trans kids die from violence and suicide, that'll keep them in the "right" gender, the *groomers*. If POCs are shot by police for no reason at all, that'll keep them in their place, because white folks have already given them *too much*. The straight white males, you ask? Oh, they're there to do the punishing. And the rich ones are there to command them, because only a rich man on a camel can lead a poor man into heaven or something like that, right? Pass the plate, by the way, pastor needs a new plane. Nevermind that this is all in direct opposition to the teachings of Jesus. Nevermind that God's will always seems to first be announced on FOX News. These are the kinds of people who believe that nobody would act with grace without the promise of heaven, and that nobody would refrain from evil without the punishment of eternal damnation. And that all it takes for you to be a Christian is to pray loudly in the forum, and hate your neighbors as much as you love yourself.
In that case it should be a woman. She'll be safe for sure /s
I was thinking he’s raping her and doesn’t want her to tell her doctor.
Can Dr say to demanding daddy, ‘You raise my suspicions sir’, or would that be medically unethical. Or legally hazardous.
And wouldn't have believed the doctor telling them there is no medical way to measure "virginity" and in fact "virginity" isn't a scientific or medical term or concept.
100%
Gross. All kinds of gross. Couldve not wanted her to say too much and intimidate her from speaking up about something worse..
I was thinking the same except that he knew she’d been sexually active and wanted her to keep her mouth shut like a good girl.
I hate that this exists.
With anyone but him. Sexually active with anyone but him.
I wouldn’t even take that bet with those odds.
Yeah, this is probably it.
I don’t think anyone else is taking more than a 1:1 odd on that. Its probably 1:0.5
Or monitor questions about whether she feels safe at home
This was my thought too.
He tried to pull a T.I.
Also potentially "So long as you live under my roof, you are not going to be on birth control. You are not to have sex until marriage!"
When our oldest daughter was having gyno "issues", my wife was unable to accompany her, My daughter asked if I would go with her. I didn't then, and still don't, see a problem. I did state however, "if the stirrups come out, I'm leaving"!
Difference is that you were asked to attend according to your daughters will where this person is insisting against his daughters will.
That's not any of his damn business lmao
She's an adult. Why is her dad even there?
He probably told her, "you're still on *my* health insurance policy, so I *will* be attending"
And yet another reason on why healthcare should be free at time of visit!
Yes, the fact that health insurance policies are tied to our jobs, spouses and/or our parents is another example of how living in a corporatocracy hellbent on profits over people and wealth over health does nothing but exploit and enslave the working class, and their dependents.
Yep. I can't imagine having to think about "I can't quit my job this week because I have a doctors appointment next month, and I need to have coverage for that". Fuck that, job sucks, get the fuck out.
But this is the only way the pseudo slavery capitalist system we have in the US works! If people could just quit jobs without factoring in their and their family's health concerns, no one would work for exploitive companies at all and that would destroy our retirement programs by requiring companies to invest more in worker happiness instead of giving shareholders higher dividends. Yeah, it's messed up.
I stayed at a job that was making me near suicidal because I carried the health insurance for my family. And me.
Hey, that's me right now! I'd kill to leave, but alas
Hang in there with us! And good luck
There was a post on mildlyinfuriating about someone had stroke symptoms so they went to the hospital and immediately got a CT scan and when a doctor checked their ears after the scan it was just an ear infection. Now they have to pay for a CT scan
Thank Reagan. He created the law requiring employers to provide their employees health insurance.
My mom told me, "even if you smoke/vape, don't tell the doctor because it can make the insurance costs go up." Sometimes I really hate the US
There's a possibility that the daughter didn't have her driver's license? But, with how controlling the father already seems to be,, :/
Holy shit. I missed the 19 part. Lol, what the hell? When are they willing to let go and accept their children are adults with free will.
Speaking for my dad, never. He hated me because I quit doing what he said without question. He wanted me to give him every penny I had plus some so he could buy something to give to my sister. He had more than enough money to cover it, but he didn’t want to spend HIS money, he wanted my money to get this huge gift for my sister. Sister and I were both in our 40’s at the time.
jesus christ.
>Holy shit. I missed the 19 part. Lol, what the hell? When are they willing to let go and accept their children are adults with free will. There's a certain class of people who want to dictate decisions relating to all women's sexual activity and personal health choices including those of total strangers. So how much more so a daughter?
My husbands side of the family kicked their teenage daughter in college out because she wasn’t home for 10pm curfew and was going to parties with the other kids. Didn’t say she was drinking. But they have her phone tracked because she is a Type 1 diabetic. And based that as their reasoning she couldn’t live with them anymore. Last I saw she decided to roadtrip in a van.
Somehow I don't think that's what's going on here....
There are entire subreddits dedicated to parents who refuse to let go.
I could be wrong but what if ol dad wanted to make sure she didn't say anything about him being a little touchy Feely you know what I mean.
I had, and sometimes still do, depend(ed) on my parents (mostly my mother, since my late couldn't be arsed to most of the time) as an autistic adult who's always lived in areas with non-existent or unreliable public transport, to drive me.
Granted, growing up as male I didn't have any doctors appointments so personal, but I was much more introverted and anxious in my teen/college years. I often asked my parents if they could come with me to appointments through college even though I got my license at 16. But my dad is just like that, he'll often ask if we (my mom, sister, and I) want him along as a second set of ears, because sometimes at an appointment you just get inundated with questions/info in the short time they give you that sometimes you forget to ask a question you had, or forget something specific they said lol. But it's always been very clear from my parents that if we only wanted them there in the waiting room that was fine, too.
As the mom of a 15 year old boy, I don't even go into the room for his yearly check up. The doctor does he exam and comes to get me at the end to see if there's anything else I want to discuss. I can't imagine that level of controlling.
Likely living within the household still so Dad has power to play, I am sure the conversation on the ride back home was pleasant.
Is her dad TI?
Are you talking about TI the rapper? 'Cause I have no idea what you mean.
He has been in the news for insisting he accompany an adult daughter to the gynecologist. After the exam, TI would speak to the doctor to "check her hymen" and "make sure it's still inact." Eeewwwww. From 2020[TI daughter hymen check ](https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/06/ti-daughter-deyjah-gynecologist-comments#:~:text=Last%20fall%2C%20T.I.%20created%20headlines,revealed%20how%20she%20felt%20about).
Just reading that disgusts me. My mother would threaten me and my sisters with the same thing when we were teens, safe to say we don't talk anymore
Guess that little rule backfired on her, didn't it?
Sure did, neither parent knows who I am and it's great
Who you are or where you are?
Both they know the state I live in that's about it
What's worse is the doctor told him that it was largely a myth and that anything from horse-riding to exercise can tear a hymen and his response was "she doesn't ride horses".
Ahhh, Okay. 👀
Not the only gross shit TI is suspected of. Many people report him doing weird shit like skirting the line of entrapping/kidnapping women by bringing them to sex parties and taking their phones and making them sign waivers. Stuff like that.
Those accusations went away but things keep coming back up.
I’m sure they did, under the table 🤣
Texas Instruments. A microcontroller manufacturer who famously rips off students with overpriced calculators.
I would rather be on fire than watch my daughters gyno
If he's worried about the doctor, you can always ask a nurse to accompany the exam.
I'm sure you're correct, but later in the thread the same lady explained that the gynocologist is also a woman.
That doesn't remove all concerns. Obviously abusive gynecologists of either gender aren't the norm, but there are deviants and perverts on both sides of the gender line that work in that field. Remember, not every woman is straight, or capable of empathy. It's a funny little world we live in sometimes.
Clearly the problem in this scenario is the dad, not the doctor. The daughter is fine being looked at, it's her dad who has a problem. He isn't allowed to have a problem with it, she isn't his property.
I'm pretty sure it's required now to have a 2nd person
Not required to have. Just required to give the option.
Yup, I was just at the gyno a few months ago; she gave the option for a second person; I said I was fine; the exam proceeded.
Yep. If it was a student, I'd probably say yes because I get that they need the learning opportunities but I don't really want more people in the room than necessary. I'm glad it's an option for those who prefer it, though.
My doctor's office does it automatically. Idk if I could ask for the chaperone to leave? Honestly it's probably to protect the doctor as much as the patient.
Depends on the state. Some states require it be an option but not all. Many institutions require it be an option.
Still working on that whole "you're the property of your father until you're the property of a husband" mindset. Check back in 50 years to see if we've made progress yet
Progress? We’re going backwards. 50 years ago I marched for abortion rights and am in disbelief over what is happening now.
Sounds like a toxic father who wants to ensure his daughter is virgin for decades and wants to know every single thing about her physical condition and sex life.
No, it sounds like an abuser who wants to make sure his daughter doesn’t say something he doesn’t want her to during the exam, or that the doctor doesn’t *find* any reason to ask additional questions or involve authorities.
Those ones try to keep their victims away from doctors completely and it's usually much younger kids. But it's not unlikely either which is so obscene.
I’ve seen real life moments like this, so, just instinct kicks in and that’s how I see it. Plus, abusers can start hurting them when they’re young, but it’s not like they have infinite chances to escape or ask for help. So an older teenager is just as vulnerable as a 6yo in my eyes.
r/incestconfessions
The top story “teasing my son” under sort by hot posts is fucking wild.
What the holy hell?!!! Why? Just...WHY?!! Subreddits like these make me lose every single ounce of faith in humanity. :(
Often, I look at suggested subreddits and think to myself "fuck that".
I really hope those posters are just making the stories up 🤮
I thought this would be about stories from sexual abuse victims or something not … that
These be the same chuds that want sex education pulled from schools too.
40 years later... "Why did my daughter stick me in this shitty nursing home? And why doesn't she at least call or visit?"
Sounds like the Duggar family.
That's the older brother, sadly.
As the father of a daughter, there is no fucking way I want to be in the room for my daughter’s gyno exam. No. Fucking. Way.
WTF Dad, ya creepy bastard?
Doctors and Gyns will very often offer patients some way to talk to them in private if they came with another person, be that a parent or partner. That's to give them an opportunity to report domestic abuse and ask for help without having to fear retaliation.
Title says Dad gives a lot of red flags
As the girl is no longer a minor, he doesn't even have rights to her medical condition under HPPA rules, right? Doesn't matter if he's paying for it.
Was it Donald Trump by any chance?
"What the heck, doc, I've always been in her yearly exams, ever since she was thirteen!"
“I’d like to do these exams at home!” - DT, probably
"So what do I need? Just some rubber gloves, some lube, and a desk or something for her to lay down on? How difficult can that be?"
Or T.I.
Dad is a pedo in training.
I think he already graduated.
My thought as well. He wants to be present to make sure she doesn’t spill the family secrets
I wonder if Dad wants his daughter to witness his prostate exam
Probably
Been getting parenting advice from TI
“But Doctor, I want to see my little girl’s fully developed vagina 🤬😡” 💀
This is anything from overprotective "the doctor will rape her" to "the doctor will find out that I'm raping her," with snooping on the daughter's sex life somewhere in the middle. Anything more definitive is idiotic.
What’s the big deal? Dad just wants to be there in case any tough questions about evidence of SA come up. You know. Process of elimination. Alibi confirmation. Facts. /s
Republican christian who believes in family values🙄
Should’ve asked TI for his autograph.
I hope everyone in that waiting room, including staff, gave him death stares. What a disgusting POS.
Read it first as wanting a present for taking daughter to exam. That'd actually be more functional.
“Unhealthy interest”
Is sad
19? Run!!
Father of a daughter, would not want to be present for that, I don’t event want to be present for my own medical things.
This fucking weird. It is almost as weird as when she was 17 and had no choice...
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginity-testing-rapper-ti-says-he-visits-gynecologist-every-year-with-daughter-deyjah-to-check-her-hymen/#:~:text=Entertainment-,Rapper%20T.I.%20says%20he%20visits%20the%20gynecologist%20every,daughter%20to%20%22check%20her%20hymen%22&text=T.I.%20is%20facing%20backlash%20on,her%20hymen%22%20is%20still%20intact. Sounds like what the Rapper T.I. does...
>I was like WTF You and me both sis
Hi, I am a father of a lady type human. For the first 18 years of her life I told her it was my job to make sure she had 50% less fun. When she turned 18, I advised her that 100% of the fun responsibility was completely on her. To my astonishment, that's when she took the time to call home and tell us where she was at night and when she was going to be home. Having stated the above, I want you to know that I cannot fathom this father's concept of needing to attend to something that must be between his own kid and her doctor - especially at aged 19. Not even EVER would I honestly have to insist to be present during my kid's own gynecological exam no matter the age. It's fucking perplexing and invasive, and will never land in my mind as protective, regardless. If the doc is male, they have a female present, am I mistaken? Again, even still... for fuck's sake, what the fuck business does that man have .... Oh, I've been trolled by rage-bait haven't I? Dagnabbit.
“19” is not a girl. End of argument.
I mean, this is probably a very fucked situation but the headcanon I am telling myself is that she may possibly be mentally ill or suffering with a hidden disability such as BiPolar or Autism Spectrum Disorder. When I worked in medicine I sometimes would see a parent go with a very normal looking teenager into a very unusual or gross doctors situation, and I would judge them only to later find out the girl was mentally ill and just didn't show it (see: "invisible" disability) and the parent would feel like their child simply doesn't have the mental capability to deal with the possibility of trauma from the procedure. Again, this situation is more likely to be negative but I just thought I would throw a very real (but small) possibility that not all people in the world are evil.
I agree with your consideration. However, if you have a special needs child, you should align this already while making the appointment, to avoid such discussions in public. And parents who honestly care for their special needs children usually do. People who have such discussions in the waiting room or a similar setting are usually not those with the good (but considered embarrassing) arguments.
She’s 19 legally an adult. Fuck off Dad and stay outside
Dude I never felt like a bigger pervert in my life then the last time I had to take my daughter to hers. I just did the awkward read of a 18 month old better homes and garden mag in the waiting room. While I got mean mugged by the two older ladies. I'm all for helping out my kids and it's not like I wanted to go back with her or anything.
Some flags are red. Some dad's are just really weird about their daughters too. I had to go on birth control at 14 to regulate my extremely heavy periods and my dad wouldn't allow me to because he assumed I would automatically start having sex because of it. It took my extremely catholic grandmother to basically slap some common sense into him to say that it's a medical necessity. This was my situation though.
It’s weird how afraid some folks are of things going into vaginas.
“Can you tell if she’s been fucking that punk Chad?”
I’m gonna go out on limb here and say not a drag queen …
WOW single dad of female. I have no idea What was going on that mans head.
A little bit of a humblebrag, but I had taken my 15-year-old daughter to the doctor for a recurring issue. At the conclusion of the appointment, I asked her if she wanted me to leave the room so she could speak with the doctor about anything else. She declined, but I could tell she appreciated it.
Jesus.. I think my kids were like 8 and 10 (maybe younger?) when I would go in with them to their GP answer any questions and then ask them if they wanted me to leave... They can't ask the DR embarrassing stuff, and there's always a nurse present during kids exams at the doctor they went to, so I let them have privacy. I also started asking them for permission to post their pictures when I wanted to. I'm definitely in the minority lol
Was it TI?
Forget red flags, the dude is skywriting ‘creep’ 🤢
That’s revolting….
Ew.
Was it T.I.?
The rapper TI actually did this. Not a joke.
As a dad to a daughter I promise that I will never be like this to my daughter. If my daughter doesn’t feel comfortable telling me something, either I shouldn’t be involved and it a conversation for my wife to have with her, or I haven’t done my job as a loving father. I am going to work my ass off to make sure she always feels safe and comfortable telling me anything without fear of being rejected.
Eww
I guess he got her pregnant
Was he wearing a red hat?
Wish Liz would have called the dad out & made it clear he’s being creep y with his adult daughter.
Yup, when these assholes talk about "parental autonomy" this is what they mean.
From a non perverse standpoint, what if the father has had a past where he’s seen how evil people can be and he just wants to be her advocate. However, I wouldn’t want my dad IN the room but if my dad wanted to support me, I’d ask if he could stand outside the door. I had my mom for those things but my dr actually told my mom she couldn’t come in for my exams as a teen because I was “grown enough”.
Dad or pimp/trafficker?
It could be an over protective dad. There's a clinic across the street from my house. One day I saw a bunch of cruisers in front of it, and one of the doctors had been hauled away. Turns out he was a gyno that had been sexually abusing his patients. As a father myself that's still changing diapers, I've seen what my daughter looks like, as any rational parent its just that: nudity. I'd want to make sure that doctor don't do anything funny. But that's also just a personal anecdote, and this situation could be many things. He could be assaulting his own daughter, he could be trying to find out if her and her boyfriend are doing bedroom stuff. Not much context to go off of here other than what's provided. But In terms of law, doctor is right, it's up to the patient who goes in and out of that room.
Dad is the father.
Pedo vibes all day
🤮🤮
That’s horrible but it could be a cultural thing where medieval practices like verifying a daughter’s virginity because the family’s honor is at stake. Pretty sure this is common practice in parts of the world today.
Nah… my daughter gets to that point(i dont want my little girl to grow up:( ) but she is gonna be doing that on her own… thats her business, not mine at that point
Is he a pervert!! Cause she’s 19 a legal adult. Why do parents not know that at 15/16 they not allowed to be in the room with the kid..