I'm still wiping and flushing. Have fun pulling that back up through the toilet

Toilet flossing

Don't even wad it up, just keep flushing until it's all sucked in so it stops as far down the pipe as possible.

The ole conveyor shit roll. Grab the next bit and go with it.

Yup, just using the whole roll.

You underestimate my power

I'd have to wipe, then roll it back up. sorry, not sorry.

Or, pull out a certain amount of length then wipe your way back in…

r/foundsatansquared

Wait, that’s a real subreddit lol

The real Satan is ALWAYS in the comments

I’d use the towels that are just for show.

I'd look for the monogrammed anniversary towels.

I'd just prank them back by not wiping my ass, pulling up my pants, and sitting on the couch like everything is normal.

me too sans the pulling up the pants but folding and carry them with me.

Someone tried to prank me like this once. I carry a pocket knife so I just cut piece of it off. Then walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened. They never figured it out.

This was my thought. I'd do the same.

Should have used the white towel in the bathroom

That would have been disgusting. What I did was confusing. I stand by my choice.

Big props on bringing the poop knife with you everywhere, but how does cutting the poop help? /j

Might want to hide your towels first

my friend: "fuck!! you asshole, you did a huge diarrhea shit all over the floor and toilet lid! is this because of my prank?" me: "prank?"

Jokes on you. I'm still wiping my ass with that

I'm using the whole roll. I do not care what I did or if it warrants that much paper. God bless your toilet if it can flush it, because I'm gone by the end.

It's not a problem, I just use the curtains.

I'm scooting my ass all the way to the front door like an itchy dog and hopefully they've got some nice deep shaggy white carpet

It‘s a shituation

One flush and you can floss the drain line from bathroom to the street. Or create a nice clog. Plumbers love this easy income hack.

that's when ye good ol' poop knife comes in handy again

Or three shells.

Hello fellow hooter

hoot hoot

I was gonna make a joke about this, but decided it would be pretty tearable

The joke couldn't come off as crappy either, it just rolls off the tongue

And a joke like that would be a stain on my ca-rear anyways. I'd have to wipe everything to recover

Just one more reason to Always carry a pocket knife.

I had to travel last week and so was without my knife for three days. I missed it so much I considered buying one just for the trip.

I’ve actually bought a cheap Walmart pocket knife on a couple trips that I didn’t take a checked bag to stash one in.

I always forget about checked bags. I don't think I've ever checked one. This time, though, I guess I could've put it in my wife's garment bag. Honestly, I think my knives are short enough that TSA doesn't officially have an issue. Isn't it three inches or less? Anyway, I don't want to risk having a conversation with them about it.

I never risk it with tsa I don’t need the hassle. I swear ever since we came back from Egypt they target me for the extra check through the bag with a pat down

I opted out of the magnet thing and basically obligated them to pat me down. They don't want to be there either, but hey... Here is where we are.

Yep, they gotta job, and I have nothing to hide

Jokes on you, have fun changing that roll after it’s been used.

Or maybe just clean with water already.

That just makes too much sense.

Always carry a pocket knife, gentleman.

“Poop EDC”

Now where are those nice Christmas towels? Are they in cabinet?

I’d just wipe with it anyway

Occurred to me, get a roll of tp that isn't perforated. No where to rip from. The panic sets in as everyone can hear them just keep rolling, rolling, rolling...

Pair that with[sugar free gummy bears](https://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-comments-sugarfree-haribo-gummies/)

Hope you have a good plunger.

if it doesn't tare im using the entire role to wipe and im flushing it. great idea if you want a clogged toilet spewing shitty water all over your floor.

I wish this didn't remind me of the nightmare I just woke up from.

The real crime would be how I'd leave the bathroom

"Imma shit on these walls, Ray"

nah, I'll use the entire thing to wipe and then put it back

what woulf jeff daniels do ?

Now put it in a bunch of public restrooms.

✂️

Looks like the real satans are in the comments 😂

r/ibswarcrime

Put it in a hotel