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capulet2kx

“Wow, where did the condom come from?” How to turn a sexual encounter into a tour of your 3d printing facilities.


queen_Earth_ball

If your potential sexual partners show interest in a tour of your 3D printing facilities, you give them a tour of your goddamn 3D printing facilities. I see this as an absolute win.


DynamicMangos

Sex < Explaining my entire 3D Printing Setup along with all my materials to someone


queen_Earth_ball

"It's called 'screening for compatibility' *Dave*, you should try it sometime."


Sandoron

My girlfriend told me that I missed sex on multiple occasions because I was talking about my 3d printer...


BeefCorp

Print a new one.


NevesLF

Time to unite both worlds on r/3dprintinggonewild I guess.


djexit

all I gotta explain is retraction distance and speed


Kind_Consideration97

Oh no. If your potential sexual partners show interest in a tour of your 3D printing facilities, ain’t no sex happening. The only “parts” on a “bed” are gonna be on that 3D printer, and the only thing you’re “screwing” is either a nozzle or an extruder door. There ain’t no W here.


TinkerSquirrels

...and this is where I do my silicone pours. Any requests?


Cabanon_Creations

And 2hrs later, they've totally forgotten sex, they're just partially undressed and staring at the 3d printer doing its job. "So you see, this is tree support"


nsfbr11

Fuzzy Skin has entered the chat.


Sirdroftardis8

TIFU post incoming


jhalfhide

"would you like to see my pleasure room"


TacTurtle

*extruder


nongregorianbasin

Why would he show his hand the 3d printer?


MrSirChris

Yeah, sex is cool and stuff… But have you ever explained something you’re passionate about to someone who is genuinely interested?


puterTDI

Like everyone with a 3d printer I see you have found yourself printing stuff that will never actually be used. Edit: OP - I just want to point out that one of my top 10 comments is insulting your sex life. I can't decide if I should be proud or ashamed of that, but I do feel I should point it out.


mosquem

Brutal.


michaelrw1

All right! Giggity.


koopastyles

[no! not alright!](https://i.redd.it/v523v6b9fsm31.jpg)


MasterGlassMagic

Ooof. You murdering sob.


cyberzh

This comment got more upvotes than the post. Surely, that's saying something.


bigfloppydonkeydng

Someone call Monk .. I just witnessed a murder


Le_Pressure_Cooker

Yeah why is dude "hiding" condoms? In my experience, having condoms is better not the other way around.


Gaothaire

Because in the West (the culture I'm most familiar with, and thus can speak to) sex is a private affair. If you have your parents or coworkers over, you don't want to have your sex toys laying out where they can be seen. Better to be discrete but easily accessible


Le_Pressure_Cooker

Ever heard of a drawer? And whatever happened to the good old condom in your wallet? And I don't think parents really care if you have a condom. You don't want to display it, sure, but there's no reason to "hide" it. One of the above methods should work just fine.


imcoveredinbees880

Your wallet is a terrible place to keep a condom for longer than a night or two. They degrade faster in there.


NorsiiiiR

Is a drawer not still 'hiding' them? How's that any different from this?


Le_Pressure_Cooker

No keeping it in a drawer is the same as keeping your china in the kitchen cabinet. Merely an organizational scheme. This on the other hand is similar to hiding valuables in a secret safe that looks like a soup can.


fiveighteen518

Wallets are for going places, this is for at home. And you shouldn't be 3d printing if you're not looking to solve non-problems with non-solutions 🤓


TresCeroOdio

BURN


CPierko

To be fair, it's already being used. So it will only be used once.


damiantheguy97

No he uses them to not waste socks


n00bz0rz

I was about to point out this is in the wrong sub.


And_Im_Allen

Is some ways a uterus is a kind of 3D printer so he's doing the lordt's work.


Dr_Dewittkwic

Not upvoting only because current count is 69


Conaz9847

The count has exceeded, you can come back and upvote now


ore-aba

Technically, the condom holder is being used. Now the condoms themselves…


Local_Pin4539

Nah man r/fosscad


[deleted]

[удалено]


frozenchosun

this design is the birth control


moveslikejaguar

I would bust out laughing if it's getting spicy and someone produced a condom from their bespoke condom dispenser


Rubcionnnnn

It's hidden behind the headboard so they can say "you have something in you ear" to their gf and then magically pull out a condom. 


SteveS33

Is that better?


answerguru

Absolutely. Keep laughter in the bedroom!


kurenainobuta

That's my exact same thought. And who doesn't like magic!?


TinkerSquirrels

OMG, now I need to design a whole headboard in the style of that stupid "Gun Bead" that drop a condom into your hand when you reach back... [tw:guns-aimed-at-screen] Like this...but a condom: https://youtu.be/IRUw3R5kZtk?si=bWImktWm1U2OOmdj&t=42


1generic-username

You got to yell, "dun dun dun ta dun dah" like it's a magic trick. Bonus points if you're on top and can make it seem like you're pulling it from behind her ear. "Ta daaaa!"


MycologistNo2271

I would thinking WTF … ughh he’s a f boy 🤦🏼‍♀️ oh well, let’s see if he’s got the skills to back that up 🤷🏼‍♀️


zeta3d

Remember to dust it out from time to time, dust is gonna accumulate there.


Albrightikis

And be sure to change out the ones that expire when you do


bertomg

Let me tell you about this esoteric piece of furniture called a nightstand.


Roland_was_a_warrior

Yeah, that’s the point, he’s trying to get one of those.


ZorinInc

Underrated comment of the day. 👍


surplus_meaning

Well, TBH, that’s an advanced 3-D print.


ScrewAttackThis

I don't have space for one. I gotta make the walk to the bathroom =/


NomaiTraveler

I mean. This definitely beats the box floating around in my storage ottoman.


SaltManagement42

There's a picture of a nightstand still in the box sitting next to a bed with an alarm clock and lamp on it. I feel like it's the proper response here, but I have given up on finding the actual image.


NorsiiiiR

No no no, OP has half a dozen condoms here, that's too many for one night stand 🤣


oeuviz

Don't forget to replace them before the expiry date in case someone wants to have sex in your bed.


FunWillScreen_Produc

*makes condom stash* *10 years later none are missing and hold the original condoms* OP: Oh I totally forgot about this.


TinkerSquirrels

Everyone needs a nice posh wank every now and then...


JoshuaFalken1

Congrats on the sex!


DavidAndTheForeskin

This guy fucks


Nimneu

Or does he? The condom stash is full


Mikeologyy

It’s missing one actually, so either he does fuck or he just needed to practice the protocol by hand to make sure he’s ready


rooroo4u

Or he slipped one on a cucumber and sat on it


Nimneu

lol. Only in one of the two pics so he either took the pics while he was loading it up or he stopped for a quick fuck break between photos


maestrchief

Ever heard of posh wanking?


TwistingEarth

People that fuck aren’t embarrassed to have condoms.


futur3stig15

Beat me to it 😂


chalk_nz

Beat yourself to it, sheesh


TheLastRaysFan

ITT: OP getting murdered


Common_Talk_8291

Is this for your posh wanks?


Historical_Cookie118

Obviously Fake, people with 3d printers don‘t have sex… 😂🤪


ocelot08

But they do make useless knickknacks with their printers so...


The_Argentine_Stoic

Wouldn't it be better to stash under the bed? After 5 minutes that box would be crushed by rough movements...


Accomplished_Plum281

Night stand drawer always worked for me… this is just a weird way to tell the internet this guy thinks he’s about to FUCK!


WorkoutProblems

meh i understand, sometimes it's nice to not have to break the fluidity of the situation by rolling over, opening a draw, taking it out, rolling back over, "ok now ready"


ObeseBMI33

You don’t have to take it out. Just roll together


WorkoutProblems

you sir are much smoother than I


NomaiTraveler

Yeah. My nightstand doesn’t have any drawers so everything has to be set out on top. I keep my condoms in a storage ottoman, and it really breaks the moment to have to get up and grab some if I didn’t plan ahead.


sengh71

some wonderful redditor posted somewhere that the GameBoy cartridges comfortably fit two of those bad boys. I haven't looked back after that. Got a pack of 10 cases for $15 CAD and they're perfect.


ddwood87

Hopefully can be stress-tested this year.


IAmDotorg

Who are you hiding them from? I feel like people stashing condoms behind their bed are probably the people least likely to need them.


WaZepplin

I don't think it's about hiding then so much as having them quickly avail. when needed


NomaiTraveler

I don’t want to worry about having condoms laying out on my table if I’m having friends, a first date, or anyone else over. My parents and grandparents will also drop by out of nowhere, and I’m definitely not leaving a stack out for them to see


dan1eln1el5en2

Now make one for the used condoms too ;)


Obecny75

Why it will just sit empty


wasab1_vie

Till now I was under the impression that the venn diagram with people who 3D Print and People who fuck are two seperate circles.


starshin3r

Somebody forgot that this sub is called functional print.


oregon_coastal

Should make it entertaining and have a few more columns. And put different brands in each. Then put a different name at the top of each column. Then wait for your wife to find it :-)


Forward_Young2874

Optimistic.


Magnus919

But you’re a 3D printing nerd so you don’t actually need it.


Abject_Bodybuilder_7

So you're using condoms when youre wanking?


JJ-Bittenbinder

Make sure if you actually use it, you fill the awkward time it takes you to put it on to tell your partner how you made the holder in great detail


dbeats20

10 slots seems a bit ambitious


Fit_Depth8462

🚨this guy has sexual intercourse🚨


DStalebagel

Can we get a remix with the middle partition removed. I have greater need for a secret Fun Dip stash


MoreRamenPls

Why’d you put a years worth back there?


SmileyNY85

Why hide?


ocelot08

I cover my bed in condoms every night. Remove the packaging for quick access.


ddwood87

Front of the headboard ftw.


shu2kill

Typical 3d printer new user, find a solution to a problem that doesnt exist.


puravidaamigo

Yeah that will get them going. Suavely pull out a rubber and they will be like “wow where did you get that stud?” And then you’ll break out into nerd speak about 3D printing


AdministrativeHope39

lol why


NomaiTraveler

This is a great idea OP, I may be printing this


2fast4u180

Can I have the STL? Dont want a STl


rantingpacifist

So you replicated something to keep you from replicating


StetsonManbrawn

When she asks if your bed is leveled


Natalia-1997

That’s the kind of guy I wanna fuck with


Dendrowen

That's it. We're done. No more improvements can be made.


Heyjudemw

What a fun sexy time for you


MasterGlassMagic

This is a product idea. Refine it, list it.


NightVision93

I don’t know what’s better - the comments or the product 😂


And_Im_Allen

"Is... THIS your card?"


Altruistic_Water_423

that's like a 50 year supply..


xhippieninjax

Nice! It looks *fuck*tional!


[deleted]

Ran out of socks?


Affectionate_Walk610

Two colums: his and hers preservatives.


pepitosde

That's neat. If only you got to use them...


EnlightenedChipmonk

CAD is actually an aphrodisiac


genericuser292

If you don't use then someone can turn into a human 3d printer.


userid666

Oh.. unused condoms... Not sure why my brain went to the shoe box story.


SomeIndividualNotMe

This needs to be a launcher with a button push and spring, so you reach behind the headboard and it pops over the headboard like a 90s made for tv magic trick.


Excellent_Clock_5715

THIS is what the community needs


TheFiggster

OP will be printing sex toys next.


CowsWithAK47s

You don't need condoms with a 3D printed girlfriend... But this is cool!


FrenchFatCat

I thought owning a 3d printer was protection enough.


luna87

Let’s be real. How many 3D printing enthusiasts are getting laid. I have a similar 3D printed condom box stashed in the living room 😂


Rainman764

There are some other condom stashes on the Internet, but they either don't hold enough condoms or are too complicated to "reload" in place. [STL here. ](https://www.printables.com/model/909509-condom-stash-multiple-versions-for-all-needs) I've uploaded multiple sizes (1-2 "columns" w/ 1-6 "rows"). Obviously you'll need to scale the model according to your sizing needs, there is a small test model available.


DrRonny

> don't hold enough condoms Why would you need 10 years worth of condoms?


g_h_t

Burn of the year lol


ocelot08

Wait, it doesn't take you guys 6 tries to get it on?


DrRonny

You only use one at a time?


monsteramyc

r/suicidebywords


Dans77b

I need an extra large test model


HtownTexans

This is how I know you really need the scaled down 50% model.


Metaldwarf

Dude buy better condoms. Edit - kimono, one vanish, crown. Are all way better and worth the extra couple cents.


thenate108

If I know anything about the way the universe works, you'll never use them now.


forkonce

Now make a caddy for drip sticks from awkward essentials


itmustbeinmygenes

This is the last thing I need to print. Thank you tho


Kairukun90

I’m so glad I’m married 😂


Jack_of_Hearts20

This guy's getting laid


ECHOechoecho_

take a few out so it seems used


Raidhn

Smash Stash!


aProperFox

Trying to get a Durex sponsorship eh? I mean, crazier things have happened...


TheVarns

Nice


joecarter93

I know that when I mention that I have a 3D printer I can’t keep the ladies off of me.


MrMohundro

At a glance I thought those were snacks.


Alienhaslanded

Optimism


NoDontDoThatCanada

Do you have just a single? I can already say that this is too many.


JesseJ3D

lets get the upvotes to 6969!


Juror_no8

After Eight Johnnies


Porcupinetrenchcoat

Ok, but where is the lube holder? Ask your partner if condoms make them dry out quickly...


RalfyRoo

If you’re having to hide your condoms behind your bed then are you even old enough to be using them? 🤨


diskostick

Hide them good. You don’t want to walk in your bedroom to see your kid with them on each finger or trying to blow them up like a balloon.


mintaroo

Oh good, it's not a stash for *used* condoms, which is what I was thinking when reading the title...


Got2Go

This is a really cool idea, but im married.


countsachot

Genius


genericuser292

Wait, yall are having sex?


Bcoool1

Very nicely done 👍🏻


Catfrogdog2

You 3D print AND fuck?!


mpate93

Need it on a belt holster for quick draws


Senior_You_6725

The irony is that if you'd bought this, it would be fine. If you'd only printed it, it still had a slim chance of scraping into the definition of a functional print. But since you both printed it **and** posted it to reddit, it's in the wrong sub.


Super_Ad9995

"Shit, where'd I hide the condoms?!"


ZenoxDemin

Don't forget they expire after a few years.


OrigamiFishermn

Stl?


3spot

Genius


PaddyDelmar

Not a bad idea


1entreprenewer

They told us 3D printing would make our lives better. They didn’t know just how much better.


AwwwSnack

Don’t you know FDM isn’t food safe‽ /s


ThePrisonSoap

Next install a voice activated catapult mechanism that yeets 'em into your hand on command!


ConstantWin943

Add an arduino and servo to listen for key commands that shoot the condom into the air at a preferable location. Then catch it, slap it on, and say “where were we….”


chowbeyputra

Man of culture indeed


notToddHoffman

v2.0: ESP32 and WS2812b for dispensing effects when unit senses more than one unit dispensed in 15 minutes


Aessioml

What the fucks a condom


Bubbly_Barnacle_8008

Don’t know why you have to hide them 🤷🏼‍♂️😆 but I like it.


akf_was_here

Won't that get crushed when the headboard hits the wall repeatedly during the act?


Lockeys25

For your roommate? OP you have a 3D printer.


elarson1423

Not reading all of the comments to see if it’s been said, but good on ya for not populating it with Magnums 🤣


psypher39

Smart


FLAIR_2780166

lol virgin


Opposite_Ad1464

If optimism could be expressed as a physical object. It would be this.👍😆


dartfrog1339

Why not just 3D print the condoms?


Substantial_Vast4891

Only sailors use condoms baby yeah


Chas_-

And filled it with one of (if not the most) horrible brand in existence. 🤣


TheCakeIsALieX5

well I guess this is r/fucktionalprint now


sen-ku_co

Nice


Axxel_F

"But, is your bed leveled?". "Gonna get some action in the Y axis". "She retracting on my filament 'till i extrude". "look, I call this the Z-Hop!". "They call me Carbon x1, cause i'm good at being fast". "Let me see those steppers". "it's not about the size of the nozzle, it's about the quality of the print, babe".