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Dry_Ass_P-word

Not that different except now I have 20 million.


DLD1123

Imagine all the women you could get with 20 mill… wait.


TheCalzonesHaveEyes

I can still pay sex workers to do stuff while I jerk off.


Working-Pop-1201

I admire people that see the glass half full instead of half empty!


HowBoutaHmmNah

Why is this glass sticky?


LetMeInImTrynaCuck

This is actually the hilarious part about this question. Most men want money so they can sleep with beautiful women. Having that much money but not being able to have sex is kinda hilarious. That said, I’d still do it. I’m in my mid 40s and sex kinda sucks nowadays anyway id much rather prefer not to work.


JustNeedA_SO

Yeah same, 9 years for me and counting.... Give me the money!


JstAlphA

Rookie numbers homie


JustNeedA_SO

Yeah just working on them, can't do much else than wait


Creepy_Fan_8629

Work on the time machine, it'll set you back by an easy 10 years


ooOJuicyOoo

38 years and counting :')


Tym370

This would have been me if I hadn't broken the record last year. I just didn't want to end up a 40 year old virgin.


Greenlee19

This is what I was thinking as well lmao


Scormey

Same. Heart patient, can't do anything "strenuous" again. Lifting my checkbook with $20 million in my account might be pushing it, but I'd manage.


WhereAreMyDetonators

Username checks out


Lychanthropejumprope

User name checks out


ForTrevorAndEver

Right?! I mean... Sure, I'll take 20 million dollars to do what my wife is making me do for free.


g0dzilla93

WHERE'S MY MONEY??!!


SevereReindeer6989

You're godzilla, you must be rich already.


g0dzilla93

😂😂 funny, but unfortunately no relation.


CoolNameChaz

Damn. Would a been a hell of a residual check.


WhiteRabbitHole1083

As a Widower this is basically where Ive been at for half a decade already so sure,deal


aibot-420

As a single guy, anytime I see "widow" on a dating profile I assume she killed the guy. Either strait up murder or through years of stress. My ex robbed me and broke my neck though so I am pretty jaded.


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Nah she and I were fuckin deeeeep in love,even had a daughter on the way,it was sudden and very unpleasant but cancer can apparently be super aggressive and stay hidden until it’s too late. I hope you find someone like that one day,someone who tells you “you deserve to be loved”, it changed my entire outlook on life and I know it’s a stupid cliche but she saved me with that love


sunandpaper

I am so sorry for your loss (losses if your unborn daughter was lost as well). She sounds like she was a wonderful person.


Bowood29

Being Loved and not just I prefer life with you instead of without is completely different and a lot of people never get to experience it.


CantBanMii

what kind of cancer???


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Lung


DiscussionLoose8390

I am sure she would be in support of you finding someone else.


johnny_evil

But only if he wants to and is ready.


Life_Strain_6948

Mine blacked my eye with a potato, cut me, hit me on several occasions and then tried to allege abuse in the divorce hoping it would get her more money. Luckily, my second wife just left me for someone else.


WretchedJester

Far too many people underestimate the destructive potential of a potato. Then, all of a sudden, you're the one getting mashed! Edit: I won't forgive myself if I don't so here goes. A relationship like that will chip away at you. Oh, you'll try to hash it out, but in the end you're just stewed. Sometimes you try to hold it together for the tots, but it's all fried out. Isn't that right, O'Brien?


Life_Strain_6948

Well done


PristineWallaby8476

wait so your first wife was the crazy-black-eye-giving one - and then you got married again - and your second wife (someone diff) just left you for some other guy? Cause if so - really sorry bro 🫶


Life_Strain_6948

That's exactly right


PristineWallaby8476

can i ask what was the time lapse between these two relationships - cause damn - again my apologies 🤧


aibot-420

Mine went to prison for breaking my neck, and my dumb ass forgave her when she got out. Took me another year to finally understand she was just using me as a wallet.


Life_Strain_6948

Understand that too well


sky7897

Why did you allow someone to hit you for a second time?? You should’ve been gone after the first hit.


Life_Strain_6948

True. Thought nobody would believe me plus in my state, the man tends to get destroyed in court regardless of circumstances.


6n6a6s

Not just your state, every state.


Life_Strain_6948

No wonder people aren't getting married as much anymore


laidbackeconomist

It’s easy to say this when you aren’t or haven’t been in that situation, but abusive partners have a lot of ways to keep you from leaving. Sometimes they threaten more physical abuse, sometimes they threaten to kill themselves, sometimes they stop using birth control and get you or themselves pregnant, sometimes they cry and promise that they’ll change. Those are just a few of the methods abusive partners use, but there’s thousands more.


Independent-Collar77

Quite a weird comment to say to a widower tbh. 


g00g0lig00

is that by choice?


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Yeah,she’s worth the wait


FaithlessnessSea1058

Damn. Sorry brother


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Thanks,but hey,one lifetime is nothing in the face of eternity


lo_schermo

I admire your optimism.


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Therapy goes a long way after a traumatic experience


requiredtempaccount

❤️ Yes she is brother. As long as you’re happy, she’s happy


DrBionicle195

👏👏real role model !!


lalachichiwon

Same


ms-meow-

I've been doing that for free for awhile now lol


jp9900

Hell nah I’m clapping cheeks, broke but happy lmao


Upper-Season1090

So like.. get married, but instead of a wife you get $20 million? I'm in


Immediate-Formal6696

you can still have a wife, it just said “no sex, no oral, you have to do it yourself” and by that i assume no handjobs also. I see it that you can still pleasure them with hand and mouth. You could create a loophole by mimicking sex by the guy wearing a strap on and thrusting it into the girl, while the guy is thrusting his real pp into a fleshlight. so its just like sex except with fake tools lol


Flashy_Inevitable_10

They were implying that married couples don’t have sex.


TedantyPlus

They would be so wrong


Breakin7

So sad bb


Midnightbitch94

This isn't a hard or difficult hypo for a lot of people.


Junior-Air-6807

It is a hard hypo for a lot of other people though. Especially people who have sex


chekovs_gunman

Sex is nice but a bit overrated. With 20 million I could find many more ways to occupy and entertain myself 


XvvxvvxvvX

Disagree. With the right person it’s the best.


HatefulHagrid

Absolutely. Random hookup one night stand banging is overrated in my personal opinion so agreed with that. If my wife and I couldn't have sex again id definitely feel like a piece was missing not only of myself but our relationship. We've been through hell and high water in our time together and no sex would feel like a major step back. I have some serious sexual trauma from my past and the positive sexual contact with someone I love and who loves me is incredibly healing.


BananaHomunculus

Then I've never had sex with the right person


smolsnailz

So change nothing about my life except now I have 20 million?


Top-Apple7906

Fuck no. My wife and I have been having mind-blowing sex for 15 years. I would rather keep that.


misteraustria27

If you are with the right woman it continues. 30 years and counting.


Top-Apple7906

My man!


Cyb3rTruk

We’re at 8 yrs but catching up!


Ratchety405

Yes! Husband and I have been at for 17 years, I cannot imagine giving that up, it's too good.


CohnJena68

"Again" implies I've done it before, meaning you're still allowed to experience it at least once, but then you won't be able to after that one time.


Junior-Air-6807

I hope the 68 in your name isn't your birth year , if that's the case


NBAball05

20 mill for a life I’m already living dope


fredgiblet

Free 20 million dollars? I'll take it.


southcentralLAguy

What a sad existence


RefrigeratorOk7848

No one tell him about asexuals.


g00g0lig00

what a sad existence for anybody who is any sexuality but asexual


southcentralLAguy

Sounds like a sad existence


Misaka__Misaka

Kinda. "Sad" would be a pessimistic way to put it, but although I've only talked in depth with a few of them, it definitely sounds inconvenient. You can't miss something you don't want, and they don't want sex, so not having it doesn't hurt them. The issue is that almost everyone wants romantic love (there are aromantics too though), almost everyone wants at least *some* sex, and most people prefer monogamous relationships. Monogamy is contingent on getting all your needs met by one person, so if there's anything you can't provide, it's doomed to fail. Of course, not craving or getting pleasure from sex doesn't necessarily mean they're repulsed by it. For some, sex is doable, but it's more like giving a massage or something else therapeutic. It's rewarding to know they're making someone else feel better, but that's the extent of the positive aspect. It's still work. Of course ideally asexuals would find each other, just out of efficiency that's what would be the most comfortable. But there's not very many of them, so finding another who also has the right personality traits is unlikely. Depending on how much of an aversion there is to sex, it can be hard to weigh the benefits of being with another asexual who doesn't have as compatible of a personality against being with someone more compatible emotionally at the cost of indulging their sex drive.


Cbizz2288

Yes.


futures17gne

No. Some things are more important than money. Sex is one of them. 😃


RefrigeratorOk7848

Do you how many high quality toys there are. Fuck yes i want to set up myself forever.


didsomebodysaymyname

Nah, having your basic needs taken care of is important to happiness, but ultra wealth isn't. People were happy 10,000 years ago, at least sometimes, and no one then could enjoy what 20M could buy today. Sex with another human and the relationship that can come with it is more valuable to me. Outside of sex, the best times of my life have been hanging out with the people I love, and it doesn't require 20M to do that.


JimmyTheFarmer79

I think you've underestimated how unfuckable some of us internet people are.


silent-fallout-

Can still make out and do over the clothes stuff, sure why not!


MoreThrowaway12345

True op didn't say no outercourse


requiredtempaccount

Hell no. I already found my one, and I wouldn’t give up that aspect of our relationship for money. At some point money has a diminishing return on happiness. A good relationship really doesn’t


YeetusThatFoetus1

Nope. I’ve had sex so good I saw the universe. Can only see a small part of the universe for 20 mil.


Low-Tailor-583

2 chicks at the sa……


l1v3l0v3l4ugh

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE


XvvxvvxvvX

Fuck no


ThrowRAboredinAZ77

Nope


Icycube99

Do robots count?


CarelessCoconut5307

that would totally defeat the purpose of having 20 mil


Tasty_Pepper5867

Negative.


Loubacca92

Wait, you guys are getting paid?


blcknailed

Damn a lot of y’all don’t get laid


wknight8111

What would I possibly do with 20 mill, besides try to have more sex?


Ok_Fisherman8727

Then what do you spend the money on if not to buy things to make it easier to attract women. Invite all my boys on the yacht but they can't bring females. We posted up on the club but no females allowed in the booth. I might as well stay off the internet, every social media, ad, etc might be too tempting. Cant buy nice clothes because I don't want to have to bat all the women away.


complHexx

I haven’t had sex in almost 5 years so…..I’m down. Do I get my check in monthly payments or is it a lump sum? How much taxes get taken out?


Independent-Lime1842

I'd take the 20 million and then deny, deny, deny.


Local_Ocelot_3668

Survived 30 years without it and my quality of life is pretty damn good.


BedUnited2311

I have an opposable thumb but not a money tree. I’m in!


Ambitious-Bug-6522

Definitely! I can't get any as it is.


Elegant-Ad2748

So keep living as usual with a pocketful of money. Cool. Deal.


EconomyShort1554

I'm 31 never had sex I'll take that deal.


Outrageous-Bee4035

Eh. If I wasn't married, then sure. But I'm married and my wife is my besr friend. We need a little bit of that. Lol.


Wonderful_Device312

Considering I've lost almost all my libido and it hasn't come back for years... $20 million please


Mistah_JB

like immediately no sex? or is there a little grace period?


Sporesword

If my hand doesn't count I'd take that deal.


DipperJC

I'll miss giving blowies, but $20M is worth it. And I suppose I have to admit there is something liberating about ***knowing*** I'll never have sex again, as opposed to spending so much time and energy investing in the equivalent of sex lottery tickets that never pan out.


AdorableActuator2490

If you'd miss it that much, your offer is rescinded. Now get back out there and do what you love!


Faye_DeVay

Not a chance. Intimacy is too important to a marriage and hes incredible in bed. Since I wouldn't take 20 million to leave my spouse of a decade, I wouldn't take 20 million for this.


[deleted]

For 20 million, I'll swear off women, beat my dick like i caught it breaking into my house, and never have to feed it or tell it that it's pretty 🤣 sign me up right now. And I beat cheeks regularly, lol. No 🐱 on the face of this earth is worth turning down 20 million


Kellycatkitten

Easily. Sex becomes so boring and vanilla when you start exploring the world of fetishes. No one knows how to get your sexual organ off better than yourself.


Sweaty-Park1149

Virgin found


Lieutenant-Reyes

R/ihavesex


Madame_Raven

I couldn't do it. Sex is one of the few things that makes me feel alive, if at all.


Ratchety405

I'm right there with you, one of the few true pleasures in my life!


EvetheDragon84

Sex is overrated and boring, anyway, y'all are vanilla af. Gimme that $20 mil any day so I can travel and find true happiness and fulfillment enjoying nature and other cultures.


EmmitSan

If EVERYONE is “vanilla af” when they have sex with you, there might be a common denominator….


guoD_W

No


yummy__hotdog__water

No thank you


PETERPOTMAN133

Never have sex with anyone? Does that include my hand?


Hatchytt

Pay me.


0x14f

I take the money!


misteraustria27

Fuck no.


I_hate_mortality

Fuck no


Ja_Oui_Si_Yes

... so my life for the past 10 years Pay up


Fluffinator69

I got 7 kids, I need 20 million more than I need more sex


Class_Wooden

i’m just waiting for the sarcastic comment talking about how they already don’t have sex, and it gets 1 redditillion upvotes


White_eagle32rep

Pass


pizaster3

no


Art_Vand_Throw001

I’m doing this for free now so might as well. Although u bet once I have 20 million the females be coming out of the wood work.


MoreThrowaway12345

Take the money and get a life sized smutdoll/sexbot, it's not real so it doesn't count


hunnyjo

Been responsible for my own orgasm for 20+ years now anyways, give me the $$$


GoopDuJour

Sure


Weary-Writer758

Give me the money


toxiclord101

I'd do this for far less but yea ill take it


Jeff77042

Um, I’m 65, divorced, and that’s been my situation for several years now. So, I’ll take the $20,000,000. Thanks.


Stripes1957

My wife would go for that! Just stop the Cialis deliveries!


Your-Cousin-Larry

My wife would divorce me and end up with half the money due to marital asset laws. She loves my D


Unsound_Science

Yeah sure sign me up. $20 spot for doing what I normally with no changes? Baby I’m in


Decent_Cat775

Easy. Make it harder by saying no to music or sugar.


perkaholic42069

So my normal life plus 20 million. I'm in.


bigmfworm

So $20 million and my life doesn't change? Sure.


SpaceCatSixxed

Done. I did it for the first 18 years of my life no problem, and the last 13 (kind of a problem). Those 20 years in between were a blast though.


Mysterious-Bid6

I'm good with this. Give me the money 💰💰


RicanDevil4

I'm not having sex now, and I'm doing it for free.


WantedFun

No, honestly. Just no.


goodty1

just penetration ?


Qurious_Kat

Not sure 20 mil is enough


Mioraecian

You'd have to ask my partner not me, she has the higher sex drive.


Patient-Ad-3156

Hell no


FoamingCellPhone

Ez give me the money.


naeboy

Fuck no


PuzzleheadedHouse986

Yeah. I’m still happy with handjobs or her using toys on me. Big part of sex is the intimacy, enthusiasm and feeling desired. I might ask for one last BJ before accepting the deal lmao


meatbaghk47

Would take it. Comfort and security for myself for life, and can significantly help loads of people and organisations as well. 


aymanchow

So pretty much get 20 million for free without giving anything up?


Wmpathos0321

Nope


yuri0r

My first no, congrats. Can't leave my partner sad like that.


CreatedOblivion

Does myself count?


StoryHorrorRick

Yeah I'm good.


duck1014

Sexless marriage here. Hand over the $20,000,000 please.


Forward_Chair_7313

Nope, even if I was ok with it my wife would veto it.


Phil-McRoin

No way in hell. It's not that the lack of sex would be so insanely different from my life now, but if I fucked up the way most lottery winners do, I'd just be broke & sexless forever. Then I'd have very little motivation to work, I'd probably just become a drug addict.


AdmiralYeet1605

Done deal.


Fit_Function4824

Can I do everything else and finish on them just no sex? If I can still do that I guess I’ll take the 20mil and be the weird guy that just jerks on chicks lol


Thrakashogg

As someone who is ace, hell yes


mrwioo

Hell no


Easterstrandedtime

I’ll take 20 million, then I’ll have sex. I can afford the world’s best legal team. Just try to take it back buddy.


PuzzleheadedWolf2608

Redditors - I will take the challenge !


FloridaMomm

Are we allowed to do mutual masturbation with a partner? Actually regardless of your answer I’m going to say yes. It’s 20 million dollars lmao


Fragile_reddit_mods

Hell yes. Sex doesn’t matter to me. I want my money.


Underrated_Critic

I"m gonna say yes, but only because I'm over 40.


HalvdanTheHero

As an aromantic asexual I see this as an absolute win.


aibot-420

I have been alone for a decade since I became partially paralyzed. Ex robbed me and re-broke my neck after I became paralyzed. Women like to tell me I'm not a real man anymore because of my disability. A few days ago I think a woman was flirting with me and my immediate reaction was anger. I am so full of bitterness and hate, I think its safe to say I will be alone for the rest of my days.


aglimelight

I’m asexual so yeah, that’d be great


Boring_Kiwi251

Yeah. I can just fuck myself.


BanishedKnightOleg

Where’s my $20mil?


Life_Strain_6948

Yeah, I never get laid as it is. Where's my money?


CygnusX-1-2112b

Hahaha I'm gonna make out like a bandit here, I'm married and already doing this for free!


bmo109

You like to do it yourself


magpieinarainbow

I didn't know there was funding available for not engaging in gross behaviour.


Trivius

Asexuals everywhere immediately rich


extremelight

Love sex but I'd gladly do without for 20 million. I can still wank


Duckbilledplatypi

Sure


Thumper-Comet

Jokes on you. I don't even want to have sex with me. Give me my 20 million.


WheelOfCheeseburgers

$20 million? Yeah, fuck it. I would become the world's dirtiest voyeur though.


Pixilatedlemon

No way


FrozenFrac

Happily!


I_hate_that_im_here

Sure.


eleljcook

No, unless I also had no desire to have sex.


Lucilla_Inepta

Hell no I want to do it at least once


Sunny_Hill_1

HELL YES, where is my money?


paperpatience

Yeah i would take the money


sneezhousing

Nope I like sex to much