I met my boyfriend at a concert in Jacksonville about ten years ago—just a random concert at the Landing when it still was. He's quite a bit younger than me and we talked that night about music, skateboarding, diving, and surfing which we're both into but again, I just didn't see us dating per the age difference though I did think he's cute. We stayed in touch and years later started dating. I think the lesson here may be to just meet people, period, and stay in touch, see what happens. Mutual interests can go far: my boyfriend and I both are platform divers—how many people are platform divers? You know?
Which sport do you play? I’ve played 3 and most of the time teams struggle to play with enough girls. Kickball for example requires 3 girls per team and it rarely hits that.
As a gen-xer, I do not understand zoomers. They don't date, they don't get together with their friends, they don't want to get their drivers license. It's weird. I blame the internet of course.
You probably do understand it. I mean, do you get together with your friends often? Love driving from the Northside to Southside in traffic?
Everyone is home watching content, gaming, etc. for the exact same reasons haha.
I think that's a big overgeneralization. I'm gen-x, my boyfriend is a millennial, and he has a bunch of zoomer friends too. Most of them do date, they all drive it seems, they do hang out with their friends. Yes, they're on their phones lots but they're not some alien creature compared to us, either.
OP: "It feels like no one's going out or trying to date anymore"
Me: " They don't date, they don't get together with their friends,"
And I'm the bad guy?
gen Z here, i’m busy. i’m trying to get college done, work every weekday and hit the gym every weekday. i’m not in a rush to meet a new partner but some of us are so busy we do not get time or have the energy to go out and meet strangers
Well, you think that because you haven’t really thought critically about the fact that there aren’t places to hang out that don’t cost a minimum of $20 (being generous) and internet is free and everyone is on there. I wish gen-xers would stop acting like they’re somehow superior to everyone else because they didn’t have cell phones as a kid.
Not necessarily better or worse, but I started with a 35 lb bag phone well before the current pocket computers we now call cell phones. Life changes over time. I still remember when gas was below $1.00 per gallon.
Met mine on hinge. We just moved to WI for the summer together not to long after we met haha. I just moved to jax so I thought the same thing. But hinge worked well for me ?
I’m 30(m), I just work then go home and play video games. I should probably visit farmers market, beach, nature parks more. But during my time off work, I just wanna be home and isolated. A circle of friends and dnd sounds dope though, maybe even some MTG would be dope. Jump in a draft night at a collectors shop would be cool too.
That's pretty much me too. I just know I need to get out but I just don't really want to lol. I've been to a few mtg nights at a few shops. I'd recommend Vortex in Orange Park or Gamer Corp in Julingtons. Java Game Haus pretty good too but they seem to still be settling into there new place
Met my partner of 6 years on Tinder, and most of the workplace couples I know met their partner on tinder as well. Seems to be the norm here if you weren’t HS sweethearts
Find a friend (preferably of the sex you want to attract) and ask them to give you an honest look and opinion on your profile.
I had to help friends with their profiles because they would make common mistakes like putting up pictures that made them look childish, profiles that were longer to read than The Stand, being way too specific on who they want, and so much more.
Just little changes to increase your dating pool and get more matches plus getting better at talking to people on there.
Yeah, lots of people suck at profiles but not everyone is going to dump their purse on their profile. Women also have to be careful not to put too much on there.
That attitude of being too picky won’t help you either. You don’t people who enjoy food, animals, traveling, or go outdoors? That's enough for you to swipe left and not talk to a person and finding out more about them?
You could, you could also give people a chance and talk to them and find out more. Not everyone is going to put that their majors or brag about themselves and peacock their profiles.
You know what was on my wife's profile? A few simple photos of her (that I liked), she said she likes to read and loves animals. That was enough for a right swipe, she could be cool to talk to even if just for a bit. After a swipe we matched and we talked. Found out she has a Bachelors in Studio Arts and Art History with a deep knowledge in Renaissance period, is a great cook, and loves sitting on the coach to watch Netflix with snacks. After talking a while we agree to go on a date and was instantly smitten by her. Couple years later I am marrying this women in a few months.
Imagine if I didn't swipe right because I thought her profile was too simple. Maybe if you looked at her profile you would've called her boring too.
People want to treat dating profiles like resumes that check all their boxes before you give them a chance to even talk to you and find out more? That's fine. Some people don't want to put in the work of getting to know people (I think they call that dating) and just want the right match for them. Those same people are likely going to wait a LONG time to get matched or worse they swiped left on potential people.
You know how people dated before Tinder? You see someone, something spark an initial attraction, you talk, you realize you'd like to talk more, exchange numbers, and talk some more. That initial attraction is so key and what so many forget in online dating. They don't let the spark, they do the mental checkbox and move on then complain about being single.
Same for me. My problem is it typically takes me years to be at all interested and those people are good friends, hence why I've known them for years. And then I don't want to fuck up the friendship, because keeping people in my life is the most important thing to me. It's not a great cycle. Whatcha gonna do?
nah I mean, I already know my profile sucks its just I hate taking pictures of myself and I already have very low perception of myself. I just cant stand trying to make a profile showing off all of my best features when I cant see them in myself
well, even ugly people can find partners. Getting to a point where you like yourself will help you find a partner more than "not being ugly" will. At least, a partner worth being with.
Listen I’m not saying online dating is easy. I went through many guys that weren’t for me before I met my bf. It’s not going to happen overnight. He is also a few years younger than me. I was holding myself back by having tight restrictions.
IMO it’s better to meet right away and get to know each other in real life. People can be wildly different IRL compared to online.
It sucks. Not many young adults here (without a family or child). Online dating pool is small and everyone is so spread out. Went to tampa recently and the swiping there was 🔥
Its awful in our 40s too. And online dating is the worst, so not even trying that anymore. I've even seen ads for speed dating and thought to try that just to find out the one that popped up was no one over 40 haha
I don’t think it’s a Jax thing, I think overall people are sort of over the shallowness (and mental stress) of online dating so they aren’t bothering as much anymore. At the same time, I think a lot of us are realizing that many of the places we used to hang out are either totally gone or we have been aged out of (like university classes) or priced out of (like how stuff costs $30 to do). We are always hearing about the disappearing third places these days. As a result of that I think the answer to “where is everyone” is at home, or at work/school.
I personally don’t date anymore because I just don’t really have the interest, but last time I was getting dates was using Hinge. WITH THAT SAID, my quality of matches was pretty low compared to previous experiences. I remember when I first started online dating in the 00s/10s I would fill out a whole thing on the then most popular site OKCupid and get good matches, and now I’m expected to condense down to a couple quick lines and attract with photos, which is just not how I experience attraction to people. Not to mention a lot of men just throw a bunch of lines out so you get the feeling they aren’t actually into you, they just wanted to get a date (from a woman’s perspective).
I occasionally see singles events but I can’t imagine they’re very fun or successful. I think the best way to meet people is to just try to capitalize on your hobbies, take classes that interest you, etc. This is and has always been the best way to make friends. I think the best solution is to go back to our roots and force ourselves to interact with strangers, lol.
You def aren’t alone in this. 29yo male here. I don’t really do anything outside of work, and chill at home with my critters. I’m extremely introverted, and have also had a hard time with the Tindr dating scene, and making friends in general. I’ve asked this question myself before, and it seems to be the general idea is meet someone on Tindr, or go to events/ places where people who share similar interests will be. I’ve about given up on the whole Tindr thing, not for me. I honestly at this point am just trying to be happy with myself and get my shit taken care of, and meet someone organically when the opportunity presents itself.
Like others have suggested, riverside arts market is cool. There’s also lots of online group meet up themed things you can find. Unfortunately it takes going out the front door and interacting with people to make a connection. I feel the struggle. But best of luck to you and hope you find helpful advice here!
28F here & completely agree. On top of being a huge introvert, I work from home. Definitely diminishes the opportunities to meet people, friends or otherwise. I enjoy my alone time but do miss having close connections!
Your best bet is to meet people at bars but if you go alone often times you will be seen as a weirdo. You can meet a younger crowd by going to beach bars like shim sham in that area. Typically people in their 20s if you want a bit more mature riverside.
I’m from Miami, been here for about 3 years now. So I immediately noticed the environment of dating was gonna be DIFFERENT. Personally I go out on my own. I’m never waiting around for friends in order to have a great time. Half the time I go out, I end up running into ppl I know anyway.
Secondly, you asked “where tf is everyone?” lol. I thought the same thing I promise. Make time to go out to the different events (Taco & Tequila festival, Dancing in the Streets, ArtWalk, River City Arts Market, Concerts, sports games, etc.), it doesn’t have to be just go to the bars and drink every time you want to meet someone whether your looking for something casual or not. Everyone likes the events going on and just think they are great places to meet
You should try a Meetup group. There's a big one in Jax called Jax Social 20's/30's. It's not primarily for dating, but it's a great way to meet people you might consider dating.
Met my soon to be wife on Tinder, we matched and found out we lived in same apt complex. 3 months later we moved into a 3bedroom and now 4 years later we have a beautiful 2 year old and just bought our first home together in March.
I’ve gone to St. George Street in St. Augustine on Friday/Saturday night and it’s really fun. Lots of bars within walking distance ,many have live music. There’s always bachelor/bachelorette parties going on and plenty of young single people.
My partner and I, as well as a lot of the happy couples I know, met through friends of friends.
I know it takes time that way, but it’s good for your social health to forge strong friendships and doing so can help you build your confidence. It also gives you opportunities to figure out what non-romantic characteristics you value in the people in your life, and you’ll be more sure of what you need and what you bring to the table when you do find a date.
Good friends are good filters and will save you a lot of the time lost to bad online matches. It sounds like your current friends don’t mesh with your interests - which doesn’t make them bad friends. But you might be happier if you start with finding additional, new friends who want to do the kinds of things you actually like.
Making new friends as an adult isn’t super easy but going out on nights with particular events or themes might help - check out the various Jax events Instagrams or Cre8Jax to find out what’s going on around town. Best of luck and keep your head up, it can be a lonely city but there are wonderful people here if you can find them
Tinder is the place to go for dating. Don’t take your bio too seriously. Instead go for something that makes them want to ask you for more information rather than being worried about getting the entirety of your personality on there. Or be funny if possible. Try to capture your hobbies and interests in your pictures, that is essential.
Once you’ve snagged a date then take em somewhere you like to eat. Or something like top golf, rock climbing, arcade bar, etc..
Then basically sit at home and watch anime together until you get old or move to a city with more going on 😂
Dating here is so poor compared to up north in general. You gotta be constantly looking to find someone that doesn’t have three kids and a full sleeve by 25
Some folks can dive in and out of one relationship to another. Some people need to fight a mental war just to meet a friend. Life’s got a shitty sense of humor
Going out is expensive. When I have some free time I'm out on my kayak which means I get up at 530 in the morning to try (and fail) to beat the heat. This also means I'm taking a nap around 4pm. So yeah, I don't really have any recommendations lol.
As appealing as the apps can be, they tend to just connect you with a lot of people and seeing what happens to stick. Sounds simple, but find a hobby you like. Find a group that does that hobby together for fun. Go to the meetings and local events for that hobby, and before you know it you’ll have the option to meet someone that actually has something in common with you.
Some hobbies are better for this than others but groups and events make the job a lot easier to approach.
I’m thirty nine and don’t go out because everything I require is in my house. I hope you find something that makes you happy. Your friends seem happy playing DND. Does that interest you?
Jacksonville is for introverts that like to stay home. Whether people like to stay home or not you usually work all day to afford to live and then go home tired and stay home trying not to spend much money, because there's not much worth sinking money into either.
I met my partner on Hinge. It’s a little more in depth than other dating apps. It sparks conversation opposed to just swiping. There’s a huge pool of people in Jax—don’t give up!
I meet people but things fizzle out very quickly. It’s hard to find people that want to date seriously. All of the men, my age (40) are freshly divorced, and want no parts of being in a relationship for a while. Men that are younger are not interested in getting serious.
I work at a bar. I see a lot of firsts dates. Seems like everyone meets on internet dating apps. I have seen some really dope meet cutes working behind said bar. Trivia nights seem to do well for meeting people and dating wise. Seen my fair share of people striking up a conversation .
In my opinion? The big issue is there's no third spaces anymore. Unless you're paying a cover or buying something, you're not permitted to congregate and be human.
everything is indeed far. I don't feel like driving 45 min to go and sit alone in a bar, have one drink, and then leave disappointment.
I'm thinking of moving somewhere on the east side of the buckman so I'm closer to stuff but, I have other issues preventing that right now
i grew up and lived mostly in different cities where everything is walkable and now it takes 20+ min just to get groceries! happy to be moving back after 5 years tho…wish the best of luck to you man!
I met my lady on fb dating over 2 years ago. When I was single I used to go to surfer the bar, they have an upstairs with a dj and dance floor on weekends. Putting yourself out there in different places/events will help you get experience for when somebody eventually does cross your path
Not to toot my own horn but I’ve never had an issue finding dates because I go to things that I like such as poetry readings, parties with DJs I like, arts markets etc
Build up your social circle first by participating in social activities regularly.
Neptune Run Crew. 6:45am on Friday at Lemon Bar. Run 3.5 miles from Lemon Bar. Jump in the Ocean, then get coffee with everyone at Southern Grounds afterwards. It's free to join. No signup required. They also have other runs you can ask them about or check their Instagram. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s.
Honkytonk Hammerheads - 7pm on Mondays at K1 Speed Jax at the bar - $10 lesson for the first hour then free country dancing after that. They do country swing and line dancing. Really fun. They also have other dances you can ask them about or check their Instagram. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s.
Just generally going to Jarboe Park in Neptune Beach and playing pickleball any weeknight. It's a free open public park. You can put your pickleball paddle in line and play with anyone. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s. I play with a group called Active Beaches that attends some of the other events as well. They have an Instagram page also.
These are all good starting points where you can start going regularly to make friends, then build up your social circle, and eventually ask someone to get coffee or attend another event with you.
Don't go to these trying to ask out everyone and get everyones number so you can creepily hit on them everyday.
One mistake I see a lot with guys (maybe a few ladies too) is that they join a group and immediately ask every woman they can for their phone number and invite them to dinner. On occasion, I've seen them meet their girlfriend on the first couple tries. But for most cases, this results in them getting rejected by the group because they didn't take the time to build up a lot of good reputation / social credit within the group before they tried to use it.
Tinder. But there’s lots of nerd events going on like Jax secret nerd market every first of the month during art walk, trivia nights at leaderboard arcade, sometimes you just gotta leave your friends behind and venture out on your own. Darby’s Dungeon has a ladies’ night on Tuesdays I believe! Follow stuff like GAAM and some of the bars and gaming places on instagram to get an idea about events and stuff going on. I hope you can get your friends out of the house though! Lots of fun stuff to do together if you look.
When I lived there I lived at the beach (14th N) and there was always something to do and fine people to meet. Just hop around some restaurants/bars and you’ll be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you and are NOT into just getting drunk every night but going to like little Talbot island or fishing at the jetties or spending the day in St Aug or whatever
I can honestly say while living in Jax my entire life, depending on your lifestyle n interests, dating can get brutal. I tried for years and all of a sudden I ended up not trying at all after so many failed attempts. Then again, I'm into things most ppl I know aren't into (metaphysics, energy healing, tapping into the subconscious mind etc etc but then playing guitar n jamming out to random bands n such).
I also kinda went into a slump of depression and who knows if it was from the lack of connecting with anyone or not but there's always room for improvement the way I see's it heh. I'm def a ppl person and get along with everyone even if most ppl I meet don't care for my music pref, which is mostly metal but I'm open minded these days. So being a grl into "weird topics" pffft, n metal hasn't made it easy even if you'd think I could meet some open minded friends at least! I mean, I go to shows sometimes cuz my sister n her bf are always keeping tabs on bands touring n whatnot but even when I do meet ppl at them it's not like anything where we swap numbers.
Anyways, this post gives me hope that even if we don't meet our beloved future husbands or wives, it's worth it to connect with others any way. Hell, I'd love to meet friends even to just go out exploring with. Fr, I can make any outing fun if it's with other ppl that have a sense of humor at any degree lol. Maybe the weather is too sweltering for my taste but it's always changing and there's plenty of neat stuff to do like man I actually wanna start foraging for wild plants n all! Apparently there's a bajillion different uses for a pine tree alone so yeh...forcing myself out the house in the first place is key lol I think that's what friends are for eah?!?
At 50 +, it's not much better. I tend to go to concerts, movies, arts & crafts fairs, etc. solo. The last date was more than 20 years ago before I got divorced. For a long time after my divorce, I had no interest in dating. Once I decided I was ready, I couldn't find anyone interested in even a 1st date. Heck, I have had as much trouble even finding friends to do stuff with. Life goes on though.
Match.com - It is a paid site so people will take dating more seriously. The jax beach or neptune beach bars (lemon bar, casa marina) are pretty social places but you might get a crowd that is too ragey on the party scene but still good to get out and meet strangers.
I always had good luck at Publix.
I’d go to the either of the beaches locations between 5p & 6p, when the young professionals were getting off work & picking up dinner. ORRR between 7p & 9p when they were finishing up from the gym.
Ahhhh…memories.
A lot of people are suggesting the beaches oddly enough. Considering I'm clear on the other side of town, that might explain why I'm having a hard time meeting someone
From my experience over the past 18 years here, It seems it tends to be where the active & lively people end up.
Having said that, you need to know your peer group. Are you conservative, liberal, introverted, extroverted, active, sedentary, beach person, river person, gamer, nongamer, etc.
I feel this way and I’m 27. Anytime I get a date set up they either cancel or just don’t show.
I met my boyfriend at a concert in Jacksonville about ten years ago—just a random concert at the Landing when it still was. He's quite a bit younger than me and we talked that night about music, skateboarding, diving, and surfing which we're both into but again, I just didn't see us dating per the age difference though I did think he's cute. We stayed in touch and years later started dating. I think the lesson here may be to just meet people, period, and stay in touch, see what happens. Mutual interests can go far: my boyfriend and I both are platform divers—how many people are platform divers? You know?
Met my bf of 5 years on tinder. Sometimes online dating works. You can also try a league of some sort. Jaxfray has a bunch of them
Similar story here - my wife and I met on bumble. Just gotta be picky and know your worth!
What is Jaxfray? 🤷♂️
They have an IG with all of their info and events but adult recreational sports that aren’t ultra serious and are pretty accessible to most people.
Thanks
One of my good friends met his wife at Jaxfray, but in my experience most of the players are guys.
I did skeeball and it was 60/40 female to male.
I am not a guy and I do Jax fray
Which sport do you play? I’ve played 3 and most of the time teams struggle to play with enough girls. Kickball for example requires 3 girls per team and it rarely hits that.
JAXFRAY ABSOLUTELY. I tell everyone if you are looking to make friends, that’s a good place to start. Jacksonville has so many pockets.
As a gen-xer, I do not understand zoomers. They don't date, they don't get together with their friends, they don't want to get their drivers license. It's weird. I blame the internet of course.
You probably do understand it. I mean, do you get together with your friends often? Love driving from the Northside to Southside in traffic? Everyone is home watching content, gaming, etc. for the exact same reasons haha.
I think that's a big overgeneralization. I'm gen-x, my boyfriend is a millennial, and he has a bunch of zoomer friends too. Most of them do date, they all drive it seems, they do hang out with their friends. Yes, they're on their phones lots but they're not some alien creature compared to us, either.
Gen-xers are transitioning to their boomer phase early I see.
Don’t judge all Xers on this one Boomer Lite.
Don’t judge all Xers on this one Boomer Lite.
Not all of us.
OP: "It feels like no one's going out or trying to date anymore" Me: " They don't date, they don't get together with their friends," And I'm the bad guy?
gen Z here, i’m busy. i’m trying to get college done, work every weekday and hit the gym every weekday. i’m not in a rush to meet a new partner but some of us are so busy we do not get time or have the energy to go out and meet strangers
Well, you think that because you haven’t really thought critically about the fact that there aren’t places to hang out that don’t cost a minimum of $20 (being generous) and internet is free and everyone is on there. I wish gen-xers would stop acting like they’re somehow superior to everyone else because they didn’t have cell phones as a kid.
Not necessarily better or worse, but I started with a 35 lb bag phone well before the current pocket computers we now call cell phones. Life changes over time. I still remember when gas was below $1.00 per gallon.
Met mine on hinge. We just moved to WI for the summer together not to long after we met haha. I just moved to jax so I thought the same thing. But hinge worked well for me ?
I’m 30(m), I just work then go home and play video games. I should probably visit farmers market, beach, nature parks more. But during my time off work, I just wanna be home and isolated. A circle of friends and dnd sounds dope though, maybe even some MTG would be dope. Jump in a draft night at a collectors shop would be cool too.
That's pretty much me too. I just know I need to get out but I just don't really want to lol. I've been to a few mtg nights at a few shops. I'd recommend Vortex in Orange Park or Gamer Corp in Julingtons. Java Game Haus pretty good too but they seem to still be settling into there new place
Maybe you two should go on a date.
Yo if you’re interested I’ve got a play group or can at least give you suggestions for some cool MTG events to meet folks
Not the original commenter but let me know if I can join :)
Absolutely! DM me so I don’t forget
I appreciate the reach out but my anxious side will let this one cook a bit in my mind. I'll maybe come through when I'm ready
Met my soon to be wife on Tinder. Before that I would get the occasional phone number at Keg n Coin and Root Down.
Online dating or go to places that focus on your hobbies
Met my partner of 6 years on Tinder, and most of the workplace couples I know met their partner on tinder as well. Seems to be the norm here if you weren’t HS sweethearts
That and hinge, I know two people at my job that currently married bc of Hinge.
A lot of people are saying online dating and I have to say I've been trying that and it's really not working out for me.
Find a friend (preferably of the sex you want to attract) and ask them to give you an honest look and opinion on your profile. I had to help friends with their profiles because they would make common mistakes like putting up pictures that made them look childish, profiles that were longer to read than The Stand, being way too specific on who they want, and so much more. Just little changes to increase your dating pool and get more matches plus getting better at talking to people on there.
Also all of the profiles look basically the same...all abt travel/dogs/enjoying food/the outdoors. Incredibly boring
Yeah, lots of people suck at profiles but not everyone is going to dump their purse on their profile. Women also have to be careful not to put too much on there. That attitude of being too picky won’t help you either. You don’t people who enjoy food, animals, traveling, or go outdoors? That's enough for you to swipe left and not talk to a person and finding out more about them?
It can just be a good idea to stand out a bit more :)
You could, you could also give people a chance and talk to them and find out more. Not everyone is going to put that their majors or brag about themselves and peacock their profiles. You know what was on my wife's profile? A few simple photos of her (that I liked), she said she likes to read and loves animals. That was enough for a right swipe, she could be cool to talk to even if just for a bit. After a swipe we matched and we talked. Found out she has a Bachelors in Studio Arts and Art History with a deep knowledge in Renaissance period, is a great cook, and loves sitting on the coach to watch Netflix with snacks. After talking a while we agree to go on a date and was instantly smitten by her. Couple years later I am marrying this women in a few months. Imagine if I didn't swipe right because I thought her profile was too simple. Maybe if you looked at her profile you would've called her boring too. People want to treat dating profiles like resumes that check all their boxes before you give them a chance to even talk to you and find out more? That's fine. Some people don't want to put in the work of getting to know people (I think they call that dating) and just want the right match for them. Those same people are likely going to wait a LONG time to get matched or worse they swiped left on potential people. You know how people dated before Tinder? You see someone, something spark an initial attraction, you talk, you realize you'd like to talk more, exchange numbers, and talk some more. That initial attraction is so key and what so many forget in online dating. They don't let the spark, they do the mental checkbox and move on then complain about being single.
Maybe you're just not impressed by attractive faces and basic profiles. For some people it takes a lot more to give a fuck. Can relate if so.
For me a lot of attraction is after getting to know someone, seeing their mannerisms etc!
Same for me. My problem is it typically takes me years to be at all interested and those people are good friends, hence why I've known them for years. And then I don't want to fuck up the friendship, because keeping people in my life is the most important thing to me. It's not a great cycle. Whatcha gonna do?
can I take a look at your profile? I met my Jax partner on Hinge
nah I mean, I already know my profile sucks its just I hate taking pictures of myself and I already have very low perception of myself. I just cant stand trying to make a profile showing off all of my best features when I cant see them in myself
Hate to say it bud but you’ve gotta work on that before you get into anything or you may self-sabotage a good thing
well then shit why are you trying to date? Even counting out online dating, how do you expect anyone to like you if you don't like yourself?
I've been single for a very long time. I don't think its crazy to think I must be ugly or something
well, even ugly people can find partners. Getting to a point where you like yourself will help you find a partner more than "not being ugly" will. At least, a partner worth being with.
Ask a friend to take your pic. Maybe doing something you enjoy. Candid
Listen I’m not saying online dating is easy. I went through many guys that weren’t for me before I met my bf. It’s not going to happen overnight. He is also a few years younger than me. I was holding myself back by having tight restrictions. IMO it’s better to meet right away and get to know each other in real life. People can be wildly different IRL compared to online.
It took me three years on and off of online dating to find my boyfriend. I met him on Hinge and everyone else I know met their partner that way too
Me either . I just moved here and I really don't know anyone. But hopefully that will change.
Agree with asking a friend of the opposite sex to look at your profile. A lot of men’s profiles I see are set up to attract other men, not women.
It sucks. Not many young adults here (without a family or child). Online dating pool is small and everyone is so spread out. Went to tampa recently and the swiping there was 🔥
Hey hey hey us 40 +are having the same problem you are!
You aren't lying!
Maybe we all need to plan something
Maybe
Same!!
Maybe we all need to plan something
Its awful in our 40s too. And online dating is the worst, so not even trying that anymore. I've even seen ads for speed dating and thought to try that just to find out the one that popped up was no one over 40 haha
Same!! I just want to at least have some friends to hang with
Tinder is a solid. You should try art walk this Wednesday. It’s every first Wednesday of the month. Lots of chill people. Good luck!
Ooo where’s the art walk at?
Jax beach has a college crowd there on weekends
Met my wife on hinge. Got married and just had a baby a couple months ago lol. Online works!
Met mine at a motorcycle meet so kinda niche tbh
I don’t think it’s a Jax thing, I think overall people are sort of over the shallowness (and mental stress) of online dating so they aren’t bothering as much anymore. At the same time, I think a lot of us are realizing that many of the places we used to hang out are either totally gone or we have been aged out of (like university classes) or priced out of (like how stuff costs $30 to do). We are always hearing about the disappearing third places these days. As a result of that I think the answer to “where is everyone” is at home, or at work/school. I personally don’t date anymore because I just don’t really have the interest, but last time I was getting dates was using Hinge. WITH THAT SAID, my quality of matches was pretty low compared to previous experiences. I remember when I first started online dating in the 00s/10s I would fill out a whole thing on the then most popular site OKCupid and get good matches, and now I’m expected to condense down to a couple quick lines and attract with photos, which is just not how I experience attraction to people. Not to mention a lot of men just throw a bunch of lines out so you get the feeling they aren’t actually into you, they just wanted to get a date (from a woman’s perspective). I occasionally see singles events but I can’t imagine they’re very fun or successful. I think the best way to meet people is to just try to capitalize on your hobbies, take classes that interest you, etc. This is and has always been the best way to make friends. I think the best solution is to go back to our roots and force ourselves to interact with strangers, lol.
You def aren’t alone in this. 29yo male here. I don’t really do anything outside of work, and chill at home with my critters. I’m extremely introverted, and have also had a hard time with the Tindr dating scene, and making friends in general. I’ve asked this question myself before, and it seems to be the general idea is meet someone on Tindr, or go to events/ places where people who share similar interests will be. I’ve about given up on the whole Tindr thing, not for me. I honestly at this point am just trying to be happy with myself and get my shit taken care of, and meet someone organically when the opportunity presents itself. Like others have suggested, riverside arts market is cool. There’s also lots of online group meet up themed things you can find. Unfortunately it takes going out the front door and interacting with people to make a connection. I feel the struggle. But best of luck to you and hope you find helpful advice here!
28F here & completely agree. On top of being a huge introvert, I work from home. Definitely diminishes the opportunities to meet people, friends or otherwise. I enjoy my alone time but do miss having close connections!
I met my husband at a trivia night at xtreme wings. We dated for 4 years now married for 3.
Your best bet is to meet people at bars but if you go alone often times you will be seen as a weirdo. You can meet a younger crowd by going to beach bars like shim sham in that area. Typically people in their 20s if you want a bit more mature riverside.
I'm 37 and single. Hi👋
Just met a Girl at Publix works every time😌
I’m from Miami, been here for about 3 years now. So I immediately noticed the environment of dating was gonna be DIFFERENT. Personally I go out on my own. I’m never waiting around for friends in order to have a great time. Half the time I go out, I end up running into ppl I know anyway. Secondly, you asked “where tf is everyone?” lol. I thought the same thing I promise. Make time to go out to the different events (Taco & Tequila festival, Dancing in the Streets, ArtWalk, River City Arts Market, Concerts, sports games, etc.), it doesn’t have to be just go to the bars and drink every time you want to meet someone whether your looking for something casual or not. Everyone likes the events going on and just think they are great places to meet
Don't discount the fact that things were a bit different 3 years ago <.<
I wouldn’t know, wasn’t here
You should try a Meetup group. There's a big one in Jax called Jax Social 20's/30's. It's not primarily for dating, but it's a great way to meet people you might consider dating.
I don't know where anyone is meeting anyone any more?
Met my soon to be wife on Tinder, we matched and found out we lived in same apt complex. 3 months later we moved into a 3bedroom and now 4 years later we have a beautiful 2 year old and just bought our first home together in March.
I’ve gone to St. George Street in St. Augustine on Friday/Saturday night and it’s really fun. Lots of bars within walking distance ,many have live music. There’s always bachelor/bachelorette parties going on and plenty of young single people.
Well I'm 40+ so I'm no help 🤣🤣
My partner and I, as well as a lot of the happy couples I know, met through friends of friends. I know it takes time that way, but it’s good for your social health to forge strong friendships and doing so can help you build your confidence. It also gives you opportunities to figure out what non-romantic characteristics you value in the people in your life, and you’ll be more sure of what you need and what you bring to the table when you do find a date. Good friends are good filters and will save you a lot of the time lost to bad online matches. It sounds like your current friends don’t mesh with your interests - which doesn’t make them bad friends. But you might be happier if you start with finding additional, new friends who want to do the kinds of things you actually like. Making new friends as an adult isn’t super easy but going out on nights with particular events or themes might help - check out the various Jax events Instagrams or Cre8Jax to find out what’s going on around town. Best of luck and keep your head up, it can be a lonely city but there are wonderful people here if you can find them
I met my ex(es) at work, so I couldn't tell you. Good luck though!!
Tinder is the place to go for dating. Don’t take your bio too seriously. Instead go for something that makes them want to ask you for more information rather than being worried about getting the entirety of your personality on there. Or be funny if possible. Try to capture your hobbies and interests in your pictures, that is essential. Once you’ve snagged a date then take em somewhere you like to eat. Or something like top golf, rock climbing, arcade bar, etc.. Then basically sit at home and watch anime together until you get old or move to a city with more going on 😂
Same thing I moved here in December and have had a very hard time just meeting people outside of work or even finding dates… kind of depressing tbh
That’s cuz everyone under 40 is too busy working and recovering from work to go out just so they can afford an ever increasing cost of living
Go to Surfer or The Ritz. Average age is like 24 there!
Dating here is so poor compared to up north in general. You gotta be constantly looking to find someone that doesn’t have three kids and a full sleeve by 25
Single Moms are one of this area's most abundant natural resources!
Some folks can dive in and out of one relationship to another. Some people need to fight a mental war just to meet a friend. Life’s got a shitty sense of humor
i’m gonna say tinder like everyone else! i had a lot of luck and met my boyfriend there x
Met my wife through volunteering in the community!
Going out is expensive. When I have some free time I'm out on my kayak which means I get up at 530 in the morning to try (and fail) to beat the heat. This also means I'm taking a nap around 4pm. So yeah, I don't really have any recommendations lol.
Met my fiance on bumble almost a year ago
Where are all these 40+ people you are seeing???
Come out to the southwest side I guess
There are singles mingle events. Not sure if that helps. I shouldn’t be giving advice; I’m hot and been single for over a decade despite trying.
How is that possible?
My standards are too high. Almost unattainable.
As appealing as the apps can be, they tend to just connect you with a lot of people and seeing what happens to stick. Sounds simple, but find a hobby you like. Find a group that does that hobby together for fun. Go to the meetings and local events for that hobby, and before you know it you’ll have the option to meet someone that actually has something in common with you. Some hobbies are better for this than others but groups and events make the job a lot easier to approach.
I’m thirty nine and don’t go out because everything I require is in my house. I hope you find something that makes you happy. Your friends seem happy playing DND. Does that interest you?
Jacksonville is for introverts that like to stay home. Whether people like to stay home or not you usually work all day to afford to live and then go home tired and stay home trying not to spend much money, because there's not much worth sinking money into either.
I met my partner on Hinge. It’s a little more in depth than other dating apps. It sparks conversation opposed to just swiping. There’s a huge pool of people in Jax—don’t give up!
I meet people but things fizzle out very quickly. It’s hard to find people that want to date seriously. All of the men, my age (40) are freshly divorced, and want no parts of being in a relationship for a while. Men that are younger are not interested in getting serious.
I work at a bar. I see a lot of firsts dates. Seems like everyone meets on internet dating apps. I have seen some really dope meet cutes working behind said bar. Trivia nights seem to do well for meeting people and dating wise. Seen my fair share of people striking up a conversation .
In my opinion? The big issue is there's no third spaces anymore. Unless you're paying a cover or buying something, you're not permitted to congregate and be human.
Just turned 40, great career. The problem is that everyone I meet is incredibly ignorant and uneducated Where are the smart women without chest tatts?
Dating is all online now. I’ve met a bunch a nice girls all around the city. Download a couple of apps, get swiping and setup your own outing!
I just did dating apps and just did a date a day until I met someone worth going on a second date with and now we’ve been together for 6 years.
everything is far
everything is indeed far. I don't feel like driving 45 min to go and sit alone in a bar, have one drink, and then leave disappointment. I'm thinking of moving somewhere on the east side of the buckman so I'm closer to stuff but, I have other issues preventing that right now
i grew up and lived mostly in different cities where everything is walkable and now it takes 20+ min just to get groceries! happy to be moving back after 5 years tho…wish the best of luck to you man!
1987
I met my lady on fb dating over 2 years ago. When I was single I used to go to surfer the bar, they have an upstairs with a dj and dance floor on weekends. Putting yourself out there in different places/events will help you get experience for when somebody eventually does cross your path
Start by going to things you’re interested in.
Not to toot my own horn but I’ve never had an issue finding dates because I go to things that I like such as poetry readings, parties with DJs I like, arts markets etc
Build up your social circle first by participating in social activities regularly. Neptune Run Crew. 6:45am on Friday at Lemon Bar. Run 3.5 miles from Lemon Bar. Jump in the Ocean, then get coffee with everyone at Southern Grounds afterwards. It's free to join. No signup required. They also have other runs you can ask them about or check their Instagram. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s. Honkytonk Hammerheads - 7pm on Mondays at K1 Speed Jax at the bar - $10 lesson for the first hour then free country dancing after that. They do country swing and line dancing. Really fun. They also have other dances you can ask them about or check their Instagram. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s. Just generally going to Jarboe Park in Neptune Beach and playing pickleball any weeknight. It's a free open public park. You can put your pickleball paddle in line and play with anyone. Good mix of guys and gals in 20s/30s. I play with a group called Active Beaches that attends some of the other events as well. They have an Instagram page also. These are all good starting points where you can start going regularly to make friends, then build up your social circle, and eventually ask someone to get coffee or attend another event with you. Don't go to these trying to ask out everyone and get everyones number so you can creepily hit on them everyday. One mistake I see a lot with guys (maybe a few ladies too) is that they join a group and immediately ask every woman they can for their phone number and invite them to dinner. On occasion, I've seen them meet their girlfriend on the first couple tries. But for most cases, this results in them getting rejected by the group because they didn't take the time to build up a lot of good reputation / social credit within the group before they tried to use it.
Tinder. But there’s lots of nerd events going on like Jax secret nerd market every first of the month during art walk, trivia nights at leaderboard arcade, sometimes you just gotta leave your friends behind and venture out on your own. Darby’s Dungeon has a ladies’ night on Tuesdays I believe! Follow stuff like GAAM and some of the bars and gaming places on instagram to get an idea about events and stuff going on. I hope you can get your friends out of the house though! Lots of fun stuff to do together if you look.
When I lived there I lived at the beach (14th N) and there was always something to do and fine people to meet. Just hop around some restaurants/bars and you’ll be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you and are NOT into just getting drunk every night but going to like little Talbot island or fishing at the jetties or spending the day in St Aug or whatever
I can honestly say while living in Jax my entire life, depending on your lifestyle n interests, dating can get brutal. I tried for years and all of a sudden I ended up not trying at all after so many failed attempts. Then again, I'm into things most ppl I know aren't into (metaphysics, energy healing, tapping into the subconscious mind etc etc but then playing guitar n jamming out to random bands n such). I also kinda went into a slump of depression and who knows if it was from the lack of connecting with anyone or not but there's always room for improvement the way I see's it heh. I'm def a ppl person and get along with everyone even if most ppl I meet don't care for my music pref, which is mostly metal but I'm open minded these days. So being a grl into "weird topics" pffft, n metal hasn't made it easy even if you'd think I could meet some open minded friends at least! I mean, I go to shows sometimes cuz my sister n her bf are always keeping tabs on bands touring n whatnot but even when I do meet ppl at them it's not like anything where we swap numbers. Anyways, this post gives me hope that even if we don't meet our beloved future husbands or wives, it's worth it to connect with others any way. Hell, I'd love to meet friends even to just go out exploring with. Fr, I can make any outing fun if it's with other ppl that have a sense of humor at any degree lol. Maybe the weather is too sweltering for my taste but it's always changing and there's plenty of neat stuff to do like man I actually wanna start foraging for wild plants n all! Apparently there's a bajillion different uses for a pine tree alone so yeh...forcing myself out the house in the first place is key lol I think that's what friends are for eah?!?
I don't think my person is in the same city or state at this point
At 50 +, it's not much better. I tend to go to concerts, movies, arts & crafts fairs, etc. solo. The last date was more than 20 years ago before I got divorced. For a long time after my divorce, I had no interest in dating. Once I decided I was ready, I couldn't find anyone interested in even a 1st date. Heck, I have had as much trouble even finding friends to do stuff with. Life goes on though.
Take yourself and meet a 40+ person.
Match.com - It is a paid site so people will take dating more seriously. The jax beach or neptune beach bars (lemon bar, casa marina) are pretty social places but you might get a crowd that is too ragey on the party scene but still good to get out and meet strangers.
I always had good luck at Publix. I’d go to the either of the beaches locations between 5p & 6p, when the young professionals were getting off work & picking up dinner. ORRR between 7p & 9p when they were finishing up from the gym. Ahhhh…memories.
A lot of people are suggesting the beaches oddly enough. Considering I'm clear on the other side of town, that might explain why I'm having a hard time meeting someone
From my experience over the past 18 years here, It seems it tends to be where the active & lively people end up. Having said that, you need to know your peer group. Are you conservative, liberal, introverted, extroverted, active, sedentary, beach person, river person, gamer, nongamer, etc.