I’m a guy so I don’t know for sure but I’d imagine that it’s 10x harder as a woman to go do your hobby when your hobby involves wrapping your legs and arms around a guy that you rejected and are pretty sure is loving every minute of it. I’d imagine every roll would have some underlying level of sexual tension that didn’t exist before. Before it was all just normal jiu jitsu, now every accidental boob graze is probably getting deposited straight into the spank bank.
Idk there are events for people specifically looking to make friends, I did one that was for bowling and made a friend group that way (I moved to a new town)
Online dating is best. I'm absolutely serious: it's easy to approach people on Bumble or whatever without being creepy, and to reject people without it being awkward. I have not dated a woman I met IRL since 2015.
If you do decide to ask, make sure it is outside of Jiu jitsu, nothing worse for her than having her safe space tainted by potentially unwanted attention
As a woman, I would suggest be friends first and see if you both have more in common than JJ. PLUS by doing this it will not only make her feel comfortable but you might find you are better as friends.... but if you both have similar interests ....then maybe take that next step .... but be prepared to change JJ places if it doesn't work out
This how I met my husband. We would train together but then we also would go out to eat n drinks after open mat. After like 6 months, I told him I liked him n he said same lol And that was like 6 years ago.
Agree. I typically would say don't date gym partners, period, but if this guy is really into her then he should definitely gauge whether they have more in common than just JJ and try to become friends before trying anything else.
Not true. I’m attracted to women I won’t ever date or have sex with or even be friends with. Don’t put your dick in crazy doesn’t mean you aren’t attracted.
There are other girls mate. Unless you feel strongly about it I would advise you not to date gym members. If you do feel strongly about it I wish you luck.
She’s there to train, leave her alone. If she was interested in you she would reach out over social media. Don’t shit where you eat, don’t think with your dick, etc etc.
Here’s the thing, you have more to lose than to gain. You could ruin your reputation at your safe space and might make you uncomfortable if she rejects you etc.
Ask her out only if she initiates the flirting, texting, etc. Girls are very obvious when they like someone. They treat you different and they spend more time with you when they’re around you.
If she’s not doing any of these things, don’t even think about it. Besides, if you really like her, maybe spend more time with her and get to know her more.
Maybe learn to get comfortable with her by making jokes, sharing day to day stories, idk just bond or have fun with her as a friend first. Then maybe you’ll look past what you see on the outside and maybe your crush will go away.
Idk dude, idk the situation at all but I can tell you for a fact that you have more to lose than to gain and the only time you should do it is if she is initiating everything and making it obvious she likes you.
In a jiu jitsu gym. Yeah, definitely a safe place for her to be able to say no to some random dude asking her out. Its not about being alpha, he's asking how to be respectful. The respectful thing would be to talk to her outside of the gym, not approach her and demand he get his shot at getting in her pants
Dude. You've got some weird issues. No one is demanding.
It's pretty beta to overanalyze it. Just do it. Either enjoy it or shake it off. Fuck that worrying about offending people by living.
It's shorthand for confidence and boldness vs fear and low self esteem. Stop trying to act superior fool.
Sorry if you haven't learned that women like confidence. I've been with my current gf now for a year and a half, and I approached her at a park where I was going to play volleyball. Just told her I had to tell her how beautiful she was and get her name, but also that I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.
Try it my friend. No matter the outcome, be proud of your approach
It may be shorthand for you, but it screams insecurity to everybody around you.
Please don't drag me into your pickup shenanigans, I'm not into women, and I'm not your friend.
Dude…there are a thousand gyms where ever you’re at. Only one girl like that, if you’re really feeling her. If you gotta chance take it brother. Send those down votes, I said what I said.
Behind every good man, is a good woman. There are a lot of “good” gyms. Not many good women out there. Just like those gyms, this guy should follow his heart.
What the fuck do you mean opinion nothing in this post indicates he has even spoken to the woman outside of training
Just because you like someone doesnt give you the right to harrass them. Fact.
Unwanted sexual or romantic attention is harrassment. This poor woman is not in a space where she is searching for partners. She is trying to train. leave her the fuck alone
Bahdee. Asking a woman out is how it should go. If you don't have the balls, she don't suck your balls. You don't know if it's unwanted until you try.
Really though, it's just about not being weird about it. Ask and let it go. Be able to take a no. Boom, done.
Asking a woman if she is interested isn’t harassment. How the fuck else are you supposed to know if she is interested? You have to take chances in life and if he doesn’t ever ask her then he will never know. Only children think like that. And if she says no then you drop it because THAT is respectful. Pursuing someone after they’ve turned you down is harassment. Fact.
I'm just saying, said it's Priceless for a good gym. But you are not going to go to a good gym for free. It literally costs money. Currency. Dinero. Moolah.
Fuck that. Live loud. Pursue and let it roll off your back if it doesn't go your way. Women want someone who goes for what they want, don't spend ages doing analysis of how she looked at you. Fortune favors the bold
And don’t fabricate those signs in your mind. They need to be real. I used to wait until someone else noticed and would say something like “dang she’s into you” or something like that.
Then you haven't seen it happen at all. Out of like 10 gym relationships I've seen I can only think of 1 that has failed.
Go look up how almost any professional fighter met their other, I can almost guarantee it was in a gym. You can talk to people and get a group to go get lunch or dinner after open mat and get to know the person, idk why you're all thinking so one dimensionally.
The only way to do this right is develop a relationship outside your school.
Maybe a group goes and gets food/beers after training and you strike up a conversation there.
Try a group setting first. If you have friends in common from the gym try to get something together but don’t only invite her to join your friends. Invite her and a few of her friends. Hopefully you have some mutual ones.
Also, I read a lot of comments about letting her approach you first. That’s probably not going to happen in the gym. 1. If she doesn’t like you that way she won’t. 2. If she does like you that way she still probably won’t because she is about to or has just rolled and looks less than her best.
Shoot your shot but just do it outside of the gym in a place she is comfortable. Don’t make you first a marriage proposal. Say something like “Hey, you seem really nice, want to grab a coffee or something sometime?” Don’t put a lot of pressure on her to go out with you or to reject you. Respect her decision. If she says no don’t be creepy about it or stalker like. If she says yes don’t go overboard.
Find something in common besides jiu jitsu, maybe reach out on social media outside the gym and talk about it. If your conversation flows well, ask if she’d like to do said activity (or even just coffee or lunch) sometime. If she says yes, move forward
If she says no, or dances around without directly saying no like I’m not sure when I’m free or etc just move on she ain’t into you
Take it easy, you may simply like the idea of her. A girl who’s attractive and interested In the sport you’re interested in. Make friends and get to know her platonically, you’ll know to go for it or not when you do this. And if you don’t go for it, you gain a friend.
I do agree with some of the advice I’ve seen here. The gym is sanctity for both of you. Also, I believe in going after A woman if you truly want her. Make friends and get to know her
I feel like you just made those up. I agree with your view on the situation, but the idioms are getting me twisted, man. Like, what if I’m at work—shouldn’t I be using company ink? And why have your own pier if not to use it? That’s all I’m saying.
Ya know I'm sorry for changing the conversation but I've had a question about jiu jitsu for awhile now and it kinda related: Alright I'm starting my first bjj class Wednesday, and I've always wondered what am I to do if I have to roll with a really hot girl (or guy I'm bisexual). I mean I already have a gf that I love and wouldn't trade for ANYBODY, So I'm not looking to have sex with anybody but I don't wanna accidentally pop a fat boner in the middle of a roll!!!! Dumb question but has this happened to anybody before? I'm 20 so ya know sometimes they just random:)
Well…after getting a bit closer to her in a friend/training partner way only I think she’s “with” the coach…I could be wrong but it’s just the vibe I get
I’ve done similar but in the workplace. It can get really bad, but also the opposite. Just be respectful and have good intentions, if you don’t it’s a disaster and welcome to reality.
Just don’t be a creepy douchebag be real. There’s a lot of dudes in the gym who wouldn’t mind breaking a creepers arm.
Ive learned this the hard way, my one sinple advise: Dont shit where you eat.
when we ended our relationship, she would cry in front of coach and ends up coach killing me during rolls everytime
I suggest you shoot your shot. The Expected Value of trying to connect to people is extraordinarily high, regardless of the probability of success or the possible results of failure (which, if you are reasonable and mature, you can do a lot towards making those outcomes not so bad). Because the value of the wins is so high.
Although I enjoy the analogy; "don't shit where you eat" I do believe that the phrase "do not mix business with pleasure" is a much more fitting way to speak on ones sexual experience or lack thereof...
Like the other comments that aren’t anywhere near close enough to the top… if there isn’t signs the feelings are reciprocated then don’t fuck up both of your gym lives by making a move
super risky. even if y’all do date for 2 years, if you guys break-up then the gym is suddenly super uncomfortable. you’d have to change gyms and i’m sure rolling would remind you of them considering that was the main bonding activity
Do something fun and interesting and invite her to hang out. Just as friends, be cool, both when asking and when hanging out. Truly try to get to know her as a friend first. Even safer if you invite her to something that other friends will be at, especially girls.
Its a bad look to ask someone out at a regular gym. You know, the kind where people aren’t constantly grabbing each other’s bodies, hugging each other, and rolling around on the floor?
I’d just let it go.
At most just put out a friend vibe and if something platonic evolves out side of the gym then you take it out side of the gym.
Good fucking luck my guy. I wouldn’t go for it speaking from past experience, never goes well. I wish it never happened I’d much rather us be friends without the awkwardness. I miss it being normal. Tension even after 3 years is rough.
Get to know her outside of the gym first. You don't REALLY know if this is someone you want to date. If things click then tell her you feel something and would like to explore but if she doesn't feel the same then just let it go and don't make it awkward for her.
I found training after a year dudes will hit on you with no idea who you are and attach who you are just because you are cute and train BJJ. Every man within the vicinity will try to shoot their shot which can be disheartening since it feels like they don't take you seriously as a training partner.
Y’all are nuts 🤣
Just ask her out. How can we as Jiu jitsu people be comfortable in the uncomfortable but not socialize at the gym?
The problem I see is that you’re making a big deal about it. She’s going to respond based on how you present it.
It’s not a big deal, honestly, be casual about it and just ask if she’d like to go out sometime.
Aw, man, don't. I am a girl. Jujitsu is an all contact discipline. I have to feel comfortable with wrapping my legs around a training partner or having him pin him. When one guy (nice and all) tried to ask me out, that truly fucked up my comfort levels and ruined that gym for me.
Don’t do it bc it can be awkward if she says no. But if you do, maybe do a social gathering/bar and invite multiple people at the gym to go. If she’s interested, she may go and maybe it’s your chance to talk to her outside of the gym.
Ya know I'm sorry for changing the conversation but I've had a question about jiu jitsu for awhile now and it kinda related: Alright I'm starting my first bjj class Wednesday, and I've always wondered what am I to do if I have to roll with a really hot girl (or guy I'm bisexual). I mean I already have a gf that I love and wouldn't trade for ANYBODY, So I'm not looking to have sex with anybody but I don't wanna accidentally pop a fat boner in the middle of a roll!!!! Dumb question but has this happened to anybody before? I'm 20 so ya know sometimes they just random:)
Ohhh I don’t know man. Depends on how much you like the gym-style of training. Can you switch if the relationship tanks?
Ignore the people who are telling you to be careful if she says no…this is part of the chase, the reason why men persist: we can handle rejection and keep on going.
Start off slow by trying to do little things like stare at her while she’s stretching. Then every so often when you guys are close together try to get a good smell of her hair. (Ladies love it when they catch you sniffing them)
Ask her when you are applying a RNC. Whisper it in her ear. She wont be able to resist.
In all seriousness, dont do it. Dont make it awkward for either of you
You’re going to meet people doing the things you like. If you think you’re a chance go for it. If you have to change gyms after so be it. You’re not trying to do anything wrong by her
Don't do it, I did it and didn't want to train anymore because I knew if I went I'd only wanna be with her, plus she ended up breaking me and now I can't train at that gym in fear of seeing her
Just don’t be weird about it have some confidence but this is how I met my wife she was a blue belt when I started and we just kinda clicked instantly we rolled consistently did open mats together talked a lot as friends first found out we have a ton in common and then one day after about 3-4 months of friendship I shot her a message we started dating And I found my twin flame we got married after a year and been happy every since jiujitsu is a beautiful art and the gym is our happy place where the world just doesn’t matter for awhile that being said it can also bring happiness in the form of another person just be respectful and ask outside of class after you get to know her
Don’t. The chances of it working out forever are very slim and the chances that it ends with at least one of you feeling weird about going to that gym are high. Go find a girlfriend elsewhere. Besides, keep Jiu Jitsu as a place of solace when life is kicking you in the nuts. If you date a training partner you could easily lose that.
Have you had a conversation with this girl yet? What is the level of interaction and what is the basis for attraction?
You can be sly about things without torpedoing anything. I have hair past my shoulders and a girl at my gym offered to braid it for me once. It was kind of a strange offer and she always arrives with the same guy though, but they looked alike and I thought it was maybe her brother. So I just asked what her brother's name was. She laughed and said it was her husband, so that solved that real quick.
Could be as simple as asking if she goes and watches UFC with her boyfriend. If she says she's single, say if you'd ever like to go I'd be down, and just leave it at that. That way you've expressed interest in a very chill way and it leaves the ball in her court of she's interested. If she's not, then no embarrassment.
I think if she's a girl doing Jiu Jitsu, she probably has a fair bit of self confidence and isn't going to get rattled easily. A low key check for interest is probably okay.
At my gym the idea is keep romance off the mats, obviously there’s no controlling what you two do outside of the gym…HOWEVER, if something does start and one party (either you or her) stops training at the gym because things went south, the one still around has to pay the leaving party’s membership for the rest of the year. So probably best to just bury that deep deep down, and never bring it up again
No brother don’t shit where you eat
This is the way
100% agree that you don’t do it. It’s her safe space and yours. Keep it about the training.
This is awesome advice here!
Don't troll where you roll. Don't hit up where you tap out
If you can’t meet girls at your hobbies, where are you supposed to meet them?
I’m a guy so I don’t know for sure but I’d imagine that it’s 10x harder as a woman to go do your hobby when your hobby involves wrapping your legs and arms around a guy that you rejected and are pretty sure is loving every minute of it. I’d imagine every roll would have some underlying level of sexual tension that didn’t exist before. Before it was all just normal jiu jitsu, now every accidental boob graze is probably getting deposited straight into the spank bank.
Yeah BJJ isn't a normal hobby, most hobbies it would be fine...
Yea it's already too touchy of a sport. Just ask her to spar and let her practice her moves on you
Lmfaoooo that's hilarious
Go to hobbies that are more casual like runner groups, bar trivia, book clubs, social meet ups, idk Just anything other than a gym
Tf is a social meet up?
Idk there are events for people specifically looking to make friends, I did one that was for bowling and made a friend group that way (I moved to a new town)
Where’d you learn about this meet up? Facebook?
Ok, maybe he can meet one at a tournament? Then he can say "she goes to another dojo"
Wear tight nut huggers on no gi day and see if there's any stares 👀. Sacrifices are needed
Online dating is best. I'm absolutely serious: it's easy to approach people on Bumble or whatever without being creepy, and to reject people without it being awkward. I have not dated a woman I met IRL since 2015.
Speaking from experience, its not a good idea.
This guy knows what’s up. Don’t date from your gym.
Yup
This 100%.
If you do decide to ask, make sure it is outside of Jiu jitsu, nothing worse for her than having her safe space tainted by potentially unwanted attention
Yes, keep it outside the gym.
Dont, the gym is a happy place
Bruh it's so annoying when all the chicks want to grapple with me because of my huge shoulders and penis.
I feel your pain brotha let’s just roll together just our huge shoulders and wangs no girls allowed 😂😂😂
Lmao😭
As a woman, I would suggest be friends first and see if you both have more in common than JJ. PLUS by doing this it will not only make her feel comfortable but you might find you are better as friends.... but if you both have similar interests ....then maybe take that next step .... but be prepared to change JJ places if it doesn't work out
This how I met my husband. We would train together but then we also would go out to eat n drinks after open mat. After like 6 months, I told him I liked him n he said same lol And that was like 6 years ago.
Thats beautiful
This is good advice OP
Agree. I typically would say don't date gym partners, period, but if this guy is really into her then he should definitely gauge whether they have more in common than just JJ and try to become friends before trying anything else.
No GUY has ever said “we’re better as friends” to a woman he’s attracted to
I have a number of female friends I find attractive, and I would say exactly that about them.
Not true. I’m attracted to women I won’t ever date or have sex with or even be friends with. Don’t put your dick in crazy doesn’t mean you aren’t attracted.
This sounds like a one way ticket to the friend zone for most guys.
Nah
Simple, yet poignant advice.
Prepare in advance to move to another city and/or gym, or possibly quitting. Otherwise, get you some.
Exactly. Not unless he’s willing to gym hop.
I wouldn't. If it ends badly that's going to ruin your training experience. Though I guess one of you can switch to an alternate class.
There are other girls mate. Unless you feel strongly about it I would advise you not to date gym members. If you do feel strongly about it I wish you luck.
If pat berry can do it so can this guy, go find your rose buddy!
Wtf is wrong with you?
She’s there to train, leave her alone. If she was interested in you she would reach out over social media. Don’t shit where you eat, don’t think with your dick, etc etc.
Don't do it
You’ll regret it
Here’s the thing, you have more to lose than to gain. You could ruin your reputation at your safe space and might make you uncomfortable if she rejects you etc. Ask her out only if she initiates the flirting, texting, etc. Girls are very obvious when they like someone. They treat you different and they spend more time with you when they’re around you. If she’s not doing any of these things, don’t even think about it. Besides, if you really like her, maybe spend more time with her and get to know her more. Maybe learn to get comfortable with her by making jokes, sharing day to day stories, idk just bond or have fun with her as a friend first. Then maybe you’ll look past what you see on the outside and maybe your crush will go away. Idk dude, idk the situation at all but I can tell you for a fact that you have more to lose than to gain and the only time you should do it is if she is initiating everything and making it obvious she likes you.
This is solid advice.
You leave her alone. If she likes you, she will approach you.
Very alpha. Or just go for it and if it's a no go, who cares. Better to have shooteth the shot, than to have never shooteth at all
In a jiu jitsu gym. Yeah, definitely a safe place for her to be able to say no to some random dude asking her out. Its not about being alpha, he's asking how to be respectful. The respectful thing would be to talk to her outside of the gym, not approach her and demand he get his shot at getting in her pants
Dude. You've got some weird issues. No one is demanding. It's pretty beta to overanalyze it. Just do it. Either enjoy it or shake it off. Fuck that worrying about offending people by living.
Dude, the fact that you're genuinely using this alpha/beta bullshit to support your claim renders your entire argument useless.
It's shorthand for confidence and boldness vs fear and low self esteem. Stop trying to act superior fool. Sorry if you haven't learned that women like confidence. I've been with my current gf now for a year and a half, and I approached her at a park where I was going to play volleyball. Just told her I had to tell her how beautiful she was and get her name, but also that I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. Try it my friend. No matter the outcome, be proud of your approach
It may be shorthand for you, but it screams insecurity to everybody around you. Please don't drag me into your pickup shenanigans, I'm not into women, and I'm not your friend.
Who hurt you my friend? Point then out to me. The negativity is too much. Be well.
Mount her, whisper "i love you" in her ear and start kissing her. Guaranteed wife. Everyone will clap.
do NOT do this….
🐓🧱
Hater.
I just don’t wanna see the poor guy get folded up like a pretzel and violently rejected at the same time..
God no. Someone actually pulled something similar on me one time. I’m still traumatized.
I know the original comment was a joke but I’m really sorry that happened to you. That’s assault. Hope you kicked his ass.
Always count on humans to ruin an activity for someone else. Hope they kicked you out of the gym.
Knowing my gym, everybody would beat you up.
😅😅
Then proceed by jumping into an arm bar👏👏
Don’t shit where you eat.
Dude…there are a thousand gyms where ever you’re at. Only one girl like that, if you’re really feeling her. If you gotta chance take it brother. Send those down votes, I said what I said.
I don't know, man. There's lots of girls out there. A good gym, though? That's priceless.
Definitely more good women than good gyms where I am
Behind every good man, is a good woman. There are a lot of “good” gyms. Not many good women out there. Just like those gyms, this guy should follow his heart.
This guy knows nothing about this girl outside of the gym. Stop encouraging pathetic dudes to harrass innocent women who are just trying to train
Opinion
What the fuck do you mean opinion nothing in this post indicates he has even spoken to the woman outside of training Just because you like someone doesnt give you the right to harrass them. Fact.
Pursuing a woman isn't harassment, or if it is, you're doing it wrong. Don't be a bitch
Unwanted sexual or romantic attention is harrassment. This poor woman is not in a space where she is searching for partners. She is trying to train. leave her the fuck alone
Bahdee. Asking a woman out is how it should go. If you don't have the balls, she don't suck your balls. You don't know if it's unwanted until you try. Really though, it's just about not being weird about it. Ask and let it go. Be able to take a no. Boom, done.
Asking a woman if she is interested isn’t harassment. How the fuck else are you supposed to know if she is interested? You have to take chances in life and if he doesn’t ever ask her then he will never know. Only children think like that. And if she says no then you drop it because THAT is respectful. Pursuing someone after they’ve turned you down is harassment. Fact.
It literally costs money for a gym.
It costs money for a girl. Downvote me all you like, but I said what I said.
I'm just saying, said it's Priceless for a good gym. But you are not going to go to a good gym for free. It literally costs money. Currency. Dinero. Moolah.
Wonga?
Second the yolo. But this can't be like the only chick you've pursued in the last 6 weeks, as a rule of thumb.
[удалено]
Fuck that. Live loud. Pursue and let it roll off your back if it doesn't go your way. Women want someone who goes for what they want, don't spend ages doing analysis of how she looked at you. Fortune favors the bold
Hope dude looks good because that’s the difference between flirting and harassment. Lol
And don’t fabricate those signs in your mind. They need to be real. I used to wait until someone else noticed and would say something like “dang she’s into you” or something like that.
Think about your coach!
I'm yet to see this story end well
Then you haven't seen it happen at all. Out of like 10 gym relationships I've seen I can only think of 1 that has failed. Go look up how almost any professional fighter met their other, I can almost guarantee it was in a gym. You can talk to people and get a group to go get lunch or dinner after open mat and get to know the person, idk why you're all thinking so one dimensionally.
The only way to do this right is develop a relationship outside your school. Maybe a group goes and gets food/beers after training and you strike up a conversation there.
Don't do it. There are other women.
Start with something simple. If you’re already training with her ask her to go get food after your work out. Baby steps.
Be her friend first and just talk to her as a friend for a while.
Try a group setting first. If you have friends in common from the gym try to get something together but don’t only invite her to join your friends. Invite her and a few of her friends. Hopefully you have some mutual ones. Also, I read a lot of comments about letting her approach you first. That’s probably not going to happen in the gym. 1. If she doesn’t like you that way she won’t. 2. If she does like you that way she still probably won’t because she is about to or has just rolled and looks less than her best. Shoot your shot but just do it outside of the gym in a place she is comfortable. Don’t make you first a marriage proposal. Say something like “Hey, you seem really nice, want to grab a coffee or something sometime?” Don’t put a lot of pressure on her to go out with you or to reject you. Respect her decision. If she says no don’t be creepy about it or stalker like. If she says yes don’t go overboard.
Find something in common besides jiu jitsu, maybe reach out on social media outside the gym and talk about it. If your conversation flows well, ask if she’d like to do said activity (or even just coffee or lunch) sometime. If she says yes, move forward If she says no, or dances around without directly saying no like I’m not sure when I’m free or etc just move on she ain’t into you
Take it easy, you may simply like the idea of her. A girl who’s attractive and interested In the sport you’re interested in. Make friends and get to know her platonically, you’ll know to go for it or not when you do this. And if you don’t go for it, you gain a friend. I do agree with some of the advice I’ve seen here. The gym is sanctity for both of you. Also, I believe in going after A woman if you truly want her. Make friends and get to know her
Do you and learn from it lol…. Whether its the outcome you want or not.
Do t dip your pen in the company ink Don’t fish off your own peer
I feel like you just made those up. I agree with your view on the situation, but the idioms are getting me twisted, man. Like, what if I’m at work—shouldn’t I be using company ink? And why have your own pier if not to use it? That’s all I’m saying.
Let her actually message you or make a move
Have common sense and separate this from Jiujutsu. Let’s not make this weird
Ya know I'm sorry for changing the conversation but I've had a question about jiu jitsu for awhile now and it kinda related: Alright I'm starting my first bjj class Wednesday, and I've always wondered what am I to do if I have to roll with a really hot girl (or guy I'm bisexual). I mean I already have a gf that I love and wouldn't trade for ANYBODY, So I'm not looking to have sex with anybody but I don't wanna accidentally pop a fat boner in the middle of a roll!!!! Dumb question but has this happened to anybody before? I'm 20 so ya know sometimes they just random:)
Well…after getting a bit closer to her in a friend/training partner way only I think she’s “with” the coach…I could be wrong but it’s just the vibe I get
Pretty sure she’s banging the coach
Suggest you help her work guard
Get in there! Wobble baby wobble baby
Then another guy likes her,,,, awkward . Find a new girl, bring her to the class .
Don't do it
Don't, there's plenty of other options put there.
I’ve done similar but in the workplace. It can get really bad, but also the opposite. Just be respectful and have good intentions, if you don’t it’s a disaster and welcome to reality. Just don’t be a creepy douchebag be real. There’s a lot of dudes in the gym who wouldn’t mind breaking a creepers arm.
Shit man say your feelings be polite and nice about it, if she rejects pretend like you were trying to get her back
Don’t date co workers
Nope
Follow your gut feeling
I really, really regret my gym romance, she’s now dating our former coach.
Yikes. But you took your shot. You didn't know she belonged to the Gym Streets
She belongs to the mats
Is the energy reciprocated to you alone (not her energy with everyone) and is she single? If you can’t say decisively yes, then don’t.
First question, does she seem interested like that? Do y’all talk much before or after class?
If the feeling isn’t mutual it’s gonna make choosing rolling partners each class real awkward
its gonna be obvious if she likes you, if its not completely obvious to ask her out then do not. its usually best to not shit where you eat.
Ive learned this the hard way, my one sinple advise: Dont shit where you eat. when we ended our relationship, she would cry in front of coach and ends up coach killing me during rolls everytime
DAMNNNNNN. That sounds crazy unhealthy and codependant
Don’t do it, coming from a guy that did
[удалено]
Everyone knows you can’t date her until you’re a black belt and she’s your student. Focus on that first.
Funny, my current coach is dating his former student. Lol
I suggest you shoot your shot. The Expected Value of trying to connect to people is extraordinarily high, regardless of the probability of success or the possible results of failure (which, if you are reasonable and mature, you can do a lot towards making those outcomes not so bad). Because the value of the wins is so high.
This. Find the ones you connect with, because the ones you don't...they don't really matter to you in the long run.
Ask her out. Worst case, she says no. You move on with your life. If she says yes, then have fun!
Have a conversation with her
Not even pigs shit where they eat brother. Don't do it.
Don't.
Although I enjoy the analogy; "don't shit where you eat" I do believe that the phrase "do not mix business with pleasure" is a much more fitting way to speak on ones sexual experience or lack thereof...
Like the other comments that aren’t anywhere near close enough to the top… if there isn’t signs the feelings are reciprocated then don’t fuck up both of your gym lives by making a move
Be yourself
When she least suspects it, fly kick her to the back of the head. Her response should tell you all you need to know.
🙅🏾♂️
Don’t mix business and personal.
Absolutely nothing
What are you there for? Are you there to train or are you there to chase tail?
This reminds me of Eminem’s “Stan”. Dear OP, I hope you’re doing just fine. I hope these comments reach you in time.
Ask her if she wants to get coffee sometimes. If she says no, she isn’t interested in you. Then nothing is awkward, but you found out the truth.
Secure that second job before you quit the first one…
Leave her alone 😆 I’ve seen this situation crash and burn with either party leaving the gym because of it not working out.
super risky. even if y’all do date for 2 years, if you guys break-up then the gym is suddenly super uncomfortable. you’d have to change gyms and i’m sure rolling would remind you of them considering that was the main bonding activity
No Go! She’ll make it happen if she is interested.
Do something fun and interesting and invite her to hang out. Just as friends, be cool, both when asking and when hanging out. Truly try to get to know her as a friend first. Even safer if you invite her to something that other friends will be at, especially girls.
DONT DO IT
Enjoy her from a far. Stick to your workouts.
Its a bad look to ask someone out at a regular gym. You know, the kind where people aren’t constantly grabbing each other’s bodies, hugging each other, and rolling around on the floor? I’d just let it go. At most just put out a friend vibe and if something platonic evolves out side of the gym then you take it out side of the gym.
dont shit where you roll, lest you end up covered in poop
Enjoy her as a training partner and a friend. If she makes a move then go for it, otherwise don’t mess up what you got by making it weird.
Make her tap out.
Good fucking luck my guy. I wouldn’t go for it speaking from past experience, never goes well. I wish it never happened I’d much rather us be friends without the awkwardness. I miss it being normal. Tension even after 3 years is rough.
Get to know her outside of the gym first. You don't REALLY know if this is someone you want to date. If things click then tell her you feel something and would like to explore but if she doesn't feel the same then just let it go and don't make it awkward for her. I found training after a year dudes will hit on you with no idea who you are and attach who you are just because you are cute and train BJJ. Every man within the vicinity will try to shoot their shot which can be disheartening since it feels like they don't take you seriously as a training partner.
Y’all are nuts 🤣 Just ask her out. How can we as Jiu jitsu people be comfortable in the uncomfortable but not socialize at the gym? The problem I see is that you’re making a big deal about it. She’s going to respond based on how you present it. It’s not a big deal, honestly, be casual about it and just ask if she’d like to go out sometime.
Aw, man, don't. I am a girl. Jujitsu is an all contact discipline. I have to feel comfortable with wrapping my legs around a training partner or having him pin him. When one guy (nice and all) tried to ask me out, that truly fucked up my comfort levels and ruined that gym for me.
Show it to her
Don’t do it bc it can be awkward if she says no. But if you do, maybe do a social gathering/bar and invite multiple people at the gym to go. If she’s interested, she may go and maybe it’s your chance to talk to her outside of the gym.
Find a new gym or marry her. These are your only options.
I wouldn’t advise it tbh. But try being friends first and see how that goes
Ya know I'm sorry for changing the conversation but I've had a question about jiu jitsu for awhile now and it kinda related: Alright I'm starting my first bjj class Wednesday, and I've always wondered what am I to do if I have to roll with a really hot girl (or guy I'm bisexual). I mean I already have a gf that I love and wouldn't trade for ANYBODY, So I'm not looking to have sex with anybody but I don't wanna accidentally pop a fat boner in the middle of a roll!!!! Dumb question but has this happened to anybody before? I'm 20 so ya know sometimes they just random:)
Protect yourself at all times cause she won’t take it easy on you because you caught feelings. Jiujitsu is not romantic!
Protect yourself at all times cause she won’t take it easy on you because you caught feelings. Jiujitsu is not romantic!
Ohhh I don’t know man. Depends on how much you like the gym-style of training. Can you switch if the relationship tanks? Ignore the people who are telling you to be careful if she says no…this is part of the chase, the reason why men persist: we can handle rejection and keep on going.
Asking her out will be creepy and you'll end up leaving the gym. Might even involve a restraining order. Don't be a creep.
Dont.
After the class suggest to go for a coffee or something to eat as a group, and after some times going out youll know if shes interested or not
Don’t fuck the girls you train with.
Tell her about a girl you "met the other day and are seeing this Friday", see if she gets jealous.
Leave her alone. If she liked you, she would indicate that.
Move on
As a woman at a jiu jitsu gym, leave her alone. We’re not there for you to ask out.
Start off slow by trying to do little things like stare at her while she’s stretching. Then every so often when you guys are close together try to get a good smell of her hair. (Ladies love it when they catch you sniffing them)
Be her friend first, see if she wants to spend time with you outside of bjj and then see where it goes.
Don’t
You are gonna fuck up the gym vibe! Don’t do it!
Ask her when you are applying a RNC. Whisper it in her ear. She wont be able to resist. In all seriousness, dont do it. Dont make it awkward for either of you
You’re going to meet people doing the things you like. If you think you’re a chance go for it. If you have to change gyms after so be it. You’re not trying to do anything wrong by her
Take one for the team. Do it, ask her and let us know the results on reddit. We are curious.
Don't do it, I did it and didn't want to train anymore because I knew if I went I'd only wanna be with her, plus she ended up breaking me and now I can't train at that gym in fear of seeing her
Just don’t be weird about it have some confidence but this is how I met my wife she was a blue belt when I started and we just kinda clicked instantly we rolled consistently did open mats together talked a lot as friends first found out we have a ton in common and then one day after about 3-4 months of friendship I shot her a message we started dating And I found my twin flame we got married after a year and been happy every since jiujitsu is a beautiful art and the gym is our happy place where the world just doesn’t matter for awhile that being said it can also bring happiness in the form of another person just be respectful and ask outside of class after you get to know her
Don’t. The chances of it working out forever are very slim and the chances that it ends with at least one of you feeling weird about going to that gym are high. Go find a girlfriend elsewhere. Besides, keep Jiu Jitsu as a place of solace when life is kicking you in the nuts. If you date a training partner you could easily lose that.
You said it. Dont be that creepy guy
Have you had a conversation with this girl yet? What is the level of interaction and what is the basis for attraction? You can be sly about things without torpedoing anything. I have hair past my shoulders and a girl at my gym offered to braid it for me once. It was kind of a strange offer and she always arrives with the same guy though, but they looked alike and I thought it was maybe her brother. So I just asked what her brother's name was. She laughed and said it was her husband, so that solved that real quick. Could be as simple as asking if she goes and watches UFC with her boyfriend. If she says she's single, say if you'd ever like to go I'd be down, and just leave it at that. That way you've expressed interest in a very chill way and it leaves the ball in her court of she's interested. If she's not, then no embarrassment. I think if she's a girl doing Jiu Jitsu, she probably has a fair bit of self confidence and isn't going to get rattled easily. A low key check for interest is probably okay.
At my gym the idea is keep romance off the mats, obviously there’s no controlling what you two do outside of the gym…HOWEVER, if something does start and one party (either you or her) stops training at the gym because things went south, the one still around has to pay the leaving party’s membership for the rest of the year. So probably best to just bury that deep deep down, and never bring it up again