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possumlvr2000

Honestly that’s my best guess of what this was, except the difference in the policeman’s presentation between initially getting to me and then returning with the “property” suggested he had never seen the sad deflated delivery that sparked this call. So that means the person kept it inside, which I would personally not do if I thought it was a, y’know, bomb. It reminds me of the pie bomb episode of Spongebob.


Bl0wMeAway

It's much more likely they saw some crime show and overreacted. Putting stuff in front of doors is sometimes done by home invaders to check if people are home. If it's still there the next day, people are likely gone. So some dude puts a cheap bag of takeout in front of your neighbours door at 1 am, your neighbour finds that odd but remembers that show from a couple days ago and freaks. Or they're a karen, could be that too.


waltjrimmer

See, what I think about when I think of inexplicable deliveries is a crime show my mom was watching about a gang or cartel or something that used random people's houses who weren't normally home in the middle of the day for package deliveries of illegal items. Someone would steal the package off the porch a short time after it gets delivered, the owners are none the wiser. The police were investigating I think narcotics in the area or something, traced the packages to a guy's house, scoped it out, saw that people were stealing the packages with the drugs, decided to raid the house anyway, killed the guy's dogs, tied up his family, tackled him when he got home, and he was the ~~deputy~~ mayor. The fucking ~~deputy~~ mayor. They had seen people stealing the packages off the porch and never even put in the time to check whose fucking house it was or confront the guy directly. Instead, they shot his dogs and bound his family. Based on the true crime shows I've seen, if mysterious packages start showing up at my house, no way in hell I'm calling the cops about it. Post note: No, I don't remember details of the show. I remember watching it with my mom (she was into a lot of true crime stuff) and I may have gotten some details wrong because I saw this many years ago. If anyone else knows the story and can link to it or find further details, I would greatly appreciate any corrections or expansions. Edit: May or may not be the same story. If it's the right story, I got some details wrong, but the timeline fits: https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/maryland-mayors-home-raided-dogs-killed-apparent-victim-of-drug-scheme/


Asiatic_Static

Anecdotal, but this sort of thing happened to my grandparents, they live just outside of El Paso, and they had a giant cardboard box full of weed dropped at their door. Opened it, called their BORTAC agent neighbor, was a whole thing for a few months. House under surveillance and all that shit.


FunkyBotanist

This sounds like a movie plot, except with the homeowner not calling the cops and trying to sell the weed.


goldberg1303

I have purchased some questionable substances off of the dark web in the past. When doing my research on it and the best "opsec" practices, having your packages shipped to a different address where you know you can intercept the package is a highly suggested practice. Be it a neighbor who isn't home during the day, or an empty/abandoned house, or whatever. Bonus points if it's not a close neighbor, or even in a different town.  In other words, for even minor "criminals" shipping something illegal, this is a pretty common and well known practice. 


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zealot416

I used to do that but I'm banned from every pizza place in town now. Turns out you can only Stand Your Ground so many times before they stop delivering to your address. Something about running out of delivery boys, idk, nobody wants to work anymore!


MjrLeeStoned

What is this country coming to?


ON3D

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


land8844

I never grow tired of this


False_Local4593

This isn't the first time reading this?


land8844

[It's an old copypasta](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/own-a-musket-for-home-defense)


Significant-Trash632

Yeah, this is the first I'm seeing it too! 😂


happilyunstable

Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill!


YouHadMeAtAloe

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


TheRollingPeepstones

Tally-ho, my lads!


Mr_Mars

>Putting stuff in front of doors is sometimes done by home invaders to check if people are home. Is it? Or do people just share this "crime prevention tip" on Facebook ad nauseum? It really seems to me like there are easier ways to find out if someone is home if that's your goal. Like, yknow, knock on the door.


PrettyPinkPonyPrince

>Like, yknow, knock on the door. The problem with knocking on the door is that you have to be the one knocking on the door and [that doesn't always work out so well.](https://theweek.com/feature/1022760/ralph-yarl-shooting)


StoneyQuartz

It had their neighbors address and name on it, they knew where to send the cops. 10000% a neighbor hating Karen 😬😂 she should get a ticket for "wasting finite resources" 🤣


_________________420

Or just old people who can't / don't understand. "Why would someone leave 7-11 on our door at 1am" "Idk Martha maybe some homeless guy was sleeping out there, or drunk person needed a rest" "Oh well I'm going to call the police we don't want that on our lawn / house"


Cacafuego

In my imagination, the only reason the cop insisted on retrieving your property was so that he had an excuse to go back and politely point out how dumb your neighbor was being.


Foreign_Point_1410

And to not bother them again with this shit


ZacZupAttack

I work with old people. In order for us to call you, you have to give us your personal information (name, address, date of birth) sometimes old people get confused and in order to gain their trust we confirm their information they gave us. I had an older lady, told what her address and date of birth was. She asked me how I knew that. I said you gave it to us, she said she put it on a website she didn't give it to me, and she hung up on me. That website she gave her information too...was my companies website....


ViolinistMean199

“Oh this could be a bomb” I’ll bring it inside just in case


Mr_Mars

If a random bag appears on your doorstep and your first thought is that it must be a bomb, perhaps you should change your habits such that you no longer need to be worried that people want to bomb you.


tkdch4mp

Idk, I just figured it was elderly irrational paranoia rather than anybody who has habits that need to change


iowanaquarist

We got posts on next door about people cruising through neighborhoods spot lighting houses at night. Turns out it was a couple of door dashers looking for addresses on houses.


Fair-Yesterday-5143

A reminder to people that in an emergency, responders won’t be able to find their house. Apparently none of their houses had address numbers displayed.


iowanaquarist

The fire department used to have a yearly fundraiser, where they would spray paint your house number on your curb, too. It's not hard to display your house numbers, people!


OkSyllabub3674

They did similar where I used to live except it was for signs to put on your mailbox post that were the same reflective design as street signs but your house number since we were a rural area without curbs.


ThrowAway233223

And those fancy, cursive displays that spell out the number may look nice, but you should have at least one arabic numeral display somewhere in plain view. Those cursive, spelled out numbers are both harder to spot and take longer to read from the road (if they are legible at all from there).


Historical_Gur_3054

If you say to use arabic numerals I'm sure that will get some people riled up


849

Excuse me we ain't putting no ARAB numbers numbers on our house


Ok-Illustrator-5273

Yeah Nextdoor in my area is full of stupid stuff like that. "Oh goodness, somebody rang my doorbell! Here's camera footage, do you know what this freaky guy in a polo and slacks is up to???"


Turing_Testes

Nextdoor is the ultimate stupid Boomer den.


adventurepony

I have a working theory that Nextdoor was created by KenM just so he could harvest new content.


flibbertygibbet100

hah I'm on the tail end of the Boomer generation and I firmly believe Nextdoor was invented by the devil. So stupid. But then I hate facebook too.


land8844

>"wAs ThAt a gUnSHoT??!11!?"


iowanaquarist

I make it a point to ask them what the person said when they answered the door and asked them ..


Nidos

My favorites are the almost daily posts of "Did anyone else hear gunshots??" when we live in a town that probably hasn't seen or heard a gunshot since the Reagan administration. 99% of the time it's just a loud car with a burble tune, the other 1% of the time it's on a holiday where they shoot off fireworks. Surprisingly, even on 4th of July people report things that they swear wasn't a firework lol


hollyofthelake

When my kids were in school, we were friendly with another family who had kids in the same grades as ours, and our youngest daughters were friends with each other. The dad was temporarily out of work, so I bagged up some food and toilet paper and took it over to their house. Nobody was home, but the weather was below freezing, so I just left it on the driveway (they entered the house through the garage.) Nobody picked it up, so eventually I took it to the front door after someone came home. According to their youngest daughter, they thought someone was trying to poison them. It's sad to me that someone trying to help them through a financially rough time didn't occur to them, but someone trying to poison them did?


LuxNocte

People are incredibly distrusting these days. The news tries to scare us that there are predators waiting behind every bush.


OMG__Ponies

Fear sells. It's right above war, sex, religion and gossip.


mikedvb

I don't know that I'd trust a random bag of food that showed up unexpected and un-asked for without any sort of note or information. If I were to do this, personally, I would probably put a note with it like "From you neighbor at \[number\] to help out. -Name & Number".


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Mickeymcirishman

Area I lived in had an old woman (60's) call the police several times a week about someone peeping in on her. Always around the same time. The cops would show up, question peopke in the building about it, then tell her if he comes again to give them a call. Eventually they set up a sting (they had one guy in a car sitting on the street) to catch this guy. Turns out it was a stray cat that she fed during the day. It was coming around at night for more food.


Wild-Cut-6012

An actual peeping tom.


Historical_Gur_3054

I worked for the city for a bit and we'd get the cops called on us sometimes. 2 guys, in uniform, in a truck with the city name and seal on it, government license plate. Outside in broad daylight on a city street. We were popping manhole covers looking for infiltration into the sewer system. This was pre- 9/11 too, and neither of us are PoC


HairyPotatoKat

This reminds me .. I lived in a rapidly expanding Boston suburb a handful of years ago. It used to be smallish and rural. But in the last decade or so has erupted faster than it can keep up with. (Part of why we moved out). So it's a mix of "townies" that have been there for generations, and younger, fairly affluent, tech and med industry people and their families. The demographic has shifted much younger and more diverse pretty abruptly, which has people who've lived there a long time clinging to the ceiling. The town has a local paper that runs every couple weeks or so- the kind that publishes all of the police reports. Mind you, this town has been listed as the/one of the sAfEsT towns in the US and a solid chunk of the reports are loose dogs or aggressive turkeys. When we lived there, there was a surge in another category of police reports- "suspicious" people, plus or minus a backpack, with more/less melanin, who were *gasp* "walking suspiciously" while stopping to look at their phone. (Edit to add: the reported people were always along public sidewalks, too. Never anyone trespassing or anything.) Tldr ; New England town collectively lost its paranoid shit over people playing Pokemon Go. 🙄 Edit: I'm just seeing that the paper has an online presence now. This is from this past December: *A caller reported a male with green hair and dark clothes walking around and looking suspicious on Main Street. Officer [name] responded and found the individual playing Pokémon Go in the area.* GREEN HAIR 🤯


missklo99

"Has people clinging to the ceiling"- I love this and I'm definitely gonna use it(I'm in the south) Also..how does one "walk suspiciously"? With a limp? Using crutches? I'm laughing thinking of all the possibilities..😆😆


FckMitch

Walking suspiciously = walking while colored


TransBrandi

More like "their existence makes me scared." Though a good deal of that time that's due to the colour of their skin, it isn't always. "They're going suspiciously" just means that they are afraid of them and scrutinizing everything that they do becuase they don't want them there.


ralphy_256

> Also..how does one "walk suspiciously"? With the incorrect amount of melanin.


samclops

I've actually had boomers scream and call the police over me playing Pokemon go In my neighborhood in which I've lived for years and the neighbors SHOULD recognize as I'm like one of 3 brown people on the block. I remember specifically cops walking up to me and asking what I was doing. They did not appreciate the response of "catching a chikorita"


HairyPotatoKat

Good God, you should be able to play Pokemon Go in peace. Pardon. You should be able to *exist* in peace. You ok now? Have the neighbors and cops eased off of you?


samclops

Yeah they have. Looking back now. It's HILARIOUS. they legit thought "catching a chikorita" was some sort of slang or code. Because when I responded with that the first question was "how much are you getting?" I had to show them my phone. They laughed at the prospect of a 30 something year old playing Pokemon, but idgaf. I guarantee my comic book collection is worth more than their retirement savings


HairyPotatoKat

>"How much are you getting?" They jumped straight to "kidnapping women to pimp out"?! (Or something equally ridiculous) 💀 Glad you're alright! Hope you're still having fun with it- and your avatar survived the update 😂


kwisatzhadnuff

There’s a weird inversion that happens where people from areas of low crime are often way more afraid because they are so sheltered. Some people really need to get out of their bubble and get some perspective.


Phinbart

That situation is a ticking time bomb. The elderly majority(?) there will likely decide to use the generational hatred of the young against them and call the police on them for innocent/innocuous things simply because they don't like them, and so the police don't bother following up on calls anymore and may ignore genuine calls from any age if it's about some activity associated with young people.


Outrageous_Effect_24

Yeah, someday I’m going to call there police, and nobody is going to show up to tell me the crime being committed is a civil matter and there’s nothing they can do


nynaeve_mondragoran

Oh geeze! We moved into a new house about a year ago that is the first house in the neighborhood and on a corner. Idk why but these damn door dash drivers keep trying to deliver food to us that belongs to other houses in the neighborhood. I'm like are you guys even trying! We usually can catch the drivers before they "dash" off, but once we had to bring the order down to a neighbor. The funny part is my husband absolutely refuses to use any type of food delivery service. We are in our 30s and he despises them. He would rather go pick up food himself than pay an upcharge and delivery fee.


Breadloafs

Every time a town you live in closes down a library or cuts school lunches to save money, just remember how much money is being spent on having cops entertain the paranoid fantasies of sundowning boomers.


Its-a-Light-Bat

The clear takeaway is that you need to request that body cam footage and post it immediately.


Inner-Cupcake-6809

I second that!!


Stinkydadman

3rd


exiledmomo

And my bow


TheWalrus101123

Not my axe. I need it later.


spicyhabaneroman

What cause is more worthy than aiding an ally? We must stand united on this front my brother/sister/non-binary hero!


stevedadog

I got confused like 3 comments up :/


Dan_flashes480

Alright keep your secrets.


msbelle13

FOIA time!!!!


ahuramazdobbs19

For real, some of us can’t afford cable.


Dream--Brother

And let's be honest, this would be better than anything on Netflix


aaatttppp

I'd submit that FOIA request if I knew the agency and details.


jackinthecracker

Is there a fee?


darkest_hour1428

Looks like it may be up to $25, but there are many chances to be given a fee waiver


splork-chop

The clear takeaway is don't open the door if the police ring your doorbell. I'm a privileged middle class white guy and twice I've had cops show up due to crazy neighbor complaints, and twice I felt that I was on the verge of being arrested because the cops had an attitude because I was trying to get them to leave. Sorry I'm in the middle of preparing dinner and have a fussy toddler. Several subsequent police knocks have been ignored. I doubt they will get a warrant because my barbecue smells were going into the neighbors yard.


Significant_Shoe_17

Your neighbors complained because you were *barbecuing?*


Designer-Mirror-7995

Yes. There are actual, multiple complaints on different subs and platforms about neighbors getting into it over 'smells' from BBQ to spices.


Significant_Shoe_17

That's just insane behavior


splork-chop

That's what it is. The guy was just nuts. We don't live there anymore so don't have to deal with it anymore. He also complained because our tree dropped seed pods in his front lawn.


Jukka_Sarasti

My next-door neighbor used to have two giant pine trees that bordered our yards. A few months after we moved in, he came over to apologize for all the pine needles the trees dropped onto our driveway and a small section of our yard and offered to sweep them up. I laughed and told him not to worry about it, as it was free mulch! After that, he started bringing me all the needles he raked up from his yard and I didn't have to buy mulch for several years. I was sad when they ended up having them removed. A few pine trees can drop a TON of needles..


missklo99

Your neighbor was Satan. Or a close descendant. Geez.


SnofIake

We just call them boomers now.


Jukka_Sarasti

One of my neighbors has had the cops called on him **multiple** times for BBQ-related things and random, innocuous, stuff. Always by the same neighbor, who doesn't even live next to, or across the street from, his family, but like half a block away.. It's absolutely nuts...


_TheNecromancer13

There's always one. In my old neighborhood it was a lady who's house shared a fence with the park. Her tendency to repeatedly call the cops on children playing in the park earned her the title of "The witch (or bitch for the older kids) of the park". She would walk around the neighborhood peeking over neighbor's fences and through their windows looking for things to call code enforcement on. She called code enforcement 6 times and the cops 2 times on me for reroofing my house (legally, and with all the proper permits), and each bogus complaint was always carefully worded for maximum suspicion and plausible deniability. She also called other times, even got me swatted once claiming I had run someone over with my truck, saying it was "splattered in blood" (it had some red lettering on the hood and bumper). Every other neighbor has similar stories, she assaulted one down the street, complained about the chickens of someone who was a few houses over, said chickens were subsequently poisoned, etc.


SnipesCC

I had the cops start harassing me when I wouldn't give them my name when they dropped off some paperwork from a neighbor's traffic accident. He insisted on taping it to my front door, despite me telling him my neighbor never went into that door. But that let him look into my living room through the windows.


BZLuck

That's all they are looking for. A way to "lawfully" enter your home unlawfully. Maybe they think they see a minor drinking? Thought they heard someone scream? Dog 'triggers' for drugs? Something suspicious on your coffee table? "We don't need a warrant anymore, we are coming in now!"


Designer-Mirror-7995

That's exactly where we're at, and they intend for it to get worse.


Responsible-Cake-810

When I was 19, still living with my parents and also when security cameras for homes weren’t a thing, I was texting this guy I had been talking to for a little while, saying how I wanted sushi. It was close to 9PM at night. A little later, someone rang the doorbell. My parents assumed it was a serial killer and/or robber with manners. I heard my dad shouting “WHO ARE YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT”. He wasn’t going to open the door obviously. I raced downstairs because I realized that the guy I was talking had ordered sushi for me. I thought he was just joking when he was asking me what rolls I like while we were talking. My dad opened the door, we all apologized profusely, and tipped him well. But oh my word, that poor guy had such a terrified look on his face. We don’t live in that house anymore, let alone state, but I imagine that address is like blacklisted or something for the restaurant lmao.


bek8228

That reminds me of when I was in high school and a boy from my class prank called my house. My mom answered with just a “hello” and the kid says in a creepy voice, “(my name), who is your daddy and what does he do?” My mom freaked out and started yelling at me about what kind of weirdo I gave our home phone number to. (This was before everyone had cell phones.) I was confused and had no idea what was happening or who had called. She handed me the phone and the kid was laughing and apologizing at the same time and told me what he had said to my mom. The line he said to my mom was from the movie Kindergarten Cop, but taken out of context it did sound pretty weird.


GloriousNewt

the "giving our number" part is wild because the white pages still existed, it wasn't hard to find somebody's number in a phone book.


sixpackabs592

and schools gave everyone a list of house numbers of all the other families at least my grade school did


majesticrhyhorn

While the public schools I went to never did that, the private school I went to for 3 years def handed out a booklet of everyone’s phone numbers, addresses, and family members every year! Crazy to think about that now lol


Mataelio

When I was a junior in high school I helped a kid in one of my classes with a project he had for another class. He was a senior and had a project that involved creating a kids book and he had seen me doodling in class one day and thought I was good, so he asked if I could do the illustrations for his project. I was flattered and helped him, and at the end of the year when his project was complete he asked for my address since he wanted to bring me a thank you gift. He came to my house one evening around maybe 9 PM and my dad answered the door in his underwear while making allusions to having a gun upstairs, before coming and getting me to ask why one of my friends was there at that hour. He had come to bring me cookies he had baked for me and a copy of his project which credited me as the illustrator. He apologized for coming so late and I never really saw him again after that because it was the end of the year and he had graduated. I keep meaning to try to find him on Facebook but I can’t even remember his name at this point and my mom can’t find the copy of the project that would have it on there. To his credit my dad felt really bad about essentially threatening with a gun the nice kid from my class that baked cookies for me.


Responsible-Cake-810

Hahaha, that’s really sweet, but that poor kid. If you ever find him, bring him some homemade cookies while in your underwear :) hahaha jk


Annual-Avocado-1322

What the hell did your parents go through that they react to the doorbell like a couple of terriers on smack?


Responsible-Cake-810

Just good ol’ fashioned paranoia lol.


cock_nballs

Murcian freedom baby


Chidaruma-

Seems like an insanely paranoid reaction to someone ringing the doorbell at night.


Inner-Cupcake-6809

Don’t lie, the crime was you ordered grape laffy taffy and you know it! Side note, that is ridiculous


possumlvr2000

It was actually grape but I defend that choice


Zelda_is_Dead

Imagine if you'd been awake, got the notification it was delivered and when you didn't see it on your porch, went next door to see if it was there. Those morons probably would have called the SWAT team on you


sashikku

I’m just glad the poor driver didn’t get shot


DiscussionExotic3759

This is why a lot of delivery companies won't tell you where your misdelivered items got dropped off.  People get SWAT or shot. Edited to correct typo.


Significant_Shoe_17

Seriously. I'd rather not get my drink.


mysticevol

Straight to jail.


ElderberryHumble5379

![gif](giphy|f8lDluiWJ7yQTtdS3L|downsized)


Ceecee_soup

Honestly unforgivable


sashikku

As you should. Grape is the superior taffy. I will stand with you in solidarity over this until the end of time.


possumlvr2000

🫂


Zelda_is_Dead

Grape and banana are the 2 best flavors


Z3MEK

What?! That's like saying cats and feces are the best flavors. Everyone knows only one of those are delicious.


[deleted]

Here's some pizza....here's some poop. ENJOY BOTH!


Zelda_is_Dead

You put cat on your pizza? 🤔


Eternally-Erect

Grape FTW 🫡


sherzeg

It could have been watermelon Laffy Taffy. Now that's a paddlin'.


Super_iron_kid

Damn that's some real detective work for an important case of the Slurpee. I wish they did expand that on the rest of non-priority crimes.


possumlvr2000

I know!!! Like what could you be doing if you were not exhausting taxpayer money on getting me a slurpee that I have now repeatedly said I did not want!


ruiner8850

I suppose you can look at it as a positive that you live in an area that has so little crime that police can spend time on stuff like this.


hannah_pajama

I live in one of the highest crime cities in the USA and the cops here love spending their time on shit like this so they don’t have to be stopping robberies or investigating murder or anything else that might put them at risk


os_kaiserwilhelm

Your uniformed officer isn't investigating homicide. They might show up and ask questions until it gets passed off. I guess they could have more homicide detectives. Police should be dealing with petty offenses as well as serious offenses, though.


hannah_pajama

They sent a detective to my house cuz my car got stuck in the snow and I left it off the side of a dirt road for two days while the snow cleared up. Meanwhile my mom was kidnapped and tortured by her ex boyfriend and they didn’t show up to the Walgreens she made it to after she escaped for 12 hours, by which point they went to the hospital. Then they called her and berated her for not being there anymore


os_kaiserwilhelm

That's a shitty PD. Investigating an abandoned car is good police work. Everything else is yikes..


Leverkaas2516

That's what I was thinking. The police where I live didn't invest near as much effort as this when I had an actual break-in with thousands of dollars worth of stuff taken from my house. I showed the dirty footprints in the bedroom and he said "yeah, those are footprints all right." He kindly suggested that I visit the local pawn shops to look for my stuff, and consider getting a dog, then he left. That was it.


BZLuck

Yeahbut, lord knows what they actually said when they called the cops. My BILs old landlord (old sour bitty) didn't like something he said to her once, so she called the cops and said that he had tackled and beaten her. They most certainly wouldn't have shown up if they said, "Someone's food is on my porch." Probably more like, "THERE IS A MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE ON MY PORCH! I THINK IT IS TICKING! GET OVER HERE NOW! I'M SCURRED!"


SolusLoqui

Good news is now you have a police report to prove it was misdelivered and can get a refund.


AQualityKoalaTeacher

I read this in Sheriff Mike's voice. ![gif](giphy|e3XdvXAvOosj7J63h8|downsized)


RaazerChickenWire

Quite possibly the best show on TV right now. I laugh my ass off at every episode. Sheriff Mike is #2 behind Harry in terms of best characters.


Complete_Elephant240

Lmao, yep. I had my car window smashed in and some change stolen, along with an entire street worth of cars. I called the cops and they basically told me to kick rocks and there's nothing to do about it. Didn't even bother checking any cameras or anything...


Citizen44712A

Should have told them about the suspicious taffy that was left behind


CptGlammerHammer

Twist: the neighbor is diabetic and saw it as an attempted assassination.


possumlvr2000

This is actually the most cogent explanation I’ve thought of or heard of so far! Maybe instead of being completely random and unintended they found it the oppoosite.


ThexxxDegenerate

Also the explanation for why the police even showed up is bored as hell cops. You say it’s a quiet neighborhood so I assume it’s a quiet town where not much goes on. So even though the call was ridiculous, these cops were probably so bored they actually investigated it. I’ve been in towns like that where the cops have absolutely nothing to do so like 3 or 4 cruisers show up to a traffic stop for a broken taillight in the middle of the day. Had this happened in a busy city, I doubt the cops even show up.


monkey_monkey_monkey

The real crime is paying to have $7 of candy delivered.... On another note, your neighbours seem awfully odd. The idea of calling the cops because someone delivered me free laffy taffy would never occur to me.


possumlvr2000

You’re entirely right on both fronts. I am just like wracking my brain thinking about what might be seen as threatening about this.


jta156

Maybe the delivery driver knocked really hard on their door at 1 am, which woke them up and scared them? Only thing I can think of


iowanaquarist

Or they saw someone taking photos of their front door at 1am and then driving off


QuietRainyDay

Exactly this lol If they were awake, imagine seeing a stranger car pull up at 1AM. A guy walks up to your door, bangs on it, steps away, takes a picture, then drives off If these are older people that dont understand DoorDash, of course theyd be freaked out People that arent up to date on modern food delivery probably wouldnt even fathom that their neighbor ordered a slurpee from a 7-11


[deleted]

>People that arent up to date on modern food delivery probably wouldnt even fathom that their neighbor ordered a slurpee from a 7-11 I am up to date on such matters, but ordering a Slurpee from 7-Eleven still seems completely psychotic.


possumlvr2000

God I hope not. I have a delivery note saying how to find the house and to please just leave and not knock. If they did pound on the door I would understand the upset but not the police.


Matchetes

That’s pretty clearly what happened. A stranger was in your neighbor’s yard at 1am and scared the shit out of them


ChaosEsper

I mean, they had directions to your house and didn't go there, so I dunno why they'd follow the directions not to bang on the door lmao


athaliah

I bet they thought someone was trying to break into their house in the middle of the night, so they called the cops who paid you a visit because there was a bag on the porch with your name on it, so clearly you were the perpetrator. Case closed.


Smiley007

Eh, someone randomly pounding on the door (when you’re not expecting delivery) at 1:00am would be reasonable enough to call the police imo, that’s freaky


Maxamillion-X72

Obviously it was drugs disguised to look like candy. "Laffy Taffy"?! That's gotta be full of the devil's lettuce!


possumlvr2000

Clearly! Somehow they have been laced with razor blades without the packages being opened.


tacotacotacorock

Maybe your neighbors saw the recent thing on the news about the guy who shot the Uber driver. Some old dude was getting scammed and the scammer apparently sent the Uber driver to pick up a package or at least that's what the article said. Old dude thought that Uber driver was the scammer and shot her. Maybe your crackhead neighbors saw that and thought the same was happening to them? That's the most logical thing I can think of but it's still pretty far out there.  My guess is the neighbor has schizophrenia and or does drugs. Those two seem more plausible maybe combined with my other theory.


Beneficial_Body_1000

My guess would be the neighbors didn't even see the candy and probably didn't open the door at all until the police arrived. They just saw some random person on their porch, maybe with a flash light or taking photos at 1am, and got spooked and called the cops. They likely only realized the mistake once the police showed up and the wrong delivery was found.


SpecularBlinky

No no thats too reasonable, they must be crackheads like reddit said.


Honestly_I_Am_Lying

Meth is a helluva drug, and will absolutely make people paranoid enough to call the cops over an unexpected delivery to their door


MinimumArt9855

Meth will make you call the police on yourself for seeing ghost people lmao.


Head-Jump-167

I definitely would not have called the cops, but I did used to have a neighbor who would order food very late at night. One night I went downstairs to get a drink only to see a strange man staring through the window next to my front door and when my dogs saw him they went bonkers and barked like crazy. When the man pointed to a bag he was holding it became clear to me that it was a delivery intended for my neighbor and I told the guy through the window that he was at the wrong house. But it was super startling to have that happen in the middle of the night and I didn’t fall asleep again for a while due to the adrenaline. So maybe your neighbors didn’t understand that it was a delivery until after they called the cops, and just thought it was some strange person showing up in the middle of the night? If they are older they may not even realize it is possible to get a delivery that late. It’s still mildly infuriating, but I can see how they might have perceived it as threatening if they didn’t understand that it was a misdirected delivery.


poppunker18

how old are your neighbors? maybe they don’t understand this new wave of technology and deliveries. if an 85 year old had random food delivered at close to midnight I could understand them being spooked.


Willothwisp2303

I'm super impressed. The cops couldn't care less about my identity being stolen and a bank account being opened in my name- literally down the street from them. They wouldn't come out to me and couldn't give a shit when I came in to make a police report.   This old bag is getting them to come out for CANDY?!


Quiet-Honey4347

I've lived in high median income areas and low median income areas. The police response to various things has seemed to be radically different between the two.


Brittany5150

I would just throw it away and get on with my life, unless there was an address on the bag then I would just walk it over. Hold my hand out for a tip maybe.... lol


TheShadyPlantLady

To be fair, I think you would be more deserving of the tip in that case for actually getting the order delivered to the correct address.


cheshire_splat

One time I noticed a man in my yard, squatting between my picnic table and shed. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, from my window it looked like he was popping a squat, if you know what I mean 💩. But upon further inspection, his grey sweatpants were still on and pulled up (he was also wearing one sock and two different slip-on sandals). As I watched him, a cop car drove by (I live in a neighborhood where cops do regular patrols for our “safety”). The guy ducked down, hiding from the cop car. He continued to stay ducked down but peeking his head up and watching. It was super sus, so I did what I rarely do and called the local sheriffs department (non-emergency number). By the time they got there, the guy was gone, but managed to leave behind his lone sock. Anywhoozles, I found out later from my partner that the guy was a neighbor’s son, he was high on psychedelics and thought the cars were dragons.


ImportantMarsupial18

😅😅😅😅


theedahlianoir

I would love to know where this is that the cops even have the time to care about this. When I lived in AZ, my friend called the police because she heard a gunshot in the apartment below her. Dispatch asked her to go check if the resident was alive or dead because if they were dead the call could wait a while.


possumlvr2000

I’m in NJ. I have literally called the cops about such things as a seriously disoriented person wandering in traffic and an actual fire and gotten less response. However the cops near me seem fickle, and the this is the second time I have had cops respond to feeble or truly false charges against me (the other one being my friend’s parents accusing me of gay witchcraft after my 20 year old friend opted to move in with me).


SquirrelyByNature

> the other one being my friend’s parents accusing me of gay witchcraft after my 20 year old friend opted to move in with me Imagine being such an ass hat that you can't smell your own shit and realize your own child might be making choices to avoid you of their own volition.


Sunny_Sammie_517

I mean letting a Slurpee melt without drinking it, is in itself a crime. Boy are you lucky.


YourTrellisIsAWhore

I'll admit that if doordash or something rang my doorbell unexpectedly at 1:30 AM, I'd be kind of freaked out, but I've also been stalked before and this totally seems like a potential stalker move. However, the first thing I would do is check the name and address on the bag, and would realize the mistake. Also calling the police would not have occurred to me, perhaps in part because even in my stalking case, they were absolutely no help.


Chiron17

I'm almost certain the neighbours didn't see the bag. They got woken in the middle of the night by someone banging on their door and they called the cops. Cops showed up the next morning and saw the bag and went next door to give it to OP. Everyone here seems to think that everyone should know about Ubereats and how to react when some random comes knocking on your door or creeping on your porch at midnight. How do you think your grandparents would react to that?


jamarax

Ya this. Surprised how none of the other comments mention this. I'm not opening the door at 1 in the morning, and if they were persistent I would call the cops as well. I have a family to protect and home invasions are a thing where I live.


ChiWhiteSox24

Nice to see the police hard at work out there. Also, those neighbors are beyond unhinged


TransmigrationOfPKD

Sounds like a My Cousin Vinny scenario


Brittany5150

https://i.redd.it/x6k0d8bmpuxc1.gif


TheWalrus101123

I love Joe Pesci


JectorDelan

People gonna people. Shortly after 9-11, working in emergency services was interesting. For quite some time, every damn week at least one person would call in because they got a letter or package with "A suspicious white powder on it that might be anthrax!" Yes, Betty from suburban USA, you are so important that some terrorists overseas sent you, personally, anthrax. Your death is the next linchpin in the downfall of America, sure thing.


MiaLba

It’s like those FB moms who make a whole ass post about how they and their “littles” were nearly trafficked at Target. When in reality some brown man just glanced in their direction a couple times.


linux_ape

ask your neighbor why they are so bitchmade


Zelda_is_Dead

I wouldn't even look in their direction after that, they're too unhinged and would probably call the cops again. No need for that drama if it can be avoided.


labrat420

I'd definitely say something like 'just going to my car, no need to get the cops involved' next time I see them outside


Jinxed0ne

Let them call the cops for some absolutely ridiculous shit a few more times. Cops will stop taking them seriously and you'll have free reign to do whatever want. /s (kind of)


lavellanlike

Dress up as a Slurpee and jump out the bushes at them


klimmesil

7 dollars for candy AND 20 minute wait


_DapperDanMan-

Dude. Ordering a door dash from 7/11. Are you nuts?


MikeMania

Ordering a frozen beverage on a delivery app is highly ambitious.


possumlvr2000

Probably


Ok_Cauliflower_3007

How high were you?


Geno_Warlord

Yes.


Unethical_Castrator

No, officer. It’s “Hi, how are you?”


jmanly3

We must have a prescription for the same medicine 😶‍🌫️


Agitated-Rabbit-5348

Actually, this makes the most sense to me lol. I was trying to figure out why someone who takes medication that makes them really hungry would remedy that was a bunch of candy and a slurpee. Especially before bed. But if that medication were a little green, it would all make sense 😆


Captain_Pikes_Peak

I went to rehab and after nightly meds it was snack city. One girl would fall asleep every night with food in her mouth. Since most of the people were on Seroquel, we called that time of night Quellville.


Cinnamon_Flavored

As shocked as I am that someone could see a bag delivered and jump right to calling the cops I’m more shocked that someone’s idea of a late night snack before bed is literally a pound of sugar. 


PunfullyObvious

Calling the police on this was well over the top, but I do understand the neighbors being a bit thrown off by a delivery they weren't expected waking them up at 1am. I'd be right pissed and confused ... but not enough so to call the police. That is, assuming they were woken up. If not, as the neighbor, finding it on my doorstep in the AM, it wouldn't rise beyond ... odd. I'd check the bag as you said, and then maybe I'd give your door a knock and have a wee bit of a laugh over it.


hawker_sharpie

on the bright side, no real crimes were happening in your area that day


Alternative-Link-823

> take meds that make me really hungry before bed You can just say you were stoned no one here is a cop 


Lamprophonia

...you called to have a fucking slurpee and candy delivered?


cobywaan

I feel a million years old with food delivery in general. Paying 2-3x to have actual food delivered blows my mind. But to order a slurpee and candy from 7-Eleven I truly cannot make sense of.


ErinGoBoo

I grasp the feeling on unease, but to call the cops? A normal person could figure it out pretty quickly, and if they're that paranoid they probably have a Ring. I had a delivery driver knock on my door at midnight once. I hadn't ordered food and wasn't expecting anyone. I admit, I felt uneasy at first because it was a touchy neighborhood and VERY strange to have someone knock that late. But I heard the bag as she ran back down the steps once she realized herself it was the wrong apartment.


poppaDaRossi

Did the driver knock or ring your neighbors door? Or just leave the order? Honestly wouldn’t be too damn happy if my doorbell got rung at 1 something in the morning. Wouldn’t call the police but I could see how someone might. Definitely would be pretty fucking pissed.


FunnyQuip_SillyName

When the cops delivered your “property” you should’ve asked them to shake that laffy taffy.


itsFromTheSimpsons

everybody knows it's a gang initiation to order a slushee and some laffy taffy to a random house on a quiet street