Everyone knows everyone
By - thravee
Everyone knows everyone
Can't go anywhere without running into at least 2 people I know anywhere from Maitland to Belmont via Newcastle
Sounds like Canberra
Outsider alert. Everyone shut them out.
Born and raised here, I’m asking the question more out of curiosity.
That’s EXACTLY what an outsider would say!
Not just any outsider, but that’s exactly what a Sydney “person” should would say
It suddenly became very Wickerman in here, I love it.
As someone who spent the entirety of my teen years in Lake macquarie (and a few years when I was much younger) went to tafe in newy, and started going out on the weekends in newy, lived in sydney for a long time and moved to newy a few years ago, I found it extremely cliquey and hard to make friends growing up, and have none from here that I had when I was younger.
I haven't found any here since moving back from Sydney, but I have acquaintances and some people that I know through work and going out to punk and hardcore shows. But no one I've really gelled with yet, im optomistic though. I have been distracted with other life things recently, so that probably doesn't help but it's also not keeping it too high on my list of priorities right now, but it will be in time.
Keep trying, going out for after work drinks (any type) might help if you're into that or trying to find people that are into similar things.
If you are a beachey person, joining a surf club might help in a few months when the cooler weather pisses off.
I go to shows on occasion and used to religiously if you ever need a show buddy, fling it through man.
I used to religiously too, but yeah definitely can't dedicate as much time to it these days and I can't handle a mosh like I used to haha.
Sounds good though, what do you like to listen to?
A bit of everything tbh, personal favourites are like American nightmare, suicide file, hope con, MLIW etc. Grew up with jungle fever, her nightmare, Carpathian, and Break even being the predominant bands though and locally I really liked NSC, Mark my words, the hollow and never saw the faux hawks but fucking love them etc.
I think you're a tad bit older than me, but there's a fair chance there's a bit of a crossover but I was too young for the lucky wild times but have fond memories of Blackbox gigs.
Well I enjoy most of them.
American nightmare, hope conspiracy, jungle fever are high up on the list for me.
Went to a show or two at blackbox, but most of my years going to shows was in sydney.
I'm 38 by the way.
Mark my words, there's a name.i haven't heard in a while. Saw them a few times, they were always good to see.
I saw the faux hawks once I think, at newy leagues club, memory's a bit foggy. But I mostly missed them, conation, arms reach, life love regret etc but I used to love going to see the dead walk and im hoping to this weekend but family commitments might cause me to miss out :(.
Ahh, I'm 31, mark my words were amazing used to go to heaps of shows at Wyong oasis so saw them heaps. (Ya fucking cunnnt!)
Reckon you will love suicide file tbh strong crossover with members from Hope con, very rock n roll hardcore it's fucking amazing.
Yeah, I was Gunna miss it tbh, but I just noticed every word are playing today and I used to froth on them pretty hard. I love dead walk and dropsaw but can't help but feel like they should let it go hahahahahah it's like the 10th reunion either have played in the last 13 or so years, either just start it up again or start a new band. The nostalgias gotta wear thin at some point.
I'll check out suicide file, sounds good!
I remember the oasis shows, they were sick, reminded me a lot of all ages shows out in Penrith.
I also noticed every word were on the bill, another band I haven't seen in bloody ages.
I know what you mean 😄, I still enjoy em but it's gonna come to an end eventually haha
You need to spend lots of time with people before they consider you a good friend.
Usually this comes from school, university, work or sport / clubs.
But, most people are flat out juggling life's commitments and simply don't have time for news friends.
Also, as you get older your partner needs to be friends with your friends partners as well otherwise they will veto the catch ups / events.
If you are single it can make it harder, funnily enough.
I have given up on trying to make friends in Newcastle. I've been living here for almost six years, and I haven't been able to make a single friend. Thankfully, I still have my friends in Tweed Heads and a few online friends, otherwise, I would feel quite lonely.
Most people I meet in Newcastle seem to be focused on knowing someone or being from here originally. When I indicate that I don't fulfill either, I am often immediately excluded from the conversation. I've tried exploring different interests, joining sports groups, and even connecting with people through work. No luck.
Edit: If I didn't own a house or needed to be in Sydney for work, I would be out of here.
>Most people I meet in Newcastle seem to be focused on knowing someone or being from here originally. When I indicate that I don't fulfill either, I am often immediately excluded from the conversation. I've tried e
been here nearly 15 years, similiar life and experience.
Did you two just become best friends?
no, i hate that guy, ew(im kidding guys..)
its probably a me problem anyway, i dont have any friends, have never belonged or felt comfortable.
I moved from Dubbo to follow some friends and hopefully make new ones. ones i followed turned out to be toxic people, so no longer with them, just have no others anyways
more and more the abyss look nicer than being here
Wow.... The feels.
*Raises middle finger towards toxic people* yeah fuck them.
Agreed better off alone in that situation. Have you looked into travelling abroad? Mught help break the cycle.
nah, i aint leaving my dog (even if it would be with my mother). shes my world and only thing that keeps me really going.
Cool, I did think something was wrong with me. I had more luck making friends in Sydney compared to Newcastle.
I'm opposite, 8 years in Sydney and never really found a "family".
Mate, I hate to break it to you… there is something wrong with you, you not a born and bred Novo you just not family.
There is this phenomenon that affects all true born & bred Novos and it started deep within in the forges of Onesteel and BHP, where one of their chromosomes were hammered out resulting in short stature. (this is how you can tell if it’s generational, that saying there has been the occasional blow in that has bred with the locals after a regrettable big night on the turps and they gain a little stature). However, meiosis ensures all born and bred Novos share just about 50% of their genotype.
100%, I already knew there something wrong with me. Probably breath the wrong steelwork air as a kid. (Born and breed in the Gong!)
and there it is!
the gong gene wont thrive next to the newie gene
ps. hello steel brother!
An off shoot of the Mayfield Mutants.
small world im in wyong havent met any new friends i relocated from tweed as well about 12 months ago south tweed was home
Noice, I am from Murwillumbah, lived there for close 10 years. But was raised in Wollongong.
I'm from Vic and I feel* the exact same way been here almost a decade... jesus christ
Oh man, I feel so validated after reading everyone comments! I thought it was a "me thing". If it wasn't so weird, I would organise a catch for anyone in the same boat as us!
haha! you know what that's kinda tempting I feel like us non novocastrians would probably band together well. This is probably why immigrant communities stay together in groups/suburbs... (im being half serious and half fascetious)
edit to add: I do actually come from an immigrant family so I definitely have seen and experienced this haha
Hahah! Would be keen tho if someone else organised it!
I come from an immigrant family, 100% agreed with your comment and made me laugh.
yeah my parents liver in murbah we move d up to tweed in 2002 from raymond terrace did my last 2 years of high school at murbah high when i left home moved to south tweed worked in sth tweed for 12 plus years left tweed as i was homeless and moved to wyong about 12 months ago
I was born in murwillumbah. Family left for CC/ Hunter Valley when I was a baby so I have nothing further to add, it’s just a place that gets mentioned so infrequently that every time someone does it’s an involuntary response for me to say “I was born there” 😂
Maybe you two can be friends
Complete opposite for me, been here near on 3 years and have a great support network. Was lucky I had met a couple of them before on a ski season.
My partner and I moved to Newy in Dec 2018. Since then, we've made loads of friends and host monthly board game parties with over a dozen people.
We're from the USA, so maybe we get a free pass?
It must be a big thing with Americans. My American friend is into board games like Connect Four. I’ve never experienced anyone so social. One minute we were eating at the Lambton Park, the next minute I ask “Where is V.?” Friend points to the park, and there is V. playing football actively with a group of strangers.
I think its a personality thing. My bestfriend can go to the shops to pick up milk and end up making a new friend instead. Somehow. I don't know how she does it.
Yes you do, people think Americans are 'fun' and 'exotic' and would think it's cool to be friends with 'the Americans'
My relative married a Canadian, sometimes I feel as though if that same person was from Australia he wouldn't be interested in her, but being from somewhere like the US or Canada makes you 'interesting' and suddenly anything from either country becomes 'fun' and 'quirky'
It's interesting to observe that when Brits and other foreigners come here they don't get the same treatment
I've noticed that when I join a conversation with Australians, you "code switch" and start using American words instead of normal aussie language. It's actually quite funny to watch. You probably don't even realize you're doing it.
Parking Lot instead of carpark, bathroom instead of toilet, sandal instead of thong, etc. Today at work, one of the civil folks even mentioned the sidewalk (instead of footpath)!
One that really got me laughing was at dinner the other night (with local aus friends) and we were talking about knives and one of the aussies says "That's not a knoife" with EXTRA Australian added!
Haha that is interesting, I guess maybe it's done in an effort to be more easily understood
When I was growing up I had a friend in school who was from Minnesota (his family moved here for a while so his father could work at the local university)
Sometimes it catches me out the other way when I'm not expecting that an American word will be different to the Australian one
I remember one interaction vividly as a kid which took me a bit to figure out
Him: I'm just going to go get a Kleenex
Me: I'm sorry, a what?
Him: I'm getting a Kleenex
Me: Sorry, what did you say?
Him: I'm getting a Kleenex
Me: Oh right, Kleenex, like the tissue brand. You're getting a tissue. I understand
Tell us more about the board game parties !
We are boardgame enthusiasts, with a focus on "social" games. We have a collection of games in storage in the USA that is over 100 games. When we moved here we picked 13 games to import and since then have added to our collection. I think we have re-purchased only three games that we already owned.
I say "social" games because for us, playing a game is not about "winning" or "losing", but more about the shared experience between friends around a table. Social deduction games do this, but there are a lot of other types of games that also tick this box. I know a lot of people only play games to "win" and that's fine but we're not focused on that aspect of the hobby. We've got some "heavy" games that take literally hours to play, and also super light party games that can be taught and played in less than 5 minutes.
We tend to favor games that can play a lot of people with either simultaneous play (no one likes waiting around for their turn while a dozen other people think about what they are going to do) OR have high levels of player interaction so that you are always paying attention (you can't "check out" and look at your mobile if the game is looking for you to react continuously).
We also favor games with a very high player count. If a game only plays up to 4, then we probably don't have it on our shelf... or we have "house ruled" it to allow for a higher player count. That's not to say we don't own any 4-player games (we do have a few) but we tend to favor games that play up to 8 or more.
Some examples of our favorites: Pit, Forgotten Waters, Escape from the Aliens in Outer Space, Anomia, The Great Dalmuti, Mascarade, Codenames, Dead Last, Robo Rally, Captain Sonar, Telestrations (we play a homebrew version of this), Word Thief, Heat, Samurai Sword, and if you are willing to venture into mobile games that can be played in a group, Spaceteam, and any of the Jackbox games.
That sounds awesome fun. I don’t know any of those except Jackbox but I enjoy the idea of games for fun in themselves with a group vs. competing to win. That is a huge collection you have !!
100% - board Game are friggen awesome!
Lol, I moved here from USA back in 2016 and I also hosted board games nights to meet people. Weird thing though was all the people I met were fellow outsiders. Met my wife here -- she's an outsider, all her friends here are outsiders as well. None of us actually managed to make friends with anyone born in Newy.
That hasn't been our experience. We do have a couple of people we've met that are originally from the USA, but the bulk of our new group is local Newcastle people.
I've been here 10 years and couldn't agree more. If you dont have family here or went to school here you're a nobody.
Yep, about the same length of time here as well and I’ve had the same experience. She’s a lonely old part of the world.
Been here for nearly 4 years and i feel your pain
Similar experience for me too. I moved here literally a week or two before shit hit the fan with Covid, so I thought maybe that was it. But it seems that’s what it’s like. I’ve heard other people say the same thing too.
Here here. Lol. I gave up around just at the start of the pandemic, just assumed it was a me thing. I am yet to go out again, maybe one day!
Haha I feel like Covid probably made the whole situation even worse! Like people are still stuck in their bubbles.
I’ve tried a couple of Meet Up events with some limited success. It just depends on whether you can find a decent group that interests you. I’ve still not met anyone I’d venture so far as to call a friend though.
Haha! Oh man, that makes me feel more socially anxious lol.
If I was more "socially" good organise, I would organise a lunch day for the outsider of the area!
I’ve heard there are some expat groups on Facebook knocking around, but haven’t bothered looking into it. Could be worth a look.
Im sorry but it’s utterly ridiculous to suggest that novocastrians, who you would otherwise get along with, instantly cut ties the minute you indicate you’re not from Newcastle. It sucks that you can’t make friends but to suggest it’s because we only like other Newcastle folk is just ridiculous. I have ii Mmm never, nor have I ever heard of anyone, goingkl around saying, doing or thinking like that.
Try joining some individual teams in Urban Rec, I've made new friends doing that, and it's great fun!
Thanks so much for the suggestion. Will check it out!
I think it’s because so many Novocastrians live here their whole lives and keep the same friend group they’ve known since high school. I find many have no interest in making new friends because if they haven’t known you for 20 years, they don’t want to know you. I was recently on the Gold Coast and because so many people there are from other states or other countries, they are more open to making new connections as they move to the area knowing no one. I am originally from the US and had a really tough time in Newy the first few years because the place is so insular.
Size of the city, proximity to Sydney, the fact that a lot of people from Newcastle are born, raised, die here. They go to school with the same people from K-12, and in some cases, go to uni together. Almost everyone I went to school with has ended up moving back and 'to be close to friends' is one of the top reasons.
It's a very insular community.
I've only just arrived. But I've been doing some family tree research and found out that a couple generations back my pops was in the first Waratah council and lived just near where I randomly ended up.
Never knew I had any link to the area but I do going back at least to the 1860s.
I just moved back here and found out the bronze statue that I pass at Waratah shopping village is my great uncle or something.
The one reading a book? I always think that's a real person! Every time he gets me.
Yes that one. There's no plaque or anything on the statue so I don't know what his story is, will need to ask my mum.
If you can find his name or anyone else you might want to look in to https://trove.nla.gov.au/ has amazing records of old news papers that are really easy to search online. You can see a pdf of the article and a AI generated version of it which is reasonably accurate depending how clear the pdf is. It's a great resource.
Strangely, I got his name and got no results on that page. There's some Herald articles about him, but I don't have a subscription.
Was feral when I had to do uni group assignments and the rest of the group was 1 friend group from school who had no time for others.
Was such an honour just tasting the same air as private school alums
As the resentful alumni of a local private school, I would like to commiserate and apologise. Most entitled, boring, nasty shits one-on-one; in a group, you deserved some kind of medal.
I always found it insanely creepy how friend groups were encouraged to pick the same course so they could stick together. Just a weird way to approach adult life.
I was at a local government school and there was one group of friends that all seemed to date only within their group. It's not surprising that several marriages occurred too. I never understood why they wouldn't branch out and widen their social circles.
I've been here almost 7yrs, it seems like 80% of the people I've met here have either never left, or have gone away and moved back.
I've made some friends here. Not heaps but the ones I have made are quality.
Edit: Come to think of it, the quality friends I do have are all blow-ins.
Dating is the sketchy part.
Because they don’t go anywhere else and don’t know the real world lol 😂
What do you mean!!!!! They go to bali 😂😂😂😂
Ugh, the Clique in Newcastle. I haven’t lived there 17 years and nothings changed I see.
Big fishes, small ponds.
Newy is the cliquey-est place I've ever lived. Moving to Newy is almost like moving to another country in that outsiders generally get welcomed by other outsiders who've been living here for longer and everyone just sorta accepts that the 'natives' are only interested in hanging out with the same crew they formed in Year 3.
Funny thing is what my wife and I call the "Newy Uniform" where you'll see like five dudes all wearing the same shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, mustache, hairstyle, glasses. You know the look.
So true, get me outta here
On the flip side, Newy is like the perfect city from a climate / geography standpoint. Plus by global standards it is clean, safe, rich, excellent public transit, convenient local airport + only a few hours train ride to the international airport. Got forests, 'mountains', ocean, lakes, beaches... 🤙
OP is from Sydney - Imposter alert
It's because no one goes anywhere else, or if they do they run back home quickly. I've lived all over Australia and never found anywhere as local centric as Newcastle. Including small country towns.
I've grown up here and its so true people are just very uninterested in socializing outside their friend groups.
I'll receive a boatload of ignorant hate over this. But. It has to be said.
It's full of ignorant Bogans who like to jerk their own egos in their own tiny social circles. Fortunately, not everyone is like that and the rising multi-culturalism in Newcastle is helping make the city livelier.
It's heaps shit trying to find solid work, a partner, a house etc... As if you're not in one of those cliquey Bogan family circles, generally you're not eligible to have any of those mentioned prior. All the good jobs go to Bogans, the women all go to the Bogans as they have the good jobs, the houses all go to the Bogans, as they have the money thanks to knowing some bogan mate's dad from their bogan school. Nepotism is freaking extreme here.
Allot of blow-ins (people who have moved to Newcastle) try to justify all this crap. But... In reality, they haven't lived here long enough and/or they are Bogan enough to fit in.
Additionally, the place is a complete sausage fest too. So don't move here young fellas, if you're reading, for your own good, go somewhere else to find a lady and have a good life with her.
Lol pretty true.
I'd say in my experience it's all the st Pius fucks tbh.
Huge school of like 800+ per year, and they're all connected through that.
Hahaha I did go there and can confirm.
I'm from lake Mac, but half of my friends and acquaintances all know each other through that.
Is pretty difficult to graft in but understandable tbh
Grade A burn.
Wish I knew this before moving. 22 years old and just cannot find friends for the fucking life of me. I am very independent, stable and on the attractive side but still cannot find any girl with the same interest of becoming filthy rich, travelling and living a life of luxury.
As the saying goes, “men chase championships and women chase champions”
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Its the same as anywhere if you were born , grew up, then spend the next 50 yrs there. It all blends into one place. Its just Newy to me wherever i go in this town. If your for real most people from Newy will know and you will be fine. But , yes everyone that is born here has a big enough group of friends and acquaintances not to really worry about blow ins.
I think u r right
It’s the whole Hunter really. Everyone knows everyone and they don’t like people coming from elsewhere to infiltrate their perfect area lol
It's hardly Wandin Valley
Oh shoosh you Esme!
Maybe you're just a cunt? Every else I know that moved here had no problems, but I still can't make any real friends. Every one made it pretty clear why, so maybe that's your problem too. Maybe we'd be friends 🤷♀️
But when we are fucking cunts, we're not being cunts about it.
I’ve grown up and lived in newy my whole life and have a large and close friend group, just none of my friends or anyone else I know wanna make new friends and everyone I’ve talked to that has moved here has found it’s hard to make friends.
I probably shouldn't have said anything. Making friends really isn't my strong suit. Maybe we are all cunts? And your friends are the nice ones 🤷♀️
I think u/Aussicunt's comment is still valid. I don't want to make friends, do you know many cunts there are!? Its incredibly rare to find geniune individuals, and ain't no body got that kind of time or energy to waste. Add to that the tribalism and social divisions generated by our media and governments and its no wonder you can't find someone to be a friend.
Because they were born here and don’t go anywhere else
To be a true novocastrian you must have at least three generations of ancestors here, that’s just how it is, that way you have a certain amount of local knowledge that makes you more accepted. (I’ve lived most of my life here but wasn’t born here)
So, I should have friends dripping off me then?
My family were some of the first vine cutters to settle Ash Island in the 1800's.
I have a 3rd cousin who won gold in the Olympics and Commonwealth Games, born and raised in Adamstown.
I honestly don't give a fuck, I love it here, it's home.
It's my kids home.
I remember the neighbours friend asking if they met their new neighbours, his reply was "nah, they're only renting.
They'll be gone in six months, fuck em."
14 fucking years later, the cunt still won't look at me!
If I recall correctly, I had an ancestor working the vines there too. I'm guessing he died an early death because his daughter ended up at the Newcastle Industrial School.
I had no idea that there were vines, I presume grape? grown on Ash Island back in the day, which proves my point
I used to think everyone was cliquey wherever I went and then I realised I just sucked at making friends. There’s no way you’ve interacted with even 5% of the local population so you need to start moving outside your box and find new ways to meet people. You’ll find nice people for sure.
I’ve been here 5 years and run into more people I know than my wife who grew up here. I think it might be a personality thing
It's no more cliquey than Sydney or Melbourne - it's just smaller, so it seems that way.
I say this AS a blow-in from Sydney. I've got a bunch of local friends and fellow blow-ins from Sydney (and I've been here 17 years).
From someone who grew up in Newcastle and spent near a decade in the inner west I strongly disagree. Almost everyone I met around that area was not from that area. Same can’t be said for Newcastle
and I grew up in Sydney, but spent 10 years in Melbourne before moving here. Move the goal posts a little more.
I’m not moving any goal posts… I said I disagree with you
Boston with nice weather.
I found that not growing up here and not being actively involved in local sport was a bit of a hurdle. My husband is not from Newcastle either and we met here early on so that helped to a degree, even having kids and meeting parents etc didn’t help that much. Thankfully I’ve met a lot of people through work so have kinda created my tribe, albeit not huge and largely superficial (with some really solid friendships thrown in) but after almost 20 years it’s enough for me. I guess it takes time to really grow into trusted relationships but I feel that’s everywhere. I can’t imagine it being easy for someone to step into where I grew up either? My siblings still mostly hang out with who we went to school with, that share their hobbies and now have kids growing up in the same town. Relationships are always easier with a shared background 🤷🏻♀️
Have just moved here from abroad, I’ll be ya friend
I’m moving here in 6-8 months from the USA and these comments are making me scared that I won’t have any friends 😂😂
If moving to a uni you should be fine
Been here 9 years from overseas, only in the last few years Ive got real mates, that I can truly count on, support etc. Having a child uped the friendship chances too.
I've noticed you can't bad mouth people easily here...someone always knows someone lol!
Sadly a bit of a loner here. I’m resigned to the fact that’s just the way it is. Got some great books here I love reading. Had a great friend I’d meet up with every weekend, then he met his partner, and it all stopped. Connected with a friend I hadn’t spoken to in 15 years and our initial meetup went so well, we decided to meet for coffee, periodically. Nothing regular. I am a full-time carer, so it’s a bit difficult to meet up at times.
Nobody ever leaves
I didn't find it like that at all.
I moved here at 38, played some team sport (way past my used by date), and have been going to weddings, 40ths and past players catch ups every since.
newcastle is fucking shit i got the fuck outta there ahahah
They took our jobs!
Ty tok ur jawbs!
Is there a region town/city that isn't that way though?
Yep. Most of them.
I lived in Newcastle from 12-23 years old and moved to Sydney and later elsewhere. 99% of my friends from high school are still living in the same suburbs where their parents live and their grandparents.
The people who went to Sydney / Melbourne / Brisbane for uni or adventure all ended up moving back. They went from being popular and cool in high school to needing to mingle and meet other people in different places and couldn’t handle it. Much easier to just have a big group around you that you’ve always known.
I was the new kid in school and my family moved away when I was 19 so I never really had the roots there the rest of them did.
This is very true, when I left newcastle for a few years at 18, I came back and there was still the same people at the same pub lmao.
Yeah man. I’m in my thirties and go back to visit every now and then. Still the same shit every weekend as it was 15 years ago.
I lived there from highschool til after uni and I am friends with people from school on fb and I noted that most still live there, I had a different friend group in uni too and even they have moved back from Sydney now most of them have kids. Everyone is still hanging out with the same people. Shit the smashing pumpkins concert the other week was like a year 12 reunion on fb from where I sat.
I left and then my mum died, my dad moved away and my ex’s mum moved away and his aunt died, there is literally nothing tying me to that city aside from a few friends that I wasn’t really close to. So I just don’t go back.
But yeah, it seems nothing really changes there and it’s as cliquey as ever, if you didn’t grow up there it would be tough to have an in but I’m sure there’s ways. Sports teams, fitness classes, craft circles, meetup?
Been here 6 years and made more friends, and some of the best friends, of anywhere in my entire life (am 39M). Also lived in Sydney, Melbourne, Japan, Coffs.
I mean, it's known as the fishbowl ....
It's more insular than the insular peninsula and more inbred than cronulla..
Coz it's a shit hole
Everywhere is cliquey, plus Newcastle is small compared to most cities in the world .
You’ll be able to infiltrate the lads soon officer
I dunno, I grew up a bit further west (still Hunter but country) and moved here for uni. Joined clubs and made friends (and met my now husband) in my degree. Lived here ever since and found it no more cliquey than the town where I grew up, which, you know, being a country town, was also cliquey.
I guess I have nerdy hobbies which generally have clubs made around them which makes it easier??? I guess if I made friends mostly by, I dunno, going out on the town or something it would be harder the older I got.
Also if you make one friend, then you can insinuate yourself into their friend group, and then you insinuate yourself into those friends’ friend groups, and then you have lots of friends! Problem solved.
So are northern beaches but I always welcome blows in into my life
People don’t really leave here. They’re born here, and die here. I was born here and lived here 26 years, then I left in 2020 to move to Victoria and just recently came back after the passing of my mother, and I’m practically an outsider again. None of my friends who I grew up with here in Newcastle have anything to do with me, they basically shut me out after I moved. I can’t wait to go back to Victoria to my small country town.
I've lived in lots of different cities on lots of continents and this question pops up online in all of them. People in their 20s and 30s move somewhere new and ask why it's so hard to make friends. It's hard but it's not Newcastle, it's just being an adult.
Is it though? I'm adding this to my list of red flag statements which are:
I have a very high IQ
I am an Alpha male
People cut me down because tall poppy syndrome
Town x is so cliquey
If you've lived in a town for many years and not made a friend, its either you, or your lifestyle is giving you limited opportunities.
I tend to disagree. I was involved in a few sports team, been to a few meet up events, few art classes and worked in IT (female). All those events and industry were extremely cliquey. In my own experience, I found Newcastle one of the hardest area to make friends so far. (Lived in Brisbane, Tweed Heads, Melbourne and Wollongong.)
Speaking from others experiences, also I’m adding This statement to my list of red flags, you seem very ignorant 👍
I'd wear arrogant, my reply was pretty direct and a bit rude I guess. Not sure about ignorant though. I know lots of people who have moved here from elsewhere and they have a good network of friends. The thing they have in common is they are really decent people, who are genuinely interested in others and nice to be around. These kind of people seem to get pulled in pretty quick if they want to. They also have jobs and hobbies that connect them with others. That's why I said it could also be from limited opportunity.
Lol. This is so fucking lame. Sorry not sorry.
Newcastle is a town like any other. If you can’t seem to make a single friend here, look within. These posts are so ridiculous.
I think people are confident, smart and have a goal they are working towards, so if your not coming alongside or crossing paths regularly its hard. I.e. a tennis club or your favourite restaurant. If people see you frequent enough they remember your name, and by chance they will be interested in what you get upto or your adventures.
If your into Nemesis Lockdown (\*steam version) : I host games pretty regularly online. I am around Darby St, Newcastle a fair bit and enjoy tennis (\* Newy, Broadmeadow area) but after covid I really need some casual players to catch me up to a workable competitive fitness.
Weird… I’ve lived in rural towns, a few different suburbs in Sydney and 6 different suburbs here. I find Newcastle the least cliquey by far.
Cause it’s a town not a village.
It's a city and Australias 2nd oldest
Yeah. I just mean, it’s not a village, people don’t rely on the fact that other people are around them to exist, like in a village.
Everyone already knows everyone. We never needed to be open to new friendships, so never learned how.
POV I fall wow with my drugs and my dog ate it
I've lived around here / lake Mac my whole life and as an introverted person I'd say Newcastle is a place where you kinda have to invite yourself. Like I know lots of people but am only good friends with a small small amount. Put yourself out there and reach out to people you like. If they are cliquey past they probably aren't gonna be good friends.
Try living in The Barossa Valley......cliquey as f#\*k
Have been here for about 10 years, born and raised in western Sydney. I first moved to Mayfield, then lived in cooks hill and am now in Hamilton.
In my opinion, it comes from this big town/small city trying to segregate themselves. Growing up in shitney you have pretty clear ethnic and geographic awareness and it is mostly pretty multicultural. Societal drama is driver through the social divides, whether that be natural or media created. In Newcastle, from my experience, a huge majority are white but there is a big difference in class/wealth. We have the extremes of inequality both in Newy and the greater hunter. People in certain areas are stigmatised, but we only have a small amount of venues in town to cater, so everyone has to mix together. It just turns into an extension of high school. A large majority of people come out of maybe 5 different high schools, so as a young environment you have natural high school cliqueyness, and then the people that don't move on perpetuate it.
Go out on a wed/Fri/sat in different areas and you
We’re pretty small and rural compared to other cities. Everyone knows everyone.
I lived in Newcastle in the 90s. There would be Saturday nights where the crowded venues would be deserted. I figured there had to be a hotline between the locals.