Better off not telling anyone. The coast guard taking a shipment is the cost of doing business to them. they find out you took it, it might be a different story.
Exactly. A drug dealer will care more about staying out of jail than a kilo of cocaine, but they'll care a hell of a lot more about a kilo of cocaine than they will your life. It's definitely best to just leave it alone and pretend you never saw it, but if you must have it, keep it well hidden and don't tell a goddamn soul.
>keep it well hidden and don't tell a goddamn soul
Lol! You know what’s never happened in the history of cocaine? Someone having a bunch and being quiet.
That much cocaine is impossible to keep hidden forever though. Especially if you decide to try and get money for it from someone or use it yourself. Hell, having access to that much cock could easily kill you.
I mean you would (should) never be able to sell it all, but selling grams to single ozs is safe. Especially if you have a well off group, you can get rid of an oz a month just through friends use. That's $2k/month which is a great additional income.
I could sell 1-4oz (28g-112g) a month when I was young without causing a scene. Moving into 4-16oz(112g-448g)/month would attract the wrong attention for sure. This would be 3-5kilos so 2-3 years of being your friends plug.
But honestly yeah I'd just sell to friends while using which means it would be 1 year max of fun.
Edit: it's 20-30 kilos, off a zero. So yeah it would be hard to sell all of it. It'd be fun but definitely indicative of an early heart attack type of life.
10 kilos is a million dollars at street price. So I’m presuming this is the “newsworthy” price of the coke not the actual value which is probably 1/4 of that.
When I was doing it I got it from a friend who only dealt to friends. To be fair Scottsdale Arizona is an hour away, plenty of people there who do it lol.
Antagonist guy from No Country For Old Men rocks up to town. "Anyone find a dead bald eagle with Cole strapped to it?" "Uh, old Billie was in here saying something about that"
(A coin comes out)
There's at least -two- numbers they can call: one for the cops, one for the cartel.
Be interesting to find out which group is handing out stacks of cash no questions asked.
Florida offshore boater here, all the time. However, in this day and age, you don't tell the authorities simply bc it will ruin your fishing/boating day. If you tell the USCG, they gonna make you wait there watching the package until they arrive and then you gotta fill out all kinds of paperwork. It's a drag. Everyone knows not to pickup or keep the package bc LEO/military has eyes on every single thing going on down there. You can assume every vessel is on radar somewhere, and/or that the package has been tracked. OR that there is a gps on it.
I once hitchhiked a ride with a lobster man in the Florida Keys in the late 70’s. He told me that the year before, the lobsters had been few and far between. He was fairly certain that he was going to go bankrupt. Then one day he spotted something on the shore of an uninhabited island. He got out his binoculars and sure enough, 4 bales of weed had washed up. He rinsed them off in his bathtub. Dry, he said each one weighed 40 pounds. It saved his business.
Under these circumstances, you better believe I would be walking in the opposite direction. I don't feel like having 8 masked Nicaraguans breaking into my house at night to torture me wanting to know where their shit is.
I used to have a friend that worked in sea towing and said he has found cocaine or weed packages before. I asked him if he was ever tempted and said absolutely not. He said, someone you don't want to meet may be looking for them, they could be law enforcement decoys with GPS tracking used for training, or they have been in the water a long time and ruined.
Also, small planes may drop packages into the water near land, but if the pickup is running late the current may take it out.
Am Miamian. Have experienced plane drop while on the beach ~3 am. If this happens, don't look too closely, just gather your shit cuz it's time to go.
My sister's old college roommate lived in Florida for a time. She said she was in a fishing boat with some siblings and friends in a lake/swamp once when a package parachuted into it. They watched a pair of black Porsches roll up, retrieve the package and fire an automatic burst of gunfire into the lake as what she figured was a warning. They left and never went back to that spot haha.
Nah, son, that's how you start trouble. The point is to NOT see wtf is going on, that's how you survive this kind of stupid city crap. Drug dealers don't like to be noticed.
It’s all good! You’re absolutely right about not being a problem for those we are willing to drop cocaine onto the beach at 3am! You’d only be a problem one time for them
I used to live 2 blocks from the beach in Brigantine NJ. Sometimes I would go to take a walk on the beach at 12 or 1 in the morning when the weather was nice. It’s awesome. I had the whole beach to myself.
As a kid in the 70s, I'd watch Happy Days with my folks. When Ritchie and the guys talked to their dates about going to Inspiration Point to watch the submarine races, I got all confused. Asked my parents if there were actual submarine races and they had to explain the euphemism.
Once when I was on mushrooms, I took a walk on the beach at night. There had been a pretty strong storm several hours before. There was still lightning that was off in the distance to the right if I was facing the ocean. It was behind some distant clouds, and was illuminating them beautifully. I found a lifeguard stand, and climbed up into it. I was just watching the lightning and enjoying the beauty of it, when I noticed the full moon just starting to rise up out of the ocean towards the left. It was just one of those perfect moments for me, that I won’t soon forget.
Once i was on mushrooms in wildwood in the wee hours (and late september) and i decided to ride my bike around. I was riding on the boardwalk and this seagull was right in my path. It engaged in a game of chicken with me which i lost and i skid and almost wiped out. That bird was deadstareing at me for like 10 seconds before it flew away so i could continue.
Once a friend and I were on acid in a park that backed up to a school recess concrete area. It was in the middle of the night and the rays of the moon highlighted the contrast of the grass beside the concrete. We stood there in astonishment and amazement as to how the two completely different environments (concrete and grass) could coexist in such a straight line.
Exactly! You don’t want to create your very own True Romance scenario and this day and age you can bet they are sending more than just a Virgil sized guy to come look. It would be more like five Anton Chigurh’s. Fuck that shit.
Do people just chip these packages and float them for later retrieval? It seems like a read half a dozen stories a year about people coming across these packages.
Florida serves as a staging point for large quantities of drugs making their way into the US from South America and plastic-wrapped bundles of cocaine are often lost at sea or tossed overboard by traffickers being pursued by law enforcement.
That cocaine is frequently found floating around the vicinity of the Florida Keys because of a convergence of ocean currents.
Once upon a time, I was in the Coast Guard. We confiscated enough cocaine to buy Miami.
> That cocaine is frequently found floating around the vicinity of the Florida Keys because of a convergence of ocean currents.
I just found my retirement plan!
My FiL has lived in South Florida his whole life. In the late 70's and early 80's he had a boat and would pick up these air drops in the ocean off the coast of let's say Miami (close enough) and take them to a mainland drop and be paid handsomely.
When one drop was kilos of cocaine when he had only ever done cannabis before, and there were folks with automatic weapons at the mainland drop, that was his last freelance run and he "retired".
My father's friend group growing up would meet bush pilots in the Southwest deserts to pick up bricks of cocaine and marijuana.
The 70s were wild, man.
Do you think they search the absolute shit out people that find this stuff and turn it in or just take their word for the amount they found? I’d be fucking terrified to turn that shit in
I just feel like some of these “Good Samaritans” pocket a key or two and turn the rest in to make it look like they did the right thing and also get a lifetime supply of the devils dandruff
Edit: trying to reply to u/_night_cat about if it goes stale but it won’t let me so here’s what I do know
I never had it long enough to find out! As long as it stays dry I assume it’ll keep for a long time. Coke will dissolve in high humidity REAL fast. One time our “guy” came camping with us and wanted to surprise us with a big ass mirror full of lines after a wedding (which took place in the woods hence the camping)…well it was about 90 degrees and 90% humidity and needless to say when he slid that mirror out from under his cabin bed he was horrified to find it had basically all turned into a watery sludge haha. I don’t remember the final outcome of that; he had plenty more to go around, but the look on his face said it all. That part I’ll never forget!
They probably don’t search them. If the person pocketed a small chunk they won’t care if the amount being turned in is big enough
I have no idea though
Lived and worked all around there. Just seeing this article headline gave me anxiety.
You saw nothing. You know nothing. You don’t know where you are. You were somewhere far away. You never speak of what you never saw.
I have family in the keys and can confirm all this. Square groupers are real, and most fishermen will simply let them float on by if they come across them. Key folk aren't big on reporting anything to law enforcement, and these are small towns, so it wouldn't take much for someone to notice a new dealer in town. That leads to headless corpses as the cartels don't fuck around with thieves. Let that shit float.
I live right across the street from the beach in Florida. And I hear stories and news articles about people finding $1 million in cocaine all the time. If I find $1 million in cocaine, if there’s any story at all, it’s gonna be local man finds $200,000 worth of cocaine.
Decades ago, in Los Angeles Harbor, a commercial boat owner and his young deckhand were working on their floating boat in the harbor.
Next thing you knew a boat came wizzing by being chased by the Harbor Patrol. Somebody on the speeding boat threw a silver Halliburton, water proof brief case and kept going, still being chased by the Harbor Patrol. The young deckhand looked at the owner and without words took his skiff and motored over to the floating briefcase, grabbed it and came back to the owners boat. They took a good look and nobody was around. They went down in the cabin of the boat, placed the briefcase on the table, and opened it. It had about $2.2 million in it. They didn’t report anything.
Fuck yeah.
No lie: I was at a tattoo expo that booked Reverend Horton Heat as the evening’s entertainment. But it was on Halloween night and *nobody* wanted to be at a tattoo expo, much less stay late for the concert. It was like having a private show, I think there were 30 people in the audience. And they still gave us a helluva show. God bless Jimbo!
Use to live in the keys and do search and rescue. Had a case where two fine gentleman were fishing and found a kilo floating. One decided to take a bump, the other abstained. Within minutes, the adventurous one was chasing the good guy around the boat with a screwdriver. The guy grabbed the key and jumped overboard to avoid being stabbed.
A few minutes later Mr Keybump went full cardiac arrest and collapsed. The second guy climbed back onboard, called us, and we launched a helo for medevac. He died on the way to Jackson Memorial.
Moral of the story: Cocaine is incredibly toxic. The pure shit will kill you. Don't fuck with it.
To answer the question 8 saw a few times in this thread - yes, finding bales and "square groupers" happens way, WAY more than it's reported to the news. If it's found and the cops are called before anyone else, it doesnt normally make the news - it's handed off to local a Intel unit to run it down.
All I want to know is how does one report this kind of thing without either being arrested and assumed related to a cartel. Or without getting murdered by a cartel when you happen to stumble upon this kind of thing?
>A boater found 65 pounds of cocaine worth an estimated $1 million floating in the Florida Keys, the U.S. Border Patrol said.
>
>The packages, which had pictures of a bald eagle on the front, were found about 7 miles off Islamorada, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said.
Florida's governor likes to call Florida the "freedom state", so the bald eagle branding seems on point.
Rumor has it, DeSantis likes to snort a little "freedom" every now and then too...
https://i.imgur.com/mAYnjqK.mp4
And, interestingly, due to Florida’s proximity to South America and its status as a high-intensity drug trafficking area, so much cocaine has been found in Florida waters that experts say “cocaine sharks” may be consuming the drugs underwater.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/22/cocaine-sharks-drugs-florida-coast
I wonder how many people over history have stumbled upon such packages in the ocean but instead of reporting it to the police their reaction was "I guess I'm a drug dealer now" 🤣 You know the temptation would definitely be high for some people
I'd love to keep that shit, but I worry about the thought of there being a tracker in one of those bricks. I'd definitely cut the bail apart at minimum to make sure there isn't one stuffed in there.
When we were in Cuba a few years ago, I came across dozens of blue, plastic-wrapped, drug bricks littering the beach on a deserted morning walk. Knowing that possession of drugs in Cuba has severe penalties, even death, I just kept going. Not sure if it was coke or heroin but there was a lot of it, in every direction for a few hundred yards. I’d just read how their Coast Guard or cops in boats or whatever, actually blew up suspected traffickers and there was zero tolerance and even immediate executions for smugglers who were caught.
*I suppose I found the results of that, that day. Sometimes I have regrets that I didn’t just grab a brick to sample or mail myself, but that would’ve been crazy. I got freaked out and walked away…* smart decision, no matter the temptation.
I often wonder where people get the financial figures on drug cost. Yes, 21 kilos is a large amount, but I have one article saying that a kilo costs about 30k, while another says 52k. So the pricing varies pretty wildly.
Ah yes, the rare and valuable White Lobster.
Was on a chartered fishing boat in the Virgin Islands and the captain said, "If we find a white lobster, we're going right back to port."
Never did catch one of those elusive white lobsters.
With how often I see these kinds of articles, I wonder how many times people find a pack like these and don’t tell the authorities.
Better off not telling anyone. The coast guard taking a shipment is the cost of doing business to them. they find out you took it, it might be a different story.
Exactly. A drug dealer will care more about staying out of jail than a kilo of cocaine, but they'll care a hell of a lot more about a kilo of cocaine than they will your life. It's definitely best to just leave it alone and pretend you never saw it, but if you must have it, keep it well hidden and don't tell a goddamn soul.
>keep it well hidden and don't tell a goddamn soul Lol! You know what’s never happened in the history of cocaine? Someone having a bunch and being quiet.
just get rid of it in really really small piles
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I got a title for it. Nose Country for Old Men.
nose candy* for old men
It's an entire season of Archer
I have found it works best if you just snort small amounts of it up your nose every day, until it's gone!
That much cocaine is impossible to keep hidden forever though. Especially if you decide to try and get money for it from someone or use it yourself. Hell, having access to that much cock could easily kill you.
> having access to that much cock could easily kill you. Too much of it!
Have to limit yourself to 8” rails
Is it the length, thickness, or overall frequency of the railings?
Might have to boof it at that point.
> Hell, having access to that much cock could easily kill you. Can never have too much cock.
This human cocks.
That guy that died from a horse might disagree.
I mean you would (should) never be able to sell it all, but selling grams to single ozs is safe. Especially if you have a well off group, you can get rid of an oz a month just through friends use. That's $2k/month which is a great additional income. I could sell 1-4oz (28g-112g) a month when I was young without causing a scene. Moving into 4-16oz(112g-448g)/month would attract the wrong attention for sure. This would be 3-5kilos so 2-3 years of being your friends plug. But honestly yeah I'd just sell to friends while using which means it would be 1 year max of fun. Edit: it's 20-30 kilos, off a zero. So yeah it would be hard to sell all of it. It'd be fun but definitely indicative of an early heart attack type of life.
10 kilos is a million dollars at street price. So I’m presuming this is the “newsworthy” price of the coke not the actual value which is probably 1/4 of that.
If you click the article it says like right away it was 21 individually wrapped kilos.
I fucked up my math, it should have been 4x. I’m surprised they reported 20 keys was only logged as a million.
When I was doing it I got it from a friend who only dealt to friends. To be fair Scottsdale Arizona is an hour away, plenty of people there who do it lol.
If I found that much coke I would definitely talk too much
Antagonist guy from No Country For Old Men rocks up to town. "Anyone find a dead bald eagle with Cole strapped to it?" "Uh, old Billie was in here saying something about that" (A coin comes out)
Movie sequel idea. No Country For Old Men II: South Beach
Cocaine shark!
Doo doo doo doodooo
There's actually an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia about this exact situation.
Yeah and they turned out fine
Mac being nicknamed PussyHands was too much lol
I'm sure they made good and rational decisions
What if the coast guard watches you pick it up and not call it in? Bad day for sure
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I think that’s how drug deals work too
There's at least -two- numbers they can call: one for the cops, one for the cartel. Be interesting to find out which group is handing out stacks of cash no questions asked.
It ain't the cops that's for sure.
Yeah, why pay for something you can steal for free?
Okay sheriff, I got Don Giorgio on the other line offering me $50k, what's your offer?
So it's not the local constabulary they're calling, but a drug dealer hotline?
What's the phone number?
867-5309 Ask for Jenny
Florida offshore boater here, all the time. However, in this day and age, you don't tell the authorities simply bc it will ruin your fishing/boating day. If you tell the USCG, they gonna make you wait there watching the package until they arrive and then you gotta fill out all kinds of paperwork. It's a drag. Everyone knows not to pickup or keep the package bc LEO/military has eyes on every single thing going on down there. You can assume every vessel is on radar somewhere, and/or that the package has been tracked. OR that there is a gps on it.
I once hitchhiked a ride with a lobster man in the Florida Keys in the late 70’s. He told me that the year before, the lobsters had been few and far between. He was fairly certain that he was going to go bankrupt. Then one day he spotted something on the shore of an uninhabited island. He got out his binoculars and sure enough, 4 bales of weed had washed up. He rinsed them off in his bathtub. Dry, he said each one weighed 40 pounds. It saved his business.
A lobster man - the creature from my nightmares.
I'm always baffled by the final, unwritten line in headlines like these "....and fucking told somebody about it"
Under these circumstances, you better believe I would be walking in the opposite direction. I don't feel like having 8 masked Nicaraguans breaking into my house at night to torture me wanting to know where their shit is.
I mean, the chances of 8 masked Nicaraguans breaking into your house at night to torture you wanting to know where their shit is low, but not zero.
Are you familiar with Square Grouper?
I used to have a friend that worked in sea towing and said he has found cocaine or weed packages before. I asked him if he was ever tempted and said absolutely not. He said, someone you don't want to meet may be looking for them, they could be law enforcement decoys with GPS tracking used for training, or they have been in the water a long time and ruined.
The FBI has entered the chat.
bro i would not tell the authorities and I would not do well as a human being if I found this
Also, small planes may drop packages into the water near land, but if the pickup is running late the current may take it out. Am Miamian. Have experienced plane drop while on the beach ~3 am. If this happens, don't look too closely, just gather your shit cuz it's time to go.
My sister's old college roommate lived in Florida for a time. She said she was in a fishing boat with some siblings and friends in a lake/swamp once when a package parachuted into it. They watched a pair of black Porsches roll up, retrieve the package and fire an automatic burst of gunfire into the lake as what she figured was a warning. They left and never went back to that spot haha.
Seems like a really good way to draw attention to yourself that you didn’t have to
In Florida? Nah firing a gun is almost considered polite.
How did they retrieve the package in the lake when they showed up in two Porsches?
I also have this question.
Maybe it’s my Canada showing: what on earth are you doing on the beach at 3am?
I lived a few blocks from the sand and my friends and I are insomniacs. We were star gazing.
Time to buy a pair of night vision to really enhance your star gazing experience
Nah, son, that's how you start trouble. The point is to NOT see wtf is going on, that's how you survive this kind of stupid city crap. Drug dealers don't like to be noticed.
I’m talking about in general if you enjoy star gazing. You know your area, but you can also go elsewhere where that wouldn’t be an issue.
Haha sorry! Yup I totally misunderstood
My dude thought the other commenter was talking about Pablo Esco-Star
The aliens be setting off the wack type shhh
It’s all good! You’re absolutely right about not being a problem for those we are willing to drop cocaine onto the beach at 3am! You’d only be a problem one time for them
I used to live 2 blocks from the beach in Brigantine NJ. Sometimes I would go to take a walk on the beach at 12 or 1 in the morning when the weather was nice. It’s awesome. I had the whole beach to myself.
I used to live 2 blocks from the beach in Ventnor and would do the same thing.
Small world.
Did you guys call yourselves ‘The Dangerous Nights Crew’? Slicked back hair, live for the weekend, sloppy steaks?
I said he USED to be a piece of shit! People CAN change!
Kick the sandman in the sack, stay up late insomniac!
If I’m on a beach at 3 am… it’s usually because I’m drinking and/or doing drugs.
the beach at night is wonderful - it's cooler, unpopulated, and lovely in the moonlight, why wouldn't you go at 3am?
It really is so much better at night. Small lake up north, full moon and pine breeze. I'll die there.
Watching the submarine races, what else?
As a kid in the 70s, I'd watch Happy Days with my folks. When Ritchie and the guys talked to their dates about going to Inspiration Point to watch the submarine races, I got all confused. Asked my parents if there were actual submarine races and they had to explain the euphemism.
Usually mushrooms and ecstasy.
Once when I was on mushrooms, I took a walk on the beach at night. There had been a pretty strong storm several hours before. There was still lightning that was off in the distance to the right if I was facing the ocean. It was behind some distant clouds, and was illuminating them beautifully. I found a lifeguard stand, and climbed up into it. I was just watching the lightning and enjoying the beauty of it, when I noticed the full moon just starting to rise up out of the ocean towards the left. It was just one of those perfect moments for me, that I won’t soon forget.
That's a magical experience, homie. Being in nature when things like that come together is perfection.
Once i was on mushrooms in wildwood in the wee hours (and late september) and i decided to ride my bike around. I was riding on the boardwalk and this seagull was right in my path. It engaged in a game of chicken with me which i lost and i skid and almost wiped out. That bird was deadstareing at me for like 10 seconds before it flew away so i could continue.
Once a friend and I were on acid in a park that backed up to a school recess concrete area. It was in the middle of the night and the rays of the moon highlighted the contrast of the grass beside the concrete. We stood there in astonishment and amazement as to how the two completely different environments (concrete and grass) could coexist in such a straight line.
I live for those moments
It's beautiful, highly recommend this life experience.
In Florida, beaches have lots of bars along them. Bars close around 2-3am. Next logical place to hang out is the beach.
It's warm enough to fuck on the beach that time of night. 8)
Just be careful with them sand fleas
Probably coke? Always keeps me up all night
picking up the dope drop, what else would I be doing up at 3am?
Eating tacos and regretting anal.
Yeah finders keepers my ass. I’m not fucking w anyone’s drop
Cocaine Bear is gonna get a sequel called Cocaine Dolphin. I’m calling it
Someone wrote a song about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7eD2PFBhlE
My friend said back in the day they would just leave boats adrift and bail if they thought they were in trouble.
I was hoping the cocaine was being guarded by real eagles on it that were high af
Gandalf, send the eagles!
Don’t give Hollywood any more ideas. Cocaine Bear was rough as it was.
Cocaine Bear was amazing. Absolutely the best movie about a bear on Cocaine.
I thought the title said, the eagles were just sitting on top of the bag like on a party boat
I wouldn't say shit because I didn't see shit and I don't know anything about it.
It’s none of my business.
And it's all of your cocaine
This is the right answer !
"No officer, I have no idea where this half million in cocaine came from..."
Hey, he'll be a big hero and get promoted to detective when he brings in that $250k in cocaine.
unless you ordered this batch of "Freedomcaine" (tm) then yeah, that's the right move
Exactly! You don’t want to create your very own True Romance scenario and this day and age you can bet they are sending more than just a Virgil sized guy to come look. It would be more like five Anton Chigurh’s. Fuck that shit.
What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?
Just once I'd like to find a brown paper bag filled with money, or $1 million worth of cocaine. Life is so unfair man
"Dead man found, face jammed into empty package" - headline if I find eagle-blow
“2 chicks at one time man. I think with a million dollars I could pull that off”
Do people just chip these packages and float them for later retrieval? It seems like a read half a dozen stories a year about people coming across these packages.
Florida serves as a staging point for large quantities of drugs making their way into the US from South America and plastic-wrapped bundles of cocaine are often lost at sea or tossed overboard by traffickers being pursued by law enforcement. That cocaine is frequently found floating around the vicinity of the Florida Keys because of a convergence of ocean currents. Once upon a time, I was in the Coast Guard. We confiscated enough cocaine to buy Miami.
> That cocaine is frequently found floating around the vicinity of the Florida Keys because of a convergence of ocean currents. I just found my retirement plan!
Or an awesome Saturday night!
The problem is you gotta offload it. Before you know it you're in a motel bathroom and someone is cutting your partners arm off with a chainsaw.
Forget the metal detector!
Square grouper! … I guess that was grass bales
But you pissed it away so fast, never meant to last, never meant to last.
Haha. I was wondering if anyone would get the reference. Nice catch. https://youtu.be/5M7gijb_1JQ?si=o1YT8lzYDqxEL-pV RIP Jimmy.
My FiL has lived in South Florida his whole life. In the late 70's and early 80's he had a boat and would pick up these air drops in the ocean off the coast of let's say Miami (close enough) and take them to a mainland drop and be paid handsomely. When one drop was kilos of cocaine when he had only ever done cannabis before, and there were folks with automatic weapons at the mainland drop, that was his last freelance run and he "retired".
My father's friend group growing up would meet bush pilots in the Southwest deserts to pick up bricks of cocaine and marijuana. The 70s were wild, man.
My good friends dad did the exact same thing back then
So if it floats he's made of wood. If he weighs the same as a duck, then he's a witch!
Read the title and clicked so fast .. wasn't what I pictured in my head: a bale of cocaine floating in the bay with an eagle riding it like a raft 🦅
I also expected to see some eagles just chilling on a floating bale of cocaine...
This should be the revised Mexico flag 🇲🇽
And it's just an ordinary brown eagle, the head is white because it already found the cocaine
Do you think they search the absolute shit out people that find this stuff and turn it in or just take their word for the amount they found? I’d be fucking terrified to turn that shit in I just feel like some of these “Good Samaritans” pocket a key or two and turn the rest in to make it look like they did the right thing and also get a lifetime supply of the devils dandruff Edit: trying to reply to u/_night_cat about if it goes stale but it won’t let me so here’s what I do know I never had it long enough to find out! As long as it stays dry I assume it’ll keep for a long time. Coke will dissolve in high humidity REAL fast. One time our “guy” came camping with us and wanted to surprise us with a big ass mirror full of lines after a wedding (which took place in the woods hence the camping)…well it was about 90 degrees and 90% humidity and needless to say when he slid that mirror out from under his cabin bed he was horrified to find it had basically all turned into a watery sludge haha. I don’t remember the final outcome of that; he had plenty more to go around, but the look on his face said it all. That part I’ll never forget!
They probably don’t search them. If the person pocketed a small chunk they won’t care if the amount being turned in is big enough I have no idea though
Don't ever talk to cops, especially if you found a large amount of illegal drugs.
First rule of square grouper club….
Get ripped and tell everyone you know?
That’s why they’re called the Keys.
Lived and worked all around there. Just seeing this article headline gave me anxiety. You saw nothing. You know nothing. You don’t know where you are. You were somewhere far away. You never speak of what you never saw.
New movie coming soon "Cocaine Eagles"
Flying high on the yeyo
In other news, boater found dead decapitated with boat on fire. Cocaine missing.
I have family in the keys and can confirm all this. Square groupers are real, and most fishermen will simply let them float on by if they come across them. Key folk aren't big on reporting anything to law enforcement, and these are small towns, so it wouldn't take much for someone to notice a new dealer in town. That leads to headless corpses as the cartels don't fuck around with thieves. Let that shit float.
If I found cocaine with eagles on it no one would know bc I wouldn't be saying shit.
In other news: Record number of boaters this weekend off Islamorada.
The only thing that's going to get me to go to Florida is the thought of hooking into a square grouper.
I live right across the street from the beach in Florida. And I hear stories and news articles about people finding $1 million in cocaine all the time. If I find $1 million in cocaine, if there’s any story at all, it’s gonna be local man finds $200,000 worth of cocaine.
The only story if it was me would be, "Local man has not slept in 4 days."
Leave it. Don’t tell anyone. It just not worth it.
Decades ago, in Los Angeles Harbor, a commercial boat owner and his young deckhand were working on their floating boat in the harbor. Next thing you knew a boat came wizzing by being chased by the Harbor Patrol. Somebody on the speeding boat threw a silver Halliburton, water proof brief case and kept going, still being chased by the Harbor Patrol. The young deckhand looked at the owner and without words took his skiff and motored over to the floating briefcase, grabbed it and came back to the owners boat. They took a good look and nobody was around. They went down in the cabin of the boat, placed the briefcase on the table, and opened it. It had about $2.2 million in it. They didn’t report anything.
[удалено]
[Reverend Horton Heat](https://youtu.be/N07h88o3Dc4?si=g9b5kA7Ol_2QKf6h) knows where they came from.
Fuck yeah. No lie: I was at a tattoo expo that booked Reverend Horton Heat as the evening’s entertainment. But it was on Halloween night and *nobody* wanted to be at a tattoo expo, much less stay late for the concert. It was like having a private show, I think there were 30 people in the audience. And they still gave us a helluva show. God bless Jimbo!
'Bails' came to mind when I read the title too
Had a wash up on the beach when in the navy in Bahamas. Several bales of weed were salvaged by some members of the base.
I would turn that 55 pounds of cocaine right in to the proper authorities!
Yes, the only proper thing to do is hand over the 45 pounds of cocaine.
Why. On earth. Would you tell anyone.
Oh you know, life behind bars if you're caught with it.
What else you gonna do? Call your cartel friend and sell it?
Use to live in the keys and do search and rescue. Had a case where two fine gentleman were fishing and found a kilo floating. One decided to take a bump, the other abstained. Within minutes, the adventurous one was chasing the good guy around the boat with a screwdriver. The guy grabbed the key and jumped overboard to avoid being stabbed. A few minutes later Mr Keybump went full cardiac arrest and collapsed. The second guy climbed back onboard, called us, and we launched a helo for medevac. He died on the way to Jackson Memorial. Moral of the story: Cocaine is incredibly toxic. The pure shit will kill you. Don't fuck with it. To answer the question 8 saw a few times in this thread - yes, finding bales and "square groupers" happens way, WAY more than it's reported to the news. If it's found and the cops are called before anyone else, it doesnt normally make the news - it's handed off to local a Intel unit to run it down.
“Square Groupers” — committing that term to memory. Thank you.
Now we know why their head's are white.
Totally pictured real birds floating on top of these containers.
All I want to know is how does one report this kind of thing without either being arrested and assumed related to a cartel. Or without getting murdered by a cartel when you happen to stumble upon this kind of thing?
If you see packets of cocaine in the water, no you didn’t
The European mind cannot comprehend this
That's the most American coke ever.
>A boater found 65 pounds of cocaine worth an estimated $1 million floating in the Florida Keys, the U.S. Border Patrol said. > >The packages, which had pictures of a bald eagle on the front, were found about 7 miles off Islamorada, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said. Florida's governor likes to call Florida the "freedom state", so the bald eagle branding seems on point. Rumor has it, DeSantis likes to snort a little "freedom" every now and then too... https://i.imgur.com/mAYnjqK.mp4 And, interestingly, due to Florida’s proximity to South America and its status as a high-intensity drug trafficking area, so much cocaine has been found in Florida waters that experts say “cocaine sharks” may be consuming the drugs underwater. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/22/cocaine-sharks-drugs-florida-coast
>cocaine sharks We are gonna need a bigger battery.
But. That’ll make the boat sink faster. /s
That is quite funny
I thought for sure the eagles were standing on the floating cocaine to take a break from flying.
Dang. I remember when a kilo was under 20k.
Hoping he actually found $2 million worth of cocaine but kept half.
Why do people tell others in these scenarios? Like bro
Drop down and get ya eagle on!
Here come the *Cocaine Bear* sequel jokes...
If I found a million dollars worth of cocaine I can guarantee you that no one would hear about it.
So, how does he collect the cash?
The Ol’ Square Grouper
Hey, that’s supposed to be going to the inner city!
I would never turn that in.
That was meant for the White House XD Presidential cocaine
Freedom Cocaine? The criminals know how to appeal to the sensitivities of rural america.
Wow nobody made the joke with decreasing amounts of
American eagles? someone found that CIA white gold. William Burns isn't going to be happy someone dumped his delivery in the ocean.
Sure was lucky of this guy to find $20,000 in cocaine
I'm no hero. If I see a bunch of drugs floating in the water, I didnt see anything at all
Reports indicate the bald Eagle's name is Joe Walsh.
I wonder how many people over history have stumbled upon such packages in the ocean but instead of reporting it to the police their reaction was "I guess I'm a drug dealer now" 🤣 You know the temptation would definitely be high for some people
Can we kill coked up Bald Eagles in Florida now?
Man why do these people tell cops. I'm bout to go hunting on the keys
Cleetus' side business had a bad day.
That's the perfect image of America.
Hypothetically if one were to find several kilos of cocaine… I feel like one of the best cities to locate such a product would be Miami.
I'm sure that Anton Chigurh is looking for 'the boater' as we speak!
I'd love to keep that shit, but I worry about the thought of there being a tracker in one of those bricks. I'd definitely cut the bail apart at minimum to make sure there isn't one stuffed in there.
When we were in Cuba a few years ago, I came across dozens of blue, plastic-wrapped, drug bricks littering the beach on a deserted morning walk. Knowing that possession of drugs in Cuba has severe penalties, even death, I just kept going. Not sure if it was coke or heroin but there was a lot of it, in every direction for a few hundred yards. I’d just read how their Coast Guard or cops in boats or whatever, actually blew up suspected traffickers and there was zero tolerance and even immediate executions for smugglers who were caught. *I suppose I found the results of that, that day. Sometimes I have regrets that I didn’t just grab a brick to sample or mail myself, but that would’ve been crazy. I got freaked out and walked away…* smart decision, no matter the temptation.
You can collect a little finder's fee, but that's Uncle Sam's coke
I often wonder where people get the financial figures on drug cost. Yes, 21 kilos is a large amount, but I have one article saying that a kilo costs about 30k, while another says 52k. So the pricing varies pretty wildly.
Ah yes, the rare and valuable White Lobster. Was on a chartered fishing boat in the Virgin Islands and the captain said, "If we find a white lobster, we're going right back to port." Never did catch one of those elusive white lobsters.