Yea its nice you care for the well being.
But I agree with alot of comments here.
Best you pass his details on to family or police and disengaged otherwise it will only make it worse in the long run
Not sure about the health care options, IMO that's their problem now.
Depending on age, a word with mutual friends or their parents might work. Odds are they'll tell them they're out of line and to back off.
Talking to your local police could be another option. They'll probably get in touch with the ex and the warning might shake them out of it. If not, at least there's history if you need to go further with things like restraining orders and such.
Threats and harassment are matters for the police. No matter where their mental health is, they have no right to behave like this. The police can assess whether a psychiatric referral is necessary.
0800 611 116 is the healthline phone number.
111 if you think they're in imminent danger to harm themselves or others.
Let the professionals deal with this. See what the healthline people say, but you should call 111 if you think they are in imminent danger of doing something stupid like hurting themselves.
Sometimes people act out and threaten self harm as a way to try and get you to come back to them. Don't fall into that trap. Do yourself and them a favour and reach out to either the police to do a welfare check or healthline to see if they have better advice than this.
Personally I wouldn't send a message to their friends and family, I'd leave it with the police to do a welfare check.
"If you think someone is at risk of harm, you can call 111 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department or phone your local [mental health crisis team](https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/services-and-support/health-care-services/mental-health-services/crisis-assessment-teams)"
Call his friends or family. Reacting to something happening in life is not the same as mental illness. If you think he is going to kill himself and his friends/family aren't helping, call the police on him. You are not responsible for his emotions or healing.
Don't deliberate. If you have concerns, call your local community health team immediately. They are a lot more qualified to make a decision as to whether your ex requires an intervention than you are.
Leave it to the experts. Call them straight away.
If you are his ex you are no longer his main support. Reach out kindly to the person who should/could be. His parents, siblings, best friend etc. and explain your concerns and outline the behaviour. Then set the boundaries.
If YOUR safety and privacy continues to be compromised you don’t have many options other than the police since you can’t support him.
This means they understand the need to put support in place, or you need to put boundaries in place.
Then if he continues to push, set the same boundaries with him. You get the help you need or I get the safety I need.
More often than not when given a clear boundary most people settle down and if he doesn’t, DONT FEEL BAD about going to the police.
Either he isn’t in control and needs assistance, or you aren’t safe and this is an appropriate call to make either way.
Police are not the best first responders but they do link in with mental health services- it works better if they are already engaged.
It’s easier to be the bad guy early on than the victim later.
Thanks, appreciate your response. I have set boundaries several times but these haven't been respected. Behaviour has now esculated, hence my concerns over both my safety and ex's mental health. I think I will make enquires with the police as to next steps.
Yea its nice you care for the well being. But I agree with alot of comments here. Best you pass his details on to family or police and disengaged otherwise it will only make it worse in the long run
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I have been leaving them alone. However, their constant threats and harassment of me have become concerning.
Not sure about the health care options, IMO that's their problem now. Depending on age, a word with mutual friends or their parents might work. Odds are they'll tell them they're out of line and to back off. Talking to your local police could be another option. They'll probably get in touch with the ex and the warning might shake them out of it. If not, at least there's history if you need to go further with things like restraining orders and such.
Threats and harassment are matters for the police. No matter where their mental health is, they have no right to behave like this. The police can assess whether a psychiatric referral is necessary.
0800 611 116 is the healthline phone number. 111 if you think they're in imminent danger to harm themselves or others. Let the professionals deal with this. See what the healthline people say, but you should call 111 if you think they are in imminent danger of doing something stupid like hurting themselves. Sometimes people act out and threaten self harm as a way to try and get you to come back to them. Don't fall into that trap. Do yourself and them a favour and reach out to either the police to do a welfare check or healthline to see if they have better advice than this. Personally I wouldn't send a message to their friends and family, I'd leave it with the police to do a welfare check. "If you think someone is at risk of harm, you can call 111 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department or phone your local [mental health crisis team](https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/services-and-support/health-care-services/mental-health-services/crisis-assessment-teams)"
Call his friends or family. Reacting to something happening in life is not the same as mental illness. If you think he is going to kill himself and his friends/family aren't helping, call the police on him. You are not responsible for his emotions or healing.
Don't deliberate. If you have concerns, call your local community health team immediately. They are a lot more qualified to make a decision as to whether your ex requires an intervention than you are. Leave it to the experts. Call them straight away.
If you are his ex you are no longer his main support. Reach out kindly to the person who should/could be. His parents, siblings, best friend etc. and explain your concerns and outline the behaviour. Then set the boundaries. If YOUR safety and privacy continues to be compromised you don’t have many options other than the police since you can’t support him. This means they understand the need to put support in place, or you need to put boundaries in place. Then if he continues to push, set the same boundaries with him. You get the help you need or I get the safety I need. More often than not when given a clear boundary most people settle down and if he doesn’t, DONT FEEL BAD about going to the police. Either he isn’t in control and needs assistance, or you aren’t safe and this is an appropriate call to make either way. Police are not the best first responders but they do link in with mental health services- it works better if they are already engaged. It’s easier to be the bad guy early on than the victim later.
Thanks, appreciate your response. I have set boundaries several times but these haven't been respected. Behaviour has now esculated, hence my concerns over both my safety and ex's mental health. I think I will make enquires with the police as to next steps.
Good call. Don’t feel bad. Your safety is just as important as his.
Just realised I’m assuming genders. Apologies! Either way, take care of yourself!