This has me thinking, let them package thieves have a real gift. Pissed off snake in a box full of bed bugs and scorpions. Although, I'd feel bad for the snake!
Happened to me one night after work with Carl, our resident black snake. Unfortunately the door sits in a shadow and i didn't know until i grabbed the "handle." He had a habit of surprising me then just slithering off like it was no big deal. Freakin Carl.
I almost did haha. Only the week before i had walked up on the porch and he was laying there behind the bushes. Yelled for my dad and he starts telling him to shoo and go on, like he was a dog and he just slithered off. Sure as hell didn't expect him to be back so soon, yet he just slithered off again like it was just normal. Luckily he stopped coming on the porch after the door handle surprise.
Long, long ago, when I was teen, I was on my high school's wrestling team and religiously jogged three miles every other day. One day, I was met by a similar sight to that pictured in this thread, after a run.
Snaky fuck wasn't as thick, nor as frightfully colorful as this hideous beast, but he was big enough and wrapped around the doorway handle of my then family's home.
I yelled a good bit, in frustration, after another spirited 3 mile run and somehow got that snake to fuck off.
Yet, I'll never forget how much that fucker annoyed me, given my hatred of snakes.
🐍Snake Preacher: "'Ssssssscuse me ssssir. Do you have a moment to sssssssspeak about reparationsssssss for our Lord and Sssssavior, who ssssssurvived a vissssscioussssss attack to our home in the Amazon, back in '97 from Icccccce Cube and J-Lo."
🥲 Me, already struggling with everyday life: "Actually, man. This really isn't a good time for me. The followers of Zilla were here last week, and I agreed to adopt a bearded dragon but then they dropped off this fucking 2 foot egg and, dude, I gotta tell you, I'm pretty sure it's just a baby Godzilla. So, I just have a lot going on right now. But, thank you. Sorry."
🐍Snake Preacher: "... Jessssssus Chrisssssst. Thank you for your time, ssssir"
New friend!
Harmless* texas/western rat snake, good to have around for rodent control.
Harmless* The snake can't hurt you, but you can hurt you trying to get away from it.
Ngl, if I saw it I'd probably say "hey sweet custom door handle, ouch" but that's just my bad luck.
That’s one way to keep the door to door evangelists away.
Snake: How you like them apples?
“No sssoliccciting.”
Lmaooooo!!! This whole thread was awesome
No expert but that looks like a Texas Rat Snake. So harmless. But terrifying.
Yep, looks like a grumpy one too. He thinks that’s *his* house! They are fantastic natural pest control though. Good snakes to have around!
I wonder what they eat.
Texans
Frequently they eat venomous snakes, they are good dudes to have around
Ah, an anti-danger noodle!
It is really beautiful :D
Still nope
Does your house by any chance have a chamber with secrets in it?
🤣🤣🤣
That’s just a rat snake. Harmless pest control
This has me thinking, let them package thieves have a real gift. Pissed off snake in a box full of bed bugs and scorpions. Although, I'd feel bad for the snake!
It's the bedbugs that scare the hell out of me.
Yeah I'll take a non venomous snake bite over bed bugs *any* day
Happened to me one night after work with Carl, our resident black snake. Unfortunately the door sits in a shadow and i didn't know until i grabbed the "handle." He had a habit of surprising me then just slithering off like it was no big deal. Freakin Carl.
I would die
I almost did haha. Only the week before i had walked up on the porch and he was laying there behind the bushes. Yelled for my dad and he starts telling him to shoo and go on, like he was a dog and he just slithered off. Sure as hell didn't expect him to be back so soon, yet he just slithered off again like it was just normal. Luckily he stopped coming on the porch after the door handle surprise.
Door to door salesmen, mormons and the like all welcome
This is an angry noodle, not a danger noodle. Keep him around. You will have fewer pests.
Average Australian door greeter
Do Not DiSSSSsssstuuurb.
Why are all my packages delivered to the bottom of the steps? Damn delivery people, put the package in front of the door!
We had devil's doorbell, now we have devil's door handle
Long, long ago, when I was teen, I was on my high school's wrestling team and religiously jogged three miles every other day. One day, I was met by a similar sight to that pictured in this thread, after a run. Snaky fuck wasn't as thick, nor as frightfully colorful as this hideous beast, but he was big enough and wrapped around the doorway handle of my then family's home. I yelled a good bit, in frustration, after another spirited 3 mile run and somehow got that snake to fuck off. Yet, I'll never forget how much that fucker annoyed me, given my hatred of snakes.
... where's uh... where's the doorbell?
Is this Gaunts house from Harry Potter ?
NO!
It’s just saying hello
Why do they go this? Like I understand curling up in mailboxes but why the door handle?
Welcome to Slytherin.
Sock on the door don’t come in. Scaley sock on door? “sssswelcome!”.
Package to be installed: parseltongue
You can tell the home owner is a Slytherin
I need one of those, I’m so sick of religious and political solicitors banging relentlessly on my door and doing so like they’re using a hammer.
No.
Damn the interwebs let me down this morning, not a single Harry Potter comment or Slytherin quip
Demons live here.
Just wait for him to go away.
That doorknob looks weird
He's just waiting for the passsssssssss-word.
"Do it you pussy. I dare you."
Wow... That's the most effective "do not disturb" sign I've ever seen.
🐍Snake Preacher: "'Ssssssscuse me ssssir. Do you have a moment to sssssssspeak about reparationsssssss for our Lord and Sssssavior, who ssssssurvived a vissssscioussssss attack to our home in the Amazon, back in '97 from Icccccce Cube and J-Lo." 🥲 Me, already struggling with everyday life: "Actually, man. This really isn't a good time for me. The followers of Zilla were here last week, and I agreed to adopt a bearded dragon but then they dropped off this fucking 2 foot egg and, dude, I gotta tell you, I'm pretty sure it's just a baby Godzilla. So, I just have a lot going on right now. But, thank you. Sorry." 🐍Snake Preacher: "... Jessssssus Chrisssssst. Thank you for your time, ssssir"
New friend! Harmless* texas/western rat snake, good to have around for rodent control. Harmless* The snake can't hurt you, but you can hurt you trying to get away from it.
guess they aren't home
Is fren
Awe he's just trying to get the door for ya
No one: Australia:
Solicitors probably get the message rather quickly
Just whack it with a chancla
They don't deserve that. They're good guys