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Accomplished-Bee650

I’m a carpenter by trade but am a site superintendent now. All I can say is that you are making a great decision by going to trade school and will be making great money within a couple of years in any specialized trade. Good luck! You’ve got this!


brook1yn

Sorry but out of cursorily, what’s the going rate for a good carpenter these days?


Accomplished-Bee650

I don’t want to answer that because it varies greatly based on specialization, location, Union vs non union, self employed vs. employed, whether carpentry requires a license in your state, etc. I would highly suggest looking into electrical or plumbing before pursuing a career in carpentry. In my area, plumbers and electricians make 2-4x what carpenters do, and the work is generally much easier on the body.


brook1yn

What does an electrician make in that case?


jeconti

With your wife no longer working, you may qualify for various assistance programs. Don't be prideful if you qualify. Your taxes paid into those programs from the day you started working. You have every right to use your share.


kitten_mittens5000

I’m sure you’ve done the math and all with your debt. But don’t stretch yourself so thin that you don’t have an emergency fund. Debt is not the end of the world and it’s ok if it takes a bit longer to pay it off. You need to also be saving money right now and using all of it towards paying off debt may not be a good idea. Babies come with surprise expenses and you also need to not live completely desolate. Unless your debt is credit card balances with crazy high rates, it might not be worth it to work so hard to pay it off instantly. This is a brief moment in time in your lives. It will be over before you know it. Your wife will be able to go back to work eventually (if that works out with your finances and childcare costs) and you will have a better job. Plus, there are a lot of things you can do for free that don’t cost money. But it’s ok to have a meal out every now and then. Good luck! Edit: it’s so important to have your wife be on the same page with the finances too. You really shouldn’t constantly be telling her no she can’t buy things. She needs to have a spending budget for her (whatever that amount is) and be able to make her own decisions on personal items she wants to buy. Again, maybe the amount is only 30$ per week but she needs to not only be on board with the budgeting but also have her own autonomy since she doesn’t have an income anymore.


sixshooterspagooter

I have a job I like right now, I applied for one that paid almost double but I didnt really want that job. I think that attitude came off in the interview and I wasnt offered the spot. I feel like if i needed it i would have been all in and maybe had more success. Im not saying you need a new job or that you dont make enough money, all im saying is we can manifest our outcomes in life by how we think about it. I was with you in this pregnancy phase, worried about money. Its really easy to fall into that thinking with all the waiting. All that went away when little one arrived. Its hard as hell, and im just trying to make it by each day. That said, this first few months, one of the hardest things ive done in my life, but its been such an amazing and incredible experience and ive seen myself and my relationship with my new family grow in an incredible way. Your gona be a dad, you dont have to be perfect at it as long as you stick at it and mostly just use love. Love is free.


pisspantsing

My favourite use of love is when I have so much of it that I manifest a big steak dinner, and use the rest to pay my bills and buy diapers.


DarkMimic2287

You should look to your community on Facebook. There are a lot of buy nothing or parent groups that reuse stuff for free. You can start grabbing stuff anyone puts on offer.


FlintCowboy

The most important thing in life is to find happiness and fulfillment alongside your loved ones. I understand that money can be tough and quite stressful for most of us "normies." But here's an idea that might help: why not sit down together and come up with a shared budget and plan? It could make a significant difference. Do it in the morning, not at night when you’re both tired lol. And hey, you don't always need to spend money to have a good time! Have you guys discovered a nearby park or a beautiful creek? Maybe there's a scenic hiking trail waiting to be explored. Another idea is to learn how to cook together. It can be a fantastic hobby that not only saves you money by eating at home but also allows you to bond while mastering new recipes. Just remember, life is all about embracing creativity and adapting to change. Mom and you are both going through transformations, but don't let financial worries drag you down. Everything will be okay! (hope that was helpful, sorry for the shot post if not) GL.


goldenbabydaddy

There are a lot of signs in this post that maybe your wife doesn’t understand the situation here? You are living paycheck to paycheck and extremely financially stressed. Do you have a rainy day fund? What is your debt level? Your wife asking if she can get something at the store and you saying no because of a budget — you don’t seem to realize how toxic and terrible that situation is. You both need to be on the same page about your finances, like yesterday. It sounds like she needs a wake-up call. You can’t continue this. I worry sometimes that a dude trying to be the Man and provide also obscures the financial reality and the other partner doesn’t understand just how tight things are. ”it’s up to me to make it right” - you know how people say “toxic masculinity” and it sounds like SJW bs? This is what they actually mean. It’s not up to you! You two are a team you have to be in this together. Maybe she can’t work but she has to be on the side of making it right. That aside there are two options: increase your income or decrease your expenses. Maybe post on r/personalfinance. Is there truly absolutely no worthwhile job she could do, even something remote and from home? Honestly not working these days is just not an option for most people without being totally stretched thin.


vkapadia

Have you tried looking for activities that don't require much money? If she just needs to get out of the house and wants to spend some time with you on your days off, look for that


Lurkingguy1

Holy crap almost the same exact situation including the time and age. Finances will be very tight but We partied and went out for many years before this so luckily were both content with staying in (but who knows when baby comes)… Make sure she has a big registry and try to get baby stuff on like Facebook marketplace etc. as it’s way cheaper. Also there is some government assistance (Wish or Wisk) that looks at income to expenses that you can get some supplies. finally; there is a baby hotline you can call and a consultant will give you advice (you can google it)


Megrrrs

/r/frugal It can be hard to make more income but perhaps you could cut back in some ways to help add to your extra income bucket.


Cheeetooos

I recommend YNAB to anyone stressing about money. It’s got a bit of a learning curve but their app and process have changed my relationship with money completely, especially because of the clarity it provides for where I stand financially.


ForwardCrow9291

This sounds very stressful OP, but you sound like you're already moving in the right direction. Trying to increase your income through trade school is a great idea. You might also try shopping around for jobs in your field that may pay more in the interim. You _could_ do some gig work or try to pick up overtime, but I don't recommend it if you can avoid it. As others have said, you should also sit down with your wife and determine a budget that works. Make sure savings are included in the budget- having reserve funds for emergencies or other unexpected spending really eases the stress of the moment-to-moment "can we buy this?" decisions. Try to get your money into at least a credit union savings account. You can get $30/year in interest for every $1000 you save there. Not a ton, but as you save more, could wipe out a utility bill or some subscriptions. Also pay down any high interest debt (and consider refinancing or consolidating to a personal loan or balance transfer card w/ 0% promotional APR). If you have a car that is above water w/ a high payment, consider trading in for something with a more modest monthly payment. Shop around for insurance, phone plans, Internet, etc. & Cancel any subscriptions you're not getting value from. Netflix is like $150 a year now, which is a lot of you're not getting value from it. Finally- get creative with going out. You can go to the park or a nature trail for free. You can visit family. You can pack a picnic. You can donate blood for movie tickets haha.


kitten_mittens5000

Just commenting to say high yield savings accounts are going for 4-5% APR right now. Lots of options to get good rates on savings. Good place to store your money that you need quick access to. Most should have no fees.


therealjamberrz

Hey man, you got this. My wife left her job a couple months ago and I work in fast food. We’re paying off two credit cards and a car and I’m paying for college and we’re still coming up in the positives every month. Just some encouragement for you, enjoy this time because you will never get it back!


woopdedoodah

Going out is free. Why would you spend money to leave the house? There's plenty of open space and a night walking around downtown is free.


MyTFABAccount

Using YNAB has been really helpful for us. We see where all the money is going/it all has a “job” I would hope your wife understands why you can’t go out and spend money. Summer is a great time for free experiences such as outdoor concerts at community events.