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Having so much sex you feel gross about it may be a good reason to bring it up in therapy. Hypersexuality is a frequent response to rape, and a good sign to work through the effects of the experience.
A book I’ve seen recommended but haven’t gotten around to reading is The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz. Another book is Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, not directly sexual assault related, but has a ton of good sex education that most of us have never received!
From someone who was also raped, I used to be hyper sexual from the age of 11-16 and I was with my ex boyfriend between 13-16 and I used to have sex with him almost everyday and the first time we did it, I didn’t feel much of anything. We were both virgins (15 when we did it) and I didn’t feel much of anything so I didn’t moan at all and he asked me about it afterwards and after that I faked all of my moans every time we did it so he wouldn’t ask about it. When we would do foreplay I would get turned on, but as soon as we started having sex, I didn’t feel horny or anything at all. There were only a few times where I felt a lot of love for him because it was super intimate, but I never really felt pleased or horny. I also NEVER finished/came during/after sex, I never once finished at all. After my ex raped me a couple of times I stopped being horny or getting turned on at all and cried anytime he did it and it felt awful. I’m now coming to the conclusion that i’m most likely Asexual (it means I don’t enjoy anything sexual, or feel sexual attraction) since I don’t enjoy anything sex related anymore. I also never really liked Masturbating from 11-13 because it just didn’t feel like much so I stopped even trying to masturbate as soon as I got with my ex, as well as consuming any kind of porn and I still don’t do either one to this day (i’m 17 now, goin on 18) and any kind of sexual content makes me uncomfortable. So, maybe you could be Ace or something but i’m not one to say for sure.
I’m sorry to hear about ur story and I definitely resonate a lot. Everything has always been performative. It’s always been about the intimacy and love for me when I enjoyed it. I never really thought about asexuality but thank you for bringing that up. I definitely can feel sexual attraction but it was only ever with the only ex that I truly loved and who loved me back/ made me feel safe. Probably the only man I’ve ever really trusted. Maybe demisexual? Idk but this is def something to explore thanks sm for sharing.
I literally feel the exact same way. I also lost my virginity to rape and penetration was very painful for a long time.
Taking anxiety/depression medication actually helped a lot. I started orgasming regularly while on medication but only from oral sex, not penetration. I still don’t enjoy penetration but talk to a psychiatrist (and of course your therapist). There are other methods to increase your libido.
I was literally about to make a post asking the SAME question. I stopped taking anxiety meds due to unexpected weight gain but not everyone has the same side effects. So I’m struggling with orgasming again. I lost my virginity at 20. I’m now 27, have had A LOT of sex, but now I’ve seemed to lost interest in having sex at all. I’m going to talk about it with my therapist and explore other medication.
I understand what you mean about getting horny but not enjoying sex. We will get better and I think taking a break from men and exploring more with toys has helped me. Just give yourself grace and don’t be afraid to seek help. Lowered libido is perfectly fine to bring up with your doctor as well.
Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages or private chat requests from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings in order to prevent this from happening, [you can find the instructions here](https://new.reddit.com/settings/messaging) There is also a handy guide which gives even more instructions as to the additional adjustments that you can make to your settings, if you want to, which further restricts these creeps ability in being able to contact you or harass you, [they can be found here.](https://new.reddit.com/user/TheYellowRose/comments/t9vf6j/things_you_can_do_to_avoid_creeps_and_harassment/) If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rapecounseling) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I also don’t know if this is something worth bringing up in therapy or not
everything is worth bringing up in therapy, you’re not broken at all
Having so much sex you feel gross about it may be a good reason to bring it up in therapy. Hypersexuality is a frequent response to rape, and a good sign to work through the effects of the experience. A book I’ve seen recommended but haven’t gotten around to reading is The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz. Another book is Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, not directly sexual assault related, but has a ton of good sex education that most of us have never received!
Do you get aroused at all?
Yea but it’s more mental than physical
I feel the same, but I get in the mood pleasing someone else more than them pleasing me
i feel the exact same way
[удалено]
I wish it wasn’t real…. Although there are disgusting people that scroll through these and message because of their kinks
[удалено]
Invalidation of others experience will be not be tolerated.
Invalidation of others experience will be not be tolerated.
[удалено]
So true and that fact does help a bit but it’s definitely deeper than just toys alone is what I’m getting at
From someone who was also raped, I used to be hyper sexual from the age of 11-16 and I was with my ex boyfriend between 13-16 and I used to have sex with him almost everyday and the first time we did it, I didn’t feel much of anything. We were both virgins (15 when we did it) and I didn’t feel much of anything so I didn’t moan at all and he asked me about it afterwards and after that I faked all of my moans every time we did it so he wouldn’t ask about it. When we would do foreplay I would get turned on, but as soon as we started having sex, I didn’t feel horny or anything at all. There were only a few times where I felt a lot of love for him because it was super intimate, but I never really felt pleased or horny. I also NEVER finished/came during/after sex, I never once finished at all. After my ex raped me a couple of times I stopped being horny or getting turned on at all and cried anytime he did it and it felt awful. I’m now coming to the conclusion that i’m most likely Asexual (it means I don’t enjoy anything sexual, or feel sexual attraction) since I don’t enjoy anything sex related anymore. I also never really liked Masturbating from 11-13 because it just didn’t feel like much so I stopped even trying to masturbate as soon as I got with my ex, as well as consuming any kind of porn and I still don’t do either one to this day (i’m 17 now, goin on 18) and any kind of sexual content makes me uncomfortable. So, maybe you could be Ace or something but i’m not one to say for sure.
I’m sorry to hear about ur story and I definitely resonate a lot. Everything has always been performative. It’s always been about the intimacy and love for me when I enjoyed it. I never really thought about asexuality but thank you for bringing that up. I definitely can feel sexual attraction but it was only ever with the only ex that I truly loved and who loved me back/ made me feel safe. Probably the only man I’ve ever really trusted. Maybe demisexual? Idk but this is def something to explore thanks sm for sharing.
I literally feel the exact same way. I also lost my virginity to rape and penetration was very painful for a long time. Taking anxiety/depression medication actually helped a lot. I started orgasming regularly while on medication but only from oral sex, not penetration. I still don’t enjoy penetration but talk to a psychiatrist (and of course your therapist). There are other methods to increase your libido. I was literally about to make a post asking the SAME question. I stopped taking anxiety meds due to unexpected weight gain but not everyone has the same side effects. So I’m struggling with orgasming again. I lost my virginity at 20. I’m now 27, have had A LOT of sex, but now I’ve seemed to lost interest in having sex at all. I’m going to talk about it with my therapist and explore other medication. I understand what you mean about getting horny but not enjoying sex. We will get better and I think taking a break from men and exploring more with toys has helped me. Just give yourself grace and don’t be afraid to seek help. Lowered libido is perfectly fine to bring up with your doctor as well.