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I was assaulted but not raped. I told my dad, he was upset. I remember telling him while he was driving which in hindsight not a great idea, and I can still see the way he white knuckled the steering wheel and clenched his jaw. He said he knew something had happened that night (I had called him to pick me up after it happened).
We got him and he hugged me. He was definitely more overprotective after that. We did a therapy session together where we talked over what happened. He felt guilt he couldn’t protect me, and also that he didn’t ask earlier if I was ok since he had a feeling on that night I was off. I told him being there to come get me was enough, and if he had pushed I wouldn’t have told him anyway because I hadn’t accepted it myself.
I’m fully out as a lesbian now which is a good thing because if I was into men I imagine he would be distrustful of any guy I brought home. Not that woman can’t be predators but my assaulter was a man. Pretty much everyone in my immediate family knows, I’m extremely luckily to have such a great support system. I think if you have a good relationship with your dad, telling him will be ok. It might actually help both of you a lot.
I didn’t tell him because I know he would have made some comments about if I was asking for it, and then it would just be the elephant in the room whilst we never speak about it again.
He didn't believe me, when I was assaulted as a kid, raped as a teen, and raped as an adult. The last time I told him he said statisticlly it was unlikely that someone would be assaulted so much without asking for it or doing something to encourage it, and asked if I was just confused as to what happened.
When I experienced intimate partner violence that included sexual assault, I didn't bother telling him. I went to my friend's and they helped me get away instead.
He didn't believe me. He said that I was clearly looking for attention and "that kind of thing doesn't happen to normal people" whatever the fuck that means. And that if "that sort of thing was happening, you would have told me at the time" while ignoring that I was a scared child who didn't have the language skills or comprehension to understand what was happening to me let alone tell someone.
He later changed his mind to and said "I believe that YOU believe it happened and it's affecting you, but I don't believe that it actually happened. It's just a nightmare you convinced yourself was real" which is honestly worse. Either I'm attention seeking or I'm straight up delusional lmaoooo
Wow my mom said the same thing when I told her my stepdad had assaulted me when I was younger. She said “I believe that you believe it happened , are you sure you didn’t misunderstand” then she went back to “I’m sorry you’re going through this”
But since then she still talks to and seems to date my stepdad which I always knew she would. I haven’t told her all these years because I was scared she wouldn’t do anything or actively take his side and she has kind of ignored it and telling the other people in the family I ran away for no reason and I’m ungrateful because I don’t keep in close contact with anyone from the family anymore or barely visit
Step-father who came into my life when I was 12. He is my *dad*.
Initial reaction- He held me while I cried. He went out and got all my favorite foods. He watched the dumb movies I wanted to watch. He found me a therapist and took me to my appointments (both therapy and medical for injuries related). Advocated for me at said appointments. When I had nightmares he would stay up with me. He started working out with me and woke up at 6 am to do so. Went on LONG walks every day to talk about how I felt about my rape or literally anything else.
Long term- He blamed himself for a long time and became over protective. I eventually understood this and told him it wasn’t his fault.
Now- We have a very healthy relationship and he still fiercely supports me. He’s always there for me. Im very grateful. He saved my life in many ways.
It was my dad.
Decades later in therapy when I confronted him about him having raped me as a child he said, "That sounds terrible. We should find out who did that to you."
i haven’t told him. not because he wouldn’t support me. i just know it would break his heart. and i don’t want him to see me like that. i don’t want him to have to imagine what that boy did to me. a part of me also thinks he’d blame me a little and tell me “that’s why you never hang out with boys”. but idk.
My dad blamed me. I was then raped by another person and I can’t tell him this time. I still love my dad, but I think he was upset and didn’t know how to handle it.
His mom was raped. My mom was raped. My step mom was raped, and both of my siblings were also raped. I think he was probably also in pain hearing me tell him, and he more than likely didn’t mean to say it, but it still hurt when I think about it.
He had no reaction when he found out about the abuse my older cousin put me through. Never came to check on me. He and my mom left me alone in my room the night that they found out because my older sister had told them after I told her. I was blamed for “causing drama” and “tearing the family apart”. My sister was my only real support. He still has never mentioned a word about it or my PTSD when I was diagnosed. I don’t know if it’s for a lack of caring or maybe because he is uncomfortable but some support for me would have been nice. I was 14 years old and had to find the courage to tell my school counselor and police by myself because my family refused. They made it as difficult as possible for police to investigate.
Mine happened 10 years ago I was roughly 31.
Took me about 4 months to tell my mom. When I mentioned about it on the phone to dad (we live in different states) he asked me when I got triggered and asked him to stop talking “how much of that is your fault”
Then he lied to my mom and said the conversation was if it was in a court of law that I would be to blame somehow
I am very low contact with the old coot and thank goodness he’s basically deaf.
We used to be so close but my mom and sister think ever since he had a medical procedure and had a blood clot and lost oxygen that he’s kinda been out of whack in weird ways and this is one of them
It sucks
My dad was apparently really angry when my mum called him to tell him on the phone when he’d just got to work. Him and my mum drove to come to see me straight away and he was trying to force me to go to the police but I didn’t want to, it had literally happened the day before and I couldn’t even think about any of that. But my dad did say something to me which I’ll never forget… he said “it’s not like you ever wear any revealing clothes” like he was trying to understand why it happened and from that he clearly thinks that if a girl is wearing revealing clothing it somehow justifies or is at least a reason as to why it happened. I’ve never asked him what he meant by this and didn’t challenge him at the time as I was in complete shock
My father would road rage, pull other drivers out of their cars to beat them up. But when I said my mom's boyfriend raped me and he's in the house right now 10 feet away, he just said "oh."
“What we’re you thinking!?” Is what he chose to say to me when the police dropped me home after my statement and examination. Then he offered to go get some food for me which he did, then left and I’ve not spoken to nor set eyes on him since.
My father left the room while i was in the middle of telling him what happened. when i was assaulted a few years later, he wouldn’t acknowledge it at all. Didn’t speak a word to me about any of it since i mentioned it.
It was a mixed response i guess? My stepdad was initially very angry, and said if he had known what had happened at the time, my rapist wouldn't have left the house alive (It happened while my parents were home, I didn't tell them until months later). He comforted me as well. But then he also has a hard time understanding mental illness, because of his own, very positive outlook on life. My pre-existing depression and anxiety got worse after the assault, and i developed ptsd. He doesn't understand how after several years and a lot of therapy it still has such an impact on my life. He basically tells me to get my shit together and to be "normal". Now I rarely talk to him about it, or to my mom when he's in the room because of this. It sucks tbh
He asked me if I was “damaged on the inside”.
Which adds up, because he also raped me repeatedly throughout my childhood and probably still believes that my body is “his”.
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haven’t told mine yet and i probably never will
I was assaulted but not raped. I told my dad, he was upset. I remember telling him while he was driving which in hindsight not a great idea, and I can still see the way he white knuckled the steering wheel and clenched his jaw. He said he knew something had happened that night (I had called him to pick me up after it happened). We got him and he hugged me. He was definitely more overprotective after that. We did a therapy session together where we talked over what happened. He felt guilt he couldn’t protect me, and also that he didn’t ask earlier if I was ok since he had a feeling on that night I was off. I told him being there to come get me was enough, and if he had pushed I wouldn’t have told him anyway because I hadn’t accepted it myself. I’m fully out as a lesbian now which is a good thing because if I was into men I imagine he would be distrustful of any guy I brought home. Not that woman can’t be predators but my assaulter was a man. Pretty much everyone in my immediate family knows, I’m extremely luckily to have such a great support system. I think if you have a good relationship with your dad, telling him will be ok. It might actually help both of you a lot.
I didn’t tell him because I know he would have made some comments about if I was asking for it, and then it would just be the elephant in the room whilst we never speak about it again.
He blamed me.
I'm so sorry he did that. He should have comforted and helped you.
You really didn’t deserve that. It’s not your fault. Don’t buy into any of that thinking. I’m so sorry he reacted that way.
He didn't believe me, when I was assaulted as a kid, raped as a teen, and raped as an adult. The last time I told him he said statisticlly it was unlikely that someone would be assaulted so much without asking for it or doing something to encourage it, and asked if I was just confused as to what happened. When I experienced intimate partner violence that included sexual assault, I didn't bother telling him. I went to my friend's and they helped me get away instead.
Do we have the same father?
He didn't believe me. He said that I was clearly looking for attention and "that kind of thing doesn't happen to normal people" whatever the fuck that means. And that if "that sort of thing was happening, you would have told me at the time" while ignoring that I was a scared child who didn't have the language skills or comprehension to understand what was happening to me let alone tell someone. He later changed his mind to and said "I believe that YOU believe it happened and it's affecting you, but I don't believe that it actually happened. It's just a nightmare you convinced yourself was real" which is honestly worse. Either I'm attention seeking or I'm straight up delusional lmaoooo
Wow my mom said the same thing when I told her my stepdad had assaulted me when I was younger. She said “I believe that you believe it happened , are you sure you didn’t misunderstand” then she went back to “I’m sorry you’re going through this” But since then she still talks to and seems to date my stepdad which I always knew she would. I haven’t told her all these years because I was scared she wouldn’t do anything or actively take his side and she has kind of ignored it and telling the other people in the family I ran away for no reason and I’m ungrateful because I don’t keep in close contact with anyone from the family anymore or barely visit
Step-father who came into my life when I was 12. He is my *dad*. Initial reaction- He held me while I cried. He went out and got all my favorite foods. He watched the dumb movies I wanted to watch. He found me a therapist and took me to my appointments (both therapy and medical for injuries related). Advocated for me at said appointments. When I had nightmares he would stay up with me. He started working out with me and woke up at 6 am to do so. Went on LONG walks every day to talk about how I felt about my rape or literally anything else. Long term- He blamed himself for a long time and became over protective. I eventually understood this and told him it wasn’t his fault. Now- We have a very healthy relationship and he still fiercely supports me. He’s always there for me. Im very grateful. He saved my life in many ways.
Amazing. So glad he was there for you as a father should be!
I’m very lucky to have him as a dad and to have such a strong support system. :)
I love hearing stories about awesome dads. They exist!
It was my dad. Decades later in therapy when I confronted him about him having raped me as a child he said, "That sounds terrible. We should find out who did that to you."
Wow. I’m just sorry to hear that and I hope you’re finding healing
I know I'm not alone and I am finding healing, thank you 💗
He called me broken goods 🥲
i haven’t told him. not because he wouldn’t support me. i just know it would break his heart. and i don’t want him to see me like that. i don’t want him to have to imagine what that boy did to me. a part of me also thinks he’d blame me a little and tell me “that’s why you never hang out with boys”. but idk.
I’m lucky. He said he’d kill him if he ever got the chance.
My dad blamed me. I was then raped by another person and I can’t tell him this time. I still love my dad, but I think he was upset and didn’t know how to handle it. His mom was raped. My mom was raped. My step mom was raped, and both of my siblings were also raped. I think he was probably also in pain hearing me tell him, and he more than likely didn’t mean to say it, but it still hurt when I think about it.
He was very disappointed but supportive.
He had no reaction when he found out about the abuse my older cousin put me through. Never came to check on me. He and my mom left me alone in my room the night that they found out because my older sister had told them after I told her. I was blamed for “causing drama” and “tearing the family apart”. My sister was my only real support. He still has never mentioned a word about it or my PTSD when I was diagnosed. I don’t know if it’s for a lack of caring or maybe because he is uncomfortable but some support for me would have been nice. I was 14 years old and had to find the courage to tell my school counselor and police by myself because my family refused. They made it as difficult as possible for police to investigate.
i don’t talk to my father.. soooo yeah
It's been super uncomfortable ever since. Wish he didnt know
Mine happened 10 years ago I was roughly 31. Took me about 4 months to tell my mom. When I mentioned about it on the phone to dad (we live in different states) he asked me when I got triggered and asked him to stop talking “how much of that is your fault” Then he lied to my mom and said the conversation was if it was in a court of law that I would be to blame somehow I am very low contact with the old coot and thank goodness he’s basically deaf. We used to be so close but my mom and sister think ever since he had a medical procedure and had a blood clot and lost oxygen that he’s kinda been out of whack in weird ways and this is one of them It sucks
He'll never find out because I don't want to have to visit my dad in jail.
My dad was apparently really angry when my mum called him to tell him on the phone when he’d just got to work. Him and my mum drove to come to see me straight away and he was trying to force me to go to the police but I didn’t want to, it had literally happened the day before and I couldn’t even think about any of that. But my dad did say something to me which I’ll never forget… he said “it’s not like you ever wear any revealing clothes” like he was trying to understand why it happened and from that he clearly thinks that if a girl is wearing revealing clothing it somehow justifies or is at least a reason as to why it happened. I’ve never asked him what he meant by this and didn’t challenge him at the time as I was in complete shock
He blamed me for it
I never told him because there was nothing he could do and it didn't feel necessary to see him sad about it.
My father would road rage, pull other drivers out of their cars to beat them up. But when I said my mom's boyfriend raped me and he's in the house right now 10 feet away, he just said "oh."
I didn't tell my father because I'm afraid to ruin his relationship with his family (it was a relative).
“What we’re you thinking!?” Is what he chose to say to me when the police dropped me home after my statement and examination. Then he offered to go get some food for me which he did, then left and I’ve not spoken to nor set eyes on him since.
My father left the room while i was in the middle of telling him what happened. when i was assaulted a few years later, he wouldn’t acknowledge it at all. Didn’t speak a word to me about any of it since i mentioned it.
It was my father 👍
It was a mixed response i guess? My stepdad was initially very angry, and said if he had known what had happened at the time, my rapist wouldn't have left the house alive (It happened while my parents were home, I didn't tell them until months later). He comforted me as well. But then he also has a hard time understanding mental illness, because of his own, very positive outlook on life. My pre-existing depression and anxiety got worse after the assault, and i developed ptsd. He doesn't understand how after several years and a lot of therapy it still has such an impact on my life. He basically tells me to get my shit together and to be "normal". Now I rarely talk to him about it, or to my mom when he's in the room because of this. It sucks tbh
He asked me if I was “damaged on the inside”. Which adds up, because he also raped me repeatedly throughout my childhood and probably still believes that my body is “his”.
He told me "well that's what happens when you drink and are around other drunk people" We no longer speak to each other 🙂
“Wtf” was the first response I got in text after I told him