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I was sick for about 4 days this spring (first illness since January 2020 - the streak was broken!) and while my husband kept his distance a bit so he wouldn't catch it, he brought me soup, meds, ginger ale, the extra soft Kleenex, etc. He checked on me and made sure I had blankets for my couch fort lol. He did not, however, pester me for sex. Not sure if it's because he's a decent human being or wasn't turned on by me blowing my nose or a little bit of column A, little bit of column B.
Also, we both used to travel for work regularly and sometimes there was overlap where we didn't see each other for about a week which meant...no sex. We dealt with it and had happy reunions once we were in the same place. This is life sometimes!
I spent 14 years of my marriage stuck in bed seriously chronically ill 4-5 days a week, and my husband not only didn't make me feel bad for not being able to have sex as much as he'd like too, he also paid extremely close attention when we were able to be intimate and stopped the moment he could tell I was in pain without making me feel guilty, or even having to tell him I was hurting.
Girl, you deserve so much better. Ditch this selfish guy and find somebody who treats you as well as you treat them. Life is too short to waste it on self-centered jerks.
That's my 1.9 cents.
This goes without saying, or so I thought! My bad for thinking we were supposed to care what our partners actually want.
I can't imagine pressuring my partner into sex they don't want with me while they feel like crap. How would that be fun,m
You are not dating a good person. A good person sees a sick person and thinks, I feel so bad they’re sick…what can I do to help?
Then they proceed to do things like bring you soup and ginger ale and run to the store for more tissues and cough medicine. You would do that for anyone..a friend, a neighbor, but most especially YOUR GIRLFRIEND. He could not care less about you and you absolutely deserve better.
Man. It’s not that I’ve been in a whole lot of *really* abusive relationships or anything like that, but I’ve been in such disappointing ones. It would be nice to experience what you are describing here. Even though intellectually I understand it’s the most basic level most people should set their bar for a partner.
Yes, you do. No sex for four days should not have anybody acting like a complete ass. From what I have gathered he's the selfish one. I would not accept this type of behavior. Dump that chump!
I agree with this. As someone who has been with their partner for almost 9 years married for 1. I go through dry periods a lot. The most recent one was last year when I got pregnant and we didn’t have sex for months and my husband never complained. If your partner truly loves you, they would not say you’re selfish for not wanting to be intimate with them. They would find other ways to connect with you. Op you deserve better.
And this is only you being ill for 4 days. Can you imagine if you got cancer or something? This man would either leave you, cheat on you, or make your life a misery without a second thought.
It’s sad that your comment is actually true when it comes to cancer/illness/pregnancy. They say a man acts more single when it comes down to shit like this 😔
Kiddo the only answer seems clear. You need to dump this little boy, because that's exactly what he is acting like. A little boy who is pouting because he isn't getting his way
OP not only does he not care for you but he expects you to care for his every whim.
You're a maid, cook, launder, on top of something to dip his stick in any time he pleases whether you want to or not.
You don't need an excuse. You just need to say NO and it should be respected, ALWAYS!
Please respect yourself and treat yourself better than this.
My wife and I go weeks sometimes, because we have kids, and both work so between everything going on, it's not always the right time to do it. He is being immature and selfish. If he really cared about you, he would accept it and offer to try to make you feel better rather than try to guilt you into it
Absolutely!! If he truly cared about her, he wouldn't want her to have sex if she didn't want it, and especially not if she was feeling miserable the whole time! This speaks to a disturbing lack of empathy.
Get well.
Continue to say “no” to your selfish & thoughtless partner. He’s not a decent person.
Cough on him (or his toothbrush), Hope he gets whatever you have and has to deal with it by himself.
Dump this poor excuse of a bf.
So you are sick, you are doing all the chores without help from the male in the home and I presume are working?
I was waiting for you to say he at least wanted a bj whether you can breath or not.
Him acting like a pouting 4 year old is decidedly the opposite of sexy.
Suggestion is let this one go back into the dating pool and take care of yourself.
Yea...is that all he wants out of your relationship is daily sexcapades? Sounds like that's all he cares about. I normally don't jump to the "leave him" thing, but this one I am jumping there. You deserve much better than that, OP!
OP, let’s see what we’ve got here:
1) He doesn’t care how you physically feel
2) He is not even helping to clean up while you are sick - that doesn’t bode well for an equitable chore distribution
3) He is acting life a selfish, immature child and his response is ridiculous.
4) He has forgotten he can take care of himself
5) He is sexually pressuring you and not wanting to take no for an answer.
OP you may want to look out for other red flags. Yes, this is a red flag. His behavior can indicate other red flag issues.
Take care of yourself (clearly he won’t help).
Hope you feel better soon.
Edit: had forgotten to type #5 which I feel is incredibly important as it shows no respect for your bodily autonomy and make me the most concerned.
And not to mention with #5 that with pressuring and coercing her, should she cave in, he’s still technically SA-ing/r****g her cause it’s not true consent. If he has to coerce her into sexually satisfying him, that’s 100% abuse.
This. I wouldn’t continue with someone like this. Most of the time when my gf and I don’t have sex, cos period and stuff, I just take care of her and later have a self job. I have been more than 2 weeks without doing it, because I know sometimes she might not be in the mood or maybe is sick. So ya, this bf of Op seems to not care about her at all but just sex. I wouldn’t continue in this relationship.
Completely agree, I read the post opened mouthed.
OP, he sounds awful. You can do so much better. He should be looking after you, not leaving you to do chores and pressuring you for sex.
i had abdominal surgery 2 years ago and was in extreme pain MONTHS before the procedure. idek how long i went w/out sex, at least a good 2 or 3 months, and when i was finally ready 5 weeks post-op my bf was the one to be concerned and almost turned me down. Your bf is an inconsiderate ass.
Honestly... when I had my IUD placed it caused so many issues for me and my boyfriend straight up didn't initiate because he didn't want to cause any more pain. It took a bit of convincing him that I'm okay and want to have sex for him to feel comfortable with it again, and he was incredibly gentle and slow about it when we did.
Your partner doesn't care about your wellbeing in the slightest it seems, and 4 days is nothing at all. He can take care of himself if he's that desperate.
I badly broke my ankle earlier this year, and my bf wouldn't ALLOW me to do any chores while I was healing--he took care of EVERYTHING for a few months and didn't ask for sex even once. He did let me know he found me attractive in a non-pressuring way. As a result, I almost went after him a few times, but he was the one to put on the brakes because he didn't want to hurt me (and he was right; my body would not have liked me later). Your bf is not behaving like he cares about you at all.
Same here! I fell down 3 steps and broke my leg, tore a bunch of tendons. My boyfriend took care of everything, would "get onto" me when he was worried I was trying to do too much (like when I decided I could do my own laundry 3 days after falling), and never once brought up sex.
In fact, when I brought it up, he told me no. He didn't want to hurt me at all and he knew that the slightest jiggle would cause vibrations running down my leg and cause me pain (because he watched me try to get comfy in bed every night. Any tiny adjustment was awful.) I was willing to endure it for some sexy time, and honestly once we got started I probably wouldn't have noticed it much. But he was reluctant to even try. So we went 4 full months without until I was up and running on both legs again. Well, maybe not running...
Steps were what did me in too! Well, one step. Missed the last one when I was coming downstairs and landed with my foot turned upside down and sideways.
Early on, I described the sensation of movement to my bf as "bony glass shards jangling around inside an ankle flesh sack". Unfortunately, the imagery stuck with him, even after I was healed enough to handle some, erm, more physical activities. Whoops. 😆
My fiancé and I have a pretty active sex life. I’d estimate 3-4 times a week usually. Because of 2 surgeries and a third procedure I needed to have done this year, there were 3 separate times where we were not able to have sex for 4-6 weeks. He never once made me feel bad for this or pressured me into doing other things I was able to outside of intercourse (foreplay/oral), because he said he would never want me doing that stuff if I didn’t feel up for it. He knew that I would let him know if/when I wanted any sexual contact.
Your partner does not respect you or value you as anything more than something he can use. I would definitely rethink this relationship.
I would reconsider this relationship he seems self involved only cares for himself and if you want to get married or have children i. The future you won't want to deal with another child (him)
Men tell you how they really feel about you through their actions. He is showing you how much he cares about you, & its not a lot. There are good guys & relationships out there, don't settle for this.
Personally pressuring, guilt trips, or moody behavior in regards to sex or not getting sex are deal breakers for me. Imo, men who don't do that are of higher quality anyway.
YES 100% reconsider this relationship!!!
Imagine if you got pregnant (that is if you want kids) and you had a shitty pregnancy where you didn’t want or couldn’t have sex.. The grief you would get for using pregnancy as an excuse!!!
Leave.
This doesn't bode well, OP. What if you get seriously ill? Do you want kids? Pregnancy, birth, having a new born all kill most couple's sex life for quite a while. I'm sure my husband and I only had sex 5 times in over a year the first time around, and for six of those months we didn't have sex at all.
This man is not your partner.
Getting pregnant with my first baby I honestly didn’t want to even think about sex, my husband went without for over a year and didn’t complain once! Just supported me and loved me and looked after me. Your boyfriend is really gross, things change and circumstances change in life he needs to grow up.
Relationships with entitled and selfish men are always seemingly good as long as you bend over backwards to serve them, have no needs, no personality and never challenge them or hold them accountable for their actions.
You can tell a good partner apart from that by the way conflict is handled.
Definitely!
I once had a difficult pregnancy+birth and my hormones were all over the place. Hadn’t had piv sex effectively for 12 months. He never complained.
After a while we started doing it again and it was better than ever. But him not complaining was essentially which made me feel so much better. Like he trusted me to have my own tempo in this.
Honestly, run for the hills. My partner, who has plenty of issues, came back from Cornwall when my back went and spent a week doing everything and looking after me. He made sure I took my meds regularly, rubbed gel on my back, fed me, did all the house stuff etc. What he didn't do was demand sex, despite having a very high sex drive, because he's not a creepy fucker who thinks sex is more important than his partner.
Yes he is saying he doesn't care if he damages your physical body because he wants an 8 second nut. Sorry to be crude...but I am crude when men treat women like a bang maid
You got a real man right here that will actually care about your well-being AND I'll even help with cleaning and chores! That guy doesn't deserve to even be around you anymore, in my opinion..
Right?! I came here to say this. I had a total hysterectomy last November and my fiancé was worried about hurting me. We probably went closer to 4 or 5 months without proper sex.
4 days and he's whining? He can grow up and use his hand.
I'd also seriously reconsider this partner OP. My ex-husband was super inconsiderate about my health, which led us to having little to no sex towards the end of our relationship. I'll spare you the details, but there's a reason we split up. Don't let someone bully you like this.
You have a great bf - that’s the way I treat my wife and the way all couples should treat each other. OP, I think you deserve a whole lot better than you’re getting.
Sex addict here 👋 your bf needs to grow up and give ya space. Sure it sucks, but it's not like you're going to be sick forever 🤣 plus, if you don't really *want* it, it's kinda gross IMO if he still wants to anyways 😑
He’d rather you worsen your physical pain than go a few more days without sex.
he is happy to cause you pain and discomfort so he can get off.
Please internalize that and understand how disrespectful that is.
He sounds very entitled. Tell him you can do better tell him to look for the gf who never gets sick and comes with a guarantee is sex every day.
What a child. Also - they’ve developed quite realistic sex folls.
He’s the one who’s selfish.
For reals. He's probably taking matters into his own hands anyway, just being a crybaby in the process.
Next time he gets the flu or something demand he immediately finishes projects around the house and yard.
I bet you he didn't even make you a cup of tea and honey with lemon in it. He's acting like a big f****** baby because he can't get his dick wet. It's only been four days WTF
Right?!?! I went almost a year with no sex from my husband. Not because he didn't want to or because I didn't want to...but I was pregnant and he freaks about sex when I'm pregnant now. He unfortunately blames himself for my previous miscarriage as we'd had sex the day before. Trauma that we are working through.
I was horny as hell this last pregnancy...but ya know what I didn't do? I didn't pester and harass and demean my husband because he couldn't/wouldn't do it.
This guy is an AH
Don't spend your life wishing for someone to treat you with kindness and care. You wouldn't have to wish for the most basic things like this if you were in a healthy loving relationship.
Don't wish for your bf to be a decent human and supportive partner, dump him and find a decent human and supportive partner.
Look. He is supposed to be your friend, your biggest supporter. He only sees you as someone who he can have sex with. WTF? Tell him this is what it looks like.
When you're feeling better, you can decide how you want to proceed.
I hope you'll choose release this unworthy specimen back into the wild.
You deserve so much better.
u know your worth sis, you deserve it all and someone else will give you that!!! been there done that in my early twenties, took a lot of self talks etc to have the balls to walk away bc we wanna justify all the behaviors but i promise this ain’t it. hugs!!
Honey I’m sick too and my husband has been out twice to pick up groceries and a prescription. That’s not to brag but to tell you that much, much better men are out there.
My husband has stood by me through chronic pain and illness. My most recent surgery was a hysterectomy and Endo excision. He stayed at the hospital with me until he could take me home, got my meds. He woke up early to get the rest of my meds as they were opiates and I came home too late to get them as there was a time lock at the pharmacy. I would be scolded if I tried to be productive around the house and was told tjat my job was so recover.
He cooked and cleaned and did the care for our dogs. For a whole week we ate dinner in bed together.
There's better men out there for sure. People who care for you and your companionship. People who will respect and love you.
My hubby would buy me chocolate and my favorite hot cheetos during shark week... and that happens every month. He can't do it now since he had a stroke, but even then, he tells me he wishes he could pamper me. You deserve that effort at least on your unwell days.
Hey OP, not trying to be mean, but why do you let him treat you like this? Why is he comfortable treating you like this?. If you don't have boundaries or standards, he won't have respect for you. This is some self-centered, borderline abusive behavioral traits he is displaying. That's not how decent, caring people treat one another. You need to do a wellness check on this 'relationship', it's looking sicker than your medical issues right now.
This is the type of guy who cheats on his pregnant wife because she's not meeting his sexual needs. I don't know about your pregnancy, but I didn't feel like having sex while being pregnant with twins.
Girl, run!
Absolute husk of a man. This is pitiful behavior. Please leave him. If he’s this way now imagine what will happen in the future. Life gets messy. You want a man that knows how to care for you as much as you would care for him.
Is this the first time you've been too sick when he requests sex? If yes, take it as an **enormous** red flag and get the fuck out. Even if it's the second, third, or whatever other number, still consider it a red flag, just a slightly smaller one. Think hard about if this is the kind of man you want to invest your time and future with.
Love yourself enough to find someone better and leave this guy behind. A partner that focuses on their sexual needs when their partner is sick is just grossly selfish and inconsiderate.
You owe it to yourself to leave him and find someone better than the boy you're with now.
The true measure of a relationship isn't how much fun you have in the good times, but how you, as a couple, weather the challenging times. Honestly, it's not worth staying with a guy if he treats you like this (*"But it's been four days since we last f---ed. I need to get laid!"*) when you're sick and he doesn't even say, "Can I get you some aspirin and a glass of water? Would you like a bowl of chicken soup? It'll make you feel better!"
You decide, OP, but leaving him ASAP seems to be the most sensible choice, especially if you love and respect yourself.
100% disproportionate and immature - and manipulative. Your boyfriend is the selfish one for demanding sex when you're literally sick, something outside of your control, and then acting like a toddler when you don't give it to him. Yikes.
Right, I don’t even ask him for help or sympathy, I just want him to accept the fact that im feeling unwell and tired. Im not in the mood and I don’t even have the energy for sex.
Do not have a child with this man!!! You will have a minimum of 6 weeks post partum that you are unable to have sex. It could physically harm you. If this boy can’t go 4 days how will he live thru 6 weeks?!?
He wants sex to satisfy HIS needs and couldn’t care less about yours. That’s not Love! He’s using your body for His pleasure. Get rid of him and find a wonderful guy who will put your needs first. I would also get a covid test, just so you know what it is. Each time you get it, your body builds immunity, so it’s useful to keep track of it, especially since it’s a lot milder these days.
Look, I have a very high sex drive. I would have sex 4-5 times a day, every day if I could. My boyfriend doesn't have as high of a sex drive as me.
When he got really sick for 2 weeks, you know what I thought about? His wellbeing. You know what I didn't think about? The sex I wasn't having cause he was sick.
We don't live together, so I dropped off meds, food, or whatever he needed to make him feel better. I texted/called to check in on him every day. All I cared about was him getting better.
You should leave him, seriously. He's shown you you need to put out regardless of how you feel, and he's a POS. Find someone who isn't a dumpster fire or a human and cares about you, especially when you don't feel well.
Well at least u can see what kinda person he really is.. god forbid something bad happened to u an u were bed bound for weeks, he’s an immature toddler harassing u for sex..
He is selfish. You do not owe him your body.
You are not his sex doll and you are not his mother.
Stop doing most of the chores. Write them all down and divide them 50/50.
He also sounds insecure. Having sex does not equal emotional intimacy. Have him spend quality time with you doing a fun activity instead of making up for it with sex.
I know guys his age have really high testosterone, but he just needs to use his hands for a few days until you’re feeling 100% up for it. He is supposed to give you unconditional love and care for you when you are sick. Does he do that? Think about it.
He hardly does any chores, and you're the selfish one?
He just sees you as his bangmaid apparantly, to use when he feels the need. There's not a lot of love, care and concern for your welbeing coming from his side.
You seem to care a lot more for him than the other way around. Maybe time to look for someone who cares for you as much as you do for them.
think if this is who you want next to you should you suffer a major illness, a difficult pregnancy.
if this is how he handles a fucking cold he is not a partner. he is a selfish, sad, little man
I would be absolutely LIVID.
He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t care about your well being.
He only cares about getting what he wants and using your body for his own gratification
WTH? What an asshole! Whatever the case is, no means no and your partner should respect you. It hasn’t even been a week like damn. And you’re clearly visibly ill. He should be offering to get you soup and cold meds, not demanding sex. Selfish jerk. You don’t owe him sex ever. Period. End of story.
I could never imagine being with someone that doesn't want to baby me when I don't feel good. For whatever reason really.
When your partner is sick it's an OPPORTUNITY to show your liver you can show love unselfishly. My bf always shows extra care and attention to me even when I have a hangover. And we are both adults so we know there is NO time limit on sickness. You just hope you can help your partner feel better as soon as possible. Sound to me like he is a selfish lover and only cares about himself and his own needs and wants. What a lame partner. I'd leave him if I were you. Seriously. Imagine if you got pregnant. He'd be a total jerk. Get out while you can bro frfr
One of my exes and I went like six months without sex because I wasn’t feeling it, and he was a gentleman the entire time. That’s all I have to say. 💁🏽♀️
OP, get a new boyfriend when I was married I had no desire to have sex with my wife when she was having a migraine or was feeling sick. He should be making you hot tea and cuddling you to make sure you don't feel cold not complain about not having sex.
I hate when someone says no to sex and gives a reason (even though they most definitely don’t have to) and their partner says it’s an “excuse”. that irks me soooooo much. First off it’s a reason, not an excuse. second of all YOU DONT NEED A REASON AND ARENT OWED ONE. He’s being incredibly selfish and honestly these are heavy red flags for me. At the very least keep an eye out for how he behaves about sex, he’s giving ME the ick.
Your current Partner is an AH . . . Serious red flag worth ending the relationship over. Your future Ex boyfriend does not value or care about your well being one single bit.
I had a boyfriend like this in my early 20s. I was sick with bronchitis and when I told him I didn't want to have sex the one night because I felt horrible he had a tantrum...we didn't last much longer after that. I came to realize he was only into me for the sex and didn't genuinely care about me as a person.
You need to communicate to your boyfriend that his behaviour makes you feel like he doesn't care about you as a person either and is putting sex above your health, and if he does truly care about you and your relationship...he can wait fricken 4 days for sex...hell he can wait 2 weeks until you feel better. If you're sick you're sick, he needs to chill out honestly.
Think how he'd be after you might have had some sort of an accident, or the birth of a baby, or the effects of aging or some sad experience like grief. This is not someone you want as a life partner. Say good bye now. Let this example be the deal breaker.
1. You're not a sex dispenser, you're a human being.
2. He's the one who is selfish and is also immature.
3. If he really wanted to be a good partner and queue up some desire to have sex with him in the future, he should A. do some chores, B. ask you how he can take care of you while you're sick and C. let you sleep.
4. His desire to have sex is not more important than your health and your desire to not have sex. He may be the star of his own life story, but he is not, in fact, the center of the universe.
5. I would say all of these things, and if he gets pissy and stays shut down about it, I would start planning my exit. Life is too short to put up with man-child.
We set our own boundaries. You’re teaching him how to treat you. You’re sick and still carrying all the household burdens? It sounds like he benefits from this relationship way more than you do. He doesn’t respect you or care for you. If he did, he’d be taking care of you. Not demanding access to your body and punishing you when he’s denied. Move on. You deserve better ❤️❤️
4 days?! Jesus, let's hope he never has children. My wife and I can at times go months depending on schedules/exhaustion. "No" should be answer enough, it's quite ironic he find you to be the selfish one.
Sad guy, I went six months with no sex from my partner. She just wasn't feeling it, I didn't complain because her doing it just because I want to is wrong. It doesn't feel right.
I think it’s ridiculous and sad that you even need to ask. Break up with him, he’s mentally and emotionally abusing you. And doesn’t care about you. And don’t date again till you yourself are mature enough and have self worth that won’t allow for this kind of treatment
OP, you need to leave him. He does not care about your well being. All he cares about is getting off and clearly he can’t do it by himself. He’s a self absorbed a**hole and a creep at that. He’s not worth staying in that relationship with at all.
i never respond to these but i decided to shime in on this one, i’ve had similar situations with partners where i was emasculated and guilt tripped for simply not being “in the mood”, but the fact of the matter is, despite his year over you, it appears they aren’t very emotionally mature. They seemingly are not considering your condition or even your wants. And simply are not respecting your peace, and having sex out of guilt is not sex, and you NEVER need an excuse to say no.
i am not saying they are the devil or anything, since i lack more context and as adults that care each other this can be resolved. But normally men at that deep into their adulthood who are still that selfish rarely see the error of their ways until it ends with them in jail, and no one here wants you to become a potential statistic. This is classic case of Man Baby, and just like a child, he throws a fit about not getting their way, and try to emotionally manipulate you into feeling bad for him, as if on day five of no sex his dick will fall off, when you are actually the sick one, and you are still doing shores. Consider your options and we just want what’s best for you, cause clearly this guy is not it.
I’m sick right now, my boyfriend and I sat together on the bathroom floor while the shower steamed at 3am because he didn’t want me to be alone and sick. Your boyfriend is a tool
If you were my GF and you were not feeling well I would make you comfortable. Take care of you and make sure you got plenty of rest and fluids. I would make you soup and bring you juice, meds etc. Sex would be the last thing I would be asking of you.
He does not consider your needs when you are feeling sick. You should be rethinking who you are with.
In sex, is he cool with you coughing all over him? Personally, if it was me it would make me not wanna have sex with him even after I got past being under the weather.
Pack his things. He has no empathy, no compassion. He’s not worthy of your love. You deserve better. I’ve been there. I stood up for myself. You deserve self care even if he doesn’t.
I get being horny and having a high sex drive but this? His entire demeanor towards you is about how often he has sex with you??? I recommend being very upfront that if he ever wants to even remotely touch you again he should probably learn some self control and to be more considerate of his partner. You're not a damn sex doll. But he obviously is a child.
Your bf is an egotistical horses ass. Does he really think, after being sick for 4 days, that you want to fuck someone, who doesn't even respect you enough to give you basic courtesy? I'm not saying you'd fuck him if he did, but fucks sake, you're suck and this grown ass man still won't do a chore?
Instead of asking if you're wrong for not wanting to have sex. Ask yourself why you have sex with this asshat at all. Seriously. Give me one reason this man is a good bf. He doesn't help with chores. I'm sure he doesn't cook. Bet he's selfish when you have sex. So what is it that's so wonderful about this guy that you stay through this abuse? Ain't no way anyone should our up with this.
Once you feel better, you need to either kick him outta your apt or leave the apt to him. He is showing you what you mean to him, right now in real time. You are a fuck toy of little value. If you aren't purring out and satisfying his needs then what use are you? Be better to yourself than this.
He doesn't see you as a person, he sees you as someone who serves him. Dump this one and find an upgrade. My boyfriend (and many other men) take care of their partners when they're sick- taking care of us, cleaning, errands, food, and love. Not sex.
My ex used to do this to me. He would throw a fit if I didn’t have sex with him at least once a day. No matter how sick or awful I felt. Period, flu, bad day.. didn’t matter. I usually gave in just appease him because he would be so cold to me if I refused but this is manipulative and abusive.
I regret every time I gave in and honestly in hind sight, knowing I let my own no to sexual pressure go unheard feels icky and shameful even years later.
Definitely unacceptable behavior. This should be called out, and definitely not entertained.
I’m sorry you’re sick and hope you heal up quickly (:
You’re unmarried with no kids and he’s already acting this selfish? Girl…add in kids and the stress of life and this behavior only gets worse. He will do less and less and expect you to be his bang maid when you’re run down. This is the kind of guy that will put your life at risk wanting you to sleep with him right after you give birth. NEXT.
Hes not talking to you so that the next time he propositions you, you will say yes out of fear that he'll ignore you again.
So the next time you say yes, it'll be out of obligation and manipulation. Please think about if thats what you really want.
🚩🚩🚩
It's about time to just throw the whole man out.
Im a chronically ill 40f with autism on top of my physical disability. My husband (40m) also has autism. We've been together 14 years. Our lives together can be quite difficult because of the 'tism. He's level 3 support needs and I'm level 2. He can work and has a great career, I cannot. I can keep house and he cannot. He struggles to turn the washing machine on and couldn't tell you where to find more paper towels if his life depended on it. He couldn't tell you what or how much our dogs eat or even the medications he takes. We've had this living arrangement for 13 of our 14 years together.
I've never once been called selfish for not having sex with him. Remember what I said he is not capable of doing regularly... Here are just a handful of times where he want above and beyond to help and never told me I was selfish or made me feel bad for what I couldn't do:
- IUD replacement that caused severe bleeding. He walked his ass right into Walgreens, picked up several different brands and types of feminine products and promptly asked the several people in line if he could cut in front of them so he could get home to me. He did research and ordered me a menstrual cup to reduce risk of TSS and helped me insert and remove it during the worst of my pain and bleeding. I never even asked him to go to the store for me.
- oral surgery with removal of 5 teeth. He went to the store after he brought me home to get me pudding and stopped at Panera to get me enough cheddar broccoli soup and macaroni and cheese to last literal days. He took care of my service dog so I didn't have to bend down to feed him.
- removal of a golf ball sized lump from my breast. He did all house chores for a week including caring for my service dog. He even cooked his own meals. They were awful but he never complained. He helped remove my dressings and clean my incision.
- handled everything during my multiple 4 night stays in the hospital.
- the most recent was October 2022. I fell in August 2022 and completed a partial tear I already had in my rotator cuff. I was on light duty around the house awaiting my surgery in October. He did a ton of research and bought me everything I would need to help care for myself and be independent after surgery. That included a veggie chopper I could use one handed, a multi use air fryer/convection oven, one handed shower tools, a memory foam wedge to sleep upright, and more accessible clothing. By the time I was a month out from surgery I could no longer lift my arm unassisted without using my other arm. He dressed me every morning and every night and was always happy to do so. After my surgery, I was told to shower 48 hours post discharge to soften the cover over my shoulder and to then remove the dressings. He bathed me then and for the next month even though he hates being wet more than absolutely necessary. He removed my dressings stopping halfway through to throw up (he gets really queasy when I'm injured and bleeding) then finishing the rest. He took care of me, my service dog, his dog, our 3 snakes, and our house for 2 weeks without my help at all. He continued to dress me for an entire month and picked up slack at home until I was released from physical therapy to go back to my regular lifestyle.
I say all of that to tell you that if your bf wanted to help, he would. If my husband can manage I'm confident most partners can manage to help.
As my physical disability continues to progress, sex is the last thing I think about. If I initiate he is always more concerned about whether or not my body can handle it. If he wants to initiate he always starts by taking a quick rundown of my current pain level and capabilities. Then will express interest in initiating and confirm I'm ok to go forward. He's stopped part way through multiple times when he can tell my pain and coordination are making it difficult for me to enjoy myself.
We sometimes go weeks without sex. When I tell him I'm sorry I've been unable to be physically intimate with him he always says no worries I've got a hand and an imagination.
Your bf is full of red flags. Please reevaluate your relationship and reconsider if this is how you want to spend a chunk of your life. Good luck.
Edited for spelling
He is not entitled to have sex with you. The audacity pisses me off. Seriously just dump this loser. Freaking crybaby doesn't get his pee pee wet. He doesn't even care how you're sick. Douchbag
It's been 2 months for me because the wife was seriously injured. If he can't understand that you need time then he's not worth holding onto. Sounds like th has the mental maturity of a 12 yr old
He seems like an asshole. You’re unwell and the last thing you want is sex. He should be empathetic and think with more than just his dick. Think about how you feel
Sneeze directly in this face. Or if you rather be an adult then break up with him (but think how satisfying that sneeze would be and leave him with a cold as a parting gift).
My ex wanted me to have sex with him when I was sick and when I said no he asked for me to watch him get off and basically strip/dance for him as eye candy. I lost so much respect for him and myself after that. Like I was SICK dude and not feeling good at all, sex is the last thing on my mind.
We broke up cause he also has a porn addiction that he can't admit to himself, and let's not forget the lack of respect and empathy for me as his partner.
Basically, your bf is being so inconsiderate and selfish, and manipulative. You don't deserve that, you deserve to rest and someone who treats you better.
When women get a serious illness 21% of men leave them, compared to 2% of women leaving if reversed.
If he's complaining about 4 days I guarantee he will be one of the men who leave, do you want a future with that?
I think you shouldn't be with a man who feels he is owed sex. Sex should be something you do together because you both want to. The fact he doesn't seem to give a damn about you at all is honestly more concerning though. You've been sick and not only can he only think about his dick, but he is still letting you do all the chores instead of resting and him caring for you. Why exactly are you with him? A lot of guys are good in bed AND treat their partners well. You should go looking for one of those.
My ex did this same thing. Finally when I went away for two weeks he asked for me to find a way to pleasure him each day and if I couldn’t then he should be allowed to sleep with other people. I said absolutely, go sleep with anyone you want, we’re done.
My husband and I are BOTH sick, but he’s still been helping keep up with house chores and taking care of our son. And he damn sure hasn’t/wouldn’t get upset with me for not wanting to have sex, even when I feel well, but especially not when I’m sick.
Break up with him. His an immature little brat and you don’t deserve to have to deal with that. You should be able to say no any time, any reason, and no one should make you feed bad or guilty about it. Period.
Reminds me a ex of mine but as long distance. When he was sick he didn't talk to me for two days. But when I got sick I HAD to do what he wants me to do which is sexual stuff. He even hardly ever said he loves me until I decided I need to leave the relationship. Well he is my ex after all and I've been in a long-term relationship with my fiance of almost 6 years and my fiance does care about my health and try to do anything for me even when he isn't feeling well either or in pain. I always try to get my fiance to stop and relax because he has a job that requires him to be on the road while I don't have a job so I can rest and relax after taking care of him and making sure he is ok. I decided to take care of him,so no it wasn't forced on me,it was my choice. Saying that for anyone that probably doesn't agree to that,and that I don't care. I care about my man and I will take care of him because he does the same thing for me. Anyway,op u deserve to have someone that does care about ur health more than sex when ur not feeling well.
Find another boyfriend. That is selfish and childish narcissistic behavior. What happens if you ever become seriously ill, have a child, or something else? 4 days is nothing. You aren't his pocketpull.
Your dude is an ass. Sex is something you do WITH each other not FOR each other. If your partner isn't feeling well, then take care of them, help ease the burden and let them get the rest they need. Rest equals quicker healing.
This is your red flag. This man does not see you as a human being, he sees you as his and he thinks you owe him your body regardless of your physical well being. You shouldn’t have to ask your partner for empathy.
Male here, he's a prick, huge man baby. If my girl isn't feeling it whether she's sick or just not in the mood, then no is no. Sometimes we go at it like rabbits, then we might not for weeks or a couple months. Even when I was 25 it wasn't hard to grasp that. Give him a icy hot hand job and turn the water off at home. He wont wanna fuck for a while
I've been through this. He is only thinking of his own needs and doesn't care that you're ill. He's demonstrating that he doesn't care about your well being at all. He isn't willing to be there for you or help take care of you. He is definitely focusing on the fact that you being ill is inconvenient to him. I say end it. It's not going to get better, he won't change & he will continuously disregard your feelings and only focus on himself. In my situation.... I finally left after putting myself through hell for my ex... I left once I had nothing else to give, no more energy & when he betrayed me by finding another. He caused vaginal bruising that lasted 8 months. I'm still healing now from all the trauma.
Sex isn't everything, it's obvious he doesn't care about hurting you. It will eventually turn into sexual abuse & worse domestic abuse. Which happened to me. Please get out now, his actions & words are very very unhealthy for your mental state and physical state. If you love someone, you wouldn't ever want to hurt them...so they shouldn't want to hurt you emotionally, mentally, verbally or physically either.
See, I rarely get sick. It’s usually our kids or my husband who get sick. I make soups, teas, run baths, etc. Making them feel cared for makes me happy. That being said, when I am sick, I don’t even ask. My husband always wakes up earlier to take the baby so I can get some rest. He makes breakfast for everybody. He runs a bath for me. I’m not saying this in a Brag way. I’m saying it so that you can maybe see that his reaction to you being sick is wrong. He’s less worried about your health and more worried about himself and how you can help him. I’d have a conversation about that with him. A man that loves his woman wouldn’t want to see her down.
This is a type of red flag.
I'm not sure what to classify it as, but it's one of the signs of abuse: being expected to have his needs taken care of above your own, no matter what you're going through.
Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, but no matter the type, it always gets worse once the abuser is comfortable with it. He knows what he's doing, but his sense of self entitlement is allowing him to operate in this way, and if you allow him to get away with it, it's going to get worse.
Either have a firm conversation with him or leave the relationship altogether. He wants sex? He has his right hand. Hopefully you'll do the right thing and he'll be forced to use his right hand for a long time
What is with this tidal wave of entitled, selfish manchildren recently? OP, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE. You need to lay down *and enforce* some hard boundaries, (sexual coercion through silent treatment and pouting being one of them) or else leave. Absolutely hateful and disgusting behavior.
He’s waving so many red flags, he’s showing you the side of him he’s hidden from you before.
If you choose to break up with him (honestly it would be better for you to be with someone who treats you with respect and kindness), please be careful and either have someone there or do it in a public place. That kind of anger and selfishness has the potential to turn physical.
How a partner treats you and takes care of you when you aren’t feeling well is so important! And a huge relationship “test” if you will. Not sure how new the relationship is but this guy sounds awful
1. No. One. Owes. Anyone. Their. Body.
2. He should be doing chores WITHOUT YOU ASKING, especially when you’re sick (I will agree if he doesn’t live there then he doesn’t have to but he should still offer to help while you’re sick).
3. Dump him. Him guilting you over sex and acting this way is disgusting and beyond immature. It’s also very manipulative. No one should treat their partner like this over sex. No one. Not even FWB or married people. NO ONE. My husband ever did this, oh we’re done having sex forever. Not happening. If I did this, I’d expect him to put me in my place pronto.
No one should ever be pressuring you, gaslighting you, manipulating, using emotional distress or any sort of coercion into ANY kind of Sex.
It doesn't matter what his reason is, he does **need** the sex.
Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is a selfish child. You should never feel bad about saying no and it should give you A LOT to think about.
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I was sick for about 4 days this spring (first illness since January 2020 - the streak was broken!) and while my husband kept his distance a bit so he wouldn't catch it, he brought me soup, meds, ginger ale, the extra soft Kleenex, etc. He checked on me and made sure I had blankets for my couch fort lol. He did not, however, pester me for sex. Not sure if it's because he's a decent human being or wasn't turned on by me blowing my nose or a little bit of column A, little bit of column B.
Also, we both used to travel for work regularly and sometimes there was overlap where we didn't see each other for about a week which meant...no sex. We dealt with it and had happy reunions once we were in the same place. This is life sometimes!
I spent 14 years of my marriage stuck in bed seriously chronically ill 4-5 days a week, and my husband not only didn't make me feel bad for not being able to have sex as much as he'd like too, he also paid extremely close attention when we were able to be intimate and stopped the moment he could tell I was in pain without making me feel guilty, or even having to tell him I was hurting. Girl, you deserve so much better. Ditch this selfish guy and find somebody who treats you as well as you treat them. Life is too short to waste it on self-centered jerks. That's my 1.9 cents.
Excellent advice!
Yes!
You have a good man ♥️🙏
Aw he sounds amazing my ex couldn't even care about my chronic illness
This goes without saying, or so I thought! My bad for thinking we were supposed to care what our partners actually want. I can't imagine pressuring my partner into sex they don't want with me while they feel like crap. How would that be fun,m
It's only fun if you don't actually care about your partner, view sex as something you get out of your partner, and are a completely selfish human.
You are not dating a good person. A good person sees a sick person and thinks, I feel so bad they’re sick…what can I do to help? Then they proceed to do things like bring you soup and ginger ale and run to the store for more tissues and cough medicine. You would do that for anyone..a friend, a neighbor, but most especially YOUR GIRLFRIEND. He could not care less about you and you absolutely deserve better.
Man. It’s not that I’ve been in a whole lot of *really* abusive relationships or anything like that, but I’ve been in such disappointing ones. It would be nice to experience what you are describing here. Even though intellectually I understand it’s the most basic level most people should set their bar for a partner.
Lol! Don’t kinkshame snot!
😂😂😂
What a sweetie!
Why are you dating someone who doesn’t care about you?
Good question. I have to do something about it
Yeah break up with him is the answer
Yes, you do. No sex for four days should not have anybody acting like a complete ass. From what I have gathered he's the selfish one. I would not accept this type of behavior. Dump that chump!
I agree with this. As someone who has been with their partner for almost 9 years married for 1. I go through dry periods a lot. The most recent one was last year when I got pregnant and we didn’t have sex for months and my husband never complained. If your partner truly loves you, they would not say you’re selfish for not wanting to be intimate with them. They would find other ways to connect with you. Op you deserve better.
Give him the sick ick, then dump him so can fend for himself.
And this is only you being ill for 4 days. Can you imagine if you got cancer or something? This man would either leave you, cheat on you, or make your life a misery without a second thought.
It’s sad that your comment is actually true when it comes to cancer/illness/pregnancy. They say a man acts more single when it comes down to shit like this 😔
Kiddo the only answer seems clear. You need to dump this little boy, because that's exactly what he is acting like. A little boy who is pouting because he isn't getting his way
If he thinks 4 days is an unacceptably long time, he's going to be very disappointed later in life....
OP not only does he not care for you but he expects you to care for his every whim. You're a maid, cook, launder, on top of something to dip his stick in any time he pleases whether you want to or not. You don't need an excuse. You just need to say NO and it should be respected, ALWAYS! Please respect yourself and treat yourself better than this.
He calls YOU selfish but insists on having sex with you when you are ill … doesn’t that make him the selfish one?
Girl get rid of him girl. You’re a bang-maid in his eyes and you’re not doing the job he hired you for adequately right now.
My wife and I go weeks sometimes, because we have kids, and both work so between everything going on, it's not always the right time to do it. He is being immature and selfish. If he really cared about you, he would accept it and offer to try to make you feel better rather than try to guilt you into it
Absolutely!! If he truly cared about her, he wouldn't want her to have sex if she didn't want it, and especially not if she was feeling miserable the whole time! This speaks to a disturbing lack of empathy.
Believe them when they tell you who they are!
Get well. Continue to say “no” to your selfish & thoughtless partner. He’s not a decent person. Cough on him (or his toothbrush), Hope he gets whatever you have and has to deal with it by himself. Dump this poor excuse of a bf.
So you are sick, you are doing all the chores without help from the male in the home and I presume are working? I was waiting for you to say he at least wanted a bj whether you can breath or not. Him acting like a pouting 4 year old is decidedly the opposite of sexy. Suggestion is let this one go back into the dating pool and take care of yourself.
Yea...is that all he wants out of your relationship is daily sexcapades? Sounds like that's all he cares about. I normally don't jump to the "leave him" thing, but this one I am jumping there. You deserve much better than that, OP!
tell him he has a hand and knows how to use it. fucking 4 days is NOTHING
I think the same. 4 days isn’t that much.
OP, let’s see what we’ve got here: 1) He doesn’t care how you physically feel 2) He is not even helping to clean up while you are sick - that doesn’t bode well for an equitable chore distribution 3) He is acting life a selfish, immature child and his response is ridiculous. 4) He has forgotten he can take care of himself 5) He is sexually pressuring you and not wanting to take no for an answer. OP you may want to look out for other red flags. Yes, this is a red flag. His behavior can indicate other red flag issues. Take care of yourself (clearly he won’t help). Hope you feel better soon. Edit: had forgotten to type #5 which I feel is incredibly important as it shows no respect for your bodily autonomy and make me the most concerned.
1, 2, 3, 4, FIVE red flags ah..ah..ahh🧛♂️
Lmao nice hahaha - I mean - ah ah ahhhh
This. Thank you, now I don't have to type all that out. If I were her he'd be out on his ass.
And not to mention with #5 that with pressuring and coercing her, should she cave in, he’s still technically SA-ing/r****g her cause it’s not true consent. If he has to coerce her into sexually satisfying him, that’s 100% abuse.
This. I wouldn’t continue with someone like this. Most of the time when my gf and I don’t have sex, cos period and stuff, I just take care of her and later have a self job. I have been more than 2 weeks without doing it, because I know sometimes she might not be in the mood or maybe is sick. So ya, this bf of Op seems to not care about her at all but just sex. I wouldn’t continue in this relationship.
Completely agree, I read the post opened mouthed. OP, he sounds awful. You can do so much better. He should be looking after you, not leaving you to do chores and pressuring you for sex.
i had abdominal surgery 2 years ago and was in extreme pain MONTHS before the procedure. idek how long i went w/out sex, at least a good 2 or 3 months, and when i was finally ready 5 weeks post-op my bf was the one to be concerned and almost turned me down. Your bf is an inconsiderate ass.
That makes me reconsider the relationship because he’s showing me another side of him.
that side of him has always been there he’s just finally revealing it to you.
Honestly... when I had my IUD placed it caused so many issues for me and my boyfriend straight up didn't initiate because he didn't want to cause any more pain. It took a bit of convincing him that I'm okay and want to have sex for him to feel comfortable with it again, and he was incredibly gentle and slow about it when we did. Your partner doesn't care about your wellbeing in the slightest it seems, and 4 days is nothing at all. He can take care of himself if he's that desperate.
I badly broke my ankle earlier this year, and my bf wouldn't ALLOW me to do any chores while I was healing--he took care of EVERYTHING for a few months and didn't ask for sex even once. He did let me know he found me attractive in a non-pressuring way. As a result, I almost went after him a few times, but he was the one to put on the brakes because he didn't want to hurt me (and he was right; my body would not have liked me later). Your bf is not behaving like he cares about you at all.
Same here! I fell down 3 steps and broke my leg, tore a bunch of tendons. My boyfriend took care of everything, would "get onto" me when he was worried I was trying to do too much (like when I decided I could do my own laundry 3 days after falling), and never once brought up sex. In fact, when I brought it up, he told me no. He didn't want to hurt me at all and he knew that the slightest jiggle would cause vibrations running down my leg and cause me pain (because he watched me try to get comfy in bed every night. Any tiny adjustment was awful.) I was willing to endure it for some sexy time, and honestly once we got started I probably wouldn't have noticed it much. But he was reluctant to even try. So we went 4 full months without until I was up and running on both legs again. Well, maybe not running...
Steps were what did me in too! Well, one step. Missed the last one when I was coming downstairs and landed with my foot turned upside down and sideways. Early on, I described the sensation of movement to my bf as "bony glass shards jangling around inside an ankle flesh sack". Unfortunately, the imagery stuck with him, even after I was healed enough to handle some, erm, more physical activities. Whoops. 😆
My fiancé and I have a pretty active sex life. I’d estimate 3-4 times a week usually. Because of 2 surgeries and a third procedure I needed to have done this year, there were 3 separate times where we were not able to have sex for 4-6 weeks. He never once made me feel bad for this or pressured me into doing other things I was able to outside of intercourse (foreplay/oral), because he said he would never want me doing that stuff if I didn’t feel up for it. He knew that I would let him know if/when I wanted any sexual contact. Your partner does not respect you or value you as anything more than something he can use. I would definitely rethink this relationship.
Please reconsider. This guys is trash.
Good, you deserve someone better.
I would reconsider this relationship he seems self involved only cares for himself and if you want to get married or have children i. The future you won't want to deal with another child (him)
Men tell you how they really feel about you through their actions. He is showing you how much he cares about you, & its not a lot. There are good guys & relationships out there, don't settle for this. Personally pressuring, guilt trips, or moody behavior in regards to sex or not getting sex are deal breakers for me. Imo, men who don't do that are of higher quality anyway.
YES 100% reconsider this relationship!!! Imagine if you got pregnant (that is if you want kids) and you had a shitty pregnancy where you didn’t want or couldn’t have sex.. The grief you would get for using pregnancy as an excuse!!! Leave.
It should make you reconsider. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This doesn't bode well, OP. What if you get seriously ill? Do you want kids? Pregnancy, birth, having a new born all kill most couple's sex life for quite a while. I'm sure my husband and I only had sex 5 times in over a year the first time around, and for six of those months we didn't have sex at all. This man is not your partner.
Getting pregnant with my first baby I honestly didn’t want to even think about sex, my husband went without for over a year and didn’t complain once! Just supported me and loved me and looked after me. Your boyfriend is really gross, things change and circumstances change in life he needs to grow up.
This “other side” is his true self. How long have you been together? I can’t believe it’s the first time he’s gone 4 days without sex.
Relationships with entitled and selfish men are always seemingly good as long as you bend over backwards to serve them, have no needs, no personality and never challenge them or hold them accountable for their actions. You can tell a good partner apart from that by the way conflict is handled.
Definitely! I once had a difficult pregnancy+birth and my hormones were all over the place. Hadn’t had piv sex effectively for 12 months. He never complained. After a while we started doing it again and it was better than ever. But him not complaining was essentially which made me feel so much better. Like he trusted me to have my own tempo in this.
Honestly, run for the hills. My partner, who has plenty of issues, came back from Cornwall when my back went and spent a week doing everything and looking after me. He made sure I took my meds regularly, rubbed gel on my back, fed me, did all the house stuff etc. What he didn't do was demand sex, despite having a very high sex drive, because he's not a creepy fucker who thinks sex is more important than his partner.
Yes he is saying he doesn't care if he damages your physical body because he wants an 8 second nut. Sorry to be crude...but I am crude when men treat women like a bang maid
You got a real man right here that will actually care about your well-being AND I'll even help with cleaning and chores! That guy doesn't deserve to even be around you anymore, in my opinion..
Right?! I came here to say this. I had a total hysterectomy last November and my fiancé was worried about hurting me. We probably went closer to 4 or 5 months without proper sex. 4 days and he's whining? He can grow up and use his hand. I'd also seriously reconsider this partner OP. My ex-husband was super inconsiderate about my health, which led us to having little to no sex towards the end of our relationship. I'll spare you the details, but there's a reason we split up. Don't let someone bully you like this.
You have a great bf - that’s the way I treat my wife and the way all couples should treat each other. OP, I think you deserve a whole lot better than you’re getting.
Just out of curiosity what abdominal surgery did you have? I had one about three years ago and couldn’t have sex for months
Sex addict here 👋 your bf needs to grow up and give ya space. Sure it sucks, but it's not like you're going to be sick forever 🤣 plus, if you don't really *want* it, it's kinda gross IMO if he still wants to anyways 😑
He’d rather you worsen your physical pain than go a few more days without sex. he is happy to cause you pain and discomfort so he can get off. Please internalize that and understand how disrespectful that is.
He sounds very entitled. Tell him you can do better tell him to look for the gf who never gets sick and comes with a guarantee is sex every day. What a child. Also - they’ve developed quite realistic sex folls. He’s the one who’s selfish.
For reals. He's probably taking matters into his own hands anyway, just being a crybaby in the process. Next time he gets the flu or something demand he immediately finishes projects around the house and yard.
4 days?! Lmao....fuck, I'm over here getting it every 3 - 4 months.
I bet you he didn't even make you a cup of tea and honey with lemon in it. He's acting like a big f****** baby because he can't get his dick wet. It's only been four days WTF
Right?!?! I went almost a year with no sex from my husband. Not because he didn't want to or because I didn't want to...but I was pregnant and he freaks about sex when I'm pregnant now. He unfortunately blames himself for my previous miscarriage as we'd had sex the day before. Trauma that we are working through. I was horny as hell this last pregnancy...but ya know what I didn't do? I didn't pester and harass and demean my husband because he couldn't/wouldn't do it. This guy is an AH
Yeah, he should try 3 years with an ldr partner that's not ready to go all the way. It's called discipline and respect 😮💨
Show him a picture of a sex doll, and then one of you. Ask him if he knows the difference? Dude is a selfish ass.
👏👏👏😂😂😂
Your boyfriend is immature and doesnt sound like he has much empathy for you
He’s acting like a jerk right now. I just wished he would be understanding.
He’s not acting.
Don't spend your life wishing for someone to treat you with kindness and care. You wouldn't have to wish for the most basic things like this if you were in a healthy loving relationship. Don't wish for your bf to be a decent human and supportive partner, dump him and find a decent human and supportive partner.
Look. He is supposed to be your friend, your biggest supporter. He only sees you as someone who he can have sex with. WTF? Tell him this is what it looks like.
He doesn’t even offer me soup of meds because he thinks that I’m exaggerating.
I think you know how he sounds. Why are you still with him?
I can’t even tell.
Don’t throw away your life on a shit guy who doesnt care about you. Trust me, he’s not worth it
When you're feeling better, you can decide how you want to proceed. I hope you'll choose release this unworthy specimen back into the wild. You deserve so much better.
u know your worth sis, you deserve it all and someone else will give you that!!! been there done that in my early twenties, took a lot of self talks etc to have the balls to walk away bc we wanna justify all the behaviors but i promise this ain’t it. hugs!!
Honey I’m sick too and my husband has been out twice to pick up groceries and a prescription. That’s not to brag but to tell you that much, much better men are out there.
My husband has stood by me through chronic pain and illness. My most recent surgery was a hysterectomy and Endo excision. He stayed at the hospital with me until he could take me home, got my meds. He woke up early to get the rest of my meds as they were opiates and I came home too late to get them as there was a time lock at the pharmacy. I would be scolded if I tried to be productive around the house and was told tjat my job was so recover. He cooked and cleaned and did the care for our dogs. For a whole week we ate dinner in bed together. There's better men out there for sure. People who care for you and your companionship. People who will respect and love you.
Your husband sounds like a keeper. I hope you recover well!
That was last year, and I recovered well because I didn't have to worry about anything else! Thank you! Better is out there.
My hubby would buy me chocolate and my favorite hot cheetos during shark week... and that happens every month. He can't do it now since he had a stroke, but even then, he tells me he wishes he could pamper me. You deserve that effort at least on your unwell days.
You’re being abused
You should tell him that "thinking someone is exaggerating" is just an excuse.
Hey OP, not trying to be mean, but why do you let him treat you like this? Why is he comfortable treating you like this?. If you don't have boundaries or standards, he won't have respect for you. This is some self-centered, borderline abusive behavioral traits he is displaying. That's not how decent, caring people treat one another. You need to do a wellness check on this 'relationship', it's looking sicker than your medical issues right now.
Oh, girl, throw the whole man away. This is not how good people treat someone they love. You deserve so much better.
So why are you with him? And don’t give us the whole “BuT I LoVE HiM! hE’s NoT aLWayS liKE tHIs” He treats you like garbage. Do better for yourself
I'd be outta there, he's being selfish here not you. Find a new man.
Im really reconsidering the relationship now.
I would be out of there. He doesn't value YOU.
Don’t have children with him how will he survive 6 weeks of no sex after you have the baby. What a uncaring little boy he is.
6 or more depending on whether she has a c/s or tears or just heals slower than the books say she should....
Yes so true if necessary.
This is the type of guy who cheats on his pregnant wife because she's not meeting his sexual needs. I don't know about your pregnancy, but I didn't feel like having sex while being pregnant with twins. Girl, run!
Absolute husk of a man. This is pitiful behavior. Please leave him. If he’s this way now imagine what will happen in the future. Life gets messy. You want a man that knows how to care for you as much as you would care for him.
I’m thinking about leaving him ( at least reconsidering the relationship), because his attitude really upsets me.
I hope you do. I don’t know what your future plans are but if they include having children this is not the type of man you want to have kids with.
Is this the first time you've been too sick when he requests sex? If yes, take it as an **enormous** red flag and get the fuck out. Even if it's the second, third, or whatever other number, still consider it a red flag, just a slightly smaller one. Think hard about if this is the kind of man you want to invest your time and future with.
How can you think about marrying him in the future when the biggest part of the vows is in sickness and in health?? Well this is how he is in sickness
Love yourself enough to find someone better and leave this guy behind. A partner that focuses on their sexual needs when their partner is sick is just grossly selfish and inconsiderate.
You owe it to yourself to leave him and find someone better than the boy you're with now. The true measure of a relationship isn't how much fun you have in the good times, but how you, as a couple, weather the challenging times. Honestly, it's not worth staying with a guy if he treats you like this (*"But it's been four days since we last f---ed. I need to get laid!"*) when you're sick and he doesn't even say, "Can I get you some aspirin and a glass of water? Would you like a bowl of chicken soup? It'll make you feel better!" You decide, OP, but leaving him ASAP seems to be the most sensible choice, especially if you love and respect yourself.
100% disproportionate and immature - and manipulative. Your boyfriend is the selfish one for demanding sex when you're literally sick, something outside of your control, and then acting like a toddler when you don't give it to him. Yikes.
Right, I don’t even ask him for help or sympathy, I just want him to accept the fact that im feeling unwell and tired. Im not in the mood and I don’t even have the energy for sex.
You shouldn't even have to ask your partner for help or sympathy. The bar is on the floor and he still can't clear it.
Do not have a child with this man!!! You will have a minimum of 6 weeks post partum that you are unable to have sex. It could physically harm you. If this boy can’t go 4 days how will he live thru 6 weeks?!?
He sounds like the guy who said "female privilege is faking a headache as an excuse to not have sex"
My EX was like this. He never changed. The man I have now is amazingly patient, never pressures me, and helps around the house. Find you one!
He's trying to coerce you into having sex you don't want to have. There's a name for guys like that...
He wants sex to satisfy HIS needs and couldn’t care less about yours. That’s not Love! He’s using your body for His pleasure. Get rid of him and find a wonderful guy who will put your needs first. I would also get a covid test, just so you know what it is. Each time you get it, your body builds immunity, so it’s useful to keep track of it, especially since it’s a lot milder these days.
Look, I have a very high sex drive. I would have sex 4-5 times a day, every day if I could. My boyfriend doesn't have as high of a sex drive as me. When he got really sick for 2 weeks, you know what I thought about? His wellbeing. You know what I didn't think about? The sex I wasn't having cause he was sick. We don't live together, so I dropped off meds, food, or whatever he needed to make him feel better. I texted/called to check in on him every day. All I cared about was him getting better. You should leave him, seriously. He's shown you you need to put out regardless of how you feel, and he's a POS. Find someone who isn't a dumpster fire or a human and cares about you, especially when you don't feel well.
Well at least u can see what kinda person he really is.. god forbid something bad happened to u an u were bed bound for weeks, he’s an immature toddler harassing u for sex..
He is selfish. You do not owe him your body. You are not his sex doll and you are not his mother. Stop doing most of the chores. Write them all down and divide them 50/50. He also sounds insecure. Having sex does not equal emotional intimacy. Have him spend quality time with you doing a fun activity instead of making up for it with sex. I know guys his age have really high testosterone, but he just needs to use his hands for a few days until you’re feeling 100% up for it. He is supposed to give you unconditional love and care for you when you are sick. Does he do that? Think about it.
After reading this and your subsequent comments, OP I think it's time for you to take out the trash...
He hardly does any chores, and you're the selfish one? He just sees you as his bangmaid apparantly, to use when he feels the need. There's not a lot of love, care and concern for your welbeing coming from his side. You seem to care a lot more for him than the other way around. Maybe time to look for someone who cares for you as much as you do for them.
He’s a walking red flag. You’re so young - leave him and find someone who respects you, loves you and will take care of you when you’re ill.
think if this is who you want next to you should you suffer a major illness, a difficult pregnancy. if this is how he handles a fucking cold he is not a partner. he is a selfish, sad, little man
I would be absolutely LIVID. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t care about your well being. He only cares about getting what he wants and using your body for his own gratification
WTH? What an asshole! Whatever the case is, no means no and your partner should respect you. It hasn’t even been a week like damn. And you’re clearly visibly ill. He should be offering to get you soup and cold meds, not demanding sex. Selfish jerk. You don’t owe him sex ever. Period. End of story.
I could never imagine being with someone that doesn't want to baby me when I don't feel good. For whatever reason really. When your partner is sick it's an OPPORTUNITY to show your liver you can show love unselfishly. My bf always shows extra care and attention to me even when I have a hangover. And we are both adults so we know there is NO time limit on sickness. You just hope you can help your partner feel better as soon as possible. Sound to me like he is a selfish lover and only cares about himself and his own needs and wants. What a lame partner. I'd leave him if I were you. Seriously. Imagine if you got pregnant. He'd be a total jerk. Get out while you can bro frfr
One of my exes and I went like six months without sex because I wasn’t feeling it, and he was a gentleman the entire time. That’s all I have to say. 💁🏽♀️
OP, get a new boyfriend when I was married I had no desire to have sex with my wife when she was having a migraine or was feeling sick. He should be making you hot tea and cuddling you to make sure you don't feel cold not complain about not having sex.
I hate when someone says no to sex and gives a reason (even though they most definitely don’t have to) and their partner says it’s an “excuse”. that irks me soooooo much. First off it’s a reason, not an excuse. second of all YOU DONT NEED A REASON AND ARENT OWED ONE. He’s being incredibly selfish and honestly these are heavy red flags for me. At the very least keep an eye out for how he behaves about sex, he’s giving ME the ick.
Maybe stop having sex with him and have sex with someone who cares about you and sees you as a human being instead?
Your current Partner is an AH . . . Serious red flag worth ending the relationship over. Your future Ex boyfriend does not value or care about your well being one single bit.
He's a dick. Find a new guy cuz he ain't it. And for the record he's the one being selfish.
He sounds like a little baby.
I had a boyfriend like this in my early 20s. I was sick with bronchitis and when I told him I didn't want to have sex the one night because I felt horrible he had a tantrum...we didn't last much longer after that. I came to realize he was only into me for the sex and didn't genuinely care about me as a person. You need to communicate to your boyfriend that his behaviour makes you feel like he doesn't care about you as a person either and is putting sex above your health, and if he does truly care about you and your relationship...he can wait fricken 4 days for sex...hell he can wait 2 weeks until you feel better. If you're sick you're sick, he needs to chill out honestly.
Think how he'd be after you might have had some sort of an accident, or the birth of a baby, or the effects of aging or some sad experience like grief. This is not someone you want as a life partner. Say good bye now. Let this example be the deal breaker.
This is an easy fix. He deserves to fuck. You're too sick to fuck. Just tell him to go fuck himself. I guarantee he is his favorite person.
1. You're not a sex dispenser, you're a human being. 2. He's the one who is selfish and is also immature. 3. If he really wanted to be a good partner and queue up some desire to have sex with him in the future, he should A. do some chores, B. ask you how he can take care of you while you're sick and C. let you sleep. 4. His desire to have sex is not more important than your health and your desire to not have sex. He may be the star of his own life story, but he is not, in fact, the center of the universe. 5. I would say all of these things, and if he gets pissy and stays shut down about it, I would start planning my exit. Life is too short to put up with man-child.
Girl he better use his hand and call it a day he is immature and selfish the fact you are sick and instead of respecting and helping you he wants sex.
We set our own boundaries. You’re teaching him how to treat you. You’re sick and still carrying all the household burdens? It sounds like he benefits from this relationship way more than you do. He doesn’t respect you or care for you. If he did, he’d be taking care of you. Not demanding access to your body and punishing you when he’s denied. Move on. You deserve better ❤️❤️
>4 days Lmao
He is showing you who he is. A very unsympathetic unsupportive person. Do you want that for the rest of your life?
It was Feb 2019, I had the flu with a fever of 102. He just folded me and told me to lay there while he did it to me. I said no. You deserve better.
This makes my skin crawl. Good for you 💜
That’s called emotional abuse
4 days?! Jesus, let's hope he never has children. My wife and I can at times go months depending on schedules/exhaustion. "No" should be answer enough, it's quite ironic he find you to be the selfish one.
Sad guy, I went six months with no sex from my partner. She just wasn't feeling it, I didn't complain because her doing it just because I want to is wrong. It doesn't feel right.
\>>He feels that being sick is just an excuse I think that he seems really nice and like a great partner!!
Time for a new bf.. this won’t be the last time he acts like this.
I think it’s ridiculous and sad that you even need to ask. Break up with him, he’s mentally and emotionally abusing you. And doesn’t care about you. And don’t date again till you yourself are mature enough and have self worth that won’t allow for this kind of treatment
Taking care of your partner's physical health is the BARE MINIMUM. If he can't even meet that low of a bar, he's got to go.
OP, you need to leave him. He does not care about your well being. All he cares about is getting off and clearly he can’t do it by himself. He’s a self absorbed a**hole and a creep at that. He’s not worth staying in that relationship with at all.
i never respond to these but i decided to shime in on this one, i’ve had similar situations with partners where i was emasculated and guilt tripped for simply not being “in the mood”, but the fact of the matter is, despite his year over you, it appears they aren’t very emotionally mature. They seemingly are not considering your condition or even your wants. And simply are not respecting your peace, and having sex out of guilt is not sex, and you NEVER need an excuse to say no. i am not saying they are the devil or anything, since i lack more context and as adults that care each other this can be resolved. But normally men at that deep into their adulthood who are still that selfish rarely see the error of their ways until it ends with them in jail, and no one here wants you to become a potential statistic. This is classic case of Man Baby, and just like a child, he throws a fit about not getting their way, and try to emotionally manipulate you into feeling bad for him, as if on day five of no sex his dick will fall off, when you are actually the sick one, and you are still doing shores. Consider your options and we just want what’s best for you, cause clearly this guy is not it.
I’m sick right now, my boyfriend and I sat together on the bathroom floor while the shower steamed at 3am because he didn’t want me to be alone and sick. Your boyfriend is a tool
If you were my GF and you were not feeling well I would make you comfortable. Take care of you and make sure you got plenty of rest and fluids. I would make you soup and bring you juice, meds etc. Sex would be the last thing I would be asking of you. He does not consider your needs when you are feeling sick. You should be rethinking who you are with.
In sex, is he cool with you coughing all over him? Personally, if it was me it would make me not wanna have sex with him even after I got past being under the weather.
Pack his things. He has no empathy, no compassion. He’s not worthy of your love. You deserve better. I’ve been there. I stood up for myself. You deserve self care even if he doesn’t.
I get being horny and having a high sex drive but this? His entire demeanor towards you is about how often he has sex with you??? I recommend being very upfront that if he ever wants to even remotely touch you again he should probably learn some self control and to be more considerate of his partner. You're not a damn sex doll. But he obviously is a child.
Your bf is an egotistical horses ass. Does he really think, after being sick for 4 days, that you want to fuck someone, who doesn't even respect you enough to give you basic courtesy? I'm not saying you'd fuck him if he did, but fucks sake, you're suck and this grown ass man still won't do a chore? Instead of asking if you're wrong for not wanting to have sex. Ask yourself why you have sex with this asshat at all. Seriously. Give me one reason this man is a good bf. He doesn't help with chores. I'm sure he doesn't cook. Bet he's selfish when you have sex. So what is it that's so wonderful about this guy that you stay through this abuse? Ain't no way anyone should our up with this. Once you feel better, you need to either kick him outta your apt or leave the apt to him. He is showing you what you mean to him, right now in real time. You are a fuck toy of little value. If you aren't purring out and satisfying his needs then what use are you? Be better to yourself than this.
He doesn't see you as a person, he sees you as someone who serves him. Dump this one and find an upgrade. My boyfriend (and many other men) take care of their partners when they're sick- taking care of us, cleaning, errands, food, and love. Not sex.
My ex used to do this to me. He would throw a fit if I didn’t have sex with him at least once a day. No matter how sick or awful I felt. Period, flu, bad day.. didn’t matter. I usually gave in just appease him because he would be so cold to me if I refused but this is manipulative and abusive. I regret every time I gave in and honestly in hind sight, knowing I let my own no to sexual pressure go unheard feels icky and shameful even years later. Definitely unacceptable behavior. This should be called out, and definitely not entertained. I’m sorry you’re sick and hope you heal up quickly (:
He’s the selfish one. Get rid of him. You’re young enough to find someone with character.
You’re unmarried with no kids and he’s already acting this selfish? Girl…add in kids and the stress of life and this behavior only gets worse. He will do less and less and expect you to be his bang maid when you’re run down. This is the kind of guy that will put your life at risk wanting you to sleep with him right after you give birth. NEXT.
Hes not talking to you so that the next time he propositions you, you will say yes out of fear that he'll ignore you again. So the next time you say yes, it'll be out of obligation and manipulation. Please think about if thats what you really want.
🚩🚩🚩 It's about time to just throw the whole man out. Im a chronically ill 40f with autism on top of my physical disability. My husband (40m) also has autism. We've been together 14 years. Our lives together can be quite difficult because of the 'tism. He's level 3 support needs and I'm level 2. He can work and has a great career, I cannot. I can keep house and he cannot. He struggles to turn the washing machine on and couldn't tell you where to find more paper towels if his life depended on it. He couldn't tell you what or how much our dogs eat or even the medications he takes. We've had this living arrangement for 13 of our 14 years together. I've never once been called selfish for not having sex with him. Remember what I said he is not capable of doing regularly... Here are just a handful of times where he want above and beyond to help and never told me I was selfish or made me feel bad for what I couldn't do: - IUD replacement that caused severe bleeding. He walked his ass right into Walgreens, picked up several different brands and types of feminine products and promptly asked the several people in line if he could cut in front of them so he could get home to me. He did research and ordered me a menstrual cup to reduce risk of TSS and helped me insert and remove it during the worst of my pain and bleeding. I never even asked him to go to the store for me. - oral surgery with removal of 5 teeth. He went to the store after he brought me home to get me pudding and stopped at Panera to get me enough cheddar broccoli soup and macaroni and cheese to last literal days. He took care of my service dog so I didn't have to bend down to feed him. - removal of a golf ball sized lump from my breast. He did all house chores for a week including caring for my service dog. He even cooked his own meals. They were awful but he never complained. He helped remove my dressings and clean my incision. - handled everything during my multiple 4 night stays in the hospital. - the most recent was October 2022. I fell in August 2022 and completed a partial tear I already had in my rotator cuff. I was on light duty around the house awaiting my surgery in October. He did a ton of research and bought me everything I would need to help care for myself and be independent after surgery. That included a veggie chopper I could use one handed, a multi use air fryer/convection oven, one handed shower tools, a memory foam wedge to sleep upright, and more accessible clothing. By the time I was a month out from surgery I could no longer lift my arm unassisted without using my other arm. He dressed me every morning and every night and was always happy to do so. After my surgery, I was told to shower 48 hours post discharge to soften the cover over my shoulder and to then remove the dressings. He bathed me then and for the next month even though he hates being wet more than absolutely necessary. He removed my dressings stopping halfway through to throw up (he gets really queasy when I'm injured and bleeding) then finishing the rest. He took care of me, my service dog, his dog, our 3 snakes, and our house for 2 weeks without my help at all. He continued to dress me for an entire month and picked up slack at home until I was released from physical therapy to go back to my regular lifestyle. I say all of that to tell you that if your bf wanted to help, he would. If my husband can manage I'm confident most partners can manage to help. As my physical disability continues to progress, sex is the last thing I think about. If I initiate he is always more concerned about whether or not my body can handle it. If he wants to initiate he always starts by taking a quick rundown of my current pain level and capabilities. Then will express interest in initiating and confirm I'm ok to go forward. He's stopped part way through multiple times when he can tell my pain and coordination are making it difficult for me to enjoy myself. We sometimes go weeks without sex. When I tell him I'm sorry I've been unable to be physically intimate with him he always says no worries I've got a hand and an imagination. Your bf is full of red flags. Please reevaluate your relationship and reconsider if this is how you want to spend a chunk of your life. Good luck. Edited for spelling
He is not entitled to have sex with you. The audacity pisses me off. Seriously just dump this loser. Freaking crybaby doesn't get his pee pee wet. He doesn't even care how you're sick. Douchbag
I hope he is now your ex. What a loser boyfriend.
It's been 2 months for me because the wife was seriously injured. If he can't understand that you need time then he's not worth holding onto. Sounds like th has the mental maturity of a 12 yr old
He seems like an asshole. You’re unwell and the last thing you want is sex. He should be empathetic and think with more than just his dick. Think about how you feel
Sneeze directly in this face. Or if you rather be an adult then break up with him (but think how satisfying that sneeze would be and leave him with a cold as a parting gift).
My ex wanted me to have sex with him when I was sick and when I said no he asked for me to watch him get off and basically strip/dance for him as eye candy. I lost so much respect for him and myself after that. Like I was SICK dude and not feeling good at all, sex is the last thing on my mind. We broke up cause he also has a porn addiction that he can't admit to himself, and let's not forget the lack of respect and empathy for me as his partner. Basically, your bf is being so inconsiderate and selfish, and manipulative. You don't deserve that, you deserve to rest and someone who treats you better.
When women get a serious illness 21% of men leave them, compared to 2% of women leaving if reversed. If he's complaining about 4 days I guarantee he will be one of the men who leave, do you want a future with that?
I think you shouldn't be with a man who feels he is owed sex. Sex should be something you do together because you both want to. The fact he doesn't seem to give a damn about you at all is honestly more concerning though. You've been sick and not only can he only think about his dick, but he is still letting you do all the chores instead of resting and him caring for you. Why exactly are you with him? A lot of guys are good in bed AND treat their partners well. You should go looking for one of those.
My ex did this same thing. Finally when I went away for two weeks he asked for me to find a way to pleasure him each day and if I couldn’t then he should be allowed to sleep with other people. I said absolutely, go sleep with anyone you want, we’re done.
Omg this guy is walking red flags! Run girl run
My husband and I are BOTH sick, but he’s still been helping keep up with house chores and taking care of our son. And he damn sure hasn’t/wouldn’t get upset with me for not wanting to have sex, even when I feel well, but especially not when I’m sick. Break up with him. His an immature little brat and you don’t deserve to have to deal with that. You should be able to say no any time, any reason, and no one should make you feed bad or guilty about it. Period.
Reminds me a ex of mine but as long distance. When he was sick he didn't talk to me for two days. But when I got sick I HAD to do what he wants me to do which is sexual stuff. He even hardly ever said he loves me until I decided I need to leave the relationship. Well he is my ex after all and I've been in a long-term relationship with my fiance of almost 6 years and my fiance does care about my health and try to do anything for me even when he isn't feeling well either or in pain. I always try to get my fiance to stop and relax because he has a job that requires him to be on the road while I don't have a job so I can rest and relax after taking care of him and making sure he is ok. I decided to take care of him,so no it wasn't forced on me,it was my choice. Saying that for anyone that probably doesn't agree to that,and that I don't care. I care about my man and I will take care of him because he does the same thing for me. Anyway,op u deserve to have someone that does care about ur health more than sex when ur not feeling well.
Find another boyfriend. That is selfish and childish narcissistic behavior. What happens if you ever become seriously ill, have a child, or something else? 4 days is nothing. You aren't his pocketpull.
Your dude is an ass. Sex is something you do WITH each other not FOR each other. If your partner isn't feeling well, then take care of them, help ease the burden and let them get the rest they need. Rest equals quicker healing.
This is your red flag. This man does not see you as a human being, he sees you as his and he thinks you owe him your body regardless of your physical well being. You shouldn’t have to ask your partner for empathy.
RUN. RUN FAR AWAY FAST ASF. RUN.
Male here, he's a prick, huge man baby. If my girl isn't feeling it whether she's sick or just not in the mood, then no is no. Sometimes we go at it like rabbits, then we might not for weeks or a couple months. Even when I was 25 it wasn't hard to grasp that. Give him a icy hot hand job and turn the water off at home. He wont wanna fuck for a while
He tripping over 4 days? At his age? The fact that you’re literally sick and all he cares about is sex is major red flag
I've been through this. He is only thinking of his own needs and doesn't care that you're ill. He's demonstrating that he doesn't care about your well being at all. He isn't willing to be there for you or help take care of you. He is definitely focusing on the fact that you being ill is inconvenient to him. I say end it. It's not going to get better, he won't change & he will continuously disregard your feelings and only focus on himself. In my situation.... I finally left after putting myself through hell for my ex... I left once I had nothing else to give, no more energy & when he betrayed me by finding another. He caused vaginal bruising that lasted 8 months. I'm still healing now from all the trauma. Sex isn't everything, it's obvious he doesn't care about hurting you. It will eventually turn into sexual abuse & worse domestic abuse. Which happened to me. Please get out now, his actions & words are very very unhealthy for your mental state and physical state. If you love someone, you wouldn't ever want to hurt them...so they shouldn't want to hurt you emotionally, mentally, verbally or physically either.
I say get a more mature boyfriend who understands what a boundary is. No is a full sentence
See, I rarely get sick. It’s usually our kids or my husband who get sick. I make soups, teas, run baths, etc. Making them feel cared for makes me happy. That being said, when I am sick, I don’t even ask. My husband always wakes up earlier to take the baby so I can get some rest. He makes breakfast for everybody. He runs a bath for me. I’m not saying this in a Brag way. I’m saying it so that you can maybe see that his reaction to you being sick is wrong. He’s less worried about your health and more worried about himself and how you can help him. I’d have a conversation about that with him. A man that loves his woman wouldn’t want to see her down.
This is a type of red flag. I'm not sure what to classify it as, but it's one of the signs of abuse: being expected to have his needs taken care of above your own, no matter what you're going through. Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, but no matter the type, it always gets worse once the abuser is comfortable with it. He knows what he's doing, but his sense of self entitlement is allowing him to operate in this way, and if you allow him to get away with it, it's going to get worse. Either have a firm conversation with him or leave the relationship altogether. He wants sex? He has his right hand. Hopefully you'll do the right thing and he'll be forced to use his right hand for a long time
What is with this tidal wave of entitled, selfish manchildren recently? OP, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE. You need to lay down *and enforce* some hard boundaries, (sexual coercion through silent treatment and pouting being one of them) or else leave. Absolutely hateful and disgusting behavior.
He’s the one who is selfish. He doesn’t deserve sex. It’s not owed to him. He’s treating you like a sex robot. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Time to 🏃💨
He’s waving so many red flags, he’s showing you the side of him he’s hidden from you before. If you choose to break up with him (honestly it would be better for you to be with someone who treats you with respect and kindness), please be careful and either have someone there or do it in a public place. That kind of anger and selfishness has the potential to turn physical.
How a partner treats you and takes care of you when you aren’t feeling well is so important! And a huge relationship “test” if you will. Not sure how new the relationship is but this guy sounds awful
1. No. One. Owes. Anyone. Their. Body. 2. He should be doing chores WITHOUT YOU ASKING, especially when you’re sick (I will agree if he doesn’t live there then he doesn’t have to but he should still offer to help while you’re sick). 3. Dump him. Him guilting you over sex and acting this way is disgusting and beyond immature. It’s also very manipulative. No one should treat their partner like this over sex. No one. Not even FWB or married people. NO ONE. My husband ever did this, oh we’re done having sex forever. Not happening. If I did this, I’d expect him to put me in my place pronto.
No one should ever be pressuring you, gaslighting you, manipulating, using emotional distress or any sort of coercion into ANY kind of Sex. It doesn't matter what his reason is, he does **need** the sex. Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is a selfish child. You should never feel bad about saying no and it should give you A LOT to think about.