I find myself quoting Jean Paul quite often for no apparent reason.
“Why separate knob? Why separate knob!?”
And any time I look at the clock and it’s 8:47.
It’s my dream to be told that the thing I reserved is no longer available, whether it’d be a rental car or hotel room, just so I can do the whole bit about “you know how to take reservations, but you don’t know how to hold a reservation, anybody can take reservations”.
I say Jambalaya way too often, even unrelated to soup or food. Pretty much any time something satisfying happens I get into that Newman vibe and say Jambalayaaa while shuffling my feet.
That’s a shame
Yeah, that's right.
A damn shame
High five 👋
Serenity now!
Hoochie Mama!
….insanity later.
I use ‘airing of the grievances’ more frequently than you’d think
Thats my mum's
THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY
May I have one of those pretzels, madam?
These pretzels (heavy breathing)… are making me THIRSTY
That's how you say it?
We live in a society!
We’re supposed to act in a civilized way!
You’re pushing your luck little man.
You want bread? Three dollars!
WhoooooAhhhhh
Adios muchacho
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
My father’s gay
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually say that one so much that I forgot it was from Seinfeld.
This is the one we say all the time. Itnjust flows in conversations so easily :p
Giddy-up
Yeah that's right.
High five!
On the flip side!
- That's not gonna be good for anybody. - That's a shame. - Yo Yo Ma, or sometimes Boutros Boutros Gali
I go with Sweet Fancy Moses
Oh Moses, smell the roses!
Yama-hama!
Lost something? ‘My wallet’s gone! My wallet’s gone!’
Sometimes I throw in a "what kind of clip joint are you running here?" when I think something is expensive
You don’t say, you don’t say…
Who told you to put the balm on?
I didn't tell you to put the balm on!
Why’d you put the balm on?!
Cartwright!! Cartwright!! Often for no reason whatsoever, and sometimes while waiting for a table.
Who’s Cartwright?
I'm Cartwright
You're not Cartwright.
Cahwhat!
That’s hilarious! I would LMAO if I was waiting for a table & heard someone yell Cartwright!!!🤣🤣
That's gold, Jerry. Gold!
If I ever say something is “The best,” it will likely be followed by a “Jer.”
I won't have you turning my (insert current location) into a den of iniquity!
Uno momento por favor
Por favor?
Adios, muchacho
I’m part Spanish 😏
Want to go to the Gap?
I don’t think we should be talking about this.
eduardo corochio?
My dogs name is Eddie - we call him Eduardo Corrochio all the time
Machu pichu.
Any setback or inconvenience has me thinking: 'This was supposed to be the Summer of George!' Fun fact: My name is not George lol.
I always laugh - it was his summer of unemployment. Classic bawdy George.
That’s the George we know and love! Not relationship George.
Also, “George is getting upset!”
And it’s fat free! Anytime my dad or I are eating something overly rich and indulgent lol
quick where are your bathroom scales?
Another round of strawberry for me and my friends!
I laugh so hard every single time Newman says that in this episode.
People, they're the worst.
I find myself quoting Jean Paul quite often for no apparent reason. “Why separate knob? Why separate knob!?” And any time I look at the clock and it’s 8:47.
"This son of a bitch is ice cold!"
My wife has put up with years of me me saying this anytime the weather gets below 55
Soak of da year!
Don’t we all yell out “SERENITY NOW!!!” at the slightest inconvenience?
Insanity later
"I WILL NOT TOLERATE INFESTATION!!!" if I see a spider or fly.
That’s what I tell my cat when there’s a spider or something that’s she’s taking care of for me. 😂
Alright, Frank. That's enough.
Why didn’t you get the big one?
"salsa"
selza
Seltzer
It must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and NOT to get salsa!
Step off
You said that?
I said, hey dude, you better step off.
[Rotates hat backwards on head]
You're such a cool guy
MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BAY-BEE
*sarcastic* “who is this?”
Uncle Leo?
George is getting upset!
Whaddya think, these hands have been soakin in ivory liquid!?
*junior
"The Moops!" because I have clients with the last name Moore. "But I don't wanna be a pirate," when I generally don't want to do something.
Hellooooo! And “it’s gonna be rough.” Seriously though Jambalaya is not soup. That’s always bothered me. Lol.
Should be gumbo, surely.
Yes it is. The soup nazi serves it, therefore it is soup. Please refrain from mentioning this conversation to the soup nazi.
As a Louisianan, I agree wholeheartedly; however, I don't think it'd be as funny with Wayne Knight saying "gum-bo"
He’s a Soup NAZI! Regular conventions don’t apply
He's flouting society's conventions!
This is what happens living under a nazi regime!
Boutros Boutros Ghali...or... fake! fake! fake! fake! fake!...When I say fake believe me the person knows there was an exclamation point attached..😁
Yo yo Ma!
Good luck with aaaaaaaall that.
This is probably the one I use the most.
You don't even know what a write off is
But they do...
And they're the ones writing it off...
You are sooo good looking.
Another Festivus miracle!
Oh, I'm stressed
Lol Jambalaya isn’t even a soup
BUT Is jambalaya soup a meal??
Did you put crackers in it?
Did he crumble any crackers?!
That's how you know this show is about New Yorkers. They think jambalaya is a soup.
He also serves chili. "I don't know how official any of these rankings are."
No soup for you! One year!
"Tippy-Toe! Tippy-Toe!"
Lemon tree!
Serenity now..
It’s my dream to be told that the thing I reserved is no longer available, whether it’d be a rental car or hotel room, just so I can do the whole bit about “you know how to take reservations, but you don’t know how to hold a reservation, anybody can take reservations”.
We're living in a society! I've actually yelled this out loud in public before. It's cathartic.
mmm, machu pichu.
That guy.... Not my type of guy
Sweet fancy Moses.
They? 😑 The government?
Mind your pace boy! Chop chop 👏👏
Whenever someone asks me what I’m up to … “you don’t wanna know”
Alll-righhht
It's Go time! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!
Delicate genius
“I recently went from a 40 to a 42. — Yeah I’m huge”
Hahaha I do the yeah I’m huge every time my wife says I look muscular
That’s not gonna be good for business (that’s not gonna be good for anyone)
Why don’t you just tell me what ____ you selected I’M AWARE!!! I’M AWARE!! Oh…. The Beeeach!!!
Giddy-up.
I say Jambalaya way too often, even unrelated to soup or food. Pretty much any time something satisfying happens I get into that Newman vibe and say Jambalayaaa while shuffling my feet.
I'm a joke maker
Serenity now Yada Yada Yada These pretzels are making me thirsty
"YOU'RE BALD!!"
I've got a lot of problems with you people!
I am DOWN!
Mark me DOWN!
NO Soup for YOU!!
Funny Guy!
Good luck with ALL of that.
"Who is thiiis?"
•ya know, we live in a society! • ugh, stop short
Newman may be pure evil but he ordered soup to perfection
HELLOOO LA LA LA - with few friends who are also Seinfeld fans.
They give you some portion here, huh? Anytime I’m at a restaurant
When someone sneezes: “You’re so good looking”
THE BEST JERRY , the BEST
My brother has a cat named Newman. Every time I see him, I say… Well, you know. 🤣
Hello Vargas?
you’ve spilled my bag!
DEMEANOR- I always hear this in Uncle Leo’s voice.
SERENITY NOW!
Yamaha Hamah it’s fright night!
Anytime I hear someone say "cocoa", I have to say, "The cocoa bean" like when Kramer was trying to guess George's ATM code.
His dark master.
Yo-Yo Ma! You're not Penske material.
It’s not a lie if you believe it
Can’t-stand-ya
“And you want to be my latex salesman “ best line to use when some one fails!
Stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!
GEORGE IS GETTIN UPSET!!!
Anyone asking me: “How long until…..?” Me: “Five, ten minutes.”
YOU CAN'T SPARE ONE SQUARE???
I'm off bread
Stellaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
I AM QUEEN OF THE CASTLE
I'm out.
I WAS IN THE POOL!!
Oh it be
The Ukraine is NOT WEAK!!!!
As a native of New Orleans, this always bothered me big time. Jambalaya is not soup. It's a rice dish, not unlike an orgasmic risotto.
I’m on 1st and 1st, how can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!
Jambalaya is not soup. It’s a rice dish.
When someone asks me what time they wanna meet. I say “something wrong with 6?”
“It’s like a sauna in here” anytime I use a sauna
Here’s to feeling good, all the time (while chugging a beer with lit cigarette)
Work? It's raining.
Good luck with... ALL...that.
"________ can do anything he puts his mind to"
I have a few but the three that come most to mind are “that’s a shame” “oh you don’t see you don’t see” and “this is no good!”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that
My father's gay....
Cherish the cabin.
Oh my God dad, you and John Cheever?!?!
Not that there's anything wrong with that
Sometimes I like to annoy my friends when they call me. "Who is this? Uncle Leo?!"
“Oh, right right right” as a response to everything.
I frequently pull out a "whooo iiis this?" when the wife calls or texts me.
No soup for you!
Any time anyone brings up anything even remotely related to taxes: "It's a write off, Jerry!"
Anytime I show someone something: "LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!"
Take the pen!!
spare a square?
Festivus for the rest of us. Every Christmas. Family don't get it. Just my inner chuckling thing.
That's not good for business
"Ya gotta see the BABYYYY"