I was just about to say, "leaf? No no, leaf is weak" but then I thought maybe they used them to wipe their...but NOW I'm thinking they had a lot of poisonous leaves albeit, rock still wins but maybe the club hits rock like baseball
Oh and boulder is (large) rock which is too big to be hit by any club
It wasn't until the 1990's that humans even began to realize that "no means no." For the smartest species alive... humans are kinda dumb, to be honest.
It would've depended on the culture, just like today. Not to get into non-shitty-asking, but we have at least 2 centuries of notes from Ethnographers who visited various hunter-gatherer peoples, and centuries of notes from before that (though it's not a 1-for-1, since these groups lived in these eras just like the Ethnographers). These folks, in turn, made notes with varying degrees of bias. We've got everything from poly matriarchies, to the more "classic" marriage by abduction.
"Can me put bone in your cave?"
"Your father must be witch-doctor, because way you walk on two legs is magic."
"No no baby, that fine. Me no mind. Sometimes me no bother to skin rabbit before eat it."
"Me hunter. You want gather *these* nuts?"
"Me called 'Mammoth' Trog, but *not* because me hunt hairy elephant."
"Was your daddy continental drift? Because dem titties massif."
"Dat butt make me feel like pterosaur, because me Gondwanaland on it."
"Hey baby, wanna try evolve with me?"
"Hey baby, my nickname *dicklodocus*."
Stone age humans were not unintelligible cave men.. c'mon ppl, they were comparable to modern humans in intelligence. Culturally and technologically they hadn't advanced, but not because they weren't stupid.
We can make better jokes for OP.
You wanna knap some flint or maybe come over to my hut and nap with me instead?
What did the Beaker People man say to the Corded Wares woman?
Wanna sit on my beaker while I tie you up in those cords?
What did the indo european settler say to the stepp rider? Your bow skills make me quiver!
I’ve met a couple of people that never went to high school. It’s actually crazy (but not unrealistic) to think that in terms of problem solving, common sense, intuition, hell probably even socially, etc, people in the Stone Age were probably smarter than those two.
Amazing and scary at the same time that we live in a world where people dumber than cave men can survive and sometimes thrive
"Homo"
The phrase "Homo" was by far the most popular phrase used by Stone Age Homo Sapiens looking to mate, as the Neanderthals were very deceptively similar.
The courtship usually, thusly, began as so:
"Homo?"
"Homo. Homo?"
"Homo."
Neanderthals never really went away. They're still around and like to announce their neanderthal selves. We largely just stopped using "Homo," as "Homo" has become the assumed sexual position.
“Wanna come to my village and see our henge?”
“Come on out to the field. I’ll teach you how to draw a bow.”
“Your eyes are bluer than the beads I acquired through our extensive trade routes.”
“Lookin’ for someone to irrigate your ditch?” (Alternate: “I’m looking for someone to irrigate my ditch.”)
“I’m not one of those runaround guys. I’m a wolf, sure, but I’m like one of those wolves you throw scraps to. I’ll protect your campsite.”
*Caveman **ClubHer** Profile Cave Painting:*
Me have big south-facing cave to catch morning light. Me have running water. When you need water, Me run get it. Me have mammoth farm that last many Ice Ages. Me like sabertooth cat, Me not dire wolf cave man. Me cat name Mr. Bison because cat leave me dead bison at cave entrance. Me enjoy long hunting trips. Me enjoy killing big-dumb sloth. Me also enjoy making fire. Me make lots of fire, big fire. Me also invest in wheel startup. If you like make cave pretty, like make babies, like cat and strict protein diet to keep looking thin, the this cave man for you. Call me with 3 knocks using rock on tree trunk in south forest near tar pit.
fun fact: Most people today are the same mental capacity as stone age people, most dont invent shit and don't know how the tech they use works nor how it was created, its all magic, if the geniuses dissapeared we would all live in wooden sheds as nobody would know how to make bricks
I think you mean pickup slabs. They chiseled their words of love into stone, then bashed their love interests head with it before dragging her into his cave.
"Uggooh?"
sauce: bcp://borlg.cave
Unfortunately the old BCP (before carrier pigeon) protocol was abandoned long ago, so good luck asking the .cave TLD.
"Ooga booga, shawty. Ooooooga booooooga."
That line kept evolution going. As a time traveler I know that as a fact.
Landed myself some hairy cavelady pootang many times with that.
I don't know Amy stone age chat up lines, but I do know the reason that cavemen dragged cavewomen round by the hair.
It's because if they dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with pebbles.
No pick up lines needed just hold my club over my head and aggressively do the windmill until a cave lass comes over for the ooga booga times too short for words actions gents actions always work.
Let me break your rock 😏
[Thousands of years ago, Stone Age humans used sticks and stones to form rocks into hand axes.](https://kids.britannica.com/kids/article/Stone-Age/353814)
Pick up club. Let go clubbing
Pick up club. Let’s smash
goddamn it this got me good lol
That's what she (Lucy) said
🤓🥂
are you an ancient alien? because you've just erected a pyramid in my pants
These aren't supposed to be pick up lines you can use today, because I love this.
Were they called ancient aliens in ancient times, tho?
Ancient aliens referred to themselves as "ancient us"
Maybe God or overlord or even those assholes in the flying metal tubs that boss us around?
You make me *Homo Erectus*
No homo
Yes erectus
ErectUS??? Sounds homo to me I don't want my girls to be erect unless it's their nips
You like girls? sounds homo to me, girls like guys and liking someone that likes guys is so homo
::mind blown:: 👍🏼
Hmmm...socks on or off?
Erectus? damn near killed us
You come to cave. See pretty drawings on cave wall.
Cave paintings and Ice Age.
Haha. Too much chill, not enough Netflix.
Ok, this one got me. Have my upvote.
Cave and chill
Paint me like one of your Cave Girls!
These were the top two pickup lines in 45,249 BC: * Ooga-ugh-ugh! * Gaba-daga-ugh!
Rock
Paper!
There wasn't paper back then or scissors so unless you have a club (you don't) I win
Silly mistake, common though. They had three different types of rocks in the game. Rock, *rock*, and **rock**. Doi
Boulder, Leaf, Club
I was just about to say, "leaf? No no, leaf is weak" but then I thought maybe they used them to wipe their...but NOW I'm thinking they had a lot of poisonous leaves albeit, rock still wins but maybe the club hits rock like baseball Oh and boulder is (large) rock which is too big to be hit by any club
Boulder wins every game
Fire!
Rock, Club, Caveman STD
Stone knife
and Stone!
Oogaa Booga‼️‼️
ooga? 😏... ... booGAH! 🥵
Ooga...ooga ooga ooga...ooga...oooooga ahhh BOOGAHHH ahh ::goes to sleep::
Bonk!
"Look there's a mammooth!" - and when she turns around, smack her with a club and drag her back to cave
Unfortunately I think this sort of thing would be common. What we call "consent" is probably a modern day idea.
It wasn't until the 1990's that humans even began to realize that "no means no." For the smartest species alive... humans are kinda dumb, to be honest.
Can confirm
Well, you consented to turn around knowing local traditions, so 🤷
Like dropping the soap. Should have known better /s
It would've depended on the culture, just like today. Not to get into non-shitty-asking, but we have at least 2 centuries of notes from Ethnographers who visited various hunter-gatherer peoples, and centuries of notes from before that (though it's not a 1-for-1, since these groups lived in these eras just like the Ethnographers). These folks, in turn, made notes with varying degrees of bias. We've got everything from poly matriarchies, to the more "classic" marriage by abduction.
Want to go to the club? Then you club her.
Early form of rufees!
Drugs? Nah, tree branch!
Made me spit out my drink. Bravo!
Nice beard! Thanks, you too!
"Can me put bone in your cave?" "Your father must be witch-doctor, because way you walk on two legs is magic." "No no baby, that fine. Me no mind. Sometimes me no bother to skin rabbit before eat it." "Me hunter. You want gather *these* nuts?" "Me called 'Mammoth' Trog, but *not* because me hunt hairy elephant." "Was your daddy continental drift? Because dem titties massif." "Dat butt make me feel like pterosaur, because me Gondwanaland on it." "Hey baby, wanna try evolve with me?" "Hey baby, my nickname *dicklodocus*."
“Gondwanaland on it” 😂😂😂 Seriously, this deserves all the upvotes!
Are you a fucking writer cuz gotdamn
Trog not writer. Trog sometimes scratch mark on bones for other cavemen to make grunt through nose, but strictly for fun.
Trog sounds really cool.
is that a stone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Also good work on inventing pockets
You have a prehensile tail? I'm so into those...but not in a creepy way or whatever.
nice comment but just *eughhhh*... the thought of what someone might do with a tail kinda weirds me out
"DAMN GIRL! What that tail do?"
Me came down from trees just for you, baby.
A: Argghh B: Arg??? A: Erghoo! B: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Egh!
*Thonk!* *drag* *drag* *drag*
"Bang?" "Yes" "Ok"
Hey babe, want to know what qualifies *me* as megafauna?
"For rock and stone! "
Rock and roll and stone!
Rock and Stone, brother!
"thunk"! (With club).
Just twat her with the old club and drag her back home its the polite thing to do
Yo baby, let me get Neanderthalll up in ya good-good
Stone age humans were not unintelligible cave men.. c'mon ppl, they were comparable to modern humans in intelligence. Culturally and technologically they hadn't advanced, but not because they weren't stupid. We can make better jokes for OP. You wanna knap some flint or maybe come over to my hut and nap with me instead? What did the Beaker People man say to the Corded Wares woman? Wanna sit on my beaker while I tie you up in those cords? What did the indo european settler say to the stepp rider? Your bow skills make me quiver!
I’ve met a couple of people that never went to high school. It’s actually crazy (but not unrealistic) to think that in terms of problem solving, common sense, intuition, hell probably even socially, etc, people in the Stone Age were probably smarter than those two. Amazing and scary at the same time that we live in a world where people dumber than cave men can survive and sometimes thrive
Cavemen were likely just as capable of learning and understanding, but simply didn't have an abundance of ancestral knowledge to draw from.
And become president!
"Homo" The phrase "Homo" was by far the most popular phrase used by Stone Age Homo Sapiens looking to mate, as the Neanderthals were very deceptively similar. The courtship usually, thusly, began as so: "Homo?" "Homo. Homo?" "Homo."
So when did we start using "No homo"? And why?
Neanderthals never really went away. They're still around and like to announce their neanderthal selves. We largely just stopped using "Homo," as "Homo" has become the assumed sexual position.
You have seen the NFL, right? "Neanderthal Football League"....?
When it becomes an Orgy, then that’s ‘Hommus’ 🙂
Too many guys walked away when the girl said”bi”!
Well, explain why Europeans have 2% of Neanderthals' dna.
Hey baby, did you invent fire because you're smoking hot
you rock? with my rock?
Hole. now. make. baby.
Unga bunga
Wanna get stoned?
\*Bonk\* "Ugh" (mine) drags to cave...
Hey bro, do yuo want to be HOMOsapiens with me tonight ?
“Wanna come to my village and see our henge?” “Come on out to the field. I’ll teach you how to draw a bow.” “Your eyes are bluer than the beads I acquired through our extensive trade routes.” “Lookin’ for someone to irrigate your ditch?” (Alternate: “I’m looking for someone to irrigate my ditch.”) “I’m not one of those runaround guys. I’m a wolf, sure, but I’m like one of those wolves you throw scraps to. I’ll protect your campsite.”
Yeah, I've got my own fire and sewing kit 😎
You're the greatest thing until sliced bread
My cave or yours?
Is that a lump on your head or was somebody just happy to see you?
Hey baby, you got any neanderthal in you? No? Would you like some?
*Caveman **ClubHer** Profile Cave Painting:* Me have big south-facing cave to catch morning light. Me have running water. When you need water, Me run get it. Me have mammoth farm that last many Ice Ages. Me like sabertooth cat, Me not dire wolf cave man. Me cat name Mr. Bison because cat leave me dead bison at cave entrance. Me enjoy long hunting trips. Me enjoy killing big-dumb sloth. Me also enjoy making fire. Me make lots of fire, big fire. Me also invest in wheel startup. If you like make cave pretty, like make babies, like cat and strict protein diet to keep looking thin, the this cave man for you. Call me with 3 knocks using rock on tree trunk in south forest near tar pit.
*clinks two rocks* *Nods* *Enters cave*
Want to listen to rock music? [Citation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato)
You see if I take this stick, and rub really fast it in this groove, then it makes fire.
fun fact: Most people today are the same mental capacity as stone age people, most dont invent shit and don't know how the tech they use works nor how it was created, its all magic, if the geniuses dissapeared we would all live in wooden sheds as nobody would know how to make bricks
I'm going to rock your world
[Biggest wife is best wife](https://youtube.com/watch?v=i_APoSfCYwU)! So… my cave or yours?
You rock!
wanna see my long stick?
Wanna mate?
Og may have wheel but I got's bigger wheel baby!
Wanna see big bone?
Do this club smell like concussion?
My cave or yours?
ATTAH ATTAH
I’m on a quest for fire, and you are soooooo hot.
maybe leather? ramie fiber also seems pretty nice
I need your hard rock
Can I put the ooga in your booga
Unga bunga? No, we Unga banga 👀
Ooga booga! Thunk! Thud, drag.
Your cave or mine?
"Come light my fire? Warm cave!"
Ey baby lemme get your Cuneiform
I'm homo, wanna see my erectus?
I think you mean pickup slabs. They chiseled their words of love into stone, then bashed their love interests head with it before dragging her into his cave.
Me fire. You meat.
Club bonk
Me pick you up. We married now. Ugga Ugga.
You make heart burn like fire. Ugh!
You strong like mammoth, but make my heart melt.
Zog got inside the cave fire.
me got ooga booga in bearskins, us do ooga booga dance now
Wheel you come down to my cave and I will make you hot with my new invention fire.
Uhhh ohh uhh ohh ahhhg
*bonk* Source: horny jail
'Rock me Amadeus', because it showed the potential partner the person could see into the future.
"Drops leather pants" "Drops leather pants" Bang OR "Drops leather pants" "Runs" *Bonk* Bang
"Homo erectus indeed" - Barney Stinson
roses are red, I never bathe, but I have a club, now get in the cave
Me like you more then rock
Zugzug Lana!
*thunk*
Grok think you pretty
"Uggooh?" sauce: bcp://borlg.cave Unfortunately the old BCP (before carrier pigeon) protocol was abandoned long ago, so good luck asking the .cave TLD.
Eugh ohe 🪨
I’m gonna rock you.
Is that a statue of the Venus of Willendorf in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
Cave drawings and chill?
Pspspspsps
“Unga Bunga”
Snu snu?
\*BONK\* "I fuck you now!"
Come to my cave cousin, I'll take you from the Stone Age to the Bone Age
unga. unga bunga BUNGA gunga ;)
*strokes finger* . lady assumes a ‘yes’ angle. Rizzzzz
"Ooga booga, shawty. Ooooooga booooooga." That line kept evolution going. As a time traveler I know that as a fact. Landed myself some hairy cavelady pootang many times with that.
Get in that cave and get yer knickers off.
Can I drag you back to my cave by your hair and not your feet as I don't want you filling up with dirt
"I got that fire" -(Joe and) Mac Dre
Gneurshk. Which can mean different things.
Dearest Tak. I was wondering if you were free later tonight for me to ugg-thrug your trug-bug. Sincerely, Bob.
You look like you rock hard. It's real gneiss.
Unga bunga BONK then he drags her away
Say, girl. I got some ankylosaurus steak and some mushrooms if you want to hang out later. Come check out my new painting!
Did you invent fire? Cuz you're looking hot to me.
Yabba Dabba Doo I have a giant club between my legs and it is for you
Oog-ah-swa-bing? Ikom-pokk-noka🥰
I don't know Amy stone age chat up lines, but I do know the reason that cavemen dragged cavewomen round by the hair. It's because if they dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with pebbles.
Unga bunga, finger my hunga bunga
Homo erectus
I brew beer, you try beer. After beer we snu snu?
No worry babe, me pull you home by hair. If pull by feet you fill up with sand!
Bro, post this in r/scenesfromahat, it would fit perfectly there
Uh uh uhgg ugg uh uh ugg...
Hey babe I'd take you shopping in Rodeo Dr but it won't be built for another million years so ahhh.....bonk!
Cave painting and chill?
Draw me like one of your cave girls.
No need, you just club them upside their head and drag them to the nearest cave.
Cave drawings and chill?
Rock?
Lifts up arm "smell this"
No pick up lines needed just hold my club over my head and aggressively do the windmill until a cave lass comes over for the ooga booga times too short for words actions gents actions always work.
You Me Now (Always stick with the classics)
Couple spins of the helicopter D should do it.
"You want to get rocks off? Let me help you with that." *\*helps her carry her rocks\**
https://youtu.be/k8Nfw75QASU?feature=shared You think Neanderthals were any different than the rest of the animal kingdom?
Let me break your rock 😏 [Thousands of years ago, Stone Age humans used sticks and stones to form rocks into hand axes.](https://kids.britannica.com/kids/article/Stone-Age/353814)
You plump. Can Grog Milk?
I have fire at home.
You so hot, me wanna grab your hair, drag you to cave, and smash
You secretly invented time travel and want to use it to bang cavewomen, don't you